I made the Huffington Post's Jason Linkins wait for far too long for that joke, and to discuss Terry McAuliffe, the Moran dynasty, Silvestre Reyes' stunning stupidity and how Bobby Jindal is or is not running for President.

MEGAN: Well, there's nothing like getting on the wrong subway and walking 15 blocks in the rain without an umbrella before you drink any coffee to make for a shit day.

JASON: Hey I can imagine.

MEGAN: So, was it you who asked Mamet for his take on Blagojevich? Because it's awesome.

JASON: No! But, yes, that was pretty awesome.

MEGAN: No one is more Mamet than Mamet. Did I mention I had to read Oleanna in college? It seemed like a weird book for a young male professor to assign.

• • • • • 17 minutes • • • • •

MEGAN: Seriously, I think the universe has decided that Crappy Hour is crap today. Let's try and go fast before my broadband card decides it needs to reboot again

JASON: OK. So. Where were we?

MEGAN: I was talking about my hot creative writing professor, George. I always got sidetracked by George.

JASON: OK. I had a hot Art History T.A. that was always a distraction to me.

MEGAN: Anyway, so, Bobby Jindal is supposedly probably definitely not running for President. I think that's a smart move.

JASON: I think probably Bobby Jindal isn't totally not NOT running for President? And that I think just about everyone is in that state of maybe probably sort of not NOT not considering it? And yet visiting Iowa for some reason? Anyway, I think it's a smart move to have press releases out there with the word "president" next to your name.

MEGAN: Especially when you're just randomly going to Virginia to endorse some dude for Governor. Because your name has, like, that much cache. But not because you're maybe running for President. Because you're not. At least, not right now, 3 years and 11 months from the next election. Not that you're thinking about that.

JASON: Ahh. The Virginia governor race. This is what Terry McAuliffe thinks he wants to do with his life.

MEGAN: I think that's kind of hilarious, actually. Terry McAuliffe would make Virginia fun. Way funner than Brian Moran. We could blog about state politics and people might actually read it!

JASON: It's Jim Moran. And a plague of weasels would be about as much fun as him. He's like a sad pile of sweaty cheese. He was a supporter of one of the professional theatres I worked at back in the day, so I've had the joy of seeing him stone asleep in the front row. Does wonders for morale! There are wide swathes of Virginia that are going to look at Terry McAuliffe and see something totally alien to their existence.

MEGAN: No, actually, Jim's brother Brian, a state rep, is running for Governor. Jim Moran's going to be our Congressman for life. Terry McAuliffe, though, is pretty alien-looking.

JASON: EEGGGGHHHH. This fucking state.

MEGAN: It's the Moran dynasty! Only Brian is either not as corrupt and racist as his brother, or is smart enough not to get caught. I've got my suspicions, but I find it hard to call a politician "smart." Especially after this week. Speaking of not-smart politicians, Gary "No Relation To Spencer" Ackerman compared Caroline Kennedy to J-Lo.

JASON: "Caroline Kennedy! She's just like Jennifer Lopez!" THIS is a pitch we're greenlighting during a recession? Really?

MEGAN: She's just Carrie from the block? God, that was a bad joke. Let's just walk quietly away from that wreckage.

JASON: Ha!

MEGAN: Oh, look, Baucus is trying to fuck up the new stimulus bill. He keeps trying to fuck Obama, between this and his health care bill from last month. I didn't even realize there was any enmity there.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and members of the Obama team, for one, want to pass a large-scale SCHIP expansion early next year as one of a handful of moves designed to allow Obama to claim some immediate accomplishments on popular issues.

But Baucus wants to do it now to deny Obama that? Which team is he playing for?

JASON: I've not been able to get my head around Baucus, I must admit. I think threatening the stimulus package now, however, is a moot point. If he can't get the votes now, Obama will have the votes in a couple of months. With the committment shown to this stimulus package and putting infrastructure projects in play, the states can start allocating budget monies right now.

MEGAN: And like the Dems won't waive PAYGO next year? That strains credibility at best.

JASON: The guy who's really made a name for himself on the shit list, is Silvestre Reyes.

MEGAN: Did someone not know he's a dumbass? Though I assume you're talking about his call for Obama to keep McConnell and Hayden as the National Intelligence Director and CIA head, respectively?

JASON: Whoever put him atop the House Intelligence Committee didn't get the memo, and now, per our own Spencer Ackerman, he's pushing for Obama to keep Mike McConnell and Hayden. For the sake of "continuity." Nothing those two men do contribute to any sort of continuity that this country needs.

MEGAN: That "whomever," by the way, was Nancy Pelosi, who ousted Jane Harman despite her being awesome but couldn't put the corrupt Alcee Hastings there. Because they don't like one another.

JASON: I was being coy.

MEGAN: Oh, fuck coy. That was a bad decision.

JASON: Indeed! Check out Reyes position on torture, per Ackerman:

“We don’t want to be known for torturing people. At the same time we don’t want to limit our ability to get information that’s vital and critical to our national security,” he added. “That’s where the new administration is going to have to decide what those parameters are, what those limitations are.”

MEGAN: The limits should be: let's not torture people! Yay! That was easy.

JASON: What this dumbass Reyes needs to get through his thick goddamned skull is that torture VASTLY LIMITS OUR ABILITY TO GET INFORMATION. Meanwhile, it helps to scale up our enemies ability to recruit soldiers to their cause. That leaves us with what, Mr. Reyes? More motherfuckers walking around that you need to torture, I guess? This is all before we get to the part that we have soldiers of our own in the field, who I would rather not see tortured, if you don't mind! Guys like Reyes...sorry...IGNORANT CANDYFUCK DIPSHITS like Reyes, put our fighting men and women in harms' way with their torture-porn pretensions. This guy should be FAR, FAR from the intelligence committee.

MEGAN: But torture is fun! So even if it's completely ineffective, it's, like, revenge.

JASON: You got a House Dumbass Subcommittee on Thumbs Wedged Up Asses, that's fine. Put this fuck Reyes on it.

MEGAN: As long as it's not my thumb.

Jim Moran votes exactly the way I would want my Congressperson to vote — he's pro-choice, he votes the right way on women's issues, he's decent on economic issues (from my perspective — he's fairly conservative), he's anti-war. But, today, for the 4th time, I cast my ballot for Jim Moran's Republican opponent (who, for once, isn't a rabid anti-abortion freak, thanks NoVa Republicans). Why? Because of his personal life.

In June 1999, Mary Moran (née Craig) called Alexandria Police claiming that her husband had hit her. Her husband was, of course, Congressman and former mayor of Alexandria (1985-1990) Jim Moran. Notably, Moran ran for mayor after 2 years as Vice Mayor — a position he was forced to resign as part of a plea deal on bribery charges which, due to his many friends and relationships in the Democratic party, had no effect on his political aspirations or friendships. Mary Moran later refused to testify and divorce papers were filed the next morning instead. Three weeks later, he filed a cross-complaint in their divorce claiming that the marriage broke up over financial problems for which she was supposedly responsible. Yes, when his former wife filed divorce papers because he smacked her around one night, he turned around and blamed the dissolution of the marriage (and, by extension, the argument that precipitated the domestic abuse) on her.

It's not the first or the only time Jim Moran's laid his hands on someone in anger. In 1995, he shoved Randy Cunningham in the House cloakroom (granted, Cunningham is an asshole, but still) and in 2000, he manhandled an 8-year-old African-American boy that was looking at his car. And let's not talk about the time he got caught with a $25,000 interest-free loan from a pharmaceutical company lobbyist, or said "the Jews" were the reason we went into Iraq. He is, quite frankly, an embarrassment to the Democrat establishment, which nonetheless clutches him to their bosom because he's their guy, a member of their party and, thus, not subject to the standards to which we, as Democrats, would certainly hold a Republican challenger.

Jim Moran is a wife-smacking, bribe-taking, black child-shaking anti-Semite that has earned the protection of the local Democratic party as well as many prominent, national Democratic women like Donna Brazile and Patricia Ireland in exchange for voting the "right" way. He gets to be the antithesis of a feminist and to live his personal life in opposition to every supposed ideal of the Democratic party because he'd never vote for a ban on partial-birth abortion or a Constitutional amendment on same sex marriage. Well, great. This "my guy because he's my party" bullshit that I decried yesterday when it came wrapped in the form of National Review Online editor Katherine Jean Lopez is equally abhorrent when practiced by people that I agree with politically and even admire. And if this year, with the Democrats poised to strengthen their majority in the House isn't the year that the feminists — let alone the women — of the Democratic Party are going to be willing to dump this guy (and the other guys like him) or support a primary opponent, then when will it be the year? Why does he get a pass for wife beating — because of Roe v. Wade? Fuck that. Roe isn't getting overturned by a House member, and I'm not voting for a guy that gets away with domestic violence just because he votes for laws to send other men to prison for it. I might find it disturbing that Mark Ellmore's site features a picture of him campaigning with Fred Thompson, but I'm way less disturbed by that then anything Jim Moran's done to women while voting for legislation for us.

Related: Moranic Record [National Review]
James P. Moran [Fox News]
Lawmaker Under Fire For Saying Jews Support Iraq War [CNN]
Mark Ellmore for Congress

Earlier: Peggy Noonan Has A Battle Of Wits With National Review Wingnut

Within 24 hours, I snapped and replied to some unwitting e-mailer that I found the comments disgusting and that what we really needed to think about was who we were trying to convince — and what we were trying to convince those people of. Well, if the polls that show women flocking to the McCain ticket and the response she's engendering from conservatives is any sign, we've convinced some people of one thing — that many feminists are feminist only to other feminists.

Now, naturally, few of these conservatives are exactly noted feminists themselves, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist (or a Wasilla mayor) to smell an opportunity to marginalize feminists or point out hypocrisies obvious enough to drive a wedge between liberal feminists and the very women that many of us have been trying to convince to vote for Barack Obama. Take Michelle Malkin, for example — hardly the kind of opinionated conservabloggier that I tend to agree with. Last week, she pointed out the opprobrium that rained down upon Sarah Palin's head for working late into her pregnancy, returning to work early and staying in a demanding job while parenting a special-needs child. She also pointed out that plenty of it came from female journalists who themselves have children and extremely demanding careers. Of course, she called them hacks and water-carriers for Obama, but that's Malkin for you — and it doesn't make her point less valid or accessible to the women that Obama needs on his side.

Then there's noted feminist scholar Jonah Goldberg, who manages to decry sexism and feminist hypocrisy even as he compares feminists to "stuck pigs" and says that one might resemble "a childless feminist who looks like a Bulgarian weightlifter in drag." But, he also hits up Gloria Steinem's OpEd, Cintra Wilson's screed and professor/columnist Wendy Doniger's truly offensive statement that Palin's "greatest hypocrisy is in her pretense that she is a woman." Because, really, there's no better way to win over independent women voters than to question their gender because of their political or religious beliefs. Women on the left should not be denying one another's womanhood because of disagreements about abortion and religion anymore than we should be allowing men like Rush Limbaugh to decide who is or is not a feminist. The problem with Goldberg's piece is not his glaringly offensive stereotypes and generalizations about feminists, it's that he can say all kinds of offensive things about mannish, childless women and it's still only barely as shocking as a feminist saying a person cannot be a Republican and a woman at the same time. And the latter bit is the only thing that's going to get a lot of traction in Central Pennsylvania, Ohio, Colorado and Michigan among the women that have swung every election for the last two decades.

Libertarian Cathy Young (who really could never annoy me as much as Goldberg or Malkin) writes a far more reasoned and compelling piece today in the Wall Street Journal asking why feminists hate Sarah Palin seemingly beyond reason. She hits some of the same shock quotes as Goldberg before her (and me before him, actually) and says that, from her perspective, Palin's "pro-life feminism [and] small-government, individualist feminism" is more attractive than a kind of feminism that requires government intervention to achieve equality. That's the kind of argument that will play well with independent women voter. It also makes its point about the feminist "hatred" of Palin without reverting to stereotypes about looks and doesn't dismiss the notion that choice is a concern for American women. This is far, far more convincing to the people that need to be convinced — you know, those 30-40 percent of voters in the middle — than arguing that Sarah Palin isn't "really" a woman.

Finally, even Elle's political blogger, Lucy Morrow Caldwell, gets in on the action, chastising South Carolina Democratic Party chairwoman Carol Fowler for saying that Palin's "primary qualification seems to be that she hasn’t had an abortion" (even as she mucks up Fowler's position in the party). Caldwell also says that no one ever suggested about Obama that "his race was the only reason he'd become a candidate in the first place," a statement that is not entirely true, as Geraldine Ferraro no doubt remembers. But few people are going to take the time to point out these inaccuracies in the politics blog of a fashion magazine, and the issue of feminists "bashing" Palin for gendered reasons allows Caldwell to gloss over the part where she herself would be "more cautious [than Palin] on certain foreign policy fronts" in favor of hitting up the mean, mean feminists.

It's not like I don't understand where the anger is coming from. I have heard often enough from liberal women that they don't understand how women can even be Republican...without, of course, ever actually asking one and listening to the answer. I also understand that, in the absence of comprehensive public record of Palin's stances on issues like pay equity or government-funded childcare, it's easy enough to attribute McCain's (bad) stances on those issues to her, especially since, as his running mate, they in effect are her new stances on those issues — and it's easy to conflate hating her positions with hating her as a person. For many women, she seems to be trying to have it both ways, to trumpet her family values and her careerism in a way that Republicans have often bashed other women for doing.

But, most of all, I think the attacks are coming from a place of insecurity that Palin (and all that comes with her) might soften the McCain campaign enough for him to triumph in November. And so if we rail against her, if we play the game of politics by their supposed rules and castigate her for the things conservatives have castigated liberal women for for decades (see: Hillary Clinton) then maybe they won't vote for her and him. The problem is that each party stands by its own hypocrites (see: Congressmen John Mutha and Jim Moran on the left and Senators David Vitter and Larry Craig on the right), so all we're doing by bashing her is inspiring a defense by her ideological compatriots and re-branding feminism as something that defends only liberal women against bias (and that denies a woman's womanliness if she dares to disagree politically, which is straight out of the Republican play book). That's not my feminism and that's not my idea of equality — and, for a lot of moderate women, it's not theirs either.

Polls Show Big Shift To McCain Among White Women [Reuters]
Is Sarah Palin a Feminist? Friday Feminist Fuck NO. [Feministing]
Sisterhood of the Protected Female Liberal Journalists [Michelle Malkin]
Feminist Army Aims Its Canons at Palin [National Review]
All Beliefs Welcome, Unless They are Forced on Others [Newsweek]
Why Feminists Hate Sarah Palin [Wall Street Journal]
Right Angles [Elle]
S.C. Dem Chair: Palin Primary Qualification Is She Hasn't Had An Abortion [Politico]
Ferraro’s Obama Remarks Become Talk of Campaign [NY Times]

MEGAN: Hey, what's up? Is it weird that I'm not hungover but I feel enough out of it that I might as well be?

SPENCER: Can you believe that the District of Columbia revoked my driver's license just because I decided not to pay a ticket that I got in New Jersey a couple months ago?

MEGAN: Quite honestly, kind of. I know other people who have gotten their licenses revoked for that kind of thing. I always winced a little when you mentioned that, but everyone knows I'm a goodie two-shoes except when it comes to D.C. parking tickets. And then I'm a soulless, conscienceless scofflaw.

SPENCER: You, I know, have a system in place for [redacted] when you accumulate tickets. Ingenious

MEGAN: Shhhh. Anyway, so, doesn't it feel to you like this VP picking process has gone on forever? Like they're just playing chicken with one another?

SPENCER: According to Adam "Ad Nags" Nagourney, it all ends as early as tomorrow:

Mr. Obama had not notified his choice — or any of those not selected — of his decision as of late Monday, advisers said. Going into the final days, Mr. Obama was said to be focused mainly on three candidates: Senator Evan Bayh of Indiana, Gov. Tim Kaine of Virginia and Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr. of Delaware.

I say no to Bayh, maybe to Biden, and yes to Kaine. Tell me what you think

MEGAN: Well, I'm on record as feeling like Bayh is just a Washington climber who never, ever wants to have to go back to Indiana, and I'm betting he ends up with a cabinet job, but then I saw this rumor that an Obama staffer said it was him to CNN plus screencap of the now-pulled story and I got a little worried. I have no idea why he'd pick Biden, honestly, I want to believe he's just a red herring. I couldn't believe Kaine would saddle the state with a Republican governor by leaving (who would then get to run for a term of his own, bypassing Virginia's term limit law), but then I remembered he's a politician.

SPENCER: I heard about that. If he picks Bayh, the left will go fucking firecrackers. My friend Max even set up a facebook group against Bayh, and these guys already feel seriously dissed by Obama after FISA.

MEGAN: I miss Sebelius speculation.

SPENCER: Let's talk Kaine in a second. Why would he pick Biden? Biden, writes Jon Cohn in TNR — an honest man at a dishonest magazine — has that foreign policy expertise and that pugilism:

If Biden is the choice, I think it would speak well of Obama's judgment. Biden has a deep and impressive resume: Not only is he the guy who orchestrated the defeat of Robert Bork back in the 1980s, but he can also claim among his legislative accomplishments the Violence Against Women's Act, which is no small feat. He's smart, articulate, and is a bona fide expert on foreign policy: In other words, he's certainly capable of assuming the presidency in an emergency, which is really the most important criteria of all.

Joe Biden also has a good critique of TNR, for that matter. Four years ago I went to interview him for a piece about Kerry's counterterrorism strategy for TNR and he was trying to figure out whether I wanted him to say that Kerry would take a more targeted, al-Qaeda-centric approach or would just kill all the Arabs "Your magazine," he said (this is from memory), "has to figure out whether it's liberal or neoconservative, already."

MEGAN: Ha, this douchebag and his syncophants (one of whom emailed me last night to castigate me, by the way) are suing to get the VAWA thrown out as unconstitutional. Also, I love that he said that to you.

SPENCER: Oh shit i have to read that post! PS, don't fucking Twitter while we're doing Crappy Hour. You forget I'm on your feed!

MEGAN: I was waiting for you to type! I don't dislike Joe Biden, I honestly could see him as Secretary of State, but I really don't think this election is going to be won on foreign policy issues with the economy in the crapper.

SPENCER: Biden: I like the pugilism a lot. Don't expect it to be won on foreign policy. Picking Biden would be to tamp down McCain's only (if you believe the polls) advantage, leaving him with nothing while Obama kicks his ass on the economy

MEGAN: And he's a great speaker. But Delaware? And your friend Jon's right about that bankruptcy bill, that was a huge giveaway to the credit card companies... and sponsored by Arlington Congressman/wife-beater Jim Moran. He'd like me to come to his women's issues forum with Donna Brazile. Maybe if I bring a small, African American child he can smack him for the crowd.

SPENCER: That's a dream, man! I'm really equivocal on Biden. He voted for the war, though he calls it a mistake. In reality, he didn't want to vote for the war, he was terrified of getting smeared as unpatriotic like he did after he voted against the first Gulf War and this was a year after 9/11.

MEGAN: I see your point, but I think Kaine's a trade-up. Plus, bonus Catholic points, since Obama isn't going to win a ton of evangelical votes.

SPENCER: Now: Tim Kaine. I know nothing about him and like him!

MEGAN: That's pretty much Tim Kaine's advantage right there.

SPENCER: He's white and dimply and Virginian and I guess kind of liberal and didn't vote for the Iraq war, so that works for me. You, my friend, are the Virginia resident among us, so make the case. How liberal is he?

MEGAN: The eyebrows are killer, though. With all the smack Sebelius took for her response to the State of the Union, I can't believe no one brought up his.

SPENCER: A bunch of activists on a listserv I'm on seem to think he's unacceptably less-than-deep-blue.

MEGAN: He's a serious Catholic, I'm guessing that freaks some liberals out. But he's a serious Catholic seriously personally opposed to capital punishment who nonetheless denies clemency requests to prove that the Pope ain't the boss of him, or something, so I don't love that about him. That part makes me miss Mario Cuomo.

SPENCER: How is he as a governor?

MEGAN: I mean, I think he's been a pretty decent politician, the legislature here is pretty right-wing and he's successfully pushed stuff through and kept crap from going through. He's been pretty good on transportation issues, which are huge up here in NoVa, but were he not on the short list, I would guess that he'd be remembered as a serviceable but not spectacular governor unless he does something crazy at the end of his term.

SPENCER: Yeah, northern VA is all wine-swilling assholes like you. Jesus CHRIST if I make my Windy deadline this morning it'll be a miracle...

MEGAN: Actually, if Obama takes Virginia and Colorado, he can lose Florida or Ohio. And, I'm sorry, McCain's best feint on getting a Virginian on the ticket was Eric Cantor, so...

SPENCER: HAHAHAHAHA if McCain has to get a Virginian it will speak desperation. Not like the bravery of choosing Joe Lieberman!

[McCain's] top contenders are said to include Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney. Less traditional choices mentioned include former Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge, an abortion-rights supporter, and Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, the Democratic vice presidential prick in 2000 who now is an independent.

MEGAN: I'm actually amazed that there's not a single Southerner on McCain's short list.

SPENCER: Joe, Joe, Joe! Make the GOP ticket the most jowly of all time! If McCain goes with Lieberman, I reverse my choice and hope Obama picks Biden, just because Biden will tear the living shit out of Lieberman in any debate.

MEGAN: Oh, fuck yeah, that would be popcorn and beer time watching that! At what point in the race do you think Lieberman would start undermining McCain the way he did Al Gore?

SPENCER: Not even SLIGHTLY and here's why. Lieberman is animated by the classic neoconservative grievance of rejection by his first love, the Democratic Party. Jacob Heilbrunn's book goes into this pathology in detail. And honestly, I have to admit I understand it, given my inability to let go of this whole TNR shit. That's why Lieberman has been such an eager attack dog for the right ever since he lost his primary in 2006 — he wants, and wants badly, to redress what the left did to him. He's not actually rightwing. He's anti-anti-left, and ferociously so.

MEGAN: Well, you know, if you want to be a hawk, don't expect a bunch of doves to come flocking to you.

SPENCER: He's obsessed with his own transcendent righteousness. Whatever, if Obama is going to tell me who the pick is by texting me, then McCain will announce his pick by telegraph-machine. A cavalcade of whimsy!