[Krindjabo, Ivory Coast; August 12. Image via Getty]

A woman plays during a ceremony as US civil rights activist Jesse Jackson (Out of camera range) is named 'son' and 'prince' of Sanwi on August 12, 2009 in the village of Krindjabo in the southeast of the Ivory Coast. Jackson inherited the titled from another Jackson, Michael who was also honoured with the title in 1992 during his visit. Jesse Jackson is on a three day visit to the Ivory Coast invited by the association of 'Young Patriots', partisans of President Laurent Gbagbo. AFP PHOTO / ISSOUF SANOGO (Photo credit should read ISSOUF SANOGO/AFP/Getty Images)

In particular, Bill O'Reilly wants to know why it is that Famous Political Black People, like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, are hanging around Jackson's famliy (hint: the proximity of cameras might have something to do with it!) since Michael's black card was revoked after he had "white" children. Carlson and Huddy, for their part, want to know why black people don't understand Jackson was a "pedophile" and a "freak." And they all want to know — especially Carlson and Huddy — why it is that celebrities can get away with everything. Including of course, sexually harassing one's subordinates.

Why Do Black People Like Michael Jackson?: O'Reilly [Newser]

Jackson claimed the right to say this about Obama because he's a "a neighbor or, better still, a member of the family" since Jackson's son, Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr., is a strong supporter of Obama's. In fact, he's such a strong supporter that — for the second time this year — he's had to issue a statement slamming his increasingly erratic father. Obama and Congressman Jackson issued statements taking issue with Reverend Jackson's completely false characterization of Obama's positions on Israel, and the good Reverend was forced to admit that he's had nary a conversation with Obama on the subject in his life.

This is, of course, not the first time Jackson's fucked up when it comes to Obama. The first time, during the primaries, he accused Obama of "acting white" for not being out there enough talking about the Jena 6, a comment he later denied. He was later caught on tape saying "I wanna cut his nuts off" for "telling n*****s how to behave" after Obama spoke about absentee fathers in the African-American community. Of course, Jackson might be just a little sensitive about the subject of absentee fathers, given that he practically stopped visiting the child he had with his mistress in her second year of life, preferring to make sure she was financially supported and had her privacy. So, actually, making anti-Semitic, anti-Israel policy statements while claiming to be speaking on behalf of a candidate he has publicly desired to castrate might be par for the course for the Reverend Jackson this year.

Is he jealous that Obama might rise to the pinnacle of political power that he himself failed to achieve? Or is he just losing his marbles? Or can Sarah Palin's wink do something to a man up close that, thankfully, it can't do over a television feed? Jeebus only knows, but Congressman Jackson needs to get his dad to shut the fuck up already.

The O Jesse Knows [NY Post]
Obama Responds To Report On Jackson Comments [Washington Post]

Related: Report: Jesse Jackson Says Barack Obama 'Acting White' In Case Of Six Blacks Accused In Assault Case [Fox News]
Jesse Jackson On Obama: 'Wanna Cut His Nuts Off" [YouTube]
Breaking: What Else Jesse Jackson Said On That FNC Tape [TV Newser]
Mother Wants Jesse Jackson To 'Be A Father' To Illegitimate Child [CNN]

• Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $700,000 offer to pose topless in Playboy. Since we already saw her nipples in New York magazine, what would be the point? [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, there's a truce in the Lohan fam: Michael is actually saying nice things about Dina! And mom, dad and all the kids will allegedly all be together for the final service for Lindsay's grandfather, who died last week. They'll scatter his ashes in a Long Island harbor. [E!]
• You know how Sarah Palin was on the cover of Us? Apparently the magazine "lost thousands of subscribers in the first 24 hours" following the printing of the issue. [MSNBC]

• Lily Allen's suffering from a major hangover and some regret after drunkly swearing on stage at the GQ Awards. Her Facebook status is "dying inside" and she wrote that she "feels like killing" herself, although that part has since been removed. Free champagne is a blessing and a curse. [Daily Mail]
• Leighton Meester and Blake Lively of Gossip Girl: Guest stars on 30 Rock this fall. Apparently Liz Lemon was a mean girl in high school! [EW]
• Heidi Montag: "I'm waiting for my Barbie Doll. That's what I want next." Spencer Pratt: "We just talked to Mattel yesterday, and we are already working on our own Ken and Barbie." That sound you hear: Thunderous hooves, as the Apocalyptic horsemen approach. [Socialite Life]
• Romeo Beckham is The Dark Knight. [The Sun]
• Balthazar Getty and Matthew Rhys, who play brothers on Brothers & Sisters are not speaking to each other, and it's Sienna Miller's fault. Naturally. [E!]
• Hayden Panettiere, 19, is moving into her own house in West Hollywood. But! Her beau, Milo Ventimiglia, is upset because he thought they were moving in together. Turns out she's wary of Milo, who keeps talking about marriage. A source says: "She's not even old enough to have a drink, so she's not even thinking about settling down." [Star]
• Whoa, there's a feud between Alec Baldwin and Greg Garcia, the exec producer of My Name Is Earl. Alec can't understand why they'd do a one-hour episode of Earl: You've got to be fucking kidding me," he says. Garcia says Alec sounds like a "psychotic narcissist." [Page Six, Defamer]
• This story about Jennifer Aniston is titled: "Did Brangelina Spoil Jennifer For Other Men?" Here is an actual line from the article: "When it comes to men, Jen’s radar seems hopelessly broken, leaving her prey to the serial-shagger charms of men such as [Paul] Sculfor, who is now cosily loved up with Cameron Diaz, and [John] Mayer, who has been involved with a string of other celebs including Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt." [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse ordered 48 bottles of Jack Daniel's. For a weekend gig. [The Sun]
• Kim Kardashian is helping sister Khloe with Celebrity Apprentice. First assignment: Lunch with Omarosa. Uh-oh! [Page Six]
• Tension in New Kids On The Block? Seems like Donnie won't hang out with the other kids or play their reindeer games. [Page Six]
• Richard Branson says, "The best way to reduce your carbon footprint is not to fly at all. But that's not realistic. You can't walk to England." He has a solution, of course: "Fly Virgin. One hundred percent of all profits from all our airlines are reinvested into finding a cleaner fuel solution. We had an experimental 747 that ran on coconut oil… but it took 150,000 coconuts for one flight. So now we're looking at developing fuel from algae. If you fly Virgin, you'll support this cause." [Rush & Molloy]
• Rachel Weisz was voted Hollywood's hottest babe — in a poll of 4,000 lesbians. [The Sun]
• Actor Joe Pantoliano, aka Ralph Cifaretto on the Sopranos, was at the RNC lobbying for his charity, No Kidding, which deals with brain disease. Joey Pants sufferers from clinical depression. [Page Six]
• The court case between Matt LeBlanc and his former business manager has been settled. You can click to see the court papers or think a happy thought about butterflies, and I suggest the latter, because the papers are a yawn. [ET]
• One year after vowing never to perform on the MTV Awards again, Kanye West will close the show's 25th annual ceremony in Hollywood on Sunday. [Reuters]
• Christina Aguilera will also perform at the VMAs. [Daily Star]
• Don't hold your breath for U2's new album: It's been pushed to 2009. Bono says the band has 50 or 60 new songs to consider for inclusion. Decision time. [Reuters]
• The dude who robbed Kiki Dunst's hotel room last August is getting four years in jail. Maybe that's why his MySpace has Jewish prayer music on it? [Gothamist]
• Ciara: Naked on the cover of Vibe magazine. [Concrete Loop]
• Akon performed in South Africa last week and when one of his female fans embraced him, he violently elbowed her off the stage. [Molly Good]
• Anthony Edwards will appear on the final season of ER, but Dr. Mark Greene is not back from the dead: He'll be in flashback scenes. [AP]
• Are you the Gatekeeper? Columbia Pictures is working on a new installment of Ghostbusters. [LA Times]
• An L.A. businessman is suing Gene Simmons over an Indy Racing League deal. [E!]
• "It's going to stop one day. It's not that you fall. It's just one day there are new people, and, you know, the opportunities aren't what they once were. It happens to everybody, man. I prepare for the worst. I think every show I do, I realize I could get booed off the stage and they could throw tomatoes. Hey — Michael Jackson, man. One day you're Vanilla Ice and the next day you're…Vanilla Ice." — Chris Rock on his career. [Page Six]
• "I live in Costa Rica, way off the grid. We live off solar power, with no car, and no telephone. I'm nothing like my character. I'm more into the environment." — Perrey Reeves, aka Entourage's Mrs. Ari Gold. [Rush & Molloy]
• "I didn't really have any expectations. They say it gives you a little more juice for the first year and that's it. It certainly didn't help me get this movie made." — Helen Hunt, on life after winning an Oscar, and her directorial debut, Then She Found Me, in which Salman Rushie has a part as an obstetrician. [Guardian]
• "The corsets were very restrictive. The worst part was after lunch because they don’t help your digestion." — Keira Knightley on burping her way through The Duchess. [The Sun]
• "I don't always love kids. Sometimes I absolutely loathe them. Children are just people who haven't lived very long yet. I'm predisposed to be affectionate if someone’s smaller but if they're loathsome in the first five minutes, they're loathsome.” — Colin Firth. [Daily Express]
• "I had sex if I had the energy. I wasn't one of those guys who believed in the myths about the guy losing his chi. The fact is that if you are riding your bike six, seven hours a day, you are not a sex champion. You're just not. You have fatigue, low testosterone and a lower libido. But you know, I never got any complaints." — Lance Armstrong to Men's Journal. [Page Six]

MEGAN: Morning! People has this stupid teaser on its webpage for its cover story on Elizabeth Edwards' feelings told by other people as though people like you and I are going to run out and buy the magazine? I'd be tempted to make an appointment with my acupuncturist who has a description and gets it in the office, which costs a hell of a lot more money but is more useful than a magazine. Anyway, apparently, it hurt to hear that her husband was sticking his penis in other women. Has your curiosity been satiated?

DAVID: I don't feel like I'll have a real handle on the story until Mike Allen at the Politico has interviewed Elizabeth about her Hollywood crushes, though.

MEGAN: I'll be she thinks George Clooney is cute.

DAVID: Well, clearly the lesson from all this is that we shouldn't vote for John Edwards in November. Now, can we move along, people?

MEGAN: Wait, though, can we go back to Rush Limbaugh for a second? Because I think I might be allowed to crush on Keith Olbermann after he went after Rush last night. (Skip to minute 3, if you want to see it.)

DAVID: Oh, sweet. I need to watch that. Olbermann is uneven for me. Sometimes he's awesome and then other times he goes so far over the top. Whereas my love for Rachel Maddow is unconditional and all-consuming.

MEGAN: Yes, I have to agree about Rachel, but, um, Keith could, say, call me in Denver and yell about how awesome smart women are for a while.

DAVID: So, what do you think about Arkansas? Do you feel like the shooting was politically motivated?

MEGAN: I mean, if it wasn't politically motivated, why Gwatney in particular?

DAVID: Most reports I'm seeing are refraining from speculation about motivation, but I have a sinking feeling in my stomach that this is exactly what I was talking about yesterday with the Limbots going insane and lashing out at Librull Amurrka. Of course, the fact that Righty screamer Michelle Malkin felt the need to issue a denial of involvement before the body was even cold speaks volumes to me.

MEGAN: Some Internet troll types think it's another Clinton conspiracy. For real.

DAVID: Conservatism, I am starting to believe, is a form of mental illness. Malkin is up to her old tricks again of publishing the contact information of people who challenge her. If you go down that thread and look, Malkin published some detractor's email address and full name and her commenters are bragging about looking up the guy's mother's name and threatening her.

MEGAN: Hey, you know, that shit got some dudes a NY Times Magazine cover story, so...

DAVID: Delightful people. Funny how much her denial of blame yesterday reminds me of her denial of blame in the death of UC Santa Cruz administrator Denice Denton.

MEGAN: Yes, we get it, Michelle, you are not personally responsible for all the evil in the world, not even the evil committed by your fans. Speaking of pissing off Michelle's fans, did you see that the Census Bureau came out with new figures that say white people won't be the majority by 2042? Interesting timing on that one.

DAVID: Except that she is. But speaking of trolls, did you see Larry King last night? Larry King and Paul Waldman handed Obama-bashing Jerome Corsi's his ass on a pizza.

HA! Segway jinx! Yes, 2042 is when Mark Penn's target voters will no longer be the top dogs. To tell you the truth, I'm a little disappointed because I thought that white people were already outnumbered.

MEGAN: I mean, is it just a little interesting to you that the government comes out with these figures that we've all know for ages now that prompt headlines like White Americans no longer a majority by 2042 a mere 11 days before the start of the first Democratic convention which will make Obama (an African-American) the first major- party candidate for President? Or am I just that paranoid?

DAVID: When it comes to the perfidy of corporate media, I don't think you can ever be too paranoid, can you?

MEGAN: Possibly not.

DAVID: I mean, you've got Karl Rove's buttboy in at the top of the AP, GE owns NBC and MSNBC, then there's ClearChannel and Pox News. Even public radio and television are beholden to big money donors like BP and Wal-Mart.

MEGAN: You know what's really funny?

DAVID: Really, Megan, it's all down to you. You alone can tell the world the Truth. What's funny?

MEGAN: A good friend of mine used to work at Alticor, which owns Amway (which, of course) doesn't advertise AND is heavily Republican... and they complain about the perfidy of the corporate media and the influence of advertising dollars, too.

Aaaanyway, back to topical stuff... Want to talk about how this might be the first convention since 1984 that Jesse Jackson doesn't speak at? Or that he'll watch D.C. mayor Adrian Fenty (kind of a cutie) and House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn but not House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Charlie Rangel speak (though, the latter might be because he's had a couple of easily-foreseen ethical scandals crop up recently)?

DAVID: Oh, well, I think that might be for the best, don't you? Maybe he has a pressing gig talking about spaying and neutering at a veterinary convention. Honestly, I think it may be time for Reverend Jackson to spend some more time with his families.

MEGAN: I'm actually kind of disappointed in Charlie Rangel. It's like when people in D.C. said, "No one could be a bigger, more condescending prick who abuses the power of his office than Bill Thomas" he took that as a challenge.

DAVID: Everybody needs goals in life. Charlie was just reaching for that rainbow, living the dream. Can we really fault him for that?

MEGAN: Sort of like the owner of the gay cruising site that's maxed out to McCain.

DAVID: Well, I have a theory about that.

MEGAN: Self-loathing? Or straight entrepreneur?

DAVID: Your gay Republican types thrive in an atmosphere of repression and secrecy. They want their gay sex dirty, shameful, and totally secret. They don't want to have stable gay marriages or adopt kids. They want to get down on it Larry Craig style.

MEGAN: And so he thinks in a McCain administration his cruising site will do better? Actually, given McCain's incredibly gay entourage, that might not be too far off the mark.

DAVID: I've thought about this a lot. I never could understand why someone would be a gay Republican. It's like being a chicken for Col. Sanders.

MEGAN: God, reading that just made my stomach growl.

DAVID: But then the more I thought about it, and as more and more and more twisted gay sex scandals came to light in the GOP, I started putting together my Unified Field Theory of Gay Republicans. For them it's all about The Forbidden.

Well, that and racism.

MOE: Ohhhhh mann, I'm still like on Seattle time or something
MEGAN: I'm on "got home at midnight after an 8 hour drive" fog.
MOE: What should we talk about? Yikes!
MEGAN: Oh, see, I was going to suggest that we talk about how Alaskan Republican Senator Ted "Series of Tubes" Stevens was indicted on 7 counts yesterday, but fetish hookers is way more prurient. Also, rumors around the courts here in D.C. is that touchy-feely ass-grabbing Congressman Don Young is next. Actually, that's just been the rumor for a while, but doesn't it sound cooler when I semi-source it?
MOE: Isn't just the fact that Alaska has two senators corruption in itself?
MEGAN: Well, they do have a whole 100,000 more people than Washington, DC, so of course they deserve 2 Senators and a Congressman and D.C. shouldn't get either.
Geek moment: Did you know that there are more people in Hawai'i than Alaska? Like, almost twice as many.
MOE: Yes. Does that surprise you? Any more than, like, this? Oh god I need coffee.
MEGAN: Back to Stevens, the most hilarious thing of all is that they couldn't charge him with bribery because sometimes he just took the lavish gifts from Veco and told them to fuck off! It's sort of like how Congressmen and Senators feel about campaign contributions only flashier (now including a Land Rover and a Viking Grill!).
As a white resident of upstate New York, I particularly like this statement of Sharpton's:

"We have all made mistakes. We have all erred, and we ought not try to sugar coat when we err."

Oh, really, Al?
MOE: The Ted Stevens thing reminds me of when I used to cover Nike for the Journal, and the guys from SLAM just couldn't figure out why I wasn't allowed to take free shoes. "Sure, it's bribery, but when EVERYONE bribes you you're still objective!"
MEGAN: "As long as you 'slam' them later," right? (Apologies for the bad but necessary pun).Speaking of apologies...
MOE: Jesus this totally makes the AMA's timing look COMPLETELY NORMAL!

In February, the Senate apologized for atrocities committed against Native Americans, and the body apologized in 2005 for standing by during a lynching campaign against African Americans throughout much of the past century. Twenty years ago, Congress apologized for interning Japanese Americans in concentration camps during World War II.

MEGAN: Well, you know, they're really, really worried about reparations. That's, like, a completely legitimate concern.
MOE: As I'm sure is the fact that there is a lot in those Jim Crow laws some Americans still would like to resurrect! Sorry, that's a year old, but I didn't remember it until today.
MEGAN: Luckily for Jonah and at the behest of plenty of Republican state governments, states are passing government-ID laws to make it more difficult for people to vote, especially poor people. You heard, right, that the first people fucked over by that law were a bunch of nuns and students? But it was the Democratic primary, so that was the intention, anyway, to keep Democrats from voting, so hooray Indiana for designing a law that actually works as it was intended. Sort of hooray. More like, um, FUCK YOU Mitch Daniels. Cialis was marketed under his tenure at Lilly, by the way. You knew he was a pharmaceutical company exec before he was OMB Director before he was Governor of Indiana, right?
MOE: Uh no but doesn't that just make this world make a little more sense! That and this guy. Um I just blew some of my literacy reading this. Also, is it just me or is it surprising that nuns of all people would not have their IDs ready? I know they probably don't get carded too often, but isn't it in the nun personality type?
MEGAN: But why would they need an ID? And, yes, OMG, can we please, please, please stop dumbing Michelle Obama down so that people think she's more like them? Please? It makes my brain hurty. Oh, and did you see that the International Olympics Committee negotiated a secret deal with the Chinese to limit journalists' internet access?
MOE: God everytime I think I know how full of shitheads the IOC is I am proved wrong. Who are these IOC officials anyway? Hey, maybe there's a job for Mitt Romney!
MEGAN: Someone's got to give him on eventually if McCain won't. His hair is too bulletproof to retire.
MOE: So $15,000 a month is Rielle Hunter's hush money . I feel like we should do a poll on how much you'd ask if you'd been knocked up by a filthy rich presidential candidate. I think fifteen grand is good, because there's not a whole lot an unimaginative person like myself can't do on that money, but it's not so disgusting people will question her genuine love for the bastard. But hey, where's the "real father" Andrew Young in all of this?
MEGAN:Apparently, getting paid off by the same middleman! That's $180,000 a year, or, if it continues at the same rate, $3.24 million over the next 18, not including tuition. I don't think I'll make $3 million in the next 18 years. Also, can we just discuss how exactly the Enquirer knew that Rielle was in the hotel, whose name she checked in under and when Edwards would show? Because between that and the news that she's negotiating a paid interview, I don't think the "hush" part of the money is working.

SPENCER: It is 8:11 a.m. and the dude sitting near me at the BWI airport 50s-kitsch diner counter just ordered a 20 oz Miller Lite
MEGAN: Well, at least is isn't a 40? I am sitting in the hallway outside of security watching the tourists parade on by and watching the security people wonder what I'm doing. The security lady says it's coldest in the hallway between the A and B gates, a truth to which I can currently attest.
SPENCER: Interesting fact about the difference between A & B gates: for the purpose of eating or using the bathroom, you're better off using B, even if your flight is at A. No bathrooms at A, and the only stuff to eat is like Arby's and such.
MEGAN: Ooh, I remember that but please don't remind me how much I need to pee after all that coffee I drank to be awake enough to drive you up here. So, I feel like we should lead off with the story about how when Jesse Jackson suggested castrating Barack Obama, he also dropped the n-word, in reference to, well, pretty much every African-American person in America.
SPENCER: Also I bought an issue of Wired for the first time ever — I had a girlfriend who subscribed and my lack of interest in the magazine was a minor issue between us — because Julia Allison is on the cover and I still do not exactly know who she is, but she has extremely impressive cleavage.
MEGAN: Really? If you wanted a picture of impressive cleavage, you didn't have to pay for it.
SPENCER: Ah yes. You know who's upset that she doesn't get to use the N Word? Internment-camp apologist Michelle Malkin. Yes you have very impressive tits and I would never say otherwise.
MEGAN: I prefer that such knowledge be widespread, I will admit it. Also, how much does Michelle Malkin really suck, truly?
SPENCER: Hahahaha the waitress just brought me the Miller Lite by mistake
MEGAN: Dude, the man bought you a beer, it's only polite to accept.
SPENCER: I suppose with my Blackwater t-shirt and tattoos I look like the sort of air traveller who'd have a beer with his omelet
MEGAN: I can't believe that you're getting hit on by dudes this morning and I am not, I need to step up my game.
SPENCER: What is it with right-wingers and their desire to say the n-word? Like, what's in it for you?
MEGAN: Spencer, I mean, obviously, it's not faaaaaair that black people get to use the "n" word and get to be all offended about it when other people do. It's, like, practically anti-American. It's hating on our freedoms (to be racist, disgusting sonsofbitches).
SPENCER: Life is unfair to Michelle Malkin but I feel it is so for reasons independent of her inability to type the N-word.
MEGAN: I don't think like is unfair to MM. I think she is probably pretty damn content with her life. If we want to talk unfair lives, we'd talk about my life. Or yours.
SPENCER: So what are we supposed to believe follows from the apparent fact that Jesse Jackson used the N-word? The significance is...? My life is pretty great right now: I'm about to fly to Austin to attend and speak at a conference of the anti-American terrorist supporting left. i shaved my mustache down and grew out my beard so i could look like a Salafist.
MEGAN: Well, I think it's the hypocrisy of him being part of the campaign to get rappers and the like to stop using it.
I did notice your beard was longer, but I don't notice when the 'stache is shorter, I'll admit.
SPENCER: Oh that was Jackson? Should I blame him for the fact that Nas' record is called Untitled and not N Word? I feel like this is the sort of thing that only a non-black person could possibly find hypocritical
MEGAN: Yes, he was one of the anti-n-word campaign which, frankly, I'm not completely opposed to as I cringe when I hear someone say the word regardless of race, but it is the height of hypocrisy to moralize about it publicly and then use it privately. And/or to threaten to cut off the balls of the first black candidate for President when he suggests that some black men should take responsibility for their children when you've knocked up your mistress.
SPENCER: Like, I don't agree with this argument, but there's nothing a priori hypocritical about saying the n-word but not wanting prominent black figures to use it as the titles of their books or albums or movies or what-have-you. I don't think it's hypocritical! oftentimes I say things in unguarded moments that it's better not see print/publication/distribution. that's an issue of judgment, not hypocrisy. as Dave Chappelle taught us, a world in which everyone constantly keeps us real is not one we'd actually like to live in.
MEGAN: Well, I think that if you're going to argue for a word to be banned from use, then it shouldn't be a word that you're wont to drop yourself. Also, I'm mostly just disappointed in Jesse Jackson the way I am in Geraldine Ferraro, because I thought he was so awesome when I was a little kid and now he's just another big jerk. Plus, whenever I hear Rainbow Coalition, I think Rainbow Connection and now I feel like he has besmirched Kermit.
SPENCER: Have you ever listened to his "I Am Somebody" speech? It's beyond awesome. liberals should remember their history — we tend to think of the 80s as a wasteland of Reaganesque triumphalism but there were some real high points, and Rev JJ's 1984 convention speech is one of them
MEGAN: No, I completely agree. 1984 is really the first election I remember (him and Geraldine being little girl highlights of mine) and so that's really the source of my disappointment.
SPENCER: Jesus fucking CHRIST the Miller Liters are shouting out "Strong Island" to some women who sensibly left the diner-counter in a hurry. ok now i need you to explain something to me
MEGAN: Oh, God, I'm glad I'm not with you right now.
SPENCER: On our internal FDL email listserv, my blogospheric colleagues noted that there was a near-riot at an IndyMac branch in California. I have no idea why or what happened, nor what IndyMac, like, is, so I'm counting on you to explain.
MEGAN: Um, so, I take that back, a woman just sat down next to me out here and started clipping her toenails.
SPENCER: Done with breakfast now!
MEGAN: Ok, so, IndyMac: was a bank in California, still sort of is. The Feds moved in last Friday after it was determined that they didn't have enough money to meet their depository obligations because of tighter credit and foreclosures. Though, it might be eventually facing fraud charges.
SPENCER: and this is Housing-Crisis-related?
MEGAN: Yes, mostly. I mean, housing crisis and financial mismanagement, which are basically being seen as one and the same these days. But, so, like, if you didn't know, any savings accounts and CDs and the like are insured by the federal government up to — and only up to — $100,000.
SPENCER: I did not know
MEGAN: And the FDIC has determined that up to 10,000 IndyMac customers have deposits in excess of the FDIC limits, which is like up to $1 billion in uninsured deposits, and the FDIC expects to have to pay $8 billion + for the bail out. But those people with more money in than the FDIC insured, those people will basically be considered the bank's creditors and will wait years or more to get their money back (if they ever get their $$ back), which is why people were freaking the fuck out yesterday
SPENCER: Okay, I think I found the incident in question — it appears to have occurred in the San Fernando Valley:

Police ordered angry customers lined up outside an IndyMac Bank branch to remain calm or face arrest Tuesday as they tried to pull their money on the second day of the failed institution's federal takeover.
At least three police squad cars showed up early Tuesday as tensions rose outside the San Fernando Valley branch of Pasadena-based IndyMac.

So this is a riot of the formerly-rich?
MEGAN: Welcome to the Depression, and why the government started the FDIC in the first place, though it does provide a significant financial disincentive for banks to not do a great job self-regulating. Well, "formerly rich"
SPENCER: or is it only bloggers who don't have $100,000-plus in the bank these days?
MEGAN: I mean, some of these people, that might be their retirement savings because when you get within 5-10 of retirement you're told to take your money out of the stock market and put it in insurable, risk-averse assets.
SPENCER: Whoa you used the D-word
MEGAN: Ben B can come by and flog me later.
SPENCER: I am sure when I arrive at Netroots Nation there will be no shortage of invective on this, and i don't mean that pejoratively. Oh hey could I refer back to yesterday's CH for a second?
MEGAN: Which part? I know not the food parts...
SPENCER: The Iraq/Afghanistan parts
MEGAN: Sure
SPENCER: My friend Elle Reeve — someone else that TNR fucked over — read yesterday's CH rather attentively, as her husband Scott, a rather unfortunately infamous Iraq veteran, is scheduled to return for his second Iraq tour in the fall and she grounded yesterday's discussion of the Obama/McCain debate over Afghanistan/Iraq troop levels in a really compelling way, so I hereby introduce CH readers to the awesome Elle Reeve:

Obama wants to send two brigades to Afghanistan, and now McCain wants to send three. Where would these dudes come from? They're not going to pluck guys from one war zone and deposit them in another, right? So will troops scheduled for Iraq get sent to Afghanistan instead, and the guys in Iraq won't be replaced as their deployments expire? If Obama's elected and starts pulling out, wouldn't guys in Iraq have shortened deployments, while the guys in Afghanistan would still be deployed for 15 months at a time?

MEGAN: Oh, geez, that sucks that he got re-upped.
SPENCER:

Scott's brigade is mechanized, so there's little chance he'd be sent to Afghanistan, since tanks and Bradleys don't work well with mountains, right? The brigade is set to be in Iraq through near the last of Obama's 16 months. So what will happen to last of the guys in Iraq? Will they pull out of less volatile areas first? Because his co-workers totally deserve someplace nice in Kurdistan after serving in Baghdad last year. Basically, I'm looking to seize on any possibility that he'll be in a marginally less dangerous area. Or an area I can sneak in to. Kidding! Sort of. Give me the illusion of control.

Given that I need to board a plane in like 10 minutes, I sympathize deeply with Elle's desire for the illusion of control
MEGAN: I mean, who doesn't? I always prefer to have the illusion that I have any control over anything. And have a kickass time in Austin!

MOE: you there?
MEGAN: I am! I'm sitting in a cafe in Saarbrücken, drinking my 4th dose of caffeine for the day and watching it sprinkle outside.
MOE: How pleasant! I am in my bed with a raspberry Kombucha, and I have yet to make the caffeine so as with so many days I am somewhat cranky, particularly regarding the kneejerk hostility of my countrymen, which is to say what the fuck, "Obama aide"? God people need to simmer down. Beyond that I was talking about the Jesse Jackson thing last night and decided that like everything it was just really funny.
MEGAN: I forgot to tell you, I saw Snuffleupagus get into a cab at M and Connecticut the other week! Also, because I missed Crappy Hour yesterday because my flight was super delayed, I also forgot to mention that Madeline Albright was on my flight but I never managed to get back up to business class to fan girl out in her direction after she caught me staring and grinning like an idiot when I got on the plane. Also, how nerdy is it that I fan girl out about Madeline Albright? Anyway, I'm not sure I quite understand the Jesse Jackson thing, but that might be because I spent the time I should've been reading about it toasting my friends' marriage on an empty stomach and thereafter read about it.
MEGAN: But my nerd-crush Chuck Todd says that the map is shifting to Obama anyway so maybe Jesse Jackson can shove off? I forget, did he knock his mistress up or just get caught having one?
MOE: You know, anyone who gets caught whispering about how he's going to cut off the nuts of a guy who is not only in all likelihood the next leader of the free world but a
MOE: close family friend — while miked — at Fox News!…at FOX NEWS…definitely says shit a lot worse than that on a very regular basis, as my friend Brian was pointing out last night. He sort of wanted to engage in a hypothetical Jesse Jackson empty threat contest. I think he started with a reference to skullfucking.
MEGAN: How about eyeball licking when you've got cold sores? Eye herpes=painful and blinding. Plus just the thought of it gives me the chills.
MEGAN: Also, can I say, it sort of freaks me out in Germany that people are, like, totally willing to get caught looking at you. People watching is more of an art form in America in which the goal is not to get caught. Here, they don't care and it is very disconcerting. I don't say that because a group of 15 men just walked by and all stopped talking to look at me as they walked by or anything and I'm not even speaking English or anything.
MOE: Dude WHERE IS MY NOONAN. NO NOONAN TODAY. And where the fuck has Brooks been? You mean to tell me these once a week columnists get vacations? Anyway, so what is all this bullshit with Obama and abortion? I have a block against reading about abortion because reading abortion stories doesn't tell you anything new about anything I guess. And re the Prussians, I kind of like that. I look at people unabashedly all the time. If I have left my house, you are fair game is how I see it.
MEGAN: I know, I just keep, like, checking to see if my bra is showing or something.
MEGAN: Oh, that's the late term abortion thingie.
MEGAN: Basically, he's all like, no "late term" abortions for mental distress, but then there's been no real explanation for him about the definition of "late term," which could be anything from one week into the second trimester to the 8 month mark, AS THOUGH women look down and 8 months and go, ohhh, shit, yeah, this was a bad idea.
MEGAN: Anyway, so peeps are all pissed off and I think rightly so because, for me, it's all within the context of other stuff he's seemingly moving to the middle on which is why I wrote this.
MOE: I guess I should also go through some other shit I ignored this week, such as the party of Lincoln bloggers are angry Obama said Americans should learn other languages, but I think he is maybe just being "pro growth" since some language skills might do something to staunch the rapid falloff in the value of a US life. And to that end maybe Phil Gramm's tough love approach to fending off recession could be exported to other places with economic woes like I dunno Egypt?
MEGAN: Ok, shit, my battery's about to die and I don't see a plug and don't remember the word, so if I disappear, I'll see you shortly but maybe not shortly enough to continue with this...

MEGAN: Sorry, in the meantime, a woman sat directly in front of me, lit up a cigarette and, to avoid blowing the smoke in her companions face, blew it in mine.
MOE: Hey, you know who's not on vacation for which we can be thankful? E. J. Dionne.

The biggest political story of 2008 is getting little coverage. It involves the collapse of assumptions that have dominated our economic debate for three decades.
Since the Reagan years, free-market cliches have passed for sophisticated economic analysis. But in the current crisis, these ideas are falling, one by one, as even conservatives recognize that capitalism is ailing.
You know the talking points: Regulation is the problem and deregulation is the solution. The distribution of income and wealth doesn't matter. Providing incentives for the investors of capital to "grow the pie" is the only policy that counts. Free trade produces well-distributed economic growth, and any dissent from this orthodoxy is "protectionism."

MEGAN: Anyway, Norquist's point is that a bunch of sole proprietorships file under the personal income tax code and thus will see their taxes go up under Obama's plan, but doesn't account for how many people are filing taxes under the personal code instead of the corporate code and thus would switch if the corporate rate was lower, which Obama has proposed lowering.
MEGAN: Wow, Dionne finds conservatives willing to say that boards voting crazy compensation packages for the people who appoint them and pay them might be a market failure?
MOE: It's funny, I had this drink with my old agent yesterday and I went off on this, I'm not quite sure why, and I said something about how the nation's policy makers could have pursued globalization differently and he looked at me like I was — well maybe like he was mulling whether I as stupid as I was inarticulate — and said something like "we don't control globalization" as if globalization was like gravity, which just…uh, may be a common misnomer.
MEGAN: Well, we don't control globalization, but we can control how we implement policies that can effect globalization or the effects of globalization and the only people that don't really seem to understand that are... people whose interests are best served by unfettered globalization.
MOE: Well this is a discussion for another time, but we have now but more importantly, over the past 30 years we, America, the world's largest market by a very long shot and in recent years by a psychotically long shot, have had an inordinate amount of power over how the thing works, and to the extent that our diplomatic interests are our commercial ones, you know.
MEGAN: Our diplomatic interests aren't always our commercial ones? I guess that does explain the depths of our committed engagement in Darfur, Zimbabwe, Burma and Cuba.

• Want to hear Jesse Jackson say something embarrassing and regrettable about cutting Obama's nuts out that is probably even more regrettable considering the supposed context is some shit about how Barack Obama needs to stop focusing so much on taking black men to task for being bad role models? Then turn on O'Reilly at 8! Yeah, I'm choosing beer in this case. [Drudge]
• Test missile launches always seem like the ten million dollar equivalent of showing up at your ex-boyfriend's party with some hot dude you blow at around midnight in the corner, in full view of at least three of his closest friends. Which is to say, they're just sort of inexplicably lame to me but it's the sort of behavior that shows you know exactly how to fuck with dudes. [WSJ]
• Sure you can get mad at Obama for supporting this rotten warrantless wiretapping retroactive immunity crap, but do you really think "swing voters" would buy that he doesn't support the U.S. Constitution solely on grounds that he's an Allah-worshiping terrorist? [Salon]
• Handy "analogy for the whole fucking economy" of the day #1: My grandfather's people are about to start getting paid in Euros. [WSJ]

• Handy " " " #2: High-flying super expansionary company employing 17,000 mostly unskilled uneducated Americans and some untold number of Chinese sweatshop workers goes down the tubes because it never really made money in the first place, and as it turns out its actual "earnings" came mostly from the same sweet loans and real estate kickbacks that have sent the rest of the system into disarray, but at the end of the day some rich Penn guys and Sarah Jessica Parker will get paid. [WSJ]
• Oh yeah so the market fell today, led by companies involved in those mortgage thingys, putting the S&P 500 index officially in the same "bear" category as the Dow. [WSJ]
• Angela Merkel does not have a crush on Obama, but her foreign minister does, which I guess means this whole awesome saga is playing out in Germany about some speech he wants to give before the Bradenburg Gate. [Breitbart]
• A depressing way to remind oneself that Istanbul is not actually the capital of Turkey. [NYT]

MOE: Looks like we're not the only ones who find this anti-climactic.

After the docs droned on awhile about the nuances of the candidates' health care plans, they asked for questions, and it was clear no reporters had any. I suspect nobody cared much about the stale back-and-forth on who's plan does what, and had learned that if you ask a real question about the campaign, you don't get anything like a remotely candid response.
So after a pause, the campaign took a caller who asked if Hillary had any more muffin-tops. Wolfson quickly cut that off and took a caller who identified himself as Steve from the Reading media, and asked something about "moose-knuckles."

MEGAN: I know, it kind of makes a blogger nervous!
MEGAN: But I've decided to pretend like it won't freak me out, and I can get some more Philly flavor, although I got plenty of that yesterday while driving around getting lost going to our interviews.
MOE: Today is a really special day because Bill Clinton said something completely false and inflammatory and Hillary said something completely obvious but inflammatory sounding and Obama said something about "fuck you I'm eating my waffle" about something and ethanol subsidies are still a terrible idea and none of the candidates are ready to say anything about that and —- oooh oooooh — there is some media speculation as to the likelihood of an Obama-Cinton dream ticket but basically no one is really dreaming about that.
MEGAN: I think people that don't actually like confrontation are still dreaming about it actually.
MEGAN: But, you know, fuck those people. And, um, where can I get a waffle? I haven't had a waffle in a year at least.
MEGAN: Sometimes, I think I might want to consider eating breakfast.
MOE: Oh and then there's that story in the Times about John McCain. You see, he is a man of great principle, but he is also a man of immense loyalty. Why do their attempts to undermine him always kind of make him look better? And curious.... is that you chatting me on G-chat whilst simultaneously chatting me on AIM? Because I'm one of those Luddites who likes to stick with a window. But I'm checking it now...
MEGAN: My question is why the FUCK did they drop that story on the day of the Pennsylvania primaries? Talk about dropping something into a black hole.

MOE: Because it's not...that...interesting? Well actually, fuck if I know. It did manage to employ the word "flotilla" and the developer's name is something rather akin to Dustin Diamond, which is funny.
MEGAN: I mean, he made the guy like $20 million on one transaction that he weighed in on. He got him extra water rights.
MEGAN: For someone that holds himself above all that, it's sketch to me.

MEGAN: OMG, a poll shows that 15% of people actually believe that Obama is Muslim. And 8 percent will admit they don't want to vote for a black person. What the fuck is wrong with people?
MEGAN: Also, those people will be screwed if McCain does get Condi to agree to be a running mate. And we'll get another 4 years (at least) of White House lesbian rumors if they win.
MEGAN: Oh, fuck, keep reading. Apparently, people in Scranton heckled his (white) campaign staff on. St. Pat's with racial slurs. I'll bet they ended in -lover. I've been called that. It's so fucked up.
MOE: I think the problem with the McCain thing is that I'm just not that impressed with $20 million made on a real estate deal through the boom years. I mean, it's just not that big a deal to me. And why does anyone think Condi is a good idea for a running mate, beyond the fact that she is prettier and younger and not as pale as the old guy? Really, she should run for third wife actually.

MEGAN: Well, except for the lesbian rumors. I actually hope he does pick her. They'll be the foreign policy ticket in an election that's becoming increasingly about domestic affairs.
MEGAN: And you rarely win races on foreign policy.
MOE: Oh a very depressing thing: the Journal ousted its managing editor, my friend Marcus Brauchli. Marcus is a hilarious and awesome guy, and this is especially distressing coming on the heels of what I thought was such an awesome development i.e. the addition of Thomas Frank to the payroll. So I emailed Marcus asking if maybe he'd like to switch places and revive The Baffler.
MEGAN: If it was a real comic book, that would be fucking cool.
MOE: Another weighty endorsement: Nixon's daughter is supporting Obama. But is Julie Nixon Eisenhower registered as a Dem? Because if not she will not be able to have the same kind of impact as all those Kennedys....

MEGAN: No kidding, if she can't vote for him, what does it matter?
MOE: Sorry, you know, I am letting the ennui get the better of me. Under normal circumstances I might get riled up somehow about Bill Clinton accusing the Obama campaign of "playing the race card" against him. Are these "memos" that prove the Obama campaign was going to use Bill Clinton's whiteness against Hillary all along going to be on TheSmokingGun later you think?
MOE: Related: who's showing early signs of dementia? Because it sounds sort of like Clinton is, but it could easily be me.

MEGAN: No, there's a memo but it's basically a round-up of racially-charged stuff the Clinton's said. I don't know how that's playing the race card.