[Los Angeles, December 9. Image via Pacific Coast News]

• Lindsay Lohan is taking legal action against Michael Lohan, who has been talking about kidnapping her and putting her in rehab. Her lawyer says she's seeking a restraining order and may file a defamation lawsuit against him. [TMZ]

• Sales for Chris Brown's comeback tour are pitiful. He used to sell out 20,000 seat arenas, but after tickets went on sale this weekend for 1,000-2,5000 seat venues many are still available. [Perez Hilton]
• At the link is a preview of Chris Brown's MTV interview that airs on Friday (hours before Rihanna's 20/20 interview). Chris says of the assault, "What was I thinking?" [MTV]
• Mariah Carey says she "can't imagine" what Rihanna went through when Chris Brown beat her. "I was very sequestered, as you know, when I first started out and if I were just allowed to be young and with a young boyfriend who's also a star and you know, you're working and you're both — I don't know what goes on," she says. "You know what I mean? So it's like, I wasn't really allowed out of the house, so I can't imagine what she went through." [Us]
• No Doubt is suing the makers of the video game Band Hero because they say they only authorized the use of their likenesses to play three No Doubt songs, but the game has "transformed No Doubt band members into a virtual karaoke circus act" by having them "sing, dance and perform over sixty songs." They're also mad because Gwen Stefani's avatar can sing with a man's voice and perform the song "Honkey Tonk Woman," which has lyrics about sleeping with prostitutes. [TMZ]
• Reps for Josh Duhamel and Fergie deny that he cheated on her saying, "This is not the first nor will it be the last time that a stripper was paid a large amount of money to sell a false story about a celebrity... This story is absolutely ridiculous." [People]
• Britney Spears paid $1.32 million in the past seven months to the lawyers who represented her conservatorship. [TMZ]
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are on the cover of Harper's Bazaar (despite him also being on this month's Vanity Fair). Kristen says, "Rob can barely jump rope," and this has inspired her nickname for him. "I call him Flippy because when he does his stunt rehearsals, he flips around," she says, imitating a penguin's walk. "And God, when he tries to run..." She also calls Flippy's singing "heartbreaking." [Us]
• When asked about her romance with Robert Pattinson again, Kristen Stewart told Entertainment Weekly, "I've thought about this a lot... There's no answer that's not going to tip you one way or the other. Think about every hypothetical situation: ‘Okay, we are. We aren't. I'm a lesbian.' I'm just trying to keep something. If people started asking me if I was dating Taylor, I'd be like ‘Fuck off!' I would answer the exact same way." [Entertainment Weekly]
• Sean Penn's 16-year-old son Hopper Jack won't face drug charges following his arrest last week because police have determined the pills he was carrying were actually prescription medication in his name. [Radar Online]
• Though Winona Ryder recently told BlackBook Magazine that she never got a thank you from Angelina Jolie for getting her the role in Girl, Interrupted that launched her career, Angie did thank her — in her Oscar acceptance speech. [L.A.T.]
• The National Enquirer claims Jennifer Lopez is fighting with her ex-husband Ojani Noa, who wants to release 11 hours of home movies that show her fighting with her mother, "playing sexy bedroom games," and staring at her butt in a mirror. [National Enquirer]
• Penny Marshall has been diagnosed with a brain tumor and secretly underwent brain surgery last week. This story is from the National Enquirer, so hopefully it's not true. [National Enquirer]
• Dennis Hopper says he's being treated prostate cancer with "an experimental thing at USC." He said it's "no big deal" and he "feels great." [TMZ]
• Though Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman say they broke up, they went out to a Manhattan bar on Halloween. "Staff were ordered to keep the fake Jons away from him," said a source. "Someone asked to take a picture but he said he wanted to be left alone. Once the crowds were away he and Hailey looked like a normal couple." [Us]
• Jessica Simpson and Dolly Parton are bonding over their big boobs. Dolly Tweeted: "Aahhh chiropractor... Hurts so good :-) you lug these around and see if your back don't hurt!" Jess replied: "Amen sister :)." [CNN]
• Yet another creditor's claim against Michael Jackson's estate: Atkins Thomson Solicitors in London is asking for $209,204.36 for advising MJ on the sale of Neverland. [TMZ]
• Sadie Frost says of Jude Law, "We're continuing to have a very close relationship and I'm here to support him as a friend. That won't stop. He's a wonderful person and I'll stand by him forever. For all the silliness and difficulties, we've always really cared for each other and we're both a hundred per cent committed to the kids and doing the right thing by them. Everything's fine." [Daily Express]
• The terms of the settlement between Carrie Prejean and Miss California USA have been leaked. The Pageant will pay $100,000 directly to paying her lawyers and publicists, and Carrie gets nothing but the organization's promise not to fight her for writing a book without permission. [TMZ]
• Carrie Prejean was demanding more than a million dollars in her settlement negotiations with Pageant officials, until they revealed that they have a XXX home video of Prejean that has never been released publicly. [TMZ]
• Looks like the lawsuits may be back on. Carrie Prejean's lawyer says she may sue because of the sex tape rumor. "It seems as if someone has acted in an unethical and unlawful manner by even raising this issue," said her lawyer. "We are weighing our options and if this is a breach of contract we are considering suing for punitive damages." [Radar Online]
• Terrence Howard and Taraji P. Henson insist they are not dating. "I've known her too long. She knows what I'm thinking!" says Howard. [Us]
• Frances Bean Cobain threw a tantrum when she found out there was a problem with her train ticket from Boston to New York. A source says: "She caused a huge backup on the line because she refused to pay herself. She was causing a scene and saying her name loudly to the guy behind the counter, but he had no idea who she was. Finally, she got out of line to call her business manager, who paid for her ticket." [Daily Express]
• Katy Perry says she's gotten some tips on hosting the MTV European Music Awards from her boyfriend Russell Brand, who hosted the VMAs. "We're stepping on each others turfs. I've learned a couple of things from Russell over the last months that might not be appropriate for this!" she said. [The Sun]
• Porn star Janine Lindemulder, who is fighting her ex Jesse James and Sandra Bullock over custody of her 5-year-old daughter, says she wants to sit down with Bullock as "two women" because, "It hurts tremendously, the accusation, especially from Sandra... Even more so because we've never sat down and talked. You know, that's the one thing that I wish more than anything, for a remedy for what's happening here, is just communication." [ABC News]
• Liz Hurley has launched a line of organic foods like oat and fruit bars and jerky. "It's compulsory portion control. I've never been able to chop a Jaffa Cake in half and just eat one piece," she said. [Style.com]
• A 27 foot-tall firework-filled effigy of Katie Price will be burned this weekend in England. [The Mirror]
• Robbie Williams says he though he was destined to remain a bachelor until he met American actress Ayda Field. He said: "I thought I was going to be a bachelor ... I was introduced to Ayda and things just changed - she's a wonderful person and I'm in love." [The Mirror]
• David Spade says he doesn't regret resurrecting a scene from Tommy Boy featuring Chris Farley for a DirecTV ad. Chris' brother Kevin Farley added that the commercial is "an honor to my brother." [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton says: "I'm just figuring out what my next move will be and really looking at a lot of different projects and figuring out what I want to do," now that The Beautiful Life has been cancelled. [Us]
• Farrah Fawcett's college boyfriend Greg Lott told Inside Edition that he and Farrah had rekindled their relationship and were together for the last 11 years, but Ryan O'Neal kept him from her funeral. [UPI]
• Jennifer Hudson says she's not done having kids. "Maybe one more. I'd like to have at least one more, a little girl," says Hudson. "I want a girl and then maybe another one. You know, one baby at a time." [People]
• Natalie Portman says of the role of the short shelf life imposed on actresses, "You see people who were stars five years ago and already they're waning... As actresses approach 40, it starts becoming really, really difficult." [People]
• At the link is a short film made by Richard Heene which shows the Henne family driving down a deserted road in a Jeep, and Heene playing the harmonica while a woman dances on the roof of the car." [Radar Online]
• The Kardashians charity boxing event went awry when Rob Kardashian's mask fell off and he had to be taken to the hospital. Kim Kardashian made it out with just a black eye. [E!]
• When Oprah Winfrey asked Hilary Swank if she plans to marry her boyfriend of three years John Campisi she said, "It's not something we're talking about... I don't know. We'll see." [People]
• Ryan Seacrest's production company is developing a show called Bank of Hollywood in which rich Hollywood celebrities will take pitches from ordinary people who need cash, ranging from people raising money for charity to a grad student who can't afford a ring to propose to his girlfriend. "The idea's simple," Seacrest said. "We are giving away tons of money to everyday people to alleviate the stress of today's climate and have fun." [Live Feed]
• When asked if she would like to marry Mel Gibson, Oksana Grigorieva said, "Yes, but right now we're just so happy to be having this child together." [People]
• Debi Mazar says, "Madonna and I have been friends for almost three decades — dear friends... Our children have had play dates, and we will always be friends." [Us]
• Barry Gibb of The Bee Gees says he and his brother Robin Gibb are, "Like a non-violent version of Oasis... The competition between Robin and I is so strong, we both want attention so badly, that it actually brings something better out of both of us. It's like a basketball team, one player is pushing the other to rise to a different level. If I didn't have Robin to compete with, I wouldn't be able to do what I do." [The Telegraph]
• Jeremy Piven's rep says his recent comments on growing man boobs were taken out of context. "[Piven's comment] was taken from a silly Q&A piece that he did for a U.K. [movie] magazine called Empire," said his rep. Piven's rep. "They asked him, 'How much is a pint of milk?' to which he responded, 'I don't have a clue.' He said he used to drink soy milk, found out it had too much estrogen, made a funny remark about growing breasts and that was it." [TV Guide]
• Anti-rape activist Gabrielle Union says of the Richmond gang rape case: "I'm sad more than anything. After googling the gang rape story in Richmond and reading comments on blogs, it just leaves me sickened and really sad. The fact that race and socio-economics have been used to explain away a brutal gang rape...just sad...maybe I just have seen every kind of rapist and survivor...every race, color, religion, socio-economic status group...it's all the same...a lack of regard for violence against women. Tolerated, and in this case encouraged by the mob surrounding the perps...laughing, joking and taking pics." [Shakesville]
• Dustin Hoffman says his favorite memory of the New York Public Library is, "It's the first place I ever got laid... It was in the nonfiction section in 1958." When asked if he was being serious he replied, "I wasn't serious, but she was." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Alec Baldwin said he's heard about less than 5,000 people watching 30 Rock when it premiered in Germany. "It was so low that we didn't even have a rating," he said. "We didn't even get one rating point... We have work to do in Germany." [N.Y.T.]
• Alec Baldwin started a rumor about Julianne Moore guest starring on 30 Rock by saying, "I won't say who it is, but someone very near to us who may be coming on to play my girlfriend for four episodes," while standing near her on the red carpet. [E!]
• Hugh Jackman praised the the two men taking over as Oscar hosts this year, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, saying, "They are both fantastic. Steve actually gave me a lot of funny hints last year ... I rang him and he was really helpful. He is really funny and he knows what he's doing. He's done this before. Alec Baldwin is also a true genius. I think the both of them together have hosted Saturday Night Live like 100 times, so you know they must be funny." [N.Y. Magazine]
• "Living in New York, I feel stronger and more like a woman than ever before. In high school, it was like, what power do I have - I have long blonde hair, you know? But working as hard as I do now, I feel a sense of power and respect, too. And I've learned an incredible amount about fashion on Gossip Girl. Clothes are a personal expression, and my style is as ever-changing as I am: I'm growing, maturing, developing, I'm going through new things in my life, and with that, what I choose to wear changes." — Blake Lively [Just Jared]
• When UK Glamour asked Leighton Meester if she's a "good girlfriend," she said, "I don't know... it's not really the goal of my existence." [ONTD]
• Woody Allen has explained how you can tell whether one of his films is good or bad. "If I look at the film and it's no good, I don't like to give it an aggressive title, I give it ... the kind of title that is low-key and promises nothing, so people are less disappointed by it." As for his next film You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger he says, "Well, that was a very aggressive title, so you can hope that it's a good movie. If I didn't think it was a good film, I would give it a quiet one-word title to deflect attention from it - so now you know the secret." [N.Y. Magazine]

• Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise were surprise guests at a "massive" Scientology party in England last week.

Four thousand other Scientologists — including John Travolta and Kelly Preston — were part of a "rapturous, fist-pumping crowd." It was the 25th anniversary of the International Association of Scientologists. Fun? Oh, also: There were protesters outside, and Tom said: "They're squirrels. Stuck in an electronic incident. It makes me so angry!" Wait, what? [Us Magazine]

• Speaking of Travolta: The extortion case has gone to the jury. [TMZ]
• This could be amazing: Ridley Scott is in talks with Angelina Jolie to play a femme fatale role in Gucci — a drama about murder and decadence in the Gucci fashion dynasty. In 1995, right before he was about to reestablish the brand by debuting Tom Ford's line, Maurizio, the grandson of founder Guccio Gucci, was gunned down in Milan. [Variety]
• I'm sure you'll find this simply shocking, but Gerard Butler has had a threesome in the past year. [The Sun]
• What's this? Renée Zellweger says she hasn't signed on for a third Bridget Jones flick?!?! "I get asked every single day, and I don't know anything," she says. "It's a rumor." [E!, Us]
• Halle Berry's daughter Nahla is learning to play golf. No, really: daddy Gabirel Aubry says: "She's learning to play golf. She has a little hole in the backyard." [People]
• Rumpus, a Great Dane who starred in three Lady Gaga music videos, was found dead after a hike in Los Angeles. [TMZ]
• Colin Farrell has a newborn son, his second child. [Independent]
• Heidi Montag didn't go to her sister Holly Montag's birthday party because no one was paying her an appearance fee. [Fox News]
• Poor Dave Chappelle was trying to set the Laugh Factory's endurance record for continuous stand up comedy, but five hours into his routine, he walked away to go to the bathroom. Disqualified! [USA Today]
• Boo. Mark Ronson will never work with Lily Allen again. Boo. [The Sun]
• A series of emails reveal that the Swiss Federal Office of Justice faxed the U.S. Office of International Affairs letting the Americans know about Roman Polanski's planned appearance in Zurich and asking if the US would be submitting a request for Polanski's arrest. [CBS News]
• Three New York prison officials have quit their jobs following a scandal involving rapper Foxy Brown; they reportedly let her do a photo shoot to promote her new album, despite the fact that she was behind bars. Investigators will try to reveal if she received preferential treatment. You think? [Contact Music]
• Gossip Girl paychecks: Blowing in the wind. [Page Six]
• Alec Baldwin's got jokes! Speaking at the Elle Women In Hollywood event, he said: "I want to assure you that I didn't steal this role from a more qualified woman. There was an audition process. The audition required me to move a couch, fall asleep in front of the TV, and open a particularly stubborn jar of pickles." And! ""If Tom Cruise would simply lower his quote by a mere $29 million, my salary would not make a difference. My annual salary is the budget for Altoids on one of Tom's movies." And! Renée Zellweger "is so tiny, but she's got a big voice. I've been to parties with her and you can hear her voice anywhere, but you can't understand a word she says." More at the link. [People]
• Mischa Barton is trying to trademark her name in Australia, but there's already a company called Mischa Accessories. What to do?!?! [News.com.au]
• Victoria Beckham will be a guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance — in the UK. Sorry 'Mericans. [Daily Mail]
• Viewers submitted almost 9,000 questions for Kate Gosselin to answer during her TLC one-hour special on Monday. Here's one more: When will you go away? [People]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Life & Style is proclaiming its latest issue (out today) a "Special Gosselin-Free Issue." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Guy Ritchie is a distant relative of King Edward 1, and when you look at a side by side comparison, there's a resemblance! The nose? And the jaw? [Daily Mail]
• Rob Burnett, executive producer of The Late Show with David Letterman, has replied to NOW, who called the workplace a "toxic environment." Burnett's letter reads: "As an employee of David Letterman's since 1985, I have personally found the work environment on his shows to be fair, professional and entirely merit-based at all times." He also points out that 58% of the Late Show staff are women. [LA Times]
• A fan approached Freida Pinto in London; Freida accidentally bumped into her; the woman stumbled and fell in front of a car; Freida rushed to make sure the woman was okay; everyone was fine and it was a happy ending caught on camera. [This Is London]
• Take a deep breath and relax: Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's prenup is a done deal. [TMZ]
• OMG! Dancing With The Stars flu outbreak! Run for the hills! [People]
• Salman Rushdie is pissed that his ex-girlfriend said he was still obsessed with his ex-wife, Padma Lakshmi. He says: "I long ago turned the page and moved on." [Page Six]
• Glenn Beck travels with an armed guard. Even when he goes to the bathroom. [Page Six]
• "A strip club worker accused of beating to death the ex-fiance of a Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member has been freed on bond." [CBS News]
• At the link: James Gandolfini, Elaine Stritch and fat jokes. [Page Six]
• Blind items! "Which married music mogul is said to have impregnated an unmarried woman who works for his label in marketing? She's on maternity leave while he's mulling options. Which still gorgeous ex-supermodel doesn't use her own skin-care line, which she hawks on TV? She secretly uses Somme Institute's MDT5 regimen instead. Which son of a rock icon used his name to score six free tickets to a Broadway show, but then never showed up?" [Page Six]
• "The trouble is, before, I felt married to two people — Pete and our management." — Whatshername. [Daily Mail]
• "I wish to make it perfectly clear for the record that my manager, Claire Powell, who I have known for the past 16 years, is my manager and a personal friend. She has never betrayed me or done anything other than support me, which is more than can be said for my ex wife." — Whatshisname. [The Sun]
• "There were times when I thought that a whole bottle of pills would go down easy… Then I noticed the gun in my hand. I was careless with it… I kept my finger pressed right to that trigger … and if I moved that finger an inch in the right direction… I would have blown my brains out." — Hulk Hogan writes about his suicidal thoughts after his divorce in his new book. [Page Six, Gatecrasher]
• "I am an atheist. I have a very different take on who God is. Man invented God because he needed him. God is us." — 87-year-old Carl Reiner, who has two new books out. The story at the link details his fascinating life from a high schooler in New York to working in the garment industry to becoming a writer/director. [LA Times]
• "I know what they're eating and I know what they're doing. Their friends' parents understand their vegetarian and no-TV needs. I give them age-appropriate messages. It's just like most parents don't allow alcohol or cigarettes. I tell them that everyone does things differently and that's OK. It's very important to us to raise nonjudgmental children who don't go finger-wagging. When they're driving themselves around, they're going to make their own decisions, but fast food isn't something I'm gonna facilitate. Still, at some point they"re going to make their own decisions. You give your children wings so they can fly." — Mayim Bialik on raising her kids holistically and via "green mothering." [HuffPo]
• "I've offered to come on Saturday Night Live because I thought I would help them get the ratings. Because clearly that humor that they had when they first had Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi ... has gone (with) this (current) cast of characters. I thought I would show some benevolence as governor and help them out a little bit." — Governor David Paterson, who is often mocked on SNL for being blind. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I've written two autobiographies and posed for Playboy. I think I've pretty much been out there. But this is definitely the most exposed I've ever been." — Carnie Wilson on her hew reality series, Carnie Wilson: Unstapled, in which viewers will see her trying to take off about 50 pounds of "baby weight." [AP]
• "We've had a real good collaboration. Crucially, she approved me as director, and she didn't have to. We had some discussions that were very important — my convincing her that I didn't want to take her baby and run away with it, or tell a story that was counter to the spirit of what she was trying to tell. I see myself, in the last few movies I've done, as adapting literary properties into film, so that's how I treated this one. We got along like a house on fire." — Chris Weitz, who's directing New Moon, kept in contact with Twilight series author Stephenie Meyer. [Hollywood Reporter]
• "I like kissing women sometimes. Women are pretty. It doesn't mean I'm necessarily sleeping with them." — Adam "Glambert" Lambert, to Details. You saw the pix, right? [Page Six]
• "He was eating chips and dip and he was laughing so hard, he started choking. I thought I'd killed Tony Romo. Here it would be like killing David Beckham or Pele, it was a scary moment."— Jeremy Piven told a deadly joke. [Mirror]
• "We have found the quality of life so much more enriching and fulfilling. The civility, the culture, the people and its beauty have reawakened me and have smoothed out some of my bleak and jagged views about people and life." — Lisa Marie Presley, who had twins last year, has left L.A. for London. [Contact Music]
• "[Quitting the show] was a complete anomaly in my life and my career. I've never missed out on anything. I relished the opportunity to be on Broadway… It's the holy grail for people like me. But I was incredibly ill. The levels of mercury I had, they had no reference for them. I had to be retested three times. Sometimes when you work without stopping, your body gives in. That is what happened. I've done more movies than years I've been alive. All I've done is work… I arrived in Los Angeles in my early 20s and I've been pounding the pavement ever since. But it wasn't until Entourage that my work became accessible to so many people. If there's one thing I'm prepared for, it's rejection." — Jeremy Piven. [Guardian]
• "Sitting on an island smoking my first joint." — Tyler Perry, when asked where he would like to be in 10 years. [Page Six]
• "I told them, don't ask me to grow out my hair or lose any weight. I want to represent real women who have curves." — Amber Rose on signing with Ford Models. She did, however, agree not to get any more tattoos. [LA Times]

• Michael and Dina Lohan will work together on getting Lindsay Lohan off of pills. Says Michael Lohan. [Radar Online]

• Papa Lohan says of Lindsay: "Her problem is prescription drug use. I've seen pictures of her in Paris, and she looks totally out of it. There are morons hanging around her, and they have their hands on my daughter." [Gatecrasher]
• But! Dina Lohan says: "I don't go — like my ex — on national television and make things up. He's estranged from Lindsay; he doesn't know what's going on in her life. Michael doesn't talk to her. "I've had full custody of all my children for the last 10 years. He has been incarcerated for some of that time, so whatever is going on in Lindsay's personal life is our business. And for him getting paid to say things about her when he's five months behind in child support is wrong." Oh, and re: Ungaro, Dina sniffs: "The critics can say whatever they want, but Lindsay is a genius." [Page Six]
• "Leave Lindsay alone. Let her be a real 23-year-old. Let her grow, and let her artistic abilities flourish. Stop judging the Britneys and the Lindsays. They are very creative girls, and that is a gift from a higher power of God."— Dina Lohan. [Page Six]
• Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's personal physician, may face arrest — and could lose his medical license — after missing a late child support hearing. [NY Post]
• "The CBS producer accused of blackmailing David Letterman was convinced the comic king bedded 'six or seven' female staffers, a pal of the newsman said Thursday." [NY Daily News]
• A chimpanzee was supposed to be a guest judge on Dancing With The Stars on Tuesday, but PETA complained. This is not a joke. [NY Post]
• Nicole Kidman has teamed up with Omega watches — she signed watch boxes to benefit the United Nations Development Fund for Women. Fifty percent of the proceeds of the watch sales will go to UNIFEM. [WWD]
• Jon Gosselin didn't leave the twins' birthday party at 6pm — he stayed to put his kids to bed. And he was cordial to Kate. But did not spend the night. [TMZ, People]
• You know how Jon Gosselin brought a misspelled birthday cake (it's "Mady", not "Maddy") to his kids' birthday party? Well it was sort of an insult to Kate, who was making a cake from scratch. [BBC News]
• Mischa Barton was spotted buying rounds of shots for Ryan Ross — formerly of Panic At The Disco; currently in Young Veins. [Gatecrasher]
• Mischa Barton was spotted getting out a cab in front of a bar, yelling "I need a drink!" Been there. [Page Six]
• Uh-oh, Nicolas Cage owes over six million dollars in unpaid taxes. Uncle Sam doesn't like that. [TMZ]
• Dr. Phil is denying that he forced a woman to stare at a naked man and grabbed her breast. [TMZ]
• Hilary Swank walks around naked in front of her boyfriend's son. "You wonder at what age you should stop walking around nude," she admits. "But he doesn't look twice. He doesn't think about it yet." Really? He's 6 years old. [Gatecrasher via Marie Claire]
• Khloe Kardashian will now be known as Khloe Kardashian Odom. Adjust accordingly. [Page Six]
• Robin Williams will do his stand up act, Weapons Of Self Destruction, in NYC in November, his first show since having heart surgery. [NY Daily News]
• LOL: Woody Harrelson gets his zombie punchlines from Paul McCartney. [NY Post]
• Mya's dress split at a party; she used safety pins and staples to cobble it back together. Stars are just like us! [Page Six]
• "The husband of Danielle Staub from "Real Housewives of New Jersey" claims she strait up lied when she called him a rapist and a dog murderer ... and now he's suing her for defamation." [TMZ]
• At the link is a recap and insider report and blow-by-blow account of Jeremy Piven's Broadway drama/Speed-the-Plow meltdown. [NY Times]
• Kylie Minogue will do a residency in Vegas? Makes total sense. [Mirror]
• Speaking of Kylie: her ex-boyfriend Olivier Martinez has accepted undisclosed libel damages over a claim that he had cheated on her during their long-term relationship. The Sun apparently makes stuff up. [The Star]
• Breaking: Audrina Patridge is single and happy. [People]
• Kristen Bell will star as Christina Aguilera's rival in Burlesque, a musical drama about "a small-town girl with a big-town voice who finds love and success in a neo-burlesque club." You guys, Cher plays the club owner. CHER. [Hollywood Reporter]
• On the Wanda Sykes HBO special: "She is… the funniest person in America… Sykes gets the crowd laughing early and keeps them laughing to the end, with no significant down time and no cheap tricks… [It] all builds to a prolonged, brilliant segment on being gay and black that puts a racial spin on every coming-out cliché- making us see both with new eyes." [USA Today]
• "Filmmaker Steven Spielberg, long recognized for his artistic achievements, was honored with the Liberty Medal on Thursday for his compassion and humanitarian work." [AP]
• Parker Posey has joined the cast of Highland Park, a dark comedy with Danny Glover. The film focuses on the high school faculty in a struggling community. In the story, a teacher wins the lottery and uses the cash to restore the local library; the film is actually attempting to help reopen a real library in Detroit. [Hollywood Reporter]
• "Thursday's episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta took a dark turn. Following the news of the death of Anthony "AJ" Jewel outside his Atlanta strip club last week, viewers watched his then-fiancée, Housewife Kandi Burruss, waver about the future of their relationship - awkwardly unaware, as the cameras rolled, that the relationship had no future." [People]
• Isaiah Washington: Still looking for jobs. Sources say it's not because of the Grey's fallout, but because he is difficult to work with. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Gloria Estefan bought 2,000 tickets for her concert in Puerto Rico this weekend and will distribute them via raffle among 17,000 recently laid-off government workers. [AP]
• Gladys Knight is embarking on a farewell tour? Is she taking a midnight train? [Independent]
• "I'm in 'Gay Paris' — I swear as an Englishman that by the time I leave tomorrow it'll be known as 'Hetero Paris.' Or at least Bi Paris." — Russell Brand. [NY Daily News]
• "I was always thinking 'how am I going to keep my old chap in my pants?' But Ayda and me are very loved up – sprogs on the way and all that business. I don't know what will go on down the road, but I don't want to do anything to fuck it up or do anything to upset her." — Robbie Williams on gf Ayda Field. [Telegraph]
• "My dad went into a rant. Farrah came flying at him to defend herself, he blocked her and, in the process, broke her arm. They spun the truth to protect Ryan (but) I was there, I saw it happen." — Griffin O'Neal says his father Ryan O'Neal cheated on Farrah Fawcett and was abusive. [Daily Express]
• "It's obviously very strange, a little mad. Especially the [Audrey] Hepburn comparisons. I mean, that's such a lovely thing to say about the film, and I see it in the Paris montage. But you know, I didn't think about the end product much when I was making it. I just thought, what fun! There's Emma Thompson! I had to fight for this part; I auditioned three times and must have called my agent every day for two months afterwards. I knew it was a special gang going in, but I just thought…oh, I have to play Jenny. Her journey is enormous." — Carey Mulligan on all the buzz her performance in new film An Education is getting, in which she plays "a fiercely intelligent teenage girl living in barely pre-Beatles London." [The Daily Beast]
• "It's fucking weird. I'll be the first to admit that New York is one of the greatest cities in the world. But what you see on screen is not the life we really lead." — Gossip Girl's Penn Badgley, who likes taco stands, not fancy restaurants. [BlackBook]
• "The only expert thing I know about a relationship is that I don't know anything. I think every time I think I know something, obviously you then learn that you don't know anything, but I do know this to be true: I know that men marry women hoping that they will not change, and women marry men hoping that they will change, and inevitably, everyone's disappointed." — Vince Vaughn. [Independent]
• "Younger guys are generally more adventurous, not set in their ways. I don't like guys my age because they are normally either married or divorced and grumpy, fat and balding." — Madonna. [Daily Express]

[London, October 5. Image via Flynet]

• Supposedly, Johnny Depp doesn't want to make another Pirates of the Caribbean because he knows the last two "sucked." Disney will offer him a huge paycheck and if he refuses, he'll be replaced by a younger Zac Efron-type.

• The book On Stranger Tides, upon which the fourth Pirates film will be based, leaves room for a younger character to take the lead, but could someone like Shia LaBeouf or Robert Pattinson really fill the void left by Captain Jack? [MTV]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married earlier this month in a small ceremony in France. [Life And Style]
• Jessica Simpson is doing some damage control after the negative reaction to her complaints about having to sleep under a mosquito net in Uganda on Friday. Her rep said, "The accommodations were certainly interesting, but Jessica enjoyed being a part of a totally different culture." And the next day Jess Tweeted on Sunday: "Uganda was truly a beautiful adventure... I will carry the spirit of all the people with me always. God Bless." [People]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer called into Good Morning America today to say that though his client was arrested in Switzerland on Saturday, he's in "very good shape" and he believes it will be possible for Polanski "to obtain his freedom." [TMZ]
• French foreign minister Bernard Kouchner called Roman Polanski's arrest a "bit sinister" and a petition protesting his detention is going around Hollywood. So far Monica Bellucci and Fanny Ardant have signed. Harvey Weinstein said, "We're calling on every film-maker we can to help fix this terrible situation." [BBC]
• Roman Polanski has refused to be extradited from Switzerland to the United States. [AFP]
• Two previous attempts to arrest Roman Polanski when he travelled to countries that have extradition treaties to the U.S. failed because he learned of the plans and cancelled his trips. But he travels to Switzerland frequently and "had no suspicion he'd be entrapped" according to a source. [People]
• TMZ has obtained the 911 call that lead to David Hasselhoff being taken to the hospital last week. In the first, one of his ex-wife Pamela Bach's friends calls 911 to report an incident at Hasselhoff's home, but when the dispatcher calls the house and get his daughter Hayley, she says, "Turn around ... we're completely fine... My mom is trying to cause something ... nothing happened here at all." [TMZ]
• Burglars broke into Gwen Stefani's London mansion to steal her jewelry on Saturday night while she was at a concert in Singapore. They got into a flat Stefani rents to Dame Elizabeth Forgan, head of the Arts Council, but were unable to get into Stefani's flat. [Daily Mail]
• Britney Spears went to the Sugar Factory candy store in Las Vegas this weekend and spent $3,000. She bought three Halloween baskets, two buckets of Swedish Fish, a box of milk chocolate, and 25 of her own Circus Tour lollipops for $25 a piece. [TMZ]
• Pleasant Bridgewater, the Bahamian senator who was charged with extortion over a document regarding medical treatment for Jett Travolta, may have destroyed the document in question, a Refusal of Treatment/Transportation order signed by John Travolta. [People]
• Pamela Anderson is denying that she didn't pay contractors who worked on her home because she's broke, explaining, "I'm financially secure... It is true that I am in a dispute with some of the contractors working on my home. This is because after paying millions of dollars to build the house I continue to get bills from the contractors." [People]
• She adds, "Mistakes may have been made in calculating taxes owed and we are now in the process of ensuring that any taxes owed are paid." [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian Tweeted after her sister Khloe's wedding: "Tonight was one of the best nights of my life!" [People]
• The day after Khloe's wedding Kim Kardashian supposedly took a flight to New Orleans to see Reggie Bush. "The wedding made her miss him, so she flew to see him," says a source. [E!]
• This week, Lady Gaga will be honored as Billboard's "Rising Star" as the publication's annual Women in Music event. [AP]
• Evi and Randy Quaid's former private investigator Becky Altringer says that Evi frequently used a bad credit card under the name Janet Cross. [Radar Online]
• Altringer adds, "Randy told me that none of his family will see or talk to him because of Evi... He told me that he really misses his mother and his brother Dennis, but that they are all afraid of Evi. I used to see him tear up when he'd talk about them." [Radar Online]
• Mackenzie Phillips says of her family's reaction to her incest allegations, "Don't get me wrong, I understand that my family doesn't want this played out nationally, but the people who are saying that I'm lying have known about it for such a long time. [They're] trying to discredit me in a public way to either protect the brand of The Mamas and the Papas or to protect the memory of [my father.] ... I absolutely loved my father, but he wasn't a good man. He was deeply flawed." [CBS News]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt adopted a second puppy. Nine weeks ago they got a maltipoo puppy named Dolly and they says, "We're getting Dolly's brother and naming him Inky the Ninja!" [People]
• In the audiobook of Patrick Swayze's book Time of My Life, which he narrates, he says he felt "anger, bitterness and despair" when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. [People]
• Ben Lee and Ione Skye welcomed a daughter, Goldie Priya Lee, on Thursday. [People]
• First Republic Bank has put a hold on Frances Bean Cobain's $1.2 million trust fund because there's a dispute over whether Courtney Love or the Laird Norton Tyee Trustee Company has the right to access her account. Love's attorney says the band is just stalling because she and the trustee had agreed to move the money to a different bank and First Republic doesn't want to lose the account. [TMZ]
• Jaime Kennedy is claiming that a now-former assistant is responsible for the reports that he was cheating on Jennifer Love Hewitt. Perez Hilton suggests that Kennedy himself may have called and accused "Miguel" of making the rumors up. [Perez Hilton]
• Fred Durst and wife of two months, Esther Nazarov, have split up. He announced on Twitter: "For those of you inquiring, I will confirm that Esther and I have decided to go our separate ways and we both thank you for your support." He added, "We remain very positive and wish only the best for each other." [Perez Hilton]
• Jude Law says of playing Hamlet on Broadway, "He demands such a reveal of your inner feelings and thoughts that you have to open yourself up to him and see where he takes you." [Style.com]
• Kristin Cavallari says of working on The Hills, "I pretty much do anything they have me do because I don't care... I mean, we're filming a TV show. Let's make it interesting. Let's have a good time with it."
  [L.A. Times]
• Jeremy Piven's RocknRolla co-star Ludacris is clearing up the murcury poisoning rumors once and for all. He says: "A lot of people thought he was making up the mercury poisoning thing. I'm telling you, as his friend trying to look out for him, when he was around me, he definitely OD'd on fish."
  [N.Y. Observer]

• The L.A. County Coroner has ruled that Michael Jackson's death was a homicide caused by a mixture of the anesthetic propofol and the anti-anxiety drug lorazepam, but MJ had many other drugs running through his system when he died.

According to a statement released today by the coroner's office, the toxicology report also says midazolam, a muscle relaxant; diazepam, a.k.a Valium; lidocaine, a local anesthetic for needle burn; and ephedrine, a stimulant and decongestant. The final autopsy and toxicology reports will remain on security hold for now at the request of the LAPD. Dr. Conrad Murray's lawyer criticized the coroner's office for only releasing a summary of the report, calling it "gamesmanship." [N.Y. Times]

• John Krasinski and Emily Blunt are engaged. They have been dating since November 2008. [People]
• In the video at the link Christina Aguilera tears up while describing what a great husband and father Jordan Bratman is. [Perez Hilton]
• Jon Gosselin says, "I love Hailey... I'll always love Kate. I went through a whole bunch of pictures today, and it's sad to see something that was good turn bad but we moved in two different directions. We know that... I have no ill will toward Kate. She's the mother of my kids. She's a great mom. She does a lot for them." [People]
• Alicia Silverstone says she was OK with going nude in her new PETA ad because, "I used to spend a lot of time with Woody Harrelson, and he's not afraid to get naked. So, around him and his wife and their kids, I just think I got more grounded. I was like, 'This is my body, it's not some scary thing.'" [The Sun]
• Kelly Osbourne says she got addicted to opiates at age 16 when she was offered Vicodin by an acquaintance, but her addiction got worse when her mom was diagnosed with cancer in 2002. "I was trying to stay strong so I took Vicodin to hide the terrible sadness. But by this point, I was waking up and emptying six Vicodin into my hand. Soon I was taking 50 pills a day. Most people would overdose on ten," she said. [Daily Mail]
• The National Enquirer is of the opinion that Meg Ryan is dating producer Graham King, who is married and has two kids. [National Enquirer]
• New Moon director Chris Weitz says of Dakota Fanning, "She is very strange and very spooky in this movie. I think [Dakota] wanted to play an evil character for once." [People]
• According to a press release, Paula Abdul will host the Vh1 Divas Live concert on September 17.
• Though an arbitrator has ruled Jeremy Piven didn't violate his contract by leaving Speed the Plow due to a case of mercury poisoning, the National Fisheries Institute issued a statement on their website urging the media "to treat Piven's statements with skepticism... It is important to note that no peer reviewed medical journal has ever published any evidence of a case of methylmercury poisoning caused by the normal consumption of commercial seafood in the U.S. This ruling does not change that simple scientific fact." [N.Y. Times]
• Are Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane expecting a "little McSteamy"? A source says they've been trying to get pregnant for six months. [Life & Style]
• John Mayer kept up his end of the "find my mug shot" challenge, writing two checks totaling $25,000 today to animal charities selected by TMZ. [TMZ]
• Check out Rihanna on the cover of the couture supplement of Italian Vogue: [Socialite Life]
• At the link, New York Magazine takes a look back at "the Ballad of LiLo and Sam: a lesbian love story." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Sigourney Weaver doesn't strip in her new film You Again, but she does pole dance. "I didn't learn that at Yale," she says, "Although it would have been useful." [E!]
• Jamie Foxx brought his "Blame It" tour to New Orleans to cheer fans up on the night before the fouth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. [CBS News]
• Emily Deschanel says, "There absolutely will be more kissing" on the next season of Bones. [E!]
• Ricky Martin Tweeted an emo picture of himself on a train as he travelled across Asia and wrote: "Asia, a train, my backpace, some silence n that's it." [World Of Wonder]
• Channing Tatum's wife Jenna Dewan says she's proud of his stripper past, and has seen the video of his performance that recently surfaced. "When I saw it, I was like, "That's my husband! And that's all mine," she said. [E!]
• Tim McGraw, who has thrown fans out of his concerts twice for being abusive to women, says, "It's all about enjoying yourself and not messing with other people's fun, and certainly I don't think you should be abusive to women. I think that's No. 1 right there." [AP]
• Lily Allen says of her fondness for Twitter. ''My boyfriend gets really, really angry with me because he's just like 'I just want to spend some time with you, do we have to have one and a half million people in the room with us at one time?'. I'm like 'Yes, shut up.''' [Telegraph]
• Megan Fox says of kissing Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer's Body, "I feel much safer with girls, so I felt more comfortable kissing her in the movie than kissing any of the other people that I had to kiss. I think she was extremely uncomfortable. I don't think that - I know that. She was not comfortable and there was a lot of laughing - like, giggling fits that happened in between takes." [MTV]

• On Tuesday night, hours after his sentencing, Chris Brown partied at a night club in Hollywood. His probation report says he can't drink or be in places that serve alcohol, but he may get off on a technicality.

• In her sentencing order, the judge never mentioned this restriction and the judge trumps the probation department. Still, what was he celebrating? [TMZ]
• Chris Brown was at the club with a male friend and a "woman he seemed to be clearly dating." "He was in a great mood," said a source. "He jumped on the top of the back booth and did Michael Jackson 's 'Dirty Diana.' He danced on top of the booth all night." [N.Y. Post]
• Chris Brown's mother Joyce has released a statement, saying, "I just want to say from the bottom of my heart thank you for your continued support. I'm sorry I wasn't allowed to speak to anyone as this case was ongoing. I can now say this has been the most painful moment in my entire life, but knowing that you were still standing by Chris side in his time of need made this a little easier for us... I made a promise to him I would never be ashamed of him no matter where I am or who I talk to. You see this whole thing isn't about Chris it's about God. He wants to show all of you the goodness of him through Chris. Chris will be addressing all of his fans very soon. We love you so much and so does God." [Necole Betchie]
• Jon Gosselin was spotted with a black eye and several stitches over he eyebrow. A source says, "It's nothing, he's fine, he hit a cabinet." But surely the tabloids will come up with a more salacious explanation. [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin is taking his mom to Sin City. "I always promised my mom I'd take her to Vegas to see the shows and that kind of stuff," he says. "We're just going to do our own thing." [People]
• Gerard Butler was pictured with his hand on Jennifer Aniston's butt, and it doesn't appear that they were on set. [TMZ]
• Madonna was booed during a concert in Bucharest, Romania last night when she stopped the show to talk about the discrimination against "gypsies" in Eastern Europe. In the clip at the link she can be heard saying "god damn it" as the crowd shouts at her. [TMZ]
• The search warrant affidavit for Michael Jackson 's home said police found "tar heroin in a bag" in MJ's bedroom, marijuana and Benoguin bleaching cream. But a source connected to the case says the "tar heroin" was tested and was actually not heroin. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse appeared in public today with "freckles" on her nose, but it looks like she just drew dots on her nose with marker. [Daily Mail]
• Though earlier reports claimed George Clooney broke his hand in a motorcycle accident on the border of Italy and Switzerland, his rep says, "There was an accident and he did break his hand... He was not riding a motorcycle, it was not in Switzerland ... He was on his property in Italy and he shut the car door on his hand." [People]
• Police have discovered love letters Jasmine Fiore wrote to ex Michael Cardosi while he was in jail that may shed light on her murder. She met him at the prison gates when he was released four days before she was murdered and police found the letters when he was rearrested on the day her body was found for a parole violation. Police say he's not a suspect in her murder. [TMZ]
• Ryan O'Neal has fired William Slattery, the attorney who has represented his son Redmond O'Neal for years. "This came completely out of left field. Slattery was steadfast about protecting Redmond," says a source, who suggests Ryan may be exploiting Redmond. "Now there is talk of a reality show that Ryan is supposedly trying to arrange, a show that would feature Redmond's battle with addiction." [Radar Online]
• A source close to Ryan O'Neal says reports that Redmond will star in a reality show are untrue. [UPI]
• John Mayer offered a $25,000 charitable donation for the publication of his mug shot, which was taken after a 2001 arrest for speeding, via Twitter. TMZ and The Smoking Gun are having some kind of competition over who posted it first. The unremarkable mug shot is at the link: [The Smoking Gun]
• An arbitrator has found that Jeremy Piven did not violate his contract when he pulled out of Speed The Plow due to a case of mercury poisoning. [N.Y. Times]
• Fox is developing the 1989 film Heathers into a TV show. [Variety]
• Project Runway's Chris March has filed a lawsuit against the costume designers for Beyoncé 's world tour because he says they didn't pay him for designing some of her costumes. [E!]
• Beyoncé will perform her song "Sweet Dreams" at the VMAs on September 13. [AP]
• Laura Linney will star in a TV series on Showtime called The C Word, in which her character is diagnosed with cancer. [Variety]
• In the video at the link Kim Zolciak offers her opinions on other celebs who wear wigs, including Tyra Banks and Britney Spears. [People]
• Mike Pihl, star of the History Channel show Ax Men was arrested in Oregon for rolling his Jeep into a ditch while his three children were unbuckled inside. The car rolled three times and police think alcohol was involved. [TMZ]
• AC/DC refused to call off an outdoor show in Edmonton, Canada on Tuesday night when a huge thunderstorm hit, but they were forced to pause when a giant inflatable devil horn attached to the side of the rigging on stage collapsed. [Daily Express]
• Helen Mirren has joined the cast of the film Brighton Rock, which is based on Graham Greene's novel of the same name. [Variety]
• Star believes Shania Twain is going to marry Frédéric Thiébaud , the ex-husband of her former best friend who broke up her marriage, because the two are wearing promise rings. [Star Magazine]
• Paula Abdul is in talks to star in a revue-style stage show in Las Vegas. [N.Y. Post]
• Kristin Chenoweth will guest judge an episode of American Idol in place of Paula Abdul . [People]
• Kim Kardashian is going to executive produce a new reality show about public relations starring her two friends who work at Command PR. Kim will occasionally appear on the show and says, "Every week we'll have a different celebrity and a different crisis and drama." [People]
• Brazilian banker Andre Pinto says Jordan used him as a "sex toy" then dumped him when she didn't need him. Also, she would only have sex in the dark and didn't like having her boobs touched. [The Sun]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is dating again now that her 16-year marriage is over but says "I just want to have a good time" and rejected a guy Jill Zarin suggested because he's too old. "I'm going younger baby — under 50," she says. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Gabourey Sidibe says of Precious co-star Mariah Carey , "Mariah and I would sit and talk about fashion and perfume and jewelry. It was like sitting in junior high and talking to your bestie." [People]
• "Whenever I can be physical it helps me a lot with the actual acting aspect. I prefer it. If I could just be either beating someone up or getting my ass beaten in every scene I would love it. It's so sexy." — Megan Fox [The Sun]
• Serena Williams says in her memoir that people are too obsessive about weight, but that she also feels insecure about her body sometimes. She says: "I think every female does that. We think we look good one day, and then the next day -– or the next minute -– we're insecure about something. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and am like, 'I want to lose my inner thigh. I've got to do an hour of cardio today,' or whatever. I try not to do it, but the insecurity comes back sometimes. I do want to look good still; I do want to be healthy." She adds that she thinks her troublesome body parts are "My thighs. I think they're too big. But also my arms. I think they're too muscular. They're too thick... I'm sensitive about them. I know that toned arms are in now. Look at Michelle Obama. She has great arms, and I think it's wonderful that she shows them off like that! I love her for that. I'm like, 'keep wearing strapless dresses!' But I don't like mine." [People]

• Surprise, surprise: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are a "complete nightmare" for the people working on the Miss Universe pageant in the Bahamas, where Heidi is supposed to perform on Sunday night. An insider says:

"Heidi has missed many rehearsals… Spencer tried to demand that the hotel pay him to lay by the pool." Dear Miss Universe People: You have no one to blame but yourselves. [Page Six]

• BREAKING: Courtney Love caught in bed with a turtle. [The Sun]
• Renée Zellweger dared to attend a movie premiere without Bradley Cooper; he took his parents and not Renée to Alyssa Milano's wedding. Scandalous. [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin visited kids with cancer at an NYC hospital on Tuesday, possibly in an attempt to rehabilitate his image? [Us]
• Authorities now suspect that reality show "star" Ryan Alexander Jenkins — suspected of killing his wife, Jasmine Fiore — crossed over the Canadian border on foot after driving his SUV to Blaine, Washington. [TMZ]
• Save the date: September 14. Whitney Houston will give her first full-length interview in almost seven years to… Oprah. Of course. As you may recall, in 2002, Whitney sat down with Diane Sawyer, and memorably declared: "Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack." [Mirror, NY Daily News]
• Venus and Serena Williams are in talks to become part owners in the Miami Dolphins. [AP]
• Magician David Copperfield has been sued for sexual assault. The woman is a 22-year-old fashion model and alleges that the incident happened when she was a guest on his private island in the Bahamas in 2007. She says he attacked and sexually assaulted her, threatening to kill her if she didn't go along. [TMZ]
• Jay Leno's new show will spotlight new young comedians. "I hope people become famous and get offered shows." But he won't just have "a bunch of white guys doing standup" — he plans to have a "diverse group," including women, African-Americans and other minorities. [AP]
• Will Paula Abdul return to American Idol? Focus groups may make that decision. "Fox loves focus groups," an insider says. "If Paula consistently scores far higher than any other person in her chair, they will feel compelled to make her an offer she can't refuse and make this deal happen." Another source says: "There will be four judges at American Idol come January. And that fourth judge will be Paula Abdul." [MSNBC]
• Paula Abdul's manager says that there have been "no discussions whatsoever about Idol." [LA Times]
• Amy Winehouse went out to dinner and then for drinks and the paparazzi took snaps of her a little tipsy on her way home and zoomed in on her nose and claim there's a "mystery substance" up her nose but honestly you can't see a damn thing. [Daily Mail]
• "Got Line Flu Amy?" [The Sun]
• "Oprah Winfrey and her favorite physician, "Dr. Oz," filed suit yesterday to shut down more than 500 Web sites that falsely claim the pair endorses the sites' diet pills and miracle cures." [NY Post]
• Russell Brand wears a top hat, dances in the streets and sings the lyrics "sexual rewards" in this new MTV VMA promo. [ONTD]
• Expect to see heavy cross-promotion between Project Runway and Harvey Weinstein-produced flick Nine. [Page Six]
• Pauly Shore pulled a Christian Bale and had an on-set meltdown while filming Brand Dead. Seems fake, but you be the judge. [TMZ, TMZ]
• A source says Jennifer Hudson thinks of her newborn child as a gift from beyond after her family was murdered: "She wasn't trying to get pregnant… She believes her mother played a part in sending this gift from God. She tells everyone her mother sent this baby to pull her through this." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Eva Longoria will star in a Mexican film about kidnapping, which means she will be in a Spanish-speaking role for the first time. [AP]
• Figure skater Brian Boitano is now a TV chef, with his Food Network show, What Would Brian Boitano Make? premiering Sunday. Turns out the Oylmpic gold medalist is a foodie, and the Food Network's VP of programming says his passion and command of cooking is "one of the biggest, happiest surprises I've gotten in my career." [LA Times]
• As mentioned yesterday, Leona Lewis tracks have been leaked onto the Internet. One was a song produced by Justin Timberlake. A police investigation is ongoing. [Daily Mail]
• Pete Doherty is planning on getting the Libertines back together, even if Carl "Biggles" Barat doesn't want to join. "If Biggles doesn't want to do it or gets cold feet or he thinks I'm still a crackhead, what am I going to do? Maybe I could reform the Libertines without him, like he did without me. I wouldn't really want to, but you've got to pay the bills. I'll put an advert in the NME: 'Carlos lookalike required.'" [Independent]
• District 9 sequel? Maybe. It's already being referred to as District 10. [NY Daily News]
• Nora Jones is about to release her first album in three years; this column claims she has a new look and a new sound. (Cute hair!) [USA Today]
• Phil Spector has been writing letters from prison: He fears for his safety, enjoys visits from his wife and would like to be moved to "a better prison." [USA Today]
• "I loved New York, even back then (1980s graffiti-scarred, pre-Giuliani New York). It was such an overwhelming animal. I loved the energy and attitude of the place. It's great for being productive and creative." —Eric Bana, who's on the cover of Men's Health. [Just Jared]
• "It's a lot of material to fill. It is a lot of jokes. This is lot more work. A lot more work. You're doing probably three shows worth of comedy every night. On The Tonight Show we had maybe two talking guests and a band. That's not a lot of work for me. But this will be a lot more work." — Jay Leno on his new show. [Reuters]
• "I remember sensing that my mother was holding something back from me. I used to think I had done something wrong because she could be so distant. I knew there was something going on that I didn't know about and because I was a child I thought it was my fault. It took me years to work out that she had actually been protecting me from racism… There were comments and my mother kept all that away from us and to do that she had be a barrier between us and them." — Thandie Newton, who says she and her brother were the only mixed-race kids in their area when growing up. [Daily Express]
• "Before I played Ari Gold, I was in probably 40 movies and playing a lot of very soft-spoken characters, also-rans, best friends and whatnot. That was all easily forgotten as soon as I put Ari's power suit on." — Jeremy Piven. [Time]
• "[The culture here] isn't based on anything other than ‘Who got a boob job?' That's what I feel L.A. is about. A lot of people here want to be everyone but themselves." — Mila Kunis. [Just Jared]
• "Oh my God! I was on the set of Two and a Half Men when I heard. I had all these texts, and at first I thought it was a hoax. What struck me was I hadn't seen him in years, and when I think about it, I really owe an enormous amount of my career to him. And it made me sad because it made me realize that you've really got to let people know it when you're grateful to them. They won't always be here and I regret that I didn't do that. But I have very fond memories. He was a lovely guy and knew exactly what he wanted. He'll be greatly missed." — Jon Cryer on the death of John Hughes. [Reuters]
• "I was talking to my friend about [whether monogamy] is feasible, is it realistic? I resolved that there isn't really a better model. We just can't shake monogamy. It definitely demands a kind of rigor and discipline and selflessness. But it's also fun." — Claire Danes, to BlackBook. [Page Six]
• "I like clever folks. I like people who are concerned with [what] the path they leave behind them looks like… Empathy, humor, wit, self reliance and honesty. [Being attractive] doesn't hurt." —Renée Zellweger, on what she looks for in a man. [People]

• Renée Zellweger and Bradley Cooper are so on. How on are they?

They walk like teenagers at the state fair: Hands on each others asses. Image at link! [TMZ]

• Here are more invasion of privacy pix of Renee and Bradley in a Barcelona hotel, and what's really notable are Renee's torturous heels. [Daily Mail]
• Oh-so-demure actress Emmy Rossum, 22, is getting a secret divorce from her secret husband after getting a secret marriage on some secret date. Secrets! [JustJared]
• On Angelina Jolie at the Inglourious Basterds premiere: "Even though Jolie skipped most press, when we chatted with her for a bit she was bubbly, fun and...nice. What gives? Could Jolie be preggers again or something?" Yes, if a woman is in a good mood, she must be sperminated. [E!]
• Jon Gosselin has given an eloquent statement in response to Kate's appearance on the today show. "Kate's the mother of my children," he told E! News. "I only wish her the best." [Usa Magazine]
• Apparently Regis Philbin and Kate Gosselin had an awkward moment in an interview which will air on Live With Regis And Kelly tomorrow. He asked if Kate could see herself reconnecting with Jon. She said: "I can't and won't answer that. I keep certain things private, and that's one." Then, Reeg being Reeg, he said: "I think you [and your husband] will get back together and live happily ever after. I think everything is going to work itself out - he'll say he's sorry, that he loves you and everything will be good." Kate had no response and the show cut to commercial. [NY Daily News]
• Justin Timberlake is bringing chukker back: He bought a house in Connecticut in a private gated community famed for Greenwich polo matches. [Page Six]
• John Hughes was mourned yesterday at a private service in Lake Forest, Illinois. Among the attendees: Family, friends, Vince Vaughn, Ben Stein and Matthew Broderick. [USA Today]
• Kate Hudson wants to have Alex Rodriguez's baby. [MSNBC]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of octuplets, has been hospitalized in California. Details? None. A source says: "This is not a big deal and Nadya should be back on her feet in a few days." [Radar Online]
• Ben Stiller will appear on an episode of Bear Grylls' Man Vs. Wild, and says he'd like to see some other stars survive in the wilderness: "I really would love to invite Demi Moore." [The Sun]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush: Reunited and it feels so good? [Perez]
• Kourtney Kardashian kissed a girl. And liked it. On camera. And it's part of the promotional blitz for her show Kourtney And Khloe Take Miami. But, she says: "I feel like I'm definitely into men." [E!]
• Unbeweavable! Amy Winehouse: The Musical. Might happen. [The Sun]
• Zac Efron is at the center of a lawsuit in Beverly Hills small claims court; a woman claims he hit a cab and the cab hit her. She's looking for $3,319.76 — which should be doable if a bunch of you guys go rent 17 Again. [TMZ]
• It had been reported that Real Housewives Of Atlanta' Lisa Wu Hartwell had been evicted from her home, but she says: "We chose to move, we were not evicted. It was a short-sell. It was not a foreclosure." [People]
• Whee! Natalie Portman will produce Booksmart, the comedy written by our girlcrush Sarah Haskins and her pal Emily Halpern. This is the one about two overachieving high school seniors who realize they don't have boyfriends and resolve to each find one by prom. [Variety]
• Joe Jonas may be joining the cast of Valentine's Day, which, in addition to Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Patrick Dempsey, Jamie Foxx and Queen Latifah, stars his ex, Taylor Swift. [E!]
• Even though it was previously reported that Michael Jackson had already been buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery, Joe Jackson says MJ is "not buried yet." And: "I think Vegas would be great."
• Will the 9th season of Dancing With The Stars be Jackson-inspired? Lou Ferrigno is "definitely interested." LaToya Jackson is in talks. Jermaine Jackson wants to do it too, and "thinks he could win it all." [MSNBC]
• LaToya Jackson's discussions to join DWTS are "serious." [Us Magazine]
• Jermaine Jackson was trying to pull together a "Happy Birthday Michael Jackson" televised tribute concert in Vienna on August 29, but couldn't get it organized in time. [Page Six]
• Is Blanket Blaxican?!?!? [Mirror]
• There's a dispute over the Billy Mays autopsy results; the medical examiner should not have immediately listed "heart disease" as the cause, since it ignored the toxicology work which found cocaine, Xanax and Vicodin in the pitchman's system. [TMZ]
• Amber Rose naked, holding a whip. [The Life Files]
• Joey Buttafuoco: Suing Mary Jo. Apparently he's not happy that her new book calls him a sociopath. [La Daily Musto]
• Pete Doherty is going to trial for drugs. Related: Sky is blue. [The Sun]
• Farrah Fawcett's friend Alana Stewart says that Redmond O'Neal is "doing well" and is getting sober. "He's in a rehab part of the jail and he's going to go to a regular rehab after this. He feels his mother's with him; he feels her presence very strongly and he promised her in a phone call just before she died that he would never do drugs again, so I hope that he's able to keep that promise." [Daily Express]
• Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza, who got in trouble last year when people found out that she'd posed for a jewelry ad in the nude, a no-no for Miss Universe contestants, will appear topless in Maxim's September issue. Of course. [Page Six]
• "I always look at things and say, 'Will Barbra be proud?' She does such elegant work. Am I the guy who is going out and doing the tacky stuff? So I weighed it a lot. I decided to do it because I wanted to do comedy stuff so bad." — James Brolin, on appearing in the raunchy comedy The Goods, starring Jeremy Piven. [LA Times]
• "My humor isn't meant to be mean or hurt anyone. But it's to make them uncomfortable and laugh. I like making people feel a different range of emotions. I like to make people a bit confused." — Charlyne Yi. [USA Today]
• "If I'm honest, I don't think I'll ever be totally free from that. It's much more under control but food for me will never be easy. I used it as a shield. It was a way to fend off rejection: you'll never want me, look how fat I am. I'll be the fat, funny one." — Sharon Osbourne, on her bulimia and food addictions. [Daily Express]
• "I worked with such amazingly talented people that just a brush stroke would change my face a little bit. I looked at myself in the mirror one day and I didn't really realise we were doing the older Clare that day and I said 'Oh, I'm looking a little haggard', before being told it was paint." — Rachel McAdams on playing all different ages in The Time Traveller's Wife. [Mirror]
• "I'm a successful woman, in the public eye, and raising a kid by myself. It can leave guys feeling like, 'Damn, how can I have a chance?' Just be a man!" — Taraji P. Henson, to Men's Fitness. She looks hot in the snaps at the link. [Gatecrasher]
• "There was a very funny thread on a message board somewhere online that said, 'Yeah, well, they obviously Photoshopped it, because who would sit in water all day for a photo shoot?' Well, no… [Laughs.] I sat in a giant tank of water for a solid Saturday, and it was kind of fun, actually. I mean, once you're wet, you're wet. You don't get any more wet. So you're just kind of like, 'All right, here we are.' And it was a bunch of crewmembers and waiters and an incredibly skillfully constructed set, and I think a pretty cool image that they got out of it as well. I'm sure they could have done some kind of photo trickery, but this makes for a better story, and it's way cooler to go build it and do it for reals. I think online, there's a time-lapse image of it filling up, too." — Jon Hamm, on the promotional photo for Mad Men's third season, in which he is sitting in a room full of water. [AV Club] 
• "I'm very religious. I'm a big Christian girl. I kinda wanted to keep those values a little bit. I haven't told my dad [I posed for Playboy] yet. I might not tell him. My mom was so excited she was just, like, pose! God gave you that body, you show off that cute little thing." — Heidi Montag. [Extra]

• Yesterday Jaime Pressly reportedly got so drunk at a gay bar in West Hollywood that she slumped down next to the building and urinated on the sidewalk in broad daylight.

• It sounds crazy, but she's definitely squatting over a puddle in the pictures at the link. There is also video of bystanders voicing shock and awe. [Perez Hilton]
• Update: She's denying everything. In her defense, the puddle looks more like water than urine. [Perez Hilton]
• A woman named Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise has filed guardianship petitions for each of Michael Jackson's kids. She also claims she was married to MJ, engaged to Blanket's real father, and is the mother of one of Tom Cruise's kids. [TMZ]
• In this video she names Paris and Prince's fathers and claims she did not donate eggs or carry the children, but they were conceived in her body, then transferred to a surrogate. Also, she says Connor Cruise was Michael Jackson's son but they gave him away to Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman because MJ "did not want his own child because of the color of his skin." [TMZ]
• In the video at the link another woman named Billie Jean explains that she is Blanket's mom because there's a double negative in the song of the same name that prove the kid is her son... even though it was written 19 years before Blanket was born. [TMZ]
• When Mark Lester told the News of the World that he may be the father of Paris Jackson, he added that he's upset he hasn't seen the kids. Today Lester told TMZ there's "absolutely nothing malicious" about his intentions and it's "highly unlikely" he'll go to court to prove he's the father or get visitation rights. [TMZ]
• The L.A. County Coroner's Office has completed their autopsy on Michael Jackson, but it's on an indefinite security hold because the LAPD says it's release could make the investigation into his death more difficult. [TMZ]
• This Is It, a movie composed from 80 hours of rehearsal footage shot before Michael Jackson's London concerts, will be released in theaters on October 30. [USA Today]
• A global farewell tribute concert for Michael Jackson is scheduled to take place next month in Vienna. Members of the Jackson family and international stars possibly including U2, Madonna, and Whitney Houston will perform MJ's hits. Jermaine Jackson said Vienna was special for Michael because he "loved castles." [Associated Press]
• Jon Gosselin was supposed to an interview with E! in response to Kate Gosselin's interview this morning on Today, but either TLC or In Touch, which had a Jon "exclusive" last week called off the interview. [Radar Online]
• A private investigator has released a fax he claims is from Pat McDermott, Olivia Newton-John's missing ex, asking investigators to stop searching for him. [Radar Online]
• A group of Malawian performers are staging a musical parody at the Edinburgh Fringe about Madonna's adoption of Mercy James. The all-Malawian cast wear shirts that say "adopt me" and the male actor who plays Madonna uses son David Banda as a step to climb onto the stage. [The Daily Mail]
• Here are spoilers about Spike Jonze/Kanye West short film which will be released on iTunes on September 8th. Let's just say Kanye throwing up rose petals isn't the craziest part of the film. [ONTD]
• Lee Najjar, the real estate mogul recently exposed as RHOA's "Big Poppa" was on MTV recent in an episode of Teen Cribs. His kids and his wife are also in the episode. [TMZ]
• Like his ex Katie Price, Peter Andre is planning to write a book. He's signed a £1.5million deal to write a cookbook. [The Mirror]
• Both Anne Heche and Ashton Kutcher worked out and dieted to look good in their explicit new film Spread. Demi Moore helped out by hanging around for Ashton's sex scenes. "Demi was there a lot," said co-star Margarita Leveiva, " She was kind to me. She wasn't there to freak us out or anything. She was incredibly kind and generous and made me feel safe." [People]
• Mark Ballas hopes Paula Abdul doesn't join the cast of Dancing With The Stars. "I think we're good with our judges," said Ballas. "I think she should be on the show as a competitor." [E!]
• Hugh Hefner sold his "English Manor" next to the Playboy Mansion for $18 million, $10 million less than he asked for. His sons grew up there, but they've gone away to college. [Times Of London]
• Nadya Suleman will be featured in a two hour special on FOX, which will air footage culled from seven months of filming her octuplets in her home. [Entertainment Tonight]
• OMG: It's a Gossip Girl/Twilight crossover! Chace Crawford was photographed making out with Ashley Greene. [TMZ]
• Check out the new Gossip Girl promo here: [E!]
• At the link, learn all about British model/TV host/fashion icon Alexa Chung and why she hates olives. [Times]
• Chelsea Handler is patching more shows to E!. "I'm thinking maybe something along the lines of a Chelsea Lately ‘After the Show,' kind of like the Oprah thing," said Handler. She's already working on a standup special of comedians regularly featured on the show. [Media Week]
• Jeremy Piven said of his film The Goods, "it's a bit raunchy. Also, the language is racy. James Brolin said he wouldn't even tell his wife [Barbara Streisand] the kind of role he was shooting. But then we had a private screening, and Barbra Streisand laughed the loudest." [The Daily Express]
• Diane Kruger says she'd like to appear on boyfriend Joshua Jackson's show Fringe. I'd love to be a gooey monster," she says. "[A role] where my eyes are popped out of my head or something – that would be fun." [People]
• "I would love to have a wife and kids, but you can't magic them out of thin air. I've never been that 'seven-year relationship' kind of guy. [But I'm ready] for the big relationship. I guess I've got to settle down soon, but I'm nervous to say it out loud because it might not happen." — Gerard Butler, who turns 40 in November. [Daily Express]
• "Oh yeah, they write some pretty funny stuff for Roger Sterling. It's good, isn't it? Sometimes you feel like, man, I wish I was more in the thick of it … but then when I watch something, I always have to remember, you never think of it that way. It's not always the person who is on the screen the most; it's sometimes someone who comes in and makes an impression and sticks out... People assume all actors just wants their face on TV more. There have been things where I have had to convince people to cut me out of scenes. I have no interest in just standing there and looking like an idiot, or trying to act a really badly written scene. This material is so good you just want more and more of it." — John Slattery [N.Y. Observer]

Her story was actually featured on an episode of Cold Case Files a few years ago. The more recent conversation took place several weeks ago in the house (if you look closely at the mirrors, you can see Laura's head), and I'd assumed that CBS had decided to not broadcast it, out of an uncharacteristic sense of privacy and ethics, but they were just waiting until Chima had won HoH to air the footage.

In other news, to promote his new movie The Goods, Jeremy Piven showed up to the BB house, with a wig that was a completely different color from the rest of his hair.

It looks like the "sushi poisoning" may have taken a toll. I love how Jessie called him out on the whole "see you on the other side" casual line he threw.

LIVE FEED
There were a lot more fights between Chima and Russell over the weekend, but it's difficult to tell if they're still putting on an act, or if somehow the animosity turned real. The house guests received a lot of booze, and everyone got drunk at various points, including Jessie, who never drinks, which is apparent by this drunken conversation he had about unicorns.

• Victoria Beckham had her first day on the set of American Idol on Friday and a source says: "It didn't go well." Why ever not?

"She tried to hard to be 'nice,' but came off as icy and wooden," a source revealed. Plus: Contestants were disappointed not to see Paula on the panel. [Radar Online]

• Before she started judging, Victoria Beckham told Ryan Seacrest: "I'm going to try hard to pout and not shatter the illusion that I'm a moody cow, but I don't know if I can - I'm just so happy." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, ABC has reached out to Paula Abdul about joining Dancing With The Stars. as a judge or a contestant. [Variety]
• Olivia Newton-John's former boyfriend, Patrick McDermott, presumed dead since 2005, is alive in Mexico and wishes to be left alone. He reportedly owes back child support to his ex-wife, which may be one of the reasons he disappeared. [Daily Mail]
• Behold: A picture of Real Housewives Kim Zolciak with her "Big Poppa." [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin will sit down for an interview with E!, and react to whatever Kate Gosselin says on the Today show today. So there's a Jon special on E! tonight — and tomorrow night, a full interview. [E!]
• Kate Major continues to attempt to be relevant. [E!]
• Jeremy Piven and Chris Kattan got into a screaming match backstage at MTV on Thursday: Kattan said "So, what are you here to promote, your Broadway play?" and Piven said Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?" Tempers flared. Doors slammed. Obscenities were yelled. Funny dudes can't take jokes? [Gatecrasher]
• Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were spotted at a Bobby Long concert in L.A. on Thursday night. Because their love is destiny, people! And what is a sparkle vamp without a ladylove? According to this report: "After the show, a cab spirited them off into the night." [ET]
• "Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart heat up with low-key date nights and hotel sleepovers." [NY Daily News]
• Pattinson had a low-key night out… not in a Manhattan hot spot. On Long Island. [Page Six]
• A man accused of sending death threats to Beyoncé and Jay-Z will have to undergo a mental evaluation, duh. [Daily Express]
• "America's other first couple: Beyoncé and Jay-Z are black America's second most famous couple: young, rich and with a direct line to the White House." [Times Of London]
• Is Guy Ritchie dating Iron Man actress Mellany Gandara? [Daily Express]
• Katherine Jackson's lawyer L. Londell McMillan says: "She's got her grandchildren, they're set. She's starting to rock and roll. She's getting her grandma swagger back. But she has been busy trying to make sure that these children will be provided for." [People]
• Mark Lester, who was in the 1968 film Oliver!, and is the godfather of Michael Jackson's kids, says he could be the biological father of Paris Jackson. This paper puts a picture of Paris side by side with a picture of Lester's daughter and survey says: Probably not. But does Paris have long ears like Arnold Klein? [Daily Mail]
• "Longtime Michael Jackson friend Mark Lester is not the father of Jackson's daughter, nor is he claiming paternity, despite a tabloid report indicating Lester says he's Paris Jackson's biological dad, sources tell People." [People]
• A source says that Michael Jackson was super excited about his upcoming tour. "He even said to me on several occasions, 'I am going to give everything I have. He even said, I'll die on the stage if I have to. It gives me the chills thinking about it now." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's body was finally buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery in the Hollywood Hills. No ceremony, no fans. The exact location is a secret. [Mirror]
• Presented without comment: "A doctor has revealed how he prescribed Michael Jackson a 'chemical castration' drug to suppress his sexual urges towards under-age boys." [Mirror]
• ABC entertainment president Stephen McPherson on Katherine Heigl's latest anti-Grey's Anatomy tirade: "People will behave in a way they choose to behave. There are so many people who work unbelievably hard on Grey's… so I think it's really hard for them to hear [her complain about working a 17-hour day]." [EW]
• Jenna Fischer says: "I always see these tabloid reports about certain people being 'Spotted Without Their Wedding Ring!' like it's some big deal… [I don't wear my ring because I] would have to take it off and leave it in my trailer, which I would never do. They aren't that secure. Break-ins happen all the time. So if I go someplace after work I could be 'spotted' without my ring. It means nothing." [People]
• How did Ashlee Simpson lose her "baby weight"? Luck. "After I had Bronx I lucked out. I mean, I'm 24 years old. I have the genes from my mother and I did work out for three months." [The Sun]
• "A Night Out With Holly Madison" reveals that she calls a vodka and water "The Skinny Bitch," and later announces: "Chicken fingers are seriously, like, my favorite food." [NY Times]
• Kelsey Grammer says the cancellation of his TV series Back To You may have contributed to his heart attack in 2008. "When they examined my arteries, there was no blocked arteries. I had no cholesterol buildup. I had an event that they think was stress-related." [UPI]
• Madonna's boyfriend, model Jesus Luz, would like to be a DJ. [Page Six]
• Just a reminder: Vanessa Hudgens plays Sa5m in Bandslam, but the 5 is silent. Her character "is an emo girl who speaks slowly because of a stutter, resembles Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club and is ostensibly the female lead, Ms. Hudgens argues to the contrary." [NY Times]
• Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough: Broken up. They will "remain friends." [UPI]
• Tracy Morgan and his wife Sabina have been married for 23 years, but reportedly spent the last eight living apart. Morgan has decided to file for divorce, maybe because he took some cornbread behind a middle school and got it pregnant. [TMZ]
• Lady GaGa says she wore that Kermit coat as a statement: "I thought it was [a] commentary on not wearing fur, 'cause I hate fur and I don't wear fur." Naturally, now PETA would like for her to pose nude in an ad campaign. [TMZ]
• Cheech Marin married longtime girlfriend Natasha Rubin over the weekned. [People]
• If you do nothing else today, for the love of Kirk, read this William Shatner interview. It's crazyinsane. A snippet: So what is your relationship with Conan really like when the cameras are off? "It's great, he folds me into his arms and I come up to his belly button. So I suckle on his belly button and he holds me close." [Time]
• Just what your Monday morning needs: An anecdote about Mick Jagger's penis. [Page Six]
• Whatshisname says Whatshername is disgusting because she let her four-year-old son see her in bed with her new lover. [The Sun]
• "Because I'm pretty everybody thinks I'm stupid. But you don't have to play a victim. You have to show who you are to make the others come to discover you." — Monica Bellucci. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I don't sit there and think 'well I did Confessions of a Shopaholic and now I've got to go out and do Chekhov.' If the next one that comes along happens to be another romantic comedy and I find something in it that appeals to me then great. I operate on almost no system at all." — Hugh Dancy. [Independent]
• "I had a conversation with one of the scientists, and I was saying how I interviewed some [little] kids. I asked him what his opinion was, because I was like, 'Oh, it's really sweet, their idea of love is so pure.' And he was like, 'They don't really understand what love is because they haven't got their hormones and they haven't had sex and they haven't had that many relationships.' And I'm like, it doesn't mean that you can't experience love. Just the fact that you've been in one relationship doesn't devalue how you feel about someone. One of the couples in the film met when they were fourteen and their parents were like, 'That's puppy love.' They ended up being together for over fifty years. So I think people are biased against age." — Charlyne Yi. [Nerve]
• "She knew that I wanted to paint and make music. Eventually she said: ‘do it!' She encouraged me to go forward without fear . So it's all thanks to my wife, who knew that I had done a lot of acting over the years and suggested maybe it was time to start doing something else." — Anthony Hopkins, who has an exhibition of his paintings in Tuscany and also composes orchestral work. [Daily Express]
• Q. Does it feel odd to be putting young designers out in the world when the fashion world is in extreme crisis? A. "I think that everything is kind of in crisis. But what are you going to do? Is everyone going to stop working? I think the best will always succeed in any world. The people who are working hard, I think they will stay out there. In terms of fashion, maybe there are things that are more needed than other things — and the things that people cannot afford, maybe those things will go. But I don't think people should stop their dreams. A lot of our designers, people who have been on in the past, not everyone is self-employed. I think the only one who has become successful is Christian [Siriano] — on their own. I think the others are also successful, not as their own brand. Which I think is also success! They are working under good design houses. Or selling on HSN or Shopping Network." — Heidi Klum, on Project Runway. [LA Times]
• "I grew up on a red dirt road with a tree growing right in the middle of it. We didn't have much, but it never occurred to me that if you wanted to do something you couldn't do it. You can do anything if you try… I came here with a curling iron, two boxes of clothes and $200 in savings." — Nancy Grace. [USA Today]
• "I walk around and don't understand why more people are not smiling, enjoying the day, why they give me stink-eye. I guess being happy must not agree with them. I do not say I am always happy, but I do strive to be cheery." — Amy Adams. [Times Of London]
• "About 50 percent [of Paper Heart is fiction]. Everything with the interview subjects is real, but the plot with Michael Cera is fiction… But I honestly was kind of questioning the idea of love. I'd dropped out of college and I'd just been doing comedy, and I'm kind of like an old lady — when I was 10 I learned how to knit — so, most of my friends would go to clubs [to meet people], but I don't go to clubs or bars because I don't drink. So there was this fear of, how would I meet someone my own age? It's not that I doubted other people's love. It was just about my own concern of whether it could happen to me." — Charlyne Yi [WaPo]
• "You know when you first discovered a hamburger and then you can't live without it? That's what it's like for me with her" — Ashton Kutcher on his love for Demi Moore to Gotham magazine. [Page Six]
• "I'd rather staple my eyelids shut than watch Gwyneth cook." — Bethenny Frankel. [Gatecrasher]

• LaToya Jackson believes that her brother, Michael, was murdered by his "shadowy entourage," who took advantage of him and got him addicted to several prescription drugs. "It will all come out," she says, "You will be shocked." [USWeekly]

• "Not just one person was involved," Jackson says, "rather it was a conspiracy of people. He was surrounded by a bad circle. Michael was a very meek, quiet, loving person. People took advantage of that. People fought to be close to him, people who weren't always on his side." [USWeekly]
• Debbie Rowe will attend a custody hearing regarding Michael Jackson's children on July 20. [People]
• "Their grandmother Katherine and I should raise them. Yes there's no one else who can do what we can do for them. We should keep them all together and make them happy. Feed them like they are supposed to be fed."- Joe Jackson [Time]
• A source says Michael Jackson made it quite clear that he did not want his father to have access to his children. "With Michael dying, I know the last thing he wanted was for Joe to play any part in the raising of his children. He told me, ‘I don't want Joseph near my kids. I don't want him doing to them what he did to me.' He said, ‘My kids are the most important thing in my life. Everything I do, I do for them.'"[ShowbizSpy]
• Meanwhile, the Daily Mail is reporting that Debbie Rowe and Katherine Jackson are working together to keep the children away from Joe. [DailyMail]
• Jeremy Piven was seen "looking Hayden Panettiere up and down in between sips of vodka and soda," at the Entourage premiere last Thursday. [PageSix]
• As we mentioned yesterday, Jon Gosselin was seen holding hands with his 22-year-old girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, in St. Tropez. [USWeekly]
• Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan, who met on the set of Step Up were married yesterday. [USWeekly]
• Leonard Cohen is asking fellow musicians to stop covering his song, "Hallelujah," because he's afraid that people will tire of it. "I was reading a review of a movie called Watchmen that uses it, and the reviewer said, 'Can we please have a moratorium on Hallelujah in movies and television shows?' and I kind of feel the same way. I think it's a good song, but too many people sing it." [DailyExpress]
• Want to date Megan Fox? Better get a tattoo: ""I have 8 tattoos," Fox says, "My boyfriends are all required to have one."[ShowbizSpy]
• "I'd had a boyfriend in college and I was talking about going to New York some day and he said, 'Why are you talking about New York? You're not going to New York. We're going to be married and start having kids.' When he said that, I panicked. I just thought, is this what it's going to be like? I couldn't imagine being in a marriage where someone wouldn't want to change me and where someone would appreciate who I was, because that's not an easy combination to pull off. I didn't want any of that for myself, so I really didn't want to get married at all."- Sandra Bullock [DailyMail]
• Jennifer Aniston was reportedly upset that Bradley Cooper denied that the two were dating: "Jennifer was devastated when Bradley told reporters in Paris that she was ‘just a friend' and denied they had any romantic involvement," says a source, "It makes her look desperate - which is the one thing she dreads coming across more than anything else." [ShowbizSpy]
• 75-year-old Partridge Family star Shirley Jones did some test shots for Playboy, showing her "cleavage and legs in an 18th-century French-boudoir setting," but Hugh Hefner turned them down because "he expected much more nudity."[PageSix]
• Bruno topped the Friday box office with 14.2 million dollars in ticket sales. [EW]
• GLAAD has released a statement claiming that Bruno does more harm than good when it comes to the gay community. According to GLAAD president Jarred Barrios, "'the movie was a well-intentioned series of sketches — some hit the mark and some hit the gay community pretty hard and reinforce some damaging, hurtful stereotypes.''[NYTimes]
• "In our house, no one was allowed to refer to devilled eggs. We had to call them angelic eggs. We were never allowed to swear. I'd get into trouble just for saying 'hell no'. If you dropped a hammer on your toe in our house you had to say something like 'Jiminy Christmas'. The only music we were allowed to listen to was gospel. No wonder I rebelled."- Katy Perry [DailyMail]
• Lady GaGa psyched up a crowd at a recent outdoor concert by yelling, "I know it's crowded, and you're hot and you smell. But you know what you gotta do? Put your hands up and dance, motherf****r!" [TheSun]
• "Normally, in the middle of the year, when there's not a "Harry Potter" film being released, if I walk outside with no makeup on ... I'm fine. I take the tube, I wait for buses. I live a normal life. I'm very uncompromising about that. There are people who are advising me, "It's not safe, you shouldn't be doing this."... But I really struggle with the idea that I'm having my freedom taken away. I just can't handle that. I'd much rather deal with a couple of people coming up to me and stopping me than just not going out anymore. I'd go insane - you just end up with a barrier between you and the real world. You're not experiencing things firsthand. ...You're bubble-wrapped."- Emma Watson [ONTD]

[Chicago, June 20. Image via Getty.]

• Guess who is going to have to face her abuser and testify? Rihanna:

Prosecutors have subpoenaed the singer to appear in court in Chris Brown's assault case on June 22, and she is now legally required to answer questions about what happened. [People]

• Kanye West and Amber Rose may have broken up, but they are certainly still spending a lot of time together. Reunited and it feels so good? [Page Six]
• OMG: Judge Judy has beat Oprah as the highest rated show in daytime! It must have been the Comic Confrontations that pushed JJ over the edge. [Perez]
• After six months of bliss, Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt have split. [ET]
• This report claims that Paris dumped Doug, who later showed up at her house "distraught." [Perez]
• Paris Hilton's rep says they remain friends and please respect their privacy blah blah blah. We'll always have Cannes! [People]
• Britney Spears is gonna get $11,500 from ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib — to cover legal fees incurred by getting a restraining order against the photographer. [Radar Online]
• Meanwhile, Britney and K-Fed have reached a new custody agreement and Brit gets the kids more than 50% of the time while she is on tour. Progress! [TMZ]
• Click here for super-cute banter between Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock. Like this exchange on how fame changes you:
  Reynolds: Fame only amplifies a certain disposition.
  Bullock: I agree. Unless you're a child in the industry and that's all you know. That's a sad, sad thing.
  Reynolds: There's nothing worse than hearing a 6-year-old demand Voss water. I've seen it. [People]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Madonna will meet Jesus' family. And no, they are not named Mary and Joseph. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Speaking of all things holy, Madonna will hold two shows in Israel — September 1 and 2. [UPI]
• Katie Holmes has been attending dance studios in Hollywood lately. Why? She wants to make a special appearance on So You Think You Can Dance? [Perez]
• Hugh Hefner: "really happy" to learn that Kendra is pregnant. [People]
• Carrie Prejean claims that the Miss California USA people wanted her to do Playboy, but she wouldn't. They also wanted her to be on I'm A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here. Sigh. [TMZ]
• Contrary to the reports in all the weekly tabs, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz deny that their marriage is on the rocks. [Mirror]
• "Secrets" about the cast of Twilight include the fact that Kristen Stewart can play guitar, Robert Pattinson and Kristen have chemistry on screen and off, and Rob and Kristen both play guitar and sing. [People]
• Whoa, Joy Behar is getting her own show on HLN (formerly Headline News). It will aire at 9 p.m. and start in September, as a "topical and fun" talk show: "It's not going to be dry, I hope, because I'm crazy," Joy says. [NY Times]
• BMW: The exclusive sponsor of the season three premiere of Mad Men, which will be aired with limited commercial interruption. Exciting! Not that we can afford Beemers! But we can look at a picture of a cute one, and think about Don Draper. [Brandweek]
• Lost rumors: Someone who could be lying says Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) returns for 4 episodes, Clarie (Emily De Ravin [sic]) for full-season, Shannon (Maggie Grace) for 6 episodes. [Yahoo News Via E!]
• Matthew Fox on the Lost ending: "I think it is going to be very satisfying and cathartic and redemptive and beautiful. I've talked to [creator] Damon [Lindelof] pretty extensively and every time I talk to him it's sort of surprising how moving it is just to talk about it." [E!]
• Patricia Clarkson's flight from LAX to JFK got canceled and she promptly burst into tears. [Page Six]
• Oof: Hugh Grant kicked a paparazzo in the groin outside of restaurant in NYC Tuesday. [Gatecrasher via TMZ]
• Jamie Foxx says that the first time he did his stand up act at the Apollo, as soon as the audience heard he was from L.A., they started booing. Foxx considers this his favorite memory of the theater, though, so, good for him. [AP]
• Oh lord. Jeremy Piven's mercury poisoning saga lives on: Producers from Speed-The-Plow will be in arbitration this week. [Gothamist]
• Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson met through a real estate agent. Now? A-Rod is smitten: "He is so into her and doesn't even mind when his friends tease him about her." [Gatecrasher]
• Sophie Dahl is 5'11" and her fiancé Jamie Cullum is 5'4" and she says: "We happen to be two people who met, fell madly in love and will probably produce fairly average sized children, hopefully with his more elegant feet, not mine." And! "I find it weird [that people focus on our height difference] but when you're really happy you don't give a shit." [Daily Mail]
• Diane Lane will star in Secretariat, the Disney flick about the relationship between the 1973 Triple Crown-winning racehorse and his owner, Penny Chenery. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which up-and-coming film star was smoking an alien substance out in the open at a recent NYC party?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q: What do you like most about your character? A: "There's nothing cool about her. It's fun to play someone who's well-intentioned but doesn't know the game. I enjoy competent but misguided characters. She's an open-faced sandwich, and because of that, she doesn't have anything savvy about her." — Amy Poehler, on Parks and Recreation. [Variety]
• "I am not one who has ever taken well to fame and what that attracts. It's a drag. I just wanted to be a songwriter and a singer. I did not bargain for all the rest of it." — Van Morrison says he would have abandoned his music career 40 years ago if one of his early albums had made him a superstar. [Reuters]
• "Wesley Snipes is a wonderful actor. Before the karate movies and stuff, when Wesley first got into the movies, he did drama and comedy. He's got all the talent. He does everything but he turned into the action dude. But James Brown isn't just singing and splits, you've got to chase the car and the crack heads. You've got to do the stunts. I'm too old to do the splits. They should make that movie with Wesley Snipes tomorrow." — Eddie Murphy may have played James Brown on SNL but wouldn't do it in a biopic. [Daily Express]
• "Being a 48-year-old rebel is not cool… I wouldn't describe myself as a shy person. I'm an introvert. I play extroverts on the screen, but I'm an introvert." — Eddie Murphy. [Mirror]
  
• "If I could interview Dolly every week, I would." — Morley Safer, 77, has no plans to retire from 60 Minutes and hearts Dolly Parton. And! He is not into bloggers: "I would trust a citizen journalist as much as I would trust a citizen surgeon." [Page Six]
• "I invented something that we tested out on-camera on Scientific American Frontiers. It was a device I had figured out to eliminate red-eye, if you attached it to any camera. So we made it, and it worked. I was really excited. It's the first time one of my inventions was tested and worked! I gave it to posterity, though." — Alan Alda, who loves science and has been the host of PBS series Scientific American Frontiers for the last decade. [NY Mag]
• "I talk to Lorne [Michaels] a lot, and he knows where my heart is. And he knows he's got a real hold on me. And he knows my weakness. I always tell him, 'I'm an addict. I'm an SNL addict.' And I will use again. Oh, I will." — Maya Rudolph, on returning to SNL for guest spots after leaving the show in 2007. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "The Obama administration came out and said the No. 1 chemical problem in the world is mercury…there will be a lot of documentaries coming out showing what happens when you have too much mercury in your system." — Jeremy Piven. [Page Six]
• "Poor Rob is already a Beatle. His whole life is documented. If he picks his nose, it's all over the Internet. He's just done for. I think he's kinda freakin' out, like, ‘What the fuck is going on?'" — Robert Pattinson's New Moon costar Ashley Greene. [MSNBC]
• "I'm always really worried about ruining their lives, especially with people that aren't famous. it's such a massive change. I'm kind of a paranoid wreck." — Robert Pattinson, on dating. [MSNBC]
• "It's very tempting to have a nanny and live in a gated community and have a chef – I'd love to have a few dinners cooked for me. But I don't want that for my children." — Kate Winslet doesn't need help, okay?!?! [Telegraph]
• "I love seeing my name on a woman's butt. Ladies, if you want to impress me when you meet me, I need to see my name on your right cheek. Girls have had tattoos of my face. One girl went and got her ass tattooed on her right arm… It's important to keep things tasteful." — Tyrese, whom I have interviewed and found to be as charming as this quote. [Page Six]

• Could Oscar winner Jamie Foxx play Frank Sinatra in the highly anticipated upcoming biopic directed by Martin Scorsese? "Cool is colour-blind," says an industry source, "Jamie would seem to be born to the role." [DailyExpress]

• However, other industry sources say that Martin Scorsese has narrowed his finalists down to Johnny Depp and James Franco. "One issue for Johnny is his age. He's 45. But he's youthful enough to play nearly anybody," says a source. Mark Wahlberg, Harry Connick, Jr., and everyone's Mom's boyfriend, Michael Buble, have also been mentioned for the role. [PageSix]
• Bradley Cooper is denying rumors that he and Jennifer Aniston are a couple: "My mom loves it, but unfortunately it's not true." [People]
• Aniston, meanwhile, hopes to direct someday: ""I'm just waiting for the right thing. When you get to a place in your career where you're like, ‘OK, I feel like I can breathe and I can make some choices that creatively stimulate me.' I don't know if acting is always going to be it, but I love it." [ShowbizSpy]
• Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr., are expecting a baby girl. "Sarah wants the room to look sophisticated, so nothing too frilly or princessy," says a source, "She's been shopping for earth tones to mix with plum or magenta accents." [Star]
• "There were certain moments when I was 18 and I'd look out of the window to see girls going to parties with their boyfriends and think, ‘How am I ever going to meet anybody?' I couldn't just go on a date, and nobody was going to ask me out. I was working too hard and not exposed to people my own age. But now I'm in such a great place and I'm happy that I've found the person I've found. I wouldn't trade it for anything."- Beyonce [Mirror]
• Blind Item: "This B-/C+ actor from a hit network drama who has had a very famous girlfriend in the past year, thinks he has a life coach that he hired last year. What he really has is a tabloid reporter who is writing a book about the show and the people on it." [BlindGossip]
• Wonder what the cast of The Facts of Life is up to? Find out here. [Yahoo]
• Amy Adams, who got engaged last year, says her work schedule has made it impossible to do any planning for her wedding. "I'm working too hard." [People]
• Good news for Dollhouse fans: the show has been renewed. [EW]
• "We were a rich kids' school but with good morals. Stefani was a straight-A student who wore her skirt to her knee, as we were supposed to, and knee-high socks," says one ofLady Gaga's former classmates, "I was so shocked when I first saw her perform as Lady Gaga. It was at a Lower East Side club, the Slipper Room, and she was in a coned bra and little hot pants. I said, "Damn, you have changed. But when we got to talking, she hadn't changed at all. She wasn't even drinking. She was still one of the nice girls. I really think her morals are still intact." [DailyMail]
• After a "blazing row" with her boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt, Paris Hilton decided to take her father to the premiere of her new reality show. [DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, MTV has bought the rights to a documentary called Paris, Not France, that aims to show that Paris Hilton isn't as ditzy as she appears.KansasCityStar]
• "I'd never want to become famous now. I feel like there's a real cockiness with young people today. Maybe it's protective, a shell. But the new celeb daughters and sons, the pop stars, are wise beyond their years. And that really irritates me."-Chloe Sevigny [TimesOnline]
• A source claims that Amy Winehouse "has knocked the drugs on the head but replaced them with alcohol." Amy is currently on St. Lucia, doing gymnastics, horseback riding, and attempting to prepare for summer festivals. [DailyExpress]
• Carrie Prejean is in trouble again for booking a Fox & Friends appearance without clearing it with the Miss California USA organization. ""We did not know about Carrie hosting Fox and Friends on May 27," says pageant director Keith Lewis, "She did not ask us if she could host the show, and once again Carrie is not in compliance with her Miss CA USA contract and obligations."[ONTD]
• Jeremy Piven is "not welcome" on Broadway after his mercury-poisoning Speed the Plow fiasco last year: "He's not welcome here," says Steven Pasquale of reasons to be pretty, "He should stay on the West Coast forever and . . . never, never return. It's sort of like the Broadway-producer Mafia . . . They certainly don't want him in town." [PageSix]
• Me, personally, if I don't write all the time, if a couple of weeks go by and I'm not writing, I feel shitty. I need to write, just as little exercises to feel like I'm doing something."-Eminem [Guardian]
• "I don't see myself as funny. I am definitely low-key, not the kind of person who is always ‘on', especially with strangers," the actor tells Britain's Sunday Mirror newspaper in a new interview. "I think people approach me with certain expectations that I don't always live up to. I have never been a stand-up comedian. I can't tell a joke. Actually, I don't know any jokes."- Ben Stiller [ShowbizSpy]
• "I mean, in Harry Potter people likes the characters, but they don't want to sleep with them. And I guess it kind of adds a different intensity to it, which I still haven't got my head around."-Robert Pattinson, who clearly has never read any Potter fanfic. Yikes. [ShowbizSpy]

[Los Angeles, April 22. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• A dude was arrested for trying to break into the Dancing With The Stars studio.

He's now got a restraining order against him because he was trying to meet Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson — but with two guns and duct tape in his car. Frightening. [Breitbart]

• The man stalking Shawn Johnson, Robert O'Ryan, says the gymnast was "speaking to him personally through the television and via ESP, and he will be with her not matter what." [NY Daily News]
• "Desperate" Britney Spears has been sending texts to ex Adnan Ghalib, according to a source. "She keeps sneaking messages to Adnan begging him to help her win back her freedom. She says she is lonely and misses being able to date the men she chooses. She feels trapped." [The Sun]
• One of the nurses fired by mother of octuplets Nadya Suleman says: This woman does not care for these kids, she's in this for the media, for the paparazzi." [Breitbart]
• "This woman does not care for these kids, that's my honest opinion," says nurse Linda West Conforti, founder of Angels In Waiting. [ABC News]
• Yes, Nadya Suleman was once a stripper. Or topless dancer. Move along. [MSNBC]
• Scarlett Johansson is the "muse" of Champagne brand Moet & Chandon, and you are not. [WWD]
• Also, people are talking about how thin ScarJo is now. [Defamer]
• Are Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz on the rocks? A source says: "He is going out all the time and she's stuck at home. It's just not working." Her rep says this is not true. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey wants a baby, so she has dropped $200K on a pink crib, a high chair and some other stuff. Her rep says it's not true. [Gatecrasher]
• "Jessica Simpson was spotted ordering a cooked gourmet meal in a restaurant for her dog." [The Star]
• Neil Patrick Harris will host the TVLand Awards, which sounds like fun: There will be tributes to Magnum PI, Knots Landing, M*A*S*H and, uh, Two And A Half Men. [Socialite Life]
• CSI star Marg Helgenberger has filed for divorce from her hussband, actor (and SAG prez) Alan Rosenberg. They married in 1989 and have a son. [Breitbart, AP]
• Bish Plz Face Of The Day goes to Harlow Madden, resplendent in purple. [People]
• The Oscars, which have taken place in February the last couple of years, are moving back to March. [NY Mag]
• What is wrong with this sentence: The Pussycat Dolls will perform on the Kids Choice Awards, singing "Jai Ho." [Three Stooges movie. Directed by the Farrelly brothers. Starring Jim Carrey, Benicio Del Toro, and Sean Motherfucking Penn. [World Of Wonder, E!]
• Nicole Kidman's been cast in that Woody Allen film which Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts, Josh Broling and Anthony Hopkins are already attached to. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Canadian model Noot Seear has been cast in sparkly vampire flick New Moon. This story suggests, "Let the Robert Pattinson and Noot romance rumors begin!" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Lost's Ian Somerhalder has joined the cast of a new CW show, Vampire Diaries. [Variety]
• By the by, the Twilight soundtrack is burning up the charts; Robert Pattinson sings on it, you know. [Yahoo News via E!]
• A review of ABC's new show, In The Motherhood, which is based on webisodes, reads: "What may be funny for five minutes isn't necessarily funny for 30." [USA Today]
• Ugly Betty fans: Do you think Betty should end up with her boss? Eric Mabius, who plays bossman Daniel Meade, says no: "That would be the equivalent of us jumping the shark." [USA Today, EW]
• Courteney Cox has been shooting her new show, Cougar Town, and it seems her wardrobe consists of bathrobes. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a preview of what to expect of the new 9 To 5 musical — starring Alison Janney! Dolly Parton oversaw the casting and wrote the music. [NY Post]
• Whee! Bob Barker is coming out of retirement — for one day — to be on The Price Is Right. He'll be promoting his autobiography, Priceless Memories. I want to spin the wheel. [ET]
• Jeremy Piven's sushi case will go into arbitration on June 8. [EW]
• Click the link to see Padma Lakshmi eat a burger like she's having sex with it in an ad for Carl's Jr. [E!]
• Watchmen actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan just found out he's the father of a four-year-old son by an old girlfriend. Surprise! [Daily Express]
• Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford is on the cover of Baby Couture, you know, the magazine that puts the coo in couture? [Just Jared]
• Who the hell cares if Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller were rooting against Denise Richards on Dancing With The Stars? [MSNBC]
• Here is a video of Pharrell Williams singing and dancing in a McDonald's in Paris because they wouldn't serve him; they weren't exactly open or something. [NY Daily News]
• Jenny McCarthy is on the cover of Shape magazine, and says "[Weight Watchers] taught me portion control and to be conscious of what I put into my mouth." That's what she said? Anyway, she's not gluten and dairy free, not that you wanted to know. [People]
• Merengue star Elvis Crespo is accused of masturbating on a flight from Houston to Miami. A woman says she saw him cover himself with a blanket, jerk off and then expose himself. Questioned at the airport, Crespo said: "I don't recall doing that." [AP]
• Brit headline of the day: "Simon Cowell Gets His Comeuppance As Prince Philip Calls Him A Sponger." [Daily Mail]
• Put this on your wish list: A box set of Hollywood movies shot before the 1934 Production Code. "Graphic stories of scandal, adultery, prostitution, drug use, murder and homosexuality." Woohoo! [USA Today]
• Blind item! "Which mouthy actor had a waitress dump a scalding cup of coffee in his lap - right after he smacked her bottom?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Interesting characters are pretty rare if you really want to be the lead. That's the usual complaint of actresses my age, and they're not wrong. They depend on you being beautiful. Since I'm not cast for my physicality, I'm not that interested in those parts. I find that playing so many characters in so many films is a way to stay in the moment." — from a profile on fantastic, awesome actress Catherine Keener, who turns 50 this week. [Guardian]
• "Complex later replaced the pic with the Photoshopped version, causing all of this drama. But you know what, who cares! I'm proud of my body and my curves and this picture coming out is probably helpful for everyone to see that just because I am on the cover of a magazine doesn't mean I'm perfect." — Kim Kardashian on her Photoshop of Horrors. [Socialite Life]
• "I always say the younger girls have the abundance of work, but I get to play real women, not girls, who have a whole life behind them." — Virginia Madsen, who's in The Haunting In Connecticut. [LA Times]
• "Right now, I like the idea that things can just kind of pop up and if they feel right I can do them. Committing to my own sort of project, that's like, 'Okay, let me block out two years of my life and do it.' I was heavily fulfilled with the last one and I always have this thing with myself that if I can't sleep because I need to do it, then I'm gonna do it. But if I'm not losing sleep over it then…" — Justin Timberlake, who is not working on a new album. [The Star]
• "It's not black-and-white justice. It's heart-and-soul justice. That's the difference between her and a lot of the crime shows out there. These crimes are not huge. But they are offensive. And they're disrespectful. Some of them, she has to go to the law. But some of them are small, like 'Somebody took my dog!' Or 'I think my husband is with another woman.' And she pours out justice the way she sees fit." — Jill Scott on her role in The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, which debuts Sunday on HBO. [USA Today]