Today in Tweet Beat, Chris Brown's got no class—because he finished it. Plus, check out what Coco's body looks like, from her POV.

Today in Tweet Beat, Denise Richards is writing a book about her life, but won't be "trashing anyone." Also, Cindy McCain's new 'do and Jeremy Piven's new love.

Today in Tweet Beat, John Mayer apologizes for using the N-word, and celebs—like Talib Kweli, Margaret Cho, Ice-T—opine on his "white supremacist" penis and other remarks from his Playboy interview. Speaking of racist dicks, it's Glenn Beck's birthday!

Today in Tweet Beat, Michael Lohan is like school in summer—he's got no class. Also, Denise Richards implies that she'll one day spill the beans about all of Charlie Sheen's bullshit, and Jay Manuel's tan is real.

Today in Tweet Beat, Christina Applegate gets cheesy about body image, Joan Rivers snarks Sophia Loren's plastic surgery, and Snooki loves the mall.

Today in Tweet Beat, Scott Baio hates on Lady GaGa, Kate Major says she knows Jon Gosselin is a good person, and Lisa Rinna posts a picture sans makeup.

Today in Tweet Beat, Bob Saget remembers old times, Candace Cameron has new shoes, Jane Fonda is hanging out with Cat Stevens, and the Fort Hood tragedy reminds Hugh Hefner—and us—how freaking old he is.

Today in Tweet Beat, Lindsay claims the voicemail recordings her father released are from "years ago," Levi Johnston is kind of a big deal, and Star Jones is ready to be a poster child for weight loss.

Today in Tweet Beat, Levi Johnston is still on the fence about posing full-frontal, Kirstie Alley has a stalker, and Kelly Osbourne got a new puppy.

Today in Tweet Beat, Michael Lohan says (via Kate Major) that this Twitter account is fake (but we're not really buying that), Martha Stewart keeps posting pictures of gross stuff, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck returns to Twitter from maternity leave.

Today in Tweet Beat, celebs like Pete Wentz, Alyssa Milano, and Simon Pegg tweet about the "balloon boy," Travis Barker is having his tattoo of Shanna Moakler's name covered up, and Paula Abdul is confused.

Today in Tweet Beat, some "butthole" hacked into Billy Ray Cyrus' account, Sherri Shepherd gives relationship advice, and Jessica Simpson wants you to respect her dead dog's memory.

Today in Tweet Beat, Spencer still loves antagonizing Lauren, Tyra is still trying to make "smize" happen, and Yoko is still a hippie.

Today in Tweet Beat, celebs like Chris Brown, Pink, Katy Perry, Jenna Jameson, and Ricky Martin all turn to Twitter to weigh in on Kanye West's behavior at last night's VMAs.

Today in Tweet Beat, Jody Watley is jealous that Ellen DeGeneres has two jobs, Stevie Wonder watches Real Housewives of Atlanta, and Kim Zolciak does her usual climbing.