In an interview with Vermont Public Radio yesterday, former DNC chairman Dean matter-of-factly explained that the reform advertised is not necessarily the reform that will result from the bill. He explained that by gutting the major points of contention, politicians have also removed the need for a major piece of legislation.

"There are some good things in this bill, but they're small, and let's have a small bill for this $32 billion. Doesn't sound like a small amount, but compared to a trillion dollars - 27 percent of which is going to go to the insurance companies' pockets, it's a small price to pay to help community health care centers and prevention and wellness programs."

Greg Sargent of the Plum Line points out that the progressive divide over the bill seems to split into "operatives and wonks," saying:

At risk of overgeneralizing, operatives tend to see such fights as political wars that are either are or aren't worth fighting and dying in. Wonks tend to see them as chapters in a longer tale of ever-evolving social policy. That might go some ways towards explaining the divide, even if the substantive differences between the two camps are real and serious.

The gist of the wonk argument is that this is all part of the Democrats' master plan, a small victory in a much longer battle to be waged. But I'm more inclined to side with Gregg Levine at FiredogLake, when he writes:

Failure to pass health care legislation, even terrible legislation, will be a great loss for the Obama administration and for Democrats in Congress. But passing a bill as bad as the Senate's eventual endpoint could be a bigger defeat for the Democratic majority we really want-one that takes progressive action on behalf of the voters.

Because, as I see it, a bill without the competitive force of a public option, or the opportunity for millions to buy into Medicare, without cheaper pharmaceuticals or meaningful controls on premiums, without bans on benefit caps or loophole-free safeguards against rescission, but with an individual mandate, will do nothing for the 30 million uninsured that advocates of the bill like to talk about helping-but it will do plenty for the private insurance and pharmaceutical industries.

Or, in the words of my blog amigo Nezua:

They fugazi if they think imma be forced to buy crappy insurance.

Reid Assures Snowe That Public Option, Medicare Buy-In Are Dead [TPM]
Howard Dean: "Kill The Senate Bill" [The Plum Line]
Dean On Health Care: "Kill The Senate Bill" [VPR]
Kill The Bill? Operatives Say Yes, Wonks Say No [The Plum Line]
Why Liberals Should Back the Health Care Bill [Political Wire]
Why Progressives Are Batshit Crazy to Oppose the Senate Bill [FiveThirtyEight]
user
Kill Bill? Latest Flips by Lieberman, Nelson Predictable; Require Hard-Line Response [Firedoglake]

Instead of just tying health care reform to the train tracks and letting nature take its course, Lieberman had to kick the Dudley Do-Right Dems when they were down, waiting until they had confidently announced an impending compromise to reveal he was against the plan. He chose to do this on Face the Nation.

Watch CBS News Videos Online

According to TPM, Lieberman has threatened to filibuster over the expansion of Medicare to those 55 - 64 years in age.

This should be no surprise. After all, Lieberman's relationship with the Democratic Party has generally gone like this:

Yglesias also points out that unless Democrats are willing to push for reconciliation, Lieberman, Nelson, and the Republicans have them over a proverbial barrel:

Can't liberals be just as stiff-necked as Lieberman? Sure, they could. But liberals members do have an incentive to compromise-the tens of thousands of people who die every year for lack of health insurance. The leverage that Lieberman and other "centrists" have obtained on this issue (and on climate change) stems from a demonstrated willingness to embrace sociopathic indifference to the human cost of their actions.

Speaking of sociopathic indifference, there are two major developments on the women's health front- neither of which appears geared toward improving the actual lives of women.

Senator Ben Nelson, saddened by the defeat of his "this is not extending Hyde...but it really is" amendment, swears to fight on, saying that he can't support a bill that doesn't allow him to get his way. Interestingly, back in 1991, Nelson's anti-abortion stance put him in a precarious position within the Democratic party. Now, the Democrats are no longer as staunch in their defense of a woman's right to choose, which has allowed Nelson to gain some traction.

Meanwhile, the recent advisement about changes to breast cancer screening guidelines has become the latest political football, with both Democrats and Republicans dog-piling on the issue. But make no mistake - this is done to score points, not to do something silly like figure out what is best for women. Dems want to prove that Republicans don't care about women; Republicans want to win back female voters.

The end result? Who cares about that?

Welcome To The Lieberman Administration [Think Progress]
Health Care Reform In Peril; Lieberman Threatens Filibuster Over Medicare Buy In [TPM]
Nelson: Won't Vote For Abortion Language [UPI]
A Senator's Moral Dilemma On Health Bill [Washington Post]
Mammograms As Political Weapon [Politico]

Earlier: New Breast Cancer Screening Guidelines Spark Confusion, Criticism

• Lindsay Lohan's Hollywood home was burglarized over the weekend. Dina Lohan says:

"The safe was ripped out of the wall, and the door was off the hinges and door handles removed. Bags, shoes and jewelry were taken too. Thank God she wasn't home." Well, if she'd been home, they might not have broken in? Anyway Dina says Lindsay is "Okay, but upset." [People]

• A source says that surveillance video caught the men who broke into Lindsay's house on tape, and cops are investigating. Michael Lohan thinks it's an inside job, since the people that work for Lindsay didn't turn the alarm on. [TMZ]
• Ryan Jenkins, 32, the reality star suspect accused of killing his ex-wife, was found dead in a motel room in a Canadian town called Hope. An unidentified woman checked in for Jenkins and paid cash; cops have seized the slip of information she filled out for the room. [Vancouver Sun]
• An employee at the Thunderbird Motel says Ryan Jenkins was not recognizable: "In no way shape or form did he look like the man on TV. He looked spent." [AP]
• Before she hit the stage with her Miss Universe performance, Heidi Montag said: "I think people don't know what to expect, and how can they? It's my first performance live and it's in front of a billion eyes. So I'm very excited to show everyone what I'm coming with. I'm very excited for everybody to see this." And: "I think a lot of people are expecting something very different." If by "different" you mean "stilted" and "bad" then, yeah. [AP]
• Oprah wants to throw a giant party for the 10th anniversary of her magazine, and she'd like to shut down portions of the West Side Highway in NYC for the bash. [NY Post]
• "After Alec Baldwin told Playboy he might run against Joe Lieberman, the Connecticut senator replied, 'make my day.'" [Politico]
• Michael Jackson's kids spent the weekend in Las Vegas at the Palms Casino Resort, drinking virgin strawberry-banana daiquiris and playing in the pool. Grandma Katherine Jackson watched pool-side, with a friend and a nanny. [People]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin snapped up the house next door to theirs in London and are creating a "£7million superhouse with 33 rooms." [Daily Mail]
• Sophia Bush was trying to hail a cab yesterday when she "accidentally flung" her arm into a woman passing by on a bicycle, knocking the woman to the ground. Sophia apologized and helped the woman up; the woman rode away. [UPI]
• Amy Winehouse performed with The Specials on Saturday night and it seems to have reinvigorated her! She says: "It's great to be back. I absolutely loved it out there. The fans and the atmosphere were great. It wasn't planned at all. I just went out and did it. I want to do my own gigs now." Video of Amy singing with the band at the link. [The Sun]
• Milla Jovovich married director Paul W.S. Anderson in Beverly Hills on Saturday, walking down the aisle of the backyard of the couple's Spanish-style house. The reception included cuban music and cake. [People]
• You can peep Milla's dress here. [E!]
• Prince William's girlfriend Kate Middleton will resign from working at her parents' internet party supply business at the end of the year and concentrate on photography. She'll head to New York for 2 weeks in January to work with Count Nikolai von Bismarck, who has trained with Annie Leibovitz. A source says: "It wouldn't be fitting for a future Queen to run a party website." [Daily Mail]
• Emma Roberts' boyfriend's neck is covered in hickeys. [Page Six]
• Khloé Kardashian is guest blogging for Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth while Ted is on vacation. [E!]
• Terrence J, the dude Khloé Kardashian kissed one drunken night, says: "We are just friends. Neither one of us remembers the kiss. We were trying to remember who kissed whom first and we have both agreed to agree that it was just a long night where we both had some drinks and shared a good time." This lapse in memory could be due to booze or the fact that Terrence is in a relationship and is "very much in love." [People]
• Sources claim that Doug Reinhardt has been "begging" MTV producers for a contract and wants very badly to be on The Hills, but the network is not interested. [Page Six]
• Oasis cancelled their appearance at V Fest over the weekend because Liam Gallagher had laryngitis; Snow Patrol stepped in. [The Sun]
• Joan Jett is suing Jacqueline Fuchs, former bassist in The Runaways, who is trying to have the movie about The Runaways stopped and has demanded to see the script — even though there is no character based on her. [UPI]
• Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos cheered on 8-year-old daughter Lola, who was riding at the 34th Annual Hampton Classic Horse show on Sunday. Kelly says: "She's so dedicated that she misses everything else in the summer so she can go riding!" [Gatecrasher]
• Spotted: Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer, househunting in Santa Monica. [Gatecrasher]
• Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig are in rehearsals for the Broadway play A Steady Rain, and the author, Kevin Huff, can't believe his good fortune: "These guys are in the prime of their careers," he says. "It's my understanding they're turning down movies to do this. I'm very lucky." [NY Daily News]
• The Rachel Zoe Project returns tonight, and this review says it "remains reliably bitchy television." [NY Daily News]
• Diablo Cody is on the cover of Inked magazine, and admits that she once was at a party with Robert Pattinson and didn't recognize him: "He's a beautiful man and I would certainly recognize him now… He wouldn't remember this happening. I honestly just went up and borrowed a light from him and I couldn't understand why there was this vibration in the crowd like, You're talking to him! I thought, You mean that guy with the cigarettes? Aw, this sounds terrible." [Inked]
• Shed a tear on your bearskin rug: The Burt Reynolds Museum may be closing. [UPI]
• A Texas blogger being sued by the mother of Anna Nicole Smith faces contempt of court for not turning in her computer. [UPI]
• Sophie Dahl and Jamie Cullum have chosen their wedding date and location: July 2010, at Hunton Park estate – a mansion set in 22 acres of parkland in Hertfordshire. Looks lush and amazing! [Daily Mail]
• "Rehab, drinking, Courtney Love, Owen Wilson's 'overdose': Steve Coogan confesses all." [Daily Mail]
• Former KISS guitarist Vinnie Vincent is suing the band and A&E television network for using his image without his permission. [TMZ]
• "'I want to marry again because I miss the sex' — Jerry Hall reveals she's on the lookout for love." [Daily Mail]
• Messy divorce news: David Alan Grier is seeking joint custody of his one-year-old daughter and looking to deny his estranged wife Christine Kim any spousal support. Christine was sole custody. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which reality TV women party so hard every night that reporters gripe the ladies don't get out of bed to do phone interviews in the day?" [Page Six]
• "I was born on December 13, I was 13 when I got my first record deal and my Twitter name is taylorswift13. My first single, Tim McGraw, had a 13-second intro, and every time something good happens, 13 is involved. If I ever get a tattoo it will be '13.'" — Taylor Swift. [Daily Mail]
• "When Ally McBeal started, I went 'Oh, my God,' it's like what I was doing. Bridget Jones was in the same vein. I identify with all of them. We all can." — Melanie Mayron, who played a redheaded photographer, an "independent, creative, quirky and funny" single woman in her 30s on thirtysomething. [LA Times]
• "After two dance sessions, I can tell you Cheryl Burke is the most patient person I have ever met." — Dancing With The Stars contestant and former Republican House Majority Leader Tom DeLay. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I wouldn't want to be 20 again for anything. I am much happier now than when I was younger. You have to discover who you are, who you are going to be, there are so many insecurities. Today, I know the things that I need, the things that I can live without." — Monica Bellucci. [Daily Mail]
• Q: So you're not getting married any time soon? A: "No, we're not into that. I think we have some sort of thing in California? What's it called? The civil equality or something. Domestic partnership! They sent us a piece of paper and it's like, oh, now what? She has her health insurance, I have mine. I'd put her on mine, but you know it's too much paperwork. We'll get around to it." — Sandra Bernhard on her girlfriend, with whom she's been with for 10 years. [LA Times]

• Last night, Sarah Palin ended up stopping by a Republican fundraiser that she was scheduled to headline, dropped out of and tried to get back into when her 2012 rival, Newt Gingrich, took her slot. [Washington Post]

• Newt Gingrich did plenty of talking, however, offering that he's "happy" Dick Cheney and Colin Powell are Republicans and that he thinks internal debates about policy and ideology should be saved until the party is in the majority again. You know, 'cause that worked so well for moderate Republicans before. [Associated Press]
• One place the GOP has asserted dominance is New York State, where two Democrats with legal problems (Pedro Espada Jr. of the Bronx and Hiram Monserrate of Queens) re-installed the Republican majority in the Senate. Espada is in line to become governor if David Paterson is incapacitated, so it worked out rather nicely for him, if not for the state's LGBT population. [NY Times]
• Former New York Senator Hillary Clinton has told Israel that since the Bush Administration didn't turn over any evidence of their so-called secret arrangement by which Israel would say it had stopped settlement expansion while expanding settlements, there is no such arrangement. [Washington Independent]
• Morgan Tsvangirai, the Prime Minister of Zimbabwe under a power-sharing arrangement with its dictator, Robert Mugabe, will visit with President Obama today. It'll be unseemly to be caught wishing for Mugabe to die already but... [Washington Post]
• South Korea has beaten us in imposing unilateral sanctions on North Korea for all the crazy shit Kim Jong Il's been pulling lately to prove that he hasn't had a stroke and is totally right in the head. [NY Times]
• Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's constituents have finally heard about all the crazy shit he says about being surrounded by light from Allah and whatnot, thanks to a political rival. Unsurprisingly, some people in Iran thinks he sounds batshit. [Huffington Post]
• House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has decided to fuck over the Senate (retribution for all the times it has done the same to her?) and strip out Senator Joe Lieberman's provision that would prevent the release of the rest of the torture photos the ACLU wants. [Politico]
• The Supreme Court plans on reviewing the sale of Chrysler to Fiat, and Congress has decided to try to force Obama to force GM and Chrysler to keep dealerships open despite the fact that the car companies are shuttering entire automobile lines and the dealer networks are increasingly unpopular. You know what the dealers do have? Lots and lots and lots of money to lobby Congress, since they're not bankrupt. [The Hill]

MEGAN: Good morning! It's actually sunny here, which is hurting my eyes this morning.

LATOYA: Yup, it's gonna be a beautiful day!

MEGAN: It would be more beautiful if Saxby Chambliss hadn't be re-elected. I guess this time he was able to get enough of "our folks" out to the polls.

LATOYA: Damn. Well, we can't win them all. The headlines today are weird. Bill Clinton wants a job. Or rather, would accept a job. Did he go to Change.gov? Fill out that long-ass application?

MEGAN: I guess he's bored? Or he's going to have to recuse himself from so much because of Hillary's gig between his speaking engagements and his foundation that he might as well accept an Administration gig. Does the Secretary of State travel with a spouse (when she or he has one)?

LATOYA: No idea. They keep saying they would make him a "superambassador."

MEGAN: Does he get a cape with that?

LATOYA: Did the superdelegates?

MEGAN: They did get miniature American flags! No abortions, though. Not even for some of them.

LATOYA: I guess there's some things even super-whatevers can't do.

MEGAN: Well, apparently, they can't make the Bushes stop coming, and, wow, did that sound grosser after I typed it.

LATOYA: More terrorism watches, I see.

MEGAN: I guess nobody figures on a well-organized attack on one city is the end of it.

LATOYA: I suppose. We'll circle back to terrorism later. Something Jeb said interested me:

Bush said conservatives should “do the math of the new demographics of the United States,” explaining that the Republican Party “can’t be anti-Hispanic, anti-young person, anti many things and be surprised when we don’t win elections.”

Well no fucking duh.

MEGAN: The problem is: what do they plan to be for?

LATOYA: Too bad no one caught on to that this election cycle. They were too busy chasing the "Real Americans".

MEGAN: Yes, I was sure happy to discover that having been born on the East Coast, educated at two American universities at significant personal expense and living in Virginia for nearly a decade, it was all a big lie and I'm actually a fake American. Does that mean I actually get to be Irish? Because, really, my Irish accent imitation is pretty pitiful.

LATOYA: I say you should do it, just for spite. But really — I hope the Republicans get themselves together. Because our governing system depends on having two parties, not camp hater and camp counter-haters.

MEGAN: Let's say it depends on having at least two parties.

LATOYA: Republicans should stand for smaller government, more individual liberties

MEGAN: Well, they stand for that, they just aren't into actually doing anything to achieve that.

LATOYA: They lie. They don't stand for that — yet. Some Republicans do, but their party went somewhere else entirely. The GOP stands for old people, anti-intellectualism, racism, xenophobia, and the formation of a theocracy - as it stands now.

MEGAN: It's one nation UNDER GOD, Latoya, the Founding Fathers, like, totally said so. Republicans just want a big enough government to enforce their religious beliefs on the rest of us.

LATOYA: Yeah, see — no wonder thinking Republicans are adrift. They're like "What the fuck happened? I just want less taxes."

MEGAN: And the libertarians are too busy being crazytown to step up, which is sad.

LATOYA: Wait a min — have you moderated any conversations advocating for a third party vote? I have. Two of them. I'm not planning to have that conversation again for a long time.

MEGAN: Hey, I'm all for a functioning third or fourth party, I just haven't seen one I'd vote for yet.

LATOYA: I'm not touching libertarians. That's another great in theory, failing in practice type deals.

MEGAN: Well, what politics isn't that?

LATOYA: True, true. I guess the main point is not to be too contradictory. Oh whoa — there is a little push to update the pledge of allegiance.

MEGAN: Clearly, that can not be allowed to happen or the godless Communists will be able to claim victory in the Cold War.

LATOYA: Oh, that was the original argument for adding "under God" to the pledge in the first place.

Docherty's contribution to American civil religion came during a sermon he preached at Washington's New York Avenue Presbyterian Church in honor of Lincoln's birthday in 1954, the height of the Second Red Scare. As Post reporter Matt Shudel notes in Sunday's obituary, Docherty, a native of Scotland, argued that the then-godless American pledge could just as easily apply to the communist Soviet Union.

"I could hear little Muscovites recite a similar pledge to their hammer-and-sickle flag with equal solemnity," said Docherty. He suggested adding Lincoln's phrase "under God" from the Gettysburg Address to the pledge. "To omit the words 'Under God' in the Pledge of Allegiance is to omit the definitive character of the American Way of Life."

MEGAN: Yeah, I was actually joking, only sometimes when I joke like that people think it's not a joke because it sounds like something someone would actually say in all earnestness, which is why I think it's funny in the first place.

LATOYA: I know you were joking — but truth is stranger than anything we could dream up in this chat. His whole argument was "if you don't say God, we're going to be communists" - and it worked!

MEGAN: Yes, totally, we're not Communists, so it must have worked! We're sort of, you know, Socialist-y right now what with the government taking shares in private companies and whatever, but let's not tell anyone.

LATOYA: Shhh — that was just a couple experiments in college. No need to tell the rest of the world.

MEGAN: Everyone experiments in college, after all.

LATOYA: Ummhmm. Random topic switch — why is John McCain going to India?"

MEGAN: Um, doesn't Obama keep saying that there's only one President at a time?

LATOYA: With Lieberman, no less. This appears to be part of a larger congressional trip, but uh...I feel like they are cementing this new bromance. Colin must be beside himself.

MEGAN: I love, by the way, that he's there with Lieberman and Lindsay Graham. And it's just the three of them, traveling on the taxpayers dime, seeing the world together. Why won't they just come out and admit that they missed the good old days on the campaign plane, taking turns in the airplane bathroom, snuggled up asleep in a row together?

LATOYA: It's the end of the good ol' days, Megan. They have to mourn. Real America has been taken over by all us fakers.

MEGAN: You know McCain totally hotboxes Lindsay.

LATOYA: Hotboxes?

MEGAN: It is when you fart under the covers and then pull them up around your partner's head so he/she can't escape.

LATOYA: Ewwwwwwww For real though...I would punch someone.

MEGAN: And, yes, I think a good ball punch would be in order if someone tried it on me.

LATOYA: Yuck. And I soooooooooo did not need that mental image of those two. Poor Cindy.

MEGAN: But tell me McCain doesn't seem the type.

LATOYA: McCain does seem like a hotboxer. Jeez. I can't even think about this anymore.

MEGAN: Well, for your mental health, let's go for another awkward segue. How about let's talk about the possibility that Obama might nominate the first openly gay person to a cabinet position?

LATOYA: I'm going to talk about Condi.

MEGAN: Oh, um, well, I mean other than Condi.

LATOYA: Bah. I'll press pause on Condi. I would be thrilled if Obama appointed Maxwell for labor. But, I was just watching those previews for Milk and now I'm jumpy. They are going to have to triple up on Secret Service for this team.

MEGAN: Do you really think that someone would go after Mary Beth Maxwell if she's labor secretary? Do people even bother trying to assassinate Cabinet Members? I was trying to think of one since Seward survived the Lincoln assassination and drew a blank.

LATOYA: Well, considering the "gays are infiltrating your everything!" meme being pushed out, I wouldn't be surprised.

MEGAN: Oh, right, forced conversions, I forgot.

LATOYA: But nothing is finalized yet. Apparently, they have a lot of candidates in play. So many that people are getting confused:

Today, the gay rights group Human Rights Campaign will release a letter to President-elect Barack Obama strongly backing her. The catch: The group last week backed Rep. Linda Sanchez for the post.

“You would have received our letter in support of Representative Sánchez’s candidacy for Secretary of Labor last week,” HRC President Joe Solmonese writes, asking for a mulligan.

“While we remain supportive of Representative Sánchez’s candidacy, it has come to our attention that Mary Beth Maxwell is also being considered for this crucial position. Given Ms. Maxwell’s long history of leadership on labor issues, HRC is pleased to also endorse Mary Beth Maxwell for Secretary of Labor.”

MEGAN: Man, the Human Rights Campaign fucked that one up. Loretta Sánchez has got to be a little annoyed. Plus, not to put too fine a point on it, why the fuck is the HRC endorsing anyone for Labor Secretary? Shouldn't they be focused on things like Prop 8 and the court cases on same sex marriage in Iowa and Florida and getting enough people to vote for the Employee Non Discrimination Act with trans-rights included?

LATOYA: Maybe they're multitasking. And don't get me started on the trans rights thing. I'll be linking for years.

MEGAN: We can link for years. I'm on record that I think it's shitty that the HRC sold trans rights down the river for a House vote.

LATOYA: Sorry Megan, I suck today. I have video games on the brain and I keep clicking over to conversations on Mirror's Edge and racism and video games. Resume tomorrow? I'll bring the goodies - Lorelei says she'll talk to us about national security and Pakistan. Maybe she'll teach us how to decode all these damn terrorist warnings.

MEGAN: If I knew anything about video games, I would say we could talk about it, but I can't even get through level two of Super Obama World. So, yeah, let's talk Pakistan tomorrow instead.

LATOYA: Deal. [sneaks off to play Super Obama World before work]

• The fighting that began Wednesday in Mumbai is continuing today. Nearly 200 people have been confirmed dead so far, with almost 300 others injured. Militants are still fighting and holding (and killing) hostages in the Taj Mahal hotel and in a Jewish community center. [NY Times, Huffington Post, NY Times]
• Barack Obama has issued a statement condemning the attacks. [Washington Post]
• The Iraqi Parliament has passed the Status of Forces Agreement, which could have us out by 2010, but will have us out no later than 2012. [Washington Independent]
• In other news, former First Lady Barbara Bush has been moved out of the ICU following surgery to repair a perforated stomach ulcer. [CNN]

• The Vatican says that cell phones and the Internet are killing our souls. Fuck, seriously, is there anything fun you're allowed to do as a Catholic anymore? (Click through for a bonus picture of Pope Benedict in a funny, non-Pope hat.) [Telegraph]
• Iowa's Supreme Court will hear an equal protection challenge to its gay marriage ban, which may or may not invalidate the marriage of the 2 people who managed to get married in the 9 business hours the ban was struck down before the court issued a stay. [LA Times]
• The police have charged someone in the murder of Arkansas reporter Anne Pressley, who was beaten to death in her home last month. Despite the extreme level of violence that police initially said indicated it could be someone that knew and hated her, it turns out it was a random attack by a violent psycho named Curtis Lavelle Vance. [MSNBC]
• Mitchell Wade, the former defense contractor who bribed the shit out of former Congressman Duke Cunningham, apparently bribed other people and is singing like a canary. He's implicated at least 5 other thus-far-unnamed Congressmen and various other government officials. [Washington Post]
• The Congressional probe of all of Ways and Means Committee Chairman Charlie Rangel's (D-New York) shady business dealings will be done before the new Congress is sworn in, according to Nancy Pelosi. This means, in all likelihood, that he'll get a slap on the wrist and continue on as Chairman, which is how it always worked when the Republicans ran Congress that Pelosi promised to change when she came to power. [Washington Post]
• Now that Democrats have voted to keep Joe Lieberman in his position of power atop the Senator Homeland Security Committee, someone bothered to notice that he gave a bunch of money to Republican Senatorial candidates, too. [Washington Post]
• Jill Biden might keep teaching at a D.C.-area community college as Second Lady, which would make her the first Second Lady to carry on with a paying job after moving into the Vice Presidential Mansion. Also, she's probably cooler than you even thought she was. [Politico]
• And although Hillary Clinton hasn't officially been offered or officially accepted a gig as Secretary of State in the Obama Administration, let alone resigned her Senate seat, New York State Attorney General (and enormous asshole) Andrew Cuomo has already begun a whisper campaign to make himself the front runner in the race to be appointed to the seat. Earlier this year, Andrew Cuomo referred to Barack Obama with a racial slur, which his staff rushed to cover up and intimidate bloggers and reporters from covering, swearing that the racially-loaded term "shucking and jiving" was no such thing. Hopefully, someone reminds Governor David Patterson of this every time he gets a damn phone call encouraging him to appoint Andrew Cuomo to anything. [NY Times, Pam's House Blend]

ANA MARIE: Good morning!

MEGAN: It does appear to be morning, but I am not going to make any promises about its "goodness" until I, like you, have gotten some caffeine in my system. Also, please type less loudly. Oh, wait, that's me.

ANA MARIE: Fun Jezebel meet up, huh?

MEGAN: Yes, but I was driving so drinking was minimized and then I got home and was like, hey, glass before bed! And it was a big glass. A really, really big glass.

ANA MARIE: That'll do it. Whereas the highlight of my evening was A RAHM SIGHTING.

MEGAN: In tights?

ANA MARIE: Sadly no. But he was with one of his equally brilliant brother, ZEKE, who arrived in the restaurant still wearing his lanyard nametag. Very dorky-cute. They had just been at this.

MEGAN: Oh, man, a conventioneer?

ANA MARIE: A very important powerful conventioneer:

"When it gets rough out there, a lot of business leaders get out of the car and say, 'We're OK with minor reform.' I'm challenging you today, we're going to have to do big, serious things," Rahm Emanuel said, speaking to The Wall Street Journal's CEO Council, a conference convened to elicit corporate opinion on the challenges facing the new president.

MEGAN: Also, I love how a CEO's top concern is card check. Fucking U.S. Chamber of Commerce. Like, hello, new Great Depression but you care whether Obama will veto card check? Hint, hint, dickwad, he won't.

ANA MARIE: (WSJ reports on Rahm's presence, this is how I know Zeke was there. ) This threw me a bit:

"The American people in two successive elections have voted for change, and change cannot be allowed to die on the doorsteps of Washington," Mr. Emanuel said.

Until i remembered that he counts 2006 as an election.

MEGAN: Ooh, Zeke works at NIH? And 2006 was Rahm's big victory, of course he thinks about it that way! But can we talk about the softer side of Rahm? :

According to notes taken by leadership aides, Mr. Emanuel choked up when he told the colleagues his decision to leave the Hill and join the Obama administration was "not an easy decision for me."

ANA MARIE: Eh, just because someone has a filthy mouth doesn't mean the waterworks are broken. You and I should know!

MEGAN: I don't cry, I just have something in my contact lens. Even when I'm wearing my glasses.

ANA MARIE: So are you stone hearted or just not much of a crier? And I think that is a great segue to Hillary! Are you tired of talking about her yet? Will doing it again actually bring you to tears?

MEGAN: No, that is exactly how I deal with stuff when I "have something in my eye!" Segue! The whole situation in which she's saying she might not want it really makes me wonder what Clinton was doing jetting around in Air Fuck One.

ANA MARIE: The name says it all. Given all the rumors and speculation floating around, I think I trust Ambinder's take on the situation (Hillary's, not Bill's... or rather, not THAT Bill situation).

MEGAN: Okay, best line in the piece:

On the other hand, it is conceivable that President Obama would hand Sen. Clinton a ticket with the words "Middle East Peace" printed on it, and say: "Go," giving Clinton the flexibility and transitive authority to secure her place in history.

That would be nice.

ANA MARIE: On the other hand, there's this:

She would be Secretary of State in an administration dominated by other foreign policy heavyweights. She will wonder where Joe Biden fits in to all of this; the two senators are collegial and competitive. There is some angst with Joe Biden's circle of confidants about Clinton's serving as Secretary of State. It is not clear whether Biden himself shares the angst.

MEGAN: If Joe Biden wanted to be SecState, he should not have accepted the VP slot.

ANA MARIE: I suspect Biden thought that VP would be like SecStatePLUS.

MEGAN: Welcome to the Greater Depression, Joe Biden, when you get to have a domestic policy function. But if Ambinder is right and the whole thing is collegial and proceeding apace, why all the leaks that she's not gonna do it?

ANA MARIE: Because you can be collegial about vetting and still not be sure you're gonna do it. And we still don't know what the vetting has turned up.

MEGAN: Well, and that's what I meant about what was going on on Air Fuck One. Is it the 'stans? The investments? The foreign donors at the library?

ANA MARIE: Well if everyone is being all discreet as they say, we may never know — Hillary's ambivalence could be a cover for making a graceful exit after they find out that Bill was banging a Pakastani tranny. Or accepting money from a Pakastani warlord. Which is maybe more likely.

MEGAN: Yeah, because I think transvestites are more of an Afghani thing. I have listened to a lot of people talk about homosexuality in Afghanistan over the last year. I'm starting to think people want to do more than fuck OBL up (i.e., down, sideways, back and forth, etc.).

ANA MARIE: Everyone needs a hobby

MEGAN: Especially Ted Stevens now.

ANA MARIE: I understand he makes gigantic fish sculptures in his spare time. Presumably they will become truly gargantuan now. Do you continue to live in Alaska if you don't have to? That's my question.

MEGAN: Mike Gravel says: no. His wife says, aw hell no.

ANA MARIE: I'm not sure if Gravel is the best source on the subject of sane behavior.

MEGAN: Well, what politician from Alaska is?

ANA MARIE: I hope the new guy!

MEGAN: Good luck with that. Begich winning does mean that if they can pull it out in Minnesota (decent odds) and then Georgia (unlikely), the Dems will have their filibuster-proof majority if Lieberman doesn't shank them again. Which he will, 'cause he's Lieberman and now has no fear.

ANA MARIE: Yeah, that is what it means! And I think Lieberman is probably more of a pussy than you think.

MEGAN: I'm sure he's less of a pussy than Harry Reid, but that ain't saying much.

ANA MARIE: Harry Reid, the boxing pussy.

MEGAN: Some dudes do think pussy is a competitive sport.

ANA MARIE: And that boxing is as well. Did you see Bill Kristol is "ambivalent" about keeping his New York Times column?

MEGAN: Man, what a copycat. He sees Hillary playing the expectation-management game and then hops on board? Yeah, Bill, everyone knows you're going to be out on your ass when the contract's up, you should've been ambivalent in, like, January.

ANA MARIE: Or more ambivalent about Sarah Palin! His ambivalence is widely misplaced

MEGAN: A lot of things about Bill Kristol are misplaced. Like any rational thought.

ANA MARIE: In an interview with the New York Observer, he says he's actually only met Palin twice. Which could explain a lot!

MEGAN: Oh, right, like he couldn't have fallen in political love in two meetings? That hair, those eyes, her lips, those thighs and drill, baby, drill? He probably had stronger tingles in his leg for her than Chris Matthews did for Obama.

ANA MARIE: I'm sure Chris Matthews would disagree. Oh, and speaking of Chris Matthews: BEST SENATE RACE OF 2010. Unless, you know, Keith Olbermann takes his competitive streak to New Jersey

MEGAN: Oh, God, that will be so amazing. Has Specter even confirmed he's running yet? Could it be an open seat? Can I be THAT lucky?

ANA MARIE: I totally made up that KO thing, btw. Like, that isn't even a rumor, people. I want to spell that out because I think that it was just such a remark that might give us Sen. Franken.

MEGAN: Yeah, unless Olbermann decides to take on Corzine in the primary for the gubernatorial race, he can't run for Senate for a while yet. That said, can you imagine the smear campaign? The heart races.

ANA MARIE: Every campaign ad would be a SPECIAL COMMENT, with lots of chair spinning.

MEGAN: Hey, remember how al Qaeda endorsed McCain and all the conservatives were like, it's psychological warfare! They really are endorsing Obama? Well, no, it turns out, they really were into McCain. Oh, and Ayman al-Zawahri thinks Obama is a race traitor and a — I swear — "house negro." He's also pissed that Obama has "abandoned his Muslim faith."

ANA MARIE: al-Zawahri reads too many right wing blogs.

• Barack Obama and John McCain met this afternoon in which they talked about combating government waste and bitter partisanship and took some pretty, pretty pictures for us peons. [Washington Post]
• Vetting Bill Clinton's sketchy dealings in Central Asia and the donor list for his library might well cost Hillary Clinton her SecState job and prove that Obama was right to have been demanding those get released during the primaries. [Politico]
• But Obama is firmly against torture and keeping Guantanamo Bay open, so that's good at least. [Washington Independent]

• Senator Diane Feinstein (D-California) introduced legislation today to make it illegal to sell the free Inauguration tickets (punishable by a $100,000 fine and up to a year in prison) or to forge them. Yipes. Get them legal or watch it on TV, ladies. [CNN]
• Connecticut Senator Joe "Benedict Arnold" Lieberman is now expected to keep his chairmanship but lose his subcommittee chairmanship as his "punishment" for betraying the Democratic party. I guess we know about how hard Harry Reid intends to push back on, like, anything now that he's solidified power. [Huffington Post]
• With that news, former Senator John "The Inseminator" Edwards has decided to stage his own comeback. [Daily Beast]
• Alabama Senator Richard Shelby — who's been the GOP's point person on negging the auto bailout — scolded South Carolina GOP Senator Jim DeMint — who's been gunning for more power in the party — for saying the Republican losses this year were the fault of John McCain's betrayal of the (social) conservative brand of the GOP. Abortion and gay marriage, that's all the GOP should be against, totally. [CNN]
• By the way, New Gingrich says that we are all a part of a "a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence, to use harassment. I think it is prepared to use the government if it can get control of it." Yeah, fuck us for being all like "separation of church and state" and trying to take advantage of "equal protection under the law" and exercising our First Amendment rights to assemble and petition the government and shit. What fascists we all are. [Media Matters]

• Officials are confirming that Hillary Clinton met with Barack Obama in Chicago to talk about a potential Cabinet slot. Two "senior Democratic officials" confirmed to the Huffington Post that Clinton was offered Secretary of State and asked for time to consider it, but she didn't admit to anything at a press conference in Albany. [NY Times, Huffington Post]
• Barack Obama and John McCain are going to meet this weekend to talk about how they might be able to work together on something once Obama is President. It was arranged by Senator Lindsay Graham, McCain's Number One Fanboy. [Washington Post]
• Vermont Senator Pat Leahy became the one who broke the seal, announcing today that he's not going to support Connecticut Senator Joe "Turncoat" Lieberman's efforts to hold onto his committee chairmanship in the Democratic-controlled Senate since Lieberman isn't a Democrat, campaigned against the incoming Democratic President and endorsed a Republican. Glad someone has more of a spine than Harry Reid. [Washington Post]
• Speaking of backbones, thousands of people are expecting to protest the passage of Proposition 8 tomorrow, in California and around the country. [Huffington Post]

• Other things coming to Washington include: Barack Obama's favorite pizza in Chicago, which is not Chicago-style but is, I guarantee, better than all but about 5 pizza outlets in the D.C. Metro area. [Huffington Post]
• FDIC Chairwoman Sheila Bair (a contender for the Treasury Secretary slot in an Obama Administration, if the rumors are true) unveiled her $25 million plan to stop 1.5 million foreclosures next year by offering incentives to financial institutions to reduce homeowners' monthly payments. Current Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson reportedly hates the idea, preferring to spend the money buying stock in banks and encouraging addition lending, let alone that he doesn't want to have to cede 3.5 percent of his Congressional spending authority to a girl to, like, help struggling Real Americans instead of banks. [Washington Post]
• California Congressman Dan Lungen is planning on challenging Ohio Congressman John Boehner for House Minority Leader. I wonder if he knows the perma-tan isn't one of the perks? [CNN]
• Former Maryland Lt. Governor Michael Steele wants to take over the Republican National Committee. He faces a mass of other people that didn't have prime time speaking roles at the Republican National Convention. [Politico]
• McCain campaign manager Rick Davis took responsibility for not paying how much attention "a gal from New York" they hired to shop for Sarah Palin spent on her wardrobe since they didn't give her a budget or look at the bills. That only took until after your guy lost, dickwad. Nice timing. [CNN]
• Outgoing corrupt Republican Congressman Rick Renzi of Arizona (who will be replaced by Democrat Ann Kirkpatrick) will face racketeering and other new charges when he eventually goes to trial on being a corrupt bastard. [Huffington Post]
• Renzi's colleague-in-corruption Alaska Senator Ted Stevens has fallen behind in his bid to win re-election to the Senate seat he'd be forced from once he had to report to the clink. [LA Times]
• Joe The Motherfucking Plumber has a motherfucking book deal. I, on the other hand, do not. I can ask stupid questions! I swear! Call me, publishers? [Huffington Post]

• Barack Obama will officially resign his Senate seat on Sunday, one day before Congress reconvenes for its lame duck session. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has 60 days to appoint a successor to serve until a special election in 2010, but hasn't signaled who he's leaning towards. [Washington Post]
• In the meantime, Obama might go to Georgia to stump for Jim Martin in his run-off race to bump Saxby Chambliss from Max Cleland's old Senate seat. [Huffington Post]
• He's also not sure he likes any of the dudes he hasn't admitted he's considering to be Secretary of State so he's considering... Hillary Clinton. This might or might not be more serious consideration than he gave to the idea of her being his VP. [NY Times]

• The GOP, too, is unsure of things, like whether to kick convicted, corrupt Senator Ted Stevens out of the Republican conference and/or the Senate. All hail the idiocracy! [The Hill]
• Al Gore is sure of one thing: he isn't going to the White House in an Obama Administration. [CNN]
• And it seems increasingly sure that Connecticut Senator Joe "Turncoat" Lieberman will keep his committee chairmanship because no one wants to be mean to Cotton-Eye Joe. [Huffington Post]
• The Bush Administration is pretty sure that it's going to veto the Democrats' auto-industry bailout bill, but Senator Chris Dodd is pretty sure it won't pass anyway. [Washington Post, NY Times]
• Rahm Emanuel definitely knows he's sorry for his dad's remarks about Arabs. [Politico]
• Sarah Palin gave a press conference today and managed to take 4 whole big-girl questions and not actually say a word. So I'm pretty sure nothing's really changed. [Daily Beast]

• Democratic Majority Leader Harry Reid has decided that the entire Democratic caucus will vote next week whether Independent Senator Joe Lieberman will keep his seat as chairman of the Homeland Security Committee after having back John McCain and gone negative against Obama. [TPM Election Central]
• How negative did Lieberman really go? There's a video to count the ways. [Politico]
• And both the Clintons swear that — despite leaked reports that rather obviously came from Lieberman's camp — they aren't pushing to keep Lieberman at Homeland Security or in the caucus. [Politico]
• Racist Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss, who, according to the Constitution represents all the citizens of Georgia regardless of their race, knows the reason he didn't avoid a run-off election because not enough of "his" people turned out. You know, white people. That always vote for the white guy. Because they're white. [Think Progress]

• In the meantime, the Bushies are mad that the Obama folks leaked that Bush will only support an auto industry bailout if the Dems pass the Colombia FTA, as though that wasn't a legit assumption given that the Bushies already told the Hill that exact thing the day before. [Politico]
• Obama released his guidelines covering lobbyists' activities for his transition team and good government types think he is, like, so cool. [The Hill]
• And if the fact that he was able to outspend John McCain by crazy margins wasn't reason enough, it turns out that skipping public financing means Obama's campaign won't face a crazy audit. Raising tons of money means that if they did get some unlawful contributions, they would be so minor the FEC doesn't really care, either. McCain, though, gets the full accountant treatment, which is not as sexy-dirty as it sounds, sort of like how fucking an accountant isn't. [Politico]
• And Latino groups expect that Obama will appoint Latinos to the Cabinet. They are, apparently, pushing for Governor Bill "McGrabbyhands" Richardson, but I'm throwing my completely inconsiderable weight behind New York Congresswoman (and Small Business Committee Chair) Nydia Velázquez for the top spot at the Small Business Administration. LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa is supposedly on the list for something (and is, strangely, one of Obama's economic transition advisers), but I think he's more likely to get a sub-Cabinet appointment than a Cabinet slot. [Washington Post]
• Alaska's verified 50,000 of its early and absentee ballots and will start counting them this week to see if convicted and corrupt Senator Ted Stevens will actually win re-election and thus give Governor Sarah Palin a shiny new Senate feather to add to her political cap. [CNN]
• The GOP has started smearing Minnesota's Democratic Secretary of State Mark Ritchie in a misguided attempt to provoke peals of laughter from every Democrat that ever dealt with Katherine Harris and stop the legally-mandated recount in Minnesota because the margin separating Coleman and Franken is still teeny-tiny. Apparently, since 3 people heard him speak at a non-prime-time spot during the Democratic convention, Minnesotans don't need a recount. [TPM Muckraker]
• Noted cursing afficianado Joe Scarborough has earned himself a 7-second on-air delay for saying "Fuck you" earlier this week. My momma would've washed my mouth out with soap, but I could run faster. Not 7 seconds faster, though. [Politico]
• John Edwards has decided to give make his first public appearance following his admission that he fucked around on his wife. What do you think the odds are that audience members will ask him how he's coping with having cuckolded his wife the way that people seemingly insist on asking Elizabeth how she feels about it? Slim to none? [Time]
• Hopefully, the odds are better that the next Congress really will examine Bush's abuses of power next year. [Washington Independent]

MEGAN: So I have abandoned Williamsburg in favor of Queens, but only because it's easier to get coffee and the subway here. Am I missing anything in D.C. other than a federal holiday I don't believe I've gotten off since high school?

SPENCER: It's really cold.

MEGAN: Like, unusually for November cold? Or just cold-cold?

SPENCER: And Howard Dean is leaving the Democratic National Committee. I hate talking about the weather. I know I brought it up.

MEGAN: It did seem unusual for you. Maybe Howard just misses a real autumn and a snowy winter and wants to go back to Vermont? I know, I crack myself up, too, sometimes.

SPENCER: This is a man who will simply never get his due. Fought at every single step of the way for the Democratic nomination, fought at every single step of the way for the DNC chairmanship, all to say that the time is ripe for a progressive infrastructure in all 50 states, and most importantly at the state legislature levels to build the future of the Democratic Party, and vindicated in every particular. But will he ever be treated as the visionary he is? No, because he's too friendly to dirty fucking hippies like Markos Moulitsas and Duncan Black and Jane Hamsher. Oh, and let's not forget how he was ridiculed for the sin of being right about the Iraq war.

MEGAN: I mean, credit where credit is due, Obama's 50 state strategy really is just Howard Dean's from 2006. And even then Dean was considered a profligate over-spender because what the hell Democratic candidate was ever going to win in Indiana or North Carolina?

SPENCER: But I want to see some inter-party acknowledgment that Dean was right and certain magazines I used to work for were overwhelmingly wrong. These kinds of decisions speak to the heart of what people in progressive circles believe is possible, and good work needs to be rewarded and bad work needs to be... well, if not punished exactly then recognized as myopic.

MEGAN: Wait, you want people in Washington to admit they were wrong about stuff? Man, you are Mr. Rainbows and Sunshine and Unicorns. I mean, fuck, the word today is that if Reid held a secret caucus vote to strip Lieberman of his chairmanship, Lieberman would win. I mean, then there's really never going to be a penalty for being wrong ever again. On the other hand, I guess if there's never a penalty for being or doing wrong, I wouldn't have to apologize for stuff anymore.

SPENCER: I know, here we strip ourselves of Very Serious Personhood by conceding that we make mistakes from time to time. These people need to purge themselves of their inner Bush Administration.

MEGAN: Why, if you admit you were wrong once, you might be admitting that you could be wrong in the future!!

SPENCER: Here's another thing about Joe Lieberman, speaking of. According to TPM's Justin Elliot, Lieberman granted an interview to a McCarthyite in which he smeared American Muslim communities as seedbeds of terrorism — I mean, even the reactionary New Republic knows that's not true. And this guy is the head of a homeland security committee.

MEGAN: What the motherfuck? Jim Webb, I don't call you because I know you carry a gun and I don't want you to pull a Dick Cheney on me (although I'm not a lawyer), but I'm calling you. You got elected on being a tough guy, so be a tough guy. A little metaphorical birdshot to the face won't kill Lieberman, and no one will mind if you aim lower. Anyway, speaking of testicular fortitude, Obama yesterday apparently asked Bush to get off his ass and do something about preventing a GM bankruptcy and Bush reportedly said he would "think" about it as part of a stimulus plan... but only if Dems pass the Colombia FTA as part of said stimulus. You know, one of the things Obama explicitly campaigned against. And so rather than rolling over and capitulating to the least popular outgoing President in modern history — and I actually support the Colombia FTA, don't get me wrong — I think Reid, Pelosi and Obama should just let him veto an economic stimulus package. You know, call his fucking bluff for once.

SPENCER: Josh reported that Obama was like don't give me that shit about your agenda in his meeting with Bush yesterday. I can see Bush being petulant about this sort of thing. Why do you support a free trade deal with Colombia?

MEGAN: Well, for one, I generally support lower tariffs on imports because higher tariffs aren't effective industry savers (it just staves off the inevitable) and because it lowers my prices as a consumer. Rather than trying to save individual industries by an overarching, government-run, slow-moving industrial policy managed by a bunch of wonks and bureaucrats in D.C. with little real-world experience in running or financing businesses, I would rather see our government focus on education, re-training, economic growth writ large and stop trying to pick winners and losers. I also get annoyed at the Democratic rhetoric about how there aren't enforceable labor and environmental standards in the main text of the agreement because it's intellectually disingenuous — the "main text" is literally a list of tariffs and how we have agreed to lower them and everything else including agreements on service and market opening, labor and environment and quote-unquote side agreements that are, indeed, enforceable. Colombia's actually a relatively decent agreement and it's not an economic threat to our economy. But I also understand that Obama just ran on a platform that opposes it.

SPENCER: Aren't the politics of such a thing toxic? Obama needs to pass a stimulus bill first-things-first to stop the fuck-uppage of the economy. Forcing a free-trade fight at the outset seems like a poor idea. Not that you're arguing otherwise. But this is all I can contribute to the conversation.

MEGAN: That is, in fact, my argument. Obama shouldn't let Bush force his hand (my personal feelings on the bill aside) on the FTA to get the stimulus, but it's the sort of thing Pelosi and Reid have been caving on for the last two years. And the unions will scream to the heavens even if he does get an auto industry preservation plan out of it. He should tell both Bush and Chuck Norris to fuck off already.

SPENCER: Wow:

They had come for my wallet./ They wanted my pay/ To give to the others,/ Who had not worked a day!

So now we know that what's behind Chuck Norris' beard isn't in fact another fist but a douchenozzle. It must feel so impotent, to know that individually you can kick anyone's ass, but 65 million Americans kicked yours a week ago.

MEGAN: Technically, I think the Republicans alone kicked his ass back when they didn't vote for Huckabee, so the bitterness has had some time to build.

SPENCER: Oh one last thing: for all you veterans out there, thank you, and may you be blessed with free health care, generous education benefits and friendly golden retrievers forevermore on behalf of a grateful nation.

• Once upon a time in a universe far, far away, a group of supposely intelligent women decided that Barack Obama wasn't sexy enough for them. And thus the world was denied his image in a Harvard Law beefcake calendar. I guess we'll always have People. [Politico]
• Obama has told people he wants Lieberman to continue to caucus with the Dems, something Lieberman is swearing that he won't do if Democrats take his committee assignment away. Let the whiny bitch go, please. "No drama Obama" doesn't have to mean rolling over for Lieberman. [Huffington Post]
• Speaking of the Senate, the difference between Norm Coleman and Al Franken in the Minnesota Senate race is down to 204 votes. One more reason to cut the dead weight, Harry Reid. [MSNBC]

• There's a fake guy who claims to be the one who told Fox News that Sarah Palin didn't know about NAFTA. He claims to be best buds with Randy Scheunemann and "added" that she didn't know the difference between Hezbollah and Hamas, Sunnis and Shi'ites or the IRA and ETA. [Politico, Fake Martin Eisenstadt]
• None of that will delay the start of Palin's comeback tour, which begins this week at the Republican Governor's Association in Miami. [Washington Post]
• She's headed there once she's done sorting through her massive wardrobe to find the clothes the RNC desperately needs back. You know, the clothes she never wore that lived in the belly of the campaign plane after the convention. Those clothes. [Associated Press]
• Howard Dean is going to leave the DNC. [Washington Post]
• Former DNC Chair Terry McAuliffe is going to run for Governor of Virginia. [Politico]
• And everyone in the world is calling Obama on the phone, including Russian Putin-puppet President Dmitry Medvedev. No wonder he always has the thing up to his ear when he's getting out of a car lately! [Washington Post]

• Though Barack obama told Americans nothing about forthcoming nominations, that doesn't mean there's nothing to speculate about! John Kerry, Chris Dodd and Bill Richardson are lead speculative Secretary of State candidates, Robert Gates might stay at the Defense Department, Janet Napolitano could be headed to Justice and former eBay executive Steve Westly, the Governator or Kathleen Sebelius could end up at DOE. Discuss at your leisure — Obama certainly is. [CNN, Politico]
• The President-Elect has included sexual orientation and gender identity in his non-discrimination pledge on hiring, which is awesome. [ACLU]
• Harry Reid is a little pissed about Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman's Obama-bashing during his balls-out support of John McCain this election season — to say nothing of his current flirtation with Mitch McConnell and the GOP caucus. He is thinking of allowing the Democratic caucus to strip Lieberman of his committee chair, which Lieberman calls "unacceptable" and everyone else calls "no less than he deserves." [CNN, Huffington Post]
• Unlike the obstreperous Lieberman, Appropriations Committee Chairman Robert Byrd is stepping aside as chairman because he's confident of the new Democratic majority and, likely, because of his continuing ill health. Sadly, this means no more "barbaric" speeches. [The Hill, YouTube]

• In what may be the most disturbing charitable donation of all time, some of the clothing items the Palins need to return to the RNC include Todd's silk boxers. And you thought her plane left skid marks when it left Phoenix! [Washington Post]
• To counter that image, Sarah Palin's going to do an interview with Greta Van Susteren. Nope, don't think that image is getting out of my head regardless, sorry. [LA Times]
• Right-wing South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint is pissed that McConnell isn't going to expel Senate Ted "McBribe-y" Stevens from the Senate during the lame duck session. Yes, Virginia, some Republicans do have principles. [Politico]
• The best quote that ever has been said or ever will be said about Rahm Emanuel: "Emanuel, on the other hand, is a drama queen; seething, foaming Mamet production; a big mouth; and a calculating mensch who loves nothing more than to stoke the feed bag for press-corps noshers." Oh, this is going to be an epic White House. [Politico]
• Obama's aunt — who the right-wingers discovered far too late has overstayed her deportation order — has decided to fight in court for the right to remain in the U.S. She's not in great health, reportedly, which would seem like humanitarian grounds to let her stay but our immigration system isn't exactly known for being humanitarian in nature. [MSNBC]
• Neither are Americans, two of whom in New Jersey set a cross ablaze on the lawn of an Obama supporter. Racism: officially no longer confined to The South. Please make a note of it. [Editor & Publisher]
• In slightly better news, there is talk about automatically registering every eligible citizen to vote and expanding early voting so that this ACORN-caging-voter challenges nonsense can finally just end. God, how awesome would that be? [NY Times]

• If you weren't already aware, voter turnout is really high. That's led to some scattered problems, which will be chronicled after the jump. [Washington Post]
• In the mean time, the fucking Supreme Court heard the fucking case about fucking swearing on fucking TV. They didn't say "fuck" once, so I felt like someone had to. [Washington Post]
• A lot of people in California who really love each other rushed to get married today in case a bunch of small-minded, easily-led voters decide to make it illegal today for them to do so tomorrow. [NY Times]
• Joe Lieberman "fears" for the future of this country if the Democrats gain a filibuster-proof majority today, and has vowed to join with Republicans to filibuster anything they want to show his contempt for his constituents and the Americans who decided they were okay with a Democratic Senate. [Think Progress]

• Actor Tim Robbins was the most prominent victim of the ironically-named Help America Vote Act's mandated purges of voter rolls today. Being rather well-informed, he took his ass to court to force the city of New York to allow him to vote in the regular fashion, rather than provisionally since it would have gotten discarded. Can we just agree HAVA needs to be revisited next year? [NY Times]
• Rudy and Judith Nathan Giuliani apparent had no such difficulties and even got to cut in line. [Village Voice]
• Some people in Detroit waited 4-5 hours to vote. [CNN]
• Ditto in St. Louis. [CNN]
• A bunch of people in New Mexico that requested absentee ballots never got them and were told to show up and cast provisional ballots, as though if one needed to vote absentee that was a possibility. [CNN]
• At one Florida voting site, they had one machine to accommodate all the voters. Yeah, it was in a predominately African-American neighborhood. [Huffington Post]
• There were big problems with broken machines and a lack of paper ballots in Richmond, Virginia today, too. [Huffington Post]
• In Indiana, the GOP violated a judges orders and tried to challenge the voting status of foreclosed-upon voters. [Huffington Post]
• Some voters in Ohio were forced to cast provisional ballots (which might or might not be counted) because poll workers screwed up and thought that the address on the license had to match the address on the registration. It doesn't. [CNN]
• A 92-year-old woman in Texas cast her ballot from an ambulance outside the polling place when her absentee ballot didn't arrive. [CBS]
• Joe the Motherfucking Plumber went to the wrong polling place and tried to good ol' "Do you know who I am?" when he got stopped for speeding this week. Fuck. Off. Dude. [Wonkette]
• Joining JTMP in fucking off should be P.U.M.A. co-founder Will Bower. [CNN]
• Not that she swears, but 114-year-old Gertrude Baines, the daughter of former slaves who voted for Obama today, probably shares that sentiment. [LA Times]

• John McCain has decided that since everyone is annoyed at him for lying and being a dick when he's called out on it, he's going to say Obama is lying and being a dick when he's called out on it. That's still lying, John, you're missing the point here. [Gawker]
• He was then promptly called out for lying again, not that he cares. [Swampland]
• And for being all for anti-abortion terrorists and their rights to harass and commit acts of violence against women and reproductive health care providers. Even better? Nancy PfotenhauerPfuckingsucks set him up for it by mistake. [Think Progress]
• He's probably still wondering why Obama is ahead in the national polls, though. [CNN]

• The Dow, unlike Obama's poll numbers, continues to shrink. [Washington Post]
• Katie Couric is annoyed that Sarah Palin is blaming her poor interview on editing. [Politico]
• Lieberman thinks God will propel Sarah Palin to the Presidency. Unfortunately, neither God nor Jesus is an American, so they can't vote. [TNR]
• Last call for voter registration in many states, so check yours here and fucking do it already if you haven't. [Vote411]
• Michelle Bruce, whose second race for City Council was undermined by her opponents' attempts to force her to expose the status of her bits, finally won her lawsuit that she didn't mislead voters by identifying as Michelle. [Wonkette, Brattleboro Reformer]

First of all, you think it's absolutely hilarious to call attractive male politicians gay! In today's piece, you say, "American men know how to deal with male politicians. When they're good-looking, we call them gay. When they're not, we call them 'distinguished-looking' or 'Joe Lieberman.'" Such rapier wit has seldom been found outside a vomit-stained frat basement. What's even sadder is that this isn't even original hackery from you. When you wrote about how to make fun of Obama, you said, "He's well-dressed…He may only be half-black, but he's three-quarters gay." ROTFL indeed!

Okay, now let's get to the meat of your assertions about Palin's sexiness. Stein says, "In fact, what's sexist is men's fear of sexualizing the women we take seriously," which would be a good point, if you didn't preface that statement by writing, "When she posed for Vogue last year, Palin said of the media, 'I wish they'd stick with the issues instead of discussing my black go-go boots.' A good method of getting reporters to do that, of course, is to not pose for Vogue or talk about your go-go boots. Still, I understand her point. Which is that she wears go-go boots." Oh Joel, you clearly take Palin incredibly seriously…as an object.

Then there's the flat-out-insulting pretending to be "funny." "In the last few years — for reasons I assume have to do with either yoga, organic food or advice from Dr. Oz — women in their 40s and 50s have gotten truly, deeply hot. Madonna hot. Demi Moore hot. Stifler's mom hot. In 1990, the only way a woman could have had five kids and still look like Palin was to have been knocked up in high school with quintuplets," you write. It's a double whammy of ists! Sexist and ageist! Well played.

So now is where I will say one thing in defense of this mostly-fucked up attempt at funniness. "I would like to live in a world in which young men dream about sex with a woman who is vice president instead of whatever job it is that Kim Kardashian holds," Stein writes. And to be honest, we'd like to live in that world too! A woman can both be attractive and powerful, and we'd love to live in a world where the highest levels of success add to a woman's allure, instead of subtracting from it.

Unfortunately, just as you said up top, you're far more focused on Sarah Palin's go-go boots than you are on her fiscal policy (even though you claim to be a fan of the latter as well!). And that, in a nutshell, is what's wrong with this campaign: people are far more concerned with all the superficial trappings of Palin than they are with what's going on behind those rimless glasses.

Real Vice Presidents Can Have Curves [LAT]

Earlier: Joel Stein: American Original
And Now All The Bloggers Hate Joel Stein
Every Day Is Slutoween