• Amy Winehouse was supposedly in the hospital because she was sick, but now her dad says:

"It wasn't because she had a cold. She's fine, she just had a little [pointing to his chest] leaky something or other." All together now: What kind of fuckery is this? [The Sun]

• Mariah Carey is supposed to turn on the Christmas lights at a shopping mall in London, and has asked for 20 white kittens and 100 white doves as well as confetti shaped like butterflies to shower her after she emerges from a Rolls-Royce driven on a pink carpet to a podium where she will wave a wand to turn on the lights. A source says: "We did manage to source the doves that we were going to release into the sky, but the kittens proved terribly difficult. In the end, it was made clear that due to health and safety, there was no way we could have the animals." [Telegraph]
• Brad Pitt declined an invitation to the October 31 Grand Prix Ball Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates — even though he was offered $5 million to attend. He went trick-or-treating with his kids instead. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Levi Johnston "made a big show" of sitting in first class. [Page Six]
• Kirsten Dunst is windswept on the cover of Allure, and inside she says that she and ex-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal do not keep in touch: "It would be nice to see him," she says. "But we're not good friends." [Us Magazine via Allure]
• In this Q&A, Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke talks about casting Robert Pattinson as Edward, the "electricity" between Rob and Kristen Stewart when they auditioned for her, the sexytimes the cast got into ("You have this hot, young cute sexy cast and you're out of town at hotels. It's going to happen") and her encouraging RPattz to work out: "He's a Brit and they hit the pubs all the time. They don't look too kindly to gyms." She also says that when he first got cast, there were pix of him out and looking like a slob, and fans of the book were upset that he was Edward Plus: "One day he came to me and said, I got this email forwarded to me about how revolting I am. I said, Rob, you cannot read these things. Don't torture yourself. And he said, I didn't. My mother forwarded that to me." [Time]
• Robert Pattinson was at a signing, where "you kind of get 10 seconds with each person and you never really say anything and I kind of got bored of saying, 'Hey, how are you doing?'" So then: "[A fan] said in her 10 seconds, 'What can I do to get your attention?' I was like um, just take your clothes off." What do you think happened? "She stood there and frantically started taking her clothes off and got dragged out of the room by security. I never felt more terrible." [People]
• Is Nicolas Cage broke because of bad judgment? Or because he lived in a house with bad juju? The manager Cage sued in October countersued last week, claiming he warned Cage not to buy castles in England and Bavaria and that Cage ignored him. The guy claims he told Cage he would need to earn $30 million a year to maintain his lifestyle. But! Cage once owned the notorious LaLaurie House in New Orleans, where a doctor and his wife tortured slaves. According to legend, "Many people have lived there since, but every inhabitant moved out within months or suffered tragedy and death." [Page Six]
• Oprah Winfrey's sit-down with Sarah Palin was the highest rated Oprah show in two years… since the entire Osmond family appeared in 2007. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Victoria Beckham Loves Sex and Salad, Not Burgers." [Us Magazine]
• Asked if she prefers sleep or sex in an interview with Allure, Posh responded: "Sex! I'm getting into bed with David Beckham every night, so, you know, there'd be something wrong if I said 'sleep.'" [The Sun]
• Taylor Swift is suing a sports bar for using her music without permission. [TMZ]
• Janet Jackson's label is putting a lot of effort and cash into promoting her greatest hits album, because they quietly signed her to a new contract next month. [Gatecrasher]
• Leighton Meester needs a doctor who makes house calls. Don't we all? [Gatecrasher]
• Carrie Prejean has been asking Donald Trump for advice; he suggests: "she should become a major porn star, make millions of dollars, and give it to worthy causes." [Page Six]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is dating author Coerte Felske, a "handsome blond," who will be in Real Housewives Of NYC. [Page Six]
• Will Ferrell is Hollywood's most overpaid star, thanks to Land Of The Lost, which cost $100 million and made "only" $65 million. Surely he is trapped in a glass box of emotion right now. [Reuters]
• Brad Whitford, guitarist in Aerosmith, thinks Steven Tyler might be on something: "I suspect there's a lot more going on than we know about. He has a well-documented history of drug abuse, and I find myself very suspicious. I haven't seen him do this or ... have any personal knowledge, but the isolation is very typical of addictive behavior, and his — what I call — irrational behavior." [Reuters]
• Shaquille O'Neal is curating his first art show, titled 'Size DOES Matter.'" [Page Six]
• 50 Cent has opted for tattoo removal. "I took 'em off," he says. I've been on a few acting projects and they been making me get up… My call time is four hours before the regular acting talent because of the tattoos. I've got a project I'm supposed to be doing with Nicolas Cage, called The Dance, it's a boxing film… when you're a fighter you're sweating and with a whole bunch of make-up on and stuff like that, it doesn't look real to me." [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Hudson will play Winnie Mandela in an upcoming film; she says: "I was compelled and moved when I read the script. Winnie Mandela is a complex and extraordinary woman, and I'm honored to be the actress asked to portray her." Of course, she will also do what she does best: Sing the flick's theme song. [Gatecrasher via Variety]
• Heather Locklear's return to Melrose Place gave the ratings a small boost, so she'd better not end up dead in the pool. [NY Post]
• Sherri Shepherd and MVP are so on. [Gatecrasher]
• Joe Francis has tax problems. Serious tax problems. The IRS wants $33,819,087.14 [TMZ]
• Wait, Faye Dunaway owes $1920 in back rent? How much is her rent? How many months is that? [TMZ]
• Hamish Hamilton, who directed the MTV Video Music Awards, will direct the 2010 Academy Awards. Kanye's gonna let him finish… [MSNBC Scoop]
• Zsa Zsa Gabor is okay, her husband insists. "My wife is not dying — it is ridiculous… he gets all the tabloids and she sees the things and she just smiles. She says, 'Tell them I'm still alive.'" [ET]
• "[I decided to do the Tonight Show because of] how shitty it is just trying to develop comedy right now. How dumb ideas are seeming to be rewarded. How a lot of the networks seem to have basically thrown in the towel on comedy and said ‘We just basically don't know what we're doing or what works,' and we just kind of have more stuff where the dad's kind of a jerk, the mom knows best, and everybody just kind of insults each other for half an hour and at the end everybody says they love each other and tune in next week for it all to start again." — Andy Richter. [NY Mag]
• "I was always aware of acting. I remember watching movies on TV when I was young, thinking, 'Oh, come on, that isn't acting.'" — John Malkovich. [Spectator]
• "I've never seen it and nor will I ever. It's a cult. I don't believe in it." — Miley Cyrus, on Twilight. [MSNBC]
• "After we were done, I was like, 'Wow, America is so poor. Just the towns you come across — all that's there are restaurants and gas stations. There are beautiful stretches of pasture, but for the most part, people live simply. The East and West Coast are so different from the rest of America." — Kirsten Dunst and a friend took an "eye-opening cross-country road trip. [Us Magazine via Allure]
• "Having a girlfriend is like playing whiffle ball. Being married is the war in Iraq." — Jerry Seinfeld. [Page Six]
• "There are females doing it, theatrical and a bit over the top. Lady Gaga, Pink, Christina Aguilera — they all put on a show in the spirit of Madonna, dressing up and creating a theme. But there hasn't been a guy do it for a while. In the '70s and '80s there were a lot of artists that did it but for some reason it kind of fizzled out." — Adam "Glambert" Lambert. [Reuters]
• "That image to me seemed really striking and kind of wild. I felt I looked almost inhuman. It was that whole David Bowie-Ziggy Stardust thing where you think he is an alien. It is a weird image and I liked that it was weird. I am weird. I'm nice. But I'm weird. Maybe eccentric is a better word. I'll pick that label." — Glambert, on his album cover. [Reuters]
• "It's funny because Spanish people have no problem with nudity at all… And English people obviously do have the most enormous problem with it. Little things, like when I saw my father getting changed for swimming, I was traumatized by it… I kind of freaked out a bit. [I would get naked for a role but] I think it would depend on what it is. And I don't think a lot of people would really want to see that. I think it would ruin the illusion!" — Robert Pattinson. [NY Daily News]
• "Luke and I are engaged and we'll get married when I want to. But he isn't even 21 yet, so he can't drink in America, so what's the point in getting married until he can?" — good point, Kelly Osbourne. [The Sun]

• Today, a judge extended Lindsay Lohan's three year probation for another year to give her time to complete her alcohol education classes. Her lawyer said she's extremely busy and was only able to complete about half of the classes. [TMZ]

• The judge told Lindsay, "I ordered you into court today because I wanted to speak to you directly. I don't want to get any more notices again [that you might be in violation of probation], no warrants ... where you're thumbing your nose at the court." [People]
• Lindsay was called to court because the Right On Programs reported that she hadn't been attending classes after being granted a leave of absence to work. [TMZ]
• Lindsay is moving to Texas to work on a movie and has requested another leave of absence from the program. The DA says if the court has to jump through hoops for her again, they want her to see jail time. [TMZ]
• A progress review hearing is set for December 15. The judge said to Lindsay, "I'm rooting for you to successfully complete probation." [People]
• TLC is suing Jon Gosselin for allegedly breaking his Jon & Kate Plus 8 contract by appearing on other shows and giving unauthorized interviews. The network also says he shut down filming for his own benefit, not for his kids. According to the suit, after they removed Jon from Kate Plus 8, his lawyer gave the network an ultimatum saying that if he wasn't released from his exclusivity clause within the hour Jon would block the filming of the show. [TMZ, TMZ]
• Jon's lawyer says that TLC has "treated Jon Gosselin like a dog by attempting to keep him on a leash and muzzle him and deny the father of eight the opportunity to earn a livelihood to support his family." [AP]
• Stephanie Santoro said when they were together, Jon Gosselin "told me that he took $100,000. It was either out of Kate's account or the kid's account to open his children's foundation." [Radar Online]
• Michael Jackson says his ideas for his This Is It concert series were the result of divine inspiration. "God channels this through me at night. I can't sleep because I'm so supercharged," he told director Kenny Ortega, adding, "You don't understand — if I'm not there to receive these ideas, God might give them to Prince" (As in "the artist formerly known as", not his sons). [Reuters]
• Joe Jackson has put together a VIP package for the premiere of This Is It which will allow anyone with $3,000 to have a private dinner with him before the show. [Showbiz411]
• Police are investigating a woman's claim that Dennis Rodman reached up her skirt at a Miami party and touched her inappropriately. [Radar Online]
• Nicolas Cage is suing his business manager, Samuel Levin, for $20 million because he claims he led him "down a path toward financial ruin." The lawsuit says Levin failed to pay Cage's taxes on time and "placed Cage in numerous highly speculative and risky real estate investments, resulting in Cage suffering catastrophic losses." [TMZ]
• Last year when the IRS came after Nicolas Cage for writing off $3.3 million in business expenses for things like limo rides, meals, and gifts, Samuel Levin said that was "customary in the entertainment industry" but the IRS didn't agree. [TMZ]
• Before yesterday's "Balloon Boy" incident, Richard Heene had pitched a reality show about his family to several production companies; they all turned him down. [Radar Online]
• Richard Heene also pitched the show to TLC, but the network declined. [TMZ]
• In the Heene 911 call, which you can listen to at the link, Richard Heene says he's sure son Falcon is in his homemade balloon because, "We looked everywhere ... and then my son just said ... yeah, he verified it ... he said yeah he went inside just before it went off... We had it tethered ... it wasn't supposed to take off." [TMZ]
• Though it was reported that David Letterman has extended his contract to stay on the show through 2012, he's actually only signed through August. [Newsday]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch has completed his sentence for tax evasion. [AP]
• Justin Timberlake's mom, Lynn Harless, says, "I have, on occasion, actually beaten him straight up [at golf] ... He took my husband [Paul Harless] and me on a golf trip one time and they were surprised at the end when they added up the scores and I was one up on them ... I have bragging rights for life." [People]
• A month after Martha Stewart said the quality of Kmart's products had diminished she released a statement saying, "Both Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia and I appreciate the long and productive relationship we have enjoyed with Kmart and Sears Holdings. Although we were not able to agree on terms that would have allowed us to continue working together, we wish our friends at Kmart and Sears Holdings all the best." [Reuters]
• The lawyer representing Randy and Evi Quaid in the criminal case over unpaid hotel bills has quit. [Radar Online]
• Kim Kardashian is celebrating her 29th birthday in Las Vegas tonight but Reggie Bush can't make it. "He can't come because of the game," she said. [E!]
• Tim Gunn will have a cameo in SATC 2. [E!]
• While throwing cash at the crowd during the BET show 106 & Park Diddy's $20,000 ring flew off, so he had security frisk 160 people before leaving. It wasn't found. [N.Y. Post]
• Larry Birkhead testified in the preliminary Anna Nicole Smith hearing that he saw her take Topamax, Lasix, Klonopin, Valium, Xanax, Potassium and Methadone, and the bottles all had different aliases on them. [TMZ]
• Marisa Berenson says she wrote her new memoir Moments Intimes because, "It was the right time for me to write about the people I loved and who counted in my life. It's a book about love—things I wanted to tell that are important to me both on a personal and spiritual level." [W]
• Padma Lakshmi doesn't know what she wants to name her baby because, "I just want to see how the baby looks when it comes, and then I'll have some ideas... The name will have to do with my family. I don't think it's going to be called 'Pomegranate' or 'Atlanta.'" [People]
• Spike Jonze says he decided to cast Max Records as Max in Where the Wild Things Are after, "We beat each other up with blow-up boxing gloves and Nerf guns. I was like, ‘Wow, he has a good shot.' So, I cast him." [People]
• Michael Palin says he's obsessed with Mad Men. Some cast members attended the premiere of the Monty Python documentary Almost The Truth: (The Lawyer's Cut) and Palin said, "Everyone's looking for us, but I can't get over seeing the guys from Mad Men." [Showbiz411]
• Paul Shaffer says of the rumor that he was offered the role of George Costanza on Seinfeld, "Just to be clear, I was offered the role of Jerry Seinfeld's sidekick. He had three sidekicks, and I had a feeling mine might've been that role. And any regrets? Well, I mean it was only the most beloved show of all time. ...Truthfully, though, I would have missed the opportunity to play music." [CNN]
• Benicio Del Toro says, "I was about 13 when I lost my virginity, and that first experience was totally a nervous situation. It was in a house with someone I had known only a little bit. She was slightly older, and she'd done it before... I wasn't exactly a natural, but it was good, yeah. I had wanted it to happen for a while." [Daily Express]

• Late last night, TMZ published a report claiming that Maya Angelou had been taken to the hospital. However, a CNN news editor,Saeed Ahmed, posted on his Twitter page that Angelou's literary agent says the hospital rumors are false. [DetroitFreePress]

• A paparazzi cameraman has filed a police report against Sean Penn, after Penn kicked and hit the cameraman Friday afternoon. [TMZ]
• Video is now available of Lindsay Lohan being booed in Singapore last month. Hopefully things go a bit better for her today at her Ungaro runway debut in Paris. [ONTD]
• "I'm young. I know what it's like. Lots of girls want to dress like me," Lohan says of her advising role at Ungaro, "I always like to ask my friends when I buy stuff, or my sister Aliana who's with me in Paris. I'm doing the same thing here, giving my perspective." [Telegraph]
• Simon Cowell celebrated his 50th birthday last night by throwing a birthday party that reportedly cost 1.6 million dollars. [Radar]
• If you ever meet Kristen Stewart, you might want to avoid asking her about her role as Bella Swan: "I feel so boring because Twilight is literally how every conversation I have these days begins," she says. [People]
• Michael Bay posted a note on his website about the production of Transformers 3 that included a PS stating, "Megan Fox, welcome back." [Radar]
• "Oh, girl. People hated me for that. I didn't think it was a big deal until I realized I was the second most Googled person in the country. It was a brain fart! It was my second or third day on 'The View,' and I just got nervous. Barbara asked me if it was round or flat and I said, 'I don't know, I'm just trying to take care of my kid.'When the show was over Barbara came over and said 'Dear, the Earth is round,' and I said, 'Barbara, I know that!'"-Sherri Shepherd [LATimes]
• John Cleese is planning on paying for his divorce by starring in a one-man show appropriately titled the "How To Finance Your Divorce Tour." [Telegraph]
• Clive Owen makes an effort to balance his movie making schedule with his family life: "It's about making sure if I'm away for a long period doing a movie that I take some downtime. I do that now. I make sure I never do anything too close together so that I'm never away from the kids too much." [WashingtonPost]
• Alexsandra Wright, who is suing Beyonce's father, Matthew Knowles, claiming that he is the father of her child, had a role on an episode of Scrubs in 2001. [TMZ]
• When asked about her engagement to John Krasinski, Emily Blunt deadpanned: "All I can say is that there were flutes playing in the background, butterflies, there were angels showering us with rainbow drops." [MTV]
• "Drew had me in mind, I guess, for this role. She called me, and she's got a gift for enthusiasm when she's on fire about something. Then I read the script, and I was really excited. And then I got on some skates and had to do an audition because I lied - you know, like all good actors do, we lie - that I could skate."- Juliette Lewis on her role in Whip It! [EW]
• More details are coming out about the man accused of attempting to blackmail David Letterman; neighbors and colleagues say that Robert Halderman "must have snapped," as Halderman's actions seem completely out of character. "I am surprised, mystified and stunned to hear these allegations against Halderman," says Dan Rather, who worked with Halderman, "They are almost impossible to believe. He was always a solid character, steady, reliable, and a good, swift writer." [People]
• Joe Simpson says his daughter, Jessica Simpson is learning how to handle the criticism aimed at her body by working on her new show, "She's always scrutinized by the world and [it's great] to watch her go to other countries and see women talk about what is beautiful there. We were just in Uganda, and a beauty ambassador [there] knew Jessica's total story about her weight and blah, blah, blah. [She said] to Jessica that it's about who you are inside, which is the message of our show." [USWeekly]
• Jermaine Jackson says that the series of tribute concerts he's planned in honor of his brother, Michael, are not meant to make money off of Michael's death: "That is the most ridiculous thing ever. It is not about cashing in on what has happened. It is responsibility on all of our parts as brothers and sisters to keep his legacy alive." [ShowbizSpy]
• Olivia Newton-John says she still has her hot pants from the set of Grease: "I can still wear them," she says, "But they're locked away in a cupboard. I only bring them out for special occasions. My husband loves them." [TheSun]
• Blind Item #1: Which reality show star refused to put a house keeper on the books, worked her like a slave and paid her spottily in cash with no regard to her Social Secu rity or her husband, who was being treated for cancer? [PageSix]
• Blind Item #2: Which pouty actress was recently spotted acting like a complete lush? She "got drunk and then threw herself all over a clubowner," according to our spies. [PageSix]
• Blind Item #3: Which soon-to-be married heartthrob forced his wedding guests to sign confidentiality agreements before they got their wedding invitations? [PageSix]
• "My family keep me grounded. I still take the subway and do my own laundry. Well, not all of the time, but I'm not a bitch. I enjoy having a normal life."-Mischa Barton [Mirror]
• "I love that we managed an addition to the narrative of the show … There are some definite new elements to the story of these four people that are now part of the whole story … I thought this would be more of a stunt-type thing, but I feel like this is really part of the series now. I would call this a member in good standing with all the other episodes."-Jerry Seinfeld, on tonight's Seinfeld reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm. [EW]
• "I'm a disaster in the kitchen! You know what my secret is for preparing the perfect meal for friends when I invite them over? It's ordering from the best restaurants and having the food delivered."-Beyoncé [ShowbizSpy]

More than 17 million people watched last night's premiere according to Media Week, and Leno beat the combined ratings of the competing network show's by about 7 million viewers. However, the numbers are expected to drop off during the week, especially if critics' reviews reflect how audiences feel about the show.

Critics agree that despite all the hype, The Jay Leno show is exactly the same as The Tonight Show, except Leno seems less enthusiastic and there is no desk between him and the guests. Reviewers say Jerry Seinfeld's interview with Leno seemed too rehearsed, Leno repeated week-old jokes about Joe Wilson, and the fact that he got the first post-VMA interview with Kanye West was just a coincidence, as he was already booked as a musical guest. NBC is committed to keep the show on the air for at least two years, and if the audience that enjoyed Leno's routine at 11:30 is interested in getting to bed a little earlier, the show will probably retain enough viewers to make it a success regardless of what critics think. (After all, it worked with Leno's last gig!)

Time

The Jay Leno Show, NBC has been telling us all summer, was "comedy at 10," not simply a second Tonight Show. Instead, what we got was a monologue, a couple taped comedy bits, an interview, a musical act, another interview and Headlines. Somebody refresh my memory: what was The Tonight Show again? Because clearly I was watching the wrong show all these years.

The Boston Globe

The Jay Leno Show premiered last night with a big old disconnect. NBC's prime-time Jay Leno experiment has been hugely anticipated - both inside and outside the TV industry - since the move was announced in December. It has been called network TV's riskiest change in decades, one that could forever alter the nature of nightly programming. And yet there it was, seeming very, very much like The Tonight Show With Jay Leno,' brimming with the kind of safe, middle-of-the-road humor that has always been Leno's trademark.

Even Leno, while delivering his opening jokes, seemed relatively unenthused about the premiere. He set forth his usual flurry of average one-liners - about Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, and his own ad campaign - with an ordinary energy level, unwilling to be anyone but the easygoing Jay his late-night audience already knows and loves. If he was keyed up and inspired about his new gig, he hid it well.

The New York Times

And Mr. Leno ended his maiden show the way he started it, in his familiar silly and safe Tonight mode. So much attention — and promotion — has been spent deciphering the impact Mr. Leno's 10 p.m. slot could have on prime-time programming, and so much ink has been devoted to describing how Mr. Leno's new show would depart from his old one that it was startling to see how little difference there was. The set was slightly different, and Mr. Leno spoke with his guests in matching armchairs, not across a desk, but the content and tone of the premiere looked and sounded like any ordinary Tonight show.

Slate

Leno, no more unfunny that usual, presided over a set decorated with dark wood and delicate bonsai that evoked horrible memories of paying $16 for well drinks at hotel bars. In one of the show's superficial attempts to play like something other than Tonight, Leno does without a desk, forgoing the authority a slab of lumber confers in favor of a cozier armchair setup. Thus seated, the host did not so much interview guest Jerry Seinfeld as set up his jokes.

The Chicago Sun-Times

And there he was, old reliable, slapping the hands of audience members and making jokes about George W. Bush on a mountain bike. It was almost like he never left. His first comedy bit, about participating on the show Cheaters, was lame and homophobic, although having all members of the love triangle wear argyle sweaters was a nice touch. Leno's just too corny for my taste.

NBC is committed to airing Leno's show for two years, and all the networks are watching closely to see how it goes. All Leno needs are the same 5 million viewers he had in his late-night slot, and the show will be more profitable than what it replaced. That could mean that the future of television will be lower-budget, live-event-oriented, and possibly populated by former game show hosts.

USA Today

Bet NBC wishes Kanye could do Jay every day. Because without Kanye West, and his conveniently timed controversy from the MTV Video Music Awards, NBC's Jay Leno Show premiere Monday would have been even more of a cut-rate, snooze-inducing, rehashed bore. If Leno's desire is to help fans get to sleep earlier, desire satisfied... Leno had promised his new show would not be the same as the old one, but it looked awfully similar. If you found Leno's routine amusing before, you probably found it amusing Monday night. And given his propensity for repeating jokes, you'll probably find it amusing Tuesday night as well.

The Los Angeles Times

It's not a good sign when the Bud Light commercial is funnier than the comedy show it interrupts. Sixteen minutes into the new The Jay Leno Show, it was difficult not to panic. This is the future of television? This wasn't even a good rendition of television past. Clearly Leno believes that if it ain't broke, don't fix it, and he has been very vocal about the fact that his late-night talk show was not broke. So here it is again, different time slot, busier set and same old jokes. Literally.

Newsweek

Much like the Hugh Grant interview, the sitdown with Kanye was a little funny and a little awkward, and while it wasn't particularly illuminating it'll be what everyone is talking about in the morning. There's not much else to talk about, considering there isn't much difference between the new show and Jay's Tonight Show. There's more comedy, though it's of the bland, topical variety that Jay is known for. Jay hosted The Tonight Showfor long enough that audiences came to expect that his middle-of-the-road humore he deals in, but in the earlier time slot it feels out of place. As usual, the monologue was tepid, and a short film about a musical car wash from The Dan Band, one of the comedy correspondents in Jay's new troupe, was interminable.

The Washington Post

They said The Jay Leno Show wouldn't feel like going to bed really early, that it would feel new. But it's like going to bed really early. It feels old. For a lot of people, The Jay Leno Show, which premiered Monday in its game-changing 10 o'clock weeknight format, it might feel perfectly comfy.

Leno asked [Kanye West], who sat frozen at the mention of his mother, who died in 2007. What was weird about this was how quickly West stammered through his repentance ("Obviously, I deal with hurt"), saying he needs to take a vacation from performing and the celebrity grind under which he lives, then recovering immediately to perform with Jay-Z and Rihanna, proving that really, after all the talk, Jay's show is still a place to promote your product, your song, your movie — and in special guest Jerry Seinfeld's case, your Seinfeld reunion on HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm. Leno and his producers kept saying it wouldn't be like this, this usual shill game.

Updated: Leno Lands More Than 17 Million Viewers On Night One [Media Week]

• Madonna's daughter Lourdes, who is 12, was featured her "Celebration" video, which was released yesterday, but there is apparently another version in which Lourdes is dressed up in her mom's wedding dress outfit from "Like A Virgin." [Daily Mail]

• Katherine Heigl is taking a five episode hiatus from Grey's Anatomy to film the romantic comedy Life As We Know It. This is the first time the producers have allowed her to leave the show for an extended amount of time. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Michael Jackson will be buried tomorrow in a private sunset ceremony at Forest Lawn Memorial Park. He'll be interred in the cemetery's Great Mausoleum, where Clark Gable, Jean Harlow, and Carole Lombard were laid to rest. [AFP]
• DJ AM didn't have a will according to documents filed by his mother and she is listed as his sole heir. The documents say his income was more than $3.5 million, but his debts added up to $2.9 million. [TMZ]
• DJ AM's mother was named special administrator of his estate so she can finalize the sale of her son's house in Los Angeles, which he was in the process of selling. [TMZ]
• DJ AM will be buried at 3 p.m. today at the Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary in West Los Angeles after a private funeral. [E!]
• In his interview with ABC News next week Jon Gosselin says of Kate Gosselin, "I took a lot of abuse from her. I was put down. She'll call me, almost like a lame fish. Like I wasn't going anywhere." But Jon didn't take kindly to being a house husband. He says, "Well, excuse me, I'm taking care of the kids. She's on book tours, she's doing all these thing. You know she's gone a week ... comes back. Packs up and leaves again." [People]
• Jon also says during the interview, "What began as friendship has grown into something more. I know that my decision to appear publicly with Hailey this weekend will be scrutinized, but I hope that people can see I'm a regular guy who is going through a very difficult time in life and wants to move forward." [Perez Hilton]
• Florin Cioaba, Romania's self-proclaimed "King of the Gypsies" praised Madonna for speaking out on behalf of Gypsies during a concert, saying, "Madonna is the only international personality to have raised the problem of discrimination against the Roma in Europe." [AP]
• Lily Allen will guest star on as herself in an episode of the Australian soap Neighbours. [Daily Mail]
• Whitney Houston left her Good Morning America concert after singing only four songs saying, "I'm so sorry. I did Oprah. I've been talking for so long. … I talked so much, my voice," she said. "I shouldn't be talking. I should be singing." [People]
• Hayden Christensen's brother, producer Tove Christensen, was arrested this morning for felony assault with a deadly weapon because he allegedly dragged his girlfriend 30 feet while she hung on to the side of his car. [TMZ]
• Sharon Osbourne has been accused of trying to run over a court official while he delivered legal papers to her house. Megan Hauserman says the official was trying to give her documents related to her lawsuit against Sharon for allegedly attacking her during Rock of Love: Charm School. [The Sun]
• You can listen to the 911 call made after Joe Francis allegedly attacked Playboy playmate Jayde Nicole here: [Radar Online]
• Police are reviewing security camera footage taken in the Hollywood club where Joe Francis allegedly assaulted Jayde Nicole. [TMZ]
• Here are some tips for a happy marriage from the Duggars, in case you're having a hard time coping with your 18 + children. [People]
• A chef is suing Simon Cowell and ex-girlfriend Terri Seymour because she claims when she auditioned to work for them they made her change into clear-bottomed sneakers and she left her shoes with $500 orthopedic insoles in their house. [TMZ]
• Boy George's ankle monitor has been removed and his curfew has been lifted. He posted a picture of his foot with the message "In the words of John INman, "I'm free!'" on Twitter. [The Sun]
• A spokesman for the Rolling Stones is denying the rumors that drummer Charlie Watts has left the band. [The Mirror]
• Joyce DeWitt of Three's Company has been charged with DUI over her drunk driving arrest on July 4. [TMZ]
• Lil Mama has apologized to GLADD for making fun of a transgender dancer while judging America's Best Dance Crew this weekend saying, "Leiomy, come on. Your behavior ... it's unacceptable ... You were born a man and you are becoming a woman. If you're going to become a woman, act like a lady ... It gets too crazy and it gets confusing." She said in the statement, "My remarks were never meant to be disrespectful regarding Leiomy's gender nor offensive to the LGBT community, which has been a community that has supported me in all my endeavors. However, in hindsight, I recognize that my words may have come across as hurtful. I spoke with her privately after the taping to express that it was not my intent to offend her or any member of the transgender community." [TMZ]
• An source claims he saw Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart using cocaine at a Hollywood party late last year. "I think Eric and Rebecca were there to get high. It didn't take long before she asked where the coke was. They went into another room and started snorting lines of cocaine. I watched them do it," said the source.
  [National Enquirer]
• The prosecution has finished presenting witnesses in the case of the woman accused of sexually abusing six teenagers at Oprah Winfrey's school for girls in South Africa. [CBS News]
• Justin Timberlake made a surprise appearance at a club in Las Vegas last night and gave everyone a free shot of 901 tequila, saying, "Me and my buddy started a homegrown tequila down in Mexico and I wanted to make sure you guys got a taste, so I bought everyone in the bar a shot." He toasted, "We should all believe in something and I believe it's time for another shot of tequila." [People]
• Cindy McCain is speaking out about her severe migranes, which she says she's suffered with for 15 years but never discussed before. She says she was hesitant to mention how much they hurt because of John McCain's experience as a POW. "There were times when I felt a little bit inadequate with my pain problem," she said. "But I had to get over that because I didn't live in John's shoes and he didn't live in mine. He doesn't always understand [migraines] but he knows they are real." [People]
• Travelodge's released a ‘books left behind index' of the 7200 books abandoned in its UK hotel rooms by its customers in the past year. Jordan's autobiography tops the list. Also in the top 10: John Grisham's The Appeal and The Magic and the Madness, J. Randy Taraborrelli's Michael Jackson biography. [Telegraph]
• Tim Burton says of Johnny Depp, "It's very nice to have someone that you can have a completely abstract conversation with and leave the room, feel like everything's fine, and then realize that if you pick it apart, you have absolutely no idea what either of you said." [MTV]
• "Living with Hef brought down my self-esteem a lot. I was comparing myself to the other girls. You have to look a certain way at the mansion." — Holly Madison [Newser]
• Jerry Seinfeld says of the old Seinfeld set being recreated for the cast's appearance on Curb Your Enthusiasm, "The best analogy is a snow globe. You're walking into a miniature fake environment that has been recreated. As I told people about it, I could go back in your life 10 years and recast your friends, recreate where you live, everything in it exactly how it was, and now somebody with a headset points at you and you walk in now, and there it was, and you go, ‘Jesus Christ, this is my old life!' We all felt like it was a very special experience. Just to go back in time in life is a fantasy." [Hollywood Insider]
• "I've never been the kind of person out on the prowl bedding different girls every night. I went through a two-week phase, but it was really awful. The ‘man about town' thing is so clichéd; I'd hate to think that I was subscribing to any idea of what someone in my position should be like. There's also the slight problem that the type of girl [I] go for would be way less likely to like me because I'm Mark Ronson. They'd much rather be talking to a Klaxon in the corner." — Mark Ronson [Telegraph]
• "What I can't figure out is why I wasted time worrying about my looks. I am a comedian. I'm not on the runway in Milan," says Kathy Griffin. "Believe it or not, people don't come to see me really thinking I'm going to look like Jennifer Aniston." [People]

• After shooting a fight scene for The Bounty, a source says Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were "lovey-dovey" and "we saw him give her a little kiss." He was also throwing peanuts and popcorn in her mouth. [Radar Online]

• Jennifer Aniston feels "rejected and upset" because Bradley Cooper chose Renee Zellweger over her. "She wanted to turn her date with Cooper into something...she honestly feels screwed over," says a source. [Us]
• It's only been a few days since Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn announced that they're divorcing, but he's already been spotted partying with two different women. [TMZ]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall are fighting on the set of SATC 2 because Kim's upset that she just broke up with her boyfriend Alan Wyse. "Sarah is too busy to comfort Kim or worry about her problems at the moment, and she basically told her as much," says a source. "Kim has been moping around, feeling sorry for herself and Sarah basically told her to snap out of it and buck up her ideas." [This Is London]
• Ryan Jenkins has been charged with the murder of Jasmine Flore by the Orange County D.A. [TMZ]
• The murder complaint against Ryan Jenkins says his bail recommendation is $10 million and a wanted poster warns that he's "armed and dangerous." [TMZ]
• The police got a "Ramey Warrent" for Ryan Jenkins that lets them bypass the D.A. and go directly to the judge, which is often used in cases when a suspect is on the run. [TMZ]
• Police have confirmed that Ryan Jenkins has entered Canada. It seems he took a boat from Washington State to Canada, then abandoned the boat and entered the country on foot. [People]
• Ryan Jenkins has business ties to Honduras and that may be his final destination. [TMZ]
• A criminal complaint had been filed against Ryan Jenkins for allegedly hitting Jasmine Flore "in the arm with his fist" in June. [TMZ]
• TMZ has an email Ryan Jenkins sent to Jasmine Fiore three weeks before she was murdered. He wrote: "Your [sic] my angel, despite what we've done to each other." [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson says Michael Jackson's burial has been pushed to August 31, two days after what would have been his 51st birthday because there are still things the family needs to get in order, that apparently they didn't get to in the past two months. [TMZ]
• Katherine Jackson asked a judge to let her show a confidential AEG Michael Jackson memorabilia deal to her financial advisors. AEG has threatened to pull out because the company is worried people are losing interest in MJ. [TMZ]
• Tito Jackson and Gladys Knight will do a U.K. tour called the "Midnight Train to Love," as a tribute to Michael Jackson. Tito will perform songs by MJ and the Jackson 5, as well as music from his upcoming album. [Reuters]
• Promoters for the global Michael Jackson tribute concert in Vienna say the web site crashed half an hour before ticket sales were set to star because a million people had logged on. 85,000 passes are available for the September 26 concert. [AP]
• David Copperfield said (through lawyers during an interview because the reporter started asking her, "Who's your favorite Australian..." The manager thought the reporter was going to ask about Australian designer Katie Perry, who Katy was in a legal battle with earlier this year, but the reporter says she just wanted to know who her favorite Australian artist is. [The Sun]
• Snoop Dogg had to poll the audience during Who Wants To Be A Millionaire because he didn't know the name of the character with an inkblot on his face from Watchmen. He said, "Man I seen that movie too and I fell asleep on it." [The Sun]
• Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Oz are suing a websites for products like "Colon Pro Cleanse, Power Colon Cleanse, Colon Max" that feature their images, names, and voices. Their lawyers say the companies are cashing in "on the false premise that [the products] have been tested or recommended by Miss Winfrey and/or Dr. Oz when they have not." [TMZ]
• Oprah Winfrey is planning a huge party for the 10th anniversary of O, The Oprah Magazine, in May. She may hold a concert at Radio City Music Hall or close down New York's West Side Highway for a charity event. [E!]
• At first the owner of the Centerville Pie Co. on Cape Cod denied that she sold Oprah Winfrey's entourage 20 pies, but Oprah herself called the Cape Cod Times to say, "the pie-gate escapade actually did happen." [AP]
• Paula Abdul was in negotiations to play Helen on Ugly Betty but was replaced with Kristen Johnston due to her list of demands, which possibly included a private jet. Johnston said, "I've always considered myself the poor man's Paula Abdul." [Entertainment Weekly]
• Richard Hatch was serving out the end of his sentence on house arrest but was returned to prison on Tuesday when he gave an unauthorized interview to NBC and now the ACLU is getting involved. A spokesman said, "It's appalling to think that he has been sent to jail merely for speaking to the media about his own court case." [AP]
• Bjork and her husband Matthew Barney are buying a co-op in Brooklyn. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Jordan Scott, who wrote an obscure vampire novel called The Nocturne is suing Stephenie Meyer because she says she stole ideas from her book for Breaking Dawn. [Reuters]
• Though it was reported that Lady Gaga would be toning things down when her tour stopped in Israel, at her last performance she faked an orgasm onstage and screamed, "Get your dicks out. Cause I heard there some pretty big cocks here in Israel!" [ONTD]
• Claire Danes is wearing fishnets and a leotard on the cover of BlackBook here: [BlackBook]
• "Life, that's what this record is about... It's so easy for me to do a boy-bashing pop song, but to sit down and write honestly about something that's really close to me, something I've been through, it's a totally different thing." — Avril Lavigne on her new record. [Rolling Stone]
• You can watch the new video for "Run This Town" featuring Jay-Z, Rihanna, and Kanye West here: [Just Jared]
• Jared Kushner asked for Donald Trump's permission to marry his daughter, Ivanka Trump. She says, "I thought it was adorable." [People]
• RHOA's Nene Leakes says despite co-star Kim Zolciak's accusations, she hasn't been cheating on her husband, Gregg Leakes, with NFL player Charles Grant. Nene says, "Charles is not anybody I'm seeing. I want to know where Kim gets the information from." [Star Magazine]
• Bill Cosby will be presented the Mark Twin Prize for American Humor at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts by Jerry Seinfeld in October. [AP]
• Mickey Rourke says of filming The Wrestler, "I'm not 20 years old any more and when they throw your ass down, something is gonna hurt. My back would go out, my knee would go out. I had three MRIs in the first two months. If they would say they want to make Part 2, I would say, 'No, thank you.'" [AP]
• Lucy Clarkson, the model for Lara Croft says she had bulimia. "It makes me angry when I see very thin celebrities who are clearly not their natural body shape denying it. That sends out the wrong message. There are girls as young as five saying they think they are too fat," says Clarkson. "The industry wants you to look a certain way. For Lara Croft they wanted me to be quite muscular, so I was working out with a personal trainer. My curves were in demand from lingerie companies and men's magazines, but the fashion world pressured me to be skinny." [The Star]
• Kourtney Kardashian gives a run through of all the baby gifts she's already received at the link, but says she and boyfriend Scott Disick are also studying up on childbirth online. She says, "We watch these videos together on some random Web site I found called healthguru.com. They have videos which tell you what to expect, like the size of the baby at different stages, what the baby is doing inside. They're cool. Neither of us have read a book, but we're going to." [People]
• Apparently it's standard now to ask pregnant women if they'd pose nude. Kourtney Kardashian said: "I think so. I'd have to think about it." [Us]
• Heidi Klum says she and Seal won't be having any more kids after their fourth child is born. "We're outnumbered," say Klum. "Four is perfect. Three is a lot. But four? It's a lot of work. We're hands-on, and we feel like this is what we can handle." [USA Today]

• You may want to just give up on life: Kristin Cavallari is getting $63,000 per episode to "play" a "villain" on The Hills. [PopCrunch]

• A hotel employee on Madonna's backup dancers: "Horrible." "Notoriously difficult… rude… presumptuous and cheap." [Page Six]
• Breaking: Uncle Jesse John Stamos is "conceptualizing" a Full House feature film! The Tanners' triumphant return! [Gatecrasher]
• David Carradine's death is still a mystery — he was found in a sitting position, but with a yellow rope attached to a closet bar around his neck. "We believe that Mr. David committed suicide but it is suspicious," says a police official in Bangkok. [People]
• Further details show that David Carradine may have died "from "auto-erotic accident." [Yahoo News via AFP]
• David Carradine will be seen on his Tuesday's episode of Mental. [E!]
• "Britney Jean Spears was not born into a stable home. She was born into a dysfunctional disordered one because of her father's alcoholic rages… She was on Prozac at 18… Britney was prescribed Prozac but she treated it like headache tablets, taking a pill only on the days she awoke depressed. This seemed to make her more manic…" [Mirror]
• While Britney's in London, she'd like to drop in on the Queen. [Mirror]
• Susan Boyle is out of the hospital and already has an offer to perform for Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher — for £30,000. Also, the portrayal of her as a crazy cat lady persists, since this paper claims she left the clinic because "she could no longer bear to be parted from her family, friends and beloved cat Pebbles." [Daily Mail]
• Krist Novoselic, former bassist for Nirvana, is running for clerk of Wahkiakum County in western Washington. Apparently he is running under the "Grange Party" banner, even though the Grange isn't a political party; it's a protest of the state's system that lets candidates say what party they prefer when running for office. [USA Today]
• The Slumdog kids are in Hong Kong today, where they will sing and dance (?) at a charity event. [AP]
• Lance Armstrong Tweeted in the voice of his new baby boy, writing: "Wassup, world? My name is Max Armstrong and I just arrived. My Mommy is healthy and so am I!" [E!]
• The woman who claims she was assaulted by Sacha Baron Cohen while he was filming Bruno says her injuries are "life-altering," as she suffered brain bleeds and sometimes requires assistance walking. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Lopez was "really nervous" before working on her new flick, the Back-Up Plan, because, she says, "What if I forgot how to act?" Or! What if you were never really good at it in the first place??? [National Enquirer]
• Jay-Z will release his Blueprint 3 album on Sept. 11. Interesting choice of date. [Billboard]
• Living on St. Lucia has had an affect on Amy Winehouse's sound and she is recording with "local musicians" who play traditional island instruments. Sounds… awesome? Whatever, just release some new music! [The Sun]
• Kelly Bensimon — seen here in a rather see-through dress — says of Real Housewives: "I think it was not exactly me just because I was incredibly guarded. I was a nervous wreck! Like after the show, Jill said to me, 'You're such a nice person, why weren't you like that on the show?' I felt badly too because I didn't get to see the real me." So you were being fake then? Interesting. Oh, she also says: "On Planet Kelly, everything is happy, the grass is really green, people are really really nice .... There's, like, fun everywhere and there's excitement and new opportunities all around. It's a really great place - you should come!" [NY Mag]
• Amanda Seyfried's latest film, Letters To Julliet, starts shooting soon, but her leading man hasn't been cast yet. Who would you like to see Amanda fall in love with? [Telegraph]
• Wait! Gael Garcia Bernal has signed on to star with Amanda Seyfried in Letters To Juliet. [Variety]
• Sienna Miller and some other celebs wrote a letter to Nobu restaurant in London which reads: "We feel strongly that blue fin tuna must be completely removed from your menu as it is an extremely endangered animal." [The Sun]
• Other celebs protesting the use of blue fin tuna: Woody Harrelson, Elle Macpherson, Sting, Trudie Styler, Charlize Theron, Stuart Townsend and Alicia Silverstone. [Page Six]
• "Agency Feeding Frenzy Over Ice Cube." The actor/rapper, not the unit of frozen water. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Kate Beckinsale was supposed to play Barbarella in the remake? But lost out to Rose McGowan? Hmm. We'd always heard it was Rose. [Daily Express]
• This review of a recent Mandy Moore show claims that she was "strangely tentative onstage" until the last song, a "rootsy" cover of her pop hit, "Candy," which she "seemed to enjoy more than anything else in the set." [NY Times]
• Shannen Doherty is selling her Malibu home, which has interesting contemporary architecture and a pretty nice pool. Also dig the exposed beams in the living room. [CasaSugar]
• In other 90210 news, Jason Priestley will direct and online series called The Lake. [Reuters]
• Is Jennie Garth a Twihard? She makes husband Peter Facinelli dress up as his Dr. Cullen character all the time, he claims: "She says, 'Put the doctor's coat on!' I'm like, 'Again?'" [Gatecrasher]
• M.I.A. has a record label called N.E.E.T. and this track, "Bang!" is from Rye Rye, the first artist signed. Just the thing to get jumpstarted on a sleepy Friday. [ConcreteLoop]
• "Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal planned to wed in Germany this spring but organisers couldn't arrange the big day in time." [Daily Express]
• Gene Simmons passed a kidney stone and promptly sold it on eBay — for charity. Charming! [Mirror]
• "Boris Becker goes wedding dress shopping with his fiancée Lilly Kerssenberg." She is awfully pretty. Together they certainly cut a figure. [Daily Mail]
• Phil Spector's 28-year-old wife denies she is a gold digger: "I don't take anything from my husband, and I never have. I'm a good person, but people don't see any of that or know how hard I work. I can weed whack. Rip out walls. Lay tile." Also, her pantsuit is 10 years old. "I've had this since high school." She does, however, wear a 9-carat diamond she and 69-year-old Spector "designed together." And now that he is in jail, she always has her hot pink BlackBerry with her: "I never know when he is going to be allowed to call. Whenever he calls, I answer." [LA Times]
• RIP Shih Kien, who played Bruce Lee's enemy in 1973's Enter the Dragon. [AP]
• "Being married is like being on a game show and you're always in the lightning round. I have a podium in my living room, and in the morning I hit the clicker button: 'I'll take Movies That I Think We Saw Together for 200.' The woman is always the returning champion from last week: 'I'll take Details of a 10-Minute Conversation We Had at 3 in the Morning Eight Years Ago...' " — Jerry Seinfeld. [E!]
• "I still can't believe we have a president who is mixed like me. It's one thing that we have a black president but for me it's even crazier because he's mixed. I feel like I come from a smaller off shoot of black people because I am mixed. People say I'm African American but that doesn't include the other half of me. I can't believe I'm living in a time where I feel proud of my president where I feel like things are actually positive and people feel good about where our country can be." — Maya Rudolph. [Women & Hollywood]
• "[Nurse Jackie] is physically low maintenance — that was a huge appeal. Very much like I am. I didn't want to spend a lot of time in makeup. On Sopranos, the nails, the hair, the makeup and the jewelry was very not who I am. It was fun, but after eight years I was ready to try something else." — Edie Falco. [Reuters]
• "All directors compare themselves to Orson Welles, who did his masterpiece at 26. So when you start and you're nearly 40, you're like, 'Oh god, I'm so behind.'" — Michel Gondry. [Independent]
• "I have a pretty amazing personality, and I'm pretty intelligent. Don't just write me off as a pinup" — Megan Fox to Elle. [Page Six]
• "A very smart person told me once what other people think of me is none of my business. ... I do not Google myself. I know that's only going to end badly." — Edie Falco. [Reuters]
• "We do not hang out." — Jill Zarin on the Real Housewives Of New Jersey. [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't know why that's either untapped or overlooked or not done well because there is really no excuse for it. This is a perfect example of it [being well done]. It's not as if women don't exist. I will say that in general there is a lot of crap in the world. It wasn't until I was thrown in the water on day 1 of Saturday Night Live where they said you write for yourself. That's what everyone does. I learned the enormous power of writing for yourself, especially now that people seem to be receptive to the fact that women can write." — Maya Rudolph, who stars in Away We Go, on why women are sometimes underwritten or ignored in Hollywood films. [Women & Hollywood]
• "I can't think of anything more horrible than sharing what I'm doing all day" — Renée Zellweger to Glamour on why she won't use Twitter. [Page Six]

• New details on Rihanna: The warrant detailing the entire assault has been released, her family says she's changed her contact information, and her rep isn't denying that she and Chris are engaged.

• A search warrant affidavit based on "Robyn F."'s statements was filed to obtain cell phone records for Rihanna, Chris, and one of Rihanna's personal assistants. The report alleges that Chris beat Rihanna while driving and tried to push her out of his car. Rihanna called her assistant during the attack and pretended to tell her, "I am on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there," but she got the assistant's voicemail. Chris said: "You just did the stupidest thing ever. I'm going to kill you." The report says he put her in a headlock and she almost lost consciousness. You can read the entire document here: [The Smoking Gun]
• Law enforcement sources say that on the night of the attack, Rihanna said Chris had been violent to her in the past and the attacks were getting more violent. [TMZ]
• The tabloid magazines are insisting that Rihanna and Chris are either married or engaged, and when her reps finally responded, this is what they said: "Sorry for the delayed response, but we aren't able to offer anything right now but will keep you in posted if that changes." Are they not in touch with Rihanna or is it possible that the story is true? [Perez Hilton]
• Rihanna's dad, Ronald Fenty, says that he and Rihanna's mother and brother can't reach her anymore because her phone numbers and email have been changed. He said of Chris Brown being charged: "Justice can never be served in this situation. He can't feel the pain she felt. I don't believe in hitting a woman. I hope everything works out better for them. I don't feel happy or sad. He's in the court's hands. Let justice prevail." [Us]
• Whoever runs Chris Brown's MySpace picked today to post a reminder to vote for Chris for the Kids Choice Awards. [MySpace]
• Jaime Lee Curtis wrote a post on the Huffington Post complaining about the New York Times story on President Obama going gray. "Give me a f-ing break," she writes. "Are we really so deluded ... that we are focusing even one inch of a column of this venerable institution, the New York Times as well as every other outlet, Huffpost included, on the president's hair color?" [The Huffington Post]
• A Beatles version of Rock Band is coming out in September. Instruments modeled after the ones uses by the band will be sold to go with the game. [AP]
• In this video from last night's David Letterman, U2 read the Top Ten List and The Edge goes off script and makes fun of Sting. [E!]
• Watch the new Wolverine trailer, with many gratuitous shots of a shirtless Hugh Jackman here: [Perez Hilton]
• Former Monkees guitarist Peter Tork has been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in his tounge. He has Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma, a cancer of the head and neck, but says his prognosis is good. [The Daily Mail]
• Miley Cyrus's boyfriend, Justin Gaston, was once on the cover of an European teen magazine called Electric Youth! wearing a Speedo. [Perez Hilton]
• Julia Roberts was invited to be one of the former winners presenting awards at the Oscars but turned the Academy down. "My husband had been away and just returned home so I felt it best to stay home and welcome him and be with my family," she said. "That was my priority so we watched the show on television." [The Telegraph]
• Oprah is going to talk about her interview with Michelle Obama on Friday's show and share pictures. The interview will appear in the next issue of O Magazine. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Robin Williams has postponed his comedy tour because he needs heart surgery. He's getting an aortic valve replacement and hopes to be able to work again in the fall. [TMZ]
• Politico has an "exclusive" interview with Brad Pitt in D.C. ... in which he doesn't say a word. [Politico]
• Dr. Laura is criticizing Kohl's on her blog for choosing Britney Spears to represent their brand Candie's. Kohl's answered one of her reader's complaints, saying Brit "personifies the iconic ‘Candie's Girl:' flirty, self-confident, and stylish." Dr. Laura says, "How 'bout 'piggish, out of control, and irresponsible parent?'" [Dr. Laura Blog]
• Vince Vaughn is actually engaged to 29-year-old Calgary realtor Kyla Weber, according to her dad. [Montreal Gazette]
• Blake Lively says when Gossip Girl returns on March 17 Serena will have a new love interest and "You get to see a little bit of the economy reflected on our show. There's a bit of a Bernie Madoff-type thing happening." [USA Today]
• Adele is apologizing to Justin Timberlake because she was overwhelmed backstage at the Grammys and didn't realize it was him when he congratulated her. "Justin, I love you and I'm really sorry ... for making it seem like I didn't want to meet you," says Adele. "I really did – and I don't think we can ever be friends because you're just too much. You're too good!" [Peopel]
• In this video a paparazzi asks Michelle Rodriquez, "How's your community service going?" and she shoots back, "How's your dick sucking going brother?" [Jossip]
• You can watch the commercial Helen Hunt directed for Frito-Lay snack brand TrueNorth here: [Ad Week]
• D.L. Hughley Breaks the News will end its run this month. CNN says Hughley approached them about ending the show because he wants to move to L.A. [Media Bistro]
• Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, and Michael Richards will be featured on a multi-episode story arc on HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm this fall. [Entertainment Weekly]
• [AP]
• On the set of The Burning Plain Mexican director Guillermo Arriaga's friend Adrian would teach Charlize Theron swear words in Spanish and have her repeat them to the director. Theron says: "Adrian was like 'Go to Guillermo and say... I can't remember now, and I would say it really loud and half the crew understood it!" [The Mirror]
• Taylor Swift says: "My friends and I took pride in the fact that we were the weirdest girls at our school. We never fit in with the cool girls because we didn't really care what people thought. We had so much fun goofing off and being being crazy. We would go out to dinner in our prom dress, accessorized with scarves, fingerless gloves and costume jewelry. Sometimes we'd draw a beauty mark on our faces, wear a tiara and funny slippers. We didn't care!" [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Caine is playing an old man forced to enter a nursing home in his new film Is Anybody There? He says: "I don't think of me as an old man ... I play a guy, 75, 76, and I tell myself, 'He is not you. He is him. He's very sick. He is getting dementia. And he has a much harder life than you have.' I always like to stretch myself and do films that interest me. I thought he was a wonderful old man. I really loved him." [USA Today]
• Roseanne Barr wrote another lengthy blog post about Rihanna and Chris Brown. She says that Rihanna is sending out the message through her publicity team that she provoked Chris so he's not to blame. "I just know from experience that this is how show business works to conceal and excuse domestic abuse," she says. "I also know from experience that it is common that the woman throws the first insult or punch. the big dirty secret is that violent men are with violent women and vice versa. They continue to stay together so they can continue to be violent, break up and then make up, involving all their families and their friends in the whole sick and stinking charade. They both need to go to jail, if in fact she did hit him or terrorize him psychologically. I lived through this crap, and I know how it goes." [The Life Files]

• Rihanna is currently on a beach in Mexico, and this picture on the cover of the NY Daily News is the first we've seen of her in a long while. [NY Daily News]

• Chris Brown's March 5 arraignment may be postponed because the LAPD is still investigating the case. A source told E! News, "The D.A. is being even more thorough than usual with this case. They don't want to mess it up." [E!]
• Kevin Federline is starting his own children's clothing line because he doesn't want to pay a lot for jeans. He says: "It's a really tough business, I'm trying to take it seriously and make a quality product for kids but not have parents pay like $500 or something ridiculous for a pair of jeans. You buy your kids a pair of True Religions, then they roll around in the dirt like kids do and a $200 pair of jeans is gone. With this economy, I'm looking to do something much more reasonable." Uh… All you have to do is shop at The Children's Place or Old Navy or Target or somewhere they don't sell True Religion for children. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meanwhile, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are suing baby buggy company Silver Cross, claiming the manufacturer unlawfully used a picture of the celebrity parents pushing twins Emme and Max in their strollers. Don't you know if you want J. Lo and Marc to endorse your product, you have to pay? [E!]
• It's hard to focus on this story about how Lily Allen likes naked lapdances and partying with Lindsay Lohan because the picture of Lily and Lindsay wearing black masks and showing off their "shh" tattoos is oddly mesmerizing. Question: Did we ever figure out what LL meant when she said the "shh" tattoo was a "woman empowerment thing"? [The Sun]
• Katie Holmes may be working on a flick in New York, but she plays "fourth fiddle" behind Kevin Kline, Paul Dano and John C. Reilly. Fox's Roger Friedman calls her movie career "over." [Fox 411]
• Slumdog's Dev Patel is in talks to appear on the real Who Wants To Be A Millionaire to raise cash for kids living on the streets. [The Sun]
• What's next for the stars of Slumdog? Lots more movies. [NY Daily News]
• Madonna is helping Rosie O'Donnell get through menopause. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Dita Von Teese signed a record deal. She will be singing now. Of course, she won't be warbling "All The Single Ladies" or anything: She plans to cover Irving Berlin's "Lazy." [E!]
• Keira Knightley was to play Cordelia in a £25 million film version of King Lear, but it's been scrapped. [Telegraph]
• Peaches Geldof was not allowed to drink at the NME awards; she placed an alcohol ban on herself. [Daily Mail]
• Jay Leno was questioned by a Writers Guild panel yesterday; they are trying to determine if he violated strike rules by delivering a monologue last year (during the strike). [Variety]
• LOL: Ever since Kellogg's dumped Michael Phelps, there have been oodles of negative stories about the brand. [Silicon Alley Insider]
• DMX is in jail, where he is not behaving himself: He stole a tray of food from the dining hall and threw it at a corrections officer. How would they handle this on Oz? [Perez]
• Chris Isaak has his own talk show, The Chris Isaak Hour, on the Bio channel. It starts tonight! Guests play songs and chat and hang out with Chris's dog. [USA Today]
• If you get divorced, the guys you date afterward, who put a "spark" back in your heartbroken life — Jennifer Aniston calls them "defibrillator men." [Daily Mail]
• "Big Poppa" has moved in with Real Housewives' Kim Zolciak. Yeah, he's married. [NY Daily News]
• In case you've been wondering what the hell she's been up to, Kate Bosworth is producing the film based on a book called Lost Girls and Love Hotels. [Gatecrasher]
• What the world needs now: A Jerry Seinfeld marriage-oriented reality show. Celebs, comedians and athletes will "judge couples in the midst of marital disputes while recommending various strategies to resolve their problems." I thee dread! [Hollywood Reporter]
• Brenda Blethyn opened a new library in her hometown and paid a fine for a book she borrowed 50 years ago. Bet Hortense loves this one. [The Sun]
• Clint Eastwood is the second person ever to received a lifetime achievement honor from the organizers of the Cannes Film Festival; he hot the Palme D'Or yesterday. Ingmar Bergman got one in 1997. [Reuters]
• The James Brown museum may be on hold, but there is a James Brown exhibit at South Carolina State University. See glittering suits and glossy shoes and the comb he used to neatly sculpt his hair. [AP]
• Star Jones's ex, Al Reynolds, is maybe getting engaged again, if you care. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which sleazy reality star is going to have a cow when he finds out there's a sex tape of him floating around? In it, he's having a threesome with his very best friend." [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm probably a little bit shocked but I remember the overwhelming thing was feeling like I was just floating on a cloud. I went into that event knowing that was my last rally but no one else knew that. So when I crashed and I realised we were both OK, it was a massive relief." — Eric Bana, on crashing his race car during a Tasmanian rally. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I sincerely hope that this tragedy will make people realize that great apes should never be kept as pets or exploited for films, television, or advertising. Their lives are miserable from the day that they are taken from their mothers... until they are cast off to roadside zoos or meet a violent end, as Travis did in this tragic case." — Anjelica Huston, on the chimpanzee attack. [Daily Express]
• "I think that at 12:30, either you're awake or you're not. I don't think the 10 p.m. will affect me at all. If we can do decent ratings, hold on to Conan's numbers, I'll be happy. It's a marathon, not a race. It's a long, long thing if it's going to work." — Jimmy Fallon. [USA Today]
• "The stars made by television who were once so big you just couldn't believe it-Johnny Carson, Carol Burnett, people like that, Sid Caesar-they were enormous stars made by television, but there were lots of real stars in America. Now everything is so vitiated because there is so much media, if we want to dignify a lot of it, it begins to just all run together. At least when you said "Clark Gable" or "Elizabeth Taylor" or "Katharine Hepburn," you knew exactly who you were talking about, you didn't have to explain them. Now you have to talk about people like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears and the people on the American Idol. I mean, it's very diminished in quality, I guess is what I'd say, the quality of stardom. Because I don't know who most of those people are. I'm not kidding! I read Page Six mystified every day, and everybody I talk to agrees with me. They don't know who anybody is." — Liz Smith. [The Daily Beast]
• "A real gossip story is Lana Turner's daughter killing Johnny Stompanato. It had all kinds of tragic ramifications-celebrity, sex, a little girl involved and so forth. I mean, who cares if somebody you've never heard of is sniffing cocaine in a bathroom down in Soho? That's the level of gossip today. There seems to me to be no real stories and the real ones all appear in the headlines-A-Rod taking steroids, though why anybody gives a shit I don't understand. You know, the real story of this year is Bernie Madoff, and betrayal, disaster and everything else, lives being smashed and ruined by somebody's criminal activity. But gossip? Even the ‘90s are beginning to look good." — Liz Smith. [The Daily Beast]
• "I thought that was something that you could use for humor, like any other comedian or someone else would utilize current events. After I saw the photographs of Rihanna, that wasn't funny anymore. There's a point you're already past a woman fighting you back. You look at (the photograph), and it obviously went past that point, so there's some issues there that definitely gotta be addressed. Not to take any shots at Chris or Rihanna or to take sides in any way, but it's really not cool. It's not funny at all anymore. That's why there won't be no more references to that from me in any way." — 50 Cent, who initially mocked the Rihanna/Chris Brown incident with a "Street Fighter"- like characters in an animated video. [MSNBC]
• "I was average. I had a lot of friends but I was not in that ultra cool circle. I was a bit of a class clown. I guess to get through the tedium of the quadratic formula, I thought everyone was fair game. Between self-discovery and the social hierarchy, high school can be the most confusing time of your life." — Zac Efron. [Mirror]
• "I'm so negative against her. She just shouldn't have any of those children as far as I'm concerned. I know that's going to get me in a whole mess of trouble, but I don't know where her mind is. She says the strangest things. I don't think she's doing drugs, but she acts like someone who is not of this world. It's like, 'hello, come down to Planet Earth with the rest of us!'" —Cher, on Nadya Suleman. [USA Today via ET]
• "My mom is like this hard-core, liberal feminist. She's a professor in Boston, and she's been teaching women's studies for 30 years and international politics. So I've traveled, and I've heard so many women's stories, and I've heard stories of really, really hard lives. And I just feel like there are so many stories to be told, and it's hard to find someone who can sort of intertwine them with the right kind of action and suspense and use genius metaphors ... while striking a chord with the universal theme of the search for one's true identity. I asked Joss [Whedon] to create it with me and for me, and it was really special to me." — Eliza Dushku, star of Dollhouse. [USA Today]

• New research suggests that single mothers spend close to the same amount of time with their children as married mothers and the only determining factor in time difference has to do with socio-economic, not marital, status. • Joran van der Sloot, the Dutch man suspected of being involved in the disappearance of Natalee Holloway, first claimed and then denied that he had sold Holloway to a Venezuelan man in Aruba in 2005. • A poem that Paul McCartney wrote for the late comedian Spike Milligen sold for £6,000 at a recent auction. • Meanwhile, a document that may reveal the real Eleanor Rigby of the famous Beatles' song is going to auction on Thursday. • The recent online suicide of Abraham Biggs has brought some attention to the stigma against mental health treatment among black men and their high suicide rate. • A Russian investigator claims that the Georgians have deployed a group of female snipers from Ukraine and Latvia which some says recalls the mythical "white tights" of Chechen war lore. • The Moor Arabs of rural Mauritania view rotund women as desirable and often send girls to "fat farms" where they are force fed fattening foods to gain weight. • Want to bring your hamsters with you everywhere you go? Now you can with this smart-looking hamster vest! • The Ministry of Women's Affairs in the UK released a report that revealed that a quarter of the female population in Cambodia face domestic abuse and many Cambodians think it is acceptable for a husband to assault his wife. • The new schools minister in the UK says that she believes single-sex science lessons would be good for girls who may feel that boys hog the limelight. • Parents in Claremont, California are clashing over a 40-year-old tradition of having Claremont kindergartners dress in pilgrim and Native American costumes for Thanksgiving, which one mother calls "dehumanizing" to Native Americans. • More on Eri Yoshida, the first female — and youngest — professional baseball player in Japan: some critics claim that she is making fair competition between men and women in sports look easy and that her recruitment was purely for publicity. • Facial Yoga: a good way to ward off wrinkles or just a silly hoax that involves making goofy faces? • A trial of peer-led sex education in England found that it was not more effective at reducing teen abortions but that it was preferred over teacher-led sex education. • Meanwhile, anti-choice groups in England are allowed to give presentations in schools where they are winning converts to the anti-choice cause by showing students images of rare and graphic abortions of fetuses from later terms of pregnancy. • Santa Clara County — home to Silicon Valley — is the lowest ranked county in California for hiring women in leadership roles. • Nuskaal, an Afghan teacher who was burned by acid attacks on female schoolchildren and teachers earlier this month, wants the Afghan government to throw acid on her attackers and then hang them. •

• Michael Phelps will host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. Um, swimming skits? Will you watch if he's not bare-chested? Just asking. [Yahoo News]
• Lindsay Lohan responds to the stuff her dad's been saying: "He’s out of control. I want him to stop hurting and talking to the media about the people I love." [Perez Hilton]
• Sam Ronson responds to LL's dad too: "i really don't want to say anything because i feel like he wins- he, being the man who is so desperate for attention that he goes to the media whenever possible… i am not the reason that he has no contact with his daughter… i feel no need to publicly defend my role in lindsay's life… i'm just sorry that she likes me more than him… i'm not the one that is so lost that i need to use my relationship with lindsay to earn a living…" There's more! [Perez Hilton]
• Hilary Duff's dad was sentenced to 10 days in jail for contempt of court for violating a court order that prohibited him from selling off assets without the consent of his estranged wife, Susan. Susan was requesting $25,000 to celebrate Hilary's 21st birthday (9/28), and pretty much calling Bob Duff a deadbeat dad for not paying up. On one hand, surely Hilary has her own cash? On the other hand, a father has to do what a father is legally obligated to do. He was taken from the courtroom in handcuffs… [Yahoo News]

• No Britney at the MTV Awards? "Contrary to media reports, Britney was never slated to perform on this year's VMAs," Brit's manager, Larry Rudolph, says. "She's in the middle of recording her next album, which is going amazingly well, and her focus remains on the studio." So why was she in the commercials with Russell Brand and an elephant? Is this an elaborate ruse? [AP]
• Ladies, listen up: Gerard Butler likes women to make the first move. "I am for equal opportunities. Why should it be the guy's job to kiss? If a woman wants to kiss she should totally do that. I think it is awesome when women take the lead. I love that idea." Oh and click the link to see a very nice (and by nice I mean shirtless) pic. [ONTD]
• Woody Allen had dinner with Jennifer Aniston. Could she replace Scarlett Johansson as his new film muse? [Yahoo News]
• Solange Knowles: "I have to say, that was not a very professional introduction before. Please don’t tie me into family and my brother-in-law’s establishment." News anchor: "That wasn't live, Solange. That wasn't on live TV." Yes, there is video. [Just Jared]
• Kate Moss naked in Interview magazine. [The.Life Files]
• Britney may not be at the MTV awards, but Katy Perry will be. And MTV producers are looking for a lady she can kiss while she sings, "I Kissed A Girl." They want Lindsay Lohan. Think it's gonna happen? [E!]
• Salma Hayek's ex-fiancé and baby daddy, billionaire heir François-Henri Pinault, has a new ladyfriend, equestrian Virginie Couperie. Here are pictures of them enjoying a "saucy holiday romp in Tuscany." The ONTD commenters have proclaimed Virginie a "downgrade." [Rush & Molloy]
• Naomi Campbell's beau, Russian billionaire Vladimir Doronin dropped $18.5 million on a penthouse apartment for Naomi in Sao Paolo. She's thinking of settling down in Brazil. [Page Six]
• So you know how there's a transgender contestant this cycle on America's Next Top Model? Janice Dickinson says: "I did it on my show first with Claudia (Charriez). But you know what? There’s not going to be a moment where Tyra’s not going to knock me off, so I’m not bothered by her." [MSNBC]
• Bonnie Hunt says her new show will be "full of humor and definitely accessibility, curiosity and spontaneity." She also says: "It's not so much celebrating other people's bad moments in daytime television, which has been a trend for a long time, but almost celebrating what really makes us laugh, what makes us feel very human and normal at the top of who we are, not necessarily at the bottom of who we are." [Reuters]
• Ben Affleck's been texting buddy/new dad Matt Damon from the DNC and Matt and his wife are "thrilled" about their new daughter, FYI. [People]
• Some dude has rammed his car into the gates of the Playboy Mansion twice in the last two weeks, according to the LAPD. Think he's trying to get to the grotto? [LA Times]
• Suge Knight was arrested and charged with assault after punching his girlfriend and pulling a knife on her. Death Row, indeed. [Reuters]
• Tori Spelling may not be appearing on the new 90210, but what about 42-year-old Luke Perry? The new ladies in the cast say: "Oh. My. God. I love Dylan McKay" and "Are you kidding me? He's an amazing-looking man. Sexy!" Oh, and in unrelated news, new 9er AnnaLynne McCord, who played Eden on Nip/Tuck likes guns. "My birthday is next week and I'm getting the 380 Ruger and a .38 revolver." [Yahoo News]
• Oh, and the new 90210 might be pretty racy. Shannen Doherty says: "All I know is there's a girl giving a guy a blow job in the first episode." Doherty and Jennie Garth both dish in this interview. [EW, ONTD]
• A retired sheriff allegedly broke into Chris Cornell's home, wandered from room to room and urinated in a corner. He was hired by Cornell's ex-wife as a process server. Talk about pissed off. [TMZ]
• Relations between Madonna and Elton John have been frosty since he accused her of lip-syncing four years ago. But! He went to her concert in Nice last night and they totes made up and are homies again, though Elton cracked, "I'll be found dead of uranium poisoning in three days." [Mirror]
• Russell Simmons told his yoga teacher her classes had gotten too easy and were for "pussies," so she amped it up; he was seen collapsing into the fetal position. [Page Six]
• Kate Moss's neighbors are in a spot of bother about a large crack that has appeared in the wall bordering her back garden. The wall could collapse, etc. Also, the paper just wanted to make "Kate Moss Crack Problem" jokes. [Mirror]
• Jerry Seinfeld's lawyers read papers in court yesterday claiming that Jerry did not slander the woman who accused his wife of ripping off her cookbook. He was just trying to get laughs, mocking frivolous lawsuits. His lawyers are trying to get the defamation suit against him tossed out; Jerry called author Missy Chase Lapine a "wacko" and "mentally unhinged celebrity stalker." [NY Post]
• Paul McCartney will perform in Israel for the first time, more than 40 years after the Beatles were blocked from giving a concert in the country. [Reuters]
• Steve Foley, who played drums with the Replacements, has died. He was 49. He accidentally overdosed on prescription medication. [Reuters]
• Neil Diamond performed earlier this week and his voice was raspy, so he's offering the audience at the Ohio concert a refund. Build me up, buttercup! [Reuters]
• A toxicology test has been ordered in the death of Dr. Dre's son. [People]
• "I haven't had this much fun since my ex-mother-in-law fell in a well" — Janice Dickinson, as she danced with models, celebrating the new season of her show. [Page Six]
• "I'm no Meryl Streep." — Kim Kardashian. [USA Today]
• "Just be polite. Listen to them and give them anything they want. You can't go wrong." Pete Doherty on picking up chicks. [Mirror]
• "[Miley Cyrus] is just a little too tarty, forgive me. I don’t want her to look like she’s going into a convent school, but it’s just a little too much for a 15-year-old. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear she was 25." — Tim Gunn. [MNSBC]
• "I couldn't do what Brad and Angie are doing. I wouldn't have the patience or dedication you need to take care of a family. I admire those qualities in other people but it's not for me. I'm doing exactly what I want to. I hang out with the same friends, I spend time in Italy, and then I go back to work. I try not to worry about anything else." — George Clooney. [Mirror]

• A Britney Spears/Justin Timberlake duet! In the works! [Page Six]
• Jennifer Garner has confirmed that she is expecting her second child. But you knew that. "It always makes me laugh when people say 'Is she?' 'Isn't she?' It's like eventually you will know, so just chill out for a minute," she says. [People]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt plan on hosting a soirée — as suggested by the mayor (?!?!) in their town in Southern France. They want to get to know the locals and be good neighbors and all that. [Daily Express]
• Matt Damon and his wife welcomed their second daughter into the world on Wednesday. Her name is Gia Zavala Damon. [Reuters]
• Details on Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour: 100 pairs of out of stock fishnet, pantyhose in old style weave, purchased for Madonna via ebay and local dance shops; 12 traveling trampolines, 3 Romanian gypsy musicians, 1 chiropractor, 1 personal trainer, 1 masseuse. Four sections of the "journey": Pimp, old school, gypsy and rave. [Perez Hilton]
• Hot new L.A. property: Paparazzi-proof condo. [U.S. News & World Report]
• Nasty blind item! "Which two perky Olympian teammates are really bitter rivals? One spiked the other's protein shake with laxatives before a big competition, but her plan backfired when her nemesis not only powered through the competition but beat her so-called friend anyway." [Rush & Molloy]

• Three adult patients died unexpectedly and a teenage patient was raped at Aurora Las Encinas Hospital, the Pasadena psychiatric facility known for its association with celebrity physician Dr. Drew Pinsky. [L.A. Times]
• Is Jodie Foster making nice with her ex-partner, Cydney Bernard, so she doesn't have to pay her $25 million in alimony? [Perez Hilton]
• Lindsay Lohan's bralessness makes headlines. [The Sun]
• Sam and Lindsay "fled the scene" of Sam's birthday party Tuesday night, because there were too many photographers. [Page Six]
• Courtenay Semel, Lindsay's alleged "first girlfriend" wound up in jail in Vegas Tuesday night after a drunken altercation with security. She's dating Tila Tequila now, btw. [Page Six]
• Catherine Zeta-Jones attended the funeral of her grandmother, Zeta, today in Swansea, UK. [The Sun]
• 90210 promo: Shannen Doherty asks, "Miss me?" [ET]
• Tori Spelling on 90201: "As of now there are no plans for me to be on the show. I hope it turns out to be a really great show, just for my dad’s legacy." [People]
• Blake Lively responds to that video clip of America Ferrera rolling her eyes! Blake says: "I haven't even heard about it. I don't ever pay attention to that stuff. She's one of my best friends in the whole world and honestly, when you're sitting in a room for three hours doing satellite interviews — we were staring at a Post-It with a smiley face — so I think I probably rolled my eyes a hundred times." [EW]
• Uh-oh, music mogul Damon Dash owes $7.3 million in mortgage payments on two Manhattan apartments. Foreclosure proceedings have begun! Where is (former Roc-A-Fella Records partner) Jay-Z when you need him? [Rolling Stone]
• Someone's suing Salma and Sami Hayek. Investment deal gone bad. [TMZ]
• Peaches and Bob Geldof have smoothed things over by going for tapas in Majorca. Crimminy. I wish I were in Majorca right now. [The Sun]
• Rhys Ifans started a drunken brawl at gf Kimberley Stewart's birthday party. Apparently some dude tried to chat up Kim, and Rhys screamed: "Fuck off, don't touch my bird! Let's take this outside, you think you're a big man." Haha, wow. [Mirror]
• James McAvoy has landed the lead role in Gnomeo And Juliet, in which he is a garden gnome who falls in love with an ornament. [Mirror]
• Cher helped Bill Clinton celebrate his birthday Monday in Vegas. Do you believe in life after love? [Page Six]
• Is Oprah sick of being on the cover of O magazine? [Page Six]
• An animated Amy Winehouse stars in a new online game called "Escape From Rehab." The goal: To get out of a clinic and rescue Blake Incarcerated from jail. Your weapons: A beehive, a crack pipe and a syringe. Sigh. [The Sun]
• Jason Wahler's upcoming civil trial could dig up some dirt, like his battles with alcohol and substance abuse, his previous arrests and the time he called the plaintiff, a tow-truck driver, the N-word. [E!]
• Angie Harmon and Jason Sehorn: Expecting baby number 3. [AP]
• Jerry Seinfeld will be the new celebrity pitchman for Microsoft and appear in ads with Bill Gates. Will the campaign be better than the Apple commercials with Justin "I'm a Mac" Long? Uh, if by better you mean nerdier, then, yes. [WSJ]
• James Brown's children, the woman who says she's his last wife, and the state of South Carolina are nearing a settlement over the late soul singer's estate. There should be an inheritance for 6-year-old James Brown II, who had to take a DNA test in April. Hopefully, he feels good. [USA Today]
• Gary Glitter returned to Thailand after being refused entry to Hong Kong. He's in some kind of international limbo. [Guardian]
• Coming to theaters August 29: Mamma Mia!: The Sing-Along Edition, with lyric subtitles. Plug your ears or join in! [MSNBC]
• "Mr. President, are you aware/Our flesh and blood is dying over there?/When the coffins come back, do you care?/When only the poor kids die, is it fair?/Don't get me wrong. I respect the flag/But it hurts to see a kid in a body bag/He fought for his country with all he had/Now we have a family without a dad." — LL Cool J's new track, "Mr. President." [Rush & Molloy]
• "I wish I had been nude from the time I was 12 until I was 28. I looked great! I want to tell all young girls to walk around in bikinis all summer — and enjoy it. I want to tell them to never, ever feel bad about anything, because there will be that one day in your 20s when you’ll eat a hamburger and actually see the hamburger on the side of your leg." —Jennifer Love Hewitt. [MSNBC]
• "I love horses. I've learned from them. Once you master a horse — but it also masters you — you gain more confidence in yourself. [Riding horses] has a rhythm that's rather Zen-like. When you can mount it and move it and move along with it, that is a hard-won and very real accomplishment." —Christian Bale. [Yahoo News]
• "I won’t say I’m never going to do drugs again. I just know I’m not a good person on drugs." — Lily Allen. [The Sun]
• "The majority of times I go to the cinema, I want a bit of everything. I want to be challenged intellectually, and then again I don't want to be too challenged intellectually. I believe my wife to be very creative so of course I'm interested in how she thinks, and there seems to be no end to the desire to be creative; I find that invigorating and interesting. You know, you have conversations, some deep, some shallow. That's the same in everybody's relationship." —Guy Ritchie. [Telegraph]
• "I don't think running for office is anything I'm prepared for or could even prepare myself for. I work really long hours and work a lot and have done press tours and junkets, but there is nothing like a presidential campaign that I have experienced before... I think at one point we visited three different cities in one state in 12 hours. It's exhausting." — America Ferrera on campaigning for Hillary Clinton with Chelsea Clinton. [E!]

The Good:
Note to self: Look as awesome as Iman every day. (Must find floral dress that is feisty, not frilly.) Also, accessorize with David Bowie.
Martha Stewart: Her basic black look is chic and fresh. It's a good thing.
Okay, considering that Donna Karan typically turns up looking somewhere between crazy cat lady and homeless, I'm relieved to see her in something fitted and a little funky. Also, totally digging the shoes.
Russell Simmons and Porschia Coleman: Gorgeous couple, great sense of style.
I only hope that Robert DeNiro appreciates the vast awesomeness of wife Grace Hightower's caftan.


The Bad:
It appears that Sigourney Weaver showed up in her pajamas.
Natasha Richardson's dress is just a wee bit too short, no? And Drena DeNiro is a little too made up.
As the heir apparent to the universe (she is Oprah's bestie after all), surely Gayle King could have mustered together something a little more impressive than this.
Dear Seinfelds: Stop looking so smug. Especially since Jessica's shoes are sure to embarrass you in years to come.


The Ugly:
I can't get over Deborah Lin's shoes. Even the intimidating presence of James Gandolfini isn't enough to distract from footwear that bears an uncanny resemblance to the first shoes-with-heels I ever owned. The year was 1997. The occasion was my Bat Mitzvah.

[Images via FilmMagic and Getty.]

• OMG Bobby Brown's autobiography is going to be sofa king awesome: "I never used cocaine until after I met Whitney. Before then, I had experimented with other drugs, but marijuana was my drug of choice. At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably. I was using everything I could get my hands on, from cocaine to heroin, weed and cooked cocaine." [Page Six]
  
• Madonna donated 100 copes of Vanity Fair to the Kabbalah Centre. You know, the one with her on the cover. Soooo generous. [Page Six]
  
• Beyoncé and Jay-Z: Getting married this Friday??? [Perez Hilton]
  
• Jay-Z is on the verge of a $150 million deal with Live Nation — one of the biggest music contracts ever. Would getting married first mean Beyoncé could be all, what's yours is mine? [Reuters]
  
• Jessica Alba's unborn baby is a girl, and will be named Honor Warren. [Star]

• Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon: On vacay with the kids in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Cute! [MSNBC]
• Ed Westwick, aka Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass, has been spotted drunk out on the town again. His publicist must be working overtime to get him in the papers, but he's so damn cute we're falling for it. [Page Six]
• Speaking of GG, Chace Crawford (aka Nate ) has had a rough few weeks after breaking up with Carrie Underwood and being accused of dating JC Chasez. But he's "doing okay," his sister, Miss Missouri, says. You can stop worrying. [People]
• Kevin Federline's lawyer says Britney's dad is doing a great job. There was a situation and that seems to be stabilized. Does that mean she's cured? Of course not." [People]
• Britney's manager, Larry Rudolph, says Britney will make the biggest comeback in history. [ONTD]
• Mariah Carey canceled interviews in London because she's "not a morning person." Viva la diva! [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse saw a gang of paparazzi camped out on her doorstep in the cold, so she made them tea and brought them cookies. Love. Her. [ Mirror]
• Jerry Seinfeld's brakes failed on Saturday night and his his vintage car flipped over as he was driving in the Hamptons. Jerry walked away unscathed. [People]
• Speaking of the Hamptons, longtime resident Billy Joel's wife, Katie Lee Joel, has a cookbook with a recipe for "Man Loaf" that "instantly makes any guy fall in love." As the kids say, vom. [Page Six]
• "Everybody thinks I'm in the loony bin, but I'm actually in rehab." —Steve-O. [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt has dropped his publicist, Cindy Guagenti, who has repped him since Thelma & Louise. Could it be the influence of Angelina, who has never used a publicist? [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt (with local Springfield, MO businessmen and his brother Doug) has established a new fund to help Springfield public school students who are in poverty: The fund will address hunger, hygiene, and health needs. [KSMU]
• Will Lindsay Lohan's new album get released on time later this year? She's reportedly not being cooperative and canceled important meetings with producer Timbaland. Girl, check yourself before you wreck yourself. [Gatecrasher]
• Katie Couric plagiarized a poem when she was in grammar school and has kept it a secret for 45 years. What other skeletons does she have in her closet? [Gatecrasher]
• Yeah, yeah, Laguna Beach alum Jason Wahler is getting his own VH1 reality show, we know. And we're not looking forward to it. [Gatecrasher]
• Is Brody Jenner involved in that show? Or getting his own? [People]
• Blind item! "Which TV starlet could be the next to have embarrassing naked pix revealed? The racy snaps are a souvenir from her on-again, off-again hookups with a co-star." [Gatecrasher]
• Teri Hatcher will sing on American Idol Gives Back. Consider yourself warned. [Rush & Molloy]
• Kirsten Dunst is redoing the $3 million penthouse in Tribeca, NYC, she bought to live in now hat she's completed six weeks of rehab. Nothing gets booze off your mind like a pricey renovation project! [Rush & Molloy]
• Did UCLA Medical Center employees spy on Farrah Fawcett's files like they did on Britney's? [TMZ]
• Heather Mills was spotted at the airport wearing a black wig as a disguise. WTF. [The Sun]
• The Lord Chief Justice has said people who represent themselves in court — like Heather Mills — just waste the court's time. [Telegraph]
• The mayor of the town in Chile where Daniel Craig is shooting the new Bond movie is leading a protest against the film. The mayor claims that when he drove his car onto the set, Daniel Craig "fled in terror." Bond would never flee! [Daily Mail]
• Kanye West's new travel site is just a "shoddily assembled web 0.5 front-end to house the Travelocity website." [AdAge]
• Elvis Costello hosting a talk show for Sundance Channel? Sounds good. [Reuters]
• Stop me if you think you've heard this one before: Morrissey has won an apology in court from the publishers of Word Magazine, which called him a racist and a hypocrite. [Reuters]
• A judge has dismissed a defamation lawsuit by a businessman chased down the street by Sacha Baron Cohen in the Borat movie. Go away! [USA Today]
• Francis Ford Coppola's new movie is getting a "sex change": Carmen Maura is replacing Javier Bardem in the role of mentor and teacher. [Yahoo News]
• The family of R&B singer Sean Levert wants the FBI too look into his death — he died Sunday night after being strapped into a restraint chair in jail. [Yahoo News]
• Steve Irwin's father has quit working at the Australia Zoo because he was becoming a "disrupting influence." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• See, there's this pesky tax investigation going on involving the Irwins and the Zoo. [News.com.au]
• The Irwins and the Zoo got scammed. [News.com.au]
• "I think legal prostitution is the way to go, given the awful, horrendous traffic in women and the danger of girls being out on the street, so vulnerable to pimps and johns. In a legal brothel, they're licensed, they're protected, and the johns are protected because they know the girls have to be medically checked every week" - Helen Mirren. [Page Six]

• Amy Winehouse is in talks to do fashion and cosmetics lines? Amy-branded eyeliner and hairspray? What kind of fuckery is this? [The Sun]
  
• Jennifer Lopez' nursery is filled with $279 cashmere cardigans, two sleigh cribs costing $1,390 each and a $1250 snakeskin diaper bag. You know, understated. [People]
  
• Of her newborn twins, J. Lo says, "I can't take my eyes off of them." Awww, especially since they look so cute in cashmere! [MSNBC]
  
• As previously reported, Joe Francis' Girls Gone Wild magazine hits stands April 15. Guess who will have a photo shoot inside? Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian. Klassy! [Page Six]
  
• George Clooney is super into his girlfriend, lalalala I can't hear you. [People]

• Britney Spears saw her sons again on Monday; they came to her house for a three-hour visit. [People]
• Three American Idol finalists have "links" to Britney Spears. [USA Today]
• The New York lawyer who claims he represents Britney claims Brit has "never been and is not now on comfortable terms with her live-in father conservator." [TMZ]
• When Ivana Trump marries her fiancé, Rossano Rubicondi, he'll be known as Rossano Trump. Unless that's a joke. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which gossipeuse is about to get the ax? She probably should have told her bosses she was shooting a reality show before just going out and doing it on the sly." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which recently single actor, who may or may not be mentioned on this page, was celebrating Oscar night by grabbing any woman who walked by and enjoying a big old joint in the corner of the party?" (You may have to go to page one of the column to get this, but then it will be obvs!) [Gatecrasher]
• Orlando Bloom and Rumer Willis arrived at Prince's party together? Hmm. [Page Six]
• Apparently nothing can stop Olivier Martinez from flirting with the ladies, even a car crashing into his friend's Bentley. [Page Six]
• Brittany Murphy is behaving like a "diva" on the set of her new film: She requires a diagonally cut peanut butter and jelly sandwich with the crusts cut off every hour. Mmm, good idea. [Page Six]
• Sean Penn and Petra Nemcova: Definitely on. [Rush & Molloy]
• According to his divorce papers, David Hasselhoff has an African Room in his house. And there's crap he wants in there, like an ivory tusk, an elephant foot and two elephant stools. A judge has granted him permission to go and pick it up. [TMZ]
• Madonna showed up for jury duty in Beverly Hills yesterday, but was dismissed. She'd be so good in a 12 Angry Men-type scenario. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is still talking about those shots of her in a bikini. "When those pictures were taken... I had just been asked to marry," she says, referring to her fiancé, Scottish actor Ross McCall. "So he loves me just the way I am. If I do work out more it will be for my health. It won't be because I am worried about how I look." [People]
• Kate Hudson says "I work out all the time." [People]
• But, Kate says, those boobs on the Fool's Gold poster? "They are totally not my boobs. My boobs aren't that big." [The Sun]
• A publicist from The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences says there was no intention to slight or ignore Brad Renfro in their montage of dead people. "In any given year, we are not able to include everyone who has passed away, and because we very much want to include people who worked in all aspects of filmmaking, not just actors and actresses, this means that sometimes well-known individuals are not included," Leslie Unger claims. [E!]
• Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are totes in love and shopped together at Fred Segal yesterday. [ONTD]
• Calista Flockhart to paramour Harrison Ford at Elton John's Oscar party: Slow down, don't drink so much. Harrison to Calista: "It's a special night. I may even swing from a chandelier." No one tells Han Solo to slow down. No one! [The Sun]
• Sarah Jessica Parker will say ciao! to New York for a while: She's set to play an Italian flight attendant on stage in a London West End comedy hit called Boeing Boeing in April. [Daily Express]
• Whoopi Goldberg was choked up on The View when her cohosts discussed how she was not included in an Oscar-host montage. "Undoubtedly I pissed somebody off yet again," she said. [Yahoo News]
• Cate Blanchett will head an arts panel at a summit in Australia, joining "100 of the country's best minds" in a brain-storming session on the subject "Towards a Creative Australia" in April — the same month her third child is due. [Reuters]
• Jerry Seinfeld's lawyers are asking a judge to throw out a lawsuit filed by Missy Chase Lapine, the author of The Sneaky Chef, who made slander and defamation claims after Seinfeld suggested she was a crackpot and compared her to the killers of John Lennon and Martin Luther King Jr. "for comic effect." [Yahoo News]
• Mariah Carey's new video features that dude who plays Kenneth on 30 Rock! Watch a snippet! [The.Life Files]

• Angelina Jolie is in Iraq, and has meetings with Gen. David Petraeus, Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and Iraqi migration officials. Oh, and she's sleeping with Brad Pitt, has four kids and is probably pregnant with twins. What are you doing today? [Yahoo News]
  
• Scarlett Johansson has an "extremely erotic" scene with Penelope Cruz in the new Woody Allen movie. Girl-on-girl action, hot! [Page Six]
  
• Amy Winehouse still does not have a visa? How is she going to make it to the Grammys on Sunday? Insiders say she is not actually slated to sing, although she wanted to do a medley with Kanye West. She might end up appearing via satellite from London, boo. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Kirsten Dunst is in rehab; she checked into the Cirque Lodge clinic in Utah, where Eva Mendes just finished her treatment and Lindsay Loan spent two months. Such a hotspot! [The Sun]

• Does Eva Longoria Parker have a bun in the oven? She was seen shopping at L.A. celebrity baby store Petit Tresor. [Rush & Molloy]
• Rose O'Donnell is on the wagon. Why? "Cause I was drinking too much, 'cause I didn't want to any more, 'cause it is hard to lose weight when drinking, 'cause I can never have only one," she writes on her blog. [Page Six]
• The Hills' star Brody Jenner and 12 friends were at a party; Brody snapped his fingers and said "I'm out!" and the posse followed him. He's like the Fonz! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which famous fashion photographer and admirer of the male physique insists on 'relaxation exercises' when casting his models? He tells them he likes to put his hands on the parts of their bodies where he senses the most stress ... and the ones who respond get to stand in the front of his trademark group shots." [Gatecrasher]
• Designing Women star Delta Burke has checked herself into a psychiatric hospital for depression, obsessive compulsive disorder and hoarding. Wow, being a pack rat is treatable? Might need to look into that. [Rush & Molloy]
• Britney's parents are not happy that she is out of the hospital. They issued a statement that reads: "We are deeply concerned about our daughter's safety and vulnerability and we believe her life is presently at risk." [TMZ]
• Britney was released because a representative from the court found "no just cause" for her to be held — despite the fact that doctors wanted her to stay. [People]
• Some are saying that if Britney is out of the hospital she must not have hit rock bottom. [MSNBC]
• After she checked out of the hospital, Britney checked into the Beverly Hills hotel. [LA Times]
• She was followed to the Beverly Hills Hotel by 20 SUVs of paparazzi. [TMZ]
• Kevin Federline has been trying to keep calm during phone calls from Britney. "The few times they chatted, Kevin had to cut it short because Britney went off on a tangent about Kevin kidnapping the boys from her," says a source. "Kevin loves her — and wants her to get better for the boys — so he's trying not to let her get to him." [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Lopez: Still pregnant, refusing to wear sweatpants or maternity dresses. [People]
• Heath Ledger's father says Heath's death should be a warning not to mix prescription drugs. [Yahoo News]
• The federal government is working with the NYPD to determine how Heath acquired so many prescription drugs. [People]
• Cher, 61, is planning a "visually unbelievable" show in Las Vegas with elaborate choreography, eye-popping costumes, 14 dancers and 4 aerialists. "Our set moves down from the ceiling, in from the sides, up from the floor," she says. "We have screens in the foreground, the center and the back. We can change a city into a forest in two seconds. You'll see a different stage for every song." Raise your hand if this sounds effing awesome! [USA Today]
• Last night, Madonna hosted a party to aid UNICEF — and inaugurate a new Gucci store. Conflict of interest? What about the fact that her charity, Raising Malawi, is headed by the co-director of the Kabbalah Center? [Reuters]
• Paris Hilton spoke at Harvard University yesterday, accepting her Harvard Lampoon Woman Of The Year award. "You guys are so hot," she said. "Harvard's hot." [Reuters]
• Paris has also built a doggie mansion in her backyard that is a replica of her house. "It has a chandelier and the same stairwell and furniture and they all live there," she says. [UPI]
• Don't expect Jerry Seinfeld to return to TV. "I'm old, I'm rich and I'm tired," he says. Touché. [Page Six]
• Brandy's mom says of her lawsuit against the Kardashians: "I decided to afford the Kardashians an opportunity to resolve this matter without a lawsuit," Sonja Norwood says. "When the fraudulent charges were brought to their attention, they apologized profusely, and advised us, through their attorneys, that they would pay the debt in full. However, they have since reneged on that promise." Ms. Norwood claims that the Kardashians owe $120,000 in charges run up on her AmEx, and is also seeking 10% interest. [People]

Well, if you do care, she did go on record for the Times to talk about this eight-year old story, where she basically said that "she did not leave Mr. Nederlander for the comedian. Her first marriage was irreparably broken, she said, before she met Mr. Seinfeld. She said that she and Mr. Nederlander had been having problems even before their wedding on June 13, 1998 — they were in couples therapy, she says — but she lacked the courage to leave him. Within two days of returning to New York from her honeymoon in early July, however, she began moving possessions from Mr. Nederlander's apartment to her grandmother's in Manhattan... On Aug. 7, Ms. Sklar was at the Reebok gym on the Upper West Side, wearing headphones and filling a water bottle, when she first met Mr. Seinfeld, she recalled." And yet the Times points out that "Ms. Seinfeld's account contradicts the unfolding of events as described in the news media at the time — namely, that she left her husband for the comedian — and which her own statements seemed to confirm." And they sorta get Jessica Seinfeld to 'fess up! She says to their questioning, "[W]hen columnists first asked about Jerry and me, overwhelmed and under tremendous pressure, I compounded the mistake. I denied the truth, naïvely trying to protect everyone involved, including Eric, from the pain of the break-up and from the embarrassment of public humiliation." Thanks, New York Times. We will certainly sleep better tonight now knowing about what two people say about their own marriage.

How I Met Jerry Seinfeld, Scene 1, Take 2 [NYT]

Earlier:
Jessica Seinfeld Continues To Deceive, This Time For "Charity"
Jessica Seinfeld's "I Never Read That Book" Defense Smells A Little Fishy
Jessica Seinfeld: The New James Frey? Or Kaavya Viswanathan?
Barter Wives
Jessica Seinfeld's 'Deceptively Delicious': Kinda Deceptive, Not So Delicious