• Rihanna made fun of Tila Tequila on a radio show, so naturally, Tila's only option was to claim that Rihanna has herpes and declare that she's now on "Team Chris."

• In a long rant on her website, Tila wrote: "Since you're still cascading around town like you're a prefect little princess, angel…..honey I hate to burst your bubbles…..but yes….yo shit really do stink, and even worse…..yo shit has STD's, known as HERPES, down in your private area." She added, "NOTE TO CHRIS BROWN: I honestly think that you have paid your dues, and I'm definitely on TEAM CHRIS NOW! GO CHRIS! YOU CAN MAKE YOUR COMEBACK AND I FULLY SUPPORT YOU! You have admitted to what you did, and apologized numerous times, You have learned from your mistakes and I think people should really leave that in the past now and let you do your thing." It's an even classier move when you consider that Tila is suing Shawne Merriman over an alleged domestic violence incident. [ONTD]
• Four photos have surfaced of Tiger Woods' alleged mistress Jaimee Grubbs wearing only a thong. She took the photos herself with a cell phone in a bathroom mirror. [Radar Online]
• Jaimee Grubbs' ex-boyfriend Richard Palermo claims, "Jaimee sent naked pictures to me. She has an iPhone so she just takes them and emails them to me. She sent them to me roughly three months ago." There's a description of what she's doing in the pictures here, if you must know: [Radar Online]
• Perez Hilton claims that people are shopping nude pictures of Rachel Uchitel taken on a cell phone. He probably got her confused with Tiger's other mistress, though there being two sets of nude cell phone pics isn't all that unlikely. [Perez Hilton]
• Rachel Uchitel told friends she did drugs with Tiger Woods before they had sex. A source calims Rachel told her, "You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex." [Radar Online]
• Hugh Hefner weighed in on the Tiger Woods scandal saying, "I think the only surprise in it, quite frankly, is that anybody would be surprised... If you're a good-looking guy and young and healthy, the notion that there would be something else going on, well, marriage is just a convenience. It's very nice for raising kids, but the notion that monogamy lasts forever is a wish!" Thanks, Hef. [E!]
• Jake Gyllenhaal referred to Reese Witherspoon as his girlfriend in an interview, sending all the tabloid reporters that insisted they had split up into a tizzy. "I've learned so much from the kids in my life, and somehow they just become the center of your life and the way you look at things," said Jake. "Obviously I exist in my girlfriend's world and my sister's world in a different way, but it's opened my heart and I feel much more grown up and want to be grown up as a result of it." [People]
• Tom Brokaw was involved in a fatal 3-car accident in New York today. Tom and his wife Meredith released a statement describing the crash that said: "Neither Tom nor Meredith were injured but tragically the driver of the SUV was thrown from her vehicle and killed. Tom and Meredith are greatly saddened by this loss of life." [TMZ]
• Rosie O'Donnell says she contacted Meredith Baxter after she came out earlier this week. "She's 62. She's the same age as Kelli's mother. When you think of that, that somebody at Kelli's mother's age came out... you know, that's big," said Rosie. "Good for her, man. Live your truth... Go in peace. It's not that hard. Fight the fear. Life in fear everyone's gonna find out you're gay... Have faith. Tell people it's going to be all right. The truth is the only way through." [Extra]
• A woman tried to serve Jennifer Aniston with papers requiring her to testify in a sexual harassment case against a Hollywood agent who has been accused of walking around naked in front of his former assistant and showing her woman-on-horse porn. Jen didn't take the document so the woman left it on her windshield and her bodyguards picked it up, which lawyers say still counts. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston's yoga instructor Mandy Ingber declared that her client has the perfect body. "Women look to her as the perfect blend," said Ingber. "She's very natural. Who has a better body than Jennifer Aniston?" [Extra]
• Though Star claimed the cops came to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's house in L.A. to break up their "worst fight ever," the police were actually responding to their burglar alarm accidentally going off. "We went out and checked to make sure it's a false alarm, and if it's false, we leave. That's basic protocol. That one was a real basic false alarm," says LAPD Sgt. Kyle Kirkman. [Us]
• A source insists the reports that Lindsay Lohan hooked up with Cash Warren, Jessica Alba's husband, are "totally untrue... the rumors are hurtful but they're just so ridiculous." [People]
• Miley Cyrus got a new tattoo of the words "Just Breathe" under her left boob. [Daily Mail]
• Newlyweds Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom got into a fight at a L.A. restaurant. "Lamar caused a huge scene," said a source. "He got jealous because Khloe was texting at the table and he yelled at her to quit it. She refused, so he stormed off and sat alone at the bar. Khloe just ignored him." Khloe's friend was running back and forth between the two of them trying to make peace "but Lamar kept just saying 'I'm not talking to her. Let her talk to her phone. She can be alone with her phone.' It was bad." Are they in middle school? [Radar Online]
• Hulk Hogan's girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel has been wearing a giant diamond ring and sources say they're engaged. [N.Y. Daily News]
• Glee star Cory Monteith says he isn't dating his co-star Lea Michele. "We're great friends," he said. "We've become really close over the show, but we're just friends. We're not dating." [CNN]
• Gisele Bundchen continued flying planes in her eight month of pregnancy, but now she's put off the exam she need to become a helicopter pilot until next year. "She has stopped with her lessons. She stopped before Thanksgiving," says the president of Shoreline Aviation, where she's taking classes. "She's waiting to have the baby and then she's going to start up when things settle down again." [People]
• LeAnn Rimes got into another car accident. This time she backed into a security golf cart in a parking lot. [TMZ]
• Maya Rudolph gave birth tho her second child with director Paul Thomas Anderson on November 6. The baby's name is Lucille. [People]
• The feud between Al Roker and Speidi will never end! In a new interview, Roker said they "haven't done anything and still haven't done anything" to earn the fame they have. Then referring to Heidi saying she wants to be like Mother Theresa he said, "I don't know, maybe I'm wrong and I missed something but I don't think Mother Theresa posed nude in Playboy. I think she was known for good work, helping the poor, healing the sick, not showing her ta-tas off." [Popeater]
• Audrina Patridge put her own show on hold and signed on for the sixth season of The Hills. [Perez Hilton]
• MTV told Italian groups not to judge Jersey Shore until they saw last night's premiere... and now they're really mad. A rep from UNICO National said the organization "can't keep up with the volume of calls" from "outraged" Italian Americans adding, "I suffered through all 120 mins of that show and it was worse than I imagined." [TMZ]
• The Order of the Sons of Italy in America and the National Italian American Foundation have also condemned the show, for using "ethnic slurs, violence and poor behavior to marginalize and stereotype Italian-Americans." [UPI]
• Domino's has pulled their ads from Jersey Shore because "The content of this particular program is not right for Domino's Pizza." [TMZ]
• Twisted Sister guitarist Eddie Ojeda is recovering after emergency back surgery to repair a ruptured disc that forced him to miss a concert near Philadelphia. [AP]
• Pamela Anderson is recording a pop single called "High" — about "high" fashion, not drugs. Her friend Richie Rich says, "Pam says she wants to sing, but nothing too difficult, so she's just going to sing the word 'high' over and over." [Us]
• Kate Hudson said when she took her 5-year-old son Ryder to the set of Nine, "It was the first time I saw him in shock, recognizing what it is that I do. I really think it was the first time it hit him." [People]
• Simon Cowell he has one regret: doing a cameo in Scary Movie 3. He said: "I'll never forget going to that premiere and dying in my seat when the movie came on. I've never felt so embarrassed in my life. Lesson learned: Don't believe that you're good at other things. I might be okay as a judge, but I'm a lousy actor." [EW]
• "I was 211 pounds when I delivered my son, so I know what it is like to be obese and fat and miserable," says Jenny McCarthy. "I'm 5'6 so it was a tough thing to carry around; losing it is something I'm very proud of." [Fox News]

In his blog, The White Coat Underground, internist PalMD takes Oprah to task for her claim that, "homeopathy treatment is similar to how a vaccination or immunization works." He counters, "You can measure the antibody response provoked by a vaccine. You cannot measure anything provoked by homeopathy because the only think homeopathy produces is a bill." To Oprah's admission that, "there are different theories behind homeopathy. But lack of convincing evidence is a big concern with homeopathy's acceptance by conventional medical doctors," PalMD responds,

No! Homeopathy's "lack of convincing evidence" is not some problem we uptight "conventional doctors" have—-it is the fundamental problem (along with the absurdity of it) with homeopathy. It has not been shown to work. This is rather important in medicine.

Newsweek's critique is more far-reaching. Writers Weston Kosova and Pat Wingert call Oprah out for her embrace of Suzanne Somers's potentially dangerous "biodentical" hormone regimen, Jenny McCarthy's potentially dangerous argument that vaccines cause autism, and Rhonda Byrne's The Secret, which is potentially dangerous if you, like Oprah's guest Kim Tinkham, take it to mean that you should use positive thinking instead of actual medicine to cure your illnesses. Oprah is in a unique position, they write:

Her most ardent fans regard her as an oracle. If she mentions the title of a book, it goes to No. 1. If she says she uses a particular wrinkle cream, it sells out. At Oprah's retail store in Chicago, women can purchase used shoes and outfits that she wore on the show. Her viewers follow her guidance because they like and admire her, sure. But also because they believe that Oprah, with her billions and her Rolodex of experts, doesn't have to settle for second best. If she says something is good, it must be.

Oprah told ET Online that "I trust the viewers, and I know that they are smart and discerning enough to seek out medical opinions to determine what may be best for them." And in a longer statement released to Newsweek, she said,

The guests we feature often share their first-person stories in an effort to inform the audience and put a human face on topics relevant to them. I've been saying for years that people are responsible for their actions and their own well-being. I believe my viewers understand the medical information presented on the show is just that-information-not an endorsement or prescription. Rather, my intention is for our viewers to take the information and engage in a dialogue with their medical practitioners about what may be right for them.

But the truth is, many do look to Oprah as an oracle. She had far too much power to pretend that her excitement over certain treatments ("After one day on bioidentical estrogen, I felt the veil lift," she wrote in her magazine) is just more information or people to consider. Oprah's opinion is persuasive to many people, more persuasive, perhaps, than the advice of their own doctors, and she has a responsibility not to recommend that her viewers sacrifice their money and possibly their health for treatments that have no scientific basis.

Kosova and Wingert say Oprah hasn't given equal weight to critics of Somers or McCarthy's positions. She read a statement by the CDC denying the link between vaccines and autism but then allowed McCarthy to conclude the segment. McCarthy said, "my science is named Evan, and he's at home. That's my science."

Health is unpredictable and scary, and it's natural to want to rely on "my science," to crave a certain feeling of control. Oprah offers that control, telling viewers, "we have the right to demand a better quality of life for ourselves. And that's what doctors have got to learn to start respecting." But this control is an illusion. We can't demand better health from our doctors, from supplements, or from the universe. At some point, we have to take what comes our way. Oprah's message of "living your best life" has been helpful to many people, but sometimes your best life comes from accepting your lot, and looking at your options with a clear, critical eye.

Live Your Best Life Ever! [Newsweek]
Oprah's Website Of Woo—-Can It Change? [ScienceBlogs]
Oprah Responds To Newsweek Report [ETOnline]

[Cannes, May 18. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Hi Dodai-

In response to your post on the Jenny McCarthy's[sic] Shape cover…

Here is a statement from Jenny McCarthy, as well as one from the folks at Shape.
Can you please include these statements?

Thank[sic] in advance,

[Name redacted]

Here are the statements they wanted us to run (emphasis ours, naturally):

"I didn't mean to imply that the magazine had done anything to alter the shape of my body on the cover image. I worked hard on that body! I was really just joking about the airbrushing make-up that was used to cover up freckles and stretch marks and to highlight the contours of my muscles. Other than that, it's all me, thanks to yoga, a healthy diet and an amazing photographer that lit me to perfection." — Jenny McCarthy

Yeah, sure. You were joking. About the makeup. And the shot is "all you" thanks to an "amazing photographer."

Here's the statement from the magazine:

"We chose Jenny for our cover-as we do all our cover models-because she is in phenomenal shape-and works hard for the body she has. Ask her to put a bikini on and you'll see the same body you see on our cover. We cannot change the shape of anyone's body or create flat abs where there are none. This body is all Jenny-and instead of being self-deprecating, she should give herself the credit for all her hard work."- SHAPE

Hmm. Well, Redbook changed the shape of Faith Hill's body; Campari changed the shape of Jessica Alba's body in its campaign; one of our editors changed the shape of her body and another editor's body without a full-time glossy magazine art department staff. So when you say you "cannot" change the shape of Jenny's body, what do you mean? As for creating flat abs when there are none, no one disputes that Jenny has a flat midsection; she did, however say that your magazine added "shadowing to make these muscle things happen." And there are plenty of two-minute videos on YouTube which demonstrate how to create "abs" using Photoshop.

In any case, Shape says, "Ask her to put a bikini on and you'll see the same body you see on our cover." But actually, we've seen pictures of Jenny in the exact same bikini she wore on the cover of Shape. Does she look amazing? Yes. Is it the "same body"? You be the judge:

Meanwhile, we'll just lament the fact that we have to scrutinize poor Jenny so closely.

Earlier: Jenny McCarthy's Shape Cover: "A Crap Load Of Airbrushing"

[Los Angeles, April 4. Image via INF.]

• A dude was arrested for trying to break into the Dancing With The Stars studio.

He's now got a restraining order against him because he was trying to meet Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson — but with two guns and duct tape in his car. Frightening. [Breitbart]

• The man stalking Shawn Johnson, Robert O'Ryan, says the gymnast was "speaking to him personally through the television and via ESP, and he will be with her not matter what." [NY Daily News]
• "Desperate" Britney Spears has been sending texts to ex Adnan Ghalib, according to a source. "She keeps sneaking messages to Adnan begging him to help her win back her freedom. She says she is lonely and misses being able to date the men she chooses. She feels trapped." [The Sun]
• One of the nurses fired by mother of octuplets Nadya Suleman says: This woman does not care for these kids, she's in this for the media, for the paparazzi." [Breitbart]
• "This woman does not care for these kids, that's my honest opinion," says nurse Linda West Conforti, founder of Angels In Waiting. [ABC News]
• Yes, Nadya Suleman was once a stripper. Or topless dancer. Move along. [MSNBC]
• Scarlett Johansson is the "muse" of Champagne brand Moet & Chandon, and you are not. [WWD]
• Also, people are talking about how thin ScarJo is now. [Defamer]
• Are Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz on the rocks? A source says: "He is going out all the time and she's stuck at home. It's just not working." Her rep says this is not true. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey wants a baby, so she has dropped $200K on a pink crib, a high chair and some other stuff. Her rep says it's not true. [Gatecrasher]
• "Jessica Simpson was spotted ordering a cooked gourmet meal in a restaurant for her dog." [The Star]
• Neil Patrick Harris will host the TVLand Awards, which sounds like fun: There will be tributes to Magnum PI, Knots Landing, M*A*S*H and, uh, Two And A Half Men. [Socialite Life]
• CSI star Marg Helgenberger has filed for divorce from her hussband, actor (and SAG prez) Alan Rosenberg. They married in 1989 and have a son. [Breitbart, AP]
• Bish Plz Face Of The Day goes to Harlow Madden, resplendent in purple. [People]
• The Oscars, which have taken place in February the last couple of years, are moving back to March. [NY Mag]
• What is wrong with this sentence: The Pussycat Dolls will perform on the Kids Choice Awards, singing "Jai Ho." [Three Stooges movie. Directed by the Farrelly brothers. Starring Jim Carrey, Benicio Del Toro, and Sean Motherfucking Penn. [World Of Wonder, E!]
• Nicole Kidman's been cast in that Woody Allen film which Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts, Josh Broling and Anthony Hopkins are already attached to. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Canadian model Noot Seear has been cast in sparkly vampire flick New Moon. This story suggests, "Let the Robert Pattinson and Noot romance rumors begin!" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Lost's Ian Somerhalder has joined the cast of a new CW show, Vampire Diaries. [Variety]
• By the by, the Twilight soundtrack is burning up the charts; Robert Pattinson sings on it, you know. [Yahoo News via E!]
• A review of ABC's new show, In The Motherhood, which is based on webisodes, reads: "What may be funny for five minutes isn't necessarily funny for 30." [USA Today]
• Ugly Betty fans: Do you think Betty should end up with her boss? Eric Mabius, who plays bossman Daniel Meade, says no: "That would be the equivalent of us jumping the shark." [USA Today, EW]
• Courteney Cox has been shooting her new show, Cougar Town, and it seems her wardrobe consists of bathrobes. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a preview of what to expect of the new 9 To 5 musical — starring Alison Janney! Dolly Parton oversaw the casting and wrote the music. [NY Post]
• Whee! Bob Barker is coming out of retirement — for one day — to be on The Price Is Right. He'll be promoting his autobiography, Priceless Memories. I want to spin the wheel. [ET]
• Jeremy Piven's sushi case will go into arbitration on June 8. [EW]
• Click the link to see Padma Lakshmi eat a burger like she's having sex with it in an ad for Carl's Jr. [E!]
• Watchmen actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan just found out he's the father of a four-year-old son by an old girlfriend. Surprise! [Daily Express]
• Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford is on the cover of Baby Couture, you know, the magazine that puts the coo in couture? [Just Jared]
• Who the hell cares if Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller were rooting against Denise Richards on Dancing With The Stars? [MSNBC]
• Here is a video of Pharrell Williams singing and dancing in a McDonald's in Paris because they wouldn't serve him; they weren't exactly open or something. [NY Daily News]
• Jenny McCarthy is on the cover of Shape magazine, and says "[Weight Watchers] taught me portion control and to be conscious of what I put into my mouth." That's what she said? Anyway, she's not gluten and dairy free, not that you wanted to know. [People]
• Merengue star Elvis Crespo is accused of masturbating on a flight from Houston to Miami. A woman says she saw him cover himself with a blanket, jerk off and then expose himself. Questioned at the airport, Crespo said: "I don't recall doing that." [AP]
• Brit headline of the day: "Simon Cowell Gets His Comeuppance As Prince Philip Calls Him A Sponger." [Daily Mail]
• Put this on your wish list: A box set of Hollywood movies shot before the 1934 Production Code. "Graphic stories of scandal, adultery, prostitution, drug use, murder and homosexuality." Woohoo! [USA Today]
• Blind item! "Which mouthy actor had a waitress dump a scalding cup of coffee in his lap - right after he smacked her bottom?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Interesting characters are pretty rare if you really want to be the lead. That's the usual complaint of actresses my age, and they're not wrong. They depend on you being beautiful. Since I'm not cast for my physicality, I'm not that interested in those parts. I find that playing so many characters in so many films is a way to stay in the moment." — from a profile on fantastic, awesome actress Catherine Keener, who turns 50 this week. [Guardian]
• "Complex later replaced the pic with the Photoshopped version, causing all of this drama. But you know what, who cares! I'm proud of my body and my curves and this picture coming out is probably helpful for everyone to see that just because I am on the cover of a magazine doesn't mean I'm perfect." — Kim Kardashian on her Photoshop of Horrors. [Socialite Life]
• "I always say the younger girls have the abundance of work, but I get to play real women, not girls, who have a whole life behind them." — Virginia Madsen, who's in The Haunting In Connecticut. [LA Times]
• "Right now, I like the idea that things can just kind of pop up and if they feel right I can do them. Committing to my own sort of project, that's like, 'Okay, let me block out two years of my life and do it.' I was heavily fulfilled with the last one and I always have this thing with myself that if I can't sleep because I need to do it, then I'm gonna do it. But if I'm not losing sleep over it then…" — Justin Timberlake, who is not working on a new album. [The Star]
• "It's not black-and-white justice. It's heart-and-soul justice. That's the difference between her and a lot of the crime shows out there. These crimes are not huge. But they are offensive. And they're disrespectful. Some of them, she has to go to the law. But some of them are small, like 'Somebody took my dog!' Or 'I think my husband is with another woman.' And she pours out justice the way she sees fit." — Jill Scott on her role in The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, which debuts Sunday on HBO. [USA Today]

Marcotte's piece is tied to the recent measles outbreak in San Diego that sickened 11 children and was touched off by a couple of Whole Foods shoppers who refused to vaccinate their children out of fear over a disproven link between thimerosal (which hasn't been added to any childhood vaccine since 2001) and autism. Luckily, neither the yuppies' kids nor the infants that had yet to be vaccinated died.

Marcotte points out that by deliberately refusing to vaccinate their children, anti-vaccine parents are relying on the efficacy of mass vaccinations to protect their own children — risking the health, naturally, of other people's children who are either too young to be vaccinated or, perhaps, come from countries that do not regularly vaccinate their children — for the sake of making what is, in effect, a political point that they don't trust the federal government's oversight of the pharmaceutical industry.

Marcotte also points out that the loss of universal vaccinations means a resurgence in the need to quarantine children and their families when outbreaks do occur. Some, if not all, of the anti-vaccine advocates might be able to afford not to work outside of their homes, if they work at all, and the burden of caring for and quarantining a sick child for three weeks might not be untenable. But for single-parent (usually female-headed) households or two-income households, taking three weeks off of work to comply with a government-enforced mandate made necessary by the parents who won't vaccinate their kids might not be tenable.

This brings me to an interesting and quick observation made on the show, which is that child quarantines worked just fine in pre-vaccine communities where most women with small children were housewives and could handle being stuck at home for 3 weeks. But nowadays, most mothers have outside employment, and maintaining a quarantine is nearly impossible. If the anti-vaccination people had their way, and we got rid of vaccines and childhood diseases started to run rampant again, we would only be able to control it through quarantine. And that would mean a whole lot of women would lose their jobs because they couldn’t handle both quarantines and holding down a job.

Marcotte is suggesting that the return to quarantining would mean, for many women, a forced return to traditional stay-at-home parenting roles, which is something feminism (and medical progress, for that matter) was supposed to prevent.

Anti-Vaccination = Anti-Feminist? [Pandagon]

Related: Thimerosal In Vaccines [Federal Drug Administration]

Westwood, CA. December 17. Image via Filmmagic.

• Geek girls out there, prepare to wet yourselves: Jon Hamm is a self-proclaimed sci-fi, video game and comic book nerd. The Observer caught up with Jon outside the premiere of The Day The Earth Stood Still and witnessed this adorable exchange between Hamm and his girlfriend, Kissing Jessica Stein's Jennifer Westfeldt: "When Mr. Hamm was asked if he still does anything geeky, his girlfriend, Jennifer Westfeldt, rolled her eyes and affectionately nodded yes. 'Oh yeah, I'm a big comic book guy and—' 'Video games, video games, video games!' exclaimed Ms. Westfedt." You can now commence with picturing yourself and Jon Hamm Wii-ing into the sunset. [Observer]
• More sci-fi news! Sigourney Weaver will reprise her role as Ellen Ripley in a new, Alien-related film. "There's definitely uncharted territory for Ripley. Both Ridley Scott and I feel a kind of commitment to that woman. He's as much responsible for who she is as I am." Jon Hamm will be thrilled! [Daily Express]

• People has the first photos of Ricky Martin's 4-month-old twin boys, Valentino and Matteo! Like Alex K. before him, Ricky took the surrogacy route. "Adoption was one option, but it's complicated and can take a long time. Surrogacy was an intriguing and faster option. I thought, 'I'm going to jump into this with no fear." [People]
• A retired Chilean cardinal has denounced Madonna for her sluttish ways. "This woman comes here and in an incredibly shameless manner, she provokes a crazy enthusiasm, an enthusiasm of lust, lustful thoughts, impure thoughts," said Cardinal Jorge Medina during a mass honoring former dictator Augusto Pinochet. Madonna: officially worse than Pinochet, maybe better than Hitler. [AP]
• More proof that crack is wack! Bobby Brown has this to say of his druggie days: "I had a desk like Scarface's in my room, and I kept [cocaine] piled up on it. Every time I walked past my desk, I'd make a line of coke from one end to the other. I'd take a straw and snort a line the same way Scarface did it in the movie. You couldn't tell me nothing. I felt like I was Tony Montana! The world was mine!" [Perez]
• Samuel L. Jackson's reaction to Los Angeles AA meetings? No, no, no. The star has been clean for 18 years, but he can't go to Hollywood area meetings because ""It's just too weird. You hear guys saying stuff like, 'I've been hitting the red wine too heavy and I need to stop, but I want to keep smoking reefer (cannabis) and doing cocaine.'" Maybe that's where Bobby B. is getting help! [Daily Express]
• Holly Montag has come to terms with her sister's marriage to the fleshbeard svengali. ""I was initially a little hurt not being able to be a part of it. But it's her choice and it's a special thing between those two. I support anything Heidi wants to do. I just want her to be happy and she seems sublimely happy." [People]
• Deeply shocking news from Nicole Kidman about new baby Sunday Rose. "She loves puppets!" Noooooooo! Not puppets! [People ]
• Want more asinine information about celeb spawn? Pete Wentz had this to say about baby Bronx. "Every time I see my son, it looks like he's landing on the moon and discovering new rocks and stuff. I mean, every time he looks at his hand, it's like he's Christopher Columbus making it across the ocean. It's pretty awesome." [People]
• Khloe Kardashian has posed nekkid for one of those "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" PETA ads. But she's not in her skivvies on billboards to compete with Playboy posing sister Kim. No, not at all! [PETA]
• Former American Idol Fantasia had to put her $1.1 million Charlotte, North Carolina house up for auction to compensate a company that loaned her money to pay taxes in 2006. But don't cry for Fantasia, according to the AP, "The soul singer has a $529,000 home a couple miles from the one scheduled for sale in south Charlotte." This thing makes literally no sense. [AP]
• Director Christopher Nolan is already sketching out ideas for a third Christian Bale-helmed Batman Movie. However, Nolan says, "I wouldn't want to do one if it weren't going to be as good as the first or second. That's not respectful to the fans." [Mirror]
• Speaking of Christian Bale, Click here to see the sexy superhero in the trailer for Terminator: Salvation. Question: is anyone else sick of Christian's breathy "serious action hero" voice? [The Life FIles]
• Kate Winslet is pretty much over people speculating over whether photos of her have been airbrushed. "It’s just one of those silly, crazy things that I’ve learnt to have to deal with.” [Mirror]
• Italian state TV cut the gay sex scene out of a broadcast of Brokeback Mountain, and gay activists are protesting because they feel a similar scene involving heterosexual sex would not have been cut. "I don't believe it was an oversight, I believe it was preventive censorship," says Vladimir Luxuria, a gay rights advocate."[cutting those scenes is] like showing the Mona Lisa without its head." [AP via Yahoo News]
• Jim Carrey says he's a pushover when it comes to girlfriend Jenny McCarthy's son, Evan. Apparently he says yes to "most things" involving the wee chappie. [People]
• Aw, the Jolie-Pitt brood was making gingerbread houses last night. But it must be asked: are they eco-friendly houses? [People]
• Bear Grylls of Man vs. Wild was airlifted to safety in Cape Town, South Africa, after he injured his shoulder while trekking in the antarctic. "It's really good to be back in a normal place…Now I just want to get back to my family ... and have my shoulder sorted out," Grylls said late yesterday. Feel better Bear! [People]
• Of the Today show glib-gate, when he told Matt Lauer that psychology was a "pseudo science" Tom Cruise says, "All I want is to help people. I could have communicated it in a way that was better, no question." [Reuters]
• Desperate Housewives fans, today is your day! The show has just been renewed for 2 more seasons. [E! Online]
• Aw, Enrique Iglesias is endearingly self-aware and sort of dirty! "My target audience is females between the ages of 70 and 85…[they] usually like to give me their knickers in person." [Mirror]

Us
"How I Saved My Son." To be honest, we couldn't really get into this cover story. Meaning: refused to read it. Intern Margaret applauds Jenny McCarthy's efforts, but… yeah. Also inside: According to Jason Alexander, the guy that Britney married for 55 hours, he has renewed his friendship with Brit. Britney's rep denies this. There are two pages about Jen Aniston and John Mayer being back on: They spent the weekend together in New York! Plus: Shanna Moakler describes Travis Barker's skin grafts: "That's when they shave the skin off and then staple cadaver and pig skin right on, so the skin underneath can heal." Science! Lastly: American Idol's Nikki McKibbin wed her childhood rollerskating coach. She'll appear on the second season of Celebrity Rehab.
Grade: F- (silt)


OK!
"Young, Rich & In Love!" Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are YR&IL. They vacation together, work out in matching outfits and own million dollar homes. He's 21, she's 19. Yawn. Moving on: Kelly Ripa was at the Madonna concert and totally got to sing along when Madonna handed her the mic during a song! Is The Hills over? An insider says: "No one gets along anymore. Whitney moved to New York, Audrina can't stand to be in the same room as Lauren anymore, and they all want more money." Hey, ever notice how Katie Holmes and Mr. Spock look alike (Fig. 1)? Next, profound words from Eva Mendes: "My secret obsession is love. I love 'love!' I love being in love, and I love having someone be in love with me. Love is the sexiest thing in the world." So, this is probably bullshit, but there's a 2-page story about how even though they broke up 2 years ago, Cameron Diaz is still pining for Matt Dillon. "I'm sure she still thinks about him — a lot." a pal of Cammie's says.
Grade: F (sludge)


Life & Style
"I'm Pregnant!" If you care about The Bachelor's Trista Rehn Sutter, then you'll be interested to know she is knocked up again. Another story we refused to read. Moving on: Angelina bought the same dress in 6 colors (Fig. 2). Jamie Lynn Spears has been "struggling" to shoot down reports that she is pregnant again. "I'm not pregnant," Jamie Lynn says. At her concert, Madonna dedicated a song to "anyone with intimacy issues." Her marriage is "all but dead," says a source. Tom Cruise bought Katie Holmes a cross as a gift for appearing on Broadway. The mag points out that it is more like a Catholic cross than a Scientology cross, which has eight points. But, it's actually a square cross, like the Red Cross. Whatevs. Lastly: A picture of Sarah Jessica Parker as a kid. Cute! (Fig.3)
Grade: F+ (sand)


In Touch
"I'm Not Anorexic." Basically this is a six-page series of articles calling out "scary skinny" actresses and explaining why they are so slim. Lindsay Lohan is on a "risky new diet" that involves Redline, an energy drink that promises to burn fat through a shivering response. Like a chihuahua? A doctor says it's pretty close to being an amphetamine. Anne Hathaway has eliminated carbs and sugar and become and "insane" calorie counter. Angelina Jolie is only eating 1,000 calories a day, and there's a chart so you can play along at home! The mag also claims that in those pix where she's wearing that black dress at the premiere of Changeling she's also wearing a "custom made corset." Could it be called "Spanx"? As for Keira Knightley, she is still insisting that she is naturally thin, but that doesn't stop the magazine from drawing arrows that point to her "thin arms" and "skeletal back." A pal says of Katrina Bowden from 30 Rock: "She works out 4 to 5 hours almost every day." Moving on: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony came up with the idea for their second wedding at 12:30 am after seeing the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls. The Hills' Justin Bobby speaks! He was overheard telling a pal he never hooked up with Lauren Conrad and it's all for the show. "When a group of blondes tried to ask him about it, he threatened to punch them," says an onlooker. Gossip Girl stars Taylor Momsen and Chace Crawford were spotted making out at two parties in NYC. Even though they go to the same school on Gossip Girl, in real life he is 23 and she is 15! Rose McGowan is going to marry director Robert Rodriguez after all: They'd taken a three-month break, but it's back on. Jessica Lowndes and Adam Gregory from 90210 are dating, if you care. Ooh, exclusive interview with Holly Madison: "There were a lot of people — not just Hef — who wanted me to pretend we were still together for the sake of the show." She also says: "I want to be out of there by Halloween. It is so awkward being there, because he is dating other people." Also! She'd been getting fertility treatments but the clinic told her pregnancy wasn't possible because Hef was too old. Next: An interview with Kelli Dawson, the woman who claims she had relationship with Casey Aldridge (he denied last week it in OK!) says: "I heard that [Jaime Lynn] told Casey she is pregnant." Lastly, a sausage-loving town in Rostov-on-Don, Russia, has an exhibition of masterpieces of art made entirely out of slices of local sausages and meat (Fig. 4).
Grade: C- (cyanide-processed gold ingot)


Star
"Stars Without Makeup." Well, they just did this EXACT SAME STORY in July, but here it is again. Intern Margaret says that in the "without makeup" pictures, they are all wearing makeup. Eyeliner or something. She also says they all look pretty damn good "without" makeup. Also inside: Rihanna was spotted sitting on Kanye West's lap backstage at a T.I. concert in Hollywood. "Before long, the two were full-on kissing each other," says a source. Scandalous! To mark her 55th birthday in January, Oprah is giving herself the gift of $500,000 in plastic surgery. Star actually creates before and after pictures so you don't have to use your imagination (Fig. 5)! Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have renewed their romance with intimate dinners at John's Soho apartment. She checked into a hotel, but it was just for show. A source says: "She actually spent her nights at John's place. They ordered sushi and watched movies and he played the guitar for her. She spent several nights there. And yes, they slept together. Jen says the sex is amazing and that she can't help herself — she's crazy about him!" Who is this source, the sheets? In Maureen McCormick's upcoming book, she discusses her sexual experimentation with Greg Brady, how she fell into coke, and it includes the following info: "A contractor named Harrison Ford made her a special hot tub with a hidden compartment she used to stash cocaine."
Grade: C (gold ore)


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The worry now, says the Scientific American, is that fewer parents are vaccinating their children because of the earlier study. "The CDC confirmed 131 measles cases in the U.S. between Jan. 1 and Aug. 1 of this year, more than double the number of cases reported annually between 2001 and 2007," Scientific American reports. Larry Pickering, a pediatrician and immunization expert at Emory University and the CDC tells the Washington Post, "Often these [un-vaccinated] children will cluster…If a measles case comes into this cluster, this virus is very easily transmitted. The clustering of people without protection against measles is doubly worrisome."

Study Finds No Autism Link in Vaccine, Digestive Problems, MMR Scrutinized [Washington Post]
New Study: Measles Vaccine Doesn't Cause Autism [SciAm]

Earlier: Loose Lips

[Malibu, August 25. Image via Splash.]

[Malibu, July 4. Image via INFDaily.]

• Oprah's golden retriever Gracie died in May after an unfortunate choking incident and still Oprah is talking about it, only now she's putting that Oprah-branded spin on it saying that Gracie's death was really a hidden message that she needed to slow down and take more time to appreciate her own life. Seriously, we don't even have a response to this. [USA Today]
  
• Oh yes: That's what's missing in the EU — machismo! [BBC]
  
• Memo to People magazine: Please do not ever ever put that Jenny McCarthy eats nachos as an item under the tag "breaking news". Ever. [People.com]
  
• Not shocking: Republicans don't want to pull out (from Iraq). But they don't want to give a Plan B either. Draw your own conclusions from this heavy-handed metaphor. [CNN]

• The Island of Britain, scientists have discovered, was created over 200,000 years ago by massive flooding. We think that's just past the timeline for which Al Gore can drop one of his global warming "I told you so!'s." [BBC]
• President Bush has called for the establishment of a new panel to review new safety precautions for imported foods. He says this is totally not all about China. Even a novice in Bush-speak knows that "no" always means "yes," so sorry, China, Bushie has it in for you! [CNN]
• Anyone else skeptical that North Korea seems to be volunteering for nuclear disarmament a little too easily? [NYT]
• Breaking news! Hootie and the Blowfish have delayed the start of their summer tour! Wait a second — Hootie and the Blowfish are still around? How the fuck is that possible? [USA Today]
• 1 U.S. casualty identified. [DoD]

[Malibu, July 3. Image via x17]

• Cult-member and actress Leah Remini says Jennifer Lopez "is so normal it would baffle people". Yup, the preemptive Scientology-led defense of J. Lo has officially begun! [Starpulse]
• Jenny McCarthy: A book about pregnancy, a book about being a new mom, now a book about her son's developmental disorder. For some reason, this feels kind of icky. [Starpulse]
• Scary Spice put Eddie Murphy's name on the birth certificate of her new baby. [ABC]
• More news on the black comedian/alleged baby-daddy front: A woman is refiling her paternity claim against Chris Rock in New York. [ABC]
• Singer Willa Ford has bought a $20K carbon-copy of Anna Nicole Smith's bed in order to get in character to play the deceased stripper. [TMZ]