So. Jil Sander is selling a brown paper bag. It is made of coated paper, with brown stitching on the sides. It differs from your average lunch sack in that it has a Jil Sander logo on one side — and it costs $290.

"Raf Simonsto leave Jil Sander. Show on Saturday to be his last." So Tweeted New York Times critic Cathy Horyn this morning at 8:53. By 9:04, the official statement was out and Horyn's post was up: Simons, the popular and critically acclaimed Jil Sander designer would leave the house on Monday, just after presenting…

• Khloe Kardashian, her late, lamented red hair, and a mask apparently made of plastic packing straps and a packet of studs from the nearest Michaels star on the cover of NY skate shop Yellow Rat Bastard's in-store mag, YRB. [Racked]

• Nicki Minaj is on the cover of V, looking like a sort of Keith Haring painting come to life. She's so wild, that Nicki Minaj! And lest you think there's some crafty behind-the-scenes Svengali calling the stylistic shots, Minaj says:

• Rachel Zoe is seven months pregnant, and in possession of a brand-new fashion line. She has a new assistant, and gets followed around by a team of 20 for her Bravo show. Also, she's having a boy. But the clothes:

• Supposedly Brad Goreski left Rachel Zoe's employ because he was on the cover of the Times Style section during fashion week and Rachel Zoe must be the star of everything. Further proof the Style section ruins everything. [PopEater]

• Marion Cotillard was shot, and apparently not retouched, by Bruce Weber for the cover of Italian Vanity Fair. Certainly it's preferable to that hackjob of a Vogue cover she was subjected to, but isn't the pose a bit awkward? [HuffPo]

• Rachel Bilson, the new Sunglass Hut "style director," posed for pictures in, you guessed it, sunglasses. "It's fun to wear [aviators] with something a little more dressy because it adds a little edge to your outfit," opines the actress. [People]

• Calvin Klein confirmed Lara Stone is the new face of its main brand, Calvin Klein Jeans, and ck Calvin Klein for fall. Stone will walk no other runways, and appear in no other advertising campaigns for the fall season. [WWD]

Today, the Gap is unveiling a very beige trio of capsule collections from the winners of this year's Vogue/CFDA Fashion Fund awards. So how did Patrik Ervell, Sophie Théallet, and jewelry designer Monique Péan do?

• "I don't give a fuck about red carpets, and I never do them," lies Gaga. "I don't like them. First of all — how could any of these outfits possibly look good with an ugly red carpet under them?" [ToL]

• SJP on Carrie's style influence: "I've never revealed as much or been so daring or made quite as many triumphant mistakes as Carrie. But I'm now bolder than I would have been had I never played this part." [People]

• Naomi Campbell taped an episode of Oprah. It must be tremendously comforting to be able to confess one's blood-diamond-mongering sins with warlords to Oprah's stern-but-spiritual countenance. Oprah also extracted from Campbell a pledge to stop throwing phones. [WWD]

Memo to the gossip creep's ghostwriter: Jil Sander has not actually worked at the company that bears her name since 2004. Screengrabs after the jump:

• Abercrombie & Fitch was named one of America's worst companies by Corporate Responsibility Magazine. Weight Watchers also earned the dubious plaudit. [NYTimes]
• The new L'Officiel is a tribute to Alexander McQueen, and includes over 1000 photos of his work. [DesignScene]

Be thankful if you still have a job: After the hell year that was 2009, a lot of fashion people don't. Many designers were fired, some were hired, and plenty lost their businesses altogether. An overview of the tumult:

• Laura Ingraham is auctioning Sarah Palin's fleece from her Going Rogue cover. Let's take up a collection and shoot a real Going Vogue. [Facebook]
• Givenchy was the winning bidder for Audrey Hepburn's How To Steal A Million LBD. [WWD]

• Whitney Port isn't in Kell On Earth. And on Lauren Conrad: "We still keep in touch on a friendship level. But in terms of fashion we don't really talk about it anymore because we're not in the same arena." [PopEater]

Consider the curious case of Christian Lacroix: A wildly influential designer who never turned a profit. A master of color who never did a makeup line. A couturier who never made an it-bag. Here's what might befall him in bankruptcy.