• Trouble a-brewin in Los Angeles! Apparently Nicole Richie is thrilled that Paris Hilton and Benji Madden broke up, because Nicole "never thought Paris was ever really into" Benji. Nicole also told her boyfriend's identical twin brother that he "deserves better." Burn! [Star]
• Speaking of Paris! She wants to take her breathy baby voice and use it to play Tinkerbell in a Disney live action movie based on the famous sprite. According to a source, "Paris has worked on her acting chops lately and showed some comedy prowess in her YouTube spoof of running for president. Disney suits saw it and think she may be developing some comedic-actress potential." But people were laughing at her, not with her. [Daily Express]

• Britney's husband of two minutes, Jason Alexander, was arrested for ditching his court appointed trips to the morgue. According to TMZ, "After Alexander was busted for DUI back in 2006, the judge ordered the 27-year-old to go to an alcohol education program, which required him to visit the local morgue. When the judge learned Alexander had ditched his first 2 appointments, he refused to give him a third chance and promptly chucked him in the slammer." [TMZ]
• Jada Pinkett insists that she and Will Smith are totes normal. "We are not perfect. We have bad days, just like any other couple. I tell Will all the time what makes you perfect are your imperfections." Yawn. [Daily Express]
• Olympic beach volleyball champ Kerri Walsh is expecting her first baby. Sayeth People: "What could be better than winning an Olympic gold medal? Becoming a mom, of course!" [People]
• Iggy Pop is so over New York and L.A., and thus picked up and moved to Miami. "I was fed up after 25 years in huge, dark, media-centric cities. I decided to find a house and move here. I was looking for something in a kind of elegant coma with a lot of peace and convenience," the Popster says. [CNN]
• Twilight hottie Robert Pattinson is overwhelmed by the screaming tweens who stalk him. "I didn't know anything about the hype when I was making it so now I just turn up and literally I used to get so stressed out because people are screaming at you. And you just think 'What do I have to do? I cant give anything back to you at all.'" [Daily Express]
• File under things that make you go hmmm: Gossip queen Ted Casablancas is wondering why no one ever followed up on the story about Diane Lane calling 911 on her volatile husband, Josh Brolin. He says he pressed Lane's PR folks on the matter more than once and has come up empty. [E! Online]
• Sources say that Johnny Depp will play Dante in a forthcoming film based on the Fourteenth Century scribe. The biopic will be about Dante's struggle to write the Divine Comedy.[Daily Express]
• What does Emma Thompson admire most in a person? "The ability to laugh in the face of disaster. Every joke is a form of rebellion. Mark Twain said that only laughter can blow nonsense 'to rags and atoms at a blast.'" [Reader's Digest]
• Why did Details think it would be cool to make Keri Russell look like an OD-ing heroin addict in this photoshoot? [Egotastic]
• Is A-Rod already cheating on her Madgesty? Sources say the Rod is obsessed with model Melissa Britos. [Perez]
• Though there were rumors that NeNe from Real Housewives of Atlanta was evicted, she is denying all that noise. "Everybody knows that I like to be honest, real and upfront. If something was wrong, I would tell you… please know that my family continues to be abundantly blessed, and that Miss NeNe has not skipped a beat!” [People]

Beverly Hills, CA. November 22. Image via Filmmagic.

[Beverly Hills, November 13. Image via INFDaily.]

[Los Angeles, October 26. Image via x17]

[Los Angeles, October 9. Image via x17]

[Malibu, September 2. Image via Splash.]

• First Class lounges aren't really exclusive enough for Jennifer Lopez anymore, but she's got a resourceful fix: she slips through a mysterious unmarked door in the lounge, giving the illusion she is entering some platinum VIP area, when really she's just hiding in a storage closet. Yeah, I couldn't have made that shit up either. [MSNBC]
• Oh shit, and this JUST HAPPENED: so maybe JLo was just avoiding getting served with the $5 million lawsuit filed by the flight attendant her guard dog attacked. [TMZ]
• But a subpoena in that 1999 nightclub shooting — shit, it sucks when you realize something that feels forever ago actually was forever ago — found her! [NY Post]
• Verne Troyer is suing TMZ for $20 million over that sex tape thing. Not because it's a sex tape, but for copyright reasons. Show of hands: did anyone actually watch the clip of this? I really don't think he lost too many otherwise paying customers. If amateur midget porn is what you're into is a little clip really going to sate you? [TMZ]
• Bill Clinton and Oprah Winfrey ran into each other at Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday party but sources say it didn't seem like they had much to say to one another. [Page Six]
• Will Anne Hathaway put aside the hurt she feels and save the poor puppy Raffaello Follieri can no longer afford to have walked? Well, Anne?? [Page Six]

• And speaking of our dashing Italian Vati-con, some socialite is pissed she invited him and Anne to some event and they paid for tickets and never showed up. Cry me a fucking river, Lauren Vernon. [NY Post]
• Babyshambles is pulling out of the Glastonbury Festival. [Guardian]
• Amy Winehouse is…still planning on performing! [Telegraph]
• "I do not speak to those two. First of all, he drinks too much. And is very insulting. And they are not invited to my July Fourth party in the Hamptons, which is very big and which is my fifth annual and which everybody wants to come to. She and I will keep doing the show, of course, but I will have nothing to do with her otherwise." Now, I know it's summer, when Cindy Adams devotes an entire column about a group of reality stars who actually fess up to making less than $1,000 a show, but this column is seriously kind of awesome. [NY Post]
• You can take Donda West's surgeon off your list of "Notorious Hollywood Plastic surgeons most likely to be nabbed on DUI charges" now. [AP]
• If you haven't already heard about this from that one guy you know who could die happy if only for another Phish Reunion tour, well…Phish might be reuniting. [Reuters]
• Will Smith's Fourth of July movie sounds reaaally promising. [Fox News]
• Jessica Biel is looking kind of gaunt and French these days, like she's taken up an unhealthy lifestyle or something, and I mean that in the best way possible. [People]
• Engaged: Uma Thurman, to some "financier." [He's Elle Macpherson's ex! -Ed.] [NY Daily News]
• Engaged and actually planning to wed: Portia to Ellen. [NY Daily News]
  Engaged and not actually planning to wed: Joel Madden to Nicole Richie. [People]

• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden did not get married this weekend, despite reports by Star magazine that they were having a $2 million wedding. But! Joel did post fake wedding pictures on his band's blog with a message that read: "I've been getting calls and texts from my family all week asking me why they weren't invited to my wedding. I guess the only answer I could give them was that I didn't know we were having one." In the pix, he and Nicole are gorillas. [E!]
• Amy Winehouse agreed to sing at the party of a Russian billionaire, but when she showed up in Moscow, she was "in no condition" to appear on stage. Organizers spent two hours trying to pull her together, and a source says "she put on a terrific show." [Rush & Molloy]
• You may have heard that Scarlett Johansson and Barack Obama have an e-mail relationship: But did you know that Scarlett's brother Hunter works for the senator? [Page Six]
• M.I.A., whom this paper calls a "lady rapper," is engaged! Check out her bling. [Rush & Molloy]
• Tim Russert's heart was enlarged. [People]

• Ashanti says that she and Nelly are "good friends," who might get engaged in the future. [People]
• Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong: Hanging out in Canada, where Lance was in a fund-raising bike ride. [People]
• NCIS actress Pauley Perrette is asking the public to help find her missing friend. "Her purse was found at one end of Runyon Canyon with all the contents in it; her jewelry was found in another part of Runyon Canyon," says Perrette. [E!]
• This picture of David Beckham talking to Didier Mbenga of the L.A. Lakers is high-larious. [ONTD]
• Has Lily Allen given up partying??? [Mirror]
• Princess Eugenie: Seen frolicking naked on school grounds. [Daily Mail]
• Snoop Dogg's wife was busted for DUI over the weekend, and from the looks of her mugshot, she was wasted! [TMZ]
• Kid Rock was hospitalized for stomach cramps and dehydration over the weekend. [TMZ]
• At her baby shower, pregnant 24 actress Mary Lynn Rajskub jumped into the swimming pool to beat the heat. [People]
• Mary-Louise Parker broke her toe during a love scene for Weeds. "I smashed it on the bed frame," she says. [People]
• Britney Spears and Kevin Federline were both in Vegas over the weekend, though they apparently didn't run into each other. Kev was honored as Father Of The Year; Brit had father's day dinner with her dad. Where were the kids? [People]
• Sean Connery was in the hospital Friday for a fractured ankle he suffered while playing golf. How does that happen? Don't you just hit the ball as far as you can and then get in a little car and chase it? [Star]
• A Hindu leader wants Mike Meyer's new movie, The Love Guru, to have an NC-17 rating. Says Bhavna Shinde: "From the information available about the movie, it appears to be mocking and ridiculing Hinduism, Hindu philosophy, ashram life, Hindu concepts and terminology, Gurus, etc. Cinema is a powerful medium and it can create stereotypes in the minds of some audiences, especially in the minds of younger audiences, who are passing through an impressionable phase." [Punjab Newsline]
• Is actor Michael Madsen is being a total pain in the ass on his new movie? [Rush & Molloy]
• What are all of the kids from the School Of Rock now? Find out! [ONTD]
• Legendary actor Richard Dreyfuss: Seem "ogling the bare-breasted talent" at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club. [Page Six]
• Is anyone sorta curious about Kit Kittredge: An American Girl'? Starring Abigail Breslin? At the premiere, Abigail said, "I'm excited to see all the girls, and welcome the boys who come too!" Boys? Really? [ET]
• Keira Knightley's mom says Keira is not anorexic, and that she "eats like a horse." "She has always been thin. She's her daddy's daughter, with his long body." [The Sun]
• The Sun has apologized for a false story it printed about Rhys Ifans punching Sienna Miller's friend and co-star Matthew Rhys. [The Sun]
• Dr. Oz from Oprah — getting his own show. [UPI]
• Does Hugh Laurie have a Burger King Gold Card? Does he get limitless supply of free burgers? Do all celebs get one? So. Jealous. Hate to miss a Whopportnity. [ONTD]

[Los Angeles, June 10. Image via INFDaily.]

[Hollywood, May 18. Image via x17.]

• Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo: Dunzo! [TMZ]
  
• OMG. Was Joel Madden flirting with Lindsay Lohan? Apparently Nicole Richie was home with the baby and Joel was out when Paris Hilton sent Nic a text: "Lindsay was all over Joel!" Nicole tried calling and Joel didn't pick up. Is this how it's gonna be? [Star]
  
• Lindsay Lohan's father thinks someone is supplying LL with drugs and Janet Charlton has posted a picture of LL with Samantha Ronson with the words, "Michael, the answer could be right under your nose - or better still, Lindsay's nose." [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
  
• Is Mariah Carey pregnant? Apparently someone from her camp called famed L.A. baby boutique Petit Trésor and asked about (wait for it...) butterflies. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Mariah and new hubby Nick rented out Six Flags Magic Mountain last night so they could have a wedding celebration with their homies. Roller coasters? Just like MC's "Fantasy" video. Which came out in 1995. When Mariah was 25. And Nick Cannon was 15. Not that it matters. [TMZ]
  
• Oh, wait: Nick had the theme park shut down as a surprise for Mariah. That is sweet. These two just might melt your cold cold heart. [ET]
  
• John Mayer had a show in Orlando last night and totally kissed Jennifer Aniston backstage between songs. [People]

• Did Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker avoid each other at the Sex And The City premiere after-party?
• Britney Spears hit a red Ford Explorer last night. Just a fender-bender. [TMZ]
• And Britney's "tummy" looks "swollen" so now there are pregnancy rumors. Same old, same old. [Mirror]
• Pete Doherty played his first post-jail gig last night and thanked fans for their support while he was inside. It would have been awesome if he'd started playing Johnny Cash's "Folsom Prison Blues." [Mirror]
• Uh-oh: David Thomson, Canada's richest man, has split with his fiancée, former O.C. actress Kelly Rowan, just weeks after she gave birth to his child. WTF. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which star of an upcoming blockbuster flick is a huge cad despite his image as a family man? Word is the actor is getting a little too touchy-feely with the ladies." [Rush & Molloy]
• Some conservative media whatchmacallit doesn't like Barbara Walters spilling her guts about her adulterous affair in her new book. "Barbara Walters is a shameless media whore," says Marc Dice of The Resistance. "Barbara has now sunk to the very level of other attention-starved celebrities such as Paris Hilton or even Steve-O from 'Jackass.'" Yeah... No.[Page Six]
• Ashley Olsen was seen on a date with an actor named Justin Bartha. Just so you know. [Page Six]
• Someone crushed Amanda Peet's baby stroller on an Amtrak train on Mother's Day. Boo. [Page Six]
• Does Diddy drink his own vodka, or does he prefer Malibu rum and pineapple? [Page Six]
• Two members of the '60s group The Turtles are suing Capitol Records over an Ice Cube song that samples their tunes. Cube's gonna have to shell out some dough, heh heh. [TMZ]
• Jennie Garth has signed on for the 90210 remake; now Tori Spelling is in talks to join the cast. Donna Martin graduates! [People]
• This is an actual headline: "Brody, Spencer Rekindle Their Bromance." Blerg. Brody Jenner has signed on to star in his own "unscripted" MTV series and it's possible that Spencer Pratt could be on the show. And yeah, the show is called Bromance. Try not to hurl. [E!]
• Actor James Garner (The Rockford Files, The Notebook) was hospitalized after suffering a minor stroke. [E!]
• Carmen Electra and her new fiancé Rob Patterson are already on the rocks, yawn. [Perez Hilton]
• Madonna is copying Oprah! She plans to build a school for girls in Malawi. [Reuters]
• Marisa Miller, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel are the hottest women in the world, according to the testosterone-fueled jackasses at Maxim. Just be blonde with big boobs and no hips or thighs and you, too can be on their pointless list. [People]
• Kim Kardashian and her siblings deny that they ran up more than $120,000 in charges on Brandy's credit card. This was back when Kim was a "stylist" and not whatever she is now. [People]
• Prepare yourself: Rumer Willis may be releasing a CD. [Perez Hilton]
• Ludacris went back to his old high school in Atlanta to find they'd painted his likeness in a mural and named the gym after him. [AP]
• Monty Python's John Cleese was ordered to pay his estranged wife £77,500 a month but he says his divorce from her is "worth every penny." [Telegraph]
• Is there another Marlon Brando love child? [Page Six]
• If you like Ed Westwick, Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass, you should click here. [ONTD]
• "All the men that like me are gay. It's true. I have a really strong gaydar. I do love gay men though." — Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. [The Sun]

[Hollywood, April 29. Image via x17]

• The new issue of Vanity Fair isn't out yet, but Miley Cyrus is already warning fans that she's mortified of the semi-topless pictures of herself inside. "I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed," she says. A starlet's first shameful shoot is a tale as old as time and a rite of passage, no? [Us Magazine]
  
• The Disney Channel, which airs Miley's hit show, Hannah Montana, says: "Unfortunately... A situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines." [People]
  
• Ooooh here's a shot. Provocative? It's Annie Leibovitz, of course. She's really been controversial lately. [E!]
  
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt did attend the White House Correspondents dinner on Saturday night. They sat at Fortune magazine's table. Other tidbits from that night: Colin Firth couldn't get into the Bloomberg party; Kal Penn (aka Kumar of Harold & Kumar) hung with Salman Rushie and claims he doesn't actually smoke weed; Pete Wentz shouted, "I just want to thank my girlfriend's vagina!" before he started DJing. Stay classy, D.C.! [Page Six]

• And a reader texted us from a cell phone: "Heidi & spencer are sitting behind me @ the whca dinner. Verrry touchy."
• Owen Wilson: Partying in Miami with Richie Sambora and Vince Vaughn. Just like old times! [People]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer: Went on a date in Miami. You know, they might actually be great together. [People]
• Oooh, Sheryl Crow set them up. [Enquirer]
• Joel Madden surprised Nicole Richie with a trip to the California desert for the Coachella music festival, and they brought the baby. Not to the show, to the desert. [People]
• Meanwhile: Paris Hilton and Benji Madden might actually get married. Making Paris and Nicole sisters-in-law. It's surreal, isn't it? [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse is not getting a divorce from Blake Incarcerated, despite the rumors (which we haven't heard.) [People]
• Amy's out of jail, btw, after being arrested for allegedly slapping a dude. [E!]
• Oh, wait! Amy "bonked" Blake Wood! Also known as Blake II. A source says "you could hear them down the hall." [The Sun]
• And um, this paper claims Amy has a new lover named Alex Haines. Damn, girl. [Mirror]
• Paul McCartney is "writing" a coffee table book which will contain hundreds of photos taken by his late wife Linda. [Mirror]
• Joyce Carol Oates is writing a fictionalized version of the death of pageant girl JonBenet Ramsey. [Page Six]
• Oprah's interview with Tom Cruise — which will air next week — includes her asking him about Scientology, couch-jumping and Matt Lauer. [E!]
• Tom Cruise took Connor and Isabella to see David Beckham play for the L.A. Galaxy on Saturday. No Katie, no Suri. Shocking, I know. Try and collect yourself. [TMZ]
• Ashley Dupre, Eliot Spitzer's call girl, has signed up with a top music manager, but the record labels they've been pitching have turned them down. Oh, and apparently she can't do anything that generates income until she works out a deal regarding potential charges. [Gatecrasher]
• Oh, Christ: A superfan who has seen Spamalot 40 times thinks Clay Aiken is "the savior." As in Jesus. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which methed-up TV personality tells British pals: "I always know I'm home when I see the Albert Bridge [in London], because I'm just minutes from my drug dealer's place!" [Gatecrasher]
• Fans at a Bon Jovi concert in Sunrise, FL were evacuated due to a bomb threat. Cuz they're wanted, (waaanted) dead or alive. [TMZ]
• Country singer Kenny Chesney hurt his foot at a concert in South Carolina but continued his show. His boot had to be cut off after the show, ouch. [USA Today]
• Ashley Judd's husband, Dario Franchitti, was involved in a NASCAR crash over the weekend. He wasn't injured but his car was smashed up. [Perez Hilton]
• Guy Ritchie hasn't been traveling with Madonna because someone has to stay home with the African kid while the adoption investigation is ongoing. [Perez Hilton]

[Los Angeles, April 23. Image via Flynet.]

• Lindsay Lohan: Protective of lady love Samantha Ronson. A source says "Ashley Olsen said hello to Sam at [NYC hotspot Beatrice Inn], and Lindsay screamed at her, 'Get your 15-year-old Full House ass away from my girlfriend.'" [Page Six]
  
• And don't forget! Even though LL was in AA, she downed vodka cocktails all night. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Here's how Lindsay looked on her way home: Drunk. [ONTD]
  
• Ali Lohan will make her screen debut in Mostly Ghostly, a flick based on an R.L. Stine book. She'll play a "popular high school senior." A mean girl maybe? [People]
  
• Emma "Hermione Granger" Watson celebrated her 18th birthday by flashing her see-through underwear to paparazzi. [Page Six]

• Whitney Houston attended a boxing match in Las Vegas Saturday night and was "practically carried in by her staff." Plus, her people "snapped their fingers, saying 'Whitney needs a waitress!'" Once a diva, always a diva. [Page Six]
• Heiress/model Lydia Hearst: Joining the cast of Gossip Girl? OMFG. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which celebrity stylist, who should know better, has been blabbing in L.A. that a particular designer has tumbled off the wagon - again?" [Gatecrasher]
• Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz had a double date with Nicole Richie and Joel Madden last week. Tattoos, flat-ironed hair and skinny jeans unite! [E!]
• Suri Cruise turned 2 on April 18 and her party was low-key: Coloring, cake, bowling. [MSNBC]
• Connor Cruise, the Tom and Nicole kid you never hear about, will make his film debut in an upcoming Will Smith movie. Connor will play a young version of Will and allegedly had to audition, even though Tom and Will are buddies. Well, he got the part, praise Xenu. [People]
• Dave Chappelle's former manager is suing him for 10% of the cash Dave's made since he fired the guy in 2005. Mo money, mo problems. [TMZ]
• David Hasselhoff was in the hospital over the weekend because stitches above his eye opened up and he was bleeding. America's got sutures. [TMZ]
• Jordin Sparks had "acute vocal cord hemorrhage" this weekend, igniting rumors that she'd never sing again. Even though she's canceled a bunch of tour dates, she should be back on the road in May. [TMZ]
• Gail O'Grady of NYPD Blue owes Caesars Palace $160,000 and Bally's $75,000 in gambling debts. What happens in Vegas stays on your credit report. [TMZ]
• Kanye West's former fiancée is "sad" about their broken engagement, but Alexis Phifer says, "I wish him the best in his future and all of his endeavors. He's one of the most talented people I've ever met." [People]
• Ewan McGregor had a skin cancer scare and had some moles removed. "I went to have them checked because you have to be careful if you are pale skinned with moles and you spend time in the sun." [Mirror]
• In attendance at Victoria Beckham's birthday party Saturday night: Kate Beckinsale, Eva Longoria, Gwen Stefani, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, Diddy, Will Smith, Gavin Rossdale, Usher and Elton John. [The Sun]
• Terrence "baby wipes" Howard hosted a listening session for his debut album yesterday. Yeah, he sings. He began writing songs at age 16 in his "rainbow colored notebook." The album has a jazzy, big band feel but no word if there are any songs about the "serious problem" of women being unclean. [People]
• Platinum country music artist Taylor Swift went to her senior prom Saturday night. Her date was chosen from 50 applicants via MTV but Taylor says "He was unbelievably sweet." [People]
• Supermodel and ex-wife of Mick Jagger Jerry Hall is revealing that growing up, her father was violent, physically and verbally abusive. [Mirror]
• Antonia Kidman, sister of Nicole, won the Favorite Female Personality prize at an Australian TV awards show. She hosts a program called From Here To Maternity. [News.com.au]
• Thirteen year old Lourdes Ciccone Leon wants to live in New York with daddy Carlos. Haha. Will Madonna's seamy New York past live again, through her daughter? [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Meanwhile, Madonna's new single went to No. 1 on both sides of the Atlantic and the headline of this story is: "Madonna: More Clout Than The Beatles, All By Herself... And Wearing Heels." [Times]
• David Blaine is in training to break the world record for breath-holding. BTW, he's not just a magician, he's an "endurance artist." So. [NY Times]
• Did Heather Mills lie about having a sad childhood? [The Sun]
• A Wendy Williams talk show? Sounds crazy, in a good way. [Variety]
• "I'm late all the time. I have no perception of time. Time is for white people. It doesn't work with me." — Erykah Badu. [Perez Hilton]

[Prague, April 3. Image via Splash.]

[Beverly Hills, March 3. Image via x17.]

• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden were seen partying Grammy weekend, so some random source says, "It's almost as if they aren't parents." Kind of a cheap shot. But yeah, the nanny is apparently working overtime. Mom and dad need to party! [Page Six]
  
• Guess who was on the set when Lindsay Lohan posed nude for Bert Stern's Marilyn Monroe-inspired New York magazine shoot? Not momager Dina, but 14-year-old little sis, Ali. Picking up tips on how to behave? [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Dad Jamie tells Britney's new bodyguards not to let her go to a bar or bathroom alone. Also, when she left a restaurant Saturday, she took a cup of coffee with her. [Page Six]
  
• Britney's ongoing custody case reconvenes in court today. First order of business: Who will rep Brit? The firm of Trope and Trope bailed. [E!]
  
• If you find Bindi Irwin vaguely terrifying, wait until you see her doll. [TMZ]

• Meanwhile, Robert Irwin, 4-year-old son of Steve, was bitten by a baby boa constrictor. "He said, 'I hope it wasn't venomous,'" his mom claims. (It wasn't.) [AP]
• Blind item! "The sobriety of which troubled starlet probably isn't being helped by the fact that her uncle deals weed out of the spare room in her mom's house?" [Gatecrasher]
• Jessica Simpson appears in a workout video, but she doesn't want you to see it! Even though she signed a multimillion dollar contract, she changed her mind and refused to give final approval. Speedfit is suing Jess and her dadager. Hey, it can't be any worse than Blonde Ambition. [Page Six]
• Do Michael Bolton's kids hate his fiancée Nicolette Sheridan? Do you care? [Rush & Molloy]
• Desperate Housewives' Marcia Cross's pregnancy: Life-threatening! "My eyesight started going, and I gained 12 pounds in one week," she says. "Both are symptoms of preeclampsia, a complication that is life-threatening for mother and baby. Within 12 hours of being diagnosed - at 35 weeks - I had a C-section." She now has twins, Eden and Savannah. [Rush & Molly]
• The new season of Dancing With The Stars will feature tennis star Moncia Seles, actress Shannon Elizabeth, magician Penn Jillette, actress Marlee Matlin and TV "personality" Adam Carolla, among others. Click for the full list! [People]
• Spencer Pratt on Heidi Montang's new album: "Madonna, eat your heart out. Britney Spears, eat your heart out. I would say we have diamond records coming - they're gonna sell 10-million plus." LOL. [People]
• Scarlett Johansson: "I learned I was a sexual being through David Bowie's songs." Thanks for sharing! [Mirror]
• Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson spent Valentine's evening together? Drinking at a pub? Harry + Hermione = ♥! [Mirror]
• There's a Bon Jovi documentary in the works, people. Who wants to bet it will be called Livin' On A Prayer? [UPI]
• "I feel at great pain when the spotlight is on the death of 4,000 American soldiers, while 600,000 Iraqi deaths are ignored. War is not a movie, it is a tragedy of dead bodies, victims, the disabled, orphans, widows and the displaced." — Sharon Stone. [AP]
• The driver of The Spice Girls' tour bus saw a car driving erratically. He called 911; it turned out to be a carjacking. The Spice Girls (and their driver) save the day! [AP]
• Oh! And The Spice Girls want to play Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday in June. Not that they've been asked. Yet. [Reuters]
• Brooke Shields' mother tells the National Enquirer that she's disappointed in Brooke and liked ex-husband Andre Agassi better than current hubs Chris Henchy. Sigh. [MSNBC]
• Pictures of Jennifer Lopez' twins will be on People in the US, but OK! internationally. [MSNBC]
• Monopoly, kitchen edition! Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia will acquire Emeril Lagasse's media and licensed properties. [Wall Street Journal]
• Mandy Moore's always been afraid of going on vacation alone. But she did it and had a great time, so is now the chair of uPumpItUp.com, a site aimed at helping women balance their "wellness." [Reuters]
• Olivia Newton-John is planning to walk along the Great Wall of China to raise money for a cancer charity. Does part of you wish she would do the walk in tight shiny black pants while singing, "You better shape up/cuz I need a man/And my heart is set on you..." ? [Reuters]

• Fergie: Pregnant? Sources say she and Josh Duhamel are moving up the wedding date because she doesn't want the bump to be too obvious. Honestly, she did seem a wee soft in the face when she was singing with John Legend at the Grammys, but it looked good. [Page Six]
  
• Also on Grammy night: Dita Von Teese was seen "getting snuggly" with Backstreet Boy A.J. McLean? Wait, what? [Page Six]
  
• And Lindsay Lohan Paris Hilton was seen "aggressively trying" to get with John Mayer. Sigh. [Page Six]
  
• Is Britney going on a world tour? A source says she'll train for a month and then leave the country, getting away from her "friend" Sam Lutfi and boyfriend Adnan Ghalib. [Page Six]
  
• Meanwhile, Britney's father got permission to fire her business manager, whom he does not trust. [People]
  
• Although taking control of her finances is tough, because Britney is an adult. [Newsweek]
  
• Lenny Kravitz is in the hospital with severe bronchitis. Get well! [Reuters]

• Ryan Phillippe says his divorce from Reese Witherspoon was "the darkest, saddest place I had ever been" and he couldn't get out of bed for four or five months. [People]
• Uma Thurman: "I'd like more children. I asked the doctor, she said there's still time. I still have the sippy cups." [Page Six]
• The authors of the latest Anna Nicole Smith book are suing their publisher. It's always something. [Gatecrasher]
• Though all of the Spice Girls were in New York this weekend, Posh partied without Ginger, Baby, Sporty and Scary. What happened to "friendship never ends"? [Gatecrasher]
• Nicolas Cage is suing Kathleen Turner for writing that he was arrested twice for DUI and possibly stealing a Chihuahua. "I have never been arrested for anything in my life, nor have I stolen a dog," Nic says. [Rush & Molloy]
• Entourage star Kevin Connolly either did or did not jump some guy at a nightclub and pummel him in the head. The guy filed charges but then called the sheriff's office and said "never mind." [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton dropped her cat at the vet two weeks ago and has yet to pick her up; the woman she adopted the cat from says the cat is now abandoned. But! This seems to be a publicity stunt for the woman's foundation. So whatever. [People]
• Natalie Cole on Amy Winehouse: "I don't think she should have won. I think it sends a bad message to our young people... We have to stop rewarding bad behavior." [People]
• Joel Madden says baby Harlow is a "mama's girl." He also says Nicole Richie is "a wonderful mother and looks really hot already... There's something so attractive about her now. It's a motherly glow." Aw, a compliment wrapped in an insult, sweet! [People]
• Miley Cyrus' new movie features a scene where she's riding in the back seat of a Range Rover — without a seat belt. SCANDAL. [USA Today]
• Sienna Miller told a British court she felt hunted and in a "threatening situation" when paparazzi chased her car across London in an attempt to find out where she lived. One day one of these aggro-pap stories is going to end very badly. [USA Today]
• On the 25th anniversary of Thriller, Michael Jackson thanks his fans and promises new music. Meanwhile, the old stuff is awesome! [USA Today]
• Relive some Michael Jackson memories here. [Rolling Stone]
• Michelle Williams is back in New York after attending Heath Ledger's funeral in Australia. [People]
• John Ritter's family is suing the doctors who treated him before he died; attorneys say because Ritter never got a chest X-ray, he got the wrong treatment, leading to his death. [Reuters]
• Gwyneth Paltrow may adopt a baby from Brooklyn; "I'm a New York girl," she says. [Mirror]
• Denise Richards' new reality show for E! will focus on her life as a single mom. Ryan Seacrest is producing. No comment. [Variety]
• Shrek The Musical: Coming to Broadway in December. [USA Today]

[Los Angeles, January 31. Images via Bauer-Griffin.]

• After driving to the courthouse for her custody hearing yesterday and arriving extremely late, Britney ended up not going inside. [TMZ]
  
• As Britney left the courthouse, she said, "I'm scared." Then she made a brief stop inside the Little Brown Church in Studio City. "She wasn't even there for long, just in and out," says assistant pastor Michael Kosik. And even though Brit was wearing white she "did not try to get married." Well thank God. "I think she just needed to get away," the pastor adds. Later she had lunch. [People]
  
• The commissioner on Brit's case has ruled that Britney will not have visitation rights restored — at least until the next hearing on February 19. Of course, it would help if she made it inside the courtroom. [TMZ]
  
• Joel Madden says Harlow Winter Kate Madden "looks so much like her mom (Nicole Richie) it's crazy!" He adds, "I suck when it comes to diapers, but I'm learning." [PageSix.com]

• Dennis Quaid gave an exclusive interview to the Los Angeles Times, saying that he and his wife watched in terror after their twins were given 1,000 times the recommended dose of the blood thinner heparin. Long, terrifying story, with details like, "At one point, as a bandage was being changed, blood spurted from the area around Thomas' clipped umbilical cord and hit a wall about 5 feet away, Quaid, 53, remembered." [LA Times]
• ABC execs are upset that Katie Holmes appeared on Good Morning America and Diane Sawyer only asked questions and about her hair and clothes — nothing about the new Andrew Morton book; nothing about Suri being the spawn of L. Ron Hubbard, boo. [Page Six]
• Grammy-winning singer Jill Scott liked the look of a male model on a photo shoot; later she was seen having dinner with him. Hot! [Page Six]
• Chloe Sevigny on her TV dad Harry Dean Stanton: "He never recognizes me. But, whatever, he's 86 years old. And he still likes to party... I think he comes to the set sometimes straight from the party." [Page Six]
• Did Jessica Simpson's father tip off the photographers to Jess and Tony Romo's location in Mexico — and get a cut of the profits? [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which acting legend in a current release once offered a national beauty queen a vial of cocaine during a daytime golf round? While the lady declined, he seemed not to realize his coke had been clogged with moisture and sticky globs fell out of his schnoz the rest of the afternoon." [Gatecrasher]
• Another reason to love Johnny Depp: He visited Great Ormond Street Hospital (where his daughter was treated when her kidneys failed after E. coli poisoning) and donated £1million. [Mirror]
• In case you missed it the first time, MSNBC is reporting last week's midweek madness news: That Jamie Lynn Spears has been dumped by her baby-daddy, Casey Aldridge. Yawn. [MSNBC]
• Um, they're also reporting that the National Enquirer says Reese Witherspoon has accepted Jake Gyllenhaal's marriage proposal. Yeah... No. Not likely. [MSNBC]
• The upcoming season of American Idol means that people are betting on how many assistants Paula Abdul will go through. "Some people would last weeks, others just days," says a source. [MSNBC]
• Hilary Duff denies that she was lip-synching at a concert in Mexico, despite footage of her moving her lips but no sounds coming out. "It was faulty equipment," her peeps claim. [People]
• Eva Longoria's unsolicited update on her womb: "I'm not pregnant." Thanks for the info. [People]
• Singer Annie Lennox has been dropped by her record label. "They totally ignored me. It was bizarre, a kick in the teeth," she says. "They didn't even pick up phone calls or emails for three weeks." Now the song "Why" is stuck in our head. This is the book I never read, these are the words I never said! This is he path I'll never tread, these are the dreams I'll dream instead... [Mirror]
• Do these pictures of Mark Ronson on his way to Amy Winehouse's flat show him carrying a packet of cocaine? [This Is London]
• Michael Stipe got himself out of jury duty in Athens, GA. Lucky duck. [AP]

[Hollywood, December 31. Image via x17]

[Los Angeles, December 3. Image via Wenn]

• Britney Spears showed up for her video shoot 12 hours late — and only because she heard the record label was going to give her slot on set to a younger up-and-coming singer. Also, when Britney was out on her birthday, she called ex-husband Kevin Federline and "begged him to come out with her." Kevin reminded her that one of them needed to be a parent and take care of the kids, so Brit hung up on him. [Page Six]
  
• And guess who is number one on the list of top ten Yahoo searches for 2007? Britney. Head shaving, rehab, umbrella attacks... She has had an amazing year. [Reuters]
  
• A bag of "white powder" was seen in the trunk of Amy Winehouse's car. And she was visited by Pete Doherty at 4 a.m. Nothing good can come of this. [Daily Mail]

• Looking at these pictures which document Amy's weight loss makes us sad. [Telegraph]
• Blind item! "Which Oscar-winning star doesn't like to be reminded that she once waitressed at a swanky Midtown hotel restaurant? She went to cattle calls between meals." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which female singer - who has had the same unlikely nose job as her brother - has a metal brace up her schnoz to keep it from collapsing? The device was noticed by a stylist who had bent down to lace her boots." [Gatecrasher]
• Helena Bonham Carter on Sweeney Todd: "The first half of filming I wasn't pregnant, and the second half I was, and because we didn't shoot it in order, I start off with huge breasts and then I walk upstairs and suddenly I've got tangerines again. It's melons to tangerines." [Page Six]
• The Sex And The City movie wrapped! We don't have to think about it again until it hits theaters. And DVD. And cable. [Rush & Molloy]
• A caretaker at actress Tippi Hedren's Shambala Preserve was attacked by a 4-year-old Bengal tiger. The man suffered multiple scratches and one full bite to the neck. Kitty's pissed! [TMZ]
• Ethan Hawke didn't leave Uma Thurman for the nanny — he started seeing the nanny after his divorce (and the woman was no longer the children's nanny). Phew? [MSNBC]
• Actor Rupert Everett, 48, plans to have a double-headed eagle tattooed on the back of his head. "I think it's my mid-life crisis," he says. Uh, yeah. [Daily Express]
• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden hosted a surprise baby shower for 100 expectant and new moms at the Los Angeles Free Clinic yesterday and handed out more than $200,000 worth of gifts. [People]

• Oprah's not a hairdresser, but she did chop about nine inches off of Hilary Swank's mane — which was then donated to Pantene Beautiful Lengths. The segment will air on Oprah's show Friday. Wonder if either of them read about how sometimes writing a check is better? [People]
  
• Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen: Still at it. The couple had dinner at New York's Waverly Inn, owned by Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter. [Page Six]
  
• Was Gisele Bundchen a witch for Halloween? She cut the line at a haunted house in New York. [Page Six]
  
• Paul McCartney's soon-to-be-ex-wife, Heather Mills, is so upset about being branded a "whore and a gold digger" that she has thoughts of suicide. "I considered killing myself because I thought, if I am dead, [Beatrice] can be safe with her father," she says. [Page Six]

• Dog The Bounty Hunter star Duane "Dog" Chapman has apologized for making racist slurs. Dog was recorded while on a phone call with his son — dropping the N word several times in a rant about his son's girlfriend, who is black. [People]
• Owen Wilson pees with the stall door open. [Page Six]
• Sting was seen in the Champagne Lounge of a strip club, probably not singing "Don't stand so close to me." [Page Six]
• Kelly Klein is a mom! Lukas Alexander Rector was born to a surrogate in California on Oct. 25. He'll be raised in New York, and though he has his mother's maiden name, Kelly's ex, designer Calvin Klein, will be involved in his life. Ah, the modern family! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which designer who's gone 'round and 'round the revolving rehab door gets his fix from a model - who's been in rehab herself, though for a different problem?" [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which famously un-single hip-hop powerhouse recently had a booty call with three women in a private third-floor room of that very trendy restaurant on Greenwich St.?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Rocker Joel Madden says of his situation with pregnant girlfriend Nicole Richie: "Having a baby is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me, and to us." [People]
• It's a little late, but if you wanted to be Posh Spice for Halloween, the key is: "Don't smile at all. You have to look really miserable. Like really miserable. Annoyed," says Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. [People]
• Speaking of Posh, she's back to dark hair, you know. [The Sun]
• And Posh's hubby? David Beckham? His new best friend is Snoop Dogg. Their kids play soccer together and Snoop says, "I love soccer just as he loves hip hop." [Mirror]
• An Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty duet??? Please please please let this come true. [The Sun]

[Beverly Hills, October 28. Image via FlyNet.]

• Orlando Bloom and Jennifer Aniston spent the weekend together in Mexico. Let us repeat that: Orlando Bloom and Jennifer Aniston spent the weekend together in Mexico. Pictures later today. [ONTD]
  
• Also in WTF news? Bono is collaborating with the Spice Girls. [Mirror]
  
• Eva Longoria sex tape! We predict her makeup will look perfect. [The Sun]
  
• Pamela Anderson: Getting married? She and Rick Salomon obtained a marriage license in Las Vegas. It would be the third marriage for both. But would it be the last? [ET]
  
• The so-called "sultan of sleaze," David Hans Schmidt, who tried to extort $1 million from Tom Cruise for stolen wedding photos, was found dead in his home from an apparent suicide on Saturday. [Reuters]

• Posh brings people together! Months before his near-fatal heart attack, David Beckham's dad, Ted, had been back in touch with David, thanks to Victoria. They'd had a falling out in 2005 after Ted wrote a book about David without his permission. [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which heir to a multinational fortune was checked into rehab for drugs and alcohol after his wife caught him cheating by reading his e-mails? His servants are smiling because he is cruel and mean to them." [Page Six]
• The producers of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency had the mini-bar removed from Janice's room in a Miami hotel after she racked up $900 in "incidentals." Surely this wouldn't happen if those little bottles of vodka were bigger! [Page Six]
• Actor Steve Guttenberg is writing a memoir, yawn. [Gatecrasher]
• Mary-Kate Olsen to random fan: "Christ saves all! I save all!" [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
• Blind item! "Which former celebrity chef had a little drug freakout while on vacation this summer? He became convinced the adult film he was watching in his hotel was a live feed from another room, and stormed into the lobby demanding to be shown to the orgy." [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Someone doctored an article in an issue of J-14 magazine, spreading that false pregnancy rumor about 14-year-old Miley Cyrus, star of Hannah Montana. Kids today! [NY Times]
• Paris Hilton on her love of animals: "I don't wear fur, and animal testing, and things like that." Uh, okay. Also, Paris says when she was on David Letterman's show, she talked about her perfume, clothing line and new movie. [New York Magazine]
• But actually, Dave teased her incessantly about jail. [PopSugar]
• Sharon Osbourne's brother says his sister is working Ozzy Osbourne so hard he might die on stage. Gotta keep the cash rolling in! [The Sun]
• Speaking of Sharon Osbourne, Courtney Love denies that she gave Sharon's son Jack OxyContin at age 15, as Sharon claims. Courtney says, "I would never give drugs to a teenager. F—- you, Sharon!" Sharon responded by saying that Courtney is "a virus" and a "has-been." Ding ding ding! Round 3! [Rush & Molloy, 4th item]
• Nicole Kidman was denied a private box at a sold-out rugby game in Sydney, Austrailia. [News.com.au]
• Usher's knocked-up bride, Tamkea Foster, says she's glad she's gonna have a boy: "No girls for me. I hate girls!" [Rush & Molloy, 5th item]
• OMG yay! Kanye West has a blog! [TMZ]
• Have Joel Madden and Nicole Richie set a wedding date? Sources say October 13 is the big day. [TMZ]

• The judge in Britney Spears' custody case says "there is a habitual, frequent, and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol by (Britney)." He's ordered Britney "to undergo testing for the use of controlled substances and alcohol." Testing will be conducted randomly twice a week. In addition, Britney and Kevin Federline must complete the "Parenting Without Conflict" program. [TMZ]
  
• Michael Jackson took his kids to see The Lion King and "they all had wigs and baseball caps on," says a source. Paris, Prince and Blanket were introduced to the cast and then MJ and the kids "ran out." [Page Six]
  
• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have put their four bedroom in Nashville up for sale, yawn. [Page Six]
  
• For their Best Of Beauty Awards party, Allure magazine replaced Lily Allen — who has visa issues — with Mandy Moore. Not exactly the same. [Page Six]
  
• Is Rose McGowan engaged to Robert Rodriguez? The two met on the set of Grindhouse and Rodriguez soon divorced his wife. Now Rose is wearing a rock. We're not saying he likes Rose because her name starts with R, but he did name his kids Rocket, Racer, Rebel, Rogue, and Rhiannon. [Page Six]

• Kanye West's new CD may be outselling 50 Cent's but Fiddy is number 2 on Forbes' Hip Hop Cash Kings list — he made $32 million last year. Yeah, we didn't know Forbes was so down either. [Page Six]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown is accused of leaving her 2-month-old daughter with the maid for four days while she hit Las Vegas to get married. [Gatecrasher]
• A Toronto restauranteur is blasting singer Nelly Furtado's bad manners. "She made a reservation for 10 guests," Guy Rubino says. "She showed up an