• Avril Lavigne has officially filed for divorce from Sum 41's Deryck Whibley.

They were married 3 years and 1 month, and Avril cites "irreconcilable differences." She also doesn't want to have to pay him any money. If he does want spousal support, she'll be forced to ask, "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?" [TMZ]

• Interesting: The guy arrested for allegedly burglarizing Lindsay Lohan's house, Nick Prugo, is friends with Teen Dream Drake Bell. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin would like for you to know that he will "continue on television" and that he's "not worried about future employment." Great. [NY Daily News]
• Alex Rodriguez flew from New York to Miami for one night to "wine and dine" Kate Hudson, who was in South Beach. Romantic! Oh but A-Rod's ex-wife, Cynthia, and their two daughters live in Miami, and Alex also wanted to see his kids. Romantic? [Page Six]
• "Leona Lewis hit in the face by maniac who then screamed ‘I love you.'" Don't get it. [Mirror]
• Apparently the guy was at the bookstore event where Leona Lewis was signing autographs for 90 minutes. A witness says the man walked up with the book, she signed it, and as she looked up he punched her. People could hear the impact. Then security jumped on the man — who was laughing — and Leona was hustled out with her hand over her eye. Leona says she is "ok." [BBC News]
• Taylor Swift will host Saturday Night Live next month. Will there be a Kanye West sketch? Taylor says: "I've been thinking about skit ideas for a long time. There are definitely some hilarious things that have happened to me over the past couple of months that I think will be pretty substantial skits." The problem is that SNL needs more black people. Keenan would not make a good Kanye. Or Beyoncé, frankly. [AP]
• Love love love this 10 Questions With Tracy Morgan column. When asked, "What are the cast members for 30 Rock like to work with? Tracy answers: "I don't know what they do when they're at home. Tina - she's a mother and a wife. We don't hang out. But at 30 Rock, everybody pretty much gets along. Jack McBrayer, we're very close, and it was an honor to be nominated [for an Emmy] in the same category with him. If he would've won, that means we would've won. If I would've won, that means I would've won. I'm not sharing my award with nobody." Also, his healthcare advice is interesting. [Time]
• Kanye West is "thankful" that a law was named after his mother. The measure will protect people from "unnecessary bodily trauma" that could result from elective cosmetic surgery procedures, if they are not physically fit to undergo surgery. [Radar Online]
• As you may recall, Fox NFL Sunday showed a skit mocking Jessica Simpson's weight. Now Fox says: "Burger King Corp. did not have any editorial input in the creation of the animation that ran last Sunday, and no one from Burger King Corp. approved it before it aired. Upon reflection, our poor attempt at humor was insensitive and we deeply apologize to anyone who might have been offended." [Us Magazine]
• The shitty sound of this dumb video of John Mayer partying in a gay bar nearly blew out my speakers, so beware. [ Radar Online]
• "Howard K. Stern helped Anna Nicole Smith crush, cook, inject Valium, ex-bodyguard testifies." [NY Daily News]
• Maria Shriver has issued an apology for illegally using her cell phone while driving and will donate her favorite old cell phone to the HopeLine program that helps domestic violence shelters. [TMZ]
• Will the editors really choose to put Tara Reid on the December cover of Playboy instead of Kelly Bensimon? [Fox News Pop Tarts]
• Michael Jackson's This Is It is selling out all over the world. [NY Daily News]
• Ew, Mariah Carey calls Nick Cannon "DJ Sex Fingers." As the kids say: Vom. [Page Six]
• "Spike Jonze had ex-girlfriend Karen O of Yeah Yeah Yeahs record Where the Wild Things Are music." She says: "It's the best way to continue the relationship in a professional way." [Gatecrasher]
• Is Kids Incorporated to blame for Fergie's meth habit? She says: "What happens when you're a child professional is that you have to be, well, professional. You're taught not to have tantrums, to always people-please. That's part of how I got into (drugs) later." Hmm. [NY Post]
• So you know how Jimmy Kimmel's girlfriend Molly McNearney works for his show? "Staff members are said to troubled by the romance and the unfair promotions it's earned McNearney." [MSNBC via Radar and Gawker]
• In the David Letterman case, the prosecutor wants to keep search warrants sealed and for a hearing to take place behind closed doors. [E!, AP]
• It's CBS vs. CBS in the David Letterman investigation. [NY Post]
• "Stephen Gately smoked cannabis on the night of his death." [Telegraph]
• Jodie Foster, Mel Gibson and Mel Gibson's beaver were hanging out in a high school in White Plains. [Page Six]
• Jeremy London (Mallrats, Party Of Five) may default on his mortgage unless he pays $12,856.81. [TMZ]
• Andrew Keegan was accused of abusing a former girlfriend, but a judge rejected the woman's request for a restraining order after hearing evidence. [TMZ]
• The Beckhams were named "best modern family" in a random online poll. [Mirror]
• "And I think for Letterman to get up there and say ‘I'm the innocent victim and I had some consensual sex'-and he actually said some interesting things: He used the word ‘creepy'-well, the last time I tried it, consensual sex wasn't creepy." — defense attorney Gerald Shargel, who has represented John Gotti. [The Daily Beast]
• "If I see Brody Jenner, he is dead… [He] has the smallest penis I have ever seen." — Always classy Joe Francis, who apparently has experience with seeing Brody naked? [Page Six]
• "I'm afraid it's because they are good. When [co-star and ex-wife] Connie and I wrote them we took about six weeks to write each episode, which is unheard of. People who care a lot spend 10 days, most people do it in a week. But the fact is, we used to write 135 to 140 pages (per episode) ... There was so much in the shows that people could watch them a lot of times because they would forget the things that are in them ... And secondly, in the character Basil we nailed a certain kind of English lower-middle-class type who people are aware of and who, I think, does exist in quite a lot of people." — John Cleese, on Fawlty Towers. [Reuters]
• "Just as what you are feeling in your life affects your acting, what you act in definitely affects what you are feeling in your life. And whether you want it to or not, and even if you don't know it, it bleeds into your life. I made 'Heat' when I was 14 and played a girl who died. A year later, I got into a fight with my mother and cut myself. I had never done it before and I never did it after that, but I think having my wrists bloody in a movie definitely affected my psyche." — Natalie Portman, whose film New York, I Love You starts Friday. [LA Times]
• "People have told me, 'You could just go out there and play guitar and sing your songs like Paul McCartney,' but I'd be too bored. Most of the joy of the shows is the magic of creating them — theater. I'm a perfectionist. I like hard work. I like to sweat." — Madonna. [Page Six]
• "Listen, I would love to tell you that I was this wonderfully smart and full-of-integrity kinda guy. But at the same time, man, I wanted to get laid. That was a big part of it! This is why I wanted to be different and why I wanted to have power and fame and money: because I wanted to be attractive to the opposite sex. I'd be lying to you if I didn't say that was a big part of it." — Michael Bublé. [Telegraph]

• Jon Gosselin brought his daughter a birthday cake that read, "Happy Birthday Maddy" today. The only problem? Her name is spelled "Mady." But it's not "Johnathon's" fault: Entertainment Tonight ordered the cake for him.

• The owner of Cupcake Cafe in New York says that before Jon Gosselin came in with a TV crew to buy his daughter a birthday cake, she got a call from "a person from 'Entertainment Something,' ordering the cake and asking permission to shoot inside the bakery when Jon came in." Jon started checking out cupcakes in the store and was surprised to learn a cake had already been ordered for him. A rep from Entertainment Tonight says says the show didn't pay for the $94 cake. [TMZ]
• Another court date has been set for Jon and Kate Gosselin after their hearing this week was cancelled when the judge's wife died. They'll appear before an arbitrator, who could order Jon to return the money he took from their joint account. Jon has filed papers claiming Kate is the one who looted the account. Jon has also made a deal with a TV show to allow it to film his kids birthday party today even though he doesn't want them to be filmed on Kate Plus 8. Kate's lawyer says, "I've never seen a greater hallmark for hypocrisy personified." [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin said of Kate Gosselin appearing in a sketch on The Jay Leno Show last night, "It's messed up, the timing." He added, "What she does on TV, that's her career. I'm happy for her career... I hope she can be happy for my career [and] we can have a career on TV, kind of together, but our kids will come off." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Michael Lohan says an intervention is being planned for Lindsay Lohan because she's addicted to prescription medications including Adderall, Zoloft, anti-anxiety drugs, and bi-polar medication. "Over the next couple of weeks I'm going to be doing things in a pretty public way,"says Michael Lohan, "But Dina has got to get on the same page with me. It's a serious situation. You can't just talk about it and tell me that you want to do an intervention and then do nothing." [Radar Online]
• Supposedly Radar Online has proof that Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's wedding wasn't legally binding and Liza Morales, his ex and the mother of his two kids says, "To tell you the truth the whole situation is ‘so out there' and although it still hurts I find it laughable." [Radar Online]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have no plans to go on a honeymoon yet because, "I'm filming, and he has a season until who knows when," says Khloe. [People]
• A police officer testified in the John Travolta case today that Pleasant Bridgewater burned a copy of the extortion document and flushed it down a toilet. [TMZ]
• Angelina Jolie says of her relationship with her formerly estranged father Jon Voight, "We're in contact now and writing letters. My parents gave me a strong social conscience as well as any acting genes I may have." She added that she doesn't want her kids to be raised as, "Children who have 'movie star' parents. I grew up around that myself and I want to make sure ours are removed from it." [The Sun]
• Worldwide Pants says Stephanie Birkitt hasn't been banned from David Letterman's set, she's just on a paid leave of absence. [Extra]
• Joe Halderman, who is accused of trying to blackmail David Letterman, told the paparazzi outside his house that he's "not trying to hide or run, but there's nothing I can say." [TMZ]
• Some Australians are calling Harry Connick Jr. a hypocrite for criticizing a blackface Jackson 5 impersonation on Australian TV last night because they've unearthed a video of Connick impersonating a southern preacher on Mad TV 13 years ago... except Connick isn't playing a black man and isn't wearing blackface. A commenter writes, "If he can get away with that in the US why is a dated and harmless blackface skit on Aussie TV so offensive to him? The man is a hypocrite of the worst kind." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Travis Barker visited the Georgia burn center where he was treated last year after he survived a plane crash. "I'm here to say 'thank you' to everyone who took care of me after the accident," he said. "I was sort of unconscious the last tiem I was here, and I felt like I owed them a big 'thank you.'" [MTV]
• At the link, Method Mad talks to radio personality Big Topper about his time in prison for tax evasion and calls jail, "cool." [Perez Hilton]
• In court yesterday Christie Brinkley and her ex-husband Peter Cook accused each other of violating the terms of their settlement and custody agreements. Cook says, "She is doing everything she can to ruin my relationship with my kids," and Brinkley says he violated their divorce agreement by going on talk shows. [People]
• Peter Andre got into a fight at a hotel bar with Katie' Price's gay friends, who were screaming "childish abuse" at him. [Daily Mail]
• Terry Christian gave La Toya Jackson two unpublished photos of Michael Jackson. Terry said: "I've got two photos for La Toya, one of Michael Jackson and one of the Jackson Five, from my mate in Manchester who was the official photographer on Top Of The Pops for years." [The Mirror]
• A rep for Dr. Phil says he did nothing wrong to the woman who says he held her captive in his offices, forced her to stare at a naked man, and grabbed her breast. He released a statement saying, "Dr. Phil is never alone in the House with any of these guests and all of his interactions are captured on video and/or audio tape. All guests are, of course, free to come and go as they please and once Ms. Dieu expressed her discomfort, and producers ascertained there was nothing they could do to help her, they called a car service to return her to her home." [TMZ]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are in a "race to the alter" ... even though neither is even engaged. [Star]
• Liam Gallagher says, "Oasis is no longer. I think we all know that. So that's done. I know. Without a doubt. And it's a shame, but that's life. We had a good run at it. The thing about Oasis is ... we ended Oasis. No one ended it for us. Which was pretty, kind of ... cool." [The Mirror]
• Jennifer Hudson says of her pregnancy, "David and I were the only people who knew for a long time. I would forget I was pregnant, it was so easy. I didn't have any morning sickness, no cravings either. I just thought, ‘Oh, well, we'll wait until it'll tell on itself.' I didn't show until I was seven months so that made it easy right there." [People]
• Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are back on... but do you care? [People]
• Jon Hamm is featured in the new Reader's Digest in an article called "Tall, Dark, & Wholesome." [ONTD]
• John Cleese says, "I went through a very unpleasant divorce and discovered just how hopeless the American legal system is... For me, most of the things people know me from -Fawlty Towers or A Fish Called Wanda - are things I've been able to write on spec because I had enough money to live. Now I have to pay one million dollars a year until I'm 76. So that means I have to organize my life around earning the first million dollars every year. And the normal sources of income for people like me are drying up. There aren't as many film and TV parts - and you can do interesting documentaries but they don't pay anything. So I'm doing one-man shows and other things." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Valerie Bertinelli says, "I've realized I'm more important than food is. I love a big slice of pizza. But I love myself more. Being thin is about changing the way you think about yourself. It's about saying you deserve to be healthy. In no way have I perfected this eating thing, and I don't know that I ever will. But life is about making progress. It's not about perfection." [People]
• Patrick Stewart told a group of school children that he became interested in acting because going to the movies was an escape from his abusive dad. "My home life wasn't very pleasant, and not fun, so getting out, not being at home, especially to have the opportunity to escape into a fantasy world was bliss," he said. "I hated it when the movie or the Saturday morning ended, and I had to go back to real life. So, in a sense I was being set up for being an actor, for entering this world of make-believe." [The Telegraph]
• Carey Mulligan says of Nick Hornby, who wrote her film An Education, "I'm not surprised, because a lot of the characters he writes in his books, he writes really well. But it is a massive achievement for a male writer to get into the head of a girl of that age and write such a three dimensional lead character. Not a girl who's just an accessory to the story, but actually is the story. It's not surprising because I know how talented he is. I think he did a brilliant job at creating her, being a man and creating this really believable, truthful kind of girl."[Inside Movies]
• "Photo shoots used to make me weep," says Carey Mulligan, "It's easier if I wear something that's not my stuff. It's more of a performance, less about me." [L.A. Times]
• Carey Mulligan says she's adjusting well to being in the United States: "Like, I wish I could say "jackass" and make it sound as cool as an American. I say jackass as, like, [in her British accent] "jahkahs." It just doesn't have the punch. So I've fallen in love with, like, lingo, you know. And New York. I was here for six months last year, and I didn't want to leave then, and this time I don't want to leave. So I don't think I'm going home. I haven't told anyone in London yet." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Peter Sarsgaard says of his character in An Education, who has an affair with a 16-year-old girl, "It didn't seem like he wanted to have sex with her. That was one of my first reactions... I think he actually wants to be her age. I think he thinks he's her age some of the time, and I think he is someone who has a very difficult idea of accepting the circumstances of his own life, and so, like a lot of people-and I mean a lot of people-he is very capable of explaining his life to himself as something that it isn't, and living in a kind of false reality, and living in a bubble of a fantasy. And that's how everybody always ends up doing everything, you know? I mean, there are very few people that wake up every morning and say 'I'm going to do something today that is wrong,' you know? And then go and do it." [Gothamist]

• Late last night, TMZ published a report claiming that Maya Angelou had been taken to the hospital. However, a CNN news editor,Saeed Ahmed, posted on his Twitter page that Angelou's literary agent says the hospital rumors are false. [DetroitFreePress]

• A paparazzi cameraman has filed a police report against Sean Penn, after Penn kicked and hit the cameraman Friday afternoon. [TMZ]
• Video is now available of Lindsay Lohan being booed in Singapore last month. Hopefully things go a bit better for her today at her Ungaro runway debut in Paris. [ONTD]
• "I'm young. I know what it's like. Lots of girls want to dress like me," Lohan says of her advising role at Ungaro, "I always like to ask my friends when I buy stuff, or my sister Aliana who's with me in Paris. I'm doing the same thing here, giving my perspective." [Telegraph]
• Simon Cowell celebrated his 50th birthday last night by throwing a birthday party that reportedly cost 1.6 million dollars. [Radar]
• If you ever meet Kristen Stewart, you might want to avoid asking her about her role as Bella Swan: "I feel so boring because Twilight is literally how every conversation I have these days begins," she says. [People]
• Michael Bay posted a note on his website about the production of Transformers 3 that included a PS stating, "Megan Fox, welcome back." [Radar]
• "Oh, girl. People hated me for that. I didn't think it was a big deal until I realized I was the second most Googled person in the country. It was a brain fart! It was my second or third day on 'The View,' and I just got nervous. Barbara asked me if it was round or flat and I said, 'I don't know, I'm just trying to take care of my kid.'When the show was over Barbara came over and said 'Dear, the Earth is round,' and I said, 'Barbara, I know that!'"-Sherri Shepherd [LATimes]
• John Cleese is planning on paying for his divorce by starring in a one-man show appropriately titled the "How To Finance Your Divorce Tour." [Telegraph]
• Clive Owen makes an effort to balance his movie making schedule with his family life: "It's about making sure if I'm away for a long period doing a movie that I take some downtime. I do that now. I make sure I never do anything too close together so that I'm never away from the kids too much." [WashingtonPost]
• Alexsandra Wright, who is suing Beyonce's father, Matthew Knowles, claiming that he is the father of her child, had a role on an episode of Scrubs in 2001. [TMZ]
• When asked about her engagement to John Krasinski, Emily Blunt deadpanned: "All I can say is that there were flutes playing in the background, butterflies, there were angels showering us with rainbow drops." [MTV]
• "Drew had me in mind, I guess, for this role. She called me, and she's got a gift for enthusiasm when she's on fire about something. Then I read the script, and I was really excited. And then I got on some skates and had to do an audition because I lied - you know, like all good actors do, we lie - that I could skate."- Juliette Lewis on her role in Whip It! [EW]
• More details are coming out about the man accused of attempting to blackmail David Letterman; neighbors and colleagues say that Robert Halderman "must have snapped," as Halderman's actions seem completely out of character. "I am surprised, mystified and stunned to hear these allegations against Halderman," says Dan Rather, who worked with Halderman, "They are almost impossible to believe. He was always a solid character, steady, reliable, and a good, swift writer." [People]
• Joe Simpson says his daughter, Jessica Simpson is learning how to handle the criticism aimed at her body by working on her new show, "She's always scrutinized by the world and [it's great] to watch her go to other countries and see women talk about what is beautiful there. We were just in Uganda, and a beauty ambassador [there] knew Jessica's total story about her weight and blah, blah, blah. [She said] to Jessica that it's about who you are inside, which is the message of our show." [USWeekly]
• Jermaine Jackson says that the series of tribute concerts he's planned in honor of his brother, Michael, are not meant to make money off of Michael's death: "That is the most ridiculous thing ever. It is not about cashing in on what has happened. It is responsibility on all of our parts as brothers and sisters to keep his legacy alive." [ShowbizSpy]
• Olivia Newton-John says she still has her hot pants from the set of Grease: "I can still wear them," she says, "But they're locked away in a cupboard. I only bring them out for special occasions. My husband loves them." [TheSun]
• Blind Item #1: Which reality show star refused to put a house keeper on the books, worked her like a slave and paid her spottily in cash with no regard to her Social Secu rity or her husband, who was being treated for cancer? [PageSix]
• Blind Item #2: Which pouty actress was recently spotted acting like a complete lush? She "got drunk and then threw herself all over a clubowner," according to our spies. [PageSix]
• Blind Item #3: Which soon-to-be married heartthrob forced his wedding guests to sign confidentiality agreements before they got their wedding invitations? [PageSix]
• "My family keep me grounded. I still take the subway and do my own laundry. Well, not all of the time, but I'm not a bitch. I enjoy having a normal life."-Mischa Barton [Mirror]
• "I love that we managed an addition to the narrative of the show … There are some definite new elements to the story of these four people that are now part of the whole story … I thought this would be more of a stunt-type thing, but I feel like this is really part of the series now. I would call this a member in good standing with all the other episodes."-Jerry Seinfeld, on tonight's Seinfeld reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm. [EW]
• "I'm a disaster in the kitchen! You know what my secret is for preparing the perfect meal for friends when I invite them over? It's ordering from the best restaurants and having the food delivered."-Beyoncé [ShowbizSpy]

• Last night, David Letterman revealed that a CBS News employee is accused of trying to extort $2 million from him because he had sexual relationship with female employees.

The guy threatened to write a screenplay and a book about Letterman unless he was given money. Letterman says: "I was worried for myself, I was worried for my family. I felt menaced by this, and I had to tell them all of the creepy things that I had done." [AP]

• CBS is saying Letterman's accused extortionist was an employee at the news program 48 Hours named Robert Halderman, and he was arrested yesterday. [LA Times, Reuters, HuffPo]
• The New York Post is calling the Letterman incident a "sextortion" plot. [NY Post]
• Kanye West and Lady Gaga's "Fame Kills" tour is dead. Canceled before it ever started. Refunds will be made available. [AP]
• A source says the Fame Kills ticket sales "sucked." Lady Gaga may tour, but play smaller venues. [TMZ]
• They're saying Lindsay Lohan poses on a "stripper pole" in ads for her line of leggings, 6126. But that pole looks structural! [NY Daily News]
• Jon Gosselin says he had "no idea" he was being fired, and that he "found out just like everybody else … saw it on a laptop as an [Associated Press] newswire." His lawyer also says that Jon was going to "pull the plug" on the show weeks before TLC fired him. [People]
• Even though Jon has blocked the TLC crews from coming to the house, Kate Gosselin says: "Jon has never expressed any concerns to me about our children being involved in the show, and, in fact, is on the record as saying he believes the show benefits our children." [Gatecrasher]
• There's a Billboard cover story on Beyoncé, which reveals that she grossed some $53.5 million on her I Am… tour; she was the star and executive producer of the 2009 film Obsessed, which opened at No. 1 and has grossed more than $68.3 million in North America; the Knowles family has donated more than $2.5 million for transitional housing for Hurricane Katrina victims and storm evacuees in the Houston area; Beyoncé works with Feeding America to deliver more than 3.5 million meals to local food banks through fan donations; and, her father says: "Most people don't know this, but she's a really good painter." [ONTD via Billboard]
• WAIT WHAT?!?!? Liza Minnelli will do Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" in Sex And The City 2?!?!? Crap. Now that's something I want to see. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Simon Cowell's 50th birthday party — being held tomorrow at a mansion in Hertfordshire called Wrotham Park (it looks gorgeous!) — will have scantily clad showgirls and boys; tons of flowers; lots of food and cocktails; a smoker's tent; and performances by Rat Pack impersonators, Leona Lewis and maybe Lily Allen. Expect Kate Moss, Kylie Minogue, Donald Trump and possibly Paula Abdul to attend. [Daily Mail]
• Headline Of The Day: "Britney Spears Buys A Parakeet." [People]
• Britney's traveling aliases: Ms. Alotta Warmheart; Mrs. Diana Prince; Queen of the Fairy Dance and Mrs. Abra Cadabra. [Page Six]
• Weird: New York magazine's Emma Rosenblum sat next to Spencer Pratt when she attended a taping of The View yesterday. She writes: "So here are some facts about Spencie that you probably don't want to know, but I will tell you anyway: That necklace he's wearing is made of crystals, and he wears it to protect himself from evil. He has a 200-pound crystal from Peru in his house, which he had excavated and flown in specially. He's very proud of it. He laughs very loudly at anything that's semi-funny." [NY Mag]
• Since the Michael Jackson autopsy shows that the singer was healthy, it could be used against Dr. Conrad Murray: "It clearly establishes that Michael Jackson was a healthy person whose death appears to have been directly caused by the administration of some very powerful sedatives," says criminal defense attorney and former federal prosecutor Mark Werksman. "This autopsy report seems to clear the path for a prosecution that his death was caused by an overdose." [AP]
• "CBS anchor Katie Couric yesterday kicked back at her critics saying she thought the word 'gravitas' — the characteristic she is often accused of lacking — was 'Latin for testicles.'" [NY Post]
• Jay-Z and Alicia Keys: Shot a video at the Empire State Building on Wednesday. [Gatecrasher]
• Lil' Wayne will go on trial next March stemming from the January 2008 incident in which authorities found cocaine, Ecstasy and a handgun on his tour bus. [USA Today]
• Kate Hudson has bonded with Alex Rodriguez's daughters, Natasha and Ella. She's not doing as well with the Yankees, the players wives or girlfriends. [MSNBC Scoop via In Touch]
• Oliver Hudson and wife Erin Bartlett are expecting their second child. [NY Daily News]
• "Mary-Louise Parker certainly isn't ashamed of her new romance with singer Charlie Mars." Why should she be? [Page Six]
• Even though Randy and Evi Quaid have paid their bill for their stay at the San Ysidro Ranch, they still face the charges of burglary, conspiracy and defrauding an innkeeper. Court date: October 19. [TMZ]
• The Tate Modern museum in London has a "Pop Life" exhibit, and director McG hooked up with Takashi Murakami for a four-minute film starring actress Kirsten Dunst singing a cover of "Turning Japanese." Click the link for an insanely colorful picture: Kiki's wearing a bright blue wig! [WSJ]
• "A lawyer for John Travolta testified Thursday that he warned a former Bahamas senator she would not get away with an alleged scheme to extort $25 million from the movie star, and even wore a wire to secretly record their conversations." [AP, TMZ]
• No one likes Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Peter Sellars' production ofOthello at NYU's Skirball Canter: Audiences have been leaving in droves at intermission. [Page Six]
• "Michael Moore, champion of the working class, used non-union stagehands to film Capitalism: A Love Story." [Page Six]
• In a video at the link, Mary Forsberg Weiland talks about her memoir, Fall To Pieces: A Memoir Of Drugs, Rock 'N Roll, And Mental Illness. She talks about the modeling world, being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and how she and Stone Temple Pilots/Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland did heroin and cocaine together. The book contains an anecdote about a Fourth of July party at Leonardo DiCaprio's house in Malibu, where the Weilands arrived in long-sleeved turtlenecks to hide needle tracks and scabs. [Blabbermouth]
• "Workers at an Arizona cryonics facility mutilated the frozen head of baseball legend Ted Williams - even using it for a bizarre batting practice, a new tell-all book claims." [NY Daily News]
• "John Cleese takes a goose-step backwards with one-man show to fund £12million divorce." [Daily Mail]
• "Fame… It kind of kills the humanity and the humility of music for some reason. You're like this product all of a sudden and you have to stay in this Superman costume with people telling you that if you cut your hair, your career is over." — Maxwell, who no longer rocks the giant Afro he once did. [Washington Post]
• "Women don't like the humor when it's combined with inconsideration and insensitivity." — Larry David, on his dating life. [LA Times]
• "There are people that I want to work with but I'm too intimidated. There are a few people that I'd be worried about working with — the greats: Jack Nicholson, Scorsese and Clint Eastwood. So there are still people out there who intimidate me. I think they would catch me out finally. I've got away with murder until now and they would blow that."— Ricky Gervais. [Mirror]
• "I don't think of myself as a typical comedian. I'm just a normal bloke who says things he observes. I don't even really tell jokes with punch lines. But people seem to connect." — Ricky Gervais. [USA Today]
• "One of the things I like about this movie is that my character, for example, is made up all the time. She always looks cute. So she's cute and covered in tats and willing to punch people while wearing dresses and cute shoes. The merging of that: you can be a strong, rough-and-tumble woman, but still be a woman. All of that can be bundled into one. That's definitely a lesson that I currently have been learning the last couple years myself, so it spoke volumes to me." — Whip It's Zoë Bell. [BoxOffice.com]
• Your name is on fans' dream team list for Ridley Scott's prequel to Alien. "Wouldn't that be awesome!? That absolutely has to happen. There was an article where someone CGIed my head onto Sigourney Weaver's body. It's kind of creepy, but I liked it. I sent it to my people and was like, 'Make this happen!' That'd be so sick! That's the kind of stuff I would like to do. Linda Hamilton in Terminator and Sigourney Weaver in Alien-those are the kind of roles we don't have enough of." — Zoë Bell. [BoxOffice.com]
• "I am a hippie girl with anger issues, I get it…" And: "I was so obsessed with happy endings in my 20s. In my 30s, I'm like, a good day is a good day." And: "I do a very serious, disciplined, mature job. That said, I love to go get plastered with my friends on a Saturday night and let it go, but… I'm up on Monday morning at 6 a.m. and I don't stop for seven days straight." — Drew Barrymore. [The Daily Beast]
• "The bride will fight again!" — Quentin Tarantino says he intends to make Kill Bill 3. [Page Six]
• "I think my acting is offensive!" — Lauren Conrad. [People]
• "I just put on a 'Snuggie' and ate a popsicle." — Miley Cyrus, who has strep throat two weeks before her world tour. [NY Daily News]

• Nene of Real Housewives Of Atlanta has written an autobiography called Never Make The Same Mistake Twice. She gets real snippy about her "friend" Kim Zolciak, saying:

"I'm not sure if she's been clinically diagnosed, but I'm convinced that if she were to lie down on a doctor's couch, a psychiatrist could surmise within minutes that Kim is a wack job. [Kim] without question [is] the most superficial person I have ever come across in my life. If Kim doesn't have labels and nice cars and an expensive home, she will literally die ... gag me with two spoons." [Gatecrasher]

• Unsolicited uterus update: Celine Dion is pregnant with her second child, and this report states that she "conceived with the help of a team of fertility doctors." [Montreal Gazette]
• Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart went to a Kings Of Leon show and nuzzled, cuddled, and just generally had some close contact. All together now: ZOMG Twilight is real. [MSNBC]
• The Brad-Pitt-is-a-pot-connoisseur rumors persist; this time Quentin Taratino claims Pitt pulled out a brick of hash when they were in France to discuss making Inglourious Basterds. [Perez]
• So you know how Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart are naked on video with another chick? Dane and Gayheart are planning to sue. [TMZ]
• Eric Dane's lawyer says: "Although the participants are nude, the tape is not a 'sex tape.'" [People]
• Eric Dane and Kari Ann Peniche, the third woman on the video, both say they did not have sex with each other. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan didn't look happy to see her father at an event Saturday night. When questioned about it, she said: "I'm closer to my mother." And! Michael Lohan has backed off of his intense criticism of Samantha Ronson: "I was misled by people who had their own agenda," he says. "I was wrong and I'm very sorry. I wish the best for them." [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman has some pretty choice quotes in this E! interview. She says: "I have lost my happiness through this all… I've been the sacrificial lamb in this situation." And! She calls TLC "the lying channel." On Kate Major: "Cuckoo, cuckoo," She also says: "It's a dirty, dirty world. Bamboozling, this world. I didn't know any of this would happen. If I wanted fame, don't you think I would be out all the time? I stay in my house. I've been staying home with my parents because I feel safe there." [E!]
• Paula Abdul is in "talks" about returning to American Idol. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Reports that Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron are engaged: Not true. [Mirror]
• Blair Waldorf Leighton Meester seen dancing on a table. [Page Six]
• Ugly Betty cutie Mark Indelicato, 15 (he plays Justin) showed designer Carolina Herrera some sketches for a denim line he's planning to create during a tour of her showroom. She offered him an internship on the spot. [Gatecrasher]
• The creepy character charged with attempting to stalk Miley Cyrus — and who told a cop he was "secretly engaged" to marry her — will be in court today. [AP]
• Amy Winehouse is packing up the weavehive and heading to Miami, where she'll finally finish her third album. If the U.S. lets her in, that is. [The Sun]
• Uh-oh: Katherine Jackson is thinking about filing a wrongful death suit concerning son Michael Jackson. Target of the lawsuit? Dr. Conrad Murray. [TMZ]
• "Heath Ledger's Joker 'exacerbates stereotypes about mental health'…
  Heath Ledger's Oscar-winning depiction of the Joker in the latest Batman film gives the public the wrong impression of people with mental health problems, charities have warned." [Telegraph]
• During a U2 concert, Bono called his Bosnian passport one of his most treasured possessions. He got it in 1997 when U2 performed in Sarajevo. Now Bosnia's Council of Ministers would like to take it away. [Telegraph]
• Alaskans are mad at Jewel for canceling shows years ago. She's scheduled to perform there this week, but some residents are holding a grudge, saying she betrayed her state. [AP]
• James McAvoy will star in I'm With Cancer, alongside Seth Rogen, who is producing. [Variety]
• Rapper Bow Wow: officially out of retirement; officially joined the Cash Money record label, home of Lil' Wayne. [Reuters]
• John Cleese's divorce: £12 million settlement. [Telegraph]
• Paul Hogan made a movie and didn't pay his extras, say the extras. [News.com.au]
• Whatshisname wants Whatshername not to use the kids against him. [The Sun]
• Whatshername was voted most annoying celebrity Twitter user. [The Sun]
• "There are many times where even I, at certain points in the evening, after a few drinks, can't pronounce my own surname." — Milla Jovovich. [Daily Express]
• "I love acting with men. I tend to gravitate toward roles in movies where I get to be the only girl." — Zoe Saldana, who appeared in Star Trek and will be in James Cameron's Avatar. [Vanity Fair]
• "Yes, I was a stripper — let the judgments ensue. I'm not ashamed. What difference does it make if I danced or not? Is the sun going to stop shining? Is my past taking food out of your mouth? My son was in private school, his father wasn't chipping in for pull-ups or food, I had no job and no money coming in, the rent was past due, and the super told me and my roommate that our condo owner was about to put us out. It was about survival." — Nene, of Real Housewives Of Atlanta. [Gatecrasher]

• Angelina Jolie, as you may know, was in Baghdad yesterday. Saint Angelina walked through a makeshift settlement where 20,000 displaced Iraqis live, and said:

"It is lacking in all of the basic things that you would need, they don't have. They just started to have clean water. They're sleeping on dirt. They have built these areas out of brick by hand. They don't have job opportunities… We have still many young men and women from our country who are fighting every day, there are men and women from all countries who have lost their lives, and this is a time to try to make some positive change." [CNN]

• Angelina told one man: "It takes a lot of strength for you to survive this life. I don't know if I would be strong enough to survive this." And she vowed that this trip would not be her last: "I want to come back and find you in a better place and in a different situation… You need help not because you are poor, but because you are the future of Iraq." [NY Daily News]
• Gerard Butler doesn't have the body he had in 300, says a source. "He's so embarrassed that his six-pack abs have gone, he works out wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses." [Page Six]
• "Mischa's Shocking Interview," filmed a few days before she was taken to the hospital, is not shocking at all. She is talking about fashion and appears very normal. Unless that is shocking? [The Sun]
• Spotted: Tom Cruise out dancing with David and Victoria Beckham. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse in court: "I'm probably 5 foot 2 inches to 3 inches tall… But my hair does make a difference." She claims she was wearing flats (ballet slippers, obvs) and could not have hurt the 5 foot 7 woman who claims Amy punched her. [NY Post]
• …And presto! Amy Winehouse has been acquitted of assault. [AP]
• Here's what happens: Kate Major was a reporter, then she "fell for" Jon Gosselin, now other reporters are digging up dirt about her past, like the time she fell down the stairs at a party and loves to drink. [Radar]
• "Jon Gosselin's new girlfriend Kate Major has always sought fame, sees him as meal ticket: insiders." [Gatecrasher]
• Footage of New Moon debuted at Comic-Con yesterday and it "played in part like a matchup of dueling abs." [EW]
• Robert Pattinson seems to have settled in to his new, insane fame: "I pretty much live an almost identical life apart from being recognized," he says. "That's not exactly the worst thing in the world." [People]
• Twilight peeps say Robert and Kristen Stewart have "incredible chemistry." OMG just like the movie! [People]
• More from Comic-Con: Kristen Stewart said, "Uh, I can't wait to get pregnant," in reference to Breaking Dawn. Robert Pattinson added: "I can't wait to perform the Caesarean!" [E!]
• Kate Hudson is a "good luck charm" for boyfriend Alex Rodriguez. [Gatecrasher]
• Megan Fox's rep says Megan Fox never turned down a James Bond movie. "The report about Megan Fox turning down a Bond movie is completely not true. There have been no discussions nor any offers. Megan is a fan of the Bond movies." [People]
• Check out her new AT&T commercials (video at the link) and see how relentlessly fierce Mary J. Blige is. [BrandWeek]
• Michelle Trachtenberg will be working on a new show, Mercy, but she'll still be doing Georgina on Gossip Girl, saying: "Georgina's not going anywhere… She's never gonna die. There's nothing you can do to kill her. It's like one of those horror movies where they're like, 'She's dead,' and then she wakes back up and is like, 'No, I'm not.'" [NY Mag]
• Trachtenberg's "Blacklist" is pretty hilarious: "4. People who refer to themselves in the third person. Michelle thinks that's ridiculous." [BlackBook]
• Twelve-year-old Prince Jackson is "traumatized," as he was the one child who witnessed the doctor's unsuccessful attempts at resuscitation on his father. [Daily Mail]
• This report claims Michael Jackson pleaded for drugs because he had insomnia. [Mirror]
• Katherine Jackson was financially dependent on Michael Jackson and has asked a judge to provide an allowance for Michael's three kids (out of the estate) due to an "urgent need." Court documents claim that Katherine has only "extremely modest" Social Security benefits. [People]
• Oh, God. "Michael Jackson wore a prosthetic nose, according a report — and it was missing from his surgically mangled face as he lay in an LA morgue." [NY Post]
• Demi Moore is suing an Australian magazine for printing a series of photo booth-style photographs, which Demi owned and did not give permission to be published. In the pix? Demi, Rumer Willis, Orlando Bloom, P. Diddy, Cameron Diaz and Amanda De Cadenet. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• A judge has awarded Kelis a whopping $55,000 a month in combined spousal and child support from estranged husband Nas. [TMZ]
• Hmm, this report says Nas will pay $40,000. [People]
• Solange cut her hair and people are freaking the fuck out. [People]
• Bono has invested in the smartphone maker Palm, but is doing commercials for BlackBerry. [NY Post]
• Cailtin Moran on Kendra Wilkinson getting married at the Playboy Mansion and referring to Hef as a "father figure": "Because if there's one thing that holding your wedding in the building that has come to represent licentiousness, misogyny, exploitation and cheap nylon split-crotch panties at the breakfast table, it's referring to the soft pornographer who was 'intimate' with you all those years as 'Dad.'" [Times of London]
• Someone really wants you to keep watching Drop Dead Diva: Upcoming guest stars include Liza Minnelli, Paula Abdul, Tim Gunn, Delta Burke, Jorja Fox and more. [Pop Wrap]
• Jerry Hall will be nude on stage in Calendar Girls on London's West End, and says she is "terrified." "Nudity is always terrifying, even now… And yes, I have to admit I've been trying to eat less. I've been doing yoga classes with some girls in Richmond and eating lots of salads. The nudity scene is brilliantly comic — I was roaring with laughter when I saw it — but I'm worried about whether the buns are going to cover my breasts." [Daily Mail]
• This item is about John Lennon's penis. [Page Six]
• Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler: Still on. [Page Six]
• John Cleese is being treated for inflammation of the prostate gland — and will miss the Just For Laughs festival in Montreal, Canada. [The Sun]
• Eddie Van Halen: Recovering from hand surgery. [Rolling Stone]
• "I started smoking when I was 24, because I'm an idiot. I don't enjoy it so much now, because I've become such a slave to it. I hate planning my life around when I'm getting a cigarette." — Katherine Heigl. [Daily Mail]
• "I just loathe homophobia. It's just disgusting and animal and stupid and it's just thick people who can't get their heads around it and are just scared. I grew up around gay people entirely. I was the only child in my class who had any experience of homosexuality or anything like that." — Daniel Radcliffe, who looks pretty cute on the cover of gay magazine Attitude. [The Sun]
• "One day, sure, but pregnancy scares me. I know I'll be one of those women who looks pregnant all over the body. I'll get fatter and fatter from my toes up." — Katherine Heigl, when asked if she will have kids some day. [Daily Mail]
• "In a way it's good, but I also don't want people thinking of me as this blond heiress… airhead. But that is kind of my brand. I make a lot of money by doing that. I always looked up to Princess Diana and all these women, and now I could never be like that. I want to have a family. I want to be normal. I want to be happy." — Paris Hilton, on the "character" she invented. [Yahoo News via E!, E!]
• "I'm playing Speckles, the mole, and he's an outsider. He's an iconoclast — he doesn't fit in… I'm comfortable with the mole, yeah. I mean, yeah, he's different, he's got issues, you know? I don't want a perfect character, I want a character who has, as strange as it sounds, some humanity, some flaws, some needs. But to be fair, I'm not in a lot of this movie. This is Darwin's movie, um Sam Rockwell and Penelope Cruz's movie — they're the stars. I'm only in it at the beginning and the end." — Nicolas Cage on his role in G-Force. Yes, that is the guinea pig movie. [CNN]
• "I'm probably 20% atheist and 80% agnostic. You'll either find out or not when you get there. Until then, there's no point thinking about it." — Brad Pitt. [Gatecrasher via Bild]

• A rep for Chastity Bono—the child of Sonny and Cher—confirms that Bono is in the initial stages of transitioning from female to male.

"Yes, it's true — Chaz, after many years of consideration, has made the courageous decision to honor his true identity. It is Chaz's hope that his choice to transition will open the hearts and minds of the public regarding this issue, just as his 'coming out' did nearly 20 years ago. We ask that the media respect Chaz's privacy during this long process as he will not be doing any interviews at this time." [TMZ]

• But that won't stop TMZ from hypothesizing about what Bono is going through right now. [TMZ]
• Real Housewives of New Jersey's Jacqueline Laurita gave birth to an 8 lbs., 8 oz. baby boy named Nicholas Thursday morning. No word on whether or not he's read Cop Without a Badge yet. [Us]
• An independent autopsy of David Carradine's body, requested by his family, concluded that the actor did not commit suicide. [Breitbart]
• Dr. Michael Baden, the guy from all those HBO autopsy shows, is the one who performed the examination. [TMZ]
• Nicolas Cage felt it was important enough to released an official statement alerting people that he did not hire a Voodoo Priestess to break a hex on the set The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Cage said, "I don't know why tabloids don't call up and ask before they print this gobbly gook." Maybe because you use words that sound like the name of a candy Hogwarts students could purchase in Diagon Alley, thus confirming an interest in dark arts? [NY Mag]
• Miley Cyrus is "devastated" over her breakup with model Justin Gaston, as her Tweets—"Tears are words the heart can't express"—would indicate. [Daily Express]
• But not that devastated. Miley and Nick Jonas are back on, as evidenced by blurry photos of them jet skiing together in Georgia. That's the most fun she'll ever have between her legs as long as she's with that guy. [Perez Hilton]
• Paris Hilton got over her breakup with Doug Reinhardt—real fast—with the help of a hookup with Cristiano Ronaldo. [TMZ]
• Does Rihanna have a new boyfriend? She's been seen hanging out with Canadian rapper Aubrey "Drake" Graham a bunch for the past month. I thought "Aubrey" was a girl group girl's name.[People]
• Before she was fired from her position as Miss California USA, Carrie Prejean was offered a spot on I'm a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! The producers of the show promised her $70,000 if she stayed for one week and $140,000 if she stayed for all three weeks. A pageant exec turned the offer down for her. [TMZ]
• Kyle MacLachlan is considering leaving Desperate Housewives to be a stay-at-home-dad. [Daily Express]
• John Cleese is recovering from eye surgery, and uplifted by well-wishers. [Daily Express]
• Television actor Johnny Palermo—once a regular on the Nickelodeon series Just for Kicks—was killed this week, along with his girlfriend, in a car accident in L.A. He was 27. [UPI]
• Martha Stewart's lynx Himalayan cat Mozart passed away. He was 19. [TMZ]
• My Name Is Earl is finally dead. A statement issued by producers said they "could not make the economics work without seriously undermining the artistic integrity of the series." [NY Mag]
• Yoko Ono was given a lifetime achievement award at the Mojo magazine awards in London, for changing "music as we know it in her own right." [BBC]
• A bunch of Austrian's are already pissed off about Bruno, in which Sacha Baron Cohen plays a gay fashion journalist who wants to be "the most famous Austrian since Hitler," saying it poses a threat to Austria's world image. Their lack of a sense of humor seems a lot more damaging. [Telegraph]
• While watching He's Just Not That Into You at home alone last night, Lily Allen had a Bridget Jones moment when she Tweeted, "I think I may be alone forever. Sad." [The Sun]
• Smug-marrieds Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz were recently photographed for NOH8, a campaign supporting efforts to overturn Proposition 8. [E!]
• A ruling from Malawi's highest court—on whether or not Madonna is allowed to adopt a 3-year-old Malawian girl—is expected Friday. [Yahoo]
• Perhaps because he knows the world wouldn't feel right if he went an entire week without being arrested, Pete Doherty was arrested last night. This time the charges were for drunk driving, driving without a license, and drug possession. [The Sun]
• Defending his seemingly drunk, early-morning live television interview yesterday, Danny DeVito said, "I was only trying to make a TV interview fun." [Radar]
• Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston did not have a secret hotel rendezvous, as reported on the cover of Star. Doye. [Us]
• Woody Allen ducked out of his own party for his latest film Whatever Works after only a few minutes. [Daily Beast]
• Kanye West admits that there is one person in the world who dresses better than he does: Lady Gaga. [NY Mag]
• Ticket sales for Les Miserables in London's West End have gone up 46% since Susan Boyle's star-making performance of "I Dreamed A Dream" during the first round of Britain's Got Talent. [Telegraph]
• A New Jersey woman— Jamie Czerniawski—who was once featured on the show Wife Swap stabbed her husband with a kitchen knife. She says it was in self-defense. Czerniawski is currently out on $75,000 bail. [AP]
• Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth are big Gossip Girl fans, and they like that the kids on the show get good grades. [NY Mag]
• Kevin Smith is taking his stand-up/Q&A show to Carnegie Hall. Silent Bob Speaks: An Evening With Kevin Smith is on June 17. [Newsweek]
• "I have to either have a baby or get engaged. I can't just be happy and have a great boyfriend and travel the world. Those things are not fantastic enough for people." - Jennifer Love Hewitt discussing how the tabloids view her relationship with boyfriend Jamie Kennedy. [E!]
• "I think women are afraid to say that they don't want children because they're going to get shunned. But I think that's changing too now. I have more girlfriends who don't have kids than those that do. And honestly? We don't need any more kids. We have plenty of people on this planet." - Cameron Diaz. [ONTD]

• The National Enquirer claims that Mel Gibson sat his kids down and informed them that his Russian girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is pregnant with his child, and they aren't too happy about it.

• "In late April, Mel gathered his children at the family home in Malibu and broke the news that Oksana is pregnant, and he expects them to accept the baby as a new sibling," said a friend but, "They are quite upset. Even though Mel assured them the pregnancy was unplanned, they're furious with him and say they're going to take steps to protect their inheritance, which they feel is in jeopardy." [The National Enquirer]
• Kate Winslet is suing the U.K. newspaper Daily Mail for £150,000 over an article that claimed she lied about how little she needs to work out to stay in shape. She claims they are guilty of libel because she really doesn't go to the gym. [BBC]
• Sam Mendes and Kevin Spacey are working on the Bridge Project, a British/American action company that will perform the works of Shakespeare and Chekhov on tour. [The Telegraph]
• In an upcoming tell-all book, Lance Armstrong writes that he broke up with fiance Sheryl Crow because she wanted kids. "She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn't want that, but I didn't want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I'd just had kids. Yet we're up against her biological clock - that pressure is what cracked it," he said. "Because if somebody wants a child - man, that's the greatest gift you can give to a woman - so who are you to stand there and say I don't want one. So we were at different points in our lives. We were not compatible on that issue." [The Daily Express]
• Fashion designer Jack McCollough needed surgery after Kiefer Sutherland allegedly headbutted him. "Mr. McCollough suffered a broken nose in three places as a result of the assault," his rep said. "He received medical treatment last night after consulting with physicians." A source said McCollough, "had to have his nose reset. It's painful and it felt horrible." [People]
• Dina Lohan is defending her parenting skills, claiming that Ali Lohan doesn't just party with her sister Lindsay all day. "Ali is in a home-schooling program. She has never been pulled out of school," Dina says. "It's the same home-schooling program that Lindsay was in since the tenth grade. It's a wonderful program that many celebrities are enrolled in." [People]
• Sarah Palin supports Carrie Prejean and called her to offer support, according to Miss California's father, William Prejean. Prejean added that he's not gay, contrary to reports, but "The gay and lesbian community has been supportive of Carrie," he says, "Everyone comes up to Carrie and says, 'We may not agree with you, but we respect you for what you say and these individuals do not.' And they're very emphatic. 'Do not represent the gay and lesbian community.' " [E!]
• The Miss California pageant's state directors Keith Lewis and Shanna Moakler rallied a group of beauty queens to film a commercial promoting the diversity of California, but Carrie Prejean said she had a "prior personal commitment otherwise she would have been glad to participate." [Fox News]
• Earlier this week Shanna Moakler posed with two other former pageant titleholders, with duct tape over theirs mouths for a pro-gay marriage PSA promoting equal rights and NO on California's Prop 8. Moakler said of the new Miss California diversity ad, "I think it's really important that people understand that though Carrie Prejean is allowed to have her opinions, they don't necessarily coincide with the Miss California Organization." [Perez Hilton]
• The Mexico City premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine was postponed due to swine flu, but now Hugh Jackman Tweets: "I will bring Wolverine to Mexico City on May 26 to provide a moment of fun escapism and a treat for some of the loyal fans of the comic ... My thoughts and prayers have been with all of those that have suffered directly or indirectly from the swine flu in Mexico." [E!]
• A source claims that Natalie Portman is the reason Sean Penn filed for divorce from Robin Wright Penn, and that they're still seeing each other. "She stimulates him in ways no other person has, mentally or professionally," says a source. "There's a lot more there with Natalie than any of the other girls Sean's been with." [Star]
• Random people who live near Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 think that she may have been cheating too. "I heard Kate was getting way too close with her personal trainer, so Jon started cheating," Trisha Berlin, a fellow Pennsylvanian said. Kate has also been linked to her bodyguard, who bloggers call "Mr. Gray." [Star]
• Candy Spelling wrote on the Huffington Post, "I'm not feuding with my daughter [Tori Spelling]. She just doesn't speak to me. And, she's a good marketer." It's not really the best step for a woman who says she wants to finally "mesh" with her daughter. [The Huffington Post]
• David Beckham is denying rumors that he had a dinner date with Hungarian model Mariann Fogarasy. Beckham said: 'Ninety per cent of what is written about us is invented. The last one was this story about the Hungarian model, I have never been out to dinner with this young lady.'I do not flirt with other women - I exist only for Victoria." [The Daily Mail]
• Sacha Baron Cohen bleached his body hair for Bruno and discovered that he is severe allergic to peroxide and required medical treatment. [People]
• Apparently that included bleaching his anal hair. He couldn't sit for days. [TMZ]
• Sienna Miller wrote on The Huffington Post about her trip to the Congo for International Medical Corps. [The Huffington Post]
• Deborah Gibson is trying to get fans to campaign to get her on Dancing With The Stars. She Tweeted: "DWTS won't cast me cuz I did skating show!? I didn't produce it - just on it! Did u guys know that? Start a petition!!!!" [Perez Hilton]
• Whitney Houston is recording a new album. [Perez Hilton]
• John Cleese says alimony payments to his ex-wife Alyce Faye Eichelberger are preventing him from finishing the A Fish Called Wanda musical. II think we've got some very good ideas now but one of the problems is I can't settle down to write it until I've earned enough money to do that because there is no money being paid to me for doing it," he said.
  "Otherwise you lose control of it artistically and I do still have to find £1 million a year in alimony, so I have to earn that before I get started. So I will get down to it when I've done that." [The Daily Mail]
• Did Jaime Hince of The Kills disappear from his tour to spend time with girlfriend Kate Moss? His bandmate was so worried about him she posted an alert on her Facebook page. [The Daily Mail]
• Tori Amos says her new album Abnormally Attracted To Sin is inspired by the financial crisis. She said, "The world has changed completely, it seems, in the past two years. The world that we all knew before, could wake up in feeling safe, ... now it seems that everything has been turned upside down," [Reuters]
• Coldplay drummer Will Champion says of the recent accusations that the band plagiarized Viva La Vida, "It's tough when people accuse you of stealing something when you know that you didn't. So, we accept that it's part of the territory and know it is only for some reason, God only knows why, the successful songs that seem to be the ones that are accused of being stolen. So, you go figure it out." [Rolling Stone]
• Rachel Weisz would like us to know we're mispronouncing her name. "In America everyone says it wrong. It's V-I-C-E. I learned to be polite. I have been here for eight years, but now I am going to start correcting people." [N.Y. Magazine]
• The main lodge at the Soldier Mountain Ski Resort, which is owned by Bruce Willis, will be rebuilt after a March 30 fire. [Yahoo]
• Amy Winehouse is scheduled to perform today at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival, her first appearance in about eight months. [People]
• Gretchen Wilson says she wants to make up with her mother. "As far as I know things are going a lot better with her life than they were previously," said Wilson. "And so I'm thinking that this Mother's Day, we might reconnect." [AP]
• Kendra Wilkinson says her fiancé Hank Baskett will cry at their wedding. "I'm a crier," Wilkinson said. "I laugh. Whenever I feel like crying I'll laugh to overpower it. So I'll be laughing on the way down [the aisle] because I'll see Hank crying," she continued. "I know he'll cry. When I get to him, that's when I'll cry." [E!]
• Christina Applegate is the 2009 Ambassador for Lee National Denim Day to support the fight against breast cancer. [People]
• Jimmy Fallon left the College of St. Rose in Albany in 1995 one semester short of graduation. At commencement this weekend he will receive his diploma and speak at the college. [Yahoo]
• Sex and the City co-star Mario Cantone says of Sarah Jessica Parker's soon-to-be born twin girls, "I'm thrilled for her! She has definitely wanted to have a girl ... She's going to have so much fun bringing the two girls up and teaching them to be young ladies." [People]
• Lane Garrison has been released from rehab. "He stayed at the facility for a couple of hours," says a source. "Because of the work he did as a substance-abuse program leader while he was incarcerated, they said he had already served his time in regards to rehabilitation so it would be redundant considering the work that he had already completed." The courts don't agree, and his has another two to three years of parole left. [ E!]
• Today, after receiving an honorary doctorate of humane and musical letters from the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, Dolly Parton said, "Just think, I am Dr. Dolly!" [AP]
• Brody Jenner has confirmed that Kristen Cavallari is joining The Hills, if anyone cares. [ZackTaylor.ca]
• This article about "What happened when a famous rockstar's 'model' daughter threw a strop on set..." is like a 300 world blind item, but it's Friday, and we're too tired to figure out who it is. [The Daily Mail]
• The White Stripes haven't split up and Jack White says new material won't be, "too far off. Maybe next year." [Rolling Stone]
• Paris Hilton is on vacation with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, but she keeps posting pictures of the two making out on Twitter with captions like, "My smooches from a secret island." Warning: close up shots of the two making out at the link. [The Sun]
• Gwyneth Paltrow has put a session with her personal trainer Tracy Anderson up for auction on eBay to benefit Clear Water Initiative, a charity that provides clean water to poor areas. [The Daily Express]
• Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour is holding a concert at a secret location on May 24 to raise money for the charity Crisis. Fans will be told the location via text message the day before. [The Daily Express]
• Sandra Bullock says since marrying Jesse James in 2005, "I've had to learn a hard lesson in that I'm not allowed to open car doors anymore," Bullock says. "It was so hard for me to allow someone to take care of me. It's not because I can't take care of myself. But Jesse was like, 'Just let me do this.'" [People]
• Daniel Radcliffe has been hanging out with Our Lady J., who the UK papers have called a drag queen. She said, "I have no comment on Daniel, except that we support each other as artists. And I'd like to clarify that I'm not a Dolly-Parton-impersonating drag queen: I am a singing/songwriting/piano-playing woman (of transexual experience, if you must). And I happen to be a very powerful witch, so don't fuck with me fellas!" [Popnography]
• In a recent interview porn star Sasha Grey said she wanted to drape herself in a Palestinian flag, go on The Howard Stern Show and confront the shock jock for being "a closet racist." She claims she was joking, but Howard Stern is insulted that she called him a racist and said, "For the most part, I really don't want to hear a porn star try to prove how intelligent [she is] and her porn is a political statement. I mean, that just sounds absurd to me." He continued, "What a genius. I'm going to sit there and listen to this. Please. Just tell me how much cock you can suck and how far you can swallow a hot dog. That's what I want to know. I mean, really. How dare you?" [Rolling Stone]

• Rihanna was the big show-stopper at the Met Ball: Celebs cheered when she took the stage to perform. And! At an after-party, guess who RiRi was in deep convo with?

None other than Ms. Anna Wintour. Will someone be gracing the pages of Vogue very soon? [Gatecrasher]

• Have people stopped returning Lindsay Lohan's phone calls? Apparently Pharrell Williams had offered to help her revive her music career, she tells Interview: "He's an amazing guy. He's only been really kind to me whenever I've met him. He said, 'I'd love to make a great record with you, but I want to take you out of all the elements that you're used to. Let's go away. Let's go somewhere nice where you can be focused, and let's make an album there.'" Of course, she hasn't heard from him since and says: "Pharrell, please call me back!" [Daily Express]
• It seems that Kiefer Sutherland did indeed intentionally headbutt Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough, who allegedly knocked over Brooke Shields; Kiefer was coming to Brooke's rescue or something. Met Ball dramz! [TMZ]
• Brooke Shields' rep is saying "nothing happened to her" and "Jack did nothing inappropriate. It's not clear what caused Kiefer to do what he did." [TMZ]
• A source says Kiefer Sutherland "was really drunk and he got accidentally bumped by McCollough. They started arguing and then he just head-butted him." Hmm. Kiefer's been arrested for DUI twice. [Page Six]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Us magazine is confirming that star of Jon & Kate Plus 8 Jon Gosselin, 32, has been having an affair with third grade school teacher Deanna Hummel, 23. [Just Jared]
• Amy Winehouse's dad is kicking "freeloading pals" out of her hotel room in St. Lucia — her two friends Violetta and Thalia were having "all-day boozing sessions" on Amy's dime. A source says: "Amy performs for the first time in ages at the St Lucia Jazz Festival this week. Mitch knows she has to get it right." [The Sun]
• Paula Abdul is saying pain killers are to blame for when she would "get weird." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Madonna is planning a concert in St. Petersburg, Russia, but local authorities are calling it a "natural disaster" and want "guarantees that there will be no blasphemy." Ha! [Page Six]
• Victoria Beckham wears her sunglasses at night. In the rain. [The Sun]
• Excellent news: Mindy Kaling has a new deal with NBC; she'll continue to write for and appear on The Office next season while simultaneously developing a comedy in which she would also star. She says: "This is my first step in a Transformers-style way to take over the whole world." [Variety]
• Holy gray T-shirt! These pictures of Simon Cowell's new £15million mansion which looks over the Hollywood Hills are absolutely stunning. [Daily Mail]
• In a deposition regarding a lawsuit that Paris Hilton didn't do enough to promote 2006 box office bomb Pledge This, Paris says she promoted the flick "any chance I got." Her lawyer says, "She's the single busiest person on the planet." [AP]
• "Robert Pattinson 'baffled' by fans." [Mirror]
• The weight watchers have moved from Jessica and Lindsay to the King of Pop: Michael Jackson has allegedly been warned that he is "too thin" and needs to gain about 20 lbs before his 50 live shows in the UK. [The Sun]
• Details on Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard's wedding! It took place in a cloister of a convent that's a luxury bed and breakfast in Brindisi, Italy; Jake and Reese were there; guests mingled in the garden, which features a pool, wines from the nearby town of Lecce were served. [People]
• Oprah's Twitter stunt of offering everyone in America a free chicken dinner: Newsworthy. [Time]
• Speaking of Ms. Winfrey, you knew this would happen: Susan Boyle will be on Oprah. [Daily Express]
• Yesterday was Chris Brown's birthday; he turned 20 and it was "low-key." [People]
• Mia Farrow is ten days into her hunger strike for Darfur. A few days ago she said: "At this point I don't think about food. I am weaker and I am mostly in bed. I am clear-minded. I sleep less." She also says: "No one voted for President Obama with more excitement and passion than I did, but he's really been lagging and the people of Darfur can't wait." [Guardian]
• Mia Farrow is documenting her fast on YouTube. [Page Six]
• Joel Madden went on a Twitter rant after he and baby Harlow were surrounded by photographers at an airport: "Let me just say shame on any magazine or blog that post pics of us in the miami airport. The photographers were acting like animals. it was the first time i've ever seen my child scared. Not cool for any parent to see. At least in LA they gave us some space. These guys were sticking flashes in her face and bumping in to us and yelling. The most unnecessary force i've ever seen." [Perez]
• Village Voice columnist Michael Musto says Miss California USA once posed with "trannie extraordinaire" Amanda Lepore. He asked Amanda about it, but she says: "I don't remember meeting her. You know how many pictures I take!" Of Carrie Prejean's pageant answer, Ms. Lepore says: "That was stupid. She could never make a career in TV. Gays monopolize everything! She's a dummy! Now she's trying to have churches help her. That doesn't sound promising. But at least she has big tits. She can marry a high roller and have miserable kids that hate her." Musto adds: "All thanks to opposite marriage!" [Village Voice]
• Unfake my heart: A Las Vegas entertainer faces fraud charges for impersonating Toni Braxton. [AP]
• Back in the '90s, Bono wrote a poem about Elvis; it will be broadcast on the UK's Radio 4 on May 13. [The Sun]
• Rachel Weisz will star in an indie political drama, The Whistleblower, which is based on the true story of a female cop from Nebraska who serves as a peacekeeper in post-war Bosnia and exposes a United Nations cover-up of a sex trafficking scandal. [Variety]
• Will Ferrell is in talks to star in a comedy called Neighborhood Watch, directed by the guy who did Wedding Crashers. [Variety]
• Cameron Diaz plays the mother of a sick child in My Sister's Keeper, and although she appears bald in the film, didn't shave her head: She only needed to be bald for one day of shooting. [LA Times]
• Kate Walsh's divorce continues to be a mess. [TMZ]
• Debbie Matenoppoulos will get $3,595 per month in spousal support from her ex, Jay Faires. She currently lives in the couple's home and is responsible for paying all expenses, including the mortgage. [Radar Online]
• Shimmy shimmy ya: Ol' Dirty Bastard will be memorialized in an upcoming documentary and a series of tribute albums, all produced by his cousin Raison Allah Iceman. [Telegraph]
• Blind item! "Which very taken Oscar winner has been sending lots of flowers to a pretty fashion publicist?" [Gatecrasher]
• "There are many duos we wanted to draw from. Something as eccentric as The Odd Couple to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Withnail and I and Laurel and Hardy. It's the kind of friendship you can only have with someone of the same sex, a person you adore but who infuriates you." — Jude Law on the relationship between Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson in Guy Ritchie's new flick Sherlock Holmes. [USA Today]
• "There's tons of stuff in my name. I mean, if I told you how many Facebook pages have my name on it, you wouldn't believe it. But I am going to join Facebook. I've been doing the MySpace thing a long time and I realize a lot of people are doing Twitter, I just don't want to know what people are doing every single second of their day. I find it a little invasive, but people are into it. To each their own. I don't have the desire to send out messages all day long. That's not me. I'd rather be doing something else." — Zach Braff [Time]

• Ladies and gentlemen: Mickey Rourke is reportedly dating Courtney Love, and has been for a few weeks. Somehow this makes perfect sense. [Telegraph]

• Prince Harry needs some sensitivity training, ASAP. He allegedly told a comic named Stephen Amos: "You don't sound like a black chap." Amos says: "I wanted to say, 'How is I supposed to sound?'" Feel free to *headdesk*. [The Sun]
• Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have worked out a custody deal and the kids will be joining Brit while she's on tour. She's going to rent a few homes — in New Jersey and in New Orleans — and K-Fed has the greenlight to stay there in order to minimize travel. It's daddy day care! [Yahoo News via E!]
• Ew, Adnan Ghalib was recently overheard saying: "I still love Britney. I'm her boyfriend. Britney has a beautiful soul. We share something really special. The truth about us will come out eventually, but it's not for me to talk about. I love her." By "dating" does he mean "sending text messages which her dad deletes"? [ONTD]
• Was Leona Lewis the reason Chris Brown and Rihanna were arguing over the weekend? A source says Rihanna saw them flirting… [Star]
• Apparently Rihanna's 911 call is mostly audio of a woman screaming. [Daily Mail]
• Rihanna's grandmother says: "I don't want people to worry. Rihanna is fine and she is doing well." [Nation News]
• Okay, so here's why Chris Brown is being charged for "criminal threats" (a possible nine year sentence) and not domestic violence (four years): He put his hands around Rihanna's neck and said, "I'm going to kill you." [E!]
• You know that Chris Brown is being represented by Mark Geragos, right? The same lawyer who lost Winona Ryder's shoplifting case. He did get Robert Blake acquitted, but he also repped Scott Peterson, who is on death row for killing his wife. [Fox 411]
• The subject of the octuplet mom's resemblance to Angelina Jolie made the cover of OK!. More on this in Midweek Madness. [MSNBC Scoop]
• These "lipstick sculptures" of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie look nothing like them. [Grazia]
• French First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy in on her first trip as a goodwill ambassador for the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria. She's in Burkina Faso today, meeting with mothers and children infected with HIV. [AFP]
• Leonardo DiCaprio was presented with an International Green Award by none other than Mikhail Gorbachev yesterday. What did you do? [Gatecrasher]
• Prepare yourself: Madonna and Demi Moore are teaming up to co-host an Oscar party. Do you have to be a foxy older lady to get in? [E!]
• By the by: Madonna's Sticky & Sweet summer tour in Europe is already all sold out. [Perez]
• Robert Downey Jr goes off on a shrub, a la Christian Bale, sorta. [Reelz Channel]
• For crying out loud, can't Jessica Simpson have a couple of beers without people writing that she didn't "seem too concerned about her weight" ?!?!?! [Page Six]
• Osbournes: Reloaded is the new variety/comedy show from The Osbournes, and there's a video preview up now. Pranks, sketches and weird dares, all with adorable accents! [Rolling Stone]
• Diablo Cody's United States Of Tara has been picked up for a second season. [Variety]
• Angela Bassett wants to play Michelle Obama, not that there's a movie in the works or anything. [Telegraph]
• Federal prosecutors want a judge to revoke Joe Francis's bail as he awaits trial; he's on house arrest, but that means he gets to watch Girls Gone Wild DVDs right? [AP]
• Forbes has named "Hollywood's Most Bankable Stars" and Will Smith is number one. Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio follow closely, and Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are right behind. [Reuters]
• Daniel Dae Kim, aka Jin from Lost, is spilling secrets: The Smoke Monster will be unveiled! [AP]
• Yay! Ugly Betty is thisclose to getting renewed for a fourth season. Raise your hand if you need more Wilhelmina, Marc and Amanda in your life. [EW]
• Kevin James, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and David Spade may star in a comedy about five best friends from high school who reunite 30 years later on a Fourth of July weekend. Not to be confused with Paul Blart Mall Cop 2: Electric Boogaloo. [Variety]
• Anthony Hopkins and Josh Brolin will star in a Woody Allen film; the plot is under wraps. [Variety]
• Elaborate, tangled negotiations behind the Sundance hit Push — based on the novel by Sapphire — will make your head spin. The Weinsteins are involved. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Here's a picture of Bee Gee Robin Gibb, who got his housekeeper pregnant, standing with his wife, Dwina. The housekeeper just gave birth and the baby's name is Snow Robin; Gibb says "New life is heaven-sent and is a blessing. That's what I can say about children and life." What do you say about cheating on your wife? [The Sun, Daily Mail]
• Breaking: John Cleese seen with "mystery redhead." [Daily Mail]
• First of all, Gretchen Mol and her son are on the cover of Cookie. Second of all, her son's name is Ptolemy. Third of all, she says: "When he's having a tantrum, I am not going to look it up in a book and say, 'Okay, 14 months old? Check.' I just deal with whatever is thrown at me." [People]
• Blind item! "Which hard-partying starlet lost her virginity to her best friend's stepdad?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Watching David Letterman after 9/11, I was like, 'Wow, that's exactly how I feel.' And hopefully I can be a voice of America like that; hopefully people will say, 'I wonder what Jimmy Fallon thinks.' When it's like, 'Jimmy Fallon's a douchebag,' what am I gonna do? I don't wanna be one. But I don't know what to do differently to make that guy like me." — Jimmy Fallon, in W. [Page Six]
• "I actually made the choice to be straight as a kid. Early on I knew [being gay] wasn't gonna fly. No way. And from the teachers and church and all it was, This is wrong! What's wrong with me? And you pray and ask God to take it away, and you bury it and bury it, and you shut that part of yourself off. Then you try to live the life that you're supposed to live." — Wanda Sykes, in an amazing interview with The Advocate. [ONTD]
• "I was out at work, I was out to my family, I was out to my friends. I lived my life as a lesbian. But because I'm a celebrity I have to do this additional step, which is to tell total strangers that I'm a lesbian. I didn't know it would be this liberating. I hate identifying myself as a celebrity… I'm still not there. I'm a closeted celebrity." — Wanda Sykes. [ONTD]
• "I read the instructions, which is like you've got to put your top five in order and if the number one that you've chosen isn't really doing very well, then they move on to your number two and include that with the one that is doing well, if you see what I mean. I did get a say on that form. I got to put a vote in. I voted for Mickey Rourke. Isn't he great in that film?" — Chris Martin, on "helping" wife Gwyneth Paltrow cast her Oscar ballots. [Telegraph]
• "I do a lot better if I sit around and think about a character for a couple of months. Before I climb into him for a run, I've just sat on my ass thinking about him, just reading, plodding around my house, driving my girls to school, fixing eggs. Like that. There's not a lot of transformation in it. I'm still just a driver to my children." — Clive Owen, from a feature in Esquire with lovely photos. [Esquire]
• "She has the potential to be the greatest artist of all time and, in that sense, I feel like that's my baby sis and I would do any and everything to help her in any situation. I don't want to speak more into the specifics with that situation, but all I'll say is it's just so devastating. I feel like, just as a person, I don't care how famous she is or even if she just worked at McDonald's, that should never happen. It should never come to that place." — Kanye West on Rihanna. [Concrete Loop]
• "I'm not that big a fan of marriage as an institution and I don't know why women need to have children to be seen as complete human beings" — Marisa Tomei to Manhattan. [Page Six]

• Etta James says when she was ripping Beyoncé about singing "At Last" for the President, "I didn't really mean anything…"

"Even as a little child, I've always had that comedian kind of attitude." Sure, sure. [The Life Files via NY Daily News, ONTD]

• The Obamas were reportedly "stunned" by Etta James' remarks. [TMZ]
• The Times asks, re: Heath Ledger, "So how do you run an Oscar campaign for someone who is no longer with us?" [NY Times]
• Angelina Jolie will produce a film called Resilient, in which Mariane Pearl will interview five women who have overcome odds to bring change to their communities. That's right, Saint Angie has six kids and a movie to create, get out of her way. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ryan Reynolds looks Photoshopped into waxy zombie territory on the cover of Men's Health. But good for him for running a marathon to raise funds for Parkinson's. [Socialite Life]
• Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil's divorce could get nasty: Blake Incarcerated is "compiling a dossier" of all the dudes Amy slept with and wants them to testify to prove that Amy was unfaithful during their marriage. What kind of fuckery is this? [The London Paper]
• Paris Hilton's brother Barron is being sued by a dude he struck with his car at a gas station a year ago. [TMZ]
• Apparently Kate Hudson's new guy, Aussie golfer Adam Scott, is better for her than Owen Wilson, because Owen would "point out her imperfections all the time" and Kate would always seen pictures of Owen with other women in magazines. Also: Adam is hot. [E!]
• Here's the Sarah Jessica Parker story from Bazaar. SJP talks about being Carrie Bradshaw: "I got to wear such incredible things, and you make such mistakes and there's such hits and great triumphs and there's incredible wrong, wrong, wrong. But it's so much fun." Oh! And she wore an Alexander McQueen dress to an SATC event in New York: "I actually had to cut myself out of that dress that night. My husband was out of town, so I was alone when I got home, and I couldn't unzip it. So…I got out the scissors." [Bazaar]
• Oh, God: Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman just signed on for a romcom called The Baster. They'll play best friends, but when he learns she's gonna get pregnant through artificial insemination, he replaces the donor's semen with his own. This is not a joke. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Here's Lily Allen dressed as a boy in a spoof of a chocolate commercial. [Daily Mail]
• In this article, Liv Tyler invites the interviewer back to her house and talks about the "sad parts" — empty spaces where her ex-husband has moved out. [Wonderland Magazine]
• Whoops! The BBC aired Christian Bale's infamous tirade without bleeping out the swearing. [The Star]
• Fantasia plans to get her high school degree — she dropped out of the ninth grade about ten years ago. "I've been talking about it for so long," she says. "I have a lot of young people who look up to me, like my 15-year-old brother and 7-year-old daughter. It's something that I really need to do and that I want to do." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Guy Ritchie: Seen singing show tunes in a gay bar. [Page Six]
• We've heard this before but here it is again: Lily Allen couldn't stay with her 45-year-old boyfriend because the sex was bad. [Mirror]
• Long interview with Justin Long, promoting He's Just Not That Into You. Guess what? He's not like his character. "I'm not good at reading signs - I don't like deciphering. I don't like to play the games, like 'When am I supposed to call?' " he says. [USA Today]
• Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell are in luuuuuv. [Daily Mail]
• Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are selling their San Antonio home for about $900,000. Take a slideshow tour and check out the pretty pool and basketball court! [WSJ]
• Dev Patel, who has been nominated for a Best Actor Bafta, says of Slumdog Millionaire: "It has never claimed to be a documentary. It is a movie. It is entertainment. I spent five months out here filming and really got a chance to see the slums close up and I think the film depicts them accurately enough. Mumbai really is a city of extreme contrasts. If you step out of a five-star hotel here you can be facing a slum." [Telegraph]
• Speaking of Dev Patel, he and Freida Pinto were about to be on Tyra's show when a woman in the audience had a seizure. They signed a copy of the Slumdog soundtrack and slipped it to her as she sped off in an ambulance. Music heals, you guys. [Page Six]
• Soap operas are wiping out top stars because the economic downturn means they can't pay the actors. Days Of Our Lives lost four couples! [NY Post]
• Another day, another story about John Cleese's package. [Page Six]
• Kelly Cutrone, whom you may have seen on The City or The Hills, is getting a reality show based on her fashion PR company. Expect dramz! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which young magazine editor dispenses bags of blow to Hollywood starlets so they can be 'extra up' for the photo shoots he arranges?" [Gatecrasher]
• Paris Hilton chatted Fergie up about her wedding and honeymoon, but when Fergalicious walked away, Paris quipped to sister Nicky, "Ha, my engagement ring was bigger!" This paper points out: Yeah, Paris, but which one of you is actually married? [Gatecrasher]
• Russell Simmons has a juicy new squeeze, and she is a grapefruit heiress. [Gatecrasher]
• The new Gossip Girl plotline will be very similar to Anne Hathaway's love life: A hottie swindler will sweep Serena off her feet. [Gatecrasher]
• Jade Jagger is married, according to her Facebook status. Also, she started a music, fashion and art company called, uh, Jezebel. Her middle name. [Daily Mail]
• Will Val Kilmer run for governor of New Mexico in 2010? He says probably! "What I do for a living is listen. If I run, I'm going to be the next governor." [CBS News via AP]
• "I used to have claustrophobia inside the cinema because I didn't like it in the dark. I missed out on films as a kid. Now I'm better watching films on DVD with friends around than on my own. — Judi Dench. And! "The difference between theatre and cinema is that once you've done a film, it's over. With Nine, two days after I'd recorded my singing part, I did the performance I felt I should've done – in my bathroom." [Daily Express]
• "We haven't found any reason to stop yet. It's chaos at times, but there's such joy in the house. We have the capability to give a child a home and, let me tell you, it's selfish too because the reward has been extraordinary. [Twins are] just double the fun. It's surprising how soon their personalities have started emerging. But it's really important that everyone gets their individual time as well as group time together, and that's a big focus of ours. We were four before, and we got into our rhythms and it worked – but everyone's pretty well integrated." — Brad Pitt, on adding kids to his brood. [Mirror]
• "I've tried, but I'm just not into text sex. You only have a few lines to get your point across, and I don't like that. I also don't know who my text-sex partner is showing my messages to. I could be viewed as a text slut through no fault of my own." — Ginnifer Goodwin. [Gatecrasher]
• "Gigi is the closest I've ever come to playing myself. I've never been interested in playing someone so like myself. But I fell in love with her. I humiliate myself on a daily basis. I have been known to Google-stalk. I've certainly caught myself flirting in such a way that I feel nauseous afterward when I think of what I said. And I'm so guilty of the long linger." — Ginnifer Goodwin, on her character in He's Just Not That Into You. [USA Today]
• "You're pretending you're feeling the same emotion as when you wrote the song. I'm not trying to have pretend good sex, I'm trying to have good sex." — Duffy, on her tactic when filming music videos. [The Sun]
• "Angelina and I are together because we can enhance each other. I don't want to waste any time because I'm with company I really, really love." — Brad Pitt. [Mirror]
• "It's a great job, but it doesn't leave time for what's important, like having a family. I want to live in the country and have a walled garden with chickens and pigs." — Lily Allen, on being a pop star. [Mirror]
• "I was kind of seeing this guy and then it was over. So I texted my godmother in Jamaica and told her and as a joke I said, 'Maybe my next conquest should be Simon Cowell.' You know when someone is in your mind and you accidentally text them? He replied, 'Sorry?'" — Lily Allen, on accidentally propositioning Simon Cowell. [The Sun]
• "My son! My husband! Food! Oh, fashion? I don't know. A good bra?" — What Sarah Jessica Parker can't live without. [Bazaar]
• "I think pop culture has done a number on creativity, because for me to make that statement [that I'm into acting], I get the reaction: 'Really?' It's like, 'Yeah, why wouldn't I?' The opportunity is there. It's sort of like, I have a day job, and this becomes a hobby (that) I can plunge into with full creative eagerness." — Justin Timberlake, to Katie Couric. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I stopped reading all fashion and trash magazines. I don't want to be influenced any more by what's in and what's out and what makes somebody cool or not cool. In the middle of the night I'd go and take a pee, and on the bathroom floor would be a magazine, and I found myself memorizing banal headlines like 500 Best Black Tops. So I read only books – A Farewell To Arms, it's a heartbreaker, oh god – and decoration magazines." — Liv Tyler. [Wonderland Magazine]
• "I have to say really, I feel better than I ever felt in my life. I did have a moment, though, over the weekend my first like huh… I don't want to [turn 40]. I found a really long gray hair and it kind of flipped me out. It's not my first but it's the fact that it was so long. I was like, 'Oh that's been there. How many others are there, and what does that mean? It actually brought me to tears slightly." — Jennifer Aniston, on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. [People]

• Miley Cyrus is seen "slanting her eyes" in a picture that's been circulating on the web.

An Asian American advocacy group says she "encouraged and legitimized the taunting and mocking of people of Asian descent." What is it with these Disney stars? [Perez]

• Angelina, Brad and the brood will live in Brazil next. [The Star]
• Amy Winehouse wants to leave St. Lucia and go to Jamaica to record her album. But, as this paper points out, "her label is 'fully aware' Jamaica is awash with drugs like crack cocaine and cannabis." Didn't you think they just had lots of weed? [The Sun]
• Was Jennifer Hudson "singing" at the Super Bowl actually Jennifer Hudson lip-syncing to a backing track of herself singing? [EW, Independent]
• Jennifer Hudson will perform at the NAACP Image Awards on February 12. [People]
• MTV wanted the girls on The City to fake a physical fight at the DVF office. Tacky, tacky! [Page Six]
• Jennifer Connelly is on the March cover of Glamour looking stiff and glazed-eyed. Pretty hair, though! She says: "It’s been so long since I’ve dated that I don’t understand what’s going on anymore with things like Facebook and MySpace. A friend of mine wrote 'LOL' to me the other day. I thought she meant 'Lord, oh, Lord.'" [Just Jared]
• Michael Phelps knew that bong picture was coming out. A source says: "There was an effort to purchase it, there was even talk of him writing a sports column as well for a period of time to in exchange for not running it. But the News obviously knew what it had on its hands. They weren’t going to play ball." [MSNBC]
• Halle Berry's baby's first word? "It was probably 'dada,'" says baby daddy Gabriel Aubry. "She doesn't say 'dad.' She says 'papa,' which is the French version of it." Oh, and Halle and Gabriel want more kids: "She needs a sibling," Aubry says. "I think it's important." [People]
• Anne Hathaway's Oscar date? Her dad. "If I can squeeze a few more tickets, I'm going to see if I can take my brother and my mom. This is my first, maybe my only, time going. Hopefully not! My family is the most important thing in the world to me. I definitely wanted them by my side." [People]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer spent Super Bowl Sunday together, hanging out with friends and watching the game. Snooze. [People]
• Faye Dunaway will guest star on Grey's Anatomy! [UPI]
• Katherine Heigl and her husband rescued a puppy in Mexico and he's freaking adorable. [Yahoo News via E!]
• You know how Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were throwing things at the house next door, for undergoing noisy construction? "Internet hustler" Jason Calacanis is ripping them new ones. [Gawker]
• Oh: Ashton and Demi may adopt a child this summer! [MSNBC]
• Gwyneth Paltrow wasn't exactly thrilled with a "smutty" interview conducted by BBC1's Jonathan Ross. [Daily Mail]
• Spoiler alert! Click to find out what might be going down on a future episode of Lost. Sawyer's involved. [AP]
• Paris Hilton has purchased a £2 million home in London. You know she has a TV series, My British Best Friend, right? [Mirror]
• Paris hosted a Super Bowl party while her ex Benji Madden DJ'd. Awkward? Oh, and Paris maybe made out with Doug Reinhardt. [Perez]
• Mark Wahlberg and longtime girlfriend Rhea Durham — who have three kids — are planning a wedding. In a Catholic church. Is that kosher? [People]
• If you see Joe Francis of "Girls Gone Wild," let him know there's a warrant out for his arrest. Tax evasion case. [Reuters]
• Apparently the reason David Spade gets so many ladies is because he has a large dick. Try and erase that from your mind. [Perez]
• Chelsy Davy is not just a partying blonde: She has accepted a post at a law firm and will train as a solicitor later this year, after completing her degree. [Daily Mail]
• Those SNL "MacGruber" sketches that are also Pepsi commercials confuse some people. [AP]
• Vincent Gallo is selling a wallet that is "guaranteed" to get you laid. Cost? $750. [Page Six]
• Brunch with Sienna Miller involves dancing on the chairs. [Page Six]
• Blind items! "Which two Hollywood buddies should go home to their wives instead of partying together in New York clubs with bags of cocaine? . . . Which sitcom actor avoids socializing with industry professionals? Though his flamboyance is obvious, he stays in the closet with his close-knit - and tight-lipped - circle of gay friends." [Page Six]
• Why did Larry Birkhead bring Anna Nicole Smith's daughter Dannielynn to the set of Larry King Live? (She's cute though!) [Daily Mail]
• Slumdog Millionaire's Dev Patel was encouraged to get naked for teen drama Skins by his own mother. [Mirror]
• "Dozens" in Mumbai protested against Slumdog today. [Reuters]
• Pete Doherty is getting evicted from a nine-bedroom house because there's graffiti on the walls, stray cats and trash everywhere and, oh, yeah: The landlord feels he's turned the place into a drug den. [The Sun]
• Roman Polanski's lawyers have lost their bid to disqualify all L.A. judges from hearing his case; they claimed the entire Los Angeles Superior Court bench is biased against the director. The court has ruled that the hearing can go forward. [Variety]
• Bobby Brown's girlfriend is pregnant. It's his prerogative. He can do what he wanna do. [TMZ]
• Lionsgate pictures has acquired Sundance Film Festival winner Push: Based On The Novel By Sapphire, and Oprah and Tyler Perry will team up to promote the flick. The film's star, Mo'Nique, was honored with a special jury prize. The story revolves around an overweight, illiterate African-American teen in Harlem who's about to give birth to her second child when she is accepted into an alternative school. [Variety]
• Six Feet Under producer Alan Poul will direct Plan B, a film starring Jennifer Lopez as a single woman who meets the man of her dreams on the very day she conceives a child through artificial insemination. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Mel B. and Eddie Murphy seemed to have settled a "secret" legal battle over their daughter. Mel B had always said that Eddie didn't want a relationship with the child, but the agreement states that Eddie will not have custody, but will have visitation rights. [Mirror]
• Usher's Atlanta wine bar, Grape: squashed. [Perez]
• Congrats to David Eisenberg, Sex And The City's Steve, who, along with his wife, welcomed his first child on January 19. [E!]
• Erykah Badu and boyfriend Jay Electronica Twittered the birth of their baby girl over the weekend; Badu says it was home birth that lasted about five hours and that she didn't use painkillers. Ow. [USA Today]
• The late Keith Moon of The Who is being honored with a "blue plaque." [Independent]
• "I can't deal with actors. I can't deal with myself. We're neurotic and miserable... I love doing what I'm doing, but while I'm doing it, I'm miserable." — Viola Davis. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "It's impossible for me to rebel against my parents because they are such crazy people. I can't rebel against the normal things that people rebel against." — Lorcan O'Toole, whose father is Peter O'Toole and mother is Karen Somerville, an ex-girlfriend of the actor who worked as a model. [Telegraph]
• "I used to never even be able to see a boy. I didn't even know what a boy was. They were so foreign to me. I used to go roller-skating just so I could see the opposite sex. There was this boy... and he never asked me to backward couple skate with him. I was emotionally scarred by 11 or 12 years old." — Katy Perry. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "It's unfortunate. There's no one more disappointed about it than him… He's getting a lot of flack about it and it's really unnecessary." — Mark Wahlberg on the Jeremy Piven kerfluffle. [E!]
• "I don’t know. It was something about the way that we were together. He stood out to me as someone singular and rare and beautiful, and I liked the way he was in the world…. I liked the way he was with my son and the way he made me feel." — Jennifer Connelly on knowing Paul Bettany was The One, in Glamour. [Just Jared]
• "It's so funny to me that the role is a guy who is an Oscar-seeking moron. His whole motivation is Oscars. Irony is synonymous with pretty much everything that is going on." _-Robert Downey Jr., on being nominated for Tropic Thunder. [USA Today]
• "When you get to my age, you do running repairs. I had my fourth hair transplant as it means I don't have to wear wigs in a movie." — John Cleese. [Daily Mail]
• "One of the things I just loved about Liev right away was that he was so good with kids." — Naomi Watts. [People]
• "All the men want to be Don Draper, all the women want to fuck him. Everyone thinks he's the perfect man, and Pete Campbell is jealous of him. But Draper's completely incomplete, completely lonely, completely detached, completely alone. It's why he reaches out to all these women, it's why he needs to take charge in business, to belittle Pete. He's completely alone. Loneliness isn't a phase or a mood, it's a core condition of being and some of us deal with it better than others - build a family or make a million dollars. Or Draper, coming home to the empty house at the end of season one. That's a big theme of the show: unattachment, loneliness, distance." — from a worth-your-while interview with Vincent Kartheiser of Mad Men. [Guardian]
• "I wanted to have that big giant dance video moment. I wanted it to be plastic, beautiful, gorgeous, sweaty, tar on the floor, bad-ass boys, but when you got close, the look in everybody's eyes was fucking honest and scary." — Lady GaGa, on her new video, set in a subway station and deaturing "a menacing flock of bondage-loving biker-gang dancers." [EW]
• "Well here you have it. My final blog… Before I go, however, I must say that I received a text message from a very close and dear friend of Lindsay's who I trust and admire. The text said, 'between you and me you are doing the right thing. From what I hear, from Lindsay's nearest and dearest friends, Lindsay is worse off than ever since she she has been with Sam. I told Dina that Lindsay needs you back in her life, and I think you know that I was the one who really helped Linds get into rehab.' I was with Lindsay when she got out of Cirque Lodge. I saw and experienced the 'old Lindsay' with so much hope and promise. I had full confidence in her. Then back came Samantha! Can't you all see this? Am I speaking to stone walls? All I ask that you put your selves in my shoes and HONESTLY consider what you would do." — Michael Lohan. [Mike Lohan Online]
• "I get very emotional about these things, I discover. I think I'm not cut out for this. I'm too emotional to lose, and I'm too emotional to win." — Kate Winslet, on the Oscars. [Daily Mail]
• "I think with the success of a few big pictures like Mamma Mia! addressing an audience that, never mind being neglected, have been disdained in the boardrooms, there will be other films that target that audience. Mamma Mia! is that rare thing you can enjoy with your mother or your child, and its aim is only to make you happy." — Meryl Streep. [Mirror]
• "Fuck the haters! I saw this blog of people writing horrible things about me and for a second your ego is so wounded. How could people hate me, my intentions or what I’m trying to do? I’m a good person and I’m trying to put good things into the world." — Gwyneth Paltrow, on critics of her "lifestyle blog," GOOP. [Examiner]

• Amy Winehouse must be coming to her senses: she's given control of her £15 million fortune to her parents. She can't spend her own money without their approval, so drugs are probably out. [Mirror]

• Michael Phelps says of smoking that bong: "I engaged in behaviour which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment." And! "I'm 23 years old and, despite the successes I've had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again." [Guardian]
• Madonna, Guy Ritchie, and the kids all went to the same service at the Kabbalah Center in New York yesterday. Madge and Guy arrived and left separately, but things are "amicable." [Daily Mail]
• Madonna was spotted with that hot Brazilian model in New York on Sunday, Jesus Luz. Are Madonna and Jesus gettin' Biblical? [Perez]
• Britney's dad has obtained restraining orders against Adnan Ghalib and Sam Lutfi, who are "now working in concert to disrupt the conservatorship," according to the paperwork. Apparently Britney informs Adnan of where she's going, and he arranges for paparazzi to show up and photograph her for his financial benefit. Sam, meanwhile, tells Brit he's "trying" to "free" her from her conservatorship. [Extra]
• Get ready: Kate Moss wants to be an actress. [Elle UK]
• Wings and cupcakes: Jessica Biel threw Justin Timberlake a Super-Bowl themed surprise party in the penthouse of the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood. [People]
• Tommy Lee's helicopter was pulled over by LAPD. No, really. [TMZ]
• Foxy! Pix of Slumdog Millionaire's Freida Pinto as a young aspiring model. [Daily Mail]
• As for Slumdog's Dev Patel, he says: "If you asked me a year ago would I ever have been doing a movie with [director] Danny Boyle, I would have absolutely laughed in your face." [NPR]
• Aw, 9-year-old Rubina Ali, who also starred in Slumdog Millionaire and lives in a "one-room shack" with her family in a Mumbai slum, wants to be a Bollywood star. "I like films. I like poems and I like my school," she says. [Reuters]
• Jennifer Aniston's house: Still a construction site after 2 years of remodeling.
  Star]
• Ciao, Hollywood: David Beckham will leave the LA Galaxy and join AC Milan permanently, after getting approval from wife Victoria. [Mirror]
• Here's Victoria stepping out with Cruz and Romeo, who are wearing matching shirts. [Daily Mail]
• Is it really the end for Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy? A source says they are still speaking and this may just be a "blip." [Daily Express]
• Although Chelsy was out partying and kept talking about how she wants to go "home" to Zimbabwe. [Daily Mail]
• Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi had a joint birthday party where Samantha Ronson DJ'd and celebs like Jennifer Aniston and Drew Barrymore celebrated. Our invitation must have gotten lost. [ People]
• Chris Martin has been banned from recording with Coldplay for two weeks. [Mirror]
• Even though Warner Bros. didn't push for Gran Torino to win an Oscar, the movie is actually cleaning up at the box office, unlike some other nominated flicks.It's "Clint Eastwood's $110 Million Revenge." [Fox News]
• Billy Bob Thornton claims: "I’d like to do another movie with Angie one of these days. We talk all the time. She and I keep looking for something to do together; we just have to find the right thing." Sure, sure. [Daily Express]
• Even though Courtenay Semel beat up Casey Johnson last month and set her hair on fire, they are back in love and "soul partners." [Page Six]
• Kristen Johnston talks about her role on the new Absolutely Fabulous: She will indeed play Patsy, not Edina, as previously reported. And the show will be "different.": "We don’t smoke, we are hungover all the time, we chew Nicorette, we’re trying to be more PC, but I think it really works. It’s one of those scripts that’s like my favorite kind because on paper you’re like, Oh, this is funny, but when you read it out loud with two actresses, it’s, like, the funniest shit ever." [EW]
• Score: Snoop Dogg coached his Snoop Youth Football league team to victory! [UPI]
• Mary Lynn Rajskub and Janeane Garofalo get the giggles when shooting 24 scenes together. "If we make eye contact, forget it," Garofalo says. [USA Today]
• Check out Zoe Kravitz, all dolled up for a photo shoot with Annie Leibovitz. The pix will appear in an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which heartthrob actor keeps turning up drunk to the set of his TV medical drama?" [Gatecrasher]
• Nick Lachey loves that his girlfriend is a sports fan, blah blah blah. [People]
• Is ABC Family, with shows that contain teenage pregnancy and underage drinking, too edgy to be called a family channel? [UPI]
• The latest ABC family shows are all "female-oriented," including one series called 10 Things I Hate About You, based on the movie. [Reuters]
• Lisa Loeb got married on Saturday! The lucky guy is Roey Hershkovitz, a music supervisor for Late Night with Conan O'Brien. The bride wore pink. [People]
• Kate Middleton's childhood home is up for sale. [Telegraph]
• Because the world could not function without his opinion, Sanjaya Malakar would like for you to know he approves of the 4th judge on American Idol. [UPI]
• John Cleese's ex-girlfriend says when Cleese dumped her via a message on her answering machine for lying about her age, she texted back: "Look, at least it wasn’t a sex tape." [Mirror]
• "To me, it's a party whenever I go to work. The writing is so wonderfully dark, and everybody's lying to everyone else, that it's funny. It was a very relaxed time for me — actually, way more relaxing than comedy. Comedy makes me uptight. Because in comedy, everything is not funny until that one thing that is. " — Ted Danson, best known for doing comedy, now getting attention of his dramatic role on Damages. [Washington Post]
• "Oh God, wasn’t that awful?" — Kristen Johnston, on Bride Wars, in which she had a small part. [EW]
• "I'm not a romantic guy at all. It’s not that I don’t believe in romance. It’s that I don’t believe in dinner for two by the ocean, walking down the beach holding hands – that version of romance. I think I'm probably romantic, but I’m not outwardly romantic. I'm not a player." — Jonathan Rhys Meyers. [People]
• "I loved [Vicky Cristina Barcelona character] Maria Elena, yes. I mean, I hope I'm not too similar to her! And I didn't want to ever think, 'Oh, I'm playing a crazy person.' Because I mean, who's normal? I don't know anybody that is normal." — Penelope Cruz. [CBS News]
• "I asked my agent if I could have my costumes in my contract – but she laughed in my face! I guess that doesn't really happen." — Isla Fisher, on Confessions Of A Shopaholic. [The Sun]
• "It was pretty tough turning 18. I realised that overnight I’d become fair game. I had a party in town and the pavements were just knee-deep with photographers trying to get a shot of me looking drunk, which wasn’t going to happen. I don’t have to drink to have a good time. The sickest part was when one photographer lay down on the floor to get a shot up my skirt. The night it was legal for them to do it, they did it. I woke up the next day and felt completely violated by it all. That’s not something I want in my life. I just kept thinking that if it had happened a day earlier people would have sued their asses off… I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing… I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable." — Emma Watson. [Daily Mail]

The obvious answer is this: Barbie Orr (real name: Kristine Reinhard) wanted to be somebody else. She changed her name, knocked 18 years off of her age, and allegedly began telling friends how excited she was to finally be getting bit parts in Hollywood. 45-year-old Kristine Reinhard had struggled as a comedienne for years, but 27-year-old Barbie Orr, hot young blonde girlfriend of John Cleese, was surrounded with industry buzz.

Cleese, who is going through a fairly nasty divorce, apparently began dating younger women as a bit of a "screw you" to his ex-wife, Alyce. "I think part of his attraction to these younger women is because it is a bit of a two-fingered salute to Alyce. He wants her to know he's having no trouble attracting girlfriends," a source says. But the revelations about Orr have only increased Cleese's troubles: "This is the last thing John needs. Given what he's been through with this wretched divorce, nobody could blame him having his head turned by this woman. He's a great talent and a good man and nobody wants him to be made a laughing stock when he's feeling like he's already been through the mill."

So why is John Cleese upset? One hopes it's because his girlfriend is a fraud and a liar, and not just because she's 45 instead of 27. As for Orr, who recently assured the public that Cleese has "a nice package," and who has been reveling in her role as Cleese's 27-year-old blonde, she responded to the Daily Mail's claims as such: "This will be career suicide for me if you print that. Please leave out my age - age is a huge thing to pass. It stays for ever. I am a quiet, cheerful, fun person. Print 35 if that makes them feel better. . . but not 45!" On her supposedly "official" page, however, Barbie notes that the papers " elaborate and twist....and now there are more fake 'facts'!! Obviously my 'facts' were too boring for their entertainment and not much of a story....so they keep making things up!!"

Which leads us to ask this: what the hell is so wrong with being John Cleese's pretty, blonde 45 year old girlfriend? Barbie Orr's pictures are all the same: the only thing that has changed is the age attached to them. In lying about her age, and allowing the media to make a huge deal about it, Orr has played right into the stereotype that younger women are somehow sexier, throwing away an opportunity to present herself as a sexy woman in her 40's. Granted, I am 28 and admittedly do not know what it is like to be a 45-year-old woman, or the pressures one feels at that age, but overall this story makes me angry and gives me the creeps, at both Orr and the media (and Cleese, to a lesser extent) for making such a big bloody deal out of her age in the first place.

What do you think, dear commenters? Can you understand Orr's position? Or is it just another example of women screwing each other over by desperately clinging to the stupid, totally untrue idea that sexiness can only be found in one's 20's?

John Cleese, His Blonde Lover, And The Truth About Her Claim To Be Only 27 [DailyMail]
John Cleese's Girlfriend, Barbie, Is Quite The Charmer {The Guardian]
[Barbie Orr]

[Image via Barbie Orr's Site]

• Lindsay Lohan is reportedly in talks to play the title role in a modern day adaptation of "Snow White" called The Stepsister Scheme. Megan Fox and Miley Cyrus are also allegedly up for roles. [ShowbizSpy]

• James Franco is a bit tired of answering questions about his on-screen kiss with Milk co-star, Sean Penn. "It's like you can never answer in the right way. If I'm too casual it looks as though I'm making fun of the film. If I don't answer, it looks as though I'm uncomfortable. I can't win," Franco said, before adding, with a smile, "God, I'm being way too serious! OK. You want the simple answer? I had no problem with kissing Sean Penn." [Guardian]
• George Clooney has returned to the set of E.R., and Extra has the photographic proof, showing Clooney in his ol' Dr. Ross scrubs.[Extra]
• 80's teen queen Molly Ringwald is pregnant with twins. In 16 years, she will totally forget their birthdays, setting off a wacky chain of events that culminates with one of her kids being swept away by Jake Ryan outside a church somewhere. [People]
• Is John Cleese's 27-year-old girlfriend really45? [DailyMail]
• Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford has been awarded custody of her 2-year-old son, Hermes, and will be allowed to bring him to NY while she films the series. [Chicago Tribune]
• Drew Barrymore is reportedly gearing up for Charlie's Angels 3: ""It's percolating up," says Drew's producing partner, Nancy Juvonen, "It's rising to the surface."[E!]
• Lily Allen doesn't need an alter-ego to perform: ""I am ... Sasha Fierce," Lily said, after hearing abouy Beyonce's album title, "Good for her. I wake up, check my BlackBerry, have a cup of tea and a fag, and then I am ... Lily Allen. I'm not knocking anyone, but I am not performing." [NYPost]
• In Jennifer Aniston's "uncool" comment to blame for the lack of Academy Award nominations for The Changeling (NO) A "source" says Angelina "feels that Jen's interview had a part to play in her losing out. Critics lauded Angelina's performance in Changeling as phenomenal and there's been lots of Oscar buzz, but now she doesn't think she stands a chance. The judges are notoriously moralistic and they'll think nothing of ensuring that a worthy candidate misses out if they've been embroiled in any scandal." Which makes NO sense, people, because both Brad and Angelina were nominated. [ShowbizSpy]
• In bad idea news: Fox has given the green light to an Americanized version of Absolutely Fabulous, while ABC has ordered a pilot based on The Witches of Eastwick.[EW]
• Robert Pattinson, sparkly vampire extraordinaire, says he likes talented girls. ""If she’s really talented, I don’t really care about the other things," Pattinson says.[ShowbizSpy]
• However! He also believes in love at first sight: "It's absolutely possible that you can meet someone on the street and suddenly fall in love with that person." [ShowbizSpy]
• Will Biggie's murder ever be solved? His mother, Voletta Wallace, still hopes so: ""I am still waiting for that day to come," she says, "But I'm confident, based on evidence that has been brought forth, that in my life time I will see justice done in this case, and that's all I have to say."[People]
• In news that I should have typed in 1998: former LFO singer Rich Cronin says he was stunned when Jennifer Love Hewitt broke up with him. "She has a big heart, but she is more than I can handle," Cronin says, "She would say, 'I love you so much we are never going to break up.' When she dumped me, I was like, 'What?'" He then added: "New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits, Chinese food makes me sick. But I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer, for the summer."[USMagazine]

• Madonna is divorced. A judge ruled on "Ciccone, M.L. v. Ritchie, G.S." today and the case was a "quickie," an uncontested divorce. Neither Madonna nor Guy Ritchie attended the hearing, which lasted barely a minute. Her Madgesty is single again! Think she'll get hitched to A-Rod? [Yahoo News]
• Oh snap! Madonna just had drinks with her first ex-husband, Sean Penn. [Page Six]
• A source says don't believe what you read about Guy being a gentleman and not taking a penny from Madge. He's getting a "huge pay day." [Perez Hilton]
• Friends of Madonna's are not surprised that the divorce went through so quickly. "It’s not fair to Guy, to the kids, to drag it out for any reason," says a source. [MSNBC]
• Ashlee Simpson gave birth to a baby boy last night, Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Yeah, Bronx. And yeah: Mowgli. Urban Decay Jungle Book Wentz. [People]

• Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson have been "fighting like cats and dogs," says a source, and may be in couples therapy. Work it out, ladies! [Page Six]
• Whoa, a kid almost died on the set of 30 Rock when an out-of-control taxi smashed into the street where the show was filming and everyone had to dive out of the way. [Page Six]
• Shia LaBeouf's wrecked truck was on eBay, but barely anyone bid on it. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson has converted to Islam. His name is now Mikaeel. It might be so that he can legally wear a burka in court and no one can stare at his skin. [The Sun]
• Michael Jackson Mikaeel is due in court next week to defend claims that he owes Sheikh Abdullah $7 million. May Allah be with him! [Guardian]
• Ooh, more soundbites from Britney's new documentary: "Do I know my life is weird? It's all I've ever known. I don't see it as being weird… I'm kind of stuck in this place and I'm like, How do you deal? I just cope with it every day… It's better not to feel anything at all and have hope than to feel the other way… It's bad. I'm sad." [She breaks down into tears.] [EW]
• Britney on why she let "bad people" into her life: "Because I was lonely." [People]
• Twilight star Robert Pattinson was asked, "What is all this talk about you not washing your hair for months on end?" He answered: "People are scared of my hair. But it starts washing itself after about three weeks. I'm just saying that. But, yeah, if it doesn't look dirty, why wash it?" Darling, it looks dirty. Get some Pantene Pro-V up in there. [USA Today]
• America's Next Top Model winner McKey says: "I was freaking out at the second CoverGirl commercial. I almost had a nervous breakdown. They only show a little bit of it, but Christian was fixing my makeup and I was like, 'Christian, I'm freaking out right now. I might have a nervous breakdown. I haven't had a nervous breakdown in forever. I'm going crazy. Why am I here?'" Because you look like a model, maybe? [E!]
• Leonardo DiCaprio attended a "preview screening" of a music video starring ex-girlfriend Gisele Bundchen because he's friends with the director, who is Kevin Connolly. Hollywood's a small town. [People]
• Uh, are Leo and Kate Bosworth an item???? [Star]
• Leo told this paper: "So much of my life has been spent on some far-off movie location and so little of it has been lived normally. I want to get married and have children." [Mirror]
• Hollywood is a small town, take 2: Samuel L. Jackson, Denzel Washington, Eddie Murphy, Reba McEntire, Sylvester Stallone, Magic Johnson and Barry Bonds are involved in the lawsuit between North and South Beverly Park homeowners. It's like the Sharks and the Jets! [LA Times]
• Here's more on that turf war between the North and the South. [TMZ]
• Apparently Brit TV host Jonathan Ross told Gwyneth Paltrow he "would fuck her" and the BBC has called that "gratuitous and unnecessarily offensive." Think so? [Guardian]
• A critic says Baz Luhrmann made a "big, big mistake" in casting Nicole Kidman as proper English dame Lady Sarah Ashley in Australia: Melanie Reid says Kidman is "one of the most overrated actors" in the world and who has "been the kiss of death in practically every movie she has starred in." There's more! "Kidman is exquisitely accomplished at being awful," Reid writes. "She can't act. Instead she drifts around films like a lost porcelain doll, looking frozen, brittle and vapid, staring at the camera with her oh-golly-look-how-I'm-looking-interesting blue eyes." Ouch! [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Ugh, someone asked Nicole Kidman if she was pregnant again. "No, I just have a little tummy," she said. "My god, I just had a baby four months ago – give me a break!" She added: "I think I've always had a little tummy, though, it runs in the family. My sister does, my mum does, my grandmother did… We affectionately refer to it as the 'little tummy.'" Fascinating. [People]
• Glenn Close didn't get the part of Elvira in Scarface because she wasn't slutty enough? [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus let her boyfriend attend the casting for her new video, and a source says "Justin wanted to pick a guy that looked the most like him." WTF. [E!]
• Apparently the clip of Justin Timberlake dancing with Beyoncé on SNL has been yanked from YouTube due to music clearance issues. Dammit. Not fierce, Sasha. Not fierce. [LA Times]
• Angelina Jolie might not get nominated for an Oscar for her performance in Changeling, even though Ted Casablanca thinks she should. [E!]
• Rihanna's new tattoo: "It's tribal," she says. She got it in New Zealand, and it's Maori-inspired. "It's their traditional way of tattooing. I always wanted [one]. It hurt like hell!" [People]
• ABC has killed three shows: RIP Pushing Daisies, Eli Stone and Dirty Sexy Money. [EW]
• Your friend Kanye West began his concert in Germany by having the crowd wait tow hours and then running on stage and shouting, "I really need some pussy tonight!" [The Sun]
• Baby-wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard says all he's ever wanted to do is be all around the most beautiful women in the world. "I'm sorry I'm shallow like that, I'm a man." [Perez Hilton]
• Lance Bass is glad Julianne Hough has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars: "She was the one I was scared of the most," he says. [People]
• Is Julianne Hough retiring from DWTS? "I'm not gonna be back next season," she says. "I really, really want to focus on the music and, ya know, be taken seriously a little bit. And I think it’s hard to be on [the show] and be singing." [People]
• Reese Witherspoon looks like a small town checkout girl on the cover of Parade. [Just Jared]
• Reese told Parade: "Family is all we have in life, but I don't know how I feel about marriage. Obviously, I'm not far enough out of being married to think about doing it again." For some reason this prompted this paper to run the headline "I'm Not Ready To Marry Jake." [Daily Mail]
• Heath Ledger's family issued a statement to say that a new book about the star contains "gross inaccuracies, false allegations and many incorrect and unsubstantiated comments." The unauthorized bio, written by a journalist, claims Ledger was mentally ill. [News.com.au]
• The world is weird: Shaquille O'Neal is on Twitter. [Observer]
• Holly Madison says she's wearing less makeup now and P. Hilton says she's lying through her fake teeth. [Perez Hilton]
• Paris Hilton went out without Benji Madden and "looked distraught and completely lonesome." Sniff. [People]
• As for Benji, he is not talking about the split. [E!]
• Have you seen Rosie O'Donnell's video response to Barbara Walters? [Perez Hilton]
• Fox's Roger Friedman says Rosie will get the last laugh, because her live variety show "should be an enormous hit." It's family-friendly and positive in its celebration of Broadway, New York, and the arts. Plus comedy is what Rosie excels at. [Fox 411]
• Michael Phelps: The new spokesperson for Subway sandwiches. Do you want him on whole wheat? [Perez Hilton]
• Is Michael Phelps off the market? He flew to Birmingham to see former Miss Alabama, Doree Walker, and they went to dinner and then to the zoo the next day. Roar. [MSNBC]
• New Lost trailer! And Sawyer and Juliet are holding hands. For like a split second. [E!]
• Josh Brolin, who plays Harvey Milk's assassin in Milk, says the story of Milk made him cry. [UPI]
• If you can understand this kerfluffle surrounding Bianca Jagger's lost ring and bankruptcy and an Austrian building magnate named Reinhard Ringler, please explain. [Daily Express]
• John Malkovich is making a documentary about the plight of migrant children who cross illegally into the U.S. It will be produced by Canana Films, a production company owned by Mexican actors Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal. [AP]
• Christina Ricci, Rosie Perez and Arsenio Hall will voice characters in The Hero of Color City, an animated film about a group of crayons that band together to stop a tyrant from robbing their world of color. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Katie "Jordan" Price in her underwear again, yawn. [Perez Hilton]
• Did New Kids On The Block's Donnie Wahlberg out suspected gay Jonathan Knight? [Perez Hilton]
• It's official: Jean Claude Van Damme hits on young female reporters. [23/6]
• John Cleese, 69, is dating a 27-year-old named Barbie. [The Sun]
• The headmistress of Oprah Winfrey's girls' school in South Africa, Nomvuyo Mzamane, has dropped her suit against The Huffington Post and a blogger she claimed falsely harmed her reputation. [Portƒolio]
• When it comes to cash, Bruce Willis is a die hard, heh: He invested $2 million in a Malaysian technology company and then withdrew his cash; they still owe him $900,000 and he's filed a court complaint. [AP]
• Former Senator Fred Thompson, who was on Law & Order and then tried running for president, is going back to acting. Anyone want to cast him? [AP]
• Success has made Leona Lewis "really, really lonely." Sad face! [Mirror]
• Linda Hogan was getting $40,000 a month in temporary alimony payments. Now she claims to be broke. She wants a court hearing to talk about getting more cash out of the Hulkster. [Perez Hilton]
• TRL's Damien Fahey has a new job, now that his MTV show is dead: He'll be a special correspondent for Extra. [Page Six]
• "That's debatable in Hollywood. There's the obvious answer: Angelina, for saving the planet with her adoptions and charity work." — Megan Fox, when asked who the Woman of the Year was. [E!]
• "[Four Christmases] is not for your children. It's PG-13. But my family always went to movies on Christmas Day – The Godfather, The Elephant Man. Your typical cheerful holiday fare. It's fun to go to the movies at Christmas and nice to be part of a movie that at least grown-ups and teenagers can see. Plus it means a lot when I get to have experiences where I meet young people and they say, 'You know, this is the movie that got me through a hard time' or, 'This is the movie I watch with my family.'" [Independent]
• "There are disco bands, rap bands, Yiddish folk song bands in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but not Kiss I believe we have more gold records in America than any other group, but it's OK." — Gene Simmons, bruised because his band's not in the Hall of Fame. [Reuters]
• "That would be really exciting if that does happen. I hope it does. There has been some talk about it but I think it's in its very early days. But I'm practicing by dressing as a pirate every day - just in case!" — Russell Brand, on playing Captain Jack Sparrow's brother in the new Pirates Of The Caribbean flick. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I did a photo shoot for her, and she suddenly took off her T-shirt to change into another and I was like, 'Damn!' She was so beautiful, elegant, classy and timeless, and there was something really exotic about it. Very few human beings have been that sexy and desirable. I wanted to say, 'You are sculpted by God.' I was like, wow." — Rosario Dawson on Iman. [Daily Express]
• "Our new president is really a person who came from a place where they told him he couldn’t be something, in a country where no one ever thought that we would see a black president, but now that we have a black president we understand that black people, white people, Asian people, Native Americans, Latinos, no matter what color you are, we all are one. Whatever you want to be you can be in this world. You just have to put your mind to it." — Common, to elementary school students in Georgia. [Concrete Loop]
• "I can drink most men under the table and be fine! And I get louder and giggly. Do I get more affectionate? Who doesn't?" — Sienna Miller. [Mirror]

• Oprah asked Jennifer Aniston about calling Angelina's behavior "uncool." Jen said she was merely responding to the reporter's question. "I basically just answered it as honestly as I could." Plus, did you know that her flick, Marley And Me, is opening the same day as Brad Pitt's The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button? [People]
• Brad Pitt called Jen and cut her a slice of "shut it" cake. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are heading to Paris, where they'll get engaged, says a spy. "After spending weeks discussing rings, they want to visit two leading jewellers there with their finalised design." OMG please do it at the top of the Eiffel Tower? Please? [Mirror]
• Prince Harry on his hair: "I'm not ginger. I'm auburn, that's what I've been told." Some of us would beg to differ, dear. [Telegraph]
• Oh God: Sarah Palin on Desperate Housewives? [Page Six]
• Madonna told a friend that A-Rod "has the heart of a poet trapped inside an insanely gorgeous body." Vom. [Page Six]

• Miley Cyrus says she'd love for Sasha and Malia Obama to come to the set of Hannah Montana: "I know they have a lot going on, but I think for them to come and hang out with normal kids would be fun." Cuz having your own TV show is like, so normal. Way more normal than having a dad in politics! [E!]
• Three Amy Winehouse fans buzzed her apartment, found her to be at home and had a lovely conversation with her through the intercom. She asked them for the spelling of their names and then signed photos for them. Watch the video just to hear the girls adorable Liverpudlian accents! [TMZ]
• Whoa. George Clooney may come back to ER for the finale? Yeah. Right. [E!]
• Goodbye, Lipstick Jungle and My Own Worst Enemy! NBC has canceled you, and you will live on in TV heaven. [E!]
• Mariah Carey went to London for three days and brought 20 pieces of luggage: Business as usual. [MSNBC]
• Mariah Carey says she goes over the top at Christmas and has a bedroom in her Aspen home made to look like the North Pole. What's cooler than cool? [The Sun]
• Here's how Mariah celebrates the holidays with her friends: "We go in the hot tub in our Christmas bikinis, then roll in the fresh snow and jump back in the tub." Her Christmas outfit is "a red bikini with a Santa hat." [Page Six]
• '90s boyband Boyzone got into a drunken brawl with Rihanna's band in Sydney and security had to break it up. When did pop get so rock and roll? [News.com.au]
• Speaking of Boyzone, they've got a gay couple in their new video. [BBC News]
• As for Rihanna, she canceled a concert in Indonesia after a travel advisory was issued. [Yahoo News]
• Click to see a snippet of Rihanna's new video, the one with Justin Timberlake! [Concrete Loop]
• Will Arnett on his new baby with Amy Poehler: "He's loving being a baby right now. He's thinking about smiling. He's trying to decide if he's ready or not." [People]
• If you'd like to see a picture of Clay Aiken, his egg donor and his baby, click away. [Perez Hilton]
• Some gay rights groups are thinking about boycotting the Sundance Film Festival in an effort to protest the Mormon Church and hurt Utah's business. But is affecting Robert Redford's celeb-studded film fest the right way to go? "Sundance was founded on the idea of championing diversity and freedom of expression," says a spokesman. "It would be a grave disappointment to us if our festival were to be singled out for a boycott." [Independent]
• Ed Norton's documentary about Barack Obama, or as one commenter suggested, "Barackumentary," is drawing wide interest. A lawyer repping the film says: "We’ve had an enormous number of incoming calls from territories all over the world." It should hit HBO next spring. [NY Times]
• Bob Saget approves of Mary-Kate and Ashley's boyfriends.
  "I approve of anyone that makes my friends happy, and they're my friends," he says. What he meant was: "I am not their actual father, I just played their dad on TV, get over it." [People]
• The former American Idol contestant found dead in an apparent suicide near Paula Abdul's home had been causing "a disturbance" there for several years, the police say. [People]
• Read more about Paula Goodspeed, one of the "delusionally bad performers" from American Idol, here. Was she ridiculed when she was clearly mentally unstable? [Washington Post]
• Anne Hathaway's ex, Raffaello Follieri, is not having fun in jail in Brooklyn. He says there are "unspeakably harsh conditions" and "unspeakably unsanitary" toilet and shower facilities and an "intolerable" stench. Rats "roam freely" and there is "excrement in the shower." [The Smoking Gun]
• Baz Luhrmann answers questions about Australia, which Oprah and her audience saw and LOVED. The film is getting compared to Gone With The Wind and Luhrmann says: Gone with the Wind is more than a movie; it's an icon, you know? So it's always scary to make that comparison. But in the same way that Gone with the Wind has a passionate love story that is played out on the canvases of a country's landscape and historical events, this movie has that about it." [LA Times]
• Luhrmann also says the rumors that he's had to reshoot the ending are "absurd." [Page Six]
• What the world needs now: A sequel to Meet The Fockers, with Ben Stiller and Bobby DeNiro. [Fox News]
• Carmen Electra will appear in an eight-page spread pictorial in the January 2009 issue of Playboy. Snooze. [Daily Express]
• What's this? Billy Corgan ranting about James Iha on stage? [Rolling Stone]
• Julia Stiles' mom just opened a home furnishings store in New York's Tribeca neighborhood. [Page Six]
• James Bond's Lotus from The Spy Who Loved Me is expected to fetch up to £120,000 at auction next month. It sorta looks like a DeLorean… [The Star]
• Jamie Oliver will not stop swearing on his TV show, where he uses the F word repeatedly, when he's angry about pork farms and stuff. [Mirror]
• Willam Shatner's moving his online feud with George Takei to a TV show on the Biography Channel. Leave George alone! [MSNBC]
• Hmm, George Takei is on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here? And no one met him at the airport when he flew to Brisbane. Boo. [Mirror]
• Rob Corddry and his wife welcomed a second child on Wednesday: A daughter named Marlo Stevenson Corddry. [People]
• A woman has been placed on three years of probation following her guilty plea to a misdemeanor charge of stalking actress Sandra Bullock. [Yahoo News]
• "My daddy said that I should wear it up and put it in a 'Get your hair as high and close to Jesus as possible' type hairdo. I said, 'Daddy, I don’t think I can get it any higher, but I did my best.'" — Miley Cyrus on her hair at the Country Music Awards. [E!]
• "I love Monopoly by the fire on Christmas Day." — Sienna Miller. [WWD]
• "In the future, if a gay person in California wants to get hitched, he'll have to do it the way God intended, to Liza Minnelli." — Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report. [Page Six]
• "I've had a hair transplant. Because I have got a very strange shaped head. It's very pointy. And I don't like wearing wigs." — John Cleese. [Telegraph]
• "My insomnia started in my mid-20s. It got to the point where my immune system would give out. It affected my concentration level and being able to perform on the job." — Debi Mazar, who is promoting a web site for insomnia sufferers. [Daily Express]
• "I don’t think about it much because I don’t plan to keep acting very long. I’m ready to do a few things now and fade away and get ready to be a grandma one day. So I’m not so worried that I want to keep this pace up and try to be something and be a celebrity and be a successful actress forever. I think it’s nice, I’ve had a time to tell stories and be able to be successful enough to tell the ones I want to tell, and to earn some money at the same time is great. But everything comes in seasons and, you know, I hopefully won’t be needing to do that later in my life in any way." — Angelina Jolie's answer to the question of whether losing her looks would cut her career short. [The Sun]
• "I moved to California and my mom moved with me when I became a star. If we were still in Chicago she wouldn't have had that done. I've been going through anguish thinking about it. I have been so lonely." — Kanye West, on his mother's death after having plastic surgery. [Mirror]

• OMG. This may make you hyperventilate: Mad Men's Jon Hamm is in talks to do a multi-episode arc on 30 Rock. The man known as Don Draper could be Liz Lemon's neighbor and a potential love interest for Tina Fey's character. Breathe. Just breathe. [EW]
• Jennifer Lopez sued her first husband, former waiter Ojani Noa, for writing a tell-all book about their relationship; it violated a 2002 confidentiality agreement. Inside: details about her "multiple duplicitous sexual affairs" behind Noa's back (including a tryst with Marc Anthony while he was married to ex-Miss Universe Dayanara Torres). Anywhoozle, an L.A. judge has awarded Ms. Lopez $545,000, because she really needs the money. How Mr. Noa is gonna get it is another question. [E!]
• Today in Madonna/Guy Ritchie news: She "bombards him" with "weird" texts and says "you're going down." Meanie! [Mirror]
• Madonna had a "secret helicopter trip" to visit A-Rod less than a week after her split from Guy Ritchie, and they met at Jerry Seinfeld's mansion in the Hamptons. Yeah, I dunno. [The Sun, TMZ]
• Wait, apparently The Seinfelds have been friends with Madonna for years. [Page Six]

• Jennifer Hudson's family has announced a new organization: The Hudson-King Foundation for Families of Slain Victims is named in honor of the singer-actress's slain mother Darnell Hudson Donerson, brother Jason Hudson and nephew Julian King. "The specific purpose of the Foundation is to care for the needs of families who have lost relatives to a violent crime," the family says in a statement. "This encompasses their basic needs of food, clothing and shelter as well as grief counseling." The foundation is accepting donations, click for the address. [People]
• New details: Police believe Jennifer Hudson's nephew was shot in the SUV in which he was found. William Balfour, who is Julian's stepfather, has refused to take a lie-detector test and has stopped cooperating with detectives. [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Hudson was on vacation with fiancé David Otunga in Florida when her sister Julia called her with the news. Jennifer is on the cover of People this week. [USA Today]
• A source says Jennifer Hudson is "still in shock," "hasn't gone out much at all" and "has lots of security around her." She is holed up in a hotel in Chicago and has not been seen in public since identifying her nephew's body on Monday. [Yahoo News]
• Not only is Joaquin Phoenix retiring from Hollywood, he's moving away: He just put his Hollywood Hills home on the market. So long, burning hot bird. [TMZ]
• Uh-oh: Yesterday Jermaine Jackson said that there would be a Jackson 5 reunion with both Michael and Janet; today Michael says: "My brothers and sisters have my full love and support, and we’ve certainly shared many great experiences, but at this time I have no plans to record or tour with them. I am now in the studio developing new and exciting projects that I look forward to sharing with my fans in concert soon." Hey, Jermaine, before you announce that Michael is touring with you, you probably should check with Michael. [Perez Hilton, Reuters]
• Here's a profile of the two guys who are running the Brooklyn restaurant Heath Ledger had planned to open: "The actor truly lived the New York experience. He taught his daughter how to skateboard. He rode his bike over the Williamsburg Bridge. He visited farmer’s markets. He played chess in Washington Square Park, and he brought coffee for the paparazzi. 'He really just took New York and rolled with it,' Mr. Mongell said. 'He was just one of us, man.'" [NY Times]
• Photographer Timothy White has published a book called Hollywood Pinups, in which stars like Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen, Kate Hudson, Vanessa Williams and Susan Sarandon pose in classic vintage Vargas girl style. [LA Times]
• Brooke Shields is thinking about adopting, but she won't go outside the U.S.: "There are a lot of babies out there in our immediate back yard that need families." [Daily Express]
• Did you know that Wilmer Valderramma had an animated show on the Disney Channel? He speaks to JustJared "exclusively" about the show in a fairly boring interview. [Just Jared]
• Mick Jagger's daughter Elizabeth is being forced to move out of her New York apartment; the owner decided to put it on the market. Elizabeth will find a new place and paint it black. [Daily Express]
• It's the end of the road for Fox show King Of The Hill: It's not being renewed past its current 13th season. [UPI]
• If you want to see John Mayer sing Stevie Wonder's "Love's In Need Of Love Today" and dedicate it to Barack Obama, click here. [E!]
• In this interview, Quantum Of Solace Bond Girl Olga Kurylenko says stuff like: "I’m not a romantic person" and "Most of my life I’ve been alone" and, growing up in poverty in the little Ukrainian town of Berdyansk, "I ate cabbage my whole childhood. My mother said it was good for my breasts, but I think she lied." [Mirror]
• John McCain on Saturday Night Live this weekend? Maybe. [MSNBC]
• Margaret Cho's had to cancel shows because she is "unbelievably sick." Get well! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which blockbuster director has only himself to blame for his recent burglary? After a hard day of filming, he decided to unwind with a couple of prostitutes who stole his valuables." [Page Six]
• Jennie Garth on the new Melrose Place: "I don't want to do it." Heh. Tell us how you really feel, Jen! [E!]
• Melissa Etheridge's 9-year-old son on California's Proposition 8, which would ban same sex marriage: "Wow, that's lame." From the mouths of babes! [People]
• Punky Brewster Soleil Moon Frye renewed her wedding vows. Damn, her kids are cute. [People]
• Rachael Ray's magazine is totally voting for Obama. [TMZ]
• Ryan Seacrest on Jennifer Hudson: "I always liked her spirit, her strength, her charm, her charisma. She's a strong girl and a special girl." [People]
• Look at this picture of 10-year-old Keira Knightley! She was in a cop show called The Bill. [The Sun]
• Some people are supporting Russell Brand after he was fired for making a nasty joke on his radio show; others are attacking him. [Daily Mail]
• Simon Cowell lost "Most Popular Talent Show Award" at the National Television Awards, so he went out and got drunk. But actually, everyone was drinking, it was an after party. Sheesh. [The Sun]
• Actress Michelle Yeoh and 1,000 Vietnamese children marched in Hanoi yesterday to promote motorcycle helmets. The weird thing is, she's not wearing one in the picture accompanying this story. Maybe so you know she's the star and not a schoolkid? [Yahoo News]
• Sean Connery denies that he's coming out of retirement for one last film. Maybe he could just do some voicemails? Love that Scottish burr! [Daily Express]
• Four ooky, spooky words: Addams Family, The Musical! [NY Mag]
• Financial markets may be down, but the prices of James Bond memorabilia? Up! "License to make a killing." [Reuters]
• "My health is great but there's a wind thing that blows there [in Las Vegas] at different months and I have an allergy to it. If I had cancer everyone would know it. I wouldn't tell them, but somebody would. When you have those kind of things happen if you're famous you can't keep them a secret. [The reports] don't make me angry. People have been saying the weirdest things since I was a teenager." — Cher, on the rumor that she canceled a Caesar's Palace show because she has cancer. [Daily Express]
• "She is very pregnant. I am on call permanently right now. She's at the very end, and it could happen at any point. She (feels) hot all the time. I think she wants to just be not pregnant anymore. It's a struggle to go up and down the stairs. Going out in public is insane." — Pete Wentz, on Ashlee Simpson. [People]
• "It used to be that when you got into the first team then the rewards would come, whereas young kids these days are earning so much money at such a young age. You want that hunger there, you want the hunger to be rewarded. Unfortunately, that's not the case these days. They can all afford to buy their own cars. That's the bad part - to have that at such a young age." — David Beckham, on overpaid young athletes. [Perez Hilton]
• "I'm sure these kids in bands think they're rock stars these days, and I'm sure they are to a certain extent. To me, there's a lot of people making music in bands and there's not so many rock stars around. And I don't know what it is, mate. I think they're trying too fucking hard and it's coming across really fake." — Liam Gallagher. [Rolling Stone]
• "[Marriage licences] should be like dog licences. I think you should have to renew marriage licences, unless you have children. And I think before you have children you should have to go and pass various tests and get a licence to have a child. Because it's the most transformative and difficult thing of your life." — John Cleese. [Telegraph]
• "I think giving birth to a child, as a woman, is what we're born to do. I don't mean that to sound sexist, because many women don't get to do it, and I thought I was one of them. But at the same time, if you are given that gift, it's an extraordinary thing. Bella and Connor are 15 and 13, so we've taken them, Tom and I, almost into their adult life. To then have a birth child that I have to take into adult life, give her her wings, it's a big purpose. I know my place. Put it that way." —Nicole Kidman, talking about Sunday Rose and her other kids, in Parade. [Perez Hilton]
• "I was taken aback when I met her. I thought she was one of the most beautiful women I'd seen. I thought: 'Wow! Whoever goes out with that girl is one lucky guy!' A month into our relationship, she told me she was pregnant, but was no longer with the father. I told her it didn't change the way I felt about her. Apart from being my wife, she's also my best friend." — Seal, on Heidi Klum. [Daily Mail]

• A little too late, Britney Spears regrets allowing her misdemeanor charge for driving without a license to go to trial. Maybe because the jury started deliberating on Friday and Brit realized if found guilty, she faces a maximum of six months in jail. The $1,000 fine? Not that big of a deal. [MSNBC]
• The Spears jury is presently deadlocked. They're split 10-2, but whether they're leaning toward guilt or innocence is not known. [CBS News, People]
• Britney! Live! On Good Morning America! December 2! [Page Six]
• Brit's hired Wade Robson to choreograph her new world tour. He's the one who did the Slave 4 U moves and can't wait to get started. Plus, he says of Brit's problems: "When you exist in a warped world, warped things are going to happen to you." [The Sun]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty are on vacation in Italy. Again. They were just there in July. [People]
• Chevy Chase was not impressed by Sarah Palin on SNL: "Quite frankly, it's a big mistake to let her go on," he says. "What was brilliant about Lorne [Michaels] was that he had nothing written for Sarah and that apparently she cannot improvise herself out of a paper bag!" He also says: "If anything, you just want her to be seen just from a distance. I'm sure she's very bright. But so is the Butterworth woman." [UPI]

• Gwyneth Paltrow on Madonna: "You know, she's a dear friend, and I'm supporting her in all [the] ways that I can. I'm just here for her. I'm just here on the other end of the phone, really. I speak to her a lot." [Us Magazine]
• Trudie Styler on Madonna and Guy: "They're both dear friends of mine and all good things sometimes come to an end. Obviously they've been struggling for a while. I think they're destined to become great pals." [The Sun]
• Guy Ritchie thinks Madonna spies on him. A source says he thinks of the split as "something concocted by the KGB," and told her: "This is a divorce, not the Cold War." [The Sun]
• Meanwhile, Alex Rodriguez was seen in Miami with his wife and daughter. [The Sun]
• The latest is Madonna wants to raise her kids in NYC. [People]
• Do pictures of Tea Leoni hanging out with Billy Bob Thornton prove anything about the state of her marriage at the time? [TMZ]
• Wow, David Duchovny plans to sue Britain's Daily Mail for claiming he cheated on wife Tea Leoni with 28-year-old tennis instructor Edit Pakay. Pakay says she hasn't seen Duchovny since last November and never had a romantic or sexual relationship [with him]." [Rush & Molloy]
• A 19-year-old hacker who published provocative snaps of Miley Cyrus was raided by the FBI Monday morning in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. He'd gained unauthorized access to her Gmail and her MySpace. The guy's also made about $50,000 exploiting an advertising scheme on MySpace. The moral of the story: Change your passwords often! [Wired]
• Scarlett Johansson will host the Nobel Peace Concert on Dec. 11 due to her "compassion and influence." [Yahoo News]
• Prosecutors in the Raffaello Follieri case are urging the judge to give him more than the four years in prison agreed to in his plea deal. They say he "committed crimes out of greed and a desire to live a lifestyle like the rich and famous." [AP]
• Joe Biden was on Ellen and called Proposition 8 "regressive" and "unfair." [SF Gate]
• Tom Cruise took son Connor (member him?) to see Tina Turner in concert last week, and after the show, Tom went to a dinner for Tina. Private dancer! [Page Six]
• Victoria Beckham, wedding planner! Melanie "Sporty Spice" Chisholm has asked Vicky to help plan her ceremony to fiancé Thomas Starr. Expect crisp white everything. [Pop Dirt]
• Kristin Cavallari of Lauguna Beach is hooking up with hot hottie Chris Evans of Fantastic Four. [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton hearts London. "I love the Brits, they rock! Everything from their personalities, style and of course the accents. I'd love to live here one day." Don't let us stop you! [Daily Mail]
• Venus and Serena Williams are posing in evening gowns on a tennis court for November's Bazaar. Click for pix! [Concrete Loop]
• Hugh Grant has dropped out of a romantic comedy called Lost For Words. He would have played a British actor approached to star in a movie by a Chinese director with whom he falls in love after a brief flirtation with her translator; Ziyi Zhang was cast in the role of the director. Hugh Grant will be replaced by a cocker spaniel, who promises to be as floppy and charming. [UPI]
• Eminem on that 2002 MTV Awards where he was seated in front of Moby and had a showdown with Triumph The Insult Comic Dog: He was drunk. [Rush & Molloy]
• Pamela Anderson was seen leaving a plastic surgery center with a bandage on her chest. What does it mean? [Perez Hilton]
• Gillian Anderson gave birth to a son last week, whom she named Felix. Her first son's name is Oscar. Her very own Odd Couple. Gillian also has a daughter named Piper. [Reuters, ET]
• The driver of a car in which Mary-Kate Olsen was riding backed into an an El Pollo Loco delivery vehicle in West Hollywood. M-K was out furniture shopping at the time. [TMZ]
• Teen Dream Zac Efron will be in Pirates Of The Caribbean 4. Disney's got to "groom" a successor for Johnny Depp. Not that you can replace Johnny Depp. Especially not with a dude from a teen musical. [The Sun]
• Here's a video of a Faberge egg that belonged to Princess Grace. It's making its first public appearance at the Clevland Museum. [Forbes]
• A burger restaurant in New York has a huge Andy Warhol hanging by the takeout window; guess who is pissed off? The Campbell's Soup people. They say the art makes it "seem that the restaurant is affiliated with or sponsored by Campbell in some way." [Page Six]
• Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora were together Saturday night — for the sake of daughter Ava, who was celebrating her 11th birthday. [TMZ]
• Here's a story all about the drug habits of the Rolling Stones. (Mick Jagger's been clean for years; Ronnie Wood and Keith Richards, on the other hand, were "permanently fuelled by a combination of cocaine and alcohol.") [The Sun]
• Sting received a kiss — described as a "terrifying snog" — from Little Britain transvestite character Emily Howard; aka David Walliams. [Mirror]
• Bond Girl Ursula Andress has suffered from osteoporosis for the last eight years: "My doctor told me that I had to take medication to save my way of life. I find it so strange because I had no pain, no warning. But that is the nature of the disease. You carry on as normal and you don't realise that your bone is becoming like glass." [Daily Mail]
• John Cleese: Baffled by the curtains in his California hotel room. [The Sun]
• Hmm, a blogger accused of leaking songs from the long-delayed Guns N' Roses album Chinese Democracy has pleaded not guilty to violating federal copyright laws. He could get three years in prison if convicted. Does this mean the album may actually get released??? [AP]
• Fergie, the Duchess of York, probably won't get married again: Her daughters don't want her to. She also says of Prince Andrew: "He said I must never say this, but he said, 'We are divorced to each other, not from each other.' We are the happiest unmarried couple." [Daily Mail]
• Ricky Gervais has an idea for an Extras Christmas special. He misses Extras more than The Office and says: "Andy Millman was more real than David Brent by the end of the show and I loved Maggie Jacobs - she was the best character we've ever come up with." [The Star]
• Katy Perry, whose single "I Kissed A Girl" has more than five million worldwide sales, says she really has kissed a girl. "Of course. I think I was 19. I kissed a girl and it was great." [The Star]
• Tim McGraw has co-written a book about a dad and his daughter, just hanging out. He says dads should bond with daughters, but not by getting pedicures or shopping: "Do what you have to do in your regular routine and take them with you. It makes all the difference in the world." [Yahoo News]
• Robert De Niro's hotel got a bad review. You talkin to me? [Jossip]
• Jamie King has been dealing with a stalker, and had to get protection from the cops. "It's very real and he was very aggressive," says a source. "He had recently escaped from a mental institute. It was scary." [E!]
• Apparently the cover of OK! with Jordan breaking up with husband Peter Andre was a trick/joke. [Perez Hilton]
• Daniel Craig is backing a £2 million campaign to fund a new lifeboat station near his childhood home. [Telegraph]
• Hulk Hogan's son: Out of jail. [AP]
• "You can’t ignore divorce rates. Every friend of mine has parents who are divorced. I didn’t go into it with Max thinking, 'This is going to last forever.' But I did go into it thinking, 'I love him right now and I know that I will continue to love him for a long while.'" — Peaches Geldof, 19, on her quickie marriage to Max Drummey. [Perez Hilton]
• "She said that small towns, that's the part of the country she really likes going to because that's the pro-America part of the country. You know, I just want to say to her, just very quickly: Fuck you." — Jon Stewart on Sarah Palin. [Perez Hilton]
• "In writing my memoirs, I have made a great many observations about myself and my sister Madonna. I will not be commenting on her divorce as that is a private matter between her and Guy Ritchie and would consider any commentary on my part dishonorable and disrespectful." — Christopher Ciccone. [MSNBC]
• "I’d never work out and lose weight if the part called for it. I’d say, 'that’s not the film for me.' It’s not real life, it’s ludicrous. If you fall for someone because they’ve got a jawline and a chest and they’re brain dead it won’t last! In life, real people fall for nice people all the time and Hollywood denies that a bit. That’s what I brought over from Britain." — Ricky Gervais. [The Sun]