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Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Are Maybe Getting Married This Weekend 

The sweet, sweet romance of Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher — a love that survived episode after torturous episode of That 70s Show—might finally be official under the eyes of the state and god. Somebody says that the couple is getting married this weekend at the private home of Guy Oseary, a venture capitalist who is… » 7/04/15 10:35am 7/04/15 10:35am

You Did It, Jim Carrey: US Confirms First Measles Death In Over a Decade

Fans of Jim Carrey, his ex Jenny McCarthy, and any other anti-vaxxer out there will be pleased to learn that their efforts to keep children safe has paid off. While these fearless warriors were out there protesting California’s mandatory vaccination law, a woman quietly died of measles. But you know, it was probably… » 7/03/15 12:30pm 7/03/15 12:30pm

Jim Carrey's Twitter Rant Exposes Marketing Campaign for Anti-Vax Film

Jim Carrey had himself a good solid multi-part Twitter meltdown on Wednesday, ranting about vaccines containing harmful levels of thimerosal, an organic compound that contains mercury. (They don’t.) Carrey got his non-facts from a documentary called Trace Amounts, which, as the Hollywood Reporter points out, has been… » 7/02/15 11:10am 7/02/15 11:10am

More Serious Issues Public Health Expert Jim Carrey Should Weigh In On 

This great country of ours is in the midst of a very contentious debate about whether vaccines are necessary (yes, God dammit, yes), a debate in which America’s greatest celebrity minds have added their voices. Last night, actor Jim Carrey really went for it. Good Lord, did he go for it. After his mini-tirade on the… » 7/01/15 10:30am 7/01/15 10:30am

​Jim Carrey and Kate McKinnon Recreate Sia's "Chandelier" Music Video

Last night Jim Carrey hosted SNL with Iggy Azalea as a musical guest, and things probably went as expected. Jim Carrey made some funny faces and did some funny voices, Jeff Daniels showed up because they're promoting the sequel of that movie they made 20 years ago, and the digital short was probably the best part of… » 10/26/14 12:46pm 10/26/14 12:46pm

Drake's Penis Is 'Weird, Thin, and Pointy,' Says Future Shakespeare

Today is the day that I read several conflicting accounts about the shape of Drake's celebrity penis and what he likes people to do or not do with his butthole while he touches said controversially shaped penis. Today is also the day that I realized that every other non-today day of my life has been wasted. » 7/14/14 8:00pm 7/14/14 8:00pm

J.Lo Should Have Googled Dictator Before Singing at His Birthday Show

Jennifer Lopez — or at least her PR team — is super sorry that she "graciously obliged" to perform a private concert for the catchily-named President of Turkmenistan Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow, an oppressive, torture-endorsing, Human Rights Watch-provoking, war mongering dictator and Jennifer Lopez fan. A Team Lopez… » 7/01/13 9:00am 7/01/13 9:00am

Taylor Swift: 'There's a Special Place in Hell for Women Who Don't Help Other Women'

"As she sits drinking lavender lemonade,*" Taylor Swift tells Vanity Fair that everyone—including, and especially, other ladies in Hollywood—needs to shut the fuck up about how many penises are/may be in orbit around her: » 3/05/13 9:00am 3/05/13 9:00am

and will be married in Hawaii in a few weeks, but she does not want to do it in his old fuck den:

Jennifer Lawrence Flips Off the Press Room and More Gossip from the Oscars

While you were staggering home in a prosecco haze, celebrities were still out partying, and here's some post-Oscar nuggets for you to munch on. Okay, so yeah, Jennifer Lawrence fell down on her way to collect her Best Actress Oscar. We can perhaps attribute this to her previous confession that she was planning to get … » 2/25/13 9:00am 2/25/13 9:00am

Jim Carrey’s Rubber Face Has Finally Returned in The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Ever since Jim Carrey spoke out of his asshole in the Ace Ventura films, the world has (rightly) put its faith in his comedic stylings. Lately, it seems that movie audiences have grown tired of Carrey's elastic face, which is a shame because it's a national treasure. For Canada. The first trailer for The Incredible… » 12/22/12 3:30pm 12/22/12 3:30pm

Vanity Fair's Comedy Issue Covers Have Equal Numbers of Men and Women

The January edition of Vanity Fair is the "first ever comedy issue," guest-edited by Judd Apatow. There are three different covers, featuring groups of comedians. Unlike the April 2009 issue of VF — "Comedy's New Legends" — there are actual women on these covers. In fact, the editors chose six men and six women to… » 12/04/12 11:00am 12/04/12 11:00am

Adele's Newborn Baby Welcomed to World by Hateful Twitter Trolls

Holy shit. Remember that time you had faith in people? Well, it was unmerited and undeserved, because—like a modern day version of the Rumplestiltskin tale—just hours after Adele popped out her kid, Twitter trolls went after her and the baby for literally no reason. Not that there would ever be a good reason, but you… » 10/22/12 9:00am 10/22/12 9:00am

Taylor Swift Cheats on a Kennedy With a Schwarzenegger

This is probably, prrrrrobably not true, but feelings-haver Taylor Swift may have made an enemy of Camelot by attempting to collect Kennedy boys like Pokémon. Apparently Tay-Tay made out with Patrick Schwarzenegger at a family event she attended with her boyfriend Conor Kennedy, and the whole clan except Conor is… » 10/10/12 9:00am 10/10/12 9:00am