So yeah, my friend J used to joke about being a modern urban cavegirl, wearing little fur stoles and eating steak and dragging boys back to her cave apartment. This is bone print is a less subtle take on that.


I don't even know what this print is supposed to be. Snagglepuss didn't have spots.


I can almost imagine a situation in which this ensemble would be appropriate, and it involves Taylor Momsen and Halloween. The gloves are fierce, but the jagged sleeves on that jacket just make the Fashion Gods cry Chanel No. 5-scented tears.


Wilma and Betty had better accessories.


Are you ready to barf up your Brontosaurus burger yet?


Just in case you don't "get it" — bones on the shoes, too.


This looks like the infamous dissolving bikini.


I don't know whether to laugh or to cry... Laugh, I think. Like this: HAHAHAHAHA! CAPTAIN CAVEMAN GOES TO SOUTH BEACH!!! LOL! Unrelated: The limited edition sneakers are hot.


This sabre-tooth tiger swimsuit isn't really that bad…


…When you consider this painful Borat-ish contraption, complete with faux-paws. Yeah, I said it. FAUX-PAWS. Faux-paws are a faux pas.


"I'm just gonna pretend I'm naked. Naked, walking in a spotlight. That's way less horrifying than thinking about what I'm actually wearing."


Jeremy Scott himself. He probably thinks his pants are GRRRRRRREAT.


[Images via Getty.]

• Twilight clothing is happening — it's only surprising it took so long. The duds go on sale at Nordstrom in October. Selina Khan, on the right, looks like she just doesn't care about Edward or Jacob, bless her heart. [People]

• Amazon.com is acquiring Zappos.com. The cost? $847 million. [NYTimes]
• Wonder Woman Lynda Carter will be live in person at Talbot's for Fashion Night Out, a night of special sales and events designed to encourage consumers to shop at the start of New York Fashion Week. Carter will be at Talbot's Madison Avenue store to promote her new CD, "At Last." [WWD]
• Meanwhile, France is one step closer to allowing shops to open on Sundays after the bill was narrowly approved by the senate. Mon dieu! [WWD]
• Barney's New York took down a disturbing window display that featured bloodied mannequins, posed as though they were struggling against assailants. And here we thought Simon Doonan's judgment was impeccable in all things. [NYDN]
• The actress Melissa George has invented a new product which she calls "HemmingMyWay." Geddit! The Grey's star, along with her business partner Kara Harshbarger, plans to sell clear adhesive strips with snaps affixed that allow a wearer to quickly adjust the length of her pants when she changes from flats to heels. Look, it even has a Facebook page! [WWD]
• Amy Winehouse's father wants her to license her name to a perfume house for £500,000. [Telegraph]
• And Lily Allen is doing a line of jewelry. "I love jewelry, always have done," explains the pop star. [Vogue UK]
• A 1994 Arte documentary about Yves Saint Laurent, Tout Terriblement, is being released on DVD. [WWD]
• In London next Thursday, a Chanel-themed flash mob has been announced. Anyone wearing Chanel, or Chanel-esque outfits should meet like-minded sartorial souls at St. Pancras International Station at 6 p.m. [UK Elle]
• 19-year-old Georgian Sean O'Pry topped Forbes' list of the highest-earning male models. There are pictures. [Forbes]
• Retail executives' pay fell last year. The 10 top-earning executives compensation packages decreased by 9.4%. [WWD]
• Could Fabiola Beracasa really be developing a reality show in the style of Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations, where she flies around the world looking for...unusual fashion? [P6]
• Daniel Vosovic, Santino Rice, Korto Momolu, Sweet P, Jeffrey Sebelia, Uli Herzner, Mychael Knight and Chris March are the designers returning to Project Runway for a second helping of Tim Gunn's soothing drone and Heidi Klum's adenoidal exhortations. Project Runway: All-Star Challenge will be broadcast as a two-hour special before the show's sixth season premiere. All we want to know is whatever happened to Andrae? [People]
• Jeremy Scott is yet another designer heading to London Fashion Week this fall. Though based in Los Angeles, Scott normally shows in Paris. [WWD]
• MAC cosmetics is ending its sponsorship of fashion week, and instead holding its own competing roster of shows at Milk studios in Chelsea. Proenza Schouler, Erin Fetherston, and Alexander Wang have already committed to slots in the lineup. [NYTimes]
• Alex Wang on his day off, according to his friend Ryan Korban: "We do a lot of driving around - he loves driving. So we drive out to Brooklyn and just kind of cruise around. He's always got the music blasting and he's singing. It's surprising, but he's a really good driver. He's screaming and the music is to the max and he's drinking an iced coffee, but he's completely steady." [W]
• Esteban Cortazar is out at Emanuel Ungaro, WWD is reporting. The young Colombian designer had clashed with the house's management over advertising and the brand's direction; his collections met with mixed reviews, and at last month's resort show, the Ungaro CEO refused to say if Cortazar would be kept on. No successor has yet been named. [WWD]
• The quirky downtown gallery Partners & Spade got written about in the Times. Oh well — nothing good lasts forever. [NYTimes]
• Ozwald Boateng, the Ghana-born, London-based all-round spectacular menswear designer and tailor, made two suits for President Obama and hand-delivered them to the American ambassador to Ghana during the president's recent visit. If Obama wore Boateng's suits, nobody would call him frumpy, ever. [WWD]
• Another story about Crocs and what they mean. [LATimes]
• The New York Economic Development Corporation-run industry site NYCFashionInfo.com, which collates insidery arcana like designer showroom contacts and market week dates, might start accepting advertising and publishing more "lifestyle content" because it only attracts 2,000 visitors a month. [WWD]
• Apparel sales in England in the month of June rose by 1.2%. [FT]
• Skechers lost $5.9 million in the second quarter. The result was actually better than analysts had expected. [WWD]>

• Mischa Barton goes on record about that epic headband launch we mentioned! Quoth the actress formerly known as Marissa Cooper, "People want to see that you can deliver and do, like, a good job.” [WWD]

• Belstaff is designing Harry Potter's latest wizard robe. But isn't that dictated by millennia of magical tradition? [WWD]
• We get the whole "haha 'lipstick lesbians'" thing, but still...L Word lipsticks? Anyhoo, choose between Bette, Kit, Alice, and Shane. [Bellasugar]
• A Brooklyn administrator claims the many grands she stole for a Victoria's Secret habit was for the benefit of the school's Fifth Graders. The judge deemed this one of a "rich array of implausible excuses" [New York Post]
• The Lanvin/Acne collaboration is as pricey as everyone feared. [Fashionista]
• This holiday shopping season is "the worst in memory." [WWD]
• Model and homeless-style enthusiast was burgled - while at home. The bold thieves marched in and lifted a bunch of designer tags. [New York Post]
• Azzaro launches an e-commerce site. Maybe for all those bashful richies practicing futive consumption? [WWD]
• The ElleUK staff's New Year's resolutions seem to involve a lot of expensive skincare products. [ElleUK]
• Celebs' Christmas lists: expensive stuff. [Fabsugar]
• Speaking of living it up: check out the "sweet room" at Asprey's Christmas bash, "filled with Christmas trees made from pink and green Ladurée macaroons, miniature cupcakes and chocolate fountains." [WWD]
• "There's nothing sexy about bread lines." So begins this kinda tasteless but still terrific ode to "depression-era" glam. [Style.com]
• Dutch artist Thomas Voorn makes "textile graffiti" that says stuff like "Cosmic Christian Ceremony." [Sassybella]
• Eilidh MacAskill, managing editor of InStyle, takes the helm as EIC of British InStyle. [FashionWeekDaily]
• Pret a Portea, London's "cult afternoon fashion tea" now has a Vespa that delivers to fashionistas' doors. [VogueUK]
• Blair Waldorf cover theft! [Fashionista]
• Here's a slideshow of celebrities in their own designs. They look as embarrassed as we feel. [Daily news]

Scott's line is set to debut March 12th at Colette, and will be available to Americans in the middle of February. The iconic plastic doll is also having an entire fashion show dedicated to her in New York, which Jeremy Scott is contributing to. And! Mattel just announced their sponsorship of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in New York. If the fashion trickle-down theory is correct, it looks like we will all be wearing hot pink dresses with matching heels next year. [Nylon]

• Sacha Baron Cohen's fashionisto alter ego, the fey Austrian Bruno, stormed the catwalk in layers of schmatte during Agatha Ruiz de la Prada's runway show, setting off a security panic. Ultimately they had to call the police; all this will obvs end up in the upcoming Bruno movie. [Perez Hilton]
• Responding to the extreme shortage of celeb fashion lines, Rihanna confirms that she's launching one: “I can’t say when it will be released, but it’s definitely going to happen.” [WWD]
• Naomi Campbell loses her shit at D&G. [WWD]
• Model Lily Cole gives us conservation advice in the intro to eco tome Green is the New Black: “I would encourage sewing together your own stuff, and keeping that stuff even as it falls apart (a good look, I really believe). I would also encourage a change in attitude… what’s a good sweater without a hole?... Please remember, or at least consider, that holes are beautiful, too!” [Nylon]

• The words "complete creative control" should give Adidas pause; they've given it to Jeremy Scott for his new line. [WWD]
• Responding to the needs of a rapidly aging population, Japanese adult diaper designers hold a "fashion show." [CBS]
• Tommy Hilfiger and Peggy Noonan apparently didn't really hit it off. [BlackBook]
• Apparently, in addition to being hideous and ludicrous, the Comme des Garcons for for H&M line is really expensive. [Fashionista]
• With usually dependable Russian and Asian buyers in abeyance, Milan's designers are in a panic. [FT]
• Well, some of them. "In the current climate, at the end of a long week, there's something reassuring about designers who are unashamedly getting on with business as usual. Credit crunch? What credit crunch?" [ElleUK]
• At least Cavalli takes the pulse of the times: "In possibly the most inexplicable collection so far, transparent pastel Wedgwood print chiffon milkmaid dresses were followed by Marie Antoinette peony-posied minis complete with thigh-grazing bustle, which were followed by black Studio 54 jersey slithers, which were followed by neon yellow and chartreuse graphic balloon dresses, which were followed by see-through long white lace governess dresses with little black bows at the neck and pigeon-tail lace tiers at the back, which were followed by marabou-trimmed gold scripted chiffon pyjamas." [FT]
• With peeps cutting back on dry-cleaning, wash and wear fashion is big business. [Reuters]
• In a triumph of frugality, people drop a bundle at Hermes sample sale. [NY Times]
• Balenciaga's casting male models, which means either menswear or drag, and can we just say we're over drag? Can these designers at least pretend they're designing for women's bodies?! [Fashionista]
• Re-usable shopping bags aren't really all that green. Wah-wah. [WSJ]
• Typically generous British journalism: "The encouraging truth is that Twiggy does not look nearly as young in the flesh as she does in most of the photographs in her new book about how to look fabulous over 40. She has, I am heartened to observe when we meet in a London hotel, a slight tummy, jowly bits and a light craquelure of wrinkles." [Telegraph]
• The much-reviled lifestyle guru Gwyneth Paltrow's new Tod's commercial: "The full length commercial, which was modeled after "La Dolce Vita" and featured Gwynnie being chased by papparazzi, losing her bag and having it returned to her by a charming reporter...There were lots of close-ups of the bag, of course. Loving, glorious close-ups." [Washington Post]
• Rebellious Belgian designers want to be business iconoclasts, too. [WSJ]
• The unrest at Pucci as loud as its patterns! [NY Mag]
• Manolo Blahnik turns on the heel! "It's much more difficult to be beautiful and walk femininely in flats...Bardot in France did it and Audrey Hepburn in America. They looked fantastic and walked like tigers, beautiful and graceful, but you can walk like a beach bum in them - then they don't look so good." [VogueUK]
• Why don't we get awesome free stuff with American fashion mags? [Fashionista]
• Michael Kors opens first Euro boutique. [Fashion Week Daily]