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Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies

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alala
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
I feel bad for Elizabeth Edwards, but her writing this book disturbs me. I know that they've been married for a long time, that she's been through a lot (the death of a child, cancer), but it seems like she's trying to find a way to make things okay for herself without leaving him. And if she's angry enough to write a book (for everyone to read) that, honestly, can only have the goal of humiliating him, then it's not okay, and it won't be. I don't know what it's like to be with someone for so long, but I just feel like she will never be happy with him.
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PhillyLass
05/05/09

@alala: ... and to feel like you're running out of options because terminal cancer is an ever-present reality and you have kids who will be left behind with the scummy, cheating parent who betrayed you.
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Little Green Frog (Wise Latina)
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
This: "It turned out that a single time was not all it was. More than a year later, I learned that he had allowed [the woman] into our lives and had not, even when he knew better, made her leave us alone." tells me that the child is his. How sad.
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JinxyMcDeath
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
Any woman who hits on a married woman has problems. It's 100% the fault of the married man for cheating - he's the one who took the vows. But what woman, knowing a man is married with children, discards that information as irrelevant, and goes in for the kill? I'm sorry - but I did that once. When I was 16. I learned my lesson then...I wish all women learned their lesson that young and not in their 30s while having unprotected sex with married men who's wives are dying of terminal cancer.
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JinxyMcDeath
05/05/09

@JinxyMcDeath: Any woman who hits on a married man has problems.

I take a medication that makes my typing all weird. There's this brain to hand issue that's screwing me up. Sorry, ya'll/
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freckles
05/05/09

@JinxyMcDeath: That is terrifying to me--the fact that there are women out there in there who don't care if the men are married, and I'm talking women in their 20s, 30s, 40s. I think my man is strong and will resist, but look at that movie with Beyonce, even if the men say no, the women can persist and literally throw themselves naked down in front of them. This does not take the blame off of the guy if he cheats, but it just annoying to know these types of women exist. I'm not married yet, but women already try to hit on my boyfriend WHEN I'M WITH HIM. WTF?
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@freckles: do you also worry about all the temptation you will face?
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freckles
05/05/09

@J.D.Regent: Oh yeah, DEF. There's always going to be temptation, but people throwing themselves at you? Guys have never thrown themselves at me the way girls hit on my boyfriend, however. I get the occasional "Hey Ma, what's your numba?" from the construction workers, but he gets women all up in his face trying to talk to him, give him their number, or get his. He brushes it off like it's no big deal because he's always been a person that people in general are drawn to, but still, it worries me sometimes.
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@freckles: Interesting. I think in most het couples I know it is the reverse. Lifelong monogamy is definitely a tall order in either case.
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victoriasauce
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
I can't speculate why she chose to stay. I don't judge her because of it really, but I would, for once, love to see a famous person's wife say, "Screw you. I will NOT stand beside you, embarrassed, when you hold a press conference. Those are your mistakes, not mine."
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BreeKilledGeorge
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
Am I the only one who feels bad for Rielle Hunter? I mean, she's not subhuman. What's the crime here - adultery? Was it not consentual? I'd expect a less puritanical response from the Jezebel commentariat.
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Evie Havok
05/05/09

@BreeKilledGeorge: Yes, she knew he was married. Why go after him if she could easily get her kicks somewhere else? She definitely wanted money or publicity out of this. She got it, too. I don't feel bad for her at all. The only person I feel bad for is that poor kid that was born out of this.
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Little Green Frog (Wise Latina)
05/05/09

@BreeKilledGeorge: It's not like she was deceived when she approached JE. She KNEW who he was and about his family, and went ahead anyway. So, no, no sympathy for her OR for him. They are both 100% guilty.
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@BreeKilledGeorge: dude Jezebel commenters as a group are super hardcore about zero tolerance for cheating. I'm not that way but I dislike Rielle because I feel like she was money hungry and manipulative. If I am totally honest with my ridiculous self I feel like if she was really the progressive activist she pretended to be she would have put Edwards' campaign first and refused the affair for the good of the cause, or at least been more discreet.

But the money is definitely the worst for me. And the baby. I know this sounds awful but I sort of think, if you have a clandestine affair with a married man, you accept that if you become pregnant you will either abort the child or abscond far far away with him or her and never let it be known who the father is. Cheating is one thing, but would YOU accept hush money from your lover? To me that is what makes her a bad person.
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PhillyLass
05/05/09

@BreeKilledGeorge: Adultery is gross. Period. And, while she didn't make the vows that John Edwards violated, she did willingly participate in helping him do so (and, apparently, encouraging him to do so). So, basically, she's an accessory to adultery, which is almost as reprehensible.

But, even worse, from my perspective, is the bragging and publicity-seeking. I mean, going up to a Page Six reporter and bragging about the affair? What did she hope to gain?
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BreeKilledGeorge
05/05/09

@Little Green Frog: I don't feel bad for her because she was used and didn't get the guy - no "prize" is John Edwards. I feel bad for her because EE speaks of her as though she's subhuman. I dunno. Yeah, I mean, she's promiscuous (in the sense that she sought out a married dude for a fling) and unstable, but I don't see her as a moral culprit here. As for EE, I find her to be disingenuous - ostensibly clinging to love but really clinging to power and status, hence the need to put the mistress in her place.
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midwestmarge
05/05/09

@BreeKilledGeorge: I don't feel bad for her. Anyone who changes their name from Lisa Druck to Rielle (pronounced Riley) Hunter and wears leopard skin headbands is going to draw ire in me. Every time I read her name, I read it as Rye-elle.
She knew what she was doing, and she seems like kind of a parasite, so I don't feel bad for her. I don't feel bad for that douche Jon Edwards either. I was one of his biggest fans, and I feel seriously betrayed. What a fraud. I always wanted Elizabeth to run for pres.
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otherginger
05/05/09

@PhillyLass: This is a woman who has been a muse for both Bret East Ellis and Jay McInerney. She obviously has some kind of magnetism; she obviously has grown accustomed to a sort of celebrity.
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Evie Havok
05/05/09

@BreeKilledGeorge: "Yeah, I mean, she's promiscuous (in the sense that she sought out a married dude for a fling) and unstable, but I don't see her as a moral culprit here."

Do you see what's wrong with this sentence? . . . "i don't see her as a moral culprit here" and then there is the "she sought out a married dude for a fling." You just answered your own question.
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BreeKilledGeorge
05/05/09

@J.D.Regent: yeah, she's a sponge, and yes the hush money takes it to a slightly different level, morally speaking. Still, demanding that Oprah not refer to Hunter by name is dehumanizing, and Hunter doesn't deserve that - should we emblazon an "S" on her forehead too?
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@midwestmarge: Oh shit, it's pronounced RILEY? That's it.
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@otherginger: whoa, where are you getting this shit from? She dated Bret Easton Ellis? But she seems so...perky.
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@otherginger: oh shit i just wikipedia'd her. Intense! Who knew? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say daddy issues.
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@BreeKilledGeorge: I agree that moral sanctimoniousness and condemnation around fidelity generally reaches ridiculous proportions.
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shantidevi
05/05/09

@J.D.Regent:
"But the money is definitely the worst for me. And the baby. I know this sounds awful but I sort of think, if you have a clandestine affair with a married man, you accept that if you become pregnant you will either abort the child or abscond far far away with him or her and never let it be known who the father is."

Unless your motive is monetary, in which case your main goal is to get pregnant as quickly as possible in order to score a big, 18 years+ payoff. Or maybe I'm too cynical.
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Little Green Frog (Wise Latina)
05/05/09

@BreeKilledGeorge: @afiunderground: She sought him out. That is why I don't feel bad for her. There was no naïveté, and she wasn't deceived by a con man with a false name and a secret life. He knew what he was doing too.

Morality refers to a code of conduct, and they both broke it and hurt many people with that choice.

I am not defending EE here (treating RH as Voldemort may not be the most grown-up thing to do), I'm just responding to your question: "Am I the only one who feels bad for Rielle Hunter?".
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@shantidevi: That was exactly the point I intended to make.
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GeorgeFayne
05/05/09

@J.D.Regent: I'm with you.
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KatrinaBullfinch
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
Is anyone else bothered by the fact that these snippets show Elizabeth blaming the other woman for everything, like she's a Fatal Attraction? The other woman should be ashamed of herself and I certainly don't judge Elizabeth for not getting a divorce (I'm sure she has valid reasons) but what's with her acting like this woman ruined their lives? He did.
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Evie Havok
05/05/09

@KatrinaBullfinch: She pursued him. He fell for it. It's both of their faults. Neither party should be absolved in cases of cheating.
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blueberrypancake
05/05/09

@KatrinaBullfinch: I agree with you. Even when she says she can't believe John "fell for" her lame line, she seems to be taking digs at Rielle. It just doesn't look very good -- Elizabeth is better than that!

@afiunderground: I agree it is wrong to go after someone who is married/in a relationship, but Rielle wasn't breaking any commitments. He's the one who lied to the person he vowed to be faithful to. Fucker.
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Evie Havok
05/05/09

@blueberrypancake: Like I said, in cases of cheating I blame both parties. The person who pursues and the one who complies with the cheating. It's equally both their faults.
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MuttonDressedAsLamb
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
I cried when the affair was confirmed. Partly because John Edwards was, like my father, someone I looked up to and respected. And sadly, just like my father, cheated with a woman who is, even on the best of days, worthless.

I've seen it so many times - men with amazing partners tossing them aside for someone with no more than a willingness to stroke their ego.

It makes me afraid that men don't want to be with an equal partner but would rather have a fluffy girl who would never challenge them with an intelligent thought.

Elizabeth Edwards, thank you for handling this with grace and dignity like everything else in your life. I would rather be a force to be reckoned with any day than a fluffy girl.
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@MuttonDressedAsLamb: I feel like people tend to cheat with trifling, marginal individuals rather than people they respect because they think it will not disrupt their primary relationship. Like, Rielle is obviously not a threat to Elizabeth, so I can do this.
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midwestdesigner
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
Argh. I feel so badly for Elizabeth Edwards, and I also feel betrayed. As someone who really liked John Edwards since his first run in '04 and believed in his war on poverty, I am just astounded at the selfishness he exhibited to his causes, the Democratic party and of course, his family. It really makes me think about the stance "This politician might have done something bad in his private life, but he/she's still a good public figure/policy-maker/etc." His lack of concern for others and bad judgment really affected both his private and public (service) life.
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sequined
05/05/09

@midwestdesigner: I know! I loved John Edwards, a LOT, to the point of lecturing my classes about why he was such an awesome candidate in this election cycle and now, like a lot of his supporters I think, I feel betrayed and fooled. Shouldn't someone have noticed that he wasn't what he seemed? Why does my political life have to so closely mirror my personal life? WHY?
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lalaland13
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
Here's what I find infuriating: the idea that Rielle Hunter is waiting for Elizabeth to die so she can "claim" John as her own. I don't know if there's any basis to this idea, but it's formed in my head and won't go away.
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victoriasauce
05/05/09

@lalaland13: I heard the same thing. I honestly have no idea if it's true, but the thought INFURIATES me. What kind of person would actually want such a terrible thing to happen, just to snag someone up? Ugh.
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lalaland13
05/05/09

@victoriasauce: Yeah I hate that she might think "Well if she's dead then I win so there!" No one wins in this shitty situation. But if she actually has John's love-child, say it before Elizabeth goes. Woman up about it, since everyone already suspects anyway. I hope Elizabeth is around for another 10 or 20 years, but I'm afraid she won't be.

If I were one of the Edwards children, and after my mom dies this hussy starts trying to be with my dad, I would punch her in the face. And maybe my dad too, for good measure.
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@lalaland13: I think she's probably got what she wants from him already.
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morninggloria
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
I still haven't defaced my pink circa 2004 "JOHN EDWARDS IS HOT" shirt, and I'm starting to think that, for irony's sake, I should leave it the way it is.
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@morninggloria: YOU'RE HOT. Hey maybe if he sees you with it you can get your own million dollar baby!
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morninggloria
05/05/09

@J.D.Regent: He'll be like "Aw, shit," and just write me a check. I won't have to say anything; the shirt will say it all.
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Nighthawk (the former Okori Wadsworth) is headed back to DGUSA in November!
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
What an asshole that John Edwards is. I mean.... wow.
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lalaland13
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
I'm afraid this may not have been the only time John stepped out on Elizabeth. The thing that gets me is Elizabeth seems like such a nice and warm person, and sincere and honest-sometimes too honest, perhaps. Whereas John seems greasy and slimy, and seemed kind of phony even before I knew about the affair.
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@lalaland13: This is why I can't work in politics. People ALWAYS said he seemed smarmy and fake but I was like no, you just can't handle his populist politics. And when Megan was like, he cheated, lied and it's his baby, I was all NO or if he did than Elizabeth said it was ok! I have zero instincts.
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merely_a_muse
05/05/09

@J.D.Regent: I was so there right with you :(.
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lalaland13
05/05/09

@merely_a_muse: @J.D.Regent: I went back and forth, had mixed feelings about him. He wasn't my candidate of choice in the primaries, though.
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kad9k
05/05/09

@lalaland13: I was a huge fan, but as all this info comes out, I'm starting to think he had a lot of us fooled. Remember that TIME story that said Kerry didn't want him as a VP because he'd told him the same "secret" about crawling onto the body of his dead son twice? Creepy.
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lalaland13
05/05/09

@kad9k: Oh god yes. That's one of the reasons I was uncomfy with him. A friend of mine pointed that out and said he couldn't trust Edwards because of that.

Also, this is Wiki and the NY Post, and a blind item, so it may not be that reliable, but this is weird:

The first apparent print mention of a possible Edwards/Hunter affair appeared in the New York Post. On August 27, 2007, the Page Six feature published a blind gossip item[13] which asked "WHICH political candidate enjoys visiting New York because he has a girlfriend who lives downtown? The pol tells her he'll marry her when his current wife is out of the picture." The mention in the Post started a tabloid and blogosphere investigation that eventually led back to Hunter and Edwards.[14][15]

[en.wikipedia.org]
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PhillyLass
05/05/09

@kad9k: Huh?
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Pennyfeather
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
I wonder if she answers the $64,000 question: why the fuck would she stay with someone like that? She seems very self-aware about how tremendously shitty he was.
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roodles
05/05/09

@Pennyfeather: I'm sure at this point in her life she feels like it would be more trouble to get a divorce. My mom and sister also have a chronic illness - not cancer, thank goodness - but they have definitely talked about not wanting to be alone because their condition will only get worse as time passes.
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@Pennyfeather: dude she is in the twilight of her life. Why stress about divorce? She could still send him far far away from her.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
05/05/09

@Pennyfeather: I'm sure she has her own reasons, which we don't know anything about, and it's not anyone's place to second-guess or shame her for staying. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, and I can certainly see why you'd ask because I've wondered the same thing. But it's really no one's place but her own to make such a decision, just as it's be no one's place but your own should this ever happen to you. (God forbid.) Whenever something like this happens, the first reaction is to shout "What the fuck? You're not stupid! He's an asshole, why why why would you even consider taking him back?!" and that's only natural. It's just such a complicated situation, and no one can say for sure what they'd do if something like this happened to them.
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lalaland13
05/05/09

@Pennyfeather: A very timely episode of Golden Girls came on the other day. In it, Dorothy's daughter leaves her husband after he cheats. But then they have a long talk and he promises never ever to do it again, and Dorothy wants to punch him in the face and yell at her daughter for taking him back, but instead she just lectures him and says that he hurt like she had never been hurt before, and if she ever sees her daughter hurt like that again, she will cut a bitch. But then she has to let it go because it's her daughter and it's not her choice to make.

I'm paraphrasing, but I kind of wish someone would give John that talk. Ideally Bea Arthur, may she rest in peace.

Also, I probably relate too many things to Golden Girls.
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Santos L Halper
05/05/09

@..now it's just Aesop's Foibles.: Well-put. Relationships are like a hydra, arms extending in every direction, infiltrating every aspect of the participants' lives. It's so easy, from the outside, to sit back and determine what is best for the parties involved, because the tentacles of that relationship haven't infiltrated our own existence. The media's attempt to make sense of this is for naught, because no one but those involved can really explain their motivations, nor should they have to.
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Joyce Carol Hall and Oates
05/05/09

@lalaland13: I am friending you for making an excellent reference to a GG episode.
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sportz.star
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
Cheating is bad. Lying about cheating is expected. Buy lying while confessing about the cheating? That's really low.
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prestocaro fears the culling
05/05/09

@sportz.star: Yeah, why lie when you're confessing? Makes no sense to me. Did he think she wouldn't find out? I mean, as a public figure, I'd think one would assume that everything sees light eventually.
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colormeroutine
05/05/09

@sportz.star: And also really common. Stupid, but common. People think if they downplay it and make it seem not as bad as it was their more likely to be forgiven. They don't realize the truth keeps coming once its out, and being forgiven for one detail only to have more revealed later? just drags the whole thing up again and draws it all out longer
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@sportz.star: That's not a confession, that's a CYA.
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sportz.star
05/05/09

@J.D.Regent: Ah yes, I know the CYA well. As a lawyer, I'd expect him to do it better.
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BellaTricks
05/05/09

@sportz.star: Leave it to politicians to treat opportunities for personal confession and growth as opportunities to do damage control. Ugh.
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J.D.Regent
05/05/09

@sportz.star: yeah, that's why pro se is never the way to go.
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roodles
05/05/09

In reply to Elizabeth Edwards Talks Directly About John's Affair, Many Lies
sheesh, this makes John Edwards look like the douchebag of all time. I wonder why she stays with him.
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