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John Boehner's Hypothetical Gay Child Would Never Change His Opinion on Marriage Equality, No Siree, Bob

Aw, man. Doesn't John Boehner just seem like the coolest, most laid-back of dudes? Forget the kind of guy you want to have a beer with. No, the House Speaker is the type of chill who'd you want to take to the beach, surf some waves, smoke a j and chit-chat about life with — all because he comes off as so reasonable,…

Hong Kong Billionaire Will Still Give Some Straight Dude Lots of Money to Marry His Lesbian Daughter

Back in September, Hong Kong business man/father of the year Cecil Chao Sze-tsung offered a $65 million "reward" to any man able to woo and marry his lesbian daughter who, by the way, has been married to her longtime female partner since April of last year. Totally a cool dad move, right? Chao's daughter Gigi…

City Council Candidate Asked Female Reporter Why a 'Pretty Girl' Like Her Researched His Finances

Oh, wow: when a DNAinfo.com reporter recently asked City Council candidate Ed Hartzog about the $8,000 he's raised since he decided to run about a month ago — information that's listed on the New York City Campaign Finance Board website for all to see — Hartzog said, "What's a pretty girl like you doing reading those?"

Asshole Teens Vote Girl to Homecoming Court as a Joke, Proving We've Learned Nothing from Carrie

A Michigan town is warming the heart-cockles of light news readers everywhere today, as the citizenry of Saginaw rally around a 16-year-old girl who was voted to homecoming court as a joke by the dick salad that is her high school student body. "It's like Carrie, but with a happy ending!" says the Detroit News. Like …

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Senate Candidate Wishes We'd All Stop Whining About the Poors and Their Petty Need for Food

Poor Eric Hovde. He is just so sick of hearing of our sob stories about how we are poor and need help. No, Eric Hovde is not someone's crotchety old grandfather. He's a strapping young Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate in Wisconsin, and during a recent campaign presentation he accidentally revealed that he is…

If You're Knocked Up in Kansas and Don't Want to Be, You Better Hope You Get the Right Pharmacist

Oh, great. Another law that gives medical professionals the right let their superstitious beliefs trump the needs of their patients. Earlier this week, Kansas governor Sam Brownback signed into law a measure that would strengthen so-called "conscience rights" of pharmacists in the state, giving them the right to…