crappy holidays
The economy may be in the crapper, but Christmas is
not cancelled. And maybe celebrating with lights, ornaments and food in the middle of winter is actually a good thing. Or at least, that's what the people at Bronner's want you to think. The
New York Times sent style reporter Guy Trebay to the Bronner's "CHRISTmas" Wonderland in Frankenmuth, Michigan,
where he got lost amongst the "the John Deere tree skirts, the reindeer-pattern Kringle Kozies slipper socks and the miniature Mexican Nativity in a nutshell."
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the gift that keeps on giving
Victoria Watts is 23, a single mother of two and a "renewed virgin." She had sex for the first time when she was 16, but always felt guilty about bumpin' uglies outside of marriage. She says the first time you have sex with a husband is "one of the greatest fulfillments" in a woman's life. "My [future] husband deserves a whole person." Jesus Christ.
Literally! Watts is the granddaughter of a pastor and the daughter of an assistant pastor. (So it's through prayer that she's a virgin again.)
Writes Brian Alexander: "But is it really possible to reclaim your virginity? If it is, what does it mean to be a virgin in the first place? And what does it mean to 'lose' one's virginity?" Good questions! If it's lost, can it be found? Leave it to the Pregnancy Resource Center of Northeast Ohio (where Watts now works) to sum up what it means to have sex before marriage: Its
website asks, "Have you already unwrapped the priceless gift of virginity and given it away?" (Uh, yes. Tore off the paper and ribbons and played with it 'til it just about broke, just like kids do on Christmas morning!)
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purity dolls
We all sort of
agree that Bratz dolls are a wee bit skanky. Guess what? There's an antidote to the fishnet-wearin', pouty-puckered little wenches, thank the Lord. No, really. Thank Him! Because instead of playing with mini-skirted, ethnically ambiguous baby bimbos, kids can play with a chick who got pregnant but swears she never had sex. Her name's Mary! CNN reports that Wal-Mart is
testing bible action figures. Because some of the toys they make today? Holy crap!
'If you're very religious, it's a battle for your children's minds and what they're playing with and pretending. There are remakes out there of Satan and evil things.'
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