• Lindsay Lohan a liar? In the latest issue of Nylon, LL says she's hoping to work with Seth Rogen but "Seth won't call us back." Rogen says:

"That's not true — I never got a call from anyone that works for her." [The Star]

• More Lindsay Lohan drama: A source says she "is spending like crazy" and is living on credit right now. And most of the cash she spends? It's Samantha's. [Gatecrasher]
• Sad face! Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond Jr. broke up. [NY Mag]
• Has Madonna dumped Jesus Luz? [Just Jared]
• This report says Jesus recently said: "Madonna has an amazing body, is a sexy, kind person and a great mother. The difference in our ages means nothing. She looks like a 30-year-old and has a youthful personality to go with it. I love her and nothing else matters." Which sounds like they are not broken up. [PopDirt]
• By the by, Madonna's nanny gave notice, then her Madgesty told her to leave, immediately. [Daily Mail]
• This paper claims that Guy Ritchie has a black eye, but the photographic evidence is sketchy. [The Sun]
• Jade Goody, dental assistant turned reality-TV star, died Sunday at the age of 27. [AP, NY Times]
• The Jade Goody farewell will be planned by her family. [Mirror]
• Jade Goody leaves behind £4 million for her sons. [Telegraph]
• Amy Winehouse's label isn't thrilled with her new music; they were expecting her "trademark vintage soul" sound and she is now "heavily influenced by reggae," naturally. [The Sun]
• "Bruce Willis Ties Knot With Underwear Model" means he married a woman who has posed for Victoria's Secret. The ceremony took place at Parrot Bay in the Turks & Caicos. [Breitbart, Yahoo via AP]
• Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher and Rumer, Scout and Tallulah attended the wedding. [Star]
• Yes, Ashton Kutcher Twittered a picture of Demi Moore's ass — taken while she was steaming his suit (maybe for the wedding?) Yes, she knew about it. No, I don't know why people are so interested. Like they have never seen a woman bending over before. [Defamer]
• Michael Jackson wants to adopt a kid. No comment. [Gatecrasher]
• Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart are engaged; he decided to put a ring on it. [NY Post, Daily Mail]
• Katie Holmes "played babysitter" for Cruz and Romeo Beckham, taking them — and Suri — out around L.A. over the weekend. [Daily Mail]
• A wake was held for Natasha Richardson on Saturday in Manhattan. [Star]
• Natasha Richardson's funeral was held late Sunday afternoon in upstate New York. [E!, USA Today]
• Another picture from the forthcoming Where The Wild Things Are flick can be found here. Guess what? The kid who plays Max is named Max. [USA Today]
• Winnie Cooper is married, you guys. Danica McKellar got hitched in La Jolla, CA this weekend. [ET]
• Here's everything you want to know about Annie Leibovitz's money troubles — which may have nothing to do with same-sex marriage after all. [Page Six]
• Whoa: Katy Perry is dating Josh Groban? I kissed a (singer who makes people want to) hurl! [Perez]
• Honestly, it is sort of shocking that Knowing topped the box office, with $6 million more than I Love You, Man, since there were no early reviews and Nicolas Cage did zero publicity and Paul Rudd worked overtime. But Knowing is PG-13 and ILYM is rated R, so maybe families went to see Cage? [Breitbart]
• Like House? Like spoilers? This link pretty much tells you who is going to die. [NY Mag]
• Remember that Jennifer Aniston movie, The Baster? This casting call is looking for a "heavy set woman" and a "woman with a round face, small eyes, and upturned nose" to have profanities shouted at them in a scene. Fun? [TMZ]
• Johnny Depp topped a list of stars people would most like to share a candlelit dinner with. [The Star]
• Prince Harry will have lunch with the soldier he called a racial slur. [Telegraph]
• Are you ready for this image-shattering picture of 18-year-old Emma Roberts in the new GQ — in which she is wearing a tanktop and no bra? [Just Jared]
• Hilary Duff is back on TV: First she landed a guest spot on Ghost Whisperer; now she's gonna be on Law & Order: SVU. [E!]
• Speaking of L&O, Mariska Hargitay is headed back to work after a three-week absence. [People]
• Justin Guarini says American Idol sorta sucks: "Every single year, we cannot stand the group performances. I know they can't stand it either. And I think what makes [the group performances] even worse now is that they're lip-synced. They're really prerecorded now." [E!]
• Metallica went on stage at South By Southwest, telling the audience they were a "young band from Norway." Are they still in therapy? [USA Today]
• Kanye West closed SXSW, saying "It feels so good to rock for you tonight." [AP]
• We heard Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green broke up; then we heard they were back together, now we're hearing that she has moved out and is staying in a hotel. Ah, l'amour. [E!]
• Congrats to Natasha Bedingfield, who got hitched in Malibu on Saturday. [E!]
• After the success of that video which is an internet hit, Ricky Gervais and Elmo are working on a show together! [The Sun]
• Flavor Flav turned 50 over the weekend?!?!?! [Hollywood Rag]
• John Mellencamp blogged about the record business for HuffPo. [Huffington Post]
• Jamie Lee Curtis blogged about the "Recession Diet." [HuffPo]
• M.I.A. will play Coachella on April 18. [NY Times]
• "John Cleese halves payout for ex-wife to £650,000 in first celebrity credit crunch divorce." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which closeted TV icon enjoys "watersports" in his bedroom? His steady stream of gentleman callers are a little grossed out by it." [Gatecrasher]
• "I love writing for Dwight because he has one of the richest back stories of any of the characters. He is a farmer who is part Amish, who has war criminal relatives and who was involved in a secret love triangle — and has a nine-bedroom, possibly haunted hotel-farm. He has such a colorful past, and Rainn [Wilson] is such a gifted actor that it's like a great treasure map writing for his character… I think the Kelly character is fun to play because she's not a role model for anybody. Although I do sometimes believe my parents wish I played a cardiologist at Johns Hopkins." — Mindy Kaling, of The Office. [Washington Post]
• "To say that they like this movie would be like the crazy understatement of the world, 'cause they are crazy about it. They carry the characters around; they play in the morning with their action figures, so this is a really great experience to make a film for my kids that they love. There's not that many movies that have female superheroes in them so this was a great opportunity to not only be telling a great story of female empowerment but also create this awesome character." — Reese Witherspoon, on Monsters Vs. Aliens. [The Sun]
• "I'd probably have head-butted her new boyfriend, put her over my shoulder and run off." — Pete Doherty, on what he'd have done if he'd seen Kate Moss at his record label. [The Sun]
• "A few people have gone overboard. We have people come in to spray them. But there's a little Oompa-Loompa going on this season. It's not for me. I'm holding to the middle-age pasty-white-guy look." — Tom Bergeron, on the orange-ness on the contestants on Dancing With The Stars. [E!]
• "I love doing photo shoots. I mean, if I could just sign with IMG and do ad campaigns and model more, I'd do that… because that's fun for me. That's not work." — Lindsay Lohan, to Nylon. [Page Six]
• "A size zero? I've never heard of that. That didn't exist when I was growing up. When did that start? What does it mean?" — Heidi Klum. [Socialite Life]

The Good:
Ed Burns and Christy Turlington aren't so rock 'n' roll, but gosh and golly they look lovely.
Jerry Butler: One class act.
Dear Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan: You make me heart happy.
Does Chevy Chase's wristband mean he's old enough to drink?
I know I should hate Damien Rice's poseur maroon suit. But I sorta love it.
Leonard Cohen: He's your man.
Ben Harper can steal my kisses!
Nom nom Tom Hanks in glasses.
John Mellencamp: Way to rebel and ditch the tie.
Seth Meyers stays classy.
While Richard Belzer busts a move.
Princess of Firyal of Jordan looks like a Tory Burch ad.

The Bad:
Has Miss Patti been vacationing at Del Boca Vista?
God bless Iggy Pop for still rocking the shirtless chest and leather pants. That doesn't mean I have to like the look of it, though.
Joan Jett: See above.

The Ugly:
Even a love affair with Laurie Anderson doesn't compensate for Lou Reed's douchey attitude and leather suit.
Madonna, Madonna, Madonna: What the fuck are you wearing? The sorta see-through dress, the bow tie, the boots. Ugh.

[Images via FilmMagic.]