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New York, 6:38 PM
Thu Nov 26
42 posts in the last 24 hours
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09/23/09
It also makes me even angrier when people think they should decide whether or not women should be forced to give birth, when even professional, upper class women in secure relationships get a raw deal. How do they think Wal-Mart employees who broke the condom during a one night stand will do?
09/22/09
Lawyers view you as a traitor if you leave the law. I know because I did this and have been rejected for any legal job I've applied to. Granted, there could be any number of things - but having spoken to others, I've shown my lack of loyalty to the field by choosing to do something else for awhile. Lawyers are cliquey like that, and in this economy its even more pronounced. Even with connections. At least in an oversaturated market like the one where I live. Blah.
And the fun part is? Even staying in my current field (within the publishing industry) is rough because HR screeners throw out my resume because of the law degree. I've tested it: only call backs I've ever gotten for non legal interviews came when I've left off any traces of law degree.
09/23/09
Finally, I went BACK to school again, to switch to planning, start with an entry level job and I'm SO glad I did, have no desire to go back but I still get the questions.
A few years ago, I got laid off from one planning job and was going to temp agencies and two of them suggested I leave the legal experience off the resume!
I think that law is a weird world and peopel outside of it dont really get why a lawyer wouldnt want to work as a lawyer (they think you just need a job until you find one at a law firm) but also that so many people go to graduate school now that people look for specific degrees if you want to change careers without starting at the bottom again.
I always thought I would opt out for a few years when it came time to have kids but I ended up staying. Its such a personal decision, there is no right answer except what feels right for you.
09/23/09
I've joked that some people get a DUI when young and stupid...I did worse by getting a J.D.. ;p
This whole aside, well, aside..agree w/the on point point at the end of your point. Wow. I'm not much for words this am...
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09/23/09
Exactly. It's like changing your last name's a choice. I'll believe it when the people making the choice are men half of the time.
09/22/09
This is the kind possibility feminists like to discuss in the endless SAHM debates, but so many women don't want to hear it. When your loving husband promises to support you and be faithful forever and forever, of course you believe it, you don't have a time machine to see 20 years into the future. But financial inequality can cause one nasty power imbalance in a marriage gone sour.
09/22/09
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That's not exactly a comfortable discussion, though, in American politics. Even in progressive circles, there's a lot of rhetoric, but no actual progression. Funny, that.
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09/22/09
The difficulty of getting back into the workforce should have been something they thought about then. I would think most of them did and decided it was worth it to them. You can't, unfortunately, have it both ways. I work, and therefore I don't get to spend all the time I want with my kid. They don't work, therefore, they are going to face some negative consequences to their careers should they choose to resume them.
09/22/09
My mother actively shunned work while she was married to my dad. She thought being a wife and mother were full-time occupations. My dad wanted her to pull in some income (we were poor), and she refused. They got a divorce, and she was stuck with no career training, no marketable skills, and no plan. Suffice it to say, I am intimately familiar with the taste of government cheese and peanut butter.
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09/22/09
I do have some sympathy, but I just don't see it as particularly unfair. If, for example, a woman left a BigLaw job, it's naive to think she could just slip back in, because there are better candidates out there (especially now). She's probably going to have to go to a non-profit, or maybe local government or a very small firm to rebuild her skills.
09/22/09
I always assumed I'd never depend on anyone for an income or financial security, and thought that was very important. But I've ended up with a man who has more earning power than I could ever dream of or aspire to in my field (and enough to quite easily support a family), but conversely, less time to be there for a family. When I pictured myself working, I pictured myself and my spouse each doing their bit with the raising of the kids. But if he's always on call, I want to be able to provide a source of constancy in my kids' lives.
So I've started playing with this idea, and, let me tell you, my friends look at me like I have two heads or that I've suggested that, really, having the vote is a big strain on the female mind. It's not an arrangement I'd enter into lightly, and I'd ensure that we had some sort of binding legal agreement in place before I tendered resignation, but I tend to think people have started to demonize the idea of viewing marriage as an actual partnership... I know it can end badly, but I'm hesitant to enter into it with that view to the end...
09/22/09
Marriage is a partnership and if you decide that you staying home is what's best for your family, that's not crazy. But you (general "you," not you specifically) have to take care of yourself.
09/22/09
It's a delicate balance between "I love you and want to do this because it's what is best for us and our future" and "Girl's (75 year old self) gotta eat". The conversation isn't without it's landmines.
09/22/09
I hate the fact that he sometimes refers to it as "my money." It's OUR money, but I know it's hard for him to adjust to the situation.
09/23/09
See this is kind of where I'm at as well. I do have a bit of sympathy in the sense that women, ideally, shouldn't be punished for what they choose to in their relationships, or the choices they make for the benefit of their family. However, as a business woman, I understand why they're not getting hired, and I agree with it.
09/22/09
Also, I think there are both socio-economic AND generational issues at play.
09/22/09
What I'm trying to say is, I wonder if one reason so many women go into teaching is because it's a "pink-collar" job. My mom busts her ass, but it wouldn't surprise me if some people see it as a "mom job," where you can bring in a check without "neglecting" your kids. I think that's bullshit. I also think that no matter what you do as a mom, society at large will make you feel guilty about it.
I think this show is an interesting concept, but I'll be really curious to see if she stays or leaves her husband. A lot of wives, political or not, wouldn't be able to jump back into work and would have to stay with the cheater for the income. But that's moot in this case because he resigns and goes to prison, right?
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All of these things are likely to increase in the current economic climate, so I hope women work together on combatting discrimination instead of seeing this as a mom/non-mom thing.
09/22/09
What is the "discrimination"? Unless a potential employer is penalizing you specifically because you were out of the workforce to raise children vs illness or other reasons, there's no discrimination.
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And you're so right. She is probably getting paid a huge advance for her "story" as well as a huge settlement plus child support if they divorce. Not saying she doesn't deserve it, but she's definitely not the norm here. It's incredibly difficult to transition back into the workforce.
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I'm on the other side, and have had to drop out of the workforce to be sick.
Caregivers are heroes, seriously.
09/23/09
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