[Jerusalem, November 16. Image via Getty]

An Ethiopian Jewish women prays during the Sigd festival in Jerusalem on November 16, 2009. Sigd, the holiday of return and longing, is held fifty days after Yom Kippur. Prior to their immigration to Israel, the Jewish community in Ethiopia observed Sigd in their villages, praying to return to Jerusalem. Today, Sigd is celebrated in the holy city with thousands of Ethiopians from all over Israel gathering to pray together. AFP PHOTO/MENAHEM KAHANA (Photo credit should read MENAHEM KAHANA/AFP/Getty Images)

[Jerusalem, November 3. Image via Getty]

A Palestinian schoolgirl stands near Israeli security forces guarding a Palestinian house in the mostly Arab east Jerusalem neighborhood of Sheikh Jarrah after Israeli settlers took control over the house accompanied with a private security company following an Israeli court order on November 03, 2009. Dozens of Israeli settlers took over the house armed with a court order secured after a protracted legal battle with a Palestinian family, witnesses and police said. embers of the Al-Kurd family demonstrated in front of the house along with other Arab residents and pro-Palestinian activists as the settlers hurled the family's belongings out onto the street, a neighbour told AFP. AFP PHOTO/GALI TIBBON (Photo credit should read GALI TIBBON/AFP/Getty Images)

[Jerusalem, October 25. Image via Getty]

A Palestinian girl and an elderly relative watch from their home's door step clashes between Palestinian stone-throwers and Israeli riot policemen in Jerusalem's old city on October 25, 2009. Dozens of people were wounded in confrontations between Israeli police and Palestinians in and around the Al-Aqsa mosque compound, a flashpoint site holy to Muslims and Jews alike. AFP PHOTO/JONATHAN NACKSTRAND (Photo credit should read JONATHAN NACKSTRAND/AFP/Getty Images)

[Jerusalem, October 9. Image via Getty]

Israelis hold banners showing captured Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit during a protest calling for his release near Prime Minister Netanyahu's resident in Jerusalem on October 09, 2009. Israel freed 20 Palestinian female prisoners on October 02 in exchange for two minutes and 40 seconds video footage showing soldier Gilad Shalit looking healthy after more than three years in captivity at the hands of Gaza militants. AFP PHOTO/ GALI TIBBON (Photo credit should read GALI TIBBON/AFP/Getty Images)

[East Jerusalem, October 6. Image via Getty]

An Israeli woman wearing a 'jet outfit' leads her work colleagues from the Israeli Aircraft Industry as they take part in a Sukkot march which passed through the Arab Silwan neighborhood in East Jerusalem on October 06, 2009. Israeli police deployed in force throughout Jerusalem amid an annual march and as tensions simmered in the Holy City after two days of clashes with Palestinian youths. AFP PHOTO/MENAHEM KAHANA (Photo credit should read MENAHEM KAHANA/AFP/Getty Images)

[Jerusalem, September 23. Image via Getty]

An Ultra-orthodox Jewish woman swings a chicken above her daughter's head during the Kaparot ceremony in Mea Shearim Ultra Orthodox neighborhood of Jerusalem on September 23, 2009. According to Jewish beliefs, the ritual is supposed to transfer the sins of the past year to the chicken, and is performed before the Day of Atonement, or Yom Kippur, the most important day in the Jewish calendar, which this year falls on September 28. AFP PHOTO/MENAHEM KAHANA (Photo credit should read MENAHEM KAHANA/AFP/Getty Images)

[Qalandia Checkpoint, West Bank; September 11. Image via Getty]

A Palestinian woman flashes the V for 'victory' sign at Isareli soldiers as hundreds of women wait to cross the West Bank Israeli checkpoint of Qalandia into Jerusalem to attend the third Ramadan Friday prayers at Al-Aqsa mosque in the old city on September 11, 2009. Tens of thousands of faithful Muslim Palestinians are expected to throng the Al-Aqsa mosque compound in Jerusalem's old city to perform the third Friday prayers of Ramadan amid tight Israeli security. AFP PHOTO /ABBAS MOMANI (Photo credit should read ABBAS MOMANI/AFP/Getty Images)

[Jerusalem, September 8. Image via Getty]

A Palestinian girl poses in her prayer gown as she walks with family members to Jerusalem's Al-Aqsa mosque compound on the third week of the fasting month of Ramadan on September 8, 2009. Muslims across the world are observing the holy month, abstaining from consuming food and drink from dawn to dusk. The Al-Aqsa compound, which is known as Al-Haram Al-Sharif to Muslims, is Islam's third holiest site after Mecca and Medina. AFP PHOTO /AHMAD GHARABLI (Photo credit should read AHMAD GHARABLI/AFP/Getty Images)

[Qalandia, West Bank; September 4. Image via Getty]

A Palestinian girl cries as she waits to cross the West Bank Israeli checkpoint of Qalandia into Jerusalem to attend the second Ramadan Friday prayers at Al-Aqsa mosque in the old city on September 4, 2009. Thousands of faithful Palestinians are expected to throng the Al-Aqsa mosque compound in Jerusalem's old city to perform the second Friday prayers of Ramadan. AFP PHOTO/DAVID FURST (Photo credit should read DAVID FURST/AFP/Getty Images)

[Jerusalem, August 25. Image via Getty]

Christian Orthodox nuns holding candles and flowers walk on August 25, 2009 along the narrow streets of Jerusalem's Old City in a religious procession marking The Dormition of the Theotokos (God-bearer) which commemorates the Virgin Mary. Thousands of Christian Orthodox clergy and pilgrims took part in the early morning procession, an annual event during which Orthodox believers carry an icon of the Virgin Mary from the Church of the Holy Sepulchre to Mary's Tomb Church, located on the foothills of the Mount of Olives, near Gethsemane garden, which is regarded as the burial place of Virgin, according to Christian tradition. AFP PHOTO/GALI TIBBON (Photo credit should read GALI TIBBON/AFP/Getty Images)

[Jerusalem, August 20. Image via Getty]

Elderly Palestinian women walk past the Lion's Gate in Jerusalem's old city where traditional festive lights are displayed ahead of the start of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan on August 20, 2009. Muslims are monitoring the sighting of the new moon to determine the start of the holy month of Ramadan, when they fast from dawn to dusk and give alms to the poor. AFP PHOTO/MARCO LONGARI (Photo credit should read MARCO LONGARI/AFP/Getty Images)

[Jerusalem, June 25. Image via Getty]

Members of the Israeli lesbian community blow a condom on June 25, 2009 during the annual Gay parade in Jerusalem. More than 2,000 people took part a toned down Gay Pride parade in Jerusalem which drew only muted protest, in contrast to the violent controversy the event had stirred in the past. AFP PHOTO/MARCO LONGARI (Photo credit should read MARCO LONGARI/AFP/Getty Images)

[Jerusalem, June 25. Image via Getty]

JERUSALEM - JUNE 25: An Israeli lesbian is dressed up as an ultra-Orthodox Jew during the annual Gay Pride event in a city center park on June 25, 2009 in Jerusalem, Israel. Thousands of alternative lifestyle Israelis and their supporters turned out for the heavily-secured parade and gathering, an event which has previously seen violent demonstrations by anti-gay protesters. (Photo by David Silverman/Getty Images)

[East Jerusalem, June 17. Image via Getty]

A Palestinian girl plays next to Israel's controversial separation barrier in the Palestinian neighbourhood of Beit Hanina in east Jerusalem on June 17, 2009. A Middle East peace deal is possible only if it is forced on Israelis and Palestinians by US-led efforts, one of Israel's best-known authors, David Grossman, has written as he hit out at a speech by Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. AFP PHOTO/MENAHEM KAHANA (Photo credit should read MENAHEM KAHANA/AFP/Getty Images)

[Jerusalem, May 21. Image via Getty]

A Palestinian woman walks past Israeli border guards deployed outside Jerusalem Old City�s Damascus Gate on May 21 2009 as Israelis mark the 42nd anniversary of the �reunification� of Jerusalem. MPs of Israel's ruling right-wing coalition on Thursday presented a bill aimed at blocking any concession to Palestinians on the status of Jerusalem, which Israel considers its 'eternal' capital. AFP PHOTO/MENAHEM KAHANA (Photo credit should read MENAHEM KAHANA/AFP/Getty Images)

[Jersualem, May 21. Image via Getty]

Israeli young women wave national flags during a parade marking Jerusalem Day in downtown Jerusalem, on May 21, 2009. Thousands of Israelis attended a rally in support of Jerusalem as Israel's 'eternal' capital as the Jewish state marked the 42nd anniversary of its capture of Arab east Jerusalem in the Six Day War of 1967. AFP PHOTO / JACK GUEZ (Photo credit should read JACK GUEZ/AFP/Getty Images)

MEGAN: So, apparently we missed the memo yesterday? It was officially name calling day! We should spend the rest of Crappy Hour hurling invective at one another and other people in honor of the holiday, IMHO.
I mean, I don't really see any other reason to invoke Ken Starr or call one's opponent a monster.
Also, according to one of the news stations yesterday, Ickes and Penn got into it this week and devolved down to "Fuck you!" and "No, fuck you!"
MOE: I love that Samantha Power — declared the "smartest woman in America" last month by Marie Claire — gave that interview to the New Scotsman. Ummm what?
I also like how she says "We fucked up in Ohio."
MEGAN: And than is all "Oh, by the way, the headline making thing I just said is, like, totes off the record even though I said nothing would be." Like, was she drunk?
MOE: She sounds drunk. But also: "monster"... okay ... I mean, there's like "created a monster" and "monster trucks" and "cookie monster" and they all kind of have different connotations. Ughhhh but what do I know.
I kind of want Samantha Power for prez now.
MEGAN: Um, also this little gem: "You just look at [Clinton] and think, 'Ergh'."
I'm not saying I don't want to go get drunk with her because, frankly, if that's what she says to reporters sober, well, drinks are fucking on me and let's go somewhere that they'll make 'em strong and keep 'em coming.
But congrats to Obama's ENTIRE foreign policy shop for keeping your guy in the news in a bad way! You did in one week waht Clinton couldn't do in 3 months, and that's tar him!
Ok, well, fine Foolsbee [sic] is econ, but you know what I mean.
MOE: Well I guess this takes away from the whole "disciplined campaign" thing...but...Ken Starr? Ken fucking Starr? Not that I want anyone seeing my tax returns. In fact, I am going to change the subject how bout.
And now how about I call everyone's attention to this somewhat puzzling comment of yesterday regarding Hillary's assertion that she had felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. It's about Smurfette.
MEGAN: Things I thought when tracking back to the Holy Spirit article: OMG, Christian Broadcasting Network? Wait, They have a "senior" national news correspondent? Wait, this article isn't negative? Wow, the right really does want her to win the nomination. OMG, head exploding
Also someone has spent waaaay too much time thinking about the Smurfs.

es
MOE: Um, okay, topic switch. Back to Pennsylvania. Hillary has Governor Ed Rendell on her side, former mayor of Philadelphia, crusty lecherous fat gregarious machine politician known for busting unions and trying to get with writer Lisa De Paulo. His son is an Evangelical Christian, which is weird since he's a Jew, but whatev. Anyway, Anna sent me this story about how Pennsylvania could tip for Obama and I just don't see it. it's just...nah. People take orders from their block captains there, you know? Obama is fucked in Pennsylvania. I'm pretty sure. Fuck, I could be wrong. But you know.
MEGAN: Pennsylvania's a pretty machine state. Of course, the unions screwed the pooch in 04 where they split their own fucking ticket and backed both Arlen Specter and John Kerry, but whatevs.
MOE: Oh look fun, the Economist has turned it into a contest of wine drinkers vs. beer drinkers. I should take this opportunity to point out that Pennsylvania is a very good place to buy wine, as long as you do so before 9 pm., because the state is the largest purchaser of wine in the country, making it like the Wal Mart of decent wines. Props to the antiquated liquor laws; I never appreciated you till I saw Louisiana.
Arlen Specter is the machine. Ed Rendell is the machine. Comcast, the airport, a few law firms, the insurance company...they're all in this together, and none of them are particularly ideological, but if there's one thing they're not big on it's, you know, CHANGE.
MEGAN: Side note: fuck you, Comcast!
Ugh, Pennsylvania politics sound fun, and vaguely mobbed up.
MOE: You know what's also big in Pennsylvania, no surprise? ANARCHISTS. People say "change" and you think "oh those nasty dirty rotten crust punks squatting in the crack den? We thought that place was bad when it was a crack den..." And speaking of anarchists, they took credit for yesterday's terror attack on Times Square by sending postcards to Congress saying "We did it!" whereas Hamas, in stating it didn't bomb that Israeli school, just sent a text message. "We bless this operation. It will not be the last." Just notes on evildoer etiquette.
MEGAN: Except now they're saying that that LA-based anarchist/weird dude is not involved, he's just crazy and a bad writer.
MOE: Ah, so the lesson is, if you want people to take you seriously, just send a text message.
MEGAN: Unless you're dumping the person.
MOE: By the way, the Hamas text message...was that like, a group text message i.e. "karaoke sing sing 11 p.m. come out BYO!!!!" or an individual text message sent to the New York Times??
MEGAN: Dude, why does Hamas have the cell numbers of people for the NYT? Also, I'm guessing it's a blast text.
It's like, is there some terrorist Pr guy who walks around Gaza with a cell full of journalist numbers so he can text message everyone when they bomb stuff or kill people?
if that's the case, btw, I'm pretty sure there world is fucked.
MOE: P.S. did you hear about
>this story in Vanity Fair blaming Bush Condi et al for a botched coup that led to the Hamas takeover of Gaza?
Think on that for a second. I have to brew coffee before I like die or something.
MEGAN: Wow, for an Administration filled with neocons, they certainly didn't learn any lessons from previous Cold War Administrations about how to run a motherfucking coup in a small country in order to install friendly regimes.
Oh, wait, whoops, sorry, they've actually always sucks at it. My bad.

MOE: Apparently even "avowed neocons" were mad about it which is why Cheney's chief Middle East adviser resigned. But yeah, I mean, reading it you're just sort of struck with, wow, Bush was in a big hurry to do SOMETHING with Israel and Palestine...why exactly? Just bored?

"Everyone was against the elections," Dahlan says. Everyone except Bush. "Bush decided, 'I need an election. I want elections in the Palestinian Authority.' Everyone is following him in the American administration, and everyone is nagging Abbas, telling him, 'The president wants elections.' Fine. For what purpose?

"Everyone blamed everyone else," says an official with the Department of Defense. "We sat there in the Pentagon and said, 'Who the fuck recommended this?' "

MEGAN: I want to say that, in Boeing's case, it was bolts or rivets or something
Yeah, I vaguely recall being in anti-counterfeiting meetings with a really lovely Boeing lobbyist and hearing her talk abut that.
MOE: Oh, look, here's a story on airplane parts. Frank Ahrens, didn't he used to cover...something inconsequential I actually used to read about? Music maybe? Good going on the aerospace beat Frank!
MEGAN: OMG, quality control

During a visit to one parts supplier, the inspector general's office observed an employee who "used a piece of paper, scotch-taped to the work surface, as a measuring device for a length of wire on an oil and fuel pressure transmitter."

Related: A League Of Her Own [Men's Vogue]

• Oh yay, the terrorists are taking cues from the school shooters now. A day after Condi leaves Israel, at a religious school known as the birthplace of Zionism. Ten died, some of them clutching Bibles as they fell to the floor. [WSJ]
  
• And lest you thought, well, at least thanks to the troop surge such incidents aren't happening as often in Iraq...yeah. 54 killed, 123 injured. [NYT]
  
• So where do these guys get their weapons? Russians. [Wash Post]
  
• Barack Obama looks like he's winning the Texas caucuses; please do not ask me to explain why. [Fort Worth Star Telegram]

• A Clinton aide compared Obama, somewhat hyperbolically, to Ken Starr. [Politico]
• Hillary is not exactly a Jesus Freak but she is a Holy Spirit Freak which is almost weirder. [CBN]
• Running in stilettos is a lucrative competitive sport in the Netherlands. [MSNBC
• What happens if you lose billions of dollars making unauthorized trades for the giant megabank you work for? You might find yourself making friends with Ramzi Yousef, the Mafia and the Aryan brotherhood. [WSJ]