• Avril Lavigne has officially filed for divorce from Sum 41's Deryck Whibley.

They were married 3 years and 1 month, and Avril cites "irreconcilable differences." She also doesn't want to have to pay him any money. If he does want spousal support, she'll be forced to ask, "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?" [TMZ]

• Interesting: The guy arrested for allegedly burglarizing Lindsay Lohan's house, Nick Prugo, is friends with Teen Dream Drake Bell. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin would like for you to know that he will "continue on television" and that he's "not worried about future employment." Great. [NY Daily News]
• Alex Rodriguez flew from New York to Miami for one night to "wine and dine" Kate Hudson, who was in South Beach. Romantic! Oh but A-Rod's ex-wife, Cynthia, and their two daughters live in Miami, and Alex also wanted to see his kids. Romantic? [Page Six]
• "Leona Lewis hit in the face by maniac who then screamed ‘I love you.'" Don't get it. [Mirror]
• Apparently the guy was at the bookstore event where Leona Lewis was signing autographs for 90 minutes. A witness says the man walked up with the book, she signed it, and as she looked up he punched her. People could hear the impact. Then security jumped on the man — who was laughing — and Leona was hustled out with her hand over her eye. Leona says she is "ok." [BBC News]
• Taylor Swift will host Saturday Night Live next month. Will there be a Kanye West sketch? Taylor says: "I've been thinking about skit ideas for a long time. There are definitely some hilarious things that have happened to me over the past couple of months that I think will be pretty substantial skits." The problem is that SNL needs more black people. Keenan would not make a good Kanye. Or Beyoncé, frankly. [AP]
• Love love love this 10 Questions With Tracy Morgan column. When asked, "What are the cast members for 30 Rock like to work with? Tracy answers: "I don't know what they do when they're at home. Tina - she's a mother and a wife. We don't hang out. But at 30 Rock, everybody pretty much gets along. Jack McBrayer, we're very close, and it was an honor to be nominated [for an Emmy] in the same category with him. If he would've won, that means we would've won. If I would've won, that means I would've won. I'm not sharing my award with nobody." Also, his healthcare advice is interesting. [Time]
• Kanye West is "thankful" that a law was named after his mother. The measure will protect people from "unnecessary bodily trauma" that could result from elective cosmetic surgery procedures, if they are not physically fit to undergo surgery. [Radar Online]
• As you may recall, Fox NFL Sunday showed a skit mocking Jessica Simpson's weight. Now Fox says: "Burger King Corp. did not have any editorial input in the creation of the animation that ran last Sunday, and no one from Burger King Corp. approved it before it aired. Upon reflection, our poor attempt at humor was insensitive and we deeply apologize to anyone who might have been offended." [Us Magazine]
• The shitty sound of this dumb video of John Mayer partying in a gay bar nearly blew out my speakers, so beware. [ Radar Online]
• "Howard K. Stern helped Anna Nicole Smith crush, cook, inject Valium, ex-bodyguard testifies." [NY Daily News]
• Maria Shriver has issued an apology for illegally using her cell phone while driving and will donate her favorite old cell phone to the HopeLine program that helps domestic violence shelters. [TMZ]
• Will the editors really choose to put Tara Reid on the December cover of Playboy instead of Kelly Bensimon? [Fox News Pop Tarts]
• Michael Jackson's This Is It is selling out all over the world. [NY Daily News]
• Ew, Mariah Carey calls Nick Cannon "DJ Sex Fingers." As the kids say: Vom. [Page Six]
• "Spike Jonze had ex-girlfriend Karen O of Yeah Yeah Yeahs record Where the Wild Things Are music." She says: "It's the best way to continue the relationship in a professional way." [Gatecrasher]
• Is Kids Incorporated to blame for Fergie's meth habit? She says: "What happens when you're a child professional is that you have to be, well, professional. You're taught not to have tantrums, to always people-please. That's part of how I got into (drugs) later." Hmm. [NY Post]
• So you know how Jimmy Kimmel's girlfriend Molly McNearney works for his show? "Staff members are said to troubled by the romance and the unfair promotions it's earned McNearney." [MSNBC via Radar and Gawker]
• In the David Letterman case, the prosecutor wants to keep search warrants sealed and for a hearing to take place behind closed doors. [E!, AP]
• It's CBS vs. CBS in the David Letterman investigation. [NY Post]
• "Stephen Gately smoked cannabis on the night of his death." [Telegraph]
• Jodie Foster, Mel Gibson and Mel Gibson's beaver were hanging out in a high school in White Plains. [Page Six]
• Jeremy London (Mallrats, Party Of Five) may default on his mortgage unless he pays $12,856.81. [TMZ]
• Andrew Keegan was accused of abusing a former girlfriend, but a judge rejected the woman's request for a restraining order after hearing evidence. [TMZ]
• The Beckhams were named "best modern family" in a random online poll. [Mirror]
• "And I think for Letterman to get up there and say ‘I'm the innocent victim and I had some consensual sex'-and he actually said some interesting things: He used the word ‘creepy'-well, the last time I tried it, consensual sex wasn't creepy." — defense attorney Gerald Shargel, who has represented John Gotti. [The Daily Beast]
• "If I see Brody Jenner, he is dead… [He] has the smallest penis I have ever seen." — Always classy Joe Francis, who apparently has experience with seeing Brody naked? [Page Six]
• "I'm afraid it's because they are good. When [co-star and ex-wife] Connie and I wrote them we took about six weeks to write each episode, which is unheard of. People who care a lot spend 10 days, most people do it in a week. But the fact is, we used to write 135 to 140 pages (per episode) ... There was so much in the shows that people could watch them a lot of times because they would forget the things that are in them ... And secondly, in the character Basil we nailed a certain kind of English lower-middle-class type who people are aware of and who, I think, does exist in quite a lot of people." — John Cleese, on Fawlty Towers. [Reuters]
• "Just as what you are feeling in your life affects your acting, what you act in definitely affects what you are feeling in your life. And whether you want it to or not, and even if you don't know it, it bleeds into your life. I made 'Heat' when I was 14 and played a girl who died. A year later, I got into a fight with my mother and cut myself. I had never done it before and I never did it after that, but I think having my wrists bloody in a movie definitely affected my psyche." — Natalie Portman, whose film New York, I Love You starts Friday. [LA Times]
• "People have told me, 'You could just go out there and play guitar and sing your songs like Paul McCartney,' but I'd be too bored. Most of the joy of the shows is the magic of creating them — theater. I'm a perfectionist. I like hard work. I like to sweat." — Madonna. [Page Six]
• "Listen, I would love to tell you that I was this wonderfully smart and full-of-integrity kinda guy. But at the same time, man, I wanted to get laid. That was a big part of it! This is why I wanted to be different and why I wanted to have power and fame and money: because I wanted to be attractive to the opposite sex. I'd be lying to you if I didn't say that was a big part of it." — Michael Bublé. [Telegraph]

[New York, October 12. Image via WENN.]

[Upstate NY, September 28. Image via Splash.]

• Chris Brown, currently on his National Bow Tie Apology Tour, says he's ready to meet with a counselor: "I want to understand my feelings. I want to find out what really transpired as far as me that night."[People]

• "Sometimes when you're young you don't know how to express [your emotions]," Brown says, "so I think it actually would be helpful to talk to a counselor or to somebody who has an expertise in what those [feelings] are." [People]
• Kim Kardashian is busy planning her sister, Kourtney's baby shower: "
  "The baby is coming," Kim says, "All this stuff is going to take so much time, and it's going to be exciting at the same time." The sisters will no doubt spend most of the party discussing the baby, who will most likely be named Klara or Korin or Kashlee or some such. [People]
• Lori Petty has pled no contest to DUI in connection with a drunken driving arrest from last May and currently has completed 30 days of her court-ordered 60 day outpatient alcohol-treatment program. [TMZ]
• "Scientology is something that's been in my life for 18 years. It's so greatly helped me. Helps me keep the stress down, the happiness up and gives me tools for living a better life. I kind of ignore all the craziness in the press."- Jenna Elfman [LATimes]
• In awesome news: Tim Gunn is set to star in his own Marvel comic book storyline titled "Loaded Gunn," wherein he will fight "crimes against fashion." The comic is part of Marvel's reintroduction of the 60's series "Models, Inc." Maybe he'll use his superpowers to find out whatever happened to Andrae? [AP]
• "We don't target the kind of people who wear money, you know, those that would kill to have the latest designer handbag. We are more for the disenfranchised. We have a punk attitude, I guess."- Boy George on his new clothing line, B-Rude. [People]
• Anna Paquin enjoys working with her boyfriend, Stephen Moyer: "It's great to have the freedom to enjoy your work and not feel like you're leaving your other life behind. It's a pretty sweet setup." [People]
• Susan Boyle's dream appears to be coming true: her album, which doesn't even hit stores until November, is currently #1 on Amazon's best-seller list. [E!]
• Rev. Al Sharpton apparently forgot about the "private" aspect of Michael Jackson's private memorial service and Tweeted his way through the entire ceremony. [E!]
• "We would like to thank all of Michael's loving fans for their tremendous support, and ask that in Michael's memory give of yourself to the charities he believed in, and keep the magic going!"-LaToya Jackson [People]
• Just in case you care: Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are totally "hanging out" again. [People]
• "Wonderful. One of the absolute best I've worked with. For me, it's her and Jodie Foster. You just don't get any better than that."-Anthony Hopkins on his The Wolf Man co-star, Emily Blunt. [DailyExpress]
• The Edge was quite embarrassed when he realized that a song he'd written sounded a little too close to the a White Stripes tune: "I went back and listened, and it wasn't exactly (Seven Nation Army), but it was way too close," he says, "I played it for Jack [White], and he was like, 'Mmm, it's a bit close, isn't it?'" [DailyExpress]
• Jack Tweed the widower of British reality star Jade Goody, has been arrested on charges that he raped a 19-year-old woman. [DailyMail]
• Apparently, the new female Saturday Night Live hires were replacements, not additions, as Casey Wilson and Michaela Watkins won't be returning to the show this season. [TheComicsComic]
• Screen legend Gary Cooper will be honored with his own postage stamp. [UPI]
• Mark Wahlberg and wife Rhea Durham who already have three children together, are expecting their fourth. [USWeekly]
• "I, in no way, support the destruction of Israel. I am for the two-state solution. I have been to Israel many times and love the country and its people."-Jane Fonda, in response to accusations by Rabbi Marvin Hier that her signature on a letter stating that Tel Aviv was built on destroyed Palestinian villages is a sign that she supports "the complete destruction of Israel." [TMZ]
• The paparazzi is making life tough for Robert Pattinson: "It's a nightmare," says a source, "He almost never leaves the hotel except to go to the set. And when he does, the crew has to go great lengths to find ways to transport him from one location to another undetected. Because of the paparazzi, Rob has been unable to interact with his many fans." Sleep with one eye open, paparazzi. The Twihards do not take kindly to being blocked from their sparkly vampire dreamboats. [ShowbizSpy]
• "The film should be on airlines in two months and off everyone's resume within three. No animals including the horse were injured making the film, so "Steve" counts as no great crime. Bit it does leave one question: Why did anybody think an attractive female star should wear red boots in every scene of a movie?"-Kirk Honeycutt on the Sandra Bullock.Bradley Cooper film, All About Steve. [Reuters]

• Joe Jackson says the rumors that Michael Jackson has a secret son, 25-year-old Omer Bhatti (not pictured!), are true. "I knew he had another son, yes I did," said Joe.

• He added: "He looks like a Jackson, he acts like a Jackson, he can dance like a Jackson…" When asked if Omer may become an entertainer Joe replies, "I don't know. I can't say that yet. Not until I see it happen," and gives a creepy laugh. Part of the News One interview is available here: [News One, E!]
• This morning on The Early Show, Katherine Jackson's lawyer announced that she will get custody of Michael Jackson's three kids and Debbie Rowe will have visitation rights. He added, "Mrs. Jackson is coping by continuing the business of love and serving as that rock for the family. She's the Rose Kennedy, the Coretta Scott King of the world's entertainment business, really. And she's coping by continuing to give love, and that's all she's ever done. Mrs. Jackson is gonna keep going strong and, with the love and support of her family, she'll be fine." [CBS News]
• When Jude Law announced that he's fathered the child of an anonymous woman yesterday, many speculated that it was Rachel McAdams' sister. Now several news outlets are reporting that it is indeed Kayleen McAdams. Kayleen is reportedly seven months pregnant and only told Jude recently. Rachel is said to be "pissed" about the situation. [Star]
• But Kayleen's rep denies she's having Jude's baby, saying "The story is completely false. She has never even met him." [Radar Online]
• A photographer has filed a police report because he claims Mel Gibson ripped his shirt after he got too close to him and pregnant fiancée Oksana Grigorieva. No charges have been filed. [E!]
• Police sources say their investigation revealed the photographer made up the story and that there is no way Mel Gibson could have reached the man because he was wedged in a booth behind his fiancée. Witnesses say he was asked to leave at least three times and his shirt wasnt' ripped when he left the club. [TMZ]
• Here's a picture of the man whose shirt Mel Gibson allegedly tore. The tear isn't as scary as the way the man's face was blurred with Photoshop. [TMZ]
• Though Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush denied infidelity was the cause of their split, both have been accused of cheating. A source says Reggie found incriminating texts from Kanye West on her phone. Now a "sexy Latino model in Miami" is claiming she had an affair with Reggie. She's threatening to sell her story to the highest bidding tabloid, so we expect to read all about her in Midweek Madness soon. [Radar Online]
• Here's video of Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush taken during their trip to Africa on behalf of Russell Simmons' Diamond Empowerment Fund right before they broke up. [People]
• A source claims that Mischa Barton was hospitalized because she tried to kill herself because she was fired from The Beautiful Life, but was later rehired. Her rep denies that she tried to commit suicide or was ever fired. [E!]
• Mischa Barton's Beautiful Life co-star Nico Tortorella says, "She's doing great, and is ready to work... Everybody wants to see her get better and I think she will. I'm here for her; I think we all are. She has good people fostering good situations." [The Mirror]
• Jon and Kate Plus 8 returns on Monday. TLC has revealed that Kate Gosselin will say about her kids, "It is not their fault that what has transpired has transpired... And it is my new attitude that I'm going to do things I've never done before. That is what has stemmed out of all of that — 'I can do.'" [Entertainment Tonight]
• Sources claim Kate Gosselin bought an apartment in Rockville, Md. to be closer to her (married) bodyguard Steve Neild. [CBS News]
• But now Kate's changed her mind and won't be moving to Rockville after all. [Radar Online]
• A source close to Kate explains, "She is not buying or renting in the area. Kate was having lunch there, and after spending a total of one hour in a restaurant that has condos for sale above it, a rumor began that somehow, suddenly, she was buying a condo there. She didn't even know there were apartments for sale there. It's totally false." [People]
• Oh no. Are Heidi and Specer Pratt expecting a child? This obviously staged photograph of Heidi holding baby clothes as Spencer rubs her belly says yes. [The Sun]
• Two Ohio police chiefs have been arrested for allegedly conspiring to break into the home of Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate, along with a third man, the mayor of Bridgeport, Ohio's son. [TMZ]
• Katherine Dieckmann, director of Uma Thurman's new movie Motherhood says a cameo in which Jodie Foster is hounded by the paparazzi was inspired by Sarah Jessica Parker. "I would go to that playground all the time and poor Sarah Jessica Parker would come with her son and she would be harassed!" Dieckmann said. "She literally could not push her kid on the swing set without a picture being taken. I just saw a picture of [pregnant] Heidi Klum at that park. They come here and stalk people." [E!]
• Ashley Tisdale says of the paparazzi, "They're outside my house all the time. It's kind of annoying. Sometimes I'll go about my day by myself and there are 40-year-old men taking pictures of me and I don't know who they are. They should start wearing badges." [Reuters]
• Aliens In The Attic producer Barry Josephson says he wanted Ashley Tisdale to be in the movie because she's the "new generation Reese Witherspoon or Jennifer Aniston." Um... ok.[Reuters]
• Here's a video of Zac Efron bungee jumping. [People]
• Production of Jessica Simpson's reality show The Price of Beauty has to be rescheduled because of her split from Tony Romo. "The plan was to shoot most of it around Tony's football schedule so she could support him through the season," said a show staffer, "Now they're busy redoing the whole shooting schedule." [Us]
• Someone filmed a video of 19-year-old Kristen Stewart drinking a Heineken during an on-set party for The Runaways, then not buckling her seat belt as she drove away. The video has been taken down because her publicist says it was illegally shot on private property. [Perez Hilton]
• Nikki Reed has solved the mystery of why so many girls are in love with her Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson. "Rob is sort of feminine looking and I think young girls like boys that look like women," she said. [People]
• Heath Ledger's family stopped going to the movies after his death, but they broke their "movie fast" at a screening of Adam on Tuesday, which stars Ledger's childhood friend Kane Manera. [The Daily Express]
• Dominic Monaghan says he his newfound fame after Lord of the Rings "was hard - I had a tough year, I had a tough year and a half. Kind of too much drinking. Too many late nights hanging out with the wrong women - maybe the right women but at the wrong time. Kind of going off the rails a little bit. I think maybe I had to do that personally to get over the rollercoaster ride that Lord Of The Rings was." [The Daily Express]
• Foreigner is releasing a three disk set of new and classic songs exclusively at Wal-Mart. Mick Jones says the band made the deal with Wal-Mart because, "To me, the most important thing is that the band regains recognition again and proves in a way that it is a force. It's been around for 30 years, and there are few other bands that have been around for that long. I'd like to regain our position in that club." [AP]
• Paula Abdul is back in the U.S. after a trip to England. She still hasn't worked out her American Idol deal, the folks at Radar just wanted to let you know where she is. [Radar Online]
• Last weekend, Tim McGraw stopped during a performance and kicked a guy out because he was "being abusive" to a woman he was with. He told the crowd, "You don't treat a woman like that." [TMZ]
• Pink says of MTV's Video Music Awards, "Last year I got to jump out of a window at the VMAs in L.A. "This year I can't wait to blow the roof off Radio City in New York." [People]
• Courtney Love Tweeted: "@taylorxmomsen shut the FUCK up you overpriveliged bratty bitch that picked one every freak in high school mention my name again? BAM... if i was pissy about every chick that every bit me id be busy indeed your just annoyingly cloyingly wrong. WORKWITHYRHANDS." Too bad @taylorxmomsen doesn't exist. [N.Y. Magazine]
• On Friday Christina Aguilera's online radio channel on Clear Channel's "iheart radio" network will debut. It will feature "interviews, news, personal commentary from Aguilera as well as her favorite tunes." [AP]
• Jani Lane, lead singer of Warrant, will spend two days in jail after pleading no contest to DUI charges. [TMZ]
• This interview with Jeremy Piven may be slightly entertaining if you're into his new movie The Goods. [CNN]
• Amy Poehler will return to do Weekend Update on the first two episodes of Saturday Night Live next season. Really! [Entertainment Weekly]
• In a recent interview Leslie Mann said of husband Judd Apatow, "He's growing up and learning more about women so he's able to write better female parts," but then reconsidered and said of Katherine Heigl calling Knocked Up sexist, "I kind of don't know what she was talking about, I'm an actress reading scripts and I've seen what's out there and it's slim pickings. Judd does write great female parts." [CBS News]
• Ashton Kutcher autographed his own face for the new cover of Parade. Here's some more about how much he loves Demi Moore: "The real trick is putting yourself around people you admire. That's why I married my wife. I locked in the brightest light in the room. My wife and I have an agreement in our marriage, and part of that contract is that we are going to shine our lights on each other. … My relationship with Demi is so solid, thank God, and we're so communicative about the way that we're feeling, that we don't allow space to come between us." [JustJared]
• "I used to cry almost every night [when I was in high school]. My parents would say, 'Don't worry. College will be better!'... With high school, for many people, it's just a case of trying to keep breathing and getting through it. I'd have felt more like a normal teenager if I had a boyfriend. But I never did. And I didn't like any of the guys in school. In fact, they all seemed so simplistic that I really could not see myself dating any of them." — Lisa Kudrow [The Telegraph]
• Mark-Paul Gosselaar says he's not worried about Dustin Diamond writing a Saved By The Bell tell-all book because, "What is he going to say? We were banging groupies at 14? I can't wait to read his book, because I don't have a memory of a lot of the shows. Maybe it was because I was doing lines off of the audience members' asses. I'm sure he's going to write something crazy like that. The truth is─the reason why the show worked and why it's still on today─we were good people and good to each other. We were innocent, naive kids. We were not jaded. So him writing a book, I'm not really afraid of what he has to say. There are not too many skeletons in my closet." [Newsweek]
• Susan Sarandon's daughter Eva Amurri took three weeks of pole-dancing lessons for her role as a stripper on Californication. When asked if her mom approves, she replied: "My mom came to a strip class with me, actually. She had been so curious about it, and she tried a little bit. She was awesome." [NY Magazine]

• Forbes compiled a list of high-earning celebrities under 30, and Beyoncé is at number one: She brought home an estimated $87 million over the last year, which buys a lot of leotards. [Mirror]

• Lindsay Lohan turned down a role in The Hangover, because she said the screenplay "had no potential." Or maybe she didn't want to play a hooker with a heart of gold in a sorta sexist movie? [Page Six]
• A Facebook movie? Starring Shia LaBeouf as Mark Zuckerberg? Ok. [Gatecrasher]
• Did the Black Eyed Peas bite a track from musician Adam Freeland? [The Daily Swarm]
• Sharon Stone's rep says Sharon Stone did not have "air rage" and was not detained by police at the airport, but she was yelled at by a flight attendant. [Independent]
• Sarah Jessica Parker's new show, which will be like Project Runway, but for artists, has begun casting. According to this piece: 'Part of me was worried it would look too mercenary for certain artists,' she says. 'They might find it objectionable to use TV to talk about what they do.' The show might, she says, end up being 'more about people who feel comfortable with something risky,' by which she means the medium of TV itself. And yet, of course, the artwork created on the show can't be too risky, as it needs to be presentable to a prime-time audience." [mediabistro.com]
• Daniel Radcliffe injured! While filming Half-Blood Prince. He's fine. In fact, he says: "It was great actually, it was brilliant. "I was doing this scene where I fight a giant snake and, being the hi-tech, multi-million production that we are, the snake was being played by our stunt co-ordinator holding a long pole with a boxing glove tied to the end with gaffer tape. On the last take before lunch he really planted the front foot. I was fending it off with a chair and was caught unawares. The chair went flying into my top lip. To be honest, it was brilliant because I saw the playback later and I go down like a bloody boxer." [Telegraph via Esquire]
• Daniel Radcliffe: "I've been out with a couple of women who have been older than me. I think it's the maturity thing more than anything else, but that was when I was younger – girls my age are now mature, so it's great. I've widened the field!" [People]
• Guess what millions of users were doing on the web yesterday? Watching Michael Jackson's memorial, which drew huge traffic. (Although not as much as the Presidential inauguration in January.)[MediwWeek]
• Since the memorial is costing L.A. between $1.5 million and $4 million, the city has set up a website where people can make donations to help pay the bill for police and other public servants. [USA Today]
• "Jackson Memorial Made Fans Into Family: At memorial, the Jackson family invited a stadium of people into their lives." Also: What do the yellow ties and flowers mean? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Dionne Warwick on the Michael Jackson memorial: "He would've loved it. He would've loved it." [CNN]
• Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee promised a House resolution that would forever honor Michael Jackson, but such a resolution will likely face opposition in the House. [AP]
• CNN is now reporting "details" about Michael Jackson's body from a "source" — and the information — he was covered in needle marks; he was bald — sound just like the stuff The Sun printed, which turned out to be untrue. [CNN]
• The Austrian ambassador to the UK is urging people to protest Brüno, since it mocks his country, Nazis and... Josef Fritzl. [The Sun]
• Has the ending of Brüno been cut and changed? [Sydney Morning Herald]
• The Latoya Jackson scene — in which Sacha Baron Cohen's character tries to get Michael Jackson's phone number — has definitely been cut from Brüno. [Mirror]
• The last season of Lost: Producer Damon Lindelof says, "anything goes." [EW]
• Spotted: Mary J. Blige doing the Moonwalk. Wish there was video. [Page Six]
  
• If your dream is to see Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt dressed up as Sid and Nancy — where Joey is Nancy — your dream has come true. [ONTD, Cinemash]
• Roman Polanski's lawyers are still appealing for his decades-old case to be thrown out. [Mirror]
• Hamptons gossip: People drank champagne, Jon Bon Jovi sang, Nick Stahl fell asleep in the pantry! [NY Observer]
• Jodie Foster hearts surfing. [Page Six]
• Um, the Saturday Night Live skit "MacGruber" is going to be a movie. With Ryan Phillippe and Val Kilmer in negotiations to star alongside Will Forte and Kristen Wiig. Will the whole film be shot in a control room? [The Hollywood Reporter, Variety]
• 30 Rock episodes on Comedy Central? [Variety]
• Chitty Chitty Bang Bang banned from parade! [Daily Mail]
• Whatshisname wants to move to Australia after his divorce from Whatshername. [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which musically inclined young celeb has been dubbed - behind his back, of course - 'Lip Gloss' because he always puts it on before hitting a red carpet?" [Gatecrasher]
• "You don't have to pay for it, and it's unconditional. It's hard when you get cut off the road in traffic, but it's what I try to practice." — Taraji P. Henson, who is pro-love. [Gatecrasher]
• "Not smoking is a neverending struggle. You put a cigarette to your mouth, you light it, and you know that you're hurting yourself. I did it at least 10 times a day and my throat hurt, my voice was gone, but I still was attracted to it. It's the same thing as dating someone who's not great for you, or staying up all night before you have something really important to do the next day. It's something that we all do, and I'm not exactly clear as to why we do it." — Maggie Gyllenhaal. [Mirror]
• "The death scene, to me, was quite a difficult scene to film just because I have never in my own life, up until quite recently, never been bereaved. You can never imagine what that's like so you sort of feel like a bit of a phony when you're acting it out, but hopefully I did OK in the end." — Daniel Radcliffe. [Mirror]
• "I am not trying to get back with the Countess in any way, as your spies suggested. We will remain friends and take care of our children." — Count Alex de Lesseps. [Page Six]
• "Weight doesnt matter. At the end of the day everybody has a different standard for what turns them on. There are probably tons of men out there that find thick librarians smokin hottt! LOL. The way i dress represents who i am and i think everyone should just dress in whatever makes them feel good. And just for good measure, Wilkinson added, "And while im totally flattered u like the way i look and dress...i just hope u dont make other women feel like they have to wear a 'cloak' if they dont look like a Playmate!" — Kendra Wilkinson, in response to blog What Would Tyler Durden Do, which used a picture of her to write: "If a girl is built like Kendra, she should dress exactly like Kendra. Every day, all the time...If the girl isn't built like Kendra, um…I don't know. I guess maybe an invisibility cloak or something. What's the point to even being a girl if you're not gonna look like Kendra?" [Celebuzz]

The Good:
Loving Felicity Huffman's breezy, sunny (it can be both, right?) frock.


Why are these Fanning children - this is Elle - so ridiculously well-dressed?


Jodie Foster's all, yeah, I didn't even try...and look cool.


I am frightened of anyone this confident at...any age, but Mackenzie Milone certainly is working her cream shift!


The Bad:
Open neck is one thing. Off-the-shoulder is one thing. Looks-like-you-cut-it-yourself-too-big is quite another.


What Say You?
Dana Delaney: pretty or prissy?

[Images via Getty]

• Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady were wed yesterday in Santa Monica. The bride wore Dolce & Gabbana, and so did her three dogs. [Us Magazine]

• A source claims that often, and especially towards the end of the marriage, Guy Ritchie would call Madonna "It." As in "It's in a bad mood today." And "We can't make It angry." This paper has a helpful illustration of Cousin Itt wearing a pointy bra. [The Sun]
• Blake is no longer incarcerated! Amy Winehouse's husband got out of jail yesterday and says of the divorce: "It's all going ahead - but I don't really know what will happen." And! "It's just nice to be on the outside again. Now I am going to get over my drug habit." Amy, who is still in St. Lucia, may return to London to try and "save her marriage." Really? [The Sun]
• Will Chris Brown go to jail? Will the charges ever be filed? Is his crime a misdemeanor or a felony? So many questions, not enough answers. [People]
• Robert Pattinson and Hugh Jackman went out and did karaoke together in Tokyo. Ten bucks says they sang nothing but show tunes. [E!]
• Daniel Radcliffe took a "mystery brunette" out on a date and the paps were there to make things even more awkward! [Daily Mail]
• Remember how Jeremy Piven abruptly quit Speed-The Plow? A grievance hearing took place yesterday, but no agreement was reached. Will producers take it to court? [AP]
• Piven says he dropped out of the play after being examined by a "Harvard-educated cardiologist affiliated with Yale." So there. [TMZ]
• Piven cried twice during the 20 minute hearing and said he'd been "incredibly sick." [NY Times]
• Producers failed to prove that Piven should not have dropped out of the play. [People]
• Initiation ceremonies require Princes William and Harry to drink through a straw from a toilet filled with beer and strip naked to run the length of the runway at the Royal Air Force base in Lincolnshire. This is how you "earn your drinking wings" or something. [The Sun]
• So you know the little girl who played Latika in Slumdog? Rubina Ali? Her parents had to be pulled apart after brawling with each other at her homecoming yesterday. A neighbor says: "They were hitting each other and tearing each other's clothes off." Apparently her mom walked out when Rubina was four, leaving her father to care for her, and her father called the mom a "money grabber." Countered the mother: "I'm not here for money, I just want to celebrate the success." [The Sun]
• Crap: Azharuddin Mohammed, the ten-year-old boy who played young Salim in Slumdog was beaten by his father yesterday. He was tired from his flight from L.A. and refused his father's request to leave their shack and face the media; his father started hitting him. There's a picture of the kid crying. [Daily Mail]
• Even though Jewel hurt her knees while rehearsing, producers are "desperate" to keep her on Dancing With The Stars. [MSNBC]
• Early word is that Lil' Kim is the one to beat on Dancing With The Stars. Can't wait to see her costumes! [People]
• Russell Simmons has agreed to pay $40,000 a month in child support to Kimora Lee Simmons. She has sole custody of their 2 daughters. And now: Gobs of cash. [AP]
• Loving, loving Beyoncé's hair on the April 2009 cover of Ebony! [The Life Files]
• LOL: please just look at the expression on his face in these high school yearbook pictures of Will Ferrell! [TMZ]
• Jodie Foster was caught speeding, and it was caught on tape, but the footage won't be shown. Apparently she got "annoyed," "angry" and "agitated" with the cops. [Page Six]
• Critics are praising U2's new album even as they critique Bono. Writes Washington Post's J. Freedom du Lac: "It's becoming increasingly difficult to hear U2's music without filtering it through your feelings about the other Bono, that strident, sanctimonious swirl of idealism, agenda and ego." [Reuters]
• If you're interested in the 1996 audition that changed Edward Norton's life, click the link at the end of this sentence. [ET]
• This is interesting: A film version of the musical Damn Yankees will star Jim Carrey and Jake Gyllenhaal. Who will play Lola? You know that whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. [Variety]
• Not sure why this behind the scenes video of Mischa Barton at a photoshoot is so dull, maybe because she has the same blank expression in every scene. [BlackBook]
• No idea what Woody Allen's new flick is about, but the cast is intriguing: Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin and Anthony Hopkins. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Pink. Dolly Parton. Rocking chairs. For sale! [USA Today]
• The conflict between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards has died down. So says Charlie's younger brother Ramon Estevez, whom I did not know existed. [E!]
• George Lucas will produce his first film, post-Star Wars. It's based on the famed Tuskegee Airmen. [Fox 411]
• The Coen brothers have a new film, and it's a short, fake commercial slamming the coal industry. [Guardian]
• MC Hammer's new TV show, Hammertime, will give viewers a glimpse of his life as "as a businessman, computer geek, proud father and husband." No word on whether he is too legit to quit. [AP]
• Jermaine Jackson is working on getting custody of his sons after one told a teacher that his mother had been slapping him repeatedly across the face. [RadarOnline]
• This didn't get a lot of press, but people in wheelchairs protested the Academy giving Jerry Lewis a humanitarian award at the Oscars because they object to the way he talks about "the cripples." Producers actually tried to make sure the foreign press wouldn't write about the incident. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart will get a lifetime achievement award from songwriter's group ASCAP. [Reuters]
• Paul Newman was given a posthumous honour by the US Congress on Tuedsay. [Reuters]
• Be honest: How do we feel about the fact that Eddie Murphy will play Richard Pryor in a biopic? [Guardian]
• Blind item! "Which angry comic had a few cast and crew members fired from his hit show - all because they overshadowed him?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I think that what I'm getting to explore is really the heart of a woman. And I can't say that about everything that I've done. Or maybe I've explored the heart of a woman, but it's been like skating on ice. You know, often you don't get to swim in it. It's an in-depth exploration, and kind of a close-up look at a woman, at all the different ways that she… I think in a way it's about love. You know? It's about love… all the different ways that she loves and whether those loves are acceptable or not." — Holly Hunter, on Saving Grace. [The Daily Beast]
• "I know that Ben Stiller for example, he watches American Idol and he'll email me: 'Hey, who got kicked off?' you know, the night it's on. I'm like, dude — I can't tell you, sorry, you're gonna have to watch. Coming up tonight on prime time!" — Ryan Seacrest, on Idol's celeb fans. [Mirror]
• "It's particularly distressing to me to observe that we're fine with these young women, who it normally is, who are chased, stalked, put under siege by battalions of strange men who sleep in their car and follow them and take pictures up their skirts, and when they throw the dummy out or whatever, everyone thinks they've gone mad. I would defy anyone not to be affected by what is, I think, harassment really. I just think it's slightly below a moral code that I have as a man or as a human being. To chase people, it just seems very bestial." — Rupert Friend, aka Keira Knightley's hottie boyfriend, who is in two films of his own this spring. [Independent]
• "I did not kiss her. She kissed me. We had fun." — Teri Hatcher, on her on-screen smooch with Eva Longoria Parker for Desperate Housewives. [Mirror]
• "At times I was incapable of getting enough oxygen to get my lines out on stage, and sometimes I'd forget where I was in the play. This misconception that I was out partying was wrong. My problem was that as soon as I woke up, I wanted to figure out a way to get back into bed." — Jeremy Piven. [NY Times]
• "Ty said he thinks his best chance of beating me is if I get pregnant during the show so I would be too tired to dance. Talk about a strategy! Of course, that would be fine with me if it did happen, so either way would be a win!" — Jewel, on competing against her husband, Ty Murray on Dancng With The Stars. [People]
• "We pay millions and millions of dollars in tax. The thing that stung us [about the criticism] was the accusation of hypocrisy for my work as an activist. I can understand how people outside the country wouldn't understand how Ireland got to its prosperity but everybody in Ireland knows that there are some very clever people in the Government and in the Revenue who created a financial architecture that prospered the entire nation – it was a way of attracting people to this country who wouldn't normally do business here. And the financial services brought billions of dollars every year directly to the exchequer. What's actually hypocritical is the idea that then you couldn't use a financial services centre in Holland. The real question people need to ask about Ireland's tax policy is: ‘Was the nation a net gain benefactor?' And of course it was – hugely so." — Bono, on the criticism of U2 moving part of its business to the Netherlands to lessen its tax burden. [Irish Times]
• "If you get knocked down, setbacks in life, like applying for a job if they don't hire you, keep trying, keep getting up, keep doing it. Don't give up, that's what it's about. I'm so tough and so bad, I can be humble and lift another guy up." — Mr. T, giving advice to the unemployed. [Mirror]
• "'Brown Eyed Girl' I didn't perform for a long time because for me it was like a throwaway song. I've got about 300 other songs I think are better than that." — from 10 questions with Van Morrison. [Time]
• "Hmm, [how to add] a sexy sizzle to your look? Well high heels are probably the easiest thing, I would say. Instant glamour. Walking around in them naked, you don't need anything else really." — Dita Von Teese. [Daily Express]
• "I hope it won't change anything in how other directors and actors work with me. I mean, the Oscar's going in the loo, next to Sam's. I'm not taking it on a set. I'm just going to work the way I've always worked, which is just to get on with it." — Kate Winslet on her Academy Award. [Daily Mail]

Though the ad does feature two girls and a multi-ethnic cast, we question how progressive it really was, since the African-American girl's face is only shown for a split second. Why does the Peter Brady look-alike get all the screen time? Thanks to the reader who sent this tip. [Seriously? OMG!]

[Los Angeles, October 28. Image via x17]

[Los Angeles, September 23. Image via x17]

• A Britney Spears/Justin Timberlake duet! In the works! [Page Six]
• Jennifer Garner has confirmed that she is expecting her second child. But you knew that. "It always makes me laugh when people say 'Is she?' 'Isn't she?' It's like eventually you will know, so just chill out for a minute," she says. [People]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt plan on hosting a soirée — as suggested by the mayor (?!?!) in their town in Southern France. They want to get to know the locals and be good neighbors and all that. [Daily Express]
• Matt Damon and his wife welcomed their second daughter into the world on Wednesday. Her name is Gia Zavala Damon. [Reuters]
• Details on Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour: 100 pairs of out of stock fishnet, pantyhose in old style weave, purchased for Madonna via ebay and local dance shops; 12 traveling trampolines, 3 Romanian gypsy musicians, 1 chiropractor, 1 personal trainer, 1 masseuse. Four sections of the "journey": Pimp, old school, gypsy and rave. [Perez Hilton]
• Hot new L.A. property: Paparazzi-proof condo. [U.S. News & World Report]
• Nasty blind item! "Which two perky Olympian teammates are really bitter rivals? One spiked the other's protein shake with laxatives before a big competition, but her plan backfired when her nemesis not only powered through the competition but beat her so-called friend anyway." [Rush & Molloy]

• Three adult patients died unexpectedly and a teenage patient was raped at Aurora Las Encinas Hospital, the Pasadena psychiatric facility known for its association with celebrity physician Dr. Drew Pinsky. [L.A. Times]
• Is Jodie Foster making nice with her ex-partner, Cydney Bernard, so she doesn't have to pay her $25 million in alimony? [Perez Hilton]
• Lindsay Lohan's bralessness makes headlines. [The Sun]
• Sam and Lindsay "fled the scene" of Sam's birthday party Tuesday night, because there were too many photographers. [Page Six]
• Courtenay Semel, Lindsay's alleged "first girlfriend" wound up in jail in Vegas Tuesday night after a drunken altercation with security. She's dating Tila Tequila now, btw. [Page Six]
• Catherine Zeta-Jones attended the funeral of her grandmother, Zeta, today in Swansea, UK. [The Sun]
• 90210 promo: Shannen Doherty asks, "Miss me?" [ET]
• Tori Spelling on 90201: "As of now there are no plans for me to be on the show. I hope it turns out to be a really great show, just for my dad’s legacy." [People]
• Blake Lively responds to that video clip of America Ferrera rolling her eyes! Blake says: "I haven't even heard about it. I don't ever pay attention to that stuff. She's one of my best friends in the whole world and honestly, when you're sitting in a room for three hours doing satellite interviews — we were staring at a Post-It with a smiley face — so I think I probably rolled my eyes a hundred times." [EW]
• Uh-oh, music mogul Damon Dash owes $7.3 million in mortgage payments on two Manhattan apartments. Foreclosure proceedings have begun! Where is (former Roc-A-Fella Records partner) Jay-Z when you need him? [Rolling Stone]
• Someone's suing Salma and Sami Hayek. Investment deal gone bad. [TMZ]
• Peaches and Bob Geldof have smoothed things over by going for tapas in Majorca. Crimminy. I wish I were in Majorca right now. [The Sun]
• Rhys Ifans started a drunken brawl at gf Kimberley Stewart's birthday party. Apparently some dude tried to chat up Kim, and Rhys screamed: "Fuck off, don't touch my bird! Let's take this outside, you think you're a big man." Haha, wow. [Mirror]
• James McAvoy has landed the lead role in Gnomeo And Juliet, in which he is a garden gnome who falls in love with an ornament. [Mirror]
• Cher helped Bill Clinton celebrate his birthday Monday in Vegas. Do you believe in life after love? [Page Six]
• Is Oprah sick of being on the cover of O magazine? [Page Six]
• An animated Amy Winehouse stars in a new online game called "Escape From Rehab." The goal: To get out of a clinic and rescue Blake Incarcerated from jail. Your weapons: A beehive, a crack pipe and a syringe. Sigh. [The Sun]
• Jason Wahler's upcoming civil trial could dig up some dirt, like his battles with alcohol and substance abuse, his previous arrests and the time he called the plaintiff, a tow-truck driver, the N-word. [E!]
• Angie Harmon and Jason Sehorn: Expecting baby number 3. [AP]
• Jerry Seinfeld will be the new celebrity pitchman for Microsoft and appear in ads with Bill Gates. Will the campaign be better than the Apple commercials with Justin "I'm a Mac" Long? Uh, if by better you mean nerdier, then, yes. [WSJ]
• James Brown's children, the woman who says she's his last wife, and the state of South Carolina are nearing a settlement over the late soul singer's estate. There should be an inheritance for 6-year-old James Brown II, who had to take a DNA test in April. Hopefully, he feels good. [USA Today]
• Gary Glitter returned to Thailand after being refused entry to Hong Kong. He's in some kind of international limbo. [Guardian]
• Coming to theaters August 29: Mamma Mia!: The Sing-Along Edition, with lyric subtitles. Plug your ears or join in! [MSNBC]
• "Mr. President, are you aware/Our flesh and blood is dying over there?/When the coffins come back, do you care?/When only the poor kids die, is it fair?/Don't get me wrong. I respect the flag/But it hurts to see a kid in a body bag/He fought for his country with all he had/Now we have a family without a dad." — LL Cool J's new track, "Mr. President." [Rush & Molloy]
• "I wish I had been nude from the time I was 12 until I was 28. I looked great! I want to tell all young girls to walk around in bikinis all summer — and enjoy it. I want to tell them to never, ever feel bad about anything, because there will be that one day in your 20s when you’ll eat a hamburger and actually see the hamburger on the side of your leg." —Jennifer Love Hewitt. [MSNBC]
• "I love horses. I've learned from them. Once you master a horse — but it also masters you — you gain more confidence in yourself. [Riding horses] has a rhythm that's rather Zen-like. When you can mount it and move it and move along with it, that is a hard-won and very real accomplishment." —Christian Bale. [Yahoo News]
• "I won’t say I’m never going to do drugs again. I just know I’m not a good person on drugs." — Lily Allen. [The Sun]
• "The majority of times I go to the cinema, I want a bit of everything. I want to be challenged intellectually, and then again I don't want to be too challenged intellectually. I believe my wife to be very creative so of course I'm interested in how she thinks, and there seems to be no end to the desire to be creative; I find that invigorating and interesting. You know, you have conversations, some deep, some shallow. That's the same in everybody's relationship." —Guy Ritchie. [Telegraph]
• "I don't think running for office is anything I'm prepared for or could even prepare myself for. I work really long hours and work a lot and have done press tours and junkets, but there is nothing like a presidential campaign that I have experienced before... I think at one point we visited three different cities in one state in 12 hours. It's exhausting." — America Ferrera on campaigning for Hillary Clinton with Chelsea Clinton. [E!]

• Charlie Sheen's friends are calling Denise Richards a liar: She says she's doing a reality show to make money and support her children; they say she "gets more than enough money from Charlie to never have to work, much less do a reality show that exploits the kids." Denise gets $52,000 a month tax-free in child support and previously received $60,000 a month (tax-free) for two years in alimony. Anybody think they could give it a try and raise two kids on that awfully paltry sum? [Page Six]
• Also something about Denise wanting to use Charlie as a sperm donor but frankly, these two don't interest me at all. [Rush & Molloy]
• Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz wedding photo! WTF is that dog wearing? [People]
• Jodie Foster dumped her lesbian lover after falling for another woman on a film set! Apparently Jodie cheated on movie producer girlfriend Cydney Bernard with screenwriter Cindy Mort. Scandal! [The Sun]
• Jessica Alba's secret wedding Monday "surprised even good friends." [People]
• Four witnesses have identified the young woman on video in the R. Kelly trial. The defense says maybe R Kelly's head was digitally added to someone else's body. [Yahoo News]

• 60 Minutes correspondent Lesley Stahl gave a commencement speech at Jesuit-run Loyola College and used the word pusillanimous, then told the crowd, it "doesn't have anything to do with pussy." Hahaha, oh shit. [Page Six]
• The National Enquirer says Vince Vaughn is concerned about Jennifer Aniston falling for John Mayer and is warning her about the bad-boy musician. Uh, whatever. [MSNBC]
• Heather Mills was told to tear down a marquee she built at her home without permission. It's for parties. [Mirror]
• Tori Spelling was indulging in Baskin Robbins's "bump day" (soft-serve ice cream for pregnant women) even though soft-serve is supposed to be a health risk for knocked up chicks. [TMZ]
• If you want to see the "other woman" who split up Shania Twain and Mutt Lange, click here. [People]
• JR Rotem, the producer who once said that he "fucked Britney wheelbarrow style" is confirming that they are working in the studio together. Her new album is in the "experimental stages." Looking forward to it. [People]
• Mick Jagger was spotted feeling on some chick's booty while his girlfriend was just a few feet away, oblivious. When you start him up he'll never stop. [Rush & Molloy]
• Zach Braff has hideous luggage. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which two beyond-famous actor pals have late-night cocaine parties, much to their wives' dismay? They start at 3 a.m. and rage until sunrise - and we hear a rehabbed starlet has joined them for several sessions." [Rush & Molloy]
• The five-year-old daughter of Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman was killed last night when a car driven by one of her older brothers hit her in the family's driveway. Tragic. And also: Unless you're actually in the Serengeti, SUVs are evil. [TMZ]
• Is Friday Night Lights actress Minka Kelly dating New York Yankee Derek Jeter? Do you care? [Page Six]
• Nick Cannon left his boys' weekend to be by Mariah's side at an Elle photo shoot. [Page Six]
• Gina Gershon and Weeds star Jeffrey Dean Morgan: Getting cozy? [Page Six]
• Is Michelle Tractenberg is as bitchy in real life as she is on Gossip Girl? [Page Six]
• Is Ivana Trump soooo in love with her new hubby Rossano Rubicondi that she doesn't feel like going to Cannes? She was expected at a bunch of parties but is holed up in Palm Beach. [Page Six]
• Some nightclub owner wanted to buy Lindsay Lohan a fur coat since she gave back the one she stole, but she turned him down. Publicity is a weird game. [Page Six]
• Harrison Ford lost his digital camera in Cannes; let him know if you've seen it. [E!]
• The Pet Shop Boys say they ARE NOT working with Amy Winehouse on the Bond theme and The Sun "totally made up" the story. Sigh. [ONTD]
• Cameron Diaz is bald for a new movie. [ET]
• Jennifer Garner and husband Ben Affleck have signed up to help raise money for an athletic complex at her hometown university in West Virginia. Eh, do-gooders. Yawn. [AP]
• Scarlett Johansson wanted her new album to sound "like we've drunk cough medicine and seen Tinkerbell." She also says: "We spent days trying to record owls. [My producer] told me to have a mini-recorder with me all the time. We recorded all kinds of stuff - everywhere you go, Louisiana is alive with sounds." [Mirror]
• This review calls Scarlett "limited as a vocalist" and says the album is "wonderful in concept, uneven in execution, and ultimately satisfying," though "listeners who expect a high-gloss star turn by Ms. Johansson will be disappointed." [WSJ]
• Mischa Barton and Taylor Locke from Rooney: It's on. [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse is up for three Novellos, the "Oscars" of British songwriting and composing. Come on, you know she's no good. [The Star]
• David Byrne was dyking brunk biking drunk when his tire "slipped on the cobblestones of West 14th St." He says "I remember lying in the street, looking at oncoming headlights and rolling towards the curb so they wouldn’t run me over." Byrne has two broken ribs. [Gothamist]
• David Bowie and Paul Weller have finally ended their long-running feud. But um "The Starman still couldn’t resist a cheeky dig at the Modfather’s infamous barnet." Hahahaha, wait, what? [The Sun]
• Some dude named David Cook "won" this thing called American Idol. [People]
• If you didn't see Robert Downey Jr, Ben Stiller and Jack Black as the Pips on Idol, here is your chance. [ONTD]
• "I always treat life and death with respect, but most people don't. Look, I love the Coen brothers; we all studied at NYU. But they treat life like a joke. Ha ha ha. A joke. It's like, 'Look how they killed that guy! Look how blood squirts out the side of his head!' I see things different than that." — Spike Lee. [Comcast Entertainment]

[Rome, April 9. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The Good: Yay for Abigail Breslin: She looks age appropriate and looks like she dressed herself. In other words, nothing really matches, but I'm totally down with it. Cameron Diaz might be sporting a silly Samantha Jones haircut, but her dress is, like, cute. Aw, Jordin Sparks turned Chloe orange into Nickelodeon orange!

The Bad: Oh Amy Poehler, the contrived irony is killing me. Ashlee Simpson wins herself a "bad" award for appearing totally unrecognizable. (And wearing Chanel accessories.) I'm convinced that Hayden Panettiere owns 12 of the exact same dress in different colors. Sadly, none of them are tailored quite right. Go ahead and hate on me: I just prefer Jodie Foster looking a little more polished. And not in a bootcut jean.

The Ugly: Miley Cyrus? Or one of the Real Housewives? Rihanna had her fucking legs insured: Why must she hide them in such unflattering pants?!

[Images via AP.]

[Hawaii, March 23. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The Good:
I think that both Abigail Breslin and her top are adorable.
Jodie Foster: Still beautiful.
Looking too skinny again, but I do love Kate Bosworth's sorta mumsy dress.
Pretty good for SJP. (At least she's not wearing the Uggs and puffy coat.)

The Bad:
Valley of the Dolls much, Anita Briem?
OMG! It's Encino Man Brandon Fraser! I loved that movie buuuuudy! Too bad he looks like he hasn't changed his wardrobe since it premiered.
Christina Ricci did not get the memo about why one does not wear a short shiny white dress.
Did Emile Hirsch get dressed in his dad's clothes?
Why is Maggie Gyllenhaal wearing her support garments over her dress?
Seth Rogen? Or your high school chemistry teacher?

The Ugly:
Is Anne Hathaway starring in a film version of Little House on the Prairie? Or a public service announcement for "When Bad Shoes Happen To Good People"?
Um, how old are you, Robert Downey, Jr?

[Images via Bauer-Griffin]

[Beverly Hills, March 4. Image via x17]

• Did Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, overdose on heroin in jail? He was reportedly found passed out in his cell and rushed to the prison hospital. [TMZ]
  
• Amy went out in London and "left a pair of boob enhancers, like chicken cutlet things to push up your boobs, and some hair extensions in the toilet." Whoops! And hey, what was she doing in there, anyway, that she needed to ditch her cutlets and hair? [Page Six]
  
• This report claims that Blake traded signed pictures of Amy for drugs. [The Sun]
  
• Post-overdose Blake has been banned from all contact with the outside world. That means no visitors. Amy is going to freak the fuck out. [Perez Hilton]
  
• Diva alert! There's an empty private room with a luxurious brown leather couch in North Shore University Hospital on Long Island, patiently awaiting for Jennifer Lopez to give birth. "No one's even allowed in there until she gets here. It's just sitting there for her," says a source. [Page Six]
  
• After she gives birth, People magazine will probably pay J. Lo and Marc Anthony between $4 million and $6 million for photos of the twins. [Ad Age]

• David and Victoria Beckham renewed their vows — and got matching tattoos of the event's date — nearly two years ago, but kept it a secret until now. [UPI]
• Rihanna caught her father smoking crack when she was nine years old. He's since kicked drugs and joins the singer when she's on tour. [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which recently divorced fashion editor is rumored to be spending more time in Los Angeles these days? Word is she's taken up with the recently jailed Kiefer Sutherland." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which movie star recently suffered a miscarriage? The heartbroken actress is now talking about adopting." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which celebrity sibling who can't stay out of trouble has a girlfriend-of-record, but also a much-talked about romantic incident involving a same-sex pal in the Hamptons last summer?" [Gatecrasher]
• Naomi Watts teared up at a tribute to Heath Ledger is Sydney, Australia. [News.com.au]
• As reported, 47-year-old Tilda Swinton has a 29-year old boyfriend named Sandro and a 67-year-old partner and baby-daddy named John. But did she steal Sandro from his 26-year-old girlfriend? [Daily Mail]
• Heather Mills' manicurist spills: "I'd sum her up by saying she can be charming but, on the other hand, nuts." [Daily Mail]
• Heather will destroy all the evidence she has accumulated about Paul McCartney's wealth; and all video and audio evidence on their four-year marriage. [Daily Mail]
• Jared Leto attacked a fan with his microphone while crowdsurfing at a show in the UK. [Perez Hilton]
• Kirstie Alley and Jenny Craig: Dunzo. [UPI]
• Britney Spears went out on the town with her father over the weekend. Better than Sam Lutfi! [TMZ]
• The lawyer who claims to represent Britney in an effort to try to move her conservatorship case from L.A. court to federal court may not have a snowball's chance in hell. [USA Today]
• Still, he says, "I see the case as a civil rights case. These are issues of confinement. Very serious confinement. Not allowed to contact her friends. Not allowed to use the phone. Not allowed to come and go as you please. Bodyguards controlling you and so forth." [People]
• Heidi Klum says she'll take Britney in. "She can call me and come live in our house with us for a couple of months. I would help set her straight." [People]
• Madonna's new songs: Uptempo, urban, dancey, clubby; produced by Nate "Danja" Hills (who did Britney's Blackout), Timbaland and Pharrell. [Rolling Stone]
• There's a feud between Evi Quaid, wife of actor Randy, and the Actors Equity Union. Randy is banned from the union; Evi allegedly became apoplectic and kicked a 76-year-old receptionist in the shin. Drama! [Page Six]
• "Two girls I kissed turned out to be gay. I kissed Jodie Foster. She played my girl on 'The Partridge Family,' and look what happened" — Danny Bonaduce [Page Six]
• George (Tailor Made) Weisgerber from I Love New York was slapped with a disorderly conduct summons for flipping the finger to a cop in NYC. Hey, whatever it takes to stay relevant. [Gatecrasher]
• Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayek, Sharon Stone and Gwen Stefani: Into Mexican Train Dominoes. Yeah, who knows. [Gatecrasher]
• Us Weekly says the writer who identified herself as a reporter for the magazine and pissed off Scarlett Johansson outside of the Today show was not assigned by them and not representing the mag. Whoops! [Gatecrasher]
• Bill O'Reilly forces some underling to wipe the sweat off the exercise equipment when he's done. The "poor kid" just follows him around the gym. No spin zone, indeed. [Rush & Molloy]