If The Presidential Race Wasn't Enough Of A Joke For You, We've Got…

John McCain Now Throwing More Than Dirty Looks At Obama

In the waning hours of the political campaign, with his political star already eclipsed by the popularity of his own running mate and his insistence on abandoning most of the principles he used to swear he stood for, John McCain has gotten a little desperate. Or, rather, his campaign staff has, since John McCain… » 10/10/08 7:00pm 10/10/08 7:00pm

McCain Campaign, CBS Journalists Are Unashamed Of Their Own…

When the chips are down and all the prayers to God to win the election and protect you from witchcraft haven't worked, everyone knows it's time to call in the big guns: the forces of evil. And, if they're too busy helping the Axis of Evil get nukes and shit, well, then you can always call in the forces of pettiness… » 10/09/08 10:00am 10/09/08 10:00am

Paging Jeremiah Wright: There's A White Guy Stealing Your Show!!!

And in the end, it was a white Catholic guy who drove Barack Obama to quit his radical, black Muslim separatist Church of Latter-Day Erstwhile Standup Comedians. Anyway, meet Father Michael Pfleger. He doesn't even preach at Trinity Church, he's just a regular on their "You Can't Do That On The Vatican" open mic… » 6/02/08 10:00am 6/02/08 10:00am

Dear Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Get Over Yourself Already

It's pretty clear that Elisabeth Hasselback hates Barack Obama. And on The View today, she all but called the front-runner for the Democratic nomination a conceited asshole while getting into a very heated conversation with Whoopi Goldberg, Sherri Shepard and Joy Behar regarding Rev. Jeremiah Wright. It isn't just… » 4/30/08 4:00pm 4/30/08 4:00pm

Anne Lamott Tells Stephen Colbert That God Is, In Fact, A 'She'

Writer Anne Lamott — whose 1994 book Bird by Bird is well-known and much-loved by millions of frustrated, (mostly female?) writers — appeared in all her dreadlocked-glory on last night's Colbert Report to plug her new book Grace, Eventually, and talk politics, Sunday school, Jeremiah Wright and the fact that God is a… » 4/30/08 3:00pm 4/30/08 3:00pm

Friends: How Many Of Us Have Ones Like Jeremiah Wright?

So tonight, while Hillary Clinton dishes with Bill O'Reilly, Michelle Obama is going on TV to chat with Meredith Vieira about the Rev. Wright debacle in a segment to air tomorrow on Today, a segment I'm quite sure Michelle will be able to use as a meaningful opportunity to convey just what is so depressing about the… » 4/30/08 2:00pm 4/30/08 2:00pm

Let's Be Honest Barry; He Kept On Playing Games And The Loving Was Not

Dear Barry: We Agree, Please Just Start Smoking Again (Just Not…

Today, TheRoot made the courageous call no other news outlet, mainstream or meme-stream, has had the foresight (or clear-eyed grasp of the myriad complexities of the current era) to do, and penned an open letter to Michelle Obama requesting an indulgence so Barack can have a fucking cigarette."Think about the pure… » 4/29/08 10:00am 4/29/08 10:00am

Jeremiah Wright: Still The Least Of Our Problems, But Our Problems Kind…

  • "He's obviously a well-educated, sincere man who has done good work in building Trinity United Church of Christ. But, to borrow a phrase that Wright might have used in one of his sermons, his rant at the Press Club demonstrates, that he is also a damn fool." [TheRoot]
  • Surely I wasn't the only one who detected some…
  • » 4/28/08 6:30pm 4/28/08 6:30pm

"Eight Years Ago You Promised To Restore Dignity To The White…

Gaiety! Bacchanalia! Food shortages! The White House Correspondents Dinner happened over the weekend. "One of the most hideous events I've ever been to," decreed Ruper Everett (of the cinematic gem The Next-Best Thing. Megan went. So did Heidi and Spencer and Pete Wentz. Megan recognized Donatella Versace, but not… » 4/28/08 10:00am 4/28/08 10:00am

"And By The Way, Guess Who Goes To His Church, Hint, Hint, Hint?"

  • Rev. Jeremiah Wright is going on PBS tomorrow night to reflect on his newfound fame. "I think they wanted to communicate that I am unpatriotic, that I am un-American, that I am filled with hate speech, that I have a cult at Trinity United Church of Christ. And by the way, guess who goes to his church, hint, hint,…
  • » 4/24/08 6:30pm 4/24/08 6:30pm

Barack Obama Steals Away On Sexy Tropical Paradise Island Vacation!

Barack Obama sure picked the right time to go on a secret vacation with Rihanna! The blind guy is STILL MAKING NEWS. Now it's co(mg)caine. Barack Obama did cocaine in the eighties. Who cares if the blind governor did cocaine in the eighties? Barack Obama probably gave it to him, and Barack Obama didn't have blindness… » 3/25/08 10:00am 3/25/08 10:00am

Bill Richardson Loves The Muslimy Muslim From Muslimstan

Hey look! It turns out that whole time Bill Richardson was poking little rhetorical holes in Barack Obama's record, he was actually in the back of his mind thinking, "Wow, America, if you listen to all this "experience" bullshit, you're spoiling a ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME CHANCE." A once-in-a-lifetime chance to elect a … » 3/21/08 10:00am 3/21/08 10:00am

What, You Assumed The Blind Guy Would Be A Faithful Husband? Did None…

Oh, what? You thought blindness would be an effective antidote to the old "wandering eye" problem? Wrong! Being blind just means crap taste in hotels. But here's the part we don't get: why, after you've been illicitly screwing some broad at the 94th street Days Inn do you take your wife back there? And what's more… » 3/18/08 10:00am 3/18/08 10:00am

Barack Obama's Pastor: More Hated Than The President?!

  • Barack Obama has always been black, but since he was raised by a white mom in Hawaii and Jakarta he did not always have much in the way of a black community, and so when he moved to Chicago he started attending this black church where the pastor says the sort of hyperbolic shit pastors often say, only the media…
  • » 3/17/08 7:00pm 3/17/08 7:00pm

Admit It, Boo. Ashley Alexandra Dupre's Mediocre Pitch Controlled Voice…

  • "After the first play, a lot of the reaction was negative. But after the second play, it became, `Play that song again,' and `Hey, that song's not bad." That's the program director of New York's Z100 discussing lovely Ashley Alexandra "Kristen" Dupre's song "What We Want." (Some mashups here.) You might recall the…
  • » 3/13/08 7:00pm 3/13/08 7:00pm