• This is an actual direct mail piece from the Virginia Republican Party, encouraging people to vote against "evil." I encourage people to vote against evil, too — the kind of evil that would stoke racial fears to win an election. [Mark Halperin]
• Also, please vote against the kind of evil that thinks it's funny to put a picture of Obama on a fake food stamp adorned with fried chicken and watermelon. That would be the evil that comes out of the California group Chaffey Community Republican Women [The Press Enterprise]
• Or the kind that suggests that Obama's mother would've aborted him had she the legal right to, so he should consider taking away that right from other people. [National Review]

• Joe The Plumber isn't really named Joe, isn't really a licensed plumber, wouldn't really pay more in taxes under Obama's plan — but he might have to pay his back taxes now. Naughty, naughty. Oh, and because his name is misspelled on his voter registration card, he'd be stopped from casting his ballot if he was a newbie. [NY Times, Politico]
• The Secret Service is now actively separating the press from McCain supporters, which is rather a broad interpretation of their mission to protect the candidate. [Washington Post]
• Unsurprisingly, the FBI and Justice Department are investigating ACORN "for any evidence of a coordinated national scam." Because that's likely. [Huffington Post]
• That lobbyist, Vicki Iseman, who the New York Times said had an affair with John McCain broke her silence and said that she didn't. She thinks she got dragged into it because of some bad feelings between former McCain aide John Weaver and current McCain aide Rick Davis, but who knows. [National Journal]
• But just to end things on an upbeat note for once, go read the inspiring story of civil rights leader Andrew Young who got to cast a ballot for a black Presidential candidate today. It's sweet. [Traverse City Record Eagle]

Anyone with even a vague sense of pop culture knows that Britney and Paris are yesterday's news. Here's a link to Forbes' Celebrity 100. Paris and Britney don't even make the list any more. Instead, the top 10, in order: Oprah Winfrey, Tiger Woods, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce Knowles, David Beckham, Johnny Depp, Jay-Z, The Police, JK Rowling, Brad Pitt. So, they didn't pick other big celebrities, who were either men, or black, or married.

Um, maybe because attempting to smear Barack Obama by equating him with J.K. Rowling is actually significantly dumber than anything his campaign has done so far? That and other stuff with me and Megan (and Mitt Romney) below.

MOE: I still haven't watched that McCain ad but I listened to the Ludacris song the Obama campaign could not resist condemning strongly. The Jesse Jackson couplet is my favorite.

Well give Luda a special pardon if I'm ever in the slammer
Better yet put him in office, make me your vice president
Hillary hated on you, so that bitch is irrelevant
Jesse talking slick and apologizing for what?
if you said it then you meant it how you want it have a gut!

MOE: I don't know much about Don Siegelman though I imagine he's a Corrupt SOB or whatever their baseball caps said but I'm very much in favor of holding Karl Rove in contempt.
MEGAN: I watched the McCain ad, you didn't miss anything. He's implicitly compared to Britney and Paris and then hit for not supporting offshore drilling. I'm not sure what Paris thinks about offshore drilling, nor why I should care.
MEGAN: Don Siegelman was a Democratic politician that was corrupt but Karl wanted him gotten on corruption charges so apparently he's not that corrupt or something. I don't think Democrats ought to be hanging their hats on Siegelman, but whatever.
MOE: Offshore drilling would only make shit like this a little more accessible.
MEGAN: But Britney doesn't care about McCain's ad and only noticed it because she was Googling herself, which is something she can do and John McCain apparently can't. Who knew I had anything in common with Britney?
MOE: But speaking of fuel, I need some sooooo bad right now. brb
MEGAN: So, now we're both back!
MOE: OH thank god you're back. I had no one to talk about John Weaver with. John Weaver being John McCain's old pal and campaign strategist who seems determined to defeat John McCain. Weaver's the guy who met with Daschle to try and arrange a party switch, right? Not to be confused with Mark McKinnon, who pledged (and made good on the pledge) to drop off the McCain campaign if Obama won the primary. Also: anyone keeping tabs on Vicki Iseman? Also, what happened to your internet? COMCAST IS WATCHING YOU KNOW.
MEGAN: I have Verizon! SUCK IT COMCAST.
MOE: Uh, yeah, suck it Comcast, there are OTHER high-speed internet service providers I can totally waste my morning cursing the existence of. In other news Virginia is officially a swing state. In other news like everyone who doesn't think McCain is a sellout to the Nazis is starting to think he is just stupid — like even Karl Rove is dissing him today but I hold Karl Rove links in contempt — and basically it has come down to Mitt Romney as his staunchest supporter. Mitt Romney!
MOE: Mitt "We can all agree you're the candidate of change" Romney
MEGAN: Oh, it's so nice when former enemies come together in pursuit of a common goal, like Mitt Romney potentially winning a national election.
MOE: He was fucking hot, though. And so bland I forgot why I hated him. Oh yeah this. Hey, remember that shitstorm when those Salt Lake City bloggers accused us of plagiarizing their idea? Man, good times.
MEGAN: Ah, the ghosts of crappy hours past! Although, on my end, this hour has been pretty crappy. I've got one hell of a hangover.
MOE: Hey, finally someone took my idea and wrote a Dreams of My Father vs. Faith of my Fathers mashup. Also, maybe we should talk about Turkey?
MEGAN: Oh, God, please, nothing to do with food right now! Or do you mean the country?
MOE: Yeah nevermind I don't really feel like discussing Islam either after spending like 45 minutes last night writing the 283rd comment on that post about those lady suicide bombers.
MEGAN: I feel you there.
MOE: Also did you realize we had so many 2nd amendment fans up in them comments? I didn't. Now I'm thinking I could maybe use a gun myself.

MOE: Soooooo
MEGAN: Is it grosser, do you think, to watch Gene Simmons bone a bimbo or to think about John McCain bumping uglies with a lobbyist?
  Because, really, for me that is the question of the day.
MOE: My question is, is this what he was talking about when Obama said that thing about how John McCain was a good man who had kept company with the WRONG PEOPLE? Is this Huckabee's "miracle"? Is Vicki Iseman the MOTHER OF MCCAIN'S ILLEGITIMATE BLACK CHILD?
It was easier for me knowing that it was like eight years ago or something. I can't say why that was easier, it just was.
 MEGAN: If Vicki Iseman is the mother of McCain's dirty little secret, I may have to call my shit closed for business for a couple of months until that image is banished from my mind.
Also, I love how his staffers told her to fuck off, and she considered to tell everyone what great ties she had to his office.
Typical bullshit consulting company lobbyist.
McCain's giving a news conference about it later this morning.
 MOE: O yay! Didn't we look up Iseman's name before?
Or didn't we. I forget December.
 MEGAN: Please let him say "I did not have sexual relations with this women."
Please.
  Pretty please.
  
I've been a really, really good girl this year. Sort of.
Well, I looked into it in December, but didn't realize it was a 10 year old story, so I didn't see her picture until then, but, whoo-boy did I see it several times in the Wonkette tips line after that.
Also, the pic the news is using of her in the formal dress makes her totally resemble Cindy McCain more than the profile on her company's website.
MOE: No, you know where she resembles Cindy MCain is this photo with Bush
MEGAN: You know you've trolled the minor corners of the internet too many times when you've seen that story more than once.
MOE: But yeah, her haircut in that pic is soooooo Cindy '00
MEGAN: Totally! Also, expert judgement is required... is she wearing a belly chain?
Press conference time! Cindy's by his side.

MOE: No! But wow, she looks pretty good. Um, soooo John Weaver went on the record with the Post saying HE was the one who told Vicki to "go away."
He also emailed the Times.
 MEGAN: Yeah, I saw that. Also, McCain says he's proud of his service, and he didn't do any favors for any lobbyists. He's "disappointed" by the New York Times piece
  He just characterized their relationship as "friends" for Washington.
MOE: Is he the source of this whole thing? Not for shoddy payment I guess!
 
MEGAN: Which means you know virtually nothing about one another outside of work and don't see each other outside of work functions like receptions and stuff.
MOE: He's all squinty.
Hahahaha he's smirking!
 
MEGAN: Those bad spots keep going on and off.
Cindy's suit is cute.
 MOE: I know!
I HATE her outfits.
But this one is nice
MEGAN: Also, I'd like my eyebrows to look like hers. I have shitty eyebrows.
MOE: So John Weaver is indeed the same strategist who approached Tom Daschle about how his boss might leave his party. 
MEGAN: Also, can you imagine telling your boss to stop boning someone?

MEGAN: I call shenanigans on that part of the story.
MOE: Here's another thing: is this why Mark McKinnon said he'd quit the McCain campaign if it meant running against Obama? Because if there's one sleazy tactic Team Clinton can't really employ effectively, it's the whole "HA HA HA HE'S SUCH A HORNY OLD GOAT HIS ADVISERS NEEDED TO SHOO OFF THAT TELECOM LOBBYIST" ...Which sucks and is a double standard since Hillary didn't cheat, but whatevs.
  
Well, that was over fast!
It's almost like he wanted to get out of there!
MEGAN: That spotlight stage right was annoying.
 
MOE: Here's another question: does it make it better that she looks soooooooo much like Cindy?
  
Like at that age, he might have just confused the two?
 
MEGAN: I have been wondering that all night, actually. The resemblance is a little freaky.
I dunno, I guess if my husband was going to cheat I would like to think it would be for something he wasn't getting at home (besides the sex, which he would most certainly be getting at home).
On the other hand, would that make me more insecure? Like, would he always be boning a younger version of me?
MOE: Well Vicky is not that much younger than Cindy. And McCain just said that he never talked to John Weaver about his relationship w. Vicky. (Is that true or do you make sure not to have that conversation if you suspect something is going on?)
MEGAN: I am just saying, I cannot imagine asking my boss, a Senator, if he is boning some chick and to stop it. Perhaps this is why I don't work on the Hill.
 
MOE: Because the whole story is so weird, it's just kinda hard to buy. She looks too much like Cindy, and she sounds annoying and clingy. Oh no is that woman hating of me?
MEGAN: But, for my part, when I "turned" up at an event at a Congressman's invite (when I was a lobbyist) not realizing said Member's predelictions, his staff didn't say a word to me, or to him... they just made sure I was seated as far away from him as possible and that he didn't have time to talk to me.
But, yes, I mean, everything the NYT is reporting is totally how shit works in DC. If you're trying to build a relationship with an office, you show up at every event you can, you make nice, etc. Maybe she had a crush, maybe they were boning, but on the surface the behavior, while slightly annoying, isn't outside the norm. Dudes who work for firms like that (mostly earmarks) also fixate on a Member because you only really need one.
But she's a woman, so obviously there was something else going on (and maybe there was), because, of course, she couldn't just be trying to do her job.
  (I might be projecting here, but, still).
MOE: And the fact that the Wash Post had a story ready as soon as the NYT put its own story on the web is also weird. Like there MIGHT have been something going on, but...eh...1999?
MEGAN: Well, everyone was working on it as soon as it got linked to Drudge in December, and, as I said, I got a bunch of tips that it was her once I wrote my piece, so the rumors on the Hill, they wuz a-flying.
Is it funny that CNN is currently running a commercial for the NYT?
MOE: They run that fucking commercial every fucking second. Here's a question: do you think there was any encouragement at all from the Obama campaign to run this story? A few days ago Gail Collins wrote that Barack Obama INSISTS on referring to McCain as a "military hero, in tones that suggest the conflict in question was the Spanish Civil War." Things are icy between them. But are they truly that icy or does McCain just not talk to rookies? Further, isn't it nice to have something to talk about that ISN'T Michelle Obama's patriotism?
MEGAN: See, given that this story was around in December, I'm guessing it was initially a right-wing hit job
 MOE: Oh yeah and that George Will column you sent me points out that "only" 12 of today's senators have been elected to no other office. Only? Jesus Christ. It's the fucking house of lords.
Oh it was DEFINITELY initially a right wing hit job.
MEGAN: I was laughing at that, like, it sort of possibly puts Hillary in good company.
MOE: I bet the Romney campaign flung it around. I bet that's one of the reasons (aside from sheer spite of course!) McCain so hated Romney.
 
MEGAN: God knows Giuliani didn't, what with pot, kettle, dark colors, etc
but i don't see as how either Obama or Clinton would've been able to get the NYT enough corroborating evidence in the meantime to allow them to feel safe publishing it
MOE: Nah I don't see the Obama campaign as having any corroborating evidence, and why would Clinton even bother.
But what I think is that here we go. It's Obama-McCain and from here on out it's going to be an Obama-McCain news cycle.
MEGAN: Next up: Barry's crack-smoking go-to guy for blow jobs.
MOE: Yay! I'm still fixated on this John Weaver thing though. Clearly firing him back in September looks like it was a good move for the McCain campaign. But shit, how has the campaign really moved since then? I thought McCain's rise was mainly a factor of "Well that Giuliani thing didn't work, and that Law & Order guy was better on TV...and this Romney guy is a dweeb..." and then "oh wait look the news in Iraq is actually not getting worse!"
MEGAN: Well, and McCain's got Joe-mentum!
  I mean, I think Weaver was ousted as part of the whole "we don't have any money for anyone anymore" thing
But, in retrospect, probably a good decision.
MOE: Or not!?
MEGAN: I don't know, he might've just been another anonymous source anyway.
Or, he might've been not great at his job.
MOE: Yeah blargh. You know what? The endless cummer scandals totally ruined the fun of heterosex scandals.
Did you catch Jon Stewart on Larry King?
MEGAN: No, sadly! It was, um, the reunion episode of Project Runway.
They ran outtakes of Michael Kors losing his shit during the WWE challenge
Totally worth it.
MOE: Oh my god he was wonderful.
But so was JS.
 
MEGAN: I know! I totally meant to watch it, too, and then just spaced.