If The Presidential Race Wasn't Enough Of A Joke For You, We've Got Some Actual Jokes

John McCain Now Throwing More Than Dirty Looks At Obama

In the waning hours of the political campaign, with his political star already eclipsed by the popularity of his own running mate and his insistence on abandoning most of the principles he used to swear he stood for, John McCain has gotten a little desperate. Or, rather, his campaign staff has, since John McCain… »10/10/08 7:00pm10/10/08 7:00pm

McCain Campaign, CBS Journalists Are Unashamed Of Their Own Entitlement, Election Tactics

When the chips are down and all the prayers to God to win the election and protect you from witchcraft haven't worked, everyone knows it's time to call in the big guns: the forces of evil. And, if they're too busy helping the Axis of Evil get nukes and shit, well, then you can always call in the forces of pettiness… »10/09/08 10:00am10/09/08 10:00am

Palin Gives Thumbs Up To Financial Bailouts, Down To Rape Victims

Another day, another dollar, another morning of Crap with me »9/09/08 10:00am9/09/08 10:00am and Moe — but this time, with economics! Yes, there's another financial market bail-out going on if you hadn't heard because you were being all political while the Republicans were being all al and abandoning their free market principles (again) to save…

Paging Jeremiah Wright: There's A White Guy Stealing Your Show!!!

And in the end, it was a white Catholic guy who drove Barack Obama to quit his radical, black Muslim separatist Church of Latter-Day Erstwhile Standup Comedians. Anyway, meet Father Michael Pfleger. He doesn't even preach at Trinity Church, he's just a regular on their "You Can't Do That On The Vatican" open mic… »6/02/08 10:00am6/02/08 10:00am

Good Morning, Voters! I'm Calling On Behalf Of "Women Voices." If You Are Confused, My Mission Is Accomplished!

In which we adopt the persona of Women's Voices. Women Vote robocaller and misinformation chief Lamont Williams, if he only had a voice. »5/01/08 10:00am5/01/08 10:00am

Yo voters, this is , calling because you need to register to vote. Oh really? You already registered? But did you ever receive the ? Did you send in the detailed form? Because we…

Anne Lamott Tells Stephen Colbert That God Is, In Fact, A 'She'

Writer Anne Lamott — whose 1994 book Bird by Bird is well-known and much-loved by millions of frustrated, (mostly female?) writers — appeared in all her dreadlocked-glory on last night's Colbert Report to plug her new book Grace, Eventually, and talk politics, Sunday school, Jeremiah Wright and the fact that God is a… »4/30/08 3:00pm4/30/08 3:00pm

Let's Be Honest Barry; He Kept On Playing Games And The Loving Was Not The Same

Dear Barry: We Agree, Please Just Start Smoking Again (Just Not Menthols)

Today, TheRoot made the courageous call no other news outlet, mainstream or meme-stream, has had the foresight (or clear-eyed grasp of the myriad complexities of the current era) to do, and penned an open letter to Michelle Obama requesting an indulgence so Barack can have a fucking cigarette."Think about the pure… »4/29/08 10:00am4/29/08 10:00am

Jeremiah Wright: Still The Least Of Our Problems, But Our Problems Kind Of Suck

  • "He's obviously a well-educated, sincere man who has done good work in building Trinity United Church of Christ. But, to borrow a phrase that Wright might have used in one of his sermons, his rant at the Press Club demonstrates, that he is also a damn fool." [TheRoot]
  • Surely I wasn't the only one who detected some…
  • »4/28/08 6:30pm4/28/08 6:30pm

"Eight Years Ago You Promised To Restore Dignity To The White House...Brilliant Appearance On Deal Or No Deal!

Gaiety! Bacchanalia! Food shortages! The White House Correspondents Dinner happened over the weekend. "One of the most hideous events I've ever been to," decreed Ruper Everett (of the cinematic gem The Next-Best Thing. Megan went. So did Heidi and Spencer and Pete Wentz. Megan recognized Donatella Versace, but not… »4/28/08 10:00am4/28/08 10:00am

"And By The Way, Guess Who Goes To His Church, Hint, Hint, Hint?"

  • Rev. Jeremiah Wright is going on PBS tomorrow night to reflect on his newfound fame. "I think they wanted to communicate that I am unpatriotic, that I am un-American, that I am filled with hate speech, that I have a cult at Trinity United Church of Christ. And by the way, guess who goes to his church, hint, hint,…
  • »4/24/08 6:30pm4/24/08 6:30pm

Barack Obama Steals Away On Sexy Tropical Paradise Island Vacation!

Barack Obama sure picked the right time to go on a secret vacation with Rihanna! The blind guy is STILL MAKING NEWS. Now it's co(mg)caine. Barack Obama did cocaine in the eighties. Who cares if the blind governor did cocaine in the eighties? Barack Obama probably gave it to him, and Barack Obama didn't have blindness… »3/25/08 10:00am3/25/08 10:00am

What, You Assumed The Blind Guy Would Be A Faithful Husband? Did None Of You See Ray?

Oh, what? You thought blindness would be an effective antidote to the old "wandering eye" problem? Wrong! Being blind just means crap taste in hotels. But here's the part we don't get: why, after you've been illicitly screwing some broad at the 94th street Days Inn do you take your wife back there? And what's more… »3/18/08 10:00am3/18/08 10:00am

Admit It, Boo. Ashley Alexandra Dupre's Mediocre Pitch Controlled Voice Is Starting To Grow On You!

  • "After the first play, a lot of the reaction was negative. But after the second play, it became, `Play that song again,' and `Hey, that song's not bad." That's the program director of New York's Z100 discussing lovely Ashley Alexandra "Kristen" Dupre's song "What We Want." (Some mashups here.) You might recall the…
  • »3/13/08 7:00pm3/13/08 7:00pm