• Heidi Montag's Playboy shoot: Not that X-Rated. Sources say the mag had strict instructions when photographing her:

"No nipples, no vagina, no ass." Guess that's where she keeps her good Christian values? [TMZ]

• Madonna has signed on to appear as a mentor in the new season of UK reality show X Factor. Also guest starring: Robbie Williams, Whitney Houston and Rihanna. [Telegraph]
• Kate Hudson is dating Alex Rodriguez and Friday Night Lights actress Minka Kelly is dating A-Rod rival Derek Jeter. Word is: "Things between the two photogenic actresses are frostier than the new stadium's $9 beer." [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley: Double-dating, chain smoking, tickling. [Page Six]
• Seth MacFarlane says Family Guy's Stewie is gay. "We had an episode that went all the way to the script phase in which Stewie does come out. It had to do with the harassment he took from other kids at school. He ends up going back in time to prevent a passage in Leviticus from being written: 'Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind. It is an abomination.' But we decided it's better to keep it vague, which makes more sense because he's a 1-year-old. Ultimately, Stewie will be gay or a very unhappy repressed heterosexual. It also explains why he's so hellbent on killing [his mother, Lois] and taking over the world: He has a lot of aggression, which comes from confusion and uncertainty about his orientation." [Gatecrasher]
• When Kourtney Kardashian says she is "so shocked" by her pregnancy, you've got to wonder what she means: She knows how to get knocked up, right? Anyways, she says: We were in the Everglades and I kept feeling nauseous and sick. I just kept thinking something wasn't right. I went to the doctor and he confirmed the news. I was just so shocked." Kourtney has not revealed who impregnated her, but in the past she was linked to skateboarder Scott Disick, whose website notes: "As for girls, he was known as being able to manipulate them into anything." [People]
• Anna Faris and Chris Pratt: Married. And it happened it Bali on July 9. As you'll recall, they were seen on what was thought to be a wedding trip in Hawaii in late July, then her rep said it wasn't true that they'd gotten hitched in Hawaii. Which wasn't exactly a lie. [People]
• Kate Gosselin on Jon Gosselin's relationship(s): "It is hurtful. Very hurtful. To be very honest, the most hurtful part is when his decisions directly affect our children. That's the hardest part for me." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's "Will You Be There" will be remade with John Mayer, Lionel Richie, Whitney Houston, Usher, Dionne Warwick, Wyclef and Jermaine Jackson. Larry King's wife Shawn is spearheading the tribute, which will either be awesome or awful. [TMZ]
• …And Shawn King has just pulled out of a duet with Jermaine Jackson she was supposed to do in Vienna. [Page Six]
• Jennie Garth basically confirms that Robert Pattinson is dating Kristen Stewart by saying, "I can't say [which New Moon costar] …but he is dating one of them!" Oh man, it's Buff Werewolf, isn't it? Remember when they held hands? [Gatecrasher]
• "David Beckham disappoints Chelsea and Tottenham by insisting AC Milan is most likely destination for England star." [Daily Mail]
• "Beckhams set to swap LA for Italy?" [Mirror]
• Is Denzel Washington — like so many other Hollywood types — looking to make a living in TV? He's considering an executive producer role on a cop drama called Billy Stiles, written by Virgil Williams, who has penned scripts for 24 and ER. [Reuters]
• Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett: Expecting a boy.
  "Whether this little guy is a jock or not, he's definitely going to be a mama's boy," Kendra says. "And there's no doubt he's gonna be a handsome one … just look at his dad!" [People]
• Rebecca Romijn is giving husband Jerry O'Connell diaper duty while she works on new show Eastwick. This column calls him Mr. Mom, but shouldn't it just be "Dad"? [People]
• Glenn Close used to be in Up With People?!?!? [Page Six]
• Michael Douglas has released a statement regarding his son, Cameron, being busted for meth and thrown in jail for heroin: "The family is devastated and very disappointed in Cameron's recent behavior. Any family who has dealt with substance abuse knows how devastating it can be." [People, NY Daily News]
• "A New York City judge says a jury can decide whether the author of a best-selling book about the death of Playboy playmate Anna Nicole Smith defamed her lawyer by calling him a pimp." [USA Today]
• "Anna Nicole Smith pal Howard K. Stern wins OK to sue writer for libel over gay sex video tale" [NY Daily News]
• Mickey Rourke is not impressed when you "make it rain" in the club. [Page Six]
• "Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt are ready to take on Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell for the title of Longest Dating (and Unmarried) Couple." [Gatecrasher]
• Acting legend Charles Dance, whom you may have seen in Gosford Park, says Paris Hilton's British Best Friend series is "a show for airheads, starring an airhead." Her show is bumping his university drama, Trinity. [The Sun]
• Paul Giamatti will replace Sean Penn as Larry in the Three Stooges movie. Benecio Del Toro will play Moe, and Curly has yet to be cast. [NY Daily News]
• Kim Basinger may play Zac Efron's mom in The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud, a flick about a grieving family. [Variety]
• Bachelorette Jillian Harris stands by Ed Swiderski, but other continue to women talk about how shady he is, blah blah blah. [MSNBC]
• Blind item! "Which scorned reality star is in talks with a major R&B singer to have a faux relationship - just to improve her image?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Today some people in traffic tried to sell me a baby. A live human baby. I didn't know what to say. I said a little prayer for the kid. Wow. It all happend so fast. I was trying to figure out if they were serious, and i think when my reaction was not a good one, they just took off. I mean look. Chances are they were joking. The scary part is i really couldn't tell. Maybe i'm just one gullable fool (sic)." — Joel Madden, via Twitter. [News.com.au]
• "Ran into the people that tried to sell me their baby today on melrose.Told me to tell you all they were joking. I thought 10k was a bit high." — Joel Madden. [Twitter]
• "I learned 30 pages of dialogue in German and English and went to the audition dressed like the character. I killed it. I did everything except sleep with the director to get that part" — Diane Kruger, to Playboy on landing her role in Inglourious Basterds. [Page Six]
• "I got stuck being searched in Toronto, and she waited for me. I totally wasn't expecting to see her when I got through my Toronto search, and she was there, patiently waiting. Some people wouldn't have waited. That's all I'm saying." —Eric Bana on The Time Traveler's Wife costar Rachel McAdams. [USA Today]
• "What was I gonna do? I was worried about you. What if you'd been sent to jail or something and I had to alert the studio?" — Rachel McAdams to Eric Bana. [USA Today]
• "You know, in the old days it was very difficult to make movies 'cause you had to have 35 millimeter cameras, which were phenomenally expensive. Or you had to have rich parents that could send you to film school. Nowadays, anybody, any kid or young person with a desire to make films ... (has) access to this equipment. You have great video cameras and the quality's fantastic. You can make soundtracks and do visual effects. You can do very competent computer effects quite easily. There are no excuses anymore. If people really want to make movies, they can go out and do it. And I think we're going see in the next 20 or 30 years a real influx of creativity to the world of entertainment because I believe a lot in the young generation coming along ... the pop culture generation who now can grab these cameras and go make films with them." — director Peter Jackson. [Reuters]
• "I definitely got doughy. I started eating like crazy and drinking dark beer. Between meals on set, I'd eat a No. 1 Value Meal at McDonald's and then Doritos on top of it. It was absolute heaven." — Matt Damon, on gaining weight for his role in The Informant. [Gatecrasher]

Seen (as pictured) at the Charlotte Ronson show this afternoon (Charlotte is Sam Ronson's twin sister, by the by) LL said: "I'm really sick right now. I think I have an ear infection." Plus: "I'm not sure what I'm doing the rest of the week," she shrugged. You heard it here first: Apathy is so hot right now. [WWD]

• Oh and Lindsay Lohan, who you'll recall once worked with the likes of Jane Fonda and Meryl Streep, has been cast as the lead female role in the remake of A Nightmare On Elm Street. [Just Jared]
• Wait, no she wasn't! [Just Jared]
• This just in: Chris Brown had a "secret meeting" in LA on Thursday night with his mom and other family members and friends. Guess what: He and Rihanna have "officially broken up." And Chris thinks he will not, repeat, NOT go to jail. He told those gathered: "Protect me. I'm your homeboy." [Radar]
• Patrick Swayze, who just got over pneumonia and is still battling cancer, continues to smoke. Ugh! [The Sun]
• In a completely natural follow up to Twilight, Robert Pattinson's next role will be Spanish surrealist painter Salvador Dalí in Little Ashes. [People]
• Jerry O'Connell tried out a breast pump on Ellen and talked about the breastfeeding habits of his wife, Rebecca Romijn, who recently had twins. "I'm not saying anything dirty, it's natural but [Rebecca] does what we call the double football – which is just incredible, because it's like three beings attached," he says. "It's like something out of Cirque du Soleil. It's crazy." [People]
• Apparently the rumors that Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love were hooking up are not true. In this video he says he'd rather "be on a deserted island with a gorilla." [TMZ]
• Angela Suleman, the octuplets' grandmother has been put under a gag order after it was revealed that she may have been paid for her interview with RadarOnline.com. Her daughter Nadya's publicist said: "I had to put a gag on Nadya's mother, who sold her out… They paid her $40,000 to sell [Nadya] out, and she can't talk about her daughter for three months." [Perez Hilton]
• Hilary Duff will appear on the Diet Coke Style Series during fashion week, being interviewed along with Christian Siriano and Heidi Klum. [Ad Rants]
• Bon Jovi is suing a former employee of the arena footbal team he owns, the Philadelphia Soul, for allegedly making his own version of their championship rings and selling them to the public. [TMZ]
• In this video, Ashanti says she doesn't know if she'd call the cops on an abuser like Rihanna (supposedly) did. [TMZ]
• Will Smith says he and wife Jada have "reached out" to both Chris Brown and Rihanna and offered to do whatever they need, even if they just want to be left alone. "If there are mistakes people make, then they should be willing to live up to the mistakes and do whatever penance they need to do. I don't think it's up to us, specifically the media, with such a fast hand to try to chop someone's head off," says Smith. [People]
• Handsome gentleman John Legend on the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation: "I know both of them. I was surprised when I heard because it doesn't strike me as something Chris would do. "You never know what's inside people or what can trigger that. It's an awful story. I feel terrible for both of them but if Chris did what they said he did, that's unacceptable. He has to accept the consequences of it." [People]
• Teenyboppers, brace yourselves: Nick Jonas and Selena Gomez have split up. [Perez Hilton]
• Mandy Moore talked about her recent engagement to Ryan Adams on The Bonnie Hunt Show and says she is "very happy." [People]
• Former Ronette Estelle Bennett died Wednesday at her home in New Jersey at age 67. Along with the rest of the group, Estelle sang the 60s hits "(Walking) in the Rain," "Baby, I Love You," and "Be My Baby." [Pitchfork Media]
• Naomi Watts says her Clive Owen, her co-star in The International is "not to me in real life. On the screen, yeah." She added, "[Owen] is a total pussy cat, incredibly funny, great kind of British schoolboy silly sense of humor and likes to be teased, can laugh at himself. But incredibly focused and well committed to his work. I loved working with him." [CBS News]
• Carrie Underwood says she's anti-Valentine's Day. "I don't believe – and this goes for anybody – your man shouldn't love you for one day out of 365. He should love you 365 days out of the year. I want Valentine's Day every day," she says. [People]
• Being on the road in his tour bus must be so hard for Tommy Lee. He says: "Well there's a shower, there's a kitchen, a Pro Tools recording system, a Jaegemeister machine, both formats of Playstation, and Xbox. I don't have a stripper pole - that'd be kind of fun too. I think I'm missing that. But then again, we don't really need a pole. You don't need a pole to strip right? At least on my bus we haven't needed one yet." [NY Magazine]
• "Because I am a mum, my uniform is jeans and trainers and T-shirts. I was raised as a tomboy with boys and I never really feel like myself when I am really dolled up at premieres and showbiz events." - Isla Fisher. [Reuters]

[Los Angeles, January 14. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, January 5. Image via INF]

• Sara Trumble, the nanny who used to take care of wee Beatrice McCartney, is suing Bea's mum, Heather Mills, because "Mills required her to blow-dry Mills' hair, work unreasonable hours, and spray-tan a naked Mills."

• At least the nanny only had to spray-tan one leg! Mills denies the accusations and her flack says, "Heather is devastated that Sara, who Heather considered a part of her family, should choose to level these accusations at her. This claim will be vigorously defended." [MSNBC]
• This Tom Cruise interview in the Sun sounds like it was robot generated. Sample passage: "He says: 'Life is never boring because I’m meeting so many interesting people and I have so many interests.'" Tom also says he wants ten children and that he regrets speaking out about Scientology because it made him sound like a loon, and he's not talking about it these days. "‘That’s it, no more — go to the Scientology website." [The Sun]
• Is J.Lo's marriage really dunzo? Though she and Marc Anthony renewed their vows mere months ago, sources tell the Daily News they're going to file for divorce after Marc's Valentine's Day show at Madison Square Garden. “Jennifer is planning on joining Marc onstage for a surprise duet. Things haven’t been right for a while now, and they thought it would be a bittersweet farewell.” Both J.Lo and Marc have been galivanting around without their wedding rings lately. [NYDN]
• Paris Hilton went to Melbourne, Australia, to try to get a deal endorsing…something, but was unable to secure any cash. But don't cry for Paris, Australia: rumor is she will be getting a cool $100,000 to host a New Years' party in Sydney with her sister, Nicky. [Herald Sun]
• Mariah Carey: still not pregnant. Your Mariah womb watch will continue in 2009. [Fox News]
• Also not pregnant: Eva Longoria. But she sure does want to be! [Daily Express]
• Joel Madden wants to be an actor. The Good Charlotte singer and boyf to Nicole Richie has been taking acting lessons and secured a part in the upcoming tour de force from MTV based on the video game Rock Band. [MSNBC]
• Hugh Jackman says that his guilty pleasure is Cream Caramel and that he believes in love at first sight, because that's what happened with his wife. "I was 27, single and not expecting to get married. Then I met Deb and it was a no-brainer that we should be together as it was ten times better than being single." Aw. [Daily Mail]
• Are the Kardashian-Jenners feeling the credit crunch? They're putting their Hidden Hills, CA home on the market for $3.395 million. [TMZ]
• Apparently Kanye West has taken up chanting to "ward off evil spirits." Yeah, I don't know. [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse's former lover/assistant Alex Haines sold his story to The News of the World. Haines tells them that Amy had toast and crack for breakfast every day, was bulimic and an avid cutter. Oy. [Dlisted]
• Anjelica Huston's husband, the sculptor Robert Graham, has died. He's best known for his bronze work, notes the New York Times, particularly the sculpture that marks "the Roosevelt memorial, where bronze panels symbolize the 54 social programs that were initiated under the president's New Deal. Graham also created the life-size, bronze figure of President Roosevelt in his wheelchair at the entrance of the memorial." [NYT]
• Emma Watson finds the amount of money she made playing Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series (an estimated £10 million) fairly absurd. "Why would someone my age need this much money?" Watson says. "Let's face it, I don't really have any use for it." [Telegraph]
• Oh lord, Michael Lohan insists that he has Lindsay's best interests in mind. He writes to blogger Oh No They Didn't, "Is a villain someone who wants to keep people of a negative influence out of his daugther's life. A perosn who wants to protect her from and obviously unhealthy relationship which has brought her life and career to an all time low! 'inday is a good hearted gifted and blessed human being..The saying ':ow me who you walk with and I will tell you who you are." Michael Lohan's misspellings and bad grammar have been left unedited. [ONTD]
• Brace yourselves for this deeply upsetting surprise: Whitney Port's "job" at Diane Von Furstenberg as portrayed in the MTV reality show The City is not actually a real job. We know, you're ever so shocked. Says a source, "She doesn't really work. She is hardly ever in the office…[Real Furstenberg employees] can't get their work done because MTV tells them they can't move any thing at their work stations. They do so many reshoots that everything has to look exactly the same every day." Imagine that! [Page Six]
• Diddy offered the City of New York $1 million if they made Ciroc vodka the official vodka of New Year's Eve and painted the ball in Times Square purple, as purple is the color of grapes that are used to make his Ciroc. The City of New York has politely declined. [Page Six]
• A British director has made a documentary about Carla Bruni. In it she talks about her music and her marriage to French President Nicolas Sarkozy. She says her attraction to Sarkozy was "instantaneous" and "immediate." She adds, "I don't know what he has but he has something very protective that I have never found before, maybe because I was much more attracted to artists." [Telegraph]
• Here's a marginally funny video with Jerry O'Connell and a very pregnant Rebecca Romijn in which she pretends that she is her shape-shifting X-Men character Mystique and gets testy because her babies are too human to shape-shift. Mreh. [Funny Or Die]
• Madonna's alleged boyfriend, 20-year-old Brazilian model Jesus Luz, has recently appeared in an "erotic" TV show, says the Telegraph. Luz "guest starred as Diogo, a jilted boyfriend, in the programme, titled Hostel. He was seen being led by his girlfriend to a party, where he drank too much and got drunk, passing out on a chair. While Diogo was unconscious, his girlfriend was seen making love to another man." [ Telegraph]
• "There's nothing worse than being a woman in show business . . . you'll be asked to do only two things in every [bleep]ing role you ever play: take your shirt off and cry." — David Mamet. [Page Six]

[Los Angeles, December 16. Image via INF]

[Los Angeles, October 12. Image via Flynet]

[Los Angeles, October 4. Image via Flynet]

• The crew on Madonna's world tour is threatening to quit because they had to stay at a cheap airport hotel while she stayed in an £11,000-a-night castle. It cannot be confirmed whether or not Her Madgesty said, "Let them eat cake." [Mirror, WOW Report]
• Here's the latest on David Duchovny: He may have had an addiction to online porn. And he may have released a statement about it because he was already in treatment and a fellow patient was about to sell info to the tabloids. [Fox News]
• Looking back at old interviews, Duchovny revealed his love of porn and '80s porn stars. [People]
• Meanwhile, Tea Leoni has canceled her appearance at the Toronto Film Festival. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan hung out with Sam Ronson instead of going to her grandfather's wake on Long Island. [The Sun]
• Lindsay signed a MySpace message "This song is for SR… ILY." Translation: "This song is for Sam Ronson. I love you." [Pop Dirt]
• Are Queen Latifah and her long time partner Jeanette Jenkins planning on adopting? Are they out now? [ONTD]

• Some dude's been arrested for stealing a digital camera that had pictures of Kate Middleton and Prince William vacationing in Mustique together. The camera belonged to Kate's little sister Pippa and the guy intended to sell the snaps to the tabloids, obvs. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Spacey: Seen pinching the bare bottom of some dude. [Mr. Paparazzi, via Perez Hilton]
• Says a witness: "Kevin looked like he was having a brilliant time." [The Sun]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck of The View is heading to the Republican National Convention on Thursday. She'll fly in and out on the same day. "I must really want John McCain elected," she says, "because I would not get on a plane like that for anyone else." Oh, the sacrifice! Thank God McCain has you. [NY Daily News]
• The apocalypse is nigh: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are opening a bar. In NEW YORK. To be called The Hill. [W]
• Save Katie! The anti-Scientology group Anonymous will be protesting at opening night of Katie Holmes' Broadway debut in All My Sons. "We aren’t looking to shut it down, we just want to prove a point," says a spokesperson. [MSNBC]
• Josh Hartnett and and unnamed female friend went into a little-used library at a SoHo hotel and started getting "hot and heavy." Since the hotel — and the library — are under security camera surveillance, the staff saw a little show on a monitor. No video link, sorry! [MSNBC]
• Michael Phelps shot a cameo for the new season of Entourage. "It was like being in New York City with one of the Beatles," Kevin "E" Connolly says. "People were stopping in the streets and climbing up things to see him. They were going nuts. He's like a superstar." [Yahoo News]
• Meanwhile, Michael Phelps is totally not talking about the ladies and doing his best to have some privacy: "I never said I have a girlfriend, and I never said I don't have a girlfriend," he says. [People]
• DNA evidence has linked an air conditioning repairman to the 2001 stabbing death of Ashley Ellerin, Ashton Kutcher's former girlfriend. [Yahoo News]
• Johnny Depp was on stage with his old band! One night only! He played guitar and sang backup! It was for charity. [Yahoo News]
• This was probably inevitable but still: Oy: Agyness Deyn is working on a Hollywood career. [Daily Mail]
• Not that you asked, but Britney has been working out "super hard" and is in "great shape." [Page Six]
• Angelina Jolie would like to work on a European film. "No one has asked me yet," she says. "When I can really speak it, maybe I'll try out for a French film in a few years." [Breitbart]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Moving in together? They looked at a $22 million mansion in Malibu and Sienna liked it. (At that price point, what's not to like?) [Perez Hilton]
• Maroon 5's Adam Levine: Seen hitting on newly single Anne Hathaway at the Vanity Fair DNC party. Uh-oh, isn't Adam on that herpes chart? [Fox News]
• James Gandolfini, 46, married his fiancée Deborah Lin, 40, in her hometown of Honolulu, Hawaii on Saturday. "They both wore long, green leis around their necks," says a source. "There were lots of white flowers on the tables and Gandolfini was beaming." [People]
• French actress Emmanuelle Beart and director Fabrice Du Welz are defending their latest movie, Vinyan, in which Beart stars as a mother who loses her son to the 2004 tsunami but refuses to believe he is dead. The character and her husband go looking for the kid in the jungle of the Thai-Myanmar border and stumble across a terrifying world ruled by savage children. It's a horror film, but the director says, "I tried to be as respectful as I can. I don't want to be unpleasant to people who have really suffered from the tsunami." [Yahoo News]
• John Mayer got really drunk and partied with a blonde cocktail waitress on the last night of his world tour. On stage, he mentioned reading The Secret and said "I had a conversation recently, and a lot of tears were exchanged." Jen Aniston, sniff, sniff. [People]
• This is just coming out now, but apparently Amy Winehouse overdosed twice last year: Once in July, from smoking hash for 36 hours; next in August from cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, ketamine and crystal meth. Now she might have brain damage or schizophrenia from the drugs. [The Sun]
• Another "Amy Winehouse may have brain damage" story. [Daily Mail]
• Headline of the day: "Could Scarlett Be The Next Spielberg?" Yes, Ms. Johansson wants to direct. [Daily Express]
• Mel Gibson has become "close to" a "glamorous Russian musician" on the set on his new movie but he says she's just a colleague and he remains happily married. [Daily Mail]
• The stage musical version of 9 To 5 features 19 new Dolly Parton songs. "She's so lovely and so humble," producer Robert Greenblatt says. "She says, 'I'm not sure I'll get you the whole way there, but I'd love to give it a try. If something doesn't work exactly, I'll rewrite it.'" [Variety]
• Colin Farrell saved this homeless guy's life by giving him cash and telling him: "You need to get your life together, man, promise me. And make sure you go see my new movie." [Toronto Sun]
• Jude Law is visiting Afghanistan to promote peace. Yeah, I dunno. [AP]
• Sign of the recession? Diddy had to give up his private jet. [The Star]
• Natalie Portman won a humanity award at the Venice Film Festival, where she made her directorial debut with a short film called Eve. [The Star]
• Duran Duran fan? Maybe you wanna read about how cocaine destroyed the band. Written by Andy Taylor! [Daily Mail]
• Sixty-two year old Cher has a 36 year old man and she hired a private jet to fly him and two of his buddies to Memphis to catch a Merle Haggard show, which is kind of awesome. [Page Six]
• Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze: Still on. [Page Six]
• Leanne Rimes, 26, has been married for seven years, and says she is ready for a baby. [People]
• "You are bugging the fuck out… No disrespect. …Alaska? I don't even know if there's any black people in Alaska. If you really think we're gonna let you win the election with these crazy decisions that you're making, you're bugging." —Diddy's thoughts about Sarah Palin in a video directed to John McCain. [Perez Hilton]
• Jerry O'Connell says pregnant wife Rebecca Romjin craves lemonade and soy cream cheese. "Can't be cream cheese. Soy cream cheese. Do you know how difficult it is to find soy cream cheese? It's usually in the corner of the supermarket someplace!" [People]
• "The easiest sex scene I have done was in Mulholland Drive because it was with another woman. There was no awkwardness. There was no sexual tension." — Naomi Watts. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "When it comes to fashion, I know about as much as Betty. I love to play dress-up and it’s fun, but I’m not interested in the fashion world. If I wasn’t an actress, I’d probably want to be a teacher." — America Ferrera. [Mirror]
• "I always knew I was never the prettiest or ugliest girl in the room. Life's too short to inject botulism into you face to get rid of a tiny line because you've laughed too much. I don't feel a need to lose weight, because I'm not 21. I'm happy with my package." — Ashley Jensen, aka Christina on Ugly Betty. [Daily Mail]
• "It's very strange to be here in London without Anthony Minghella, whom I loved very much, and very painful. I was so frightened in the first week of shooting The English Patient, I was trembling, but he was trying to find a way to win my trust, and he just said to me, 'Well, fly...' and I did and it changed my life." — Juliette Binoche. [Independent]
• "Victoria and I are very different. People bracket us together because we live in the same city and we’re both interested in fashion. Victoria’s fashion line has been very successful and, hopefully mine will be too. But that’s where the similarities begin and end." —Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown. Not that you knew she had a fashion line. [Daily Mail]
• "The only thing I can cook really is mince meat, which is ironic because I'm a vegetarian. But I like calzone and lasagne. I cooked every day in Spain so David and the boys lived off minced meat for four years. I cook a Sunday dinner every single Sunday I'll have you know. My kids like Yorkshire pudding so I make that, I can make it from scratch and I make Dora the Explorer cakes for afters because the kids love them." — Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. [Daily Mail]
• "I can't even think about having another baby right now. The boys take up so much of my time." — Victoria Beckham. [Mirror]
• "I don't care for [romantic comedies] where the guy is emasculated, tossed around by the woman, and lacking a point of view. It's a disservice to both the male and the female. I like to give my guys some balls" - Matthew McConaughey to Plenty magazine. [Page Six]
• "I kind of want to see how the audience responds first. I don't want to overstay my welcome." — Shannen Doherty, on whether she will stick with the new 90210. [LA Times]
• "I informed British Airways of my late arrival. I told them I was a kind of minor celebrity and I might get a bit of hassle at the airport. Turns out they are complete arseholes. Even when I fell over and badly creased my hat, I had no assistance. I was crying but I didn't want them to see. A cynic might say I missed the plane, an honest man might say I went to the airport a little late." —Pete Doherty. [Mirror]
• "I think manipulation is something that women do a lot, it's still our number one problem. You look at those characters [in The Duchess] — Georgiana and Bess — and they're hugely trying to outmanoeuvre each other, but I think it's also possible for intense love affairs to happen between women — not necessarily sexual, but things can obviously take a sexual turn. Women do get obsessed with other women — whether they love them or hate them, and I think that line is very easy to cross." — Keira Knightley [Guardian]

• Victoria Beckham has been approached by Fox to host her own fashion reality TV show. Posh would travel around America — some small, "backwater" towns — finding style-challenged people, and giving them fashion make-overs. Geek to chic! [Marie Claire]
  
• Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon went to a play in New York on Sunday, but spent the whole time texting. Rude! [Page Six]
  
• Though he's been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Patrick Swayze's doctor says he "has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far." [People]
  
• Demi Moore is on the cover of Bazaar and talks about her relationship with Ashton Kutcher inside: "People made such a fuss about it. You would have thought the world had never seen it before. Age wasn't what I was thinking about, but to the rest of the world it was a very big deal." [Perez Hilton]
  
• Demi's family portrait is hot. [People]

• Cosby Show alum Raven Symoné, 22: "I want to have a record label and a licensing company. I want to have a publishing company and a management company where I can launch all kinds of artists. I want to do everything. I want to be Disney." Get it girl! [LA Times]
• Terri Irwin faces a court battle over a million dollar debt at her late husband's Australia Zoo. A debt collector is suing the zoo and Terri in a case that involves an offshore bank with ties to a corrupt tax official. Messy stuff. [Times]
• Bai Ling pleaded guilty to disturbing the peace in her case regarding the theft of Star magazines and batteries. She was ordered to pay a fine of $700, and you can now go back to not thinking about her, if you want. [People ]
• Jamie Lynn Spears will be a guest star on an ABC comedy called Miss Guided, premiering March 20. Judy Greer stars in the sit com and JLS (who wasn't knocked up when she shot the show) plays a troubled student; Ashton Kutcher also guest stars. They really really really want people to watch. [People]
• Scott Weiland pleaded innocent to his DUI charge. He's free on bail and goes to court April 4. [Reuters]
• Jack Osbourne: Sings like his dad. At least when doing karaoke. [Page Six]
• Josh Kelly on those pix of he and Katherine Heigl and the moving truck: "Katherine and I are moving boxes and furniture into our new house in LA and this gang of photographers were there snapping away at us. So I say to them, 'You guys are just going to sit there taking pictures, making money while we bust our asses?'" That's when the paparazzi started lifting boxes. [Page Six]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick would not have a kid if it weren't for herbal supplement Airborne, cough cough. [Page Six]
• Jeremy Piven continues to hit on women everywhere, yawn. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which hit show that has everyone guessing about its closeted male star also has a female co-star who plays for the home team?" [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which floundering pop star is hoping a unisex clothing line will rehab her nonexistent singing career?" [Rush & Molloy]
• The court has extended Jamie Spears' conservatorship of Britney to July 31; though it could end earlier if Brit's mental state keeps improving and stabilizes. It seems like she's in a good place, here's to hoping she keeps it up! [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Sam Lutfi allegedly says, "I am going to call Britney to the stand so she can tell the world how I was helping her. I am innocent. I am Britney's friend and would never hurt her." Sure, sure. [MSNBC]
• Showgirls star Elizabeth Berkley will host Bravo's new show, Step It Up & Dance. But will she keep her clothes on? [TMZ]
• That boy from American Idol with the pretty pretty lips went to a school for "at-risk" kids and had "issues" or something. Wow, his lips are so pretty. [TMZ]
• Valerie Bertinelli on Eddie Van Halen's undisclosed health crisis: "I really don't think it's anybody's business." [People]
• Producer Linda Perry is suing over royalties she's owed from James Blunt's album. [Reuters]
• The True Colors Tour is coming! Cyndi Lauper, the B-52s and, um, Carson Kressley. [USA Today]
• Lily Allen won't play the Isle of Wight Festival in the UK because her new album is behind schedule. But leave her alone, she's been through a lot. [Perez Hilton]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt attended the memorial service of Heidi's stepbrother yesterday; he died after slipping off of a roof and was a veteran of combat missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. [People]
• Dancing With The Stars' Julianne Hough, 19, will be a virgin until she gets married. She also does not drink, smoke or do drugs. Goody two-shoes. What do you do? [People]
• Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York, is a "fat-fighting guru" for a new TV show in the UK. She will help mere, common people with their weight issues. [BBC News]
• Jerry O'Connell will take part in a race across the Scottish Highlands. Kayaking, rappelling and that kind of stuff is involved, yet the race is sponsored by a liquor. Interesting. [UPI]
• Bruce Willis is a stoner. [Perez Hilton]
• Producers from The View are not wooing Cindy Crawford, which is too bad. [MSNBC]
• MTV won't air the new Gnarls Barkley video featuring Justin Timberlake because it could trigger an epileptic seizure. View at your own risk! [MSNBC]
• Danny Bonaduce will host a child star reality show, on VH1, which sounds healthy. Not. [UPI]
• Death threats against Daniel Radcliffe? How could anyone hate Harry Potter? [Sydney Morning Herald]
• You know John Waters' Cry-Baby is coming to Broadway, right? (I am so there.) [Page Six]

[New York, January 17. Image via x17.]

[Los Angeles, November 4. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[Calabasas, California; August 4. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Ojai, Calif; July 15. Image via x17]

[Calabasas, Calif; July 7. Image via Bauer-Griffin]