jessicacutler - Jezebel

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Did Someone Forget To Tell Jessica Cutler She's Not Allowed To Be Happy?
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Did All That Whoring Make 'Washingtonienne' Jessica Cutler A Kind Of Genius?

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yvanehtnioj
12/10/08

In reply to
The cake was delicious, her suit was lovely, everyone was in a great mood, and it was fun.
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AthertonMerriweather
12/10/08

In reply to
I wonder if she'll have to live on less than $25k/year...
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BlondeGrlz
12/10/08

In reply to
I hope that ass shaped cake ends up on Crack Wrecks, I mean, Cake Wrecks. I also hope it had chocolate filling.
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LaComtesse
12/10/08

@BlondeGrlz is having a BlondeBoyz!: Hahaha... ew... e-...eeeeeew! :-p Knew I could count on my fellow-floofy-white-dresser to make me smile on this thread.
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LaComtesse
12/10/08

In reply to
LaFemme-- I think my favorite part about that moment on 'Girls Next Door' was when Holly kept ooo-ing "It looks JUST LIKE IT."

Ummm... yeah, Holly. It's a mold. It's an exact replica. It would be weirder if it looked different... ... you... still don't get how this works, do you?
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morninggloria
12/10/08

In reply to
Getting a cake shaped like an ass would dredge up some negative memories for me, as my ass used to be shaped like a cake.
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pantsless economist...access RESTORED
12/10/08

@morninggloria: but shaped like what kind of cake? sheet cake? wedding cake? angel food with the hole in the center? You must have had such a difficult time finding pants.
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morninggloria
12/10/08

@pantsless economist: Three tiered wedding cake.
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Eeva
12/10/08

In reply to
Well, you can't spell wedding without a-s-s! Oh wait, you can.
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Macloserboy
12/10/08

In reply to
Why give this coverage to someone who has admitted girl-on-girl crime?
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hamburgerhotdog
12/10/08

@Macloserboy: You're so judgy! ;)

I consider stealing expensive cosmetics the pinnacle of girl-on-girl crime. May she be waterboarded with La Mer.
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Annabellie
12/10/08

In reply to
I guess that maybe she's a little tired of things that are floofy and white...
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
12/10/08

@Annabellie: AAAAAAAHahahahahaha.

That is all.
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Lymed
12/10/08

In reply to
I almost settled for a dress that was just mildly irritating, but then I realized, what would may wedding day mean if I didn't spend it telling my dress to shut up and stop nagging me?
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Eeva
12/10/08

@Lymed: Good point. I'm going to make my wedding dress out of pictures of Carrot Top.
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Grim Reaper of the Forest
12/10/08

@Lymed: My wedding dress was a little melancholy, so I had to keep feeding it champagne the whole reception to cheer it up.
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J.D.Regent
12/10/08

In reply to
Aw, I love these ho to housewife tales!
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Sophie needs to study...damn
12/10/08

@J.D.Regent: Me too! Here's to Scarlett, Hugh Hefner (for a time), Tracie, Jessica Cutler, Brad, Madonna (she's no longer a wife, I know), Jay-Z...
and one day, me!
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Eeva
12/10/08

@J.D.Regent: Ha! I myself enjoy a good anal-to-nuptial story.
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LaFemme
12/10/08

In reply to
The cake is a joke, right?

That reminded me of the Girls Next Door episode where they all cast their body parts in chocolate for Hef's 115th birthday or whatever it was. Kendra had the ass, a "chocolate starfish" if you will.

Nothing says class like asking your friends and famimly to eat something molded in to the shape of your asshole.
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LaComtesse
12/10/08

@LaFemme: I think my favorite part about that moment on 'Girls Next Door' was when Holly kept ooo-ing "It looks JUST LIKE IT."

Ummm... yeah, Holly. It's a mold. It's an exact replica. It would be weirder if it looked different... ... you... still don't get how this works, do you?
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LaComtesse
12/10/08

In reply to
I think an ass-shaped novelty cake as an anti-wedding measure is way more annoying than a (reasonably priced) floofy white dress.
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hamburgerhotdog
12/10/08

In reply to
Hooray for Sheila McClear getting outside work.

They met at Redemption. Forget her past, that is one detail I would make sure no one ever knew.
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hamburgerhotdog
12/10/08

@hamburgerhotdog: and is the cake supposed to be a joke on her, uh, previously paid activities with a certain senator?
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St. Francis of a Sissy
12/10/08

@hamburgerhotdog: What is Redemption? A once-cool club or some kind of Sexaholics Anonymous support group (honestly, it sounds like it could go either way, does it not)?
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hamburgerhotdog
12/10/08

@St. Francis of a Sissy: Frat bar with barely dressed waitresses. Like Hooters but with less charm. It's wicked dumb, brah.
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Annabellie
12/10/08

In reply to
I'd get an ass-shaped cake, but the hall we rented says that the cake has to come from an "accredited bakery" for health and safety reasons. I'm not sure that I could get one from an accredited bakery, is all.
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BabyJane
12/10/08

In reply to
Nothing says romance like ass-cake.
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Clare116
12/10/08

@BabyJane: Makes me think of the armadillo groom's cake in Steel Magnolias!

"Thanks, Weezer. Nothing like a good piece of ass." Ah, Tom Skerritt.
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Ramseylicious
12/10/08

@Clare116:

When I was little I was convinced that I wanted an armadillo red velvet cake for my wedding because of that movie.
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