• "Designer" Heidi Montag to design own dress for "wedding" to "fiance" Spencer Pratt. How much cleavage will she show? [Just Jared]
• Further evidence that Project Runway's going down the tubes: LiLo's gonna guest-judge on Lifetime. [NY Mag]
• Dolce & Gabbana make bff Naomi "Siddhartha" Campbell their official muse. [Mail on Sunday]
• WTF? Why is Juliette Lewis walking in Milan? Granted, for a label called "Miss Bikini Luxe." [WWD]
• Cavalli, watch your back: Paris Hilton's latest line has hit Milan. Apparently it featured "baby pink, dog print T-shirts and sequins." [Daily Mail]

• Milan shows open with a plus-size line! We love Italy. [Telegraph]
• Even though they just bought a huge stake in Narciso Rodriguez, like, yesterday, now Liz Claiborne hates them and they're apparently parting ways. Short version. [WWD]
• OMG! Simon Doonan's memoirs about growing up stylish in a dysfunctional family are being turned into a BBC series! [Independent]
• Looks like fast fashion is over. [IHT]
• Project Runway finalist Jillian is Team Leanne FTW. [NY Mag]
• Model Jodie Kidd rebounds after that unfortunate drug sting. "She's in love too, with mature student Thomas George, which perhaps accounts for the glow currently illuminating those famous features." [Daily Mail]
• European shoemakers rebel against EU duties. [Reuters]
• Australia calls for "urgent development of a new national sizing standard." Maybe they have Banana Republic over there, too? [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Agyness in V: "The stunning set of black and white shots, that appear to take an almost anti-fashion stance, portray a topless Agyness in nothing more than a string of pearls, classic black underwear and a nude leotard." "Anti-fashion" meaning, "anti-clothes"...? [Daily Mail]
• Five years after the trend, Juicy Couture finally introduces a plus-size line. [The Budget Fashionista]
• Frustrated by frumpy Capitol Hill looks and gaping blouses, a lobbyist turns to fashion. [NPR]
• We've expressed our distaste for NY Times fashion writer Cathy Horyn before. Here she is on Milan: "Andre Leon Talley and Michael Roberts wanted to show me their outfits as soon as I’d said hello to Roberto Rimondi and Tommaso Aquilano. Andre and Michael each flashed open his overcoat to show they were wearing matching gray sweat shorts and a sort of grayish polo shirt. Andre’s luggage (I can’t imagine how many pieces that means) hadn’t arrived and he demanded fashion solidarity from Michael." [NY Times]
• We have expressed our love for the absurd Roberto Cavallli. Here he is on his recession-era fashion line: "The story of a trip that started in the colonial day and has yet to be finished." [FT]
• Nestle unveils a "beauty drink." Quik-flavored?! [Cosmetic News]
• Even in tough economic climes, luxury "pioneers" must embrace risky markets. [IHT]
• MAC suggests makeup looks for Palin, Michelle, Cindy. Um, thx? [Beauty Snob]
• Mohammed Al Fayed's daughter Jasmine is a hot young designer at Harrods. But doesn't her dad own the store? [Independent]
• Italy finally embraces online sales. [IHT]
• Metrosexuals have evolved into creepy fashionistos. Allegedly. [Daily Mail]
• So I guess someone will buy model Jamie Strachan's men's jewelry line. [VogueUK]

Earlier: Project Runway Finale: I Remind You That Victoria Motherfucking Beckham Is Here

10:58: Awwwww: Tim is gonna cry. I think Tim really does feel very close to Christian. This is the sweetest, most genuine winning ever.

10:57: I am gonna cry! This is so sweet and heartfelt.

10:56: Don't let it be Rami. Don't let it be Rami. Don't let it be Rami.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S CHRISTIAN. He is crying.

Aw, and Rami is being so sweet and gracious. Holy fucking shit, did I just see tears in Posh's eyes????

10:54: Ugh, why is Heidi again going on about Rami?!

Jillian is OUT. That's sad. I am heartbroken that they think RAMI is better than JILLIAN.

10:53: Okay, and we're back from commercial. I am sweating bullets. Seriously.

Ed note: Hey guys, it's Jen, not Jess, who is live-blogging.

10:49: Oooooh but Nina thinks Rami has a bad sense of color! Interesting!

Ahhhhhh! It's time!

10:48: Nina is such a hater when it comes to Jillian. I wonder if Nina just hates women. But Nina's in love with Christian. And so is Posh, but we all knew that. Thank God Kors is there, the voice of reason.

Kors called Rami cerebral?! I take it back about him being the voice of reason.

10:47: Heidi loved Rami? If he wins, I cry. And not tears of joy.
If he wins, it will be even worse than when Chloe won over Daniel in season 2. UNACCEPTABLE.
DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME JUDGES. Jesus, do they have anything mean to say to Rami????

I like how Posh's accent is sorta hick. Ha.

10:46: Oooh Kors said looks monotonous?! And Nina agrees?! Whoah.
I did not see this coming. Why I love Posh: It was monotonous, but it was my style, so I was ok with that.
Um, that's fucking brilliant.

10:44: Ooh — good for Heidi for commending Jillian for trying new shapes.
Oy, Nina's the only judge who didn't like. But I do agree with Nina and Michael, Jillian is the queen of knitwear.

10:43: I like how they all say "Bravo," echoing the name of the channel on which they air.

Totes obvious that Jillian stuck with inspiration from Met challenge. Ooh Posh liked it! I swear I get excited just hearing Victoria speak.

10:42: Wow — Nina seems genuinely impressed. I worked with her. I don't think she could fake it if she actually wasn't impressed. (Which is a strength, I think.)

10:41: I love how Heidi always puts things in a question: "How amazing was the show?"

10:38: Uh, Elizabeth Berkley is hosting some pole-dancing competition reality show? She can't be serious.

10:37: Jay McCarroll thinks Rami's going to win? Um, this is why Jay's career has gone nowhere. Oy, so does Uncle Nick?! What is wrong with them???

10:36: Posh is eating this up. She's like a pig in shit. She and Christian should collaborate together.

10:35: His collection is amazing. And I can totally see Posh in all of it. He may do the same thing over and over again (puffy sleeve jacket, skinny pants), but he does it really well. I wonder why he never got called out for that...

Ugh this pants with zipper crotch are bad though. And how come they never call his stuff costume-y?
It's not exactly, ahem, "street" wear.

10:34: Aw, Christian is so cute and casual. And that was sorta cute how he said to the crowd "everybody looks fierce". Shameless plug: The music for Christian's show is by friend-of-Jezebel Brad Walsh!

10:32: Rami's collection looks so, so bad on TV. His family looks proud though. And that gold dress is amazing. But the separates are rubbish. That man from Jerusalem can only do eveningwear. He's this season's Austin Scarlett.

10:30:Rami's little speech about celebrating women is just as dumb this time around.

And so is his collection. It looks dated and weird. Don't like.

10:25: And seriously, I wouldn't wear that ruffled miniskirt, but I would wear almost everything else.And the insane hats are, well, sorta insane. But also sorta awesome. It's so much fun seeing this again! I love her evening look, with the corset. Want.

10:24: Aw Jillian: Love her little sweater dress. Seeing her collection on TV, I feel you get a more nouveau Ralph/Perry Ellis sensibility. I think she really has what it takes to be the new face of American sportswear.

10:23: Heidi is so cute and...babbly Her Kate Moss haircut is so hot.

10:22:And yet, he still finds time to hairspray his hair one last time.
Sigh. This is why I've grown to love him. When the going gets tough, use more hairspray. It's all so....Steel Magnolias.

10:21: Holy shit — two missing models for Christian. How is he staying so calm when two of his models haven't shown? They would be scraping me off the floor. Hell, my heart is racing just watching it.

10:20: The way Rami styled his models' hair is FUG. What the fuck is up with that weird braid twisting round their skulls? Egads, as Tim would say.

10:19: Haha, the camera just showed the seat I sat in. Empty, mind you, but my seat.

10:18: Tim just said they are an inspiration to him. Life goal: Be an inspiration to Tim Gunn.

If Jillian's curling iron and Christian's flat iron had a battle, who would win? Discuss.

10:17: One last "gather round" with Tim. I might cry. I think Tim is going to cry! If Tim cries, I will bawl.

10:16: Jillian is ensuring her models' hair gets curled — she really is going to style them like herself. Um, does Jillian realized she sounds a little racist? Saying how she's going to have to learn to accept diversity? That ain't good. This breaks my heart because I was pulling for her. And now...now I might have to root for Ferocia Coutura.

10:13: Um, how cute is Uncle Nick from Season 2 in his Saturn commercial? Just saying. Jillian has gone off the deep end. She is like Norman Bates as his mom at the end of Psycho, the way she's talking to herself.

Whoah! Rami just turned on his hag Jillian! He called her annoying! No he didn't!!!

10:09: Jillian is _seriously_ having a meltdown. Maybe this is Ferocia Coutura's real power: Rendering other designers unable to successfully cast a runway show?

10:08: Oh God: That is so Christian — "It's not about comfort, ladies!" I think Christian wants to torture women. And by torture I mean....make them look like him. But snaps for his confession that he wore the heels he got for his models around his apartment.

10:07: I am worried about Jillian: If she can't handle the sight of two models in the same room how will she ever go on to, y'know, have a career? And, um, function in society?

10:05: Christian wants "dark-skinned girls." Is he trying to end the white out??? God bless that little fashion imp! Also, love that he continues to style his models to look like himself. For that matter, Jillian is doing that to her models too.

10:04; Ooh: Fighting during model casting?! I can only hope.

10:03: Tim is oddly silent with Christian. Christian is nervous. I am nervous.

10:02: Tim just hated on that crazy stripe-y sweater with pom-pom sleeves that I loved so much at the runway show. OH MY GOD — does Tim think I have bad taste? If so, I can't live with myself. And Tim likes Rami's collection? God is dead.

10:01: I love that Jillian asked Christian and Rami to approve her hair. That was cute; it's why I love Jillian. Ha — Rami thinks Christian looks afraid. As if! Christian ain't afraid of no one! He's Ferocia Coutura, bitches!

Christian is really talented. Bratty and immature, yes, but also really talented. His look, based on a painting of a male Spanish soldier/nobleman and his black jodhpurs and ginormous white blouse and vest combo, was very, to borrow a classic Nina-ism, "editorial". It was beautifully made. It was dramatic. And though it was sorta crazy and super bold, it was somehow still wearable. Also, Roberto Cavalli, whose sentences had to be subtitled because his accent is indecipherable, said that he could tell it was made with love. It made no sense, and yet it rang true! Christian won and is off to Fashion Week! After seeing his show last week, I suspect his entire collection was based on this painting, too. He is clearly the one to beat.

Also going to Bryant Park is queen of my heart, Jillian. I love this girl! Her outfit was based on a painting of the Argonauts at battle and I thought she had the most interesting, wearable, fashion-forward look of the bunch. In a way, her piece was more inventive than Christian's, because it showed you don't have to make a shirt the size of a pup tent to do something bold and attention-getting. Also? The dress, the jacket? Hot. You have to love Jillian's humility: The way she finally told Christian that she just couldn't deal with him and his attitude; the way she told Tim how lucky she felt to be a part of this process; the way she graciously said, "That would be an honor" when Mr. Cavalli told her he'd love to have her on his staff; and the way she genuinely thanked the judges when they informed her she would also be showing in Bryant Park. Jillian+Jen4Eva.

Sweet P is out of the running. Who among us did not see this coming? She's a real sweet lady. But she's out of her league on this show. As I stated last week, maybe she could just open a cupcake shop instead? I'm not sure if fashion is her destiny, even if her decoy show in Bryant Park last week was more impressive than I expected. Her inspiration? A painting of a peacock. She made a "eh, wearable" dress (as Michael Kors put it) that had little to do with the panting and even less to do with exciting design. It did, however, garner this laugh-out-loud comment from Roberto Cavalli: "What is more fantasy than peacock tail?"

Then, in the weirdest stunt ever pulled on this show, Heidi informed Rami and Chris March that the judges were split on which one of them should be out and which of them should proceed to Fashion Week. So she said that the day before the show, they would each have to present the judges with their three strongest looks, and then the judges would decide who would be in and who would be out. Which is bullshit: Why not just let both of them show? What point, other than debasing my beloved Project Runway with Survivor-type gambits, is there to this system if the whole point of the finale is that their final runway collections are evaluated? I call Bullshit.

Rami, unsurprisingly, did something draped. In all fairness, they did turn him loose in the Greek and Roman sculpture court. But then they ripped him a new one during judging, telling him all he does is make pretty and wearable clothes but that he makes the same stuff every single week and that he has to stop draping. Rami responded by (sorta) screaming, "What's wrong with draping? What's so bad about draping?" Awkward! Then Roberto Cavalli got fresh and told Rami that he needs to do more to prove why he should be in this competition; I feared Rami was going to pull a Santino-going-postal-on-Nina. Scary.

Then there's Chris March. I just love him, because I think he's a nice guy and is, thankfully, the biggest jolt of personality we've seen this season. His dress was very pretty and dramatic and — another favorite Nina-ism! — expensive-looking. But as the judges pointed out, Chris's dress, based on a painting of a French noblewoman, bore an uncanny resemblance to the couture dress that he had made with Christian a few weeks prior. This made Chris cry. But Chris also cried happy tears when Roberto Cavalli said that the dress was his favorite and that he expected to see Chris show in Paris at couture in the very near future. But I thought Tim Gunn was going to cry when he discovered Chris napping while the others were working. There is no napping on Project Runway. You work, you freak, you fight with the other contestants, you freak some more, you get back to work. But you don't nap. It's disrespectful and arrogant on Christian-like proportions. Chris, you broke my heart a little with this one.

Next week: The reunion special, where surely, Ricky will cry and Kevin will tell everyone how straight he is again, but in the meantime: Who wins the Rami vs. Chris battle???? I'm not going to be able to sleep for two weeks.

At last: Chris March wins! I mean, if the master of all things campy can't win a fucking women's wrestling challenge, well... he can and he did. Anyway, the best part about Chris's win is that he was the only one who didn't seem to be judging the challenge or the woman who served as his client. He loved her, she client loved him, and they both loved leopard print. Also, big snaps to Chris for calling attention to the fact that his co-designers would be a lot more excited about this challenge if the outfits were to be worn by men. Which raises an excellent question: Why hasn't there ever been a drag challenge on this show? (And why do I feel like Michael Kors would be excited to judge it?)

I have to admit that I would've been okay had Christian won this week; his Prince-inspired leather and lace combo was, to use his favorite word, fierce. In fact, Christian himself admitted that the design was his favorite of everything he'd designed all season. Also: What's not to love about spandex pleather chaps?

Another favorite design? Jillian's. Plus, the footage of Jillian watching DVDs of women's wrestling and grunting, hollering and cheering along with it? Amazing. And just like Richie Rich of Heatherette (Rich and co-designer Trevor Raines were last night's guest judges), I love booty shorts. And apparently, so does Nina Garcia, who championed Jillian's look as her favorite.

Oy; where to begin? I am sick and tired of witnessing Rami freak out every time a challenge isn't suited to his "design sensibility". At least he didn't mention that he's from Jerusalem and blame that on his being too fashion-forward to comprehend such a basic task.

Sweet P. could not have sucked any more this week. She got to work with the reigning WWE Diva champ, a self-described "sex kitten," and all she could think of was a look that Tim Gunn described as "Eva Gabor in Green Acres," (I'd call it more Plan 9 From Outer Space). Regardless, the outfit was not only uninspired but poorly constructed. She should just give up on fashion design and open up a cupcake shop. Also, what was up with her challenging Christian to an arm wrestle? And is it wrong that I loved that he kicked her ass?

Lastly, there was Ricky, who made an orange bathing suit. Oh, and a lame-ass cover-up that was accurately described as a "disco hair-cut smock." Honestly: A bathing suit? Nothing else? And did anyone else find it ironic that the one week that Ricky didn't cry he also lost? Maybe he needs to take a page from Hillary Clinton. (Kidding. Kidding!!)

Proof there is no God: Ricky won a challenge! (So unacceptable on so many levels.) While staring slack-jawed at the screen after his win, a friend who works in design for one of the major American designers, said, "My God, that looks like Sweetface." ("Sweetface" = J. Lo's clothing line = Not Good.) The only good part of Ricky's win? The fact that is that the praise bestowed on him made him cry. It was amazing. But, with any luck, Ricky will finally be out next week. Bitch and his hats have got to go.


Onto who should've won this week: Rami. Though his cry-baby attitude last week was a total turn-off, the denim look he created week was a major turn-on. Something about it just screamed "naughty flight attendant," which is, truth be told, one of my favorite strangely-cliched design looks. He was the only one, I felt, who really did anything with the materials given last night. I was crazy for the look. I was not crazy, however, about Rami blaming every little thing on the fact that he was raised in Jerusalem. "I'm not an American designer," he bitched while bare-chested, save for a small cross around his neck, "I was raised in Jerusalem! Three major religions are fighting one another there!"


Christian managed to make pant legs out of jacket sleeves and behave like like an irrepressible egomaniac. And he was mean to Chris March, saying, "I know a lot more than you do." Also, have you noticed how he puts a princess-seamed sleeve on everything he makes? If I were in charge, I would put Rami on draping restriction and Christian on princess seam and ruffle detail restriction. As Christian would say, "Makes me feel barfy."


I would be wrong in neglecting to praise Sweet P for her ability to bail herself out of trouble, which she did with great aplomb last night. Although she wanted to make a denim patchwork maxi-dress (see earlier posts on additional reasons why it's probable that Sweet P has dropped a little too much acid),Tim told her how to fix it, and she did, for once.


Mr. March was not fine form. He made a halter dress that looked, simply, sad. (Perhaps he was just off his game after being mocked?) No matter: Sad design = sad judges = sad viewers.


Speaking of sad, Jillian really took the cake by making a coat and concurrently having something resembling a minor breakdown. And these weren't just Ricky-style crocodile tears; they were dangerous to oneself or others kind of tears. (She also claimed she kept poking herself with needles. Um, draw your own conclusions.)



Lastly: Victorya. After behaving like a royal bitch all season and taking all the credit for Jillian's design last week, she got dropped from the show like a hot potato. But not before taking a denim jacket and sewing a skirt to it, which, in short, sucked. As did her behavior post-boot: She didn't even have the decency to hug the others goodbye or even say goodbye after Tim told her she needed to go to the workroom and clean up her space. The only person who seemed sad to see her go was Christian: But of course it takes a bitch to know one.

Words I never thought I would say: I was thrilled that Christian won. I was so charmed by his work this week that I was able to keep myself from throwing things at my TV when he proclaimed in the workroom, "If I were a diva, my name would be FEROSH!" — yes, as in ferocious. Sigh. The avant-garde look that he and Chris designed was on a whole other level than anything any of the other designers had conceived: It was sophisticated and directional and creative and artistic and beautifully constructed. Chris and Christian should go into business together; Chris's background in costume design brings the imagination and playfulness that Christian's couture-aspiring looks so desperately need. Michael Kors was rendered speechless for once, which is just about the highest compliment you can get on this show. I agree with Tim Gunn (note to self: always agree with Tim Gunn) that their r-t-w look was sorta cheap-looking, but I'll excuse it just this once.

Rami was grouchy this week. He could barely hide his disdain at being paired with Sweet P, and did even less to conceal the look on his face that screamed "Oh By The Way: I Think You're An Idiot And Have Bad Taste To Boot" every time the poor woman opened her mouth. Sweet P, who could give Ricky a run for his money when it comes to turning on the waterworks, was so distressed and weepy that even her model tried to console her. Fortunately, no bad deed was left unpunished and Rami found himself in the bottom two, as the judges questioned his bad attitude, his taste level, and his ability to do anything other than drape. They also gave major props to the r-t-w look — designed and constructed by Sweet P. I was happy to see the possibly-bipolar chick get some positive feedback.

The other look in the top two this week was designed by Jillian and Victorya. I'm not gonna lie, I was worried, 'cause they both have an "I'm more sophisticated than you" air and they're both slow at construction. But the girlies pulled through (even if, whoops, they didn't have their r-t-w look ready until the morning of the runway show) and made a crazy fierce jacket straight out of The Matrix and twisted jockey pants, detailed with unexpected tartan (they also used the plaid in their ready-to-wear look, a black dress both punky and lady-like). Victorya took the leadership credit, but lovely, overly-medicated genius Jillian was really the mastermind. Nina Garcia looked like she was going to orgasm, she was so into both of these looks, only lending more evidence to my suspicion that Nina is really into S&M.

Last but not least? Our losers, Ricky and Kit. The duo made a poor man's Scarlett O'Hara dress, complete with hoop skirt. It was ridiculous. So was their r-t-w look: Lolita on foodstamps. (And not in a good way.) In the end, the judges sent Kit home and not Ricky, and the fact that Ricky's around for one more week, makes me want to Auf myself.