Today in Tweet Beat, it's Turtle Time. Plus Bob Saget talks shit.

Today in Tweet Beat, Mariah is trying to stretch out Christmas for as long as possible. Plus, Kelly Bensimon has a weird way of saying hello.

Today in Tweet Beat, Pauly D goes to Disney World, Missy Elliott clears up a sorta rumor, and Snooki releases her line of slippers.

• Miranda Kerr nabbed the September Vogue Italia cover, which is her first. Shot by Steven Meisel, the cover and its accompanying editorial is in 3D. Kerr's Yorkie puppy, Frankie, shares the honors. Who can argue with a puppy? [Models.com]

Today in Tweet Beat, Sarah Palin implies that pro-choice feminists are a "cackle of rads" who have hijacked feminism, Britney tweets from the Glee set, and Martha Stewart shares a picture of a cute baby animal.

Today in Tweet Beat, everybody loved Rue McClanahan, as evidenced by the many celebrities—like Lance Bass, Margaret Cho, Marlon Wayans and John Larroquette—who were sad to learn that she'd passed away today.

Today in Tweet Beat, Courtney Love is sorry for giving Frances Bean relationship advice on Twitter, Heidi Fleiss is still with her birds, and William Shatner's friends are fucking old.

• The Met Ball may be more fun than we ever imagined — most parties are after everyone is wasties! Here's Anna Wintour, almost smiling. And dancing with P. Diddy. Wait, is Katy Perry crowd-surfing or just on a table? [VillageVoice]

Today in Tweet Beat, Scott Baio tells us (in Italian) that "the broom and dustpan are in the closet." We think he's either calling us witches or imploring us to clean something. Plus, the Kardashians have written a book.

Today in Tweet Beat, Kendra won't go on a crash diet to lose the baby weight, Jon Gosselin is defending TLC's production, and JWoww's manager is Tweeting for her.

Today in Tweet Beat, Kelly Osbourne, Tracey Emin, Jeremy Scott and other celebs grieve over the death of Alexander McQueen, via Twitter and emoticons. Also, Spencer Pratt has an hyperbaric oxygen chamber.

Today in Tweet Beat, it's fun to watch Rainn Wilson pick on Heidi Montag, Richard Belzer's dog is a shower, and Christian Lisa Whelchel's "Plan B day" isn't really what it sounds like.

Today in Tweet Beat, Perez attempts to post a revealing picture of Jersey Shore's Snooki but fails, Mary Carey is worried about Celebrity Rehab cast member Jeff Conaway, and Audrina Patridge is Tweeting and driving.

Today in Tweet Beat, Courtney Love is all over the place, Talib Kweli is pissed that Real Housewives of Atlanta was nominated for an NAACP Image Award, and Tori Spelling is about to release her third book.

• American Apparel is launching a "plus-size" sister label. Called "Colossal Clothing." It's only for the menfolk. [Kempt]
• The company is also busy harassing Woody Allen. The director called the clothier "sleazy" and "adolescent." [Page Six]