In HBO's upcoming Beyoncéumentary Life Is But A Dream, Beyoncé publicly discusses her pre-Blue Ivy miscarriage for the first time, which Jay-Z referenced in his song "Glory" (recorded days after Blue Ivy's birth).

Obviously substance abuse is not funny, physical harm is not funny, falling from grace is not funny, loss of bowel control is not funny, incarceration is not funny, and whatever the fuck happened here was really not funny. That said, LOOK AT THE SMIRK. The smirk is the funniest thing I have ever seen. The smirk is my…

• Britney Spears' former bodyguard Mark Chinapen is defending her against Fernando Flores's claim that she abused her children, saying, "In our time with Britney, we've never seen anything in a negative sense."

• A court hearing has been scheduled for tomorrow morning to determine whether or not Lindsay Lohan can leave rehab two months early, but sources say she's already signed discharge papers and will sneak out today to avoid a media frenzy.

• In the September issue of Elle, Julia Roberts says she refuses to get Botox because, "Your face tells a story and it shouldn't be a story about your drive to the doctor's office..."

• Charlie Sheen is due in court today and his lawyer says he'll plead guilty to misdemeanor assault against Brooke Mueller. However thanks to a plea deal, he won't serve any time.

• Oh, dear. Bristol Palin has reportedly called off her engagement to Levi Johnston:

• In photos of Michael Jackson's three kids frolicking on the beach during a recent trip to Hawaii, his 13-year-old son Prince Michael appears to have white splotches under his arms. Naturally, tabloid editors have diagnosed him with vitiligo.

• Demi Moore and Salma Hayek were spotted having dinner and talking about working together, possibly on a comedy.

• In her interview with Rolling Stone, Lady Gaga says: "When I wake up in the morning, I feel just like any other insecure 24-year-old girl. Then I say, 'Bitch, you're Lady Gaga, you get up and walk the walk today.'"

• Inspired by her friend Sheryl Crow, who has adopted two children on her own, Jennifer Aniston is reportedly in the process of discussion adoption options with her lawyers:

• Earlier this week, Megan Fox's rep confirmed that she got re-engaged to Brian Austin Green. Last night she said, "We've been engaged for four years, so I don't know why the story is breaking now like it's new."

• Cameron Diaz: Wants sex. Will travel.

• Avril Lavigne has officially filed for divorce from Sum 41's Deryck Whibley.