Jezebel: jitters

Coffee: Causes Miscarriage, Helps Ovaries, And Makes You Fat

Jessica — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 09:30:00 EST

Okay, remember the reports earlier this week that coffee and caffeine can terminate a pregnancy and protect ovaries from cancer? Well, news reports today suggest that all that java is making women fat. A report issued by British consumer watchdog group Which? says that "a Starbucks large white chocolate mocha with whipped cream and made with whole milk was found to contain 628 calories - nearly a third of the recommended daily amount for women." (Emphasis ours.)

And you know what happens following all that coffee-related weight-gain? Rates of miscarriage and ovarian cancer fatalities increase! But! Coffee helps prevent gallstones and decrease asthma attacks! But it can also increase fibrocystic changes in the breasts and cause acid reflux! Oh my god we're all going to DIEEEEEEEEEEEE. (Though, have you tried those new $1 cups of Joe at Starbucks. So cute and small!)

Coffee: The Good, The Cheap And The Fattening [Guardian]
Women And Coffee: How Many Cups A Day? [MSNBC]

Earlier: Coffeee Causes Miscarriage, Except When It Doesn't
Coffeee Causes Miscarriage But Prevents Ovarian Cancer
Why Coffee Shops Should Discriminate Against Women

Coffee Causes Miscarriage But Prevents Ovarian Cancer

Jessica — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 10:30:00 EST

Another day, another study about caffeine. Following yesterday's news that ingesting more than 200 milligrams of caffeine a day can double the risk of miscarriage, today coffee is good for women! According to a new study, women who drink 3 or more cups of coffee a day are 20% less likely to develop ovarian cancer then their water drinking compatriots. The benefits of coffee when it comes to ovarian cancer increase even more if you have not taken the pill or had hormone replacement therapy. The drunks out there can rest easy, because the study showed no relationship between alcohol use and ovarian cancer, though depending on how much you smoke, you can be more susceptible to mucinous tumors, a rare form of ovarian cancer. And what kind of coffee are the Jezebels drinking? The results may shock you.

After a highly scientific poll we conducted on the coffee drinking habits of the Bleeding-Heart Bleeding-Sexed, Socially-Conscious Clive Owen-Worshiping Slobs out there shows that 30% of you make your own fancy-schmancy, highly caffeinated java at home. 20% of you are nancy tea drinkers, 13% of you like your Starbucks with even more juice, and 10% of you like your Starbucks the way God and the body-obsessed intended: with fake sugar.

We're still waiting on tomorrow's study that shows caffeine may cause us to grow a third eye, become a sex fiend, and eat babies. Until then we'll continue to drink enough coffee to drown a horse.

Drinking Coffee May Lower Ovarian Cancer Risk: Study [Reuters]
Three Cups Of Coffee A Day 'Can Cut The Risk Of Ovarian Cancer'[Daily Mail]
Ovarian Cancer Risk Not Affected By Alcohol And Smoking, But Reduced By Caffeine [EurekAlert]

Earlier: Coffee Causes Miscarriage (Except When It Doesn't)
Rachael Ray On Dunkin Donuts Coffee: "What Is This Shit??"
The Jezebel Reader: Profile Of A Bleeding-Heart, Bleeding-Sexed, Socially-Conscious Clive Owen-Worshiping Slob

Coffee Causes Miscarriage (Except When It Doesn't)

Anna — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 09:30:00 EST

Potentially bad news for knocked-up Starbucks babes: A study published today suggests that women who consume more than 200 milligrams of caffeine a day double their risk of miscarriage in the first three months of pregnancy. (To put "200 milligrams" in perspective, a "tall" regular coffee from the 'Bux has 260 mg alone.) Researchers writing in the American Journal Of Obstetrics and Gynecology surmise that caffeine can have a negative effect on a developing embryo by restricting blood flow to the placenta or by interfering with the normal function of developing cells. (It can be difficult for a fetus or embryo to metabolize the stimulant.) But! Researchers in the journal Epidemiology aren't entirely convinced.

"I am not persuaded [caffeine] poses a health hazard," says epidemiologist David Savitz, who, Newsweek reports, considers caffeine "among the long list of things you should think about." "We don't really know the truth." And Dr. Alan Peaceman, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University cautions against "creating hysteria": "I tell women not to be guilty about a cup of coffee if that's what they really need. There are a lot of people who are hooked on caffeine, including myself. there is so much guilt out there that women have to deal with when they have a bad outcome in pregnancy. The vast majority is not within their control."

Caffeine Doubles Miscarriage Risk, Study Finds [Reuters]
Cup Of Contradictions [Newsweek]
New Kaiser Permanente Study Fortifies Caffeine's Link To Miscarriage [Eureka Alert]

Related: Starbucks Beverages [Starbucks]