• Gerard Butler had to shoot a wedding photograph with Jennifer Aniston as a prop for their characters in The Bounty. Gerard says:

"It was quite romantic. We were joking about it: 'We might as well make this real. Keep everybody happy.'" As Gerard slipped the ring on Jen's finger, his phone rang. It was his mother. "I have to call you back. I'm getting married," Butler deadpanned — on speakerphone, so the crew could hear. "She goes, 'What?' " Butler clarified: " 'I'm marrying Jennifer Aniston!' and she's like: 'Oh, good. Well, I'm glad you made the right choice.'" [USA Today]

• Lindsay Lohan feels "scared" and "violated" after the break in at her Hollywood Hills home. She Tweeted: "I know it was not a ROBBERY. electronics weren't taken... just things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me. It really makes me sad, and well, obviously-scared. :( and I'm sorry i haven't been on in a bit... my life has been kind of in shambles considering my house was broken into and i feel really violated." [The Sun]
• Uh-oh: The "real reason" Lindsay is upset about someone stealing the safe from her house? She had some "very incriminating" videos, photos and legal documents inside. Will they go public? [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Oh Lord. Britney Spears is "still madly in love" with Adnan Ghalib, the paparazzo she dated for a few months early last year. Notes this column: "The pap-turned-celebrity-by-association was later charged with assault, hit-and-run and battery stemming from an incident in which he allegedly attempted to run over a court official who was trying to serve a restraining order on him." A catch! [Fox News]
• Britney has been catching shows while in New York: Wicked and The Little Mermaid, for instance. But her lawyer Larry Rudolph is with her, not alleged boyfriend/manager Jason Trawick. What does it mean? [Page Six]
• MSNBC Scoop columnist Courtney Hazlett went to the Britney Spears concert in NYC and reports: "When Spears wasn't changing from one fabric swatch to another, her time onstage could be summed up in one word: walking. There was walking from one side of the stage to the other. There was walking from one backup dancer so she could be flung toward another. Sometimes you could find Spears walking to a cage, entering and having another person push it, so the cage could do the walking for her." [MSNBC Scoop]
• The 53-year-old man charged with stalking Miley Cyrus told an investigator he planned on visiting her movie set and "finishing things." [AP]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin are accusing each other of financial deception. Prediction: It will get uglier than an Ed Hardy T-shirt. [Radar Online]
• The real reason Kate called the cops on Jon recently? She heard Jon was going out drinking and leaving the kids with babysitter Stephanie Santoro. [Radar Online]
• Jon was spotted wearing a shirt with the words "Lies lies lies lies." [Gatecrasher]
• On August 13, Jon and Kate's plus 8 — the children — staged a rebellion, refusing to be videotaped for the show. "The kids staged a sit-in — a revolt," Jon tells Life & Style. "They didn't want to work." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Now it comes out: Documents released by the court show that Chris Brown and Rihanna had a history of violence. She had slapped him during an argument three months before the February incident in which he assaulted her; his response was to shove her into a wall. A second fight, in January, involved an argument inside of an SUV in Barbados. Chris Brown "exited and broke the front driver and passenger side windows of the car. No one was injured during the incident." [People, TMZ]
• Before Chris Brown was sentenced, his record label CEO, a lawyer who has worked with Oprah and Brown's pastor all wrote letters to the judge. [TMZ]
• Chris Brown has been "depressed" since the assault on Rihanna. [TMZ]
• Court documents also show that in June, Chris Brown said that he was "ashamed and embarrassed" about the Rihanna beating. He wanted to plead guilty, but his lawyer, Mark Geragos, would not let him. Brown also told probation officers that he wanted to attend domestic violence counseling and "do it right." [TMZ]
• An official transcript of the incident between Chris and Rihanna is at the link; it is detailed and disturbing. Just a snippet: "As he drove, he continued to punch the victim in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand…
  [Brown] looked at [Rihanna] and said 'I'm going to beat the shit out of you when we get home! You wait and see!'" [TMZ]
• Kari Ann Peniche, whom you may have seen topless in Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane's nude video, says that she is a sex addict but not a madam. She says her hard drive has pictures of reputed madams because she once wrote a college paper about prostitution. She also says: "My biggest concern is my family. My brother is saying he wants to change his last name now. He goes, 'You're not my sister anymore.'" [E!]
• Six words: Neal Patrick Harris on American Idol. [Gatecrasher]
• Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer got together during the pilot of True Blood, but kept it very quiet. Costar Carrie Preston says: "They were very cool and professional about it." [People]
• John Mayer and Taylor Swift will be making music together, and that is not a euphemism. [Gatecrasher]
• Beyoncé has been named Billboard's Woman of The Year. [AP]
• Paula Abdul has gotten the boot from Ugly Betty "over her outrageous demands" — including a private jet. This report claims she will host a VH1 show called Divas instead and Kristen Johnston will take Paula's part on Ugly Betty. [The Sun]
• Danielle Staub from Real Housewives Of New Jersey needs a cover shot for her upcoming memoir, and is trying to get photographers to take a picture of her for free. A source says, "It's embarrasing and tacky!" [Gatecraasher]
• A "skripper" pal of Amber Rose claims that she got illegal injections from a "hood doctor" to make her butt bigger. [Media Takeout]
• Chelsea Handler and her boyfriend have broken up. But as you may know, her boyfriend is Ted Harbert, CEO of Comcast, aka her boss. He's moved out of the house and into a hotel. [Gatecrasher]
• Joe Francis is facing a criminal trial, and his defense team will try to legitimize Joe by linking the Girls Gone Wild mastermind to stars like Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn and Jack Nicholson. Too bad Jen's name is misspelled in the presentation slide. [The Smoking Gun]
• Curious about Martina Navratilova's love life? Want to see the word "galimony" used in a sentence? Click the link! [Page Six]
• A&E is planning a reality series about the Jackson brothers. The network had already ordered a show before Michael Jackson died, but now the series will be expanded and focus on the band as they reunite as brothers — "underneath a cloud of tragedy." [NY Times]
• Comedy Central has been doing research on its fans and finds that viewers say that "people think I'm cool because I watch" Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. [NY Times]
• Drag performer Erickatoure Aviance went to a taping of the Wendy Williams show, but was told that she could not appear on camera or ask any questions because she was "in violation of the no-costumes dress code." Aviance said: "This is not a costume." And someone connected with the show said: "Well, it's a costume to us. We don't want the show to turn into Let's Make a Deal, where everyone comes in crazy costumes." Aviance was stunned: "So you're comparing me to a man in a gorilla suit?" Aviance notes: "I was wearing a ponytail piece and a bang piece. It was much less hair than Wendy was wearing and, p.s., much less hair than any of the other black women in the audience." Now Lonnie Burstein, the VP of the company behind the show, has issued an apology to Aviance and to GLAAD. [Advocate, Advocate]
• Susan Sarandon: Joining the cast of Oliver Stone's Wall Street 2: Electric Boogaloo. [Variety]
• Redmond O'Neal, son of Farrah Fawcett, has signed a reality show deal — brokered by his dad, Ryan O'Neal — that will chronicle hus strugle with addiction. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Eddie Cibrian and Wife 'Both Happy'...Now That They're Getting Divorced." [E!]
• The Who's Pete Townshend has written a new musical, Floss, about the aging process. It's like, "Tommy can you hear me? Turn up your hearing aid!" [AP]
• Whatshername's new boyfriend tells her he loves her 50 million times a day, which seems excessive. [Daily Mail]
• "It was exhilaratingly humiliating. But I completely became giddy in a strange way the moment I put on the dress. Vanity quickly set in, and I thought to myself, 'I wish my belly was flatter.' Let's face it, I don't look great in a dress, but it's nice to hear I have nice legs." — Liev Schreiber on playing a transvestite in Taking Woodstock. Click for pic! [People]
• "The Runaways is absolutely not a biopic. It's not fact-for-fact. What they did was basically take elements from the Runaways story and created a parallel narrative. We're hoping it will be great. They exceeded our expectations with the casting. ... Even if it's not a huge movie, it's going to have a colossal effect on young girls playing rock 'n' roll, for sure. Kristen [Stewart] was so into it, into the whole vibe of doing this. I think she felt a weight and a responsibility to interpret it correctly. She was really serious about it and was watching me and asking me all sorts of question, from speech aspects to watching my body language, watching where I stood, watching my guitar playing. She really worked hard to get it right." — Joan Jett. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• "Everything in our movie, it's such a heightened version of reality. People don't just break up [in the films] – they break up and it literally kills you. It's not like you just say, 'Oh, I'm really depressed and crying.' I always had a really hard time figuring out, 'Am I doing enough? Do I look like I'm going to die?' My favorite line in the book is when I have to say to [Jacob], 'It's him; it's always been him!' Yeah, it killed me. It killed me." — New Moon star Kristen Stewart. [People]
• "I do get men trying to pick me up and it's funny because a year ago, when I was dressing like this, with a very avant-garde fashion sense, I think I intimidated men much more. It was funny the other day when I was wearing my cone head and this radio DJ was saying, 'Oh you're so sexy', when the mic was off. I thought, 'I can't believe that after a whole year, they finally think my cone head is sexy." — Lady Gaga. [Mirror]

• Lindsay Lohan's Hollywood home was burglarized over the weekend. Dina Lohan says:

"The safe was ripped out of the wall, and the door was off the hinges and door handles removed. Bags, shoes and jewelry were taken too. Thank God she wasn't home." Well, if she'd been home, they might not have broken in? Anyway Dina says Lindsay is "Okay, but upset." [People]

• A source says that surveillance video caught the men who broke into Lindsay's house on tape, and cops are investigating. Michael Lohan thinks it's an inside job, since the people that work for Lindsay didn't turn the alarm on. [TMZ]
• Ryan Jenkins, 32, the reality star suspect accused of killing his ex-wife, was found dead in a motel room in a Canadian town called Hope. An unidentified woman checked in for Jenkins and paid cash; cops have seized the slip of information she filled out for the room. [Vancouver Sun]
• An employee at the Thunderbird Motel says Ryan Jenkins was not recognizable: "In no way shape or form did he look like the man on TV. He looked spent." [AP]
• Before she hit the stage with her Miss Universe performance, Heidi Montag said: "I think people don't know what to expect, and how can they? It's my first performance live and it's in front of a billion eyes. So I'm very excited to show everyone what I'm coming with. I'm very excited for everybody to see this." And: "I think a lot of people are expecting something very different." If by "different" you mean "stilted" and "bad" then, yeah. [AP]
• Oprah wants to throw a giant party for the 10th anniversary of her magazine, and she'd like to shut down portions of the West Side Highway in NYC for the bash. [NY Post]
• "After Alec Baldwin told Playboy he might run against Joe Lieberman, the Connecticut senator replied, 'make my day.'" [Politico]
• Michael Jackson's kids spent the weekend in Las Vegas at the Palms Casino Resort, drinking virgin strawberry-banana daiquiris and playing in the pool. Grandma Katherine Jackson watched pool-side, with a friend and a nanny. [People]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin snapped up the house next door to theirs in London and are creating a "£7million superhouse with 33 rooms." [Daily Mail]
• Sophia Bush was trying to hail a cab yesterday when she "accidentally flung" her arm into a woman passing by on a bicycle, knocking the woman to the ground. Sophia apologized and helped the woman up; the woman rode away. [UPI]
• Amy Winehouse performed with The Specials on Saturday night and it seems to have reinvigorated her! She says: "It's great to be back. I absolutely loved it out there. The fans and the atmosphere were great. It wasn't planned at all. I just went out and did it. I want to do my own gigs now." Video of Amy singing with the band at the link. [The Sun]
• Milla Jovovich married director Paul W.S. Anderson in Beverly Hills on Saturday, walking down the aisle of the backyard of the couple's Spanish-style house. The reception included cuban music and cake. [People]
• You can peep Milla's dress here. [E!]
• Prince William's girlfriend Kate Middleton will resign from working at her parents' internet party supply business at the end of the year and concentrate on photography. She'll head to New York for 2 weeks in January to work with Count Nikolai von Bismarck, who has trained with Annie Leibovitz. A source says: "It wouldn't be fitting for a future Queen to run a party website." [Daily Mail]
• Emma Roberts' boyfriend's neck is covered in hickeys. [Page Six]
• Khloé Kardashian is guest blogging for Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth while Ted is on vacation. [E!]
• Terrence J, the dude Khloé Kardashian kissed one drunken night, says: "We are just friends. Neither one of us remembers the kiss. We were trying to remember who kissed whom first and we have both agreed to agree that it was just a long night where we both had some drinks and shared a good time." This lapse in memory could be due to booze or the fact that Terrence is in a relationship and is "very much in love." [People]
• Sources claim that Doug Reinhardt has been "begging" MTV producers for a contract and wants very badly to be on The Hills, but the network is not interested. [Page Six]
• Oasis cancelled their appearance at V Fest over the weekend because Liam Gallagher had laryngitis; Snow Patrol stepped in. [The Sun]
• Joan Jett is suing Jacqueline Fuchs, former bassist in The Runaways, who is trying to have the movie about The Runaways stopped and has demanded to see the script — even though there is no character based on her. [UPI]
• Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos cheered on 8-year-old daughter Lola, who was riding at the 34th Annual Hampton Classic Horse show on Sunday. Kelly says: "She's so dedicated that she misses everything else in the summer so she can go riding!" [Gatecrasher]
• Spotted: Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer, househunting in Santa Monica. [Gatecrasher]
• Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig are in rehearsals for the Broadway play A Steady Rain, and the author, Kevin Huff, can't believe his good fortune: "These guys are in the prime of their careers," he says. "It's my understanding they're turning down movies to do this. I'm very lucky." [NY Daily News]
• The Rachel Zoe Project returns tonight, and this review says it "remains reliably bitchy television." [NY Daily News]
• Diablo Cody is on the cover of Inked magazine, and admits that she once was at a party with Robert Pattinson and didn't recognize him: "He's a beautiful man and I would certainly recognize him now… He wouldn't remember this happening. I honestly just went up and borrowed a light from him and I couldn't understand why there was this vibration in the crowd like, You're talking to him! I thought, You mean that guy with the cigarettes? Aw, this sounds terrible." [Inked]
• Shed a tear on your bearskin rug: The Burt Reynolds Museum may be closing. [UPI]
• A Texas blogger being sued by the mother of Anna Nicole Smith faces contempt of court for not turning in her computer. [UPI]
• Sophie Dahl and Jamie Cullum have chosen their wedding date and location: July 2010, at Hunton Park estate – a mansion set in 22 acres of parkland in Hertfordshire. Looks lush and amazing! [Daily Mail]
• "Rehab, drinking, Courtney Love, Owen Wilson's 'overdose': Steve Coogan confesses all." [Daily Mail]
• Former KISS guitarist Vinnie Vincent is suing the band and A&E television network for using his image without his permission. [TMZ]
• "'I want to marry again because I miss the sex' — Jerry Hall reveals she's on the lookout for love." [Daily Mail]
• Messy divorce news: David Alan Grier is seeking joint custody of his one-year-old daughter and looking to deny his estranged wife Christine Kim any spousal support. Christine was sole custody. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which reality TV women party so hard every night that reporters gripe the ladies don't get out of bed to do phone interviews in the day?" [Page Six]
• "I was born on December 13, I was 13 when I got my first record deal and my Twitter name is taylorswift13. My first single, Tim McGraw, had a 13-second intro, and every time something good happens, 13 is involved. If I ever get a tattoo it will be '13.'" — Taylor Swift. [Daily Mail]
• "When Ally McBeal started, I went 'Oh, my God,' it's like what I was doing. Bridget Jones was in the same vein. I identify with all of them. We all can." — Melanie Mayron, who played a redheaded photographer, an "independent, creative, quirky and funny" single woman in her 30s on thirtysomething. [LA Times]
• "After two dance sessions, I can tell you Cheryl Burke is the most patient person I have ever met." — Dancing With The Stars contestant and former Republican House Majority Leader Tom DeLay. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I wouldn't want to be 20 again for anything. I am much happier now than when I was younger. You have to discover who you are, who you are going to be, there are so many insecurities. Today, I know the things that I need, the things that I can live without." — Monica Bellucci. [Daily Mail]
• Q: So you're not getting married any time soon? A: "No, we're not into that. I think we have some sort of thing in California? What's it called? The civil equality or something. Domestic partnership! They sent us a piece of paper and it's like, oh, now what? She has her health insurance, I have mine. I'd put her on mine, but you know it's too much paperwork. We'll get around to it." — Sandra Bernhard on her girlfriend, with whom she's been with for 10 years. [LA Times]

• Mark Wahlberg married his longtime girlfriend Rhea Durham yesterday in a small ceremony in Beverly Hills. "She looked like a princess and beyond stunning. Mark looked ecstatic," says a source. So much for Nicole 4 Eva! [People]

• In more wedding news, Ali Larter was married this weekend, as well, to actor Hayes MacArthur in Kennebunkport, Maine. [USWeekly]
• And Milla Jovovich is set to walk down the aisle on August 22 to marry her fiance of six years, director Paul W.S. Anderson. [DailyMail]
• Demi Moore, meanwhile, will celebrate her fourth year of marriage to Ashton Kutcher by adopting his surname. "Demi didn't want to change her name at first because it didn't seem right but now she finally feels ready," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have allegedly had a bit of a tiff over their final resting places: "Angelina initially wanted to be buried beside her ex-husband Billy Bob (Thornton)," says a source, "She bought his and hers cemetery plots in Louisiana but since then she's changed her will. She's been trying to persuade Brad to make a decision on where they should be buried but he thinks the whole thing is morbid." [DailyMail]
• Pitt has been dealing with the stress by retreating to his separate two-bedroom home, where neighbors say he has been "playing Nick Drake quite loudly." Oh, dear. [DailyMail]
• G.I. Joe star Channing Tatum says he loves being a newlywed: "We've been together, and nothing's really changed. It's pretty much the same as I've felt every day since I met her – and that's just about perfect." [People]
• Disturbing: Charles Manson allegedly runs a memorabilia business out of his cell, selling autographs to morbid collectors. [PageSix]
• Whitney Houston won't be singing live on Good Morning America this September; instead, her performance will be taped the day before, as Whitney "is not a morning person" and would rather not perform at 7:30 am. [PageSix]
• "Michael, after 50 years of waiting, God has finally called you home to do what you do best. He shared your extraordinary talent with us all for many decades and now it's time for you to spread your wings to a much higher level, which of course I know you will do, and join the other angels and give them an incredible eternal performance. Keep the angels smiling, Joker!"- LaToya Jackson, in a post on her website, dedicated to her brother Michael. [USWeekly]
• Jackson's death has been devastating for his mother, Katherine Jackson, who currently has custody of his children: "This pressure is tearing her apart physically and emotionally," says a source, "At her age and in her fragile state of health, more exertion could trigger another stroke. She has full time nursing care but the strain is visibly taking its toll." [DailyExpress]
• Judd Apatow's Funny People won the Friday box office with 8.6 million dollars. [EW]
• Kate Gosselin has reportedly purchased a condo in Rockville, Maryland that's only about a mile away from the home of her bodyguard, Steve Neild. [E!]
• Blind Item:"Which Oscar winning actor has used this as a chat-up line? 'Why don't you to come back to my trailer and let me impregnate you? Think about it – 20 grand a year for life.'" [BlindGossip]
• "I could not be happier. I'm absolutely thrilled with her as a person, as an actor. I've gotten to know her a bit over this time, and I can't speak highly enough of her."-Joan Jett, approving Kristen Stewart's portrayal of her in The Runaways. [ONTD]
• Courtney Love has allegedly been taking the growth hormone Genotropin in an attempt to slow the aging process. "Courtney has been struggling with her weight,' says a source, "She's been using the hormones to help her gain muscle and for anti-ageing and likes the results. But she's not very discreet. She even left a vial of it in her LA hotel room." [DailyMail]
• A source claims that Jessica Simpson's Barbie and Ken themed birthday party was the last straw for Tony Romo, who broke up with Simpson the night before the party was supposed to take place: "There was no way Tony was going to dress up like a Ken doll. He never would have lived it down. His teammates would have roasted him to death. But sadly, Jess just didn't get it!" [ShowbizSpy]
• "I love kids, don't get me wrong, because without them I wouldn't be where I am today, but they do follow me around to the most peculiar places. And they're very loud! When they start screaming it's sweet to see how enthusiastic they are, but I'm going to go deaf sooner than most people. It's impossible to calm them down when they start, I just cover my ears."- Vanessa Hudgens [ShowbizSpy]
• "I don't drink, so how am I going to meet people? I'm going to go up to a drunk guy and be like, ‘Hey, let me take advantage of you'? Not that I'm antisocial. I am kind of antisocial. It's just so intimidating to go from, like, ‘You want to play basketball and get to know each other?' to ‘Let's go on a date and see if it might get dirty.'"- Charlyne Yi on the difficulties of dating. [NYTimes]

[Image via WENN]

• Here's the first picture of Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick with their new twins, Marion and Tabitha Broderick. Big brother James, are you ready for double trouble? [TMZ]

• Britney Spears has dark hair and something that looks like an engagement ring. What does it mean??? [NY Daily News]
• Uh-oh: Us Weekly dropped $120,000 for exclusive rights to Kendra Wilkinson's wedding, but the death of Michael Jackson will push her bridal bliss off the cover. [Page Six]
• Will Michael Jackson's body be put on display in a coffin of glass, like Eva Peron? [The Sun]
• Michael Jackson's mother has been granted temporary guardianship of his three kids. [LA Times]
• According to a source, Michael Jackson almost died once before — in 2004 — he was unconscious and had to be revived. [Fox News]
• Michael Jackson's doctor didn't call 911 for a half hour after finding MJ unconscious. [TMZ]
• The LAPD is trying to identify and interview "multiple doctors" who treated or prescribed medicine to Michael Jackson. [LA Times]
• Michael Jackson's mother Katherine is worried about people stealing from MJ's estate. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe has been reaching out to the Jackson family, but has been unsuccessful. [People]
• A will drafted by Michael Jackson in 2002 may be released this week. [WSJ]
• "Michael Jackson's Last Art Purchase." A wicked witch painting. [TMZ]
• "Michael Jackson was spending £30,000 a month on prescription drugs," says this paper, which lied to us yesterday. [The Sun]
• "Michael Jackson's Death: Sorting Fact From Fiction." A run down of all the claims and contradictions. [NY Daily News]
• Two weeks before he died, Michael Jackson completed a video project; his last. [AP]
• Expect some "instant" Michael Jackson books — some due by the end of the week, one coming in July. [AP]
• Michael Jackson's "This Is It" tour is being transformed into a tribute concert in September, and Madonna may take part. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Here is Lindsay Lohan posing like Michael Jackson. [NY Daily News]
• Ladies and gentlemen, a statement from Jon and Kate Gosselin: "During this very difficult time we will be working to focus solely on the needs of our family. This includes no longer commenting publicly or reacting to media stories and speculation. Our goal is to do the very best for our children and that will be done as privately as possible. We appreciate the understanding, support and well wishes from so many. Thank you." [TLC]
• Chris Brown was not at the BET Awards because Al Sharpton and Jay-Z were "very vocal" with producers about not letting him appear. [Gatecrasher]
• A source says: "Jay-Z wasn't having it. He threatened to pull out of the show if Chris was involved, so BET dropped Chris." [Page Six]
• Chris Brown's friend Teairra Mari says: "He's sorry. That's my friend, and I love Chris. He's a good kid-he just made a mistake. He knows that and feels terrible about it." [E!]
• Justin Timberlake went out boozing with Guy Ritchie, and guess which one went home at 2:30am and which one stayed in the pub? Guy was in it til the bitter end. [The Sun]
• How is the filming of The Runaways going? Well, Joan Jett made Kristen Stewart cry. So. [Gatecrasher]
• Some GQ Brüno pictures in which the character is posing with a high school football team have infuriated a school official in L.A., who says: "We've allowed our students to be used, and not in the most glamorous circumstances either." [UPI]
• Susan Boyle on Ugly Betty? Why, yes. [Telegraph]
• Amy Winehouse has been banned from taking in any more stray dogs after resort management had to fumigate her house in St. Lucia. [The Sun]
• George Clooney is not dead. Why are there so many death pranks? That shit is not funny. [TMZ]
• Kate Moss's boyfriend Jamie Hince is getting tired of Kate's lengthy karaoke sessions and is limiting her to half an hour a day. [The Sun]
• Lady GaGa visited an HIV Support Centre in Manchester, UK yesterday, and said: "I've been doing volunteer work since I was two." She also said: "I want to make it fashionable to have safe sex. You must be safe. You can have sex with hundreds of people with a condom on and get nothing. If you have sex without one, then you could get all sorts of problems." To which this paper asks, "Speaking from experience?" [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher is Tweeting for the White House. No, really. [Politico]
• Kathy Griffin on NPR! "NPR listeners, I know who you are. I know you guys read books, which I find tedious. You guys might try a book called Us Weekly. OK? It's a really good book. It has a lot of pictures." [NPR]
• Megan Fox spent the weekend in Las Vegas with Brian Austin Green. Back together? [E!]
• Someone threw a drink on Anna Kournikova at a club in Vegas and the tennis player "sprang into action," showing and screaming at the lady. [Page Six]
• Marissa Jaret Winokur continues to blog about her "weight loss journey." She writes: "I downloaded the video of Beyoncé's 'Single Ladies' and started to learn her dance. Let me tell you, if I ever did that dance in a club I would still be a single lady!!! But what a workout! It was free and fun and it kept my son very entertained – it was like a real-life Muppet danced out of his TV and into the living room. It kept him and, sadly, my husband very amused for almost an hour." [People]
• "Hollywood stars Antonio Banderas And Melanie Griffiths' Garden Seized As Spain Cracks Down On Illegal Coastal Homes." They'll lose their 40 foot swimming pool! [Daily Mail]
• Is Antonia Kidman — sister of Nicole and TV personality in Australia — addicted to exercise? [News.com.au]
• Redmond O'Neal with be allowed to leave jail to attend his mother Farrah Fawcett's funeral. [People]
• Law And Order: SVU fans, take note: Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay have finally signed on to stay for two more seasons. [Variety]
• Amy Adams is in negotiations to star alongside Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg in boxing drama The Fighter. [Variety]
• Some kind of drama involving Kanye West's bisexual girlfriend Amber Rose and a singer named Nicki Minaj, who Amber hit on? [ONTD]
• Here's a Q&A with Wilco's Jeff Tweedy, who says: "We did get word that whoever's in charge of loading [Barack Obama's] iPod requested the record and we got the record in." [Time]
• Best wishes to 92-year-old Zsa Zsa Gabor, who is out of the hospital after a 6-day stay for flu-like symptoms. [AP]
• The Nutty Professor is coming to Broadway, and Jerry Lewis will direct. [AP]
• Whatshername and Whatshisname: fighting in public. [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which former boy bander looked oh-so-strung-out over the weekend? His diet of booze and nose candy certainly isn't helping his skin-and-bones appearance." [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't watch TV comedy in the UK anymore. We've got some poor copies of Curb Your Enthusiasm, some poor copies of Entourage and some poor copies of Seinfeld. With a few exceptions the Americans seem to be ahead of the game." — Ricky Gervais. [The Sun]
• "I pointed to a spot where I told him I wanted to be buried. Michael had a meltdown right then and there when he heard this. He shrieked and bent over and said, 'No, no, no.' [He said,] 'Don't ever talk about your dying. Don't ever think about it.' I couldn't pretend to understand him. There were so many complicated signals. Did he want me to be his 'older woman' friend? He gravitated to older women. For solace? Succor? A beard? Did he want me to teach him the ropes? I never could quite figure it out." — Jane Fonda, on her relationship with Michael Jackson. [E!]
• "I wish I could say that I was inspired by him for a role, I was inspired by him because I think he was a great artist but he was not the inspiration for Willy Wonka contrary to what most people say. No no no, I never ever thought of playing Michael Jackson in a film, I think if anyone should play Michael Jackson in a film it should've been Michael Jackson. A mother and a father have lost a son, siblings have lost a brother and millions of people around the world have lost someone they love. Children have lost a father so it's obviously a very sad, sad moment." — Johnny Depp. [The Star]
• "At the moment I feel like I need to go away and figure out what I want to do and be myself for a bit. I just want to take a step back from it and not rush into stuff. I need university to give me that break. People think because I'm going to university I'm never going to act again, but it's actually me… I want to… figure out how I feel about everything first. Maybe I'll keep acting, maybe I won't. I just want to find something where I feel I have to do this. Maybe that'll happen when I read a script. It felt like that with Hermione. I want to feel like that again." — Emma Watson, who will attend Columbia University in the fall. [Elle UK, NY Daily News]

[Los Angeles, June 22. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, June 22. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, June 18. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, June 16. Image via Flynet]

[Los Angeles, June 11. Image via INF]

[New York, May 19. Image via AP.]

In this photo released by the United States Navy, entertainer Joan Jett prepares to board a Navy helicopter en route to USS Iwo Jima for a tour of the ship during Fleet Week New York, Tuesday, May 19, 2009. Approximately 3,000 sailors, marines and coast guardsmen will participate in the 22nd commemoration of Fleet Week New York. (AP Photo/U.S. Navy, Laurie L. Wood)

• Total chaos broke out during a New York casting call for the next cycle of America's Next Top Model, with wannabe models fighting and causing a stampede that sent two people to the hospital. [E!]

• The insanity began with a fight between two contestants, and was made worse by the arrival of a broken-down BMW that began spewing smoke into the air, causing bomb rumors to sweep through the crowd, sending people into a panic. "The girls were running like it was 9/11 part two," said Jennifer Brown, "I feared for my life." [E!]
• Kate Bosworth may have broken up with her model boyfriend. [DailyMail]
• Lindsay Lohan's lawyer claims that the warrant for her arrest is based on a misunderstanding: "Since her case was resolved, Ms. Lohan has been in compliance with all the terms and conditions of her probation and all orders of the court," says Shawn Chapman Holley, "The warrant issued on Friday was, in our view, born out of a misunderstanding which I am confident I can clear up next week." [People]
• Meanwhile, Lindsay's dad, Michael, can't resist any opportunity to make sure everyone in the world knows that he doesn't like Lindsay's girlfriend, Samantha Ronson: "I'm always worried about Lindsay as long as she's involved in relationships that are harmful to her," Lohan says. [USWeekly]
• Gwyneth Paltrow doesn't quite buy Joaquin Phoenix's transition into a rap star: "I'm not a hundred percent sure that that's really going to be the case," Paltrow says, "I think that there might be some other explanation or something going on. I'm not quite sure what, but I can't believe that he's really going to quit forever to become a rapper. It seems odd." [DailyExpress]
• Gold medal winning gymnast Dominique Moceanu and her husband, Mike Canales, just had their second child together. [People]
• ""Some people are just born stars. You either have it or you haven't, and I was definitely born one.
  Even as a kid I always had eyes on me, like bees on honey. I was always outrageous and I was always very smart."-Lady GaGa [ShowbizSpy]
• Michael Jackson's comeback is starting strong: all 50 of Jackson's upcoming London concerts sold out within a matter of hours. [People]
• "I don't spend a lot of time thinking about what to change. There are things we all have that we would like to work on, and I have a list of things that I could do better in my life. But as for the physical attributes, or lack of, I think a lot about how to be a better person instead. Better wife, better mother, better friend. Those I work on."-Sarah Jessica Parker [DailyMail]
• When asked how she felt about sharing the SNL stage with Sarah Palin last October, Adele responded: "I think she's a fucking nutter, but she comes tottering over at the end, with her secret service people and she's like, 'Me and my daughters love you!' Of course she wasn't talking to me about abortion ..."[Guardian]
• "I went through a phase where I thought it was really funny to make pratfalls in very crowded places, and I jumped out of a moving car once for a laugh. That was a mistake."- Paul Rudd [NYTimes]
• Justin Long and Drew Barrymore are reportedly back together. "They sat at the sushi bar and ordered Sake and dinner. They were both in a great mood. They were smiling ear to ear the whole time, and laughing and looking they were so happy they were going to burst," says a source, "They looked in love. They finished their dinner with him springing for the tab, and walked out arm in arm."[JustJared]
• Kristen Stewart can't wait to play Joan Jett in the upcoming Runaways biopic:"Joan is such a remarkable role model for any young girl. She was the first female to start a record label, and so young, in her early 20s. She was an activist and feminist." [LATimes]
• Nadya Suleman allegedly spent over $1000 during a recent trip to a MAC cosmetics counter. [TMZ]
• Matt Damon is gearing up for the fourth installment of the Bourne series: "We're working on it," Damon says, "This time it would be from an original script rather than a book by Robert Ludlum, but the director Paul Greengrass is busy and I am too, so we'll see what happens." [IMDB]
• Prince Harry was photographed making a royal getaway...with pink fingernails. [DListed]
• "In high school, my husband and his friends used to say nerds instead of shit. Like, Ah, nerds, I forgot the keys."- Amy Poehler. Ah, nerds, Amy. We love you. [ONTD]

• Lindsay Lohan is reportedly pissed that Katie Holmes is on Glamour's April cover; LL was under the impression that her Madonna shot would get the cover. Insiders say that was never gonna happen. [MSNBC Scoop]

• Evidence in the Chris Brown case includes Rihanna's blood-stained Gucci gown, which she wore to Clive Davis's pre-Grammy party the night of the incident. [E!]
• And now the DA has received the case from the LAPD. [TMZ]
• Attorneys for Chris Brown are in talks with the DA's office, hoping to cop a plea deal. They're pushing for probation instead of jail time. [E!]
• Reportedly, the night of the beating, Rihanna told cops that Chris Brown had been violent toward her in the past and things were getting "more violent" as time went on. Also, there are more photos — taken the next day — where the bruising and swelling on Rihanna's face is more severe. [TMZ]
• Did Rihanna recently tell cops she won't testify? [NY Post]
• Chris Brown may be in court today. [NY Post]
• How did the paparazzi know that Chris Brown was jet skiing in Miami? Did he call the photo agency? [Page Six]
• Breaking: Mercury-poisoned Jeremy Piven seen eating tuna tartare and calamari salad. Fishy! [MSNBC]
• Reese Witherspoon is on the cover of Elle magazine, and says of beau Jake Gyllenhaal: "He's fabulous. He really is a fantastic guy. Unfortunately, he's not in the movie, so we can't really talk about him." She also talks about being a young mom: "When I first had Ava, I couldn't afford [help]. And it was so hard. I was out in Los Angeles, living [away from my family]. I really didn't have any friends. And I had a baby. No one else who was 22 had a baby. I couldn't go out." [Just Jared]
• Katherine Heigl is being a diva on the set of her latest movie, Five Killers. An insider says: "She reportedly refused to film any scenes until her pregnant assistant ran around and got her a Coke Zero. She refused to eat lunch next to anyone or have anyone speak to her once the cameras stopped rolling." [NY Daily News]
• James Franco, actor and MFA candidate, who attends NYU and Columbia simultaneously, has sold a collection of short stories to Simon & Schuster. [The Daily Beast]
• Matt Damon is preparing for his role in a film about Nelson Mandela by doing rugby training. But he plays a rugby champ, so it's okay. [Telegraph]
• Hmm, Dakota Fanning is in negotiations to play lead singer Cheri Currie in The Runaways, the biopic of the '70s all-girl band. Can you see Dakota like this? Oh, and you know Kristen Stewart is playing Joan Jett, right? [Variety]
• Benicio Del Toro met with Venezuelan prez Hugo Chavez and said he "had a good time." "He's nice," Del Toro told journalists. [Mirror]
• Chris Martin says he's given Natalie Imbruglia "the best Coldplay song of all time." This should be interesting. [The Sun]
• Russell Brand has been seen "snogging a new girl." [The Sun]
• What's this? Ivana Trump's marriage to 36-year-old "Italian stallion" Rossano Rubicondi was a contract to get publicity for both of them? You don't say. [Gatecrasher]
• An episode of the Osbournes' reality show will air on March 31 after American Idol. The network is running it as a "special" and not a series, but we may see all six episodes, eventually. Yay? [Variety]
• Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino are suing a film distributor and watch company for ads tied to their film Righteous Kill. Endorsements without consent? [Reuters]
• Liz Smith talks to Sharon Stone about her upcoming projects; apparently Stone has two flicks coming out — one with Christopher Walken; the other with Va; Kilmer and 50 Cent. Of Fiddy, Stone says: "He is smoking hot, brilliant!" [Variety]
• Nia Vardalos of My Big Fat Greek Wedding has a new flick set in Greece. Her character, Georgia, "moves on a whim to Greece, and [tour guide] is the only job she could get," she explains. "She is a history professor who is all about facts and figures," which only bores the tourists. "All they want is a T-shirt of the Parthenon." [USA Today]
• Michael Jackson lawsuit of the day: He's suing an auction house which is selling off his personal possessions. [AP]
• By the by, Michael Jackson's first show at London's O2 arena is July 9. [Fox 411]
• Sofia Coppola and John Waters were both spotted at the Armory Art Show in New York. Why they were there on a "press preview" day is questionable. [Mediabistro]
• Chris Isaak's has a show on the BIO channel, and his cohost is a dog named Rodney. "Rodney is not 'my' dog, because you can't own a living thing, OK," he says. "We're friends" — then Isaak breaks into song. [CNN]
• Jerry Hall, 52, plays an older lady toying with a younger man in her new Chanel ads, but says she wouldn't date a dude in his twenties: "They listen to such horrible music. They haven't the same references… And I find it a bit creepy if you're having sex with people the same age as your children." The ads are hot, though. [Daily Mail]
• People paid money to see a Toni Braxton show, and got a "Toni Braxton" show — the lady on stage was an impersonator. [TMZ]
• Kirk Douglas, 92, stars in a one man show. [AP]
• Johnny Depp's half-brother, Daniel Depp, a screenwriter, has just released his first book, a thriller/detective novel set in L.A. [USA Today]
• Great piece on the legendary Blake Edwards — responsible for flicks like Breakfast At Tiffany's and the original Pink Panther movie. He says: "I enjoy laughter. And I really, truly feel that if there were some way to distill it, that you could go to your local pharmacy and ask for 16 ounces of Pure Pratfall, I'd probably make it to 110. I think it's the best medicine in the world." [WSJ]
• Contrary to reports, Ed McMahon is not dead. [Perez]
• RIP Horton Foote, screenwriter of Tender Mercies and To Kill A Mockingbird. [USA Today]
• Blind item: "Which closeted jack-of-all-trades just became secretly engaged to her girlfriend? Word is, the two will wed soon in N.J." [Gatecrasher]
• "I've since found out Rihanna's got the same thing, so it's not really – I mean she's very cool – but I thought I was being original." — Lily Allen, sort of regretting her "shh" tattoo. [News.com.au]
• "I did not enter into motherhood with any sense of equanimity or grace," she adds with a laugh. "I'm surrounded by women who are much better mothers than I am, and they come to it much more naturally." — Felicity Huffman. [LA Times]
• "Meryl is really amazing and she has done some interesting stuff, but it's just she doesn't leave a lot of roles for the rest of us. It's an ongoing problem getting parts for older women." — the amazing Miranda Richardson, who is in The Young Victoria and whom you may have seen in The Phantom Of The Opera, The Hours, Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire or Sleepy Hollow. [Telegraph]
• "I don't think I'm a control freak. I think I'm just fearful. I operate from a lot of fear, like, of things being lost or forgotten or neglected. Losing the spiritual rather than the physical. It's so funny to me that somehow I've been portrayed as a very, like, closed-off or uptight person. I'm very open." — Reese Witherspoon, in Elle. [Just Jared]
• "It was very cool. He called and said, 'Would you mind getting on the phone with my son?' I felt like Yoda to young Skywalker." — Ralph Macchio, on speaking to Will Smith and son Jaden about their Karate Kid remake. [E!]
• "When I started Home [collection] they thought, 'who is this "Charlie's Angel" telling us about furniture and antiques?' But once you really know what you are talking about, it does not take long for people to recognize that. It is all about backing it up with knowledge. But in the business world, as a woman, you really do have to represent yourself in the proper way otherwise you won't be taken seriously." — Jaclyn Smith, on her KMart line, which is doing extremely well.
  [Reuters]
• "I'll be totally honest: That was his idea. He just sort of said, 'Hey, I'm gonna do this - I hope you're cool with it.' And I thought, 'OK, well, I mean, he's good and he's a talented guy and it wouldn't hurt having him in the movie. I suppose yeah, OK, sure.'" — Colin Hanks, on his father, Tom, playing his dad in new flick The Great Buck Howard. [WWD]

• "A Los Angeles Superior Court official said Tuesday that MTV was recently granted permission to shoot in a courtroom in Beverly Hills, but it was done after hours - and that's not one of their judges sitting on the bench in The Hills footage.MTV was granted permission to film 'what purported to be a wedding outside of court hours' at the Beverly Hills courthouse, court spokesman Allan Parachini said Tuesday. He did not know who the participants were in the wedding, but Parachini said court officials wanted the filming to be treated as a news event." [AP]
• Did Kate Walsh's marriage implode because she was getting McSteamy with Private Practice co-star David Sutcliffe? Soap opera-y dramz in real life! [Star]
• Tiffani Amber Thiessen: knocked up. This will be the first child for the artist formerly known as Kelly Kapowski. [Star]
• Speaking of 90s stars and their spawn, Full House star Jodie Sweetin is in the midst of a messy custody war. TMZ says, "Her estranged husband called for an emergency hearing this morning to get access to their 8-month old daughter ASAP." How rude! Sorry, it had to be said. [TMZ]
• Oh lord. Nick Lachey is going to be on another MTV show. Because the first one worked out so well for him and his marriage! Anyway, EW describes the show as "Untitled Nick Lachey project: Former Jessica Simpson appendage follows Ohio theater geeks." Sounds like a recipe for…something. [EW]
• LeeLee Sobieski swears that Christian Bale was a "protector" on the set of the new Terminator movie. However, she wouldn't elaborate specifically, and only said, "He was very protective of all the women and the men on set. He was actually amazing to everybody, the utmost professional guy. In fact there was even an instance one night where he kept a lady safe." [E! Online]
• Correction! Katy Perry is not engaged to Gym Class Heroes member Travis McCoy. Since we are olds, we still don't really know who these people are, but we are happy to relay the proper information. [Perez]
• An overzealous loon spooked Lindsay Lohan in Scottsdale the other night. "The gentleman became very excited when he realized he was so close to Samantha and he has a history of being a stalker with Lindsay Lohan so he immediately attacked her and started yelling, 'I love her, I love her.'" The man was arrested for disorderly conduct but released a few hours later. Stay safe Lilo! [TMZ]
• What habit does Jennifer Aniston hate most in a man? "selfishness. No, that's a behavior. What's a bad habit? I'd say forgetting to turn off the lights." Those pet peeves can really wear a gal down. [People]
• Joan Jett had this to say about recruiting bands for her new record label, Blackheart: "Now it's becoming something where we can give people an opportunity. And certainly girls who are having a tougher time, as I felt myself, but it's obviously not limited to girls, we're just looking for good music, bands that want to work hard." [Rolling Stone ]
• Speaking of Ms. Jett, Kristen Stewart says it's bonkers that she was chosen to play Joan in the forthcoming biopic about Jett's band, The Runaways. "It's an absolutely insane concept for me to even think that I'm going to play her, but apparently I got the job so I'm going to give it all I've got." [NYM]
• Katie Holmes turns 30 this week, and hubby Tom Cruise says he's going to plan a birthday palooza for his wife. "I've been kind of surprising her throughout the week with things," he says. [People]
• Though she's rumored to be dating actor Kyle Howard, Lauren Conrad says she doesn't know who her New Year's kiss will be. However, she is super fine with Amanda Bynes dating her ex, frozen burrito heir Doug Reinhardt. ""They seem really cute together," LC says. "I haven't met her, but he's a really great guy." [E! Online via Yahoo]
• Count Rosario Dawson among the Twilight obsessives. "I just read the first book, it's ridiculous, it's like crack cocaine. I read it for 10 hours straight until I finished it," Dawson gushes. [People]
• Eva Mendes wanted a ticket to Obama's inauguration, but this time, her celebrity couldn't help her snag an invite. "We are still working on it, but I understand the whole thing. They don't want to make (it) a celebrity studded event because I understand this in an extremely crucial time in our history and in our world right now. And I understand not wanting to make (it) a star-studded event; I completely understand that. But of course, I would love to go and be there," the starlet says. Yeah, you and 50 million other people, lady. [Daily Express]
• "So much of what I went through the last eight years, it was unnecessary. It was completely unnecessary. It costs a fortune. And more the psychic toll. I mean, I aged like 20 years in the last eight years. It really — it killed me. I was really tired." — Alec Baldwin on his trainwreck divorce from Kim Basinger. [Perez]
• OMG! Some dude got his Price Is Right bid in the final Showcase on the nose. This is the first time in 30 years someone has guessed the exact price of a Showcase. Host Drew Carey acted weird about it: "A TMZ spy who happened to be in the audience during the taping says when Drew knew the guy hit the exact number, he stopped down taping and had a pow-wow with show producers for nearly 30 minutes. Our spy thinks they were trying to figure out how to handle the situation on camera." [TMZ]

• Okay, so they're saying Beyoncé had a little armpit hair at the Cadillac Records premiere. 1) Who cares? 2) Can you even see it? [Mirror]
• A reader points out you can barely see Beyoncé's pit hair in Perez's pictures, though on TMZ, her pits seem especially hirsute. Photoshop of horrors? [Perez Hilton, TMZ]
• Surely when Kanye West said that Beyoncé is "just as great, if not greater, than artists we had in the past. She’s probably greater than Tina Turner," he had not seen this. [Perez Hilton]
• Tina Turner put on a show in New York right after being hospitalized for having a very high fever. Amazing. [Page Six]

• William Balfour, the man accused of killing Jennifer Hudson's mother, brother and nephew, is innocent, says William Balfour's lawyer. [People]
• Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil, failed a drug test, so he's headed back to prison to be Blake Incarcerated again. [Daily Mail, Mirror]
• Here's the thing: If Blake had stayed in prison instead of going to rehab as part of an early release, he'd be out at the end of the month. Now he could be in jail until 2010. Whoops! [The Sun]
• Remember how Miley Cyrus said she was "embarrassed" by her Vanity Fair issue with those suggestive Annie Leibovitz pictures? Well she told Scotland's Daily Record: "Everyone outside of America liked it a little bit more because that's more like the style, but the States are really conservative." And! "I would love to be a photographer. She was amazing and so talented and her lighting... I would love to work with her again. But I realize I'm just a kid." [ONTD]
• Madonna was in Buenos Aires yesterday, where she met with Argentine President Cristina Fernandez as well as former guerilla hostage Ingrid Betancourt. [USA Today]
• Twilight's Kristen Stewart will play Joan Jett in biopic The Runaways. Do we approve of this casting? [Hollywood Reporter]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham on her new clothing line: "Do I draw? No. Then again, nor do lots of designers. But I put it all on myself and walk around in it, and I know what feels comfortable. I know how a dress should sit. I’ve worn so many and when I see the photographs I think, crikey, my boobs are up round my neck again because the corsets are too short and not cut high enough." Ooh, and: "In these recessionary times, and at these prices, women are looking for something that will be an investment, aren’t they?" [Mirror]
• "I was never that good a singer, but I think I am good at fashion." — Victoria Beckham. [The Sun]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown are being sued by a photographer, who claims he was beaten and robbed of his $3,000 camera after taking a picture of the couple in May. Did the singers' bodyguards go ballistic? [TMZ]
• Hockey star and Vogue intern Sean Avery has been suspended by the NHL for making "inappropriate comments." He said: "I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds," referring to ex girlfriends Elisha Cuthbert and Rachel Hunter, who are both dating other players. [AP, Gawker]
• A sneak peek at the season premiere of Lost! Drama for Kate and not-so-little-baby Aaron, involving the nature of their relationship… [LA Times]
• Christina Aguilera wears a heart-shaped locket with her son Max's name on it and a tiny drop of human blood. She doesn't say whose blood it is, but does claim: "I love the symbolism of the blood droplet. It's like Max pierced my heart." [Perez Hilton]
• Naomi Watts plans to get naked in the name of art. [Daily Express]
• First Alyson Hannigan, now How I Met Your Mother costar Cobie Smulders is pregnant, too. Something in the water? [MSNBC]
• Pete Wentz admits that getting Ashlee Simpson knocked up was a "happy accident." [Page Six]
• Audrina Patridge has written a blog post in which she says: "I just want to put it on record that never did I EVER call Lauren a 'slut,' 'bad friend,' 'shady person,' etc. I simply asked her a question and that’s how she interpreted it. I didn’t go around town running my mouth either." Plus: "Justin and Lauren treating me like I wasn’t worthy of an explanation was almost worse than the rumor itself, and it only got worse the harder I tried to get a genuine answer." And! as for JustinBobby: "His inexcusable behavior has become somewhat expected at this point. And I just want to say that if I were looking for a serious relationship, I would definitely be looking elsewhere!" [People]
• Zoolander sequel: Good idea? Not sure. Me and my friends have been too busy sunbathing off the southern coast of St. Bart's with spider monkeys for the past two weeks, tripping on acid. Changed our whole perspective on shit. [ONTD]
• CBS has a midseason series called Game Show In My Head, a reality show produced by Ashton Kutcher. Contestants must perform "embarrassing and hilarious" tasks in front of strangers to earn cash. [NY Times]
• VH1 is ordering up 8 episodes of Tough Love, a reality series from Nancy Juvonen and Drew Barrymore's Flower Films. The premise: A group of women in a house get "ready" to meet Mr. Right by having their destructive dating habits "reshaped" at "tough love boot camp." [Variety]
• Johnny Depp's production company has acquired the screen rights to In The Hand Of Dante, a Nick Tosches novel. [Variety]
• Tyler Perry was in court over allegations that he stole the material for his blockbuster film Diary of a Mad Black Woman from a playwright named Donna West. [Yahoo News]
• Donny Osmond on gay marriage: "There are many gay individuals that are members of our church. I know many of them. In fact, some of my best friends are gay. You ask how I react regarding their marriages. Well, I do support our Church leaders who say that we can accept those with gay tendencies in our church as long as they do not act upon their temptations. Everyone has tendencies to succumb to temptation, but we all have the same standard given to us by our Father in Heaven. Whether we may be tempted to be immoral with members of our own sex or of the opposite sex, we are expected to live chaste lives." [Joe. My. God., Donny.com]
• Dylan McDermott, who married his wife Shiva Rose in 1995 and = with whom he has two children, will be single again on January 2, when their divorce is final. New year, new you. [TMZ]
• Kristin Chenoweth is working on a memoir, due in stores April 2009. [Daily Express]
• Ricky Gervais answers reader questions, and talks about the Beckhams being in an Extras special. [The Sun]
• Brandy, who has not recorded anything for four years, has a new album, out December 9. She still faces a wrongful death lawsuit which goes to trial in April, stemming from a car accident in which another driver died. Says she: "What I experienced in the past couple of years was tough, but I had to face it and find the strength to move forward. Connecting back with music has definitely helped me through everything. Once I got back in the studio, the butterflies went away." [Yahoo News]
• Julianne Hough and her boyfriend are "talking marriage" but are not engaged. [People]
• Gary Coleman was in court yesterday, facing a disorderly conduct charge from that Utah incident outside of a bowling alley. He paid $100, case closed. [ET]
• What's a Hollywood lawsuit without mentioning the name Bruce Willis? [TMZ]
• Former Playmate Shauna sand claims she was choked, punched and thrown across the room in front of her kids by her husband, Romain Chavent. She got a restraining order against him yesterday and the paperwork alleges that the Frenchman hit her in the breasts when she'd just had reconstructive surgery. [TMZ]
• Donald Trump is mad at his brother Robert, since Robert's getting divorced but failed to get a pre-nup. Ouch. [Page Six]
• "I have a passion for words. That has always been in me, and I wanted to see if I could come up with some interesting phrases. I wanted to make people laugh a little and to tell some good stories." — actor Christopher Plummer, whose memoir is "engaging." [WSJ]
• "Nobody really wants to recognize that Beyoncé is a fucking living legend." — Kanye West. [Perez Hilton]
• "Every investor and financier turned down this film because of Mickey Rourke, but I wouldn't do the film without him." — Director Darren Aronofsky, on The Wrestler. [Page Six]
• "Some actors take drugs, drink, and act crazy to light a fire within them; others take drugs, drink, and act oddly to put out the fire in them. Mickey [Rourke] is one of those actors." — Alec Baldwin. [Page Six]
• "It is fun, obviously, to kiss Beyoncé. I insisted on a lot of takes." — Adrien Brody, on his role in Cadillac Records. [Rush & Molloy]
• "I got my gig late, got married late, had my kid late – and none of it came a minute too soon. All my life I'd had this problem with following through, not feeling that I was worth it. Not having a mother makes you think, 'If only I'd been better, she wouldn't have left me.'" — Mariska Hargitay. [People]
• "I've been contemplating taking a college course in religion. I love religion. I remember whenever the book The Da Vinci Code came out, the Discovery Channel did this three-night piece on it that I TiVoed and then watched eight times." — noted scholar Jessica Simpson. [Page Six]
• "I'm planning an album of all these great songs from the '60s that I've never covered before. It was such a magical time for music - groups like The Beatles, the Hollies, the Zombies, the Kinks, the Stones and singers like Dylan and Otis Redding… I want to pay tribute to a time when I used to listen to music on my little transistor radio or on my AM radio in my Ford Mustang." — Cher. [Page Six]

The Good:
Loretta Lynn is, obviously, a law unto herself and this is how we like to see her: Regal, adorable, with just a hint of underlying steel.

Songwriter Madi Diaz has a great dress, cute date.

I'm no Strokes apologist, and I can't say I've ever given guitarist Albert Hammond, Jr. much thought beyond thinking that if you were going to do lead vocals in one song, "Last Nite" was a good one to have chosen. But he looks very dapper here. And, more to the point, warms the heart supporting his father, songwriter Albert Hammond, Sr.

Singer Lee Ann Womack looks crisp, extremely excited in white.

John Legend doing John Legend, convincingly.

The Bad:

Now, you could certainly mount the "Loretta Lynn" defense here: that Joan Jett is a law unto herself, not to be held to normal standards. I took this into account, though, and still thought she looked kinda creepy last night.

I, too, would probably use my hair as an impromptu tucker (that's the 19th c term for a little bodice cover-up) were I revealing the amount of cleavage of Johnny Rzeznik's date.

I thought long and hard about this one, because Natasha Bedingfield's getup is certainly not terrible, even leaving aside my expressed aversion for the color combination of purple and red, her unfortunate stance. Ultimately what damned her was the general disharmony of accessories, and a certain "offness" of proportion - the skirt was just slightly too long for that boat neck. (As a short person, I am obsessive about hemming. It can make or break, people! Half an inch!)

The Ugly:

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… The band Rouge.

The Good:
Ed Burns and Christy Turlington aren't so rock 'n' roll, but gosh and golly they look lovely.
Jerry Butler: One class act.
Dear Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan: You make me heart happy.
Does Chevy Chase's wristband mean he's old enough to drink?
I know I should hate Damien Rice's poseur maroon suit. But I sorta love it.
Leonard Cohen: He's your man.
Ben Harper can steal my kisses!
Nom nom Tom Hanks in glasses.
John Mellencamp: Way to rebel and ditch the tie.
Seth Meyers stays classy.
While Richard Belzer busts a move.
Princess of Firyal of Jordan looks like a Tory Burch ad.

The Bad:
Has Miss Patti been vacationing at Del Boca Vista?
God bless Iggy Pop for still rocking the shirtless chest and leather pants. That doesn't mean I have to like the look of it, though.
Joan Jett: See above.

The Ugly:
Even a love affair with Laurie Anderson doesn't compensate for Lou Reed's douchey attitude and leather suit.
Madonna, Madonna, Madonna: What the fuck are you wearing? The sorta see-through dress, the bow tie, the boots. Ugh.

[Images via FilmMagic.]

• M-K Olsen is supposedly venturing out of her Salinger-esque hiding to attend the Giambattista Valli show today. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Too bad, because also in MK news: she is writing a book! With Ashley, about (what else?!) her inimitable style. We assume this means she'll also go on the road promoting it, as opposed to hiding it away to be unearthed at her death with her bottles of pills and thousands of empty Venti Starbucks cups. [Sassybella]
  
• Meanwhile, Giambattista Valli is a fan of Obama. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Erin Fetherston: The movie. Starring Zooey Deschanel and Kirsten Dunst. Based on Romeo & Juliet. We're, er, skeptical. [Nylon]
  
• Designer logos made with cocaine. [NY Mag]

• Kat Von D (of LA Ink fame) is doing a cosmetics line for Sephora, which will be in stores in May. [Sephora's Beauty & the Blog via BellaSugar]
• How did model Gemma Ward prepare for her role in the film The Black Balloon? "I...listened to '90s music (i.e. MC Hammer)." [Chic Report]
• "We got here early because this party is usually messy," Julia Restoin-Roitfeld on the Balenciaga afterparty. Ew. [WWD, 1st item]
• M.I.A is starring alongside Karen O, Joan Jett, Billy Idol and other in the new ad campaign for Converse. But it's cool because Converse is owned by Nike now. [Chic Report]
• What the fuck? Norma Kamali for Wal-Mart?! And it's going to be licensed through Cherokee?! [WWD, sub req'd]
• Oh yay: model Coco Rocha to try acting. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Pepe Jeans wants to be the brand that denim whores run to instead of the so-called "premium" denim brands. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Limited Brands' profits are down by a whopping 11.6% this quarter. That ain't good. [WWD, sub req'd]
• The funnel-neck: It's back. Oy. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Why don't models brush their hair? I assume because they are like me: Lazy. [BellaSugar]
• Oh no: The cold is killing the pashmina goats! [Reuters]

What's even scarcer are male-fronted bands with women who play bass or guitar. If there is a woman in a band, she's generally the gorgeous face out front a la Jenny Lewis in Rilo Kiley. Bassists Tina Weymouth in the Talking Heads and D'arcy Wretzky from the Smashing Pumpkins are notable exceptions to the rule.

Joan Jett, one of only two women in Rolling Stone's list of the 100 Greatest Guitarists and former member of the all-girl band the Runaways, thinks that male critics are threatened by female rockers, which could explain the dearth of head bangers in bras. "My personal opinion is that rock'n' roll is very sexual, and when you're playing it, you're owning your sexuality," she tells the Guardian. "And I guess that's very threatening to a lot of people - that's the only thing I can figure why we ran into so much resistance."

My secret hope is that the Rock 'n Roll Camp for Girls will usher in a riot grrrl redux, and we'll return to the halcyon days of the early 90s when people cared about Sleater Kinney and the Breeders and Bikini Kill. Looking at a recent cover of Blender which features a half naked Pussycat Doll, I don't have much hope. Maybe someone needs to a tampon at the American audience to get shit riled up again.

The New Girl Power [Telegraph]
Queen Of Noise [Guardian]

There is the Dizzee Rascal song, a decent if somewhat depressing ong you can dance to, and the Iron & Wine sleeper, which we generally find more ideal for the consumption of fair-trade coffee and Odwalla beverages. The Natalie Merchant track, stripped of all the gross Merchant baggage, is pretty depressing, while the Joan Jett song is suitably perky. By far our favorite all-around "Jezebel" (though not, necessarily, the office's) is the Reverend Horton Heat cover of the Frankie Laine classic (and by "classic" we mean "song whose actual original performer no one generally knows") but there is really only one "Jezebel" suitable for sex, at least at the pace you sluts like it. Anyway, here it is. We'd do like Idolator and try to get you the songs for free, but we are really stupid about technology. Because, you know, we're GIRLS.


The Jezebel Imix