Today in Tweet Beat, Kirstie Alley doesn't have a sense of humor when it comes to John Travolta and Tom Cruise. Plus, some celebs are offering to take Regis' job.

• Eva Longoria Parker has filed divorce papers, though just yesterday she insisted she and Tony Parker were fine. Eva told BFF Mario Lopez that Tony was cheating, and he reports: "She is devastated, she wants us all to know that..."

The only truly bad thing about The Hills coming to an end is that it means Joel McHale's Soup commentary on the show has come to an end as well. Naturally, The Soup bid the show farewell in spectacular fashion.

This particular WTF comes in the form of a video game launch: 'Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell Conviction' launch at L.A.'s Les Deux. The weirdness is compounded by a rogue's gallery of guests — and did we mention Bai Ling?

• In an interview Michael Lohan responded to Lindsay Lohan calling him her "ex-father" on Twitter saying, "maybe she's divorcing me today, but she'll remarry me once she gets her life back."

Though she didn't end up winning an Oscar, Gabourey Sidibe did end up celebrating her Oscars experience, and taking home an "award" of her own, while visiting Joel McHale on the latest episode of The Soup.

The 60th annual ACE Eddie Awards at the Beverly Hilton Hotel hit on Valentine's day, which maybe explains why Gabourey Sidibe and friends were all in loved-up shades?

In this issue of Female Force's illustrated biographies, Barbara Walters must overcome sexism by dancing in a black negligee and don superhero tights (literally) to save defenseless damsel Elisabeth Hasselbeck from her greatest foe: "Morbidly obese" supervillian Rosie O'Donnell.

• "Simon has that naughty look in his eye. He isn't my type, but he is so charismatic and charming and the ladies go for the whole power thing. I know a lot of celebs have crushes on him."-Rihanna [TheSun]

• Someone's been arrested in the Lindsay Lohan home burglary case — and it's not Lindsay Lohan!

• While filming a movie in London, a female fan snuck past security guards and climbed into the back seat of a car with Colin Farrell. A source says, "Colin went crazy and started screaming like someone had shot him..."

Anyone who watches The Soup knows that Joel McHale and the crew have a love/hate relationship with Tyra Banks that results in hilarity for the rest of us. After the jump, "America's Next Top Tyra."

The Christian Bale Tirade has produced an endless amount of spoofs, and today we bring you two of our favorites, from our Jezebel super crush Joel McHale at The Soup and hilarious comedian Sara Benincasa.

[Miami Beach, FL. January 24. Image via WENN.]