Jezebel 
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New York, 6:16 AM
Sat Nov 28
29 posts in the last 24 hours
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10/27/09
Seriously, one could ask their husband to do more domestic labor so that they can do better at corporate life. What if he says no, or does a deliberately crappy job and blames it on his possession of testicles? What if he does it for a month and then is like, "now it's your turn" (to do 90% of the work instead of the 75% you did for a month)? If you get rid of him, you get lectured by well-meaning people about how THEY came up with a super-easy system of asking and now their husband does "almost half" of the work, they have great sex three times a week now, and little Madison is going to private school and they're getting a housekeeper with the money they earned from Special Snowflake's Simple Method of Just Asking, and anyone who can't master Special Snowflake's Simple Method isn't *really* a feminist, but a "victim" who revels in it and probably hates her husband for being fun and more successful.
Yeah, I don't know why women wouldn't be assertive and ask for things when the above path is not just possible, but likely. Oh, wait... #joannelipman
10/27/09
Painfully, painfully true. I think I love you. #joannelipman
10/27/09
Pogrebin's response is what I don't like. "Paradoxically, she confesses that she both 'took equality for granted' and 'looked derisively at the women’s liberation movement,' whose rebels and activists she dismisses with the hoary stereotype, 'strident, humorless, shrill women.'" - Um, there's not actually anything paradoxical about this. This is how many young women think of feminism. The lives of younger feminists are very different from those of older feminists; could we at least make some effort to understand where the other group is coming from? #joannelipman
10/27/09
What I think is important to note here is that (a) how younger women "think of feminism" may be of historical interest, but philosophically it's not really that interesting a question - if what younger women think is an inaccurate description of what older feminists themselves, then no, I don't really know that the older feminists owe younger ones a duty of understanding when they are themselves being unfairly characterized; (b) it is, in general, my experienced that even those young feminists who cling to wave terminology and generational divide tend to be among the least informed about the history of feminism. We think our arguments are new, but the movement has been having them for forty years or more, which almost anyone could figure out by, y'know, actually reading some feminism.
I'm a young-ish woman, but it chaps my ass that younger women tend to be so obviously eager, like immature teenagers, to be iconoclastic about a feminist history they obviously barely understand. #joannelipman
10/27/09
Or maybe I'm reaching because this woman sounds like me at 15. #joannelipman
10/27/09
I maintain that there's no paradox, and the misuse just kills me. #joannelipman
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10/27/09
"Congratulations! You're the 1,500,000th person to say that!" #joannelipman
10/27/09
10/27/09
I think the post yesterday was much more in tune with the problematic nature of the piece. And it's a little less knee-jerk rebuttal and more of a measured analysis. I would nominate Anna to write a letter to the editor but writing letters every time the NYT published something obnoxious or ridiculous would probably be a full time job in and of itself. #joannelipman
10/27/09
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10/27/09
"Don’t pay me half of what I deserve, and don’t call me "doll" either.
The two go hand in hand and always did."
(applauds!)
10/27/09
10/26/09
10/26/09
As a teenager, I spent so much time and energy trying to prove that I was as cool as the boys, that I could drink like them, laugh like them, talk like them, so that I wouldn't be seen as a sexual object, or weak, which at the time seemed synonymous with feminine. Now I know I deserve respect for my feminine qualities as well as my masculine ones. I like to say that if it's difficult to be vulnerable or communicate, it is braver and more admirable than sucking it up... and so on.
10/26/09
Thank you! #joannelipman
10/26/09
Guess I'll never rise to the top. #joannelipman
10/26/09
This problem has haunted me a lot this past weekend. I played in a War Hammer tournament (yes, I am a nerd), in which I was the only woman. The other players ignored me, took my rule book without asking then refused to return it, complained about my presence/playing and refused to shake my hand at the end of the match.
I think men are the ones that need to change. They berate women for being too different or for not competing in the same spheres as men, but then when we do, they turn a blind eye or exclude us.
This article and my experience have taught me something at least: the problem isn't that women don't seek promotions or live outside gender norms, it's that men (aka the ones with the power) ignore us when we do. #joannelipman
10/26/09
I love Anna for her classy assumption that Lipman is trying to "genuinely trying to address the problems women face," but having read the piece I'm left wondering how genuine her attempt really was. There is a little too much blame-shifting for Portfolio's failure, and a bit too much emphasis on her own "legginess" (at least one mention of which seems now to have been invented). Like this idiot [jezebel.com] she seems a little too eager to make it clear to the reader that she has the man-stamp of approval, while kvetching about double standards and a lack of progress. If this is what she means by not being afraid to be a girl... no thanks. #joannelipman
10/26/09
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10/26/09
Advising women on what they can do to improve their situation is NOT THE SAME as blaming them for their situation. I can say to you, "Don't accept a drink from a stranger, it's not safe" without blaming or criticizing the rape victims who've been drugged that way. It's not just about telling society to improve, to look out for us. We can be active participants. We HAVE to be. #joannelipman
10/26/09
The best advice I've read since I became "politically conscious" was an article called something like "notes to an activist," and #1 on the list was "have a sense of humor." It doesn't mean "laugh at sexist jokes," or "excuse bad behavior," but the gist is that being an activist is hard, long-term, and the victories are few and far between. It means "learn to laugh off things when getting wound up about them won't do any good." There's a lot of terrible sexist (racist, classist, ablist, etc) shit going on in the world, and if you're going to avoid burnout, cynicism, or sheer panic, you have to accept your limitations, pick your battles, and find a way to not let yourself be dragged down by things you can't change. The easiest way to do that it to have a sense of humor.
I didn't get the Martha Stewart thing, either. But that lesson has made all the difference for me, not just as a feminist, but as a semi-neurotic human being. #joannelipman
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