First things first: yes, K.Stew's posture betrays her habitual ambivalence, but she looks flat-out lovely.


...and a million teenage girls swoon. He's obviously learned he can show up hung over and it makes no difference, so he does.


Why, you ask, was Joan Jett here? We don't question it (but we're pretty sure it has to do with the Joan Jett biopic Kristen is starring in).


Even in cruel shoes and hinting at her gothic villain tendencies, Dakota Fanning looks sweet, poised, and perfect.


Disco-ready sequinage like Anna Kendrick's was, not shockingly, practically de rigeur.


Exhibit B: Actress Christian Serratos.


Lea Michele, meanwhile, sheds her nerd duds, impresses Joan Jett with her pipes, leathah. (Her shoes might be more comfy with an insole. Or five.)


One imagines that Mary Murphy's screams rivaled the tween twi-hards. Her dress is made for easy shrieking.


I think Madeline Carroll dresses for all teen Twi-hards in this Gothic situation.


The always-restrained Emma Roberts shows a quieter approach to vampire-appropriate sparkles.


Jennifer Love Hewitt is an old hand at teen fans, talking with the dead. No wonder she looks so relaxed.


Jailbait Taylor Lautner looks suave beyond his years.


On the one hand, I like the whole deco thing Stephanie Meyer's doing. On the other, this is odd and not terribly flattering. What say you?


Actress Noot Seear brings us an ugly, a palpable ugly.

[Images via Getty]

• For the love of God. Khloe Kardashian says: "I want to be a skinny pregnant person." Actually, what she says when she's asked about having kids is:

"Honestly, I just lost weight! I want to be a skinny pregnant person, like how my sister Kourtney looks so cute pregnant. I can't be a house [after] I just lost weight." She does sort of redeem herself by saying: "I am always fat no matter how much weight I lose… [My sisters and I] are all curvy and we are all accepting of our body types. I think if I was in Hollywood by myself, I would be so much more susceptible to falling into having an eating disorder." [E!]

• Maybe Khloe shouldn't hear this, but Kristen Stewart says: "You should see my brother; he's, like, emaciated. We both just happen to be really skinny." [Us Magazine via Allure]
• Kim Kardashian will get $50,000 for celebrating her birthday at Tao in Las Vegas. A source says, "Kim is worth the huge fee because she's so hot." [Page Six]
• Headline Of The Day: "Michael Jackson's Giraffes in $100,000 War" [TMZ]
• Sources say the Jackson family has been invited to attend the premiere of This Is It; but Katherine Jackson and other family members insist they have been snubbed. [TMZ]
• Did Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have a secret wedding? Radar Online found out that Joel got a marriage license earlier this week. [The Star via Radar]
• Lindsay Lohan's on probation for DUI and has a court date this morning because she "failed to meet an unspecified probationary condition." [NY Post]
• Madonna on quitting Tracy Anderson workouts: "I learned a lot of great things working out with Tracy Anderson, I did not ditch or fire her. I simply wanted to try a new method of working out when my tour ended. We remain friends." [Page Six]
• Madonna and Carlos Leon threw a party for Lourdes' 13th birthday on Wednesday at trendy NYC restaurant Delicatessen. Lola had red velvet cake. [Gatecrasher]
• Eminem has declined to collaborate with fellow Michigan-er Madonna. She says: "I wanted to work with Eminem. I don't think he wanted to work with me. Maybe he's shy." That must be it! [Avril Lavigne's new man is Dole Food Company billionaire Justin Murdock. Not a sk8r boi. [Daily Telegraph]
• Diddy was throwing money off the stage at a show when his $20,000 diamond studded ring flew off. So naturally everyone was frisked before they left the event, which they didn't like. Guess what? The ring was not found. "He ain't getting' it back," one witness said. "Someone pocketed that, and they probably took it to the nearest jeweler." My guess? Someone swallowed it and is hoping for the best. [NY Post]
• "David Beckham's son Brooklyn is carving out a sporting name for himself... as an American footballer." Coaches at his school have called him a "wonderkid" and a "natural thrower and hard tackler." [The Sun]
• Courtney Love: Reformed Hole and is in the studio recording new tracks. This paper declares: "Should be interesting because she can definitely rock out." [The Sun]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy are still on and he "has no plans of ruining a good thing." [People]
• Jon Gosselin has reportedly approached awards shows with requests to appear as a presenter — and has been turned down by at least two productions. [MSNBC Scoop ]
• The guy who punched Leona Lewis in the face is an aspiring singer who didn't make it as a contestant on X Factor. Of course. [The Sun]
• There will be no lesbian talk in Anna Nicole Smith's hearing. Adjust accordingly. [Mirror]
• Except you can read about how "Anna Nicole Smith's female doctor funneled drugs to the Playmate to fuel their lesbian love affair" at this link. [NY Post]
• Howard K. Stern was urged to send Anna Nicole Smith to rehab, but told Anna's bodyguard rehab "would kill her." [LA Times]
• Does Donald Trump really not know who Tilda Swinton is? [Page Six]
• So you know how January Jones' rack looks huge on the cover of GQ? "They definitely did some significant retouching," claims a source. But GQ photo editor says: "Yes, they're real. And they're spectacular… People think that a person will look the same in every photograph, but that just doesn't happen… Terry [Richardson] likes to work with harder lighting, and that can create a stronger shadow — that, and body position and perspective could give the illusion that her breasts are bigger. January Jones needed no help. Trust me." [Page Six]
• Jimmy Kimmel and new girlfriend Molly McNearney — who works on his show — had a sleepover. And this is news. News accompanied by a picture of Jimmy "pasty and shirtless" on his balcony, watching Molly leave the morning after. [Radar Online]
• Wood alert: Jesse Metcalfe says that doing sex scenes with Eva Longoria for Desperate Housewives made him "pop a wheelie." [TMZ]
• Whitney Houston is mad at Wendy Williams. [Gatecrasher]
• Kylie Minogue: Spotted making out with her Spanish hunk at a party even though her parents were there. [Page Six]
• Depeche Mode's Dave Gahan denies he said "Thank you very much, Chile" when he was in Peru. [AP]
• Nigella Lawson's back went out, so she put on a corset and ate a chocolate bar. I'll have to try that next time. [Daily Express]
• BREAKING: Karina Smirnoff loves being single. [People]
• Fred Durst got married in July. Then separated a month later. And now he's filed for divorce. [People, TMZ]
• A column called "A Night Of Round Table With Monty Python" is predictably full of weird jokes. [NY Times]
• The new cast of Celebrity Apprentice includes Darryl Strawberry, Rod Blagojevich, Sinbad, Sharon Osbourne, Bret Michaels, Cyndi Lauper, Holly Robinson Peete, Carol Leifer, (who wrote for Seinfeld and whom the character of Elaine was based on), wrestlers Goldberg and Maria Kanellis, chef Curtis Stone and Olympic gold-medal swimmer Summer Sanders. [NY Post]
• "At the age of eight I discovered that I could write songs. My dad used to take them to the notary and register them so that nobody could steal them from me. Who does that? What parent takes a treasure in his child's scribbles?" — Shakira. [Guardian]
• "Before my third album, they warned me that if nothing really happened, they were going to drop me. I knew it was my last chance, so I took control. I started to get more involved with production. I started to use my own influences. My music was influenced more by the Anglo-Saxons than the local tropical or Latin roots. When I was singing in Spanish, I had a more rock'n'roll attitude. I was very inflexible, very rigid in many aspects. There were things that would be completely unacceptable to me, like wearing a leotard, or showing my legs. I was more of a purist then." — Shakira. [Guardian]
• "I envisioned that as my life: staying in academia to make a living and then taking summers off to write my novels. I understand the self-loathing and the resentment, and the discipline that it takes to sit down in front of a typewriter or computer every single day, whether it's going well or not going well … I didn't need to research how to be a professor [for Californication's third season] because I'd already been a teaching assistant when I was pursuing my Ph.D.; it was a very clear memory." — Former Yale doctoral student David Duchovny. [The Daily Beast]
• "In Uganda, fat is beautiful. [Jessica is] always scrutinized by the world. Beauty starts from within." — Joe Simpson, Jessica's dad. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I think that for the first few seasons, it was very clear that Amanda didn't want to be bothered with any type of work. She's at a fashion magazine because she loves fashion — mostly just wearing it. There is a certain reality show with a certain stylist [Newton declines to identify it, but duh, it's Bravo's The Rachel Zoe Project], and I thought, 'Oh my God, that's a glimpse of Amanda's future.' We're going to see that Amanda's love of fashion can help her get ahead in her career. Amanda has a real skill that can actually benefit Mode magazine, apart from looking cute - not that she won't still look cute." — Becki Newton, Ugly Betty's Amanda. [TV Guide]
• "I go outside, and I'm wearing a funky T-shirt and my hair is dirty, and people say, 'What's wrong with her? She needs to invest in a hairbrush. I'm like, don't you get it? I'm not that girl! Like, I never was that girl. It's not like I was really clean-cut last year. The commenters are usually worse than the bloggers. I know what people say about me." — Kristen Stewart. [Us Magazine via Allure]
• "I grew up going to Disneyland twice a week. But I was banned for a year because I went to Disney prison. I was really young so I wasn't responsible for this - it was all my brother's fault. You get a stamp when you leave the park which if you put hairspray on it you can transfer it to someone else's hand, so in the parking lot he went up to somebody and said, 'Hey can we spray hairspray on your hand?0' and we transferred it. And then we go in through the turnstile and there's people there called Fox Fighters or some weird name, They take us aside and I'm like six-years-old and my brother says 'No matter what they say do not confess.' He was like a professional felon at twelve!" — Blake Lively.[Showbiz Spy]
• "It started with the fact that it was my very first week on The View and Barbara and Whoopi asked me if I thought the earth was round or flat. The response that came out was, 'I don't know. I'm trying to take care of my son.' I was really nervous. I was totally outside of my comfort zone and I made a comment that I didn't mean to make. It was a brain fart. I did not know that people were going to hate me as much as they did. I mean like, hate me. My website crashed. But then the women of The View came together and said, 'If we didn't think you could be here, you wouldn't be at this table. We love you. We support you. Don't even worry about it.' I got a ton of e-mails from women saying, I don't care if the earth is round or flat either, Sherri. I'm just trying to pay my bills. That's when I realized that we've gotta give ourselves a break or permission to say dumb things and keep moving. I know what a lot of other women are going through, you try to be perfect for everybody. We've gotta give ourselves a break." — Sherri Shepherd on her new self-help memoir, Permission Slips: Every Woman's Guide to Giving Herself a Break. [Time]
• "I'm old. It's an interesting thing to watch yourself grow older on screen. I was watching Up In The Air and I thought, 'Jesus, who's the old gray-haired guy?' And it was me. I never wear makeup for movies and now it's starting to show. But I'm kind of comfortable with getting older because it's better than the other option, which is being dead. So I'll take getting older." — George Clooney. [Telegraph]
• "I want to hate Megan Fox more than anything. We all do. But I read a bunch of her quotes, and she's witty and smart and carefree. I thought, 'This is the kind of girl I'd love to be friends with' "—Kristen Bell in Women's Health. [Page Six]
• "It was a challenging year. I may have thrown myself off a building. I think work saved me. I'm very grateful I had work." — Madonna. [The Sun]

• Supposedly, Johnny Depp doesn't want to make another Pirates of the Caribbean because he knows the last two "sucked." Disney will offer him a huge paycheck and if he refuses, he'll be replaced by a younger Zac Efron-type.

• The book On Stranger Tides, upon which the fourth Pirates film will be based, leaves room for a younger character to take the lead, but could someone like Shia LaBeouf or Robert Pattinson really fill the void left by Captain Jack? [MTV]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married earlier this month in a small ceremony in France. [Life And Style]
• Jessica Simpson is doing some damage control after the negative reaction to her complaints about having to sleep under a mosquito net in Uganda on Friday. Her rep said, "The accommodations were certainly interesting, but Jessica enjoyed being a part of a totally different culture." And the next day Jess Tweeted on Sunday: "Uganda was truly a beautiful adventure... I will carry the spirit of all the people with me always. God Bless." [People]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer called into Good Morning America today to say that though his client was arrested in Switzerland on Saturday, he's in "very good shape" and he believes it will be possible for Polanski "to obtain his freedom." [TMZ]
• French foreign minister Bernard Kouchner called Roman Polanski's arrest a "bit sinister" and a petition protesting his detention is going around Hollywood. So far Monica Bellucci and Fanny Ardant have signed. Harvey Weinstein said, "We're calling on every film-maker we can to help fix this terrible situation." [BBC]
• Roman Polanski has refused to be extradited from Switzerland to the United States. [AFP]
• Two previous attempts to arrest Roman Polanski when he travelled to countries that have extradition treaties to the U.S. failed because he learned of the plans and cancelled his trips. But he travels to Switzerland frequently and "had no suspicion he'd be entrapped" according to a source. [People]
• TMZ has obtained the 911 call that lead to David Hasselhoff being taken to the hospital last week. In the first, one of his ex-wife Pamela Bach's friends calls 911 to report an incident at Hasselhoff's home, but when the dispatcher calls the house and get his daughter Hayley, she says, "Turn around ... we're completely fine... My mom is trying to cause something ... nothing happened here at all." [TMZ]
• Burglars broke into Gwen Stefani's London mansion to steal her jewelry on Saturday night while she was at a concert in Singapore. They got into a flat Stefani rents to Dame Elizabeth Forgan, head of the Arts Council, but were unable to get into Stefani's flat. [Daily Mail]
• Britney Spears went to the Sugar Factory candy store in Las Vegas this weekend and spent $3,000. She bought three Halloween baskets, two buckets of Swedish Fish, a box of milk chocolate, and 25 of her own Circus Tour lollipops for $25 a piece. [TMZ]
• Pleasant Bridgewater, the Bahamian senator who was charged with extortion over a document regarding medical treatment for Jett Travolta, may have destroyed the document in question, a Refusal of Treatment/Transportation order signed by John Travolta. [People]
• Pamela Anderson is denying that she didn't pay contractors who worked on her home because she's broke, explaining, "I'm financially secure... It is true that I am in a dispute with some of the contractors working on my home. This is because after paying millions of dollars to build the house I continue to get bills from the contractors." [People]
• She adds, "Mistakes may have been made in calculating taxes owed and we are now in the process of ensuring that any taxes owed are paid." [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian Tweeted after her sister Khloe's wedding: "Tonight was one of the best nights of my life!" [People]
• The day after Khloe's wedding Kim Kardashian supposedly took a flight to New Orleans to see Reggie Bush. "The wedding made her miss him, so she flew to see him," says a source. [E!]
• This week, Lady Gaga will be honored as Billboard's "Rising Star" as the publication's annual Women in Music event. [AP]
• Evi and Randy Quaid's former private investigator Becky Altringer says that Evi frequently used a bad credit card under the name Janet Cross. [Radar Online]
• Altringer adds, "Randy told me that none of his family will see or talk to him because of Evi... He told me that he really misses his mother and his brother Dennis, but that they are all afraid of Evi. I used to see him tear up when he'd talk about them." [Radar Online]
• Mackenzie Phillips says of her family's reaction to her incest allegations, "Don't get me wrong, I understand that my family doesn't want this played out nationally, but the people who are saying that I'm lying have known about it for such a long time. [They're] trying to discredit me in a public way to either protect the brand of The Mamas and the Papas or to protect the memory of [my father.] ... I absolutely loved my father, but he wasn't a good man. He was deeply flawed." [CBS News]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt adopted a second puppy. Nine weeks ago they got a maltipoo puppy named Dolly and they says, "We're getting Dolly's brother and naming him Inky the Ninja!" [People]
• In the audiobook of Patrick Swayze's book Time of My Life, which he narrates, he says he felt "anger, bitterness and despair" when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. [People]
• Ben Lee and Ione Skye welcomed a daughter, Goldie Priya Lee, on Thursday. [People]
• First Republic Bank has put a hold on Frances Bean Cobain's $1.2 million trust fund because there's a dispute over whether Courtney Love or the Laird Norton Tyee Trustee Company has the right to access her account. Love's attorney says the band is just stalling because she and the trustee had agreed to move the money to a different bank and First Republic doesn't want to lose the account. [TMZ]
• Jaime Kennedy is claiming that a now-former assistant is responsible for the reports that he was cheating on Jennifer Love Hewitt. Perez Hilton suggests that Kennedy himself may have called and accused "Miguel" of making the rumors up. [Perez Hilton]
• Fred Durst and wife of two months, Esther Nazarov, have split up. He announced on Twitter: "For those of you inquiring, I will confirm that Esther and I have decided to go our separate ways and we both thank you for your support." He added, "We remain very positive and wish only the best for each other." [Perez Hilton]
• Jude Law says of playing Hamlet on Broadway, "He demands such a reveal of your inner feelings and thoughts that you have to open yourself up to him and see where he takes you." [Style.com]
• Kristin Cavallari says of working on The Hills, "I pretty much do anything they have me do because I don't care... I mean, we're filming a TV show. Let's make it interesting. Let's have a good time with it."
  [L.A. Times]
• Jeremy Piven's RocknRolla co-star Ludacris is clearing up the murcury poisoning rumors once and for all. He says: "A lot of people thought he was making up the mercury poisoning thing. I'm telling you, as his friend trying to look out for him, when he was around me, he definitely OD'd on fish."
  [N.Y. Observer]

• Julia Roberts is in India shooting Eat, Pray, Love, and security is tight on the film set:

50 local police officers and security officers are guarding Julia; yet kids and villagers are climbing trees and rooftops to get a glimpse of the Hollywood star. [AP]

• Michael Jackson is making money at the box office: This Is It accounted for 71% of all sales yesterday on the ticket site fandango.com. [NY Daily News]
• Madonna might marry boyfriend Jesus Luz, according to reports. She apparently likes how he checks in all the time and understands that she is self-involved — plus, says a source, "the sex is scorching hot." Husband material! [Daily Mail]
• This column claims that Penelope Cruz must be pregnant: She went to an OB/GYN with boyfriend Javier Bardem. Maybe he just tagged along for her Pap smear? [NY Daily News]
• Teri Hatcher, who was a guest on Friday's (canceled) episode of The Tonight Show, says that Conan O'Brien has a concussion: "We did this bit and at the very end, when we ran in to cross the finish line, he slipped as he was crossing the finish line and hit his head… And the thing was, I was in front of him so I didn't see it initially. He didn't get off floor right a way, but then he [seemed] like he recovered and [pulled] it together, and they did an instant replay, and you could really see his head hit the floor. He did go to the hospital and he does have a concussion." [ET]
• Sources say Kanye West has an alcohol problem. "He's been boozing heavily ever since his mother died," an insider says. [Showbiz Spy]
• Kanye West was seen acting "reserved, quiet and humble for once." [Gatecrasher]
• "Roman Polanski's Arrest Could Lead to Extradition."[NY Times]
• "Roman Polanski's arrest in Switzerland could lead to diplomatic row." [Times Of London]
• "Poland, France seek Polanski's release." [USA Today]
• "France, Poland want Polanski released on bail." [AP]
• "'Outraged' Roman Polanski's wife vows to fight extradition to U.S. after he is arrested over 1977 underage sex charge." [Daily Mail]
• "Roman Polanski is weighing his legal options after his arrest Saturday at the Zurich Airport. If he agrees to allow extradition, he could be sent to the U.S. within a few days. If he fights the order, it could take several months for the case to get through Swiss courts." [Variety]
• Khloe Kardashian married Lamar Odom on Sunday at a private residence in Beverly Hills. She wore Vera Wang; the flowers were all white; preparation for the nuptials were covered by cameras from E!. [People]
• The wedding will air on E!'s Keeping Up With The Kardashians, in case you weren't clear on that. [NY Daily News]
• Here's the thing: E! agreed to pick up the $1 million tab for Khloe Kardashian's wedding only if it was staged by Sunday — that way it could open the new seaason of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. But since Lamar Odom's lawyers didn't have time to do a pre-nup, yesterday's "wedding" may not have been legally binding. [NY Post]
• Padma Lakshmi, 39, is reportedly pregnant with her first child by boyfriend Manu Nathan, 27. [JustJared]
• Clive Owen is a Liverpool football (soccer) fan, and watched a game in a NYC sports bar with other fans, only one of whom asked, "What was it like snogging Julia Roberts?" [The New Yorker]
• Amy Winehouse's father, Mitch, will join the cast of I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here. [Ireland Online]
• Kate Moss: Making music her focus? She has registered as a songwriter and publisher with the Performing Rights Society, where artists can protect any future royalties from their records. [Daily Express]
• Not that Kate Moss isn't modeling — she's totally the G in Paris Vogue. [TheLifeFiles]
• Simon Cowell is about to become the highest-paid star on TV — with his deal to bring X Factor to the U.S. (he'll producer, not appear on the show) — Cowell will make $103 million by next fall. That's more than Oprah, if you don't include her "empire" earnings. [NY Post]
• The Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond Jr. has checked into rehab; ex-girlfriend Agyness Deyn was seen out with her old flame, Miles Kane, during fashion week. [Daily Mail]
• "[John Travolta's] public acknowledgement that his son, who died in January, was autistic has former Scientologists convinced that he will leave the church-which they say has little tolerance for chronic conditions." [The Daily Beast]
• Rihanna was in Venice for her manager's wedding, and naturally, she posed with and signed an autograph for an Italian monk. He looks incredibly happy. [Daily Mail]
• "Jude Law is refusing to see his newborn daughter until a DNA test proves he is the father, according to new reports." [Daily Express]
• Has Jude Law banned interviewers from asking him about his new daughter? A source says yes, and that's why he didn't talk about it on Regis & Kelly. Jude's rep says "No subjects are banned." [Page Six]
• Jamie Kennedy has reportedly been cheating on Jennifer Love Hewitt with his ex-girlfriend, Shannon Funk. Funk was Britney Spears' assistant for a while. [Prz]
• Megan Fox told Nylon magazine that she thinks she's "really overexposed," which may be one of her most astute quotes ever. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Andrew Shue and the Today show's Amy Robach: Engaged. [People]
• Paris Hilton drove her new pink Bentley to the launch of a jewelry line, where the organizers offered her a free diamond pendant and she "begged and begged to take the matching earrings, too." Vivica A. Fox was at the same event and refused a free diamond bracelet, saying: "I'll buy it myself from my next paycheck." [Page Six]
• Kristen Bell hearts butterscotch pudding. [People]
• 75-year-old Larry King has been interviewing celebrities since 1985; his contract with CNN is set to expire in 18 months. Should he retire, who would take his place? Ryan Seacrest, Katie Couric and Joy Behar are reported contenders. [Page Six]
• Housewife Bethenny Frankel has been "gradually cutting ties" with the other housewives "since news that she'd get her own show on Bravo broke during the summer months." [Gatecrasher]
• Even though Marilyn Manson announced that he has the swine flu, his reps are denying that he is sick, which is just weird. [Gatecrasher]
• Justin Guarini was married over the weekend and the ceremony featured music by Radiohead, Paramore and Peter Gabriel — played by a string quartet. [People]
• Actress/model Angie Everhart denies that British royal Prince Andrew is the father of the baby boy she gave birth to in July. She says: "Just because I've been linked romantically with him in the past it doesn't mean I am still going to bed with him. Whether I am or not is nobody's business but ours… Kayden's daddy is someone who is not in the public eye." [Daily Express]
• This compilation of quotes from Robbie Williams is hilarious. [Guardian]
• "I never tried hard at anything. I was born smart on a very working-class estate. A couple of people I knew went to university apart from me, but all the way through I was the smartest kid in the school. That's luck, but I was proud of it. And I was also proud of doing well without trying. As you get older, and it took me a long time to realise it, that's a disgusting attitude, revolting. It's ignorant and it's a tragic waste, and I realised that the work itself is the reward. The struggle itself is the reward." — Ricky Gervais. [Guardian]
• "I knew my character was going to be pregnant the entire first season, so I figured it was a good time to have another kid." — Jenna Elfman, on being pregnant at the same time as her character in her new show Accidentally On Purpose. [USA Today]
• "The one through-line is the big accent and the in-your-face attitude. I'm definitely stereotyped and I'm very OK with that. I get super bored playing bland, normal girls." — Drea de Matteo, on playing a "tough broad" on Desperate Housewives, who sounds a lot like her Sopranos character. [Time]
• "I just passed my driving test. Took me 60 years, but I did it! For the first time in my life, I'm legal to drive, so watch out!" — Ozzy Osbourne. [MSNBC]
• "When I asked him what he envisioned, he mentioned Serge and Brigitte, Lee Hazlewood and Nancy Sinatra. So for me, I kind of saw it more as 'he said, she said' duets, as opposed to something that was just two people singing together. It's the kind of interplay between a male perspective and a female perspective, so they were a great example of that." — Scarlett Johansson on her duets with Pete Yorn. [NPR]
• "I wish a happy birthday to Sophia Loren, my splendid twin, and I ask her to stop wearing fur — that is the best gift she could offer me." — Brigitte Bardot, who, like Loren, turned 75 this week. [AFP]
• "She doesn't have a penis. She came to my house in her underwear and I saw no hint of a penis. She thought it was appropriate attire. She can get away with it. She knows what she's doing. She ain't no fool. She's brilliant. I think she's a good role model for girls. She plays with sex and makes it unsexy on purpose - so outrageous it's approachable."— Mika, on Lady Gaga. [ONTD via MTV.au]

• Seriously, Jennifer Aniston, what the hell are you doing? First you signed on for desperado babyfever flick The Baster, now you're doing a movie called Pumas. That's right: PUMAS. The plot:

"Two thirtysomething women make a habit of romancing younger men." But wait: The ladies take a French skiing vacation that "challenges their romantic expectations." What's next? Old Maid: The Musical? [Variety]

• Mel Gibson was in a scuffle with a photographer and the snapper's friend; a shirt got ripped open and someone is filing a battery report against Gibson. More to come. [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton arrived in New York on Tuesday night to start filming The Beautiful Life, but some are saying it's too soon after her hospitalization. Here's the thing: On the show, Mischa plays an aging supermodel with a drug problem. [Gatecrasher]
• Isn't it interesting that we don't know who the mother of Jude Law's love child is? Someone from the set of Sherlock Holmes perhaps? [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez, her luggage, her husband and her impeccably dressed children are in Rome. [Daily Mail]
• Nadya Suleman's reality show is in production. Right now, her 14 kids are being kept off camera, while work permits are being figured out. Her lawyer says: "It most likely will be aired in the UK first once it gets finished, but there has been substantial interest from a U.S. major cable network." [EW]
• Kenny Chesney is denying the Star report (from yesterday's Midweek Madness) that he and Jessica Simpson flirted on July 4, in front on Tony Romo. "Tony's a friend, and I wouldn't flirt with a buddy's girlfriend," says Chesney. "More importantly, Jessica was just being sweet and there was nothing else to it." [People]
• Liam Gallagher and Lily Allen were on an 11-hour Virgin Atlantic flight to Japan and were repeatedly told to "calm down" as they boozed it up in a "marathon drinking session." [The Sun]
• BREAKING: Kim Kardashian doing "okay" after split. [People]
• Amy Winehouse made a deal with her neighbor — he'd grill the meat she'd bought if she'd do a private gig for him one day. [The Sun]
• Here's what happens when Hollywood films a movie in your house: branches with fake leaves arrive; Betty White holds your dog; Ryan Reynolds ignores you. [NY Times]
• Michael Jackson's mother, Katherine, will get custody of his kids. Katherine and Debbie Rowe have reached an agreement which gives Rowe visitation rights — but no additional money. [CBS News]
• Debbie Rowe wants the kids to have a psychologist to help them adjust to her being in their lives… And she will get one. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's personal nurse and nutritionist Cherilyn Lee says she never saw him take any IV drugs. What I knew for a fact was he had very small veins. "When I met him and did his blood work he said, 'Don't feel bad because I have tiny squiggly veins, sometimes it takes 30 minutes to an hour to find my veins.'" [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's personal chef, Kai Chase, is still talking about being in the house the day the singer died. "I thought maybe Mr Jackson is sleeping late," she says. Also: She is sort of pushing a cookbook, tentatively titled Fit for a King. [Guardian]
• Dr. Conrad Murray was sentenced to jail earlier this year… for non-payment of child support. [Radar Online]
• Dr. Murray may lose his Las Vegas home. [NY Daily News]
• TMZ spoke to two sisters who worked for Dr. Conrad Murray — LaQuisha Middleton and LaQuanda Price — trying to get details about boxes of dirty needles and whatnot. Whatever you do, do not read the comments over there. [TMZ]
• Rumor has it Michael Jackson's will is not valid because it's not notarized; but in California, a will doesn't have to be notarized. So. [TMZ]
• Speaking of doctors and celebrities with prescription problems… Elvis' doctor has a new book in which he says: "I don't regret any of the medications I gave him. They were necessities." [UPI]
• Daniel Bark, who is charged with vehicular homicide in the death of American Idol contestant Alexis Cohen, says Cohen was drunk. [TMZ]
• The Sex And The City movie sequel is having issues attempting to shoot in Dubai, probably because the UAE authorities don't like that the word "sex" is in the title. [Daily Express]
• Russell Brand "was seen being propositioned by a member of staff from naughty undercracker shop Agent Provocateur." He was in the store chatting with the young lady; and as he left, she ran after him with her phone number. In other words: Just another Wednesday. [The Sun]
• Are Lil' Kim and Scott Storch back on? [Page Six]
• "There's a better fight in the season opener of The Real Housewives of Atlanta than there was in the recent finale of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. [NY Daily News]
• Balthazar Getty: Back with his wife? [Daily Mail]
• The casting of Bryce Dallas Howard and the ousting of Rachelle Lefevre = Twilight dramz. [E!]
• Put it this way: Rachelle Lefevre was "stunned" that her role in Eclipse was cast with someone else. [AP]
• Bridget Moynahan will star with Aaron Eckhart in Battle: Los Angeles, a flick about a Marine platoon in a face off against aliens attacking L.A. [Variety]
• Matthew McConaughey and Eva Mendes are in talks to star in Southbound, in which he'd play a a patrol officer on the border between California and Mexico who accepts a bribe from a beautiful Mexican woman. Eva was born in Miami to Cuban-American parents but whatever. [Variety]
• Russell Crowe will star in The Next The Days, directed by Paul Haggis (Crash). Crowe will play a teacher whose wife is arrested and convicted of a murder she says she did not commit. [Variety]
• By the by, while filming Robin Hood, Russell Crowe popped into a charity shop and donated £1000. [The Sun]
• Interested in ESPN reporter Erin Andrews' 911 call? [TMZ]
• Shakira is back! Her new album and first single are called She Wolf, and the video airs tonight on MTV. You'll see her dancing in a golden cage: "It was improvisation. I went crazy," she says. "They said 'Action!' and I just started hanging from the bars. I felt so inspired, maybe because I felt like I was a living metaphor trapped inside the cage." [USA Today]
• Weird: Val Klimer owes $538,858 in unpaid taxes in New Jersey, even though he is originally from L.A. and has been living in New Mexico for the last 20 years. [TMZ]
• Audrina from The Hills has a new man, an "Aussie BMXer" named Corey Bohan. [E!]
• Gretchen Wilson plans to start her own label which, of course, she will call Redneck Records. [USA Today]
• Men At Work: Still facing plagiarism charges, from a song that was a hit in 1981. [BBC News]
• "I think it's brilliant that Leno is at 10 p.m., because America can get bored more easily and go to sleep earlier. When was the last time you heard, 'Did you hear what Leno said last night?'" — Joan Rivers. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• "I can't wear a skirt that's too short any more. It's not that my legs are bad, it just looks silly. I feel less pressure to dress youthfully. I'm 50 and everyone knows I'm 50 – who are you kidding? Jeans are my uniform. I have about 15 pairs." — Michelle Pfeiffer. [Daily Express]
• "You just read it. Seriously. It is an incredible document. I think people either forget about it or have been taught it too early in their lives. It's a document worth reading and rereading every single year because it's the principles in that document that we should be loyal to and fight for and struggle for, rather than whichever government is in power." — Matt Damon, on making reciting the Declaration of Independence exciting for a History Channel movie. [AP]
• "I love my curves, I embrace them, but I have to walk a fine line. I think it comes down to being voluptuous, and if your body's a certain way, then things can go distasteful in a second… I love therapy! I'm very in touch with my feelings... there's nothing like going in and sitting down and talking to someone who has no emotional tie to your life." — Eva Mendes. [NY Daily News]
• "I want a part so bad. Any part's fine. I will be the vampire who carries Robert Pattinson's luggage in the airport. That is the part that I will play if they need it. I'd pass out [if I met Robert]. I can't talk about it, 'cause I'd pass out. It's because he's Edward. Listen, Edward can fly you through the forest. He's like Aladdin with vampire teeth - there's magic-carpet rides. He can sing. He can watch you sleep. He plays music. He sniffs your neck. I mean, please!" — Jennifer Love Hewitt really really really wants to be in a Twilight movie, poor thing. [MSNBC]

• Mischa Barton's former friend Nicole Richie is helping her get her life back together after her recent meltdown. Nicole, "stepped in and talked to her about making changes in her life… basically doing a 360," says a source.

• "Mischa isn't even smoking anymore, thanks to Nicole... Nicole told Mischa that she has to straighten up because she has a lot riding on this new show," added the source. We hate to question an anonymous source, but it seems her math is a little off there. [Radar Online]
• Maybe the rumors are true: Mischa Barton is scheduled to return to work on The Beautiful Life later this week. Her rep says she "will be resuming production as planned with the rest of the cast in NYC. She's back to business as usual." [People]
• Jessica Simpson said she's not going to ask Tony Romo to return the $100,000 boat she got him for his last birthday. She explained, "I'm not an Indian giver." [TMZ]
• Joe Simpson says Jessica Simpson is "doing very good," since the breakup and she got a 5-carat diamond ring this weekend from a random jewelry designer at a party. What more could a girl want? [E!]
• "Jen romping with so publicly with Butler is like stabbing a knife through Brad's heart," claims a source, because as we all know the only reason Jennifer Aniston continues to pursue romantic relationships is to make Brad Pitt jealous. [ONTD]
• Just so you know, Brad Pitt bought another motorcycle. [The Daily Mail]
• Some are interpreting a reference Miley Cyrus made on Twitter to a John Mayer song to mean that she's going to break up with Nick Jonas for Justin Gaston... or something like that. We can't spend anymore time trying to make sense of a 16-year-old's Tweets. [People]
• Apparently Demi Lovato is still friends with Miley Cyrus even though she just broke up with her brother Trace Cyrus. Lovato says, "Recently [Miley] sent me this four-page text message encouraging me and telling me she has faith in me. It was so inspiring and made me feel great – because I do get a bit overwhelmed by the paps sometimes." [People]
• Amy Winehouse is shipping all of her equipment back from the Caribbean so she can set up a new studio and start recording her third album. [The Sun]
• Now that their divorce is finalized, Blake Fielder-Civil continues to spill details about Amy Winehouse. He says of the first time she tried heroin, "We had a bottle of pink champagne and had sex and were lying on the bed together talking. I'd been smoking heroin on my own before that, but never in front of her. I got a bit for myself, and she looked at me and said, 'Can I have some?' I was out of my mind on drugs and I said, 'Of course'. She inhaled the heroin and then just sat back, smiled and her eyes went a bit funny. She said, 'I can see why you take this'. Amy took to heroin like a duck to water, same as me." [The Sun]
• DEA agents raided Dr. Conrad Murray's home in Las Vegas today looking for Michael Jackson's medical records. An agent spoke to the press and said Dr. Murray was home during the raid. [TMZ, TMZ]
• A spokeswoman for Dr. Conrad Murray's lawyer said, "It's a waste of time responding to all these timed ‘leaks' from ‘anonymous' sources... I have no doubt they want to make a case – for goodness sakes, it's Michael Jackson - but things tend to shake out when all the facts are made known." [Radar Online]
• According to Brody Jenner he doesn't hang out with Lauren Conrad anymore. "I haven't seen much of her since she left the show," said Brody. It's almost like the producers of The Hills were forcing them to hang out. [E!]
• Apparently this L.A. Candy movie is all part of Lauren Conrad's master plan. "Lauren's goal is to get into producing – it always was," says a source, "It was always to make L.A. Candy into a film or TV show. She's been in talks about it." [People]
• Daniel Bark, the man who allegedly hit and killed American Idol hopeful Alexis Cohen has been charged with aggravated manslaughter by causing the death of another while fleeing from law enforcement officers, vehicular homicide and eluding police. Bark's attorney says he's on suicide watch. [UPI, Extra]
• Simon Cowell is dating Mezghan Hussainy, a make-up artist who works on American Idol. [The Daily Mail]
• Marilyn Manson wrote this threat to journalists on his blog: "I can, but do not need to defend myself And the absurd accusations that the average press has clinged onto. If we need a nude photo of me to prove that I am far different than the soon-to-be-murdered-in-their-home press has decided to fabricate, that is easy. But if one more 'journalist' makes a cavalier statement about me and my band, I will personally or with my fans help, greet them at their home and discover just how much they believe in their freedom of speech. I dare you all to write one more thing that you won't say to my face. Because I will make you say it. In that manner. That is a threat. Mm" [Perez Hilton]
• It seems Marilyn Manson's comments were a reaction to a recent L.A. Weekly interview that paints him as a paranoid cocaine addict and claims ex Evan Rachel Wood was nicknamed "Snowflake" because "when they played shows, she'd hold all the coke." [Rolling Stone]
• A few days before their split from Reggie Bush, Kim Kardashian said in an interview about their house hunting expedition, "I've always wanted to buy a big house myself and ... It is time for me to move. I wish my sisters could move in with me...I don't think I would ever live with someone unless I'm engaged. I'm really firm on that. I have done it before. I would tell all my friends, the best thing is to keep your independence. It feels really good to be able to buy a place by myself." Of course, People thinks this is "telling." [People]
• Hulk Hogan's divorce from Linda Bollea is nearing an end. This morning they agreed to a final settlement over their assets and Hulk told reporters, "I'm a free man." [TMZ]
• Supposedly just six months into their relationship Josh Duhamel and Fergie's relationship is on the rocks because he wants to start a family and she wants to pursue her career. "Publicly they're painting a picture of sheer bliss, but behind the scenes, cracks in their young marriage are beginning to show," says a source. [The National Enquirer]
• The Sun quoted Estelle, who sings "American Boy" as Tweeting "Rihanna just doesn't do it for me," but she says they were actually quoting one of her followers and she never insulted Rihanna. [The Daily Express]
• Ashley Jensen of Ugly Betty and her husband, actor Terence Beesley, are expecting their first child in the fall. [People]
• Ethan and Joel Coen's A Serious Man and Drew Barrymore's Whip It will premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival. [Variety]
• Warren Beatty's lawyer is arguing that it would be too expensive and inconvenient for him to travel to Delaware for the trial to settle a dispute about the movie and TV rights to Dick Tracy. [AP]
• A reporter on Good Day Scramento joked during an interview with Joan Rivers that her daughter Melissa Rivers was just riding her coattails. Joan replied: "I think we're going to end the interview right here. Don't be so fucking smart." [TMZ]
• Josh Brolin says sex with Megan Fox was "uncomfortable" ... on screen in their film Jonah Hex. [The Sun]
• Leonardo DiCaprio was spotted flirting with Ashley Roberts of the Pussycat Dolls. [The Sun]
• According to a press release from E!'s Daily 10, Kevin Federline says of his relationship with Britney Spears, "It's been really cordial, you know, thank God. We've had our rough patches, but you know, right now, we're doing great." And concerning the rumors that he'll star in a reality show about him getting back into shape, Kev says, "It would probably be pretty interesting, you know?"
• A reporter asked Nora Ephron if it's possible to achieve real happiness without butter. She replied: "I feel this way, but, you know, there are probably some people who have probably achieved happiness without it. But I feel sorry for them." [The L.A. Times]
• Dame Judi Dench was almost hit by a speeding taxi in London. The driver yelled, "You stupid cunt!" and she replied, " That's Dame Cunt to you!" [Perez Hilton]
• Diane Keaton has spearheaded a campaign to keep a developer from demolishing the Century Plaza Hotel, a curving glass and steel building made in the '60s that Keaton calls, "a sexy woman surrounded by ogling men – Sophia Loren in the 1960s". [The Independent]
• "Who's not Team Edward?" says Jennifer Love Hewitt of Twilight's Edward Cullen, "There is not a girl in the world who's not Team Edward! Have you met girls who are not Team Edward? Well, they are not girls! They're aliens from another planet who should not be allowed to exist... Listen, Edward can fly you through the forest. He's like Aladdin with vampire teeth - there's magic-carpet rides. He can sing. He can watch you sleep. He plays music. He sniffs your neck. I mean, please!" [MTV]

• Hailey Glassman says her love affair with Jon Gosselin is filled with laughter, home cooked dinners and romantic games of ping pong, but, "If you had told me a few months ago, I wouldn't have believed you."

• Glassman explains that she developed feelings for Jon, a family friend, when he visited her parent's home to mulll over the end of his marriage. "He was so strong," Glassman says. "I admired him." When asked what she thinks he likes most about her, she said: "I'm a huge believer in not controlling someone. I'll give my opinion but tell him to do what he wants to do. He said, 'I'm just not used to having an option.' I told him life is about options." [People]
• Kendra Wilkinson says she and husband Hank Baskett have learned an important lesson from Jon And Kate Plus 8. "I feel bad for the kids. If we do have a show, none of that's going to happen...I want to be able to spend quality time with my child and not really give the world too much," says Kendra. [E!]
• Kiefer Sutherland won't be charged for headbutting Jack McCollough in May. The Manhattan D.A. rejected the case because officials decided the incident was too petty to be called criminal conduct. The L.A. City Attorney won't be charging Kiefer for violating his probation from a previous DUI conviction either. [TMZ]
• Stephen Baldwin filed for bankruptcy today. According to court documents he's millions of dollars in debt. [Yahoo]
• A fight broke out during Chace Crawford's birthday outing on Saturday night. His friends started pushing and shoving photographers to get them to stop taking pictures of him in the VIP section and Chace fled his own party to avoid getting caught in the scuffle. [The Daily Express]
• Jackson Browne has settled a lawsuit and received an apology from Senator John McCain and the Republican Party for using his song "Running On Empty" during the presidential campaign. The GOP also pledged not to use any musician's work without permission from now on. [AP]
• More people are coming forward with tales of Mischa Barton's drug use. In a lengthy tale about one drug fueled night in London last year, a source reports, "She told us that she hated Kimberley [Stewart] and Paris Hilton because they had made fun of her after her DUI arrest but that Naomi Campbell had phoned her to offer some support. After some time she went into her purse and took out a bag of marijuana - when she put her purse down I could see traces of white powder inside it... Mischa was a sweet person but she is really foolish as both her drug and alcohol consumption was very open. She didn't seem to be able to control herself and I'm not surprised that it has snow-balled and that she is now in hospital. In my opinion she is going to need a lot of help to fully recover from what I saw that night in London." [Radar Online]
• Jackass star Bam Margera says he wasn't taken to the hospital for a drug overdose, but because he was on a four day drinking binge which he blamed on marital problems. "I may get a divorce ... booze helps," he said. [TMZ]
• In a new interview Ryan O'Neal said of Farrah Fawcett, "She never closed her eyes; her eyes were open for the last three weeks of her life... She was watching us. She didn't speak much, but she watched us. And then, finally, she closed her eyes." [MSNBC]
• The rumors that Jamie Kennedy proposed to Jennifer Love Hewitt last weekend aren't true but according to Jamie, she told him "By this time next year if we're not planning something, then there's a situation." [People]
• Check out these adorable photos of Emma Thompson and her adopted son Tindyebwa Agabe. Six years ago she and her husband adopted Agabe, a former Rwandan child soldier, at the age of 16. Today he graduated from Exeter University with a degree in politics. [The Daily Mail]
• In her first interview since her break down, Susan Boyle said of her rise to stardom, "The impact, like a demolition ball. Anyone who has that kind of impact finds it really hard to get a head around it... I guess I had to get my head around it, but through the guidance of a great team, and they are very good, I was able to see that in perspective and really turn that around a little." [The Sun]
• Susan Boyle will pose for a photoshoot that will appear in the September issue of Harper's Bazaar. [The Mirror]
• Marc Anthony has become a partial owner of the Miami Dophins. "I'm a huge sports fan," he said. "These opportunities don't come around too often. It's quite an honor and a privilege to be able to sit here today saying that I'm a part-owner of an NFL team." Now he and Jennifer Lopez are looking for a home in Miami. [People]
• Kelis skipped today's scheduled court date with estranged husband Nas... because she's in labor. Nas' lawyer says he's in New York for the birth of his baby and is "rushing to the hospital to be with her." [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe's friend Marc Schaffel says, "At the end of the day, Debbie just wants what's best for the children... Her interest is that the children are going to be taken care of." [People]
• David Duchovney and Tea Leoni are looking less and less estranged these days. They spent Father's Day together with their kids, and David took Tea to the wrap party for Californication this weekend. [People]
• Alicia Silverstone will return to Broadway to reprise her role in Time Stands Still, a play about a photojournalist (who will be played by Laura Linney) recovering from and injury in the Iraq War. [The N.Y. Times]
• Adele, Kelly Clarkson, Leona Lewis, and Miley Cyrus will headline the VH1 Divas Live concert on September 17. [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer's Body will premiere at the Toronto Film Festival's Midnight Madness program on September 10th. [Variety]
• Harrison Ford will be the guest of honor at the France's Deauville American Film Festival in September. [Variety]
• January Jones is on the cover of Interview's August issue. She says of her Mad Men character Betty Draper, "She is cracked, which is why I love her... I come from a family of very outspoken women. I can't imagine living in a time when you couldn't express what you felt... That's why Betty does what she does. She's imploding to the point where she gets so frustrated that she does something wacky." [People]
• Katherine Heigl says her first day back on the Grey's Anatomy set wasn't that great, explaining, "It was — I'm going to keep saying this because I hope it embarrasses them - a 17-hour day, which I think is cruel and mean." She added, "It was actually kind of really great to be back. All my friends are there and at this point, they're sort of like family, but it was a little weird because [T.R. Knight]'s not there anymore." [People]
• Last week Entourage featured an outdated Knocked Up joke about how Katherine Heigl would never go out with Seth Rogen in real life. Rogen responded: "Yeah, those guys are assholes. I actually ran into Matt … Kevin Dillon in a Starbucks. And he's like 'You know, I've got to kind of apologize because apparently the guy who created our show doesn't like you so much.' And I said 'Well, I have reason to believe because I think [showrunner] Doug Ellin is a moron from all I can understand so it makes sense he doesn't like me.' And I've kind of said some disparaging things about the show. Although in our defense, [producer] Mark Wahlberg called us misogynistic in an interview, so I think they kind of started that … It's on. Luckily I never have and never plan on watching Entourage." [N.Y. Magazine]
• "It is very disheartening that there are so many older men that prey on young performers. The younger you are, the more innocent you are, the more wholesome your image is, the weirder the fans become in terms of older men wanting to corrupt little girls. Even the way the paparazzi stalk the younger artists is very different from following around adults - I find that very disturbing." — Debbie Gibson [The Daily Express]

• According to this report, Samantha Ronson went out with Sopranos actress Drea De Matteo last night, got into a fight with Lindsay Lohan about it, and threw LL's clothes out into the street.

Can't really tell if the supposedly illustrative pictures at the link actually reflect that, but whatever. [Daily Mail]

• Oy: Rumor has it that Kevin Federline is working with VH1 on a new reality show costarring his girlfriend, Victoria Prince, and his kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James. Just what the world needs. [E!]
• Meanwhile, Britney's conservatorship might be coming to an end, when her tour winds down in November. She seems like she's doing pretty good, no? [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton's model-centric CW show, The Beautiful Life, will go on with or without her — which means that producers are casting a new recurring character as a Plan B., in case Mischa is not ready for filming the last week of July. [EW]
• Madonna is in Marseilles, where she visited with the victims of the stage collapse which left two dead. She met with the widow of a worker and also went to the hospital where eight injured workers are being treated. [Daily Mail]
• Burn Notice actor Jeffrey Donovan was arrested for DUI in Miami Beach. Nice stubble in the mug shot. [NY Daily News]
• Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman were seen hanging out in an upstate New York park, and "They kept stopping to make out - and they made out a lot." [Gatecrasher]
• The reporter Jon Gosselin had dinner with over the weekend often "uses her charms" to get stories, and sometimes wears wigs when she follows celebrities, so as not to be recognized. [Page Six]
• "Are Kate Gosselin and Madonna workout buddies? The Jon & Kate star has arms that mirror Madge's." [NY Daily News]
• It's official: Emma Watson will attend Brown University in the fall. [People]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy: Engaged! [Page Six]
• When Heidi Klum was followed by paparazzi as she took her kids to a NYC park last week, it was other parents at the park who were pissed: They asked the snappers to leave, and when the photographers didn't, the moms and dads threw water balloons at them. [Daily Express]
• Sienna Miller has seen her GI Joe action figure, and she is not impressed. "My doll is cross-eyed and has the biggest chin you have ever seen. Action figures are always a bit off, aren't they? Oddly enough from side on, it is definitely me but front on she looks sort of possessed." [The Sun]
• Here's a video of Katherine Heigl talking about T.R. Knight going to do Broadway now that he's not on Grey's Anatomy: "That really pisses me off," she says. [E!]
• David Beckham's coach is criticizing the player for confronting jeering fans at the first home game of the season: "We appreciate our players and fans passion for the team and the game, but we all must aim to hold ourselves to higher standards." [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse's mom says the star is on the road to recovery: "A year ago, everyone was saying: 'Will she get through this, will she even survive?' And look at her now. We've got the old Amy back. I always knew she'd come through it. And I know she doesn't want to go back to the drugs. St Lucia was good in many ways because there were no hard drugs around, but she was bored, so she drank…She's put on a bit of weight and looks better than she has in a long time… She was busy cooking, so that's a good sign that she's actually eating. I think she's pleased to be home and I know she's happier now." [Mirror]
• Bonnie Somerville played Suzie Cavandish in Labor Pains, and she says of Lindsay Lohan: "She is supertalented. I had a great time working with her." [E!]
• A balloon company sent Jennifer Lopez a giant bouquet of balloons for her twins, which she promptly sent back. Maybe the colorful arrangement was not classy enough for Jenny from the block? [TMZ]
• Re: Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson: A source says: "Tony pulled the plug because he couldn't stand the constant heat Jessica was putting on him to get married… The final nail in the coffin was an argument they had over how to celebrate Jessica's birthday. She wanted a splashy Ken & Barbie-themed bash with all of her celebrity friends, and Tony wanted a quiet, low-key dinner for just the two of them." [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Susan Boyle will appear in an interview on the Today show tomorrow, in which she says of sudden fame: "The impact, like a demolition ball. You know, and anyone who has that kind of impact — finds it really hard to get a head around it. I guess I had to get my head around it, but through the — the guidance of a great team, and they are very good, I was able to see that in perspective and really turn that around a little." [Reuters]
• "Harry Potter's love interest rivals Emma Watson in fashion stakes… Emma Watson finally has competition as the most glamourous Harry Potter screen siren after Bonnie Wright who plays Ginny Weasley was photographed looking equally spellbinding." [Telegraph]
• Mark Lester, godfather of Michael Jackson's children, claims that after the memorial service, 7-year-old Blanket Jackson seemed confused about what was going on. "It is obvious to me that Blanket is still unsure about what exactly happened to his father.He said, 'Where's Daddy gone? On holiday?' It was a rhetorical question and it broke my heart." [Mirror]
• The Jackson family is still "agonizing" over the decision of where to bury the King of Pop, but his body is "temporarily interred" at Forest Lawn Memorial-Park and Mortuary in Los Angeles. [People]
• Joe Jackson was on Larry King Live, where he seemed to blame Dr. Conrad Murray for Michael Jackson's death: "The doctor gave him something to make him rest, and then he don't wake up no more. Something is wrong there," Joe said. [AP]
• Another report claiming that Katherine Jackson is being manipulated to dispute Michael's will. [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson says the rumor that he wants to take Michael's kids on tour as the Jackson 3 is "a bunch of jive." And when asked if he was abusive to Michael when he was a kid, he said: "That's a bunch of bull S." [CNN]
• August 29 would have been Michael Jackson's 51st birthday, and there may be two tribute concerts at London's O2 Arena in August to celebrate. [TMZ]
• Russell Brand. Goat farming. [RussellBrand.TV]
• Ciara is on the cover of Social Life magazine, but she skipped the party for the isue in East Hampton because she had a chance to go into the studio with Justin Timberlake. Social Life editor Devorah Rose has a much lengthier explanation, which you can read at the link if you wish. [Observer]
• There was some chaos at Chace Crawford's birthday party because the prettyboy didn't want to pose for photos. What the hell are we going to paste in our scrapbooks, hmm? [Page Six]
• Will Lizzie Grubman be on Real Housewives Of New York? Short answer: No. [Page Six]
• Jorja Fox: Returning to CSI. [UPI]
• Nicolas Cage is in talks to play the villain in The Green Hornet. Cameron Diaz is negotiating to play a reporter and love interest; Seth Rogen will star. [Variety]
• Uma Thurman will star in Girl Soldier, an indie film about a cleric who helped rescue 140 schoolgirls abducted in Uganda. [Variety]
• "Tyler Perry is paying for 65 children from a Philadelphia day camp to go to Walt Disney World after reading about allegations that a suburban swim club had shunned them because of racism." [AP]
• Ryan O'Neal says he is dealing with Farrah Fawcett's death by answering condolence notes from her fans. [UPI]
• Ryan O'Neal is also spilling about what Redmond O'Neal's last words were to his mother Farrah Fawcett on her death bed, which is maybe a little too intimate. [People]
• Marissa Jaret Winokur is still blogging her "weight-loss journey," although this week, it's "I Fell Off the Diet Wagon." Tons and tons of candy, thanks to her son's first birthday party. [People]
• Jamie Waylett, who plays Vincent Crabbe in the Harry Potter movies, has been ordered to do 120 hours of community service after admitting to growing 10 cannabis plants at his mother's house. [Daily Mail]
• "Bruce Lee's older sister and younger brother have authorized a Chinese company to make a series of biographical films about the late kung fu icon, saying they want to produce a historically accurate account of their brother's life." [AP]
• Whatshisname says he and Whatshername don't let the kids see them fight. [Mirror]
• Whatshisname fell off a stage, btw. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which indie starlet secretly has a house decorated entirely with Alice in Wonderland paraphernelia?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I would daydream about it all the time. I thought about the fact that there were children who didn't have anything, and I felt like I could help. It was something that weighed on me. It was something I did for the world and for my son and then for me." — Mary Louise Parker always knew she would adopt someday. [People]
• "It was fun. It was a new experience for me just to take my clothes off on camera. So to be able to scream, to be hysterical, to act out all that suffering and all those tears… well, it's not something you get to do every day." — Charlotte Gainsbourg, on controversial and violent film Antichrist. [Telegraph]
• "I'd like to go on record that he is a gentleman. He has not touched me in a bad place once." — Judd Apatow, on Russell Brand. [Mirror]
• "It's a coincidence. It's from a book called Once is Not Enough by Jacqueline Susann. Bad book… People think that I changed my name. I could've been an actress, a superhero, or a stripper." — January Jones, on her name and being born in January. Also, click to see her on the cover of Interview! [JustJared via Interview]
• "The double-edged sword of working with family is it can be the most fulfilling experience you've ever had, but the flip side is it can also be the most tortuous and most stressful, because it's your family and the lines can get blurry." — Shaun Cassidy, who, along with brothers Ryan, David and Patrick, is starring in a new ABC Family show, Ruby & The Rockits. [LA Times]
• "Stand-up is good when you're rolling. When it goes down you feel like 'why the hell did I come here?' and the same thing in acting. If it's not clicking you feel like an ass." — Adam Sandler. [Mirror]
• "This project was rife with opportunities for me to fuck it up enormously and, by doing so, prove my own limitations. To botch the whole thing would have been calamitous." — Hugh Dancy, on Adam, the film about a man with Asperger's. [BlackBook]
• "I see a lot myself in him, he is a Cancer, just like I am. I would love to meet him. He makes me smile just when I see him." — Lil' Kim on Nelson Mandela. [Mirror]

• Britney shouted, "What's up London?" at a recent gig… In Manchester. Mancunians were irritated. [Daily Mail]

• Beyoncé backed out of a performance at a club in New York — and the club owner says he's already spent $100,000 preparing for the show. Lawsuit threat! [Page Six]
• Rihanna is expected in court on Monday as a witness in Chris Brown's assault case; her testimony will not be televised. [CNN]
• Angelina was taping Anderson Cooper 360 for World Refugee Day and said: "I usually just explain to [my kids] that there are other families in the world that aren't as fortunate as ours and other kids'...And so I tell them that it's important for all of us to do what we can and then go to these places and understand what's happening, Hopefully I'll take them to as many countries as I can and raise them with an education of the world." [E!]
• Here's a transcript of Anderson Cooper's interview with Angelina. [CNN]
• Oh for the love of God. Someone has their hands on a sex tape starring Leighton Meester — Blair from Gossip Girl — and it involves her "very talented feet." [TMZ]
• Jessica Alba has sent a donation to the United Way after defacing on of their billboards. Good idea! [E!]
• Sacha Baron Cohen wore a bull outfit in Spain yesterday. As you can see in this picture, his black costume had horns, a prominent penis and a hooves. He was attended by cute bullfighters. [USA Today]
• Katherine Heigl is staying on for season six of Grey's Anatomy. [E!]
• If Jill Scott is nominated for an Emmy for The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency and wins, she'll be the first African-American actress to have a best TV drama actress award. [LA Times]
• Dina Lohan, a little late on the uptake, has commented that her daughter Lindsay Lohan had nothing to do with the jewelry theft from an Elle photo shoot. Yeah. We know. Dina also says: "Last month her personal cell was posted online and now her phone messages have been hacked. This must stop. She is a 22-year-old girl who needs to live her life in peace. The tabloids need to leave her alone with all the lies and reporting with no proof." [People]
• Just what you always wanted: Jennifer Love Hewitt is writing a dating book called The Say I Shot Cupid. "I thought it was time to share the real story of what I've learned navigating the dating waters," she says. "Hopefully, in addition to having a good laugh, women reading this will learn from some of my hard lessons." [People]
• Shanna Moakler, who resigned as president from the Miss California USA organization, says: "If Donald Trump gives his blessing, I'll be back in a heartbeat." [E!]
• Hmm: Did Olive Garden pull its ad dollars from David Letterman's show after his kerfluffle with Sarah Palin? [Ad Age]
• Conan O'Brien is beating David Letterman in certain demographics, but Letterman is close behind in total viewers. [Variety]
• "Today I begin my fast for Darfur." — Maria Bello. [Huffington Post]
• Oh, dear: Amy Winehouse is causing trouble on St. Lucia. Just by being there! An "influential local newspaper proprietor" believes that Amy's stay on the island is good publicity; a former government spin doctor says Amy should have been arrested and kicked out of the country by "the morality police." [Guardian]
• In this story, Beth Ditto goes off on Katy Perry and her "party song" "I Kissed A Girl." Ditto says: "As a gay person, it's like, 'Oh, of course this straight person singing about kissing a girl goes straight to Top 40 and people buy this record. Who can give a fuck about real gay people?' That's what's really painful about the whole thing." [Spinner]
• George Michael was banned from driving for 2 years, but now he's back behind the wheel, with a new car: a $200,000 Ferrari California. Something subtle and low-profile. [Luxist]
• Au revoir! David and Victoria Beckham are thinking of selling their home ins the South of France. [The Sun]
• David Archuleta's dad has pleaded no contest to "patronizing" a prostitute in a Salt Late City massage parlor. And he doesn't mean he was condescending to her. He means he was a customer! He paid a $582 fine and completed a counseling class. [USA Today]
• LeAnn Rimes is not getting a divorce, says LeAnn's rep. [E!]
• Josie Bissett will return to Melrose Place — as a guest star. [People]
• Do Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo live under a rock? They have never heard of Susan Boyle. [Us Magazine]
• "Susan Boyle was dropped from a second Britain's Got Talent concert last night after launching into a bizarre rant over her beloved cat Pebbles." [Daily Mail]
• In this interview, Tyrese refers to himself in the third person and says: "I believe that people are going to love Transformers 2." Of course you do. [USA Today]
• OMG. If Susanne Bartsch had been on the Real Housewives Of New York it would have been a much different show. She is a legend, a spectacle and a freak show — rolled into one — in the best possible way. [NY Mag]
• Check out this zany interview with Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, the Mr. Show duo, who are reuniting for a string of Chicago shows. [Milwaukee Decider]
• You've gotta love these pictures of Sienna Miller "stumbling" out a club with rumored romantic interest, Irish comedian Patrick Kielty — her hair's disheveled and he's got a cocktail in his hand as he sits in the cab. [Daily Mail]
• But wait! Don't miss these pictures of Kate Moss writhing on stage with Pink Floyd's David Gilmour as she sings at a karaoke party. [Daily Mail]
• LOL: Robin Wright Penn calls Keanu Reeves a "gentle giant." [The Star]
• When asked about Sean Penn, Robin joked: "Thank God somebody's staying with the kids!" [Mirror]
• "Heidi Fleiss speaks up for tropical birds." [Sadie Frost is 44 and single and just hosted a speed-dating night, which is "news." [Daily Express]
• Common and Queen Latifah will star in a sports romance called Just Wright, in which a sports trainer finds herself falling in love with a professional basketball player while rehabilitating him from a career-threatening injury. [Variety]
• Kevin Williamson is working on a new Scream trilogy, but Neve Campbell refuses to be in it. Williamson's Twitter reads: "This sucks." [ONTD]
• Hollywood is out of ideas, part MCDLXXXV: Teen Wolf remake. On the way. [Movie Hole]
• Gravely ill: Walter Cronkite. [NY Post]
• Jeremy Piven hasn't eaten fish in 10 months. [People]
• Blind item! "Which music mogul looks at himself in the mirror every morning and recites an ode to his greatness?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I would love to do [a movie about] Harriet Tubman. I think maybe one day a slave epic. Apart from Roots, which was on television, I don't think there's been a serious film dealing with slavery in this country. It would need alternative means of finance. It's not something that you could get made through the traditional Hollywood system." — from "10 Questions With Spike Lee." [Time]
• "Jennifer does not share the same sense of humor as me - she did not like my jokes. I was picking on [Jen's husband] Ben Affleck and making fun of him because I've known him for a really long time - I was talking smack - and Jennifer goes, 'You know, if you keep saying stuff about him, I'm going to kick your ass.' And she could - I've seen Alias. She has a real girly sense of humor and didn't understand that I was kidding." — Kevin Smith. [Gatecrasher]
• "It feels to me like [the band] has run its course at the moment. I'm not going to quit making music, and I probably will make some more Nine Inch Nails stuff down the road. But I'm going to try some different things now." — Trent Reznor says NIN is going on hiatus after a summer tour. [Newsweek]
• "If there's any turmoil, I think it's managing all of it, but having an incredible team that helps me do that it makes it very easy, or easier than it would normally be attempting to do it myself." — Usher on filing for divorce. [Mirror]
• "I'm embarrassed to say it was my first time voting-but my guy got in." — Ginuwine, who never paid attention to politics until Barack Obama came along. [US News & World Report]
• "Maybe because she doesn't look anything special, people identify with her. I get letters all the time from people who think she is real, and they give me fashion tips for dressing better, telling me that if I smarten myself up I'll be able to stand up to everyone better at the magazine." — America Ferrera, on her Ugly Betty character. [Daily Mail]
• "Right now I'm shouting out to real dads. Some are great role models with real academic achievements. Some are not ... We deserve the love!!! We put up with everything, standing true to what's real and letting life take its course protecting our household, our woman, our children, our family ... Biggest Shout To My Son On The Way!!" — Nas. (Wait, what?) [TMZ]
• "There was lot of material to memorize… Curb is improvised and I'm making it up as I go along in many cases. Here, I was doing someone else's words, which was really a pleasure, because you can get pretty sick of being yourself every minute of every day. To actually have a chance to say someone else's words, no less Woody Allen's, was fun." — Larry David, on being in Whatever Works. [WSJ]
• "I've been wearing similar outfits to Lady GaGa for years across Europe while I've been promoting my records. Now when I wear outrageous costumes people say I'm copying her. It really annoys me. She stole my look and I want it back." — Swedish singer September, who appears to favor rubber and blonde hair. [The Sun]
• "My parents' generation wasn't so good at that… Now, I try to talk to my kids - they don't want to hear it from me. They know." — Michelle Pfeiffer on giving the bird and bees talk. [NY Magazine]
• "I've known Sacha since he did Bruno when he was a young man and my son is named Bruno after him – partly after Bruno!" — Nigella Lawson. [Daily Express]
• "Back then everyone wanted their body to look like mine. Women would say: 'I've worked out for five years to look like you.' I'd trained constantly for the film, but I couldn't sustain my fitness." — Linda Hamilton's Terminator biceps hit the screen 25 (?!?) years ago. [Daily Mail]
• "Man, I'm not into that stuff. All I need is a brush. That and some Carol's Daughter Body Butter to keep off the ash. My family, we use this stuff at home. I wish I had the time to get manicures and pedicures, but the season is so crazy. Some people make the time, but I don't." — LeBron James, as he got a cucumber-and-lavender manicure. [NY Mag]
• "Who am I? I'm just another schmendrick who used to be in a goy band. I don't know what the hell that means either, but I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be funny… Ok, that's enough schtick in the box from me." — Justin Timberlake's jokes at an event at the United Jewish Federation, where his record label boss, Barry Weiss, was being honored. [AP]

• A rep for Chastity Bono—the child of Sonny and Cher—confirms that Bono is in the initial stages of transitioning from female to male.

"Yes, it's true — Chaz, after many years of consideration, has made the courageous decision to honor his true identity. It is Chaz's hope that his choice to transition will open the hearts and minds of the public regarding this issue, just as his 'coming out' did nearly 20 years ago. We ask that the media respect Chaz's privacy during this long process as he will not be doing any interviews at this time." [TMZ]

• But that won't stop TMZ from hypothesizing about what Bono is going through right now. [TMZ]
• Real Housewives of New Jersey's Jacqueline Laurita gave birth to an 8 lbs., 8 oz. baby boy named Nicholas Thursday morning. No word on whether or not he's read Cop Without a Badge yet. [Us]
• An independent autopsy of David Carradine's body, requested by his family, concluded that the actor did not commit suicide. [Breitbart]
• Dr. Michael Baden, the guy from all those HBO autopsy shows, is the one who performed the examination. [TMZ]
• Nicolas Cage felt it was important enough to released an official statement alerting people that he did not hire a Voodoo Priestess to break a hex on the set The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Cage said, "I don't know why tabloids don't call up and ask before they print this gobbly gook." Maybe because you use words that sound like the name of a candy Hogwarts students could purchase in Diagon Alley, thus confirming an interest in dark arts? [NY Mag]
• Miley Cyrus is "devastated" over her breakup with model Justin Gaston, as her Tweets—"Tears are words the heart can't express"—would indicate. [Daily Express]
• But not that devastated. Miley and Nick Jonas are back on, as evidenced by blurry photos of them jet skiing together in Georgia. That's the most fun she'll ever have between her legs as long as she's with that guy. [Perez Hilton]
• Paris Hilton got over her breakup with Doug Reinhardt—real fast—with the help of a hookup with Cristiano Ronaldo. [TMZ]
• Does Rihanna have a new boyfriend? She's been seen hanging out with Canadian rapper Aubrey "Drake" Graham a bunch for the past month. I thought "Aubrey" was a girl group girl's name.[People]
• Before she was fired from her position as Miss California USA, Carrie Prejean was offered a spot on I'm a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! The producers of the show promised her $70,000 if she stayed for one week and $140,000 if she stayed for all three weeks. A pageant exec turned the offer down for her. [TMZ]
• Kyle MacLachlan is considering leaving Desperate Housewives to be a stay-at-home-dad. [Daily Express]
• John Cleese is recovering from eye surgery, and uplifted by well-wishers. [Daily Express]
• Television actor Johnny Palermo—once a regular on the Nickelodeon series Just for Kicks—was killed this week, along with his girlfriend, in a car accident in L.A. He was 27. [UPI]
• Martha Stewart's lynx Himalayan cat Mozart passed away. He was 19. [TMZ]
• My Name Is Earl is finally dead. A statement issued by producers said they "could not make the economics work without seriously undermining the artistic integrity of the series." [NY Mag]
• Yoko Ono was given a lifetime achievement award at the Mojo magazine awards in London, for changing "music as we know it in her own right." [BBC]
• A bunch of Austrian's are already pissed off about Bruno, in which Sacha Baron Cohen plays a gay fashion journalist who wants to be "the most famous Austrian since Hitler," saying it poses a threat to Austria's world image. Their lack of a sense of humor seems a lot more damaging. [Telegraph]
• While watching He's Just Not That Into You at home alone last night, Lily Allen had a Bridget Jones moment when she Tweeted, "I think I may be alone forever. Sad." [The Sun]
• Smug-marrieds Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz were recently photographed for NOH8, a campaign supporting efforts to overturn Proposition 8. [E!]
• A ruling from Malawi's highest court—on whether or not Madonna is allowed to adopt a 3-year-old Malawian girl—is expected Friday. [Yahoo]
• Perhaps because he knows the world wouldn't feel right if he went an entire week without being arrested, Pete Doherty was arrested last night. This time the charges were for drunk driving, driving without a license, and drug possession. [The Sun]
• Defending his seemingly drunk, early-morning live television interview yesterday, Danny DeVito said, "I was only trying to make a TV interview fun." [Radar]
• Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston did not have a secret hotel rendezvous, as reported on the cover of Star. Doye. [Us]
• Woody Allen ducked out of his own party for his latest film Whatever Works after only a few minutes. [Daily Beast]
• Kanye West admits that there is one person in the world who dresses better than he does: Lady Gaga. [NY Mag]
• Ticket sales for Les Miserables in London's West End have gone up 46% since Susan Boyle's star-making performance of "I Dreamed A Dream" during the first round of Britain's Got Talent. [Telegraph]
• A New Jersey woman— Jamie Czerniawski—who was once featured on the show Wife Swap stabbed her husband with a kitchen knife. She says it was in self-defense. Czerniawski is currently out on $75,000 bail. [AP]
• Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth are big Gossip Girl fans, and they like that the kids on the show get good grades. [NY Mag]
• Kevin Smith is taking his stand-up/Q&A show to Carnegie Hall. Silent Bob Speaks: An Evening With Kevin Smith is on June 17. [Newsweek]
• "I have to either have a baby or get engaged. I can't just be happy and have a great boyfriend and travel the world. Those things are not fantastic enough for people." - Jennifer Love Hewitt discussing how the tabloids view her relationship with boyfriend Jamie Kennedy. [E!]
• "I think women are afraid to say that they don't want children because they're going to get shunned. But I think that's changing too now. I have more girlfriends who don't have kids than those that do. And honestly? We don't need any more kids. We have plenty of people on this planet." - Cameron Diaz. [ONTD]

The Bombshell: Kim Kardashian rocks 50s glam like nobody's business - to say nothing of canary-yellow!


The Babydoll: Kate Walsh's mini looks like it was cribbed from someone in Our Gang. Make of this what you will.


Flaming June: Sofia Milos looks the way we imagine glamorous people in Monte Carlo look. This is why we cannot ever go to Monte Carlo.


She is Spartacus: What is the punishment for killing all the gladiator sandals in the world?


Lori Loughlin's Barbie-pink sheath is, for some reason, giving me a horrible flashback to something mysterious. I think it involves being humiliated at a birthday party.


What Say You about Kris Kardashian's jailbird special?

[Images via Getty]

[Philadelphia, May 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Miley Cyrus was photographed wearing a bikini in the Bahamas; the 16-year-old Tweeted a joke about her "jiggling thighs," but then went off on critics who called her fat:

"Talk all you want. I have my flaws. I'm a normal girl, there's things about my body I would change but stop with calling me f*t… People that are so okay with being so hateful disgust me and need to spend last time on a gossip website and more time a. reading your bible b. reading stories/articles about what happens when cyber abuse and name calling happens. Kids hurt themselves." The sage Disney star added: "oh and ps if your thighs don't jiggle go see a doctor. thanks" [Daily Mail]

• This report claims that Mariah Carey "threw a fit" in Cannes before the premiere of Precious because the director, Lee Daniels, was late. But an eyewitness says she was "in a great mood" at the after party and Daniels says, "I was not late." Another day, another faux drama. [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna, David Banda, Jesus Luz and Lourdes went to a Kabbalah service over the weekend, but no one seems to know if Madge and Jesus had a commitment ceremony or not. One thing is for sure: Lourdes going to the synagogue Kaballah center wearing a Ghostbusters t-shirt under her white button down = awesome. [Daily Mail]
• Bradley Cooper says the rumor about he and Jennifer Aniston dating is toro caca: "My mom loves it, but unfortunately it's not true." [People]
• Now that Cameron Diaz has split from Paul Sculfor, she was seen having a lunch date with Adam Levine from Maroon 5. He's on the herpes tree, right? [Daily Mail]
• Cynthia Nixon: Engaged to longtime girlfriend Christine Marinoni. [ET]
• Naomi Campbell is dating Russian billionaire Vladislav Doronin, whom this paper calls "the man who has tamed" her. Because, you know, wimminz is craycray without a good man. Here is an actual sentence from the piece: "Perhaps it is Vladislav's relaxed manner that has calmed her down. Or maybe Naomi, 38, finds the property tycoon's massive bank balance – said to be £1.5billion – a reassuring influence. One thing's for sure…she isn't attracted by his dodgy fashion sense, judging by those swim shorts – nor his 'man boobs.'" [Mirror]
• Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds and Betty White star in this hilarious Funny or Die video and frankly, Ms. White steals the show. Too bad it's basically viral marketing for The Proposal. [Funny Or Die]
• A few days ago, there was a "ruckus" at Paris Hilton's house; turns out someone prank called the heiress and told her that Tinkerbell was roadkill on Mulholland Drive. Paris freaked out; neighbors thought they heard an argument and called cops; they really want Paris out of the neighborhood. Sigh. [TMZ]
• Dustin Lance Black, who wrote Milk, is glad Miss California Carrie Prejean kept her crown: "What I think she does is help identify a population that we need to reach out to," he says. "The only way we could get through to some of these groups that vote against us on election day is by telling our stories. That process of education breaks down the stereotypes, the lies and the myths. I'm actually glad [Carrie] didn't lose her job." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Beyoncé is obsessed with Sex And The City and thinks of herself as a Carrie: "She was the person who held all the friendships together." [Mirror]
• "Amber Tamblyn and David Cross Make Out In Public." [Page Six]
• James Gray, who directed Two Lovers, says Gwyneth Paltrow asked him to inspect her breasts: "Gwyneth told me, 'I don't care about nudity, I'll give you everything you need. But I've had two children and I just don't think they look very good any more. Do me a favour, come into my trailer and I'll show them to you and if you think they look OK I'll do it.' So I marched in there and I told her they looked great." And! if you want to see one, nipple and all, click the link. [The Sun]
• Emily Blunt was supposed to be in Get Him To The Greek with Russell Brand, playing a "sex-crazed" pop star who beds Brand's character. But: "She got cold feet and pulled out. She's no prude but the stumbling block was that her character had far too many explicit love scenes." [Daily Express]
• Ricky Gervais wore pajamas to the white house. [The Sun]
• A reporter spoke to Chelsy Davy about her ex, Prince Harry, and writes this: "At a recent dinner the blonde South African, who dated Harry for four years, was asked why she had split with the Prince. She shot me a look of disdain and replied: 'Because he cheated on me.'" [Mirror]
• Is Fergie bisexual? She says: "Put it this way, I've experimented definitely, but I have never had a steady girlfriend." [The Sun]
• Farrah Fawcett's son, currently serving a jail sentence, was allowed to visit her on Friday — the same day Farrah's Story aired — to "say goodbye." [NY Daily News]
• There may be another cut of Farrah's Story in the works, emphasizing that her type of cancer is curable if caught early. [MSNBC]
• Michael Jackson has said he will not perform with Janet and the Jackson 5, but some concert promoter is still trying to make it happen, and if it doesn't, he'll sue MJ. [TMZ]
• Also, contrary to earlier reports, Michael Jackson does not have skin cancer. A spokesperson says the singer "doesn't have any diseases whatsoever." [Guardian]
• Ewan McGregor wants to get a pilot's license but frets that he won't be able to rack up flying hours: "What worries me about it is if I get the licence, what happens if I'm always going away? I don't like to fly when I'm making a movie, so I'm gonna be the most inconsistent pilot." [Daily Express]
• Amy Adams, who is engaged but "too busy" to plan a wedding, says she prepared for Night At The Museum 2 to be on IMAX screens by doing Pilates "as often as I could." [People]
• Rumer Willis guest stars tonight on Medium, alongside Angelica Huston; executive producer Glenn Gordon Caron was the one who gave Rumer's dad, Bruce Willis, his big break in Moonlighting. [AP]
• Oh, and Rumer Willis is a fan of Twitter: "It's a great place for starting a new era of people being less harsh or judgmental. You can really get to know people and everybody is just a human. Just because they have a different job doesn't make them any less a person than anybody else." [AP]
• A psychic who works as a producer on The Ghost Whisperer knew Jennifer Love Hewitt would never marry actor Ross McCall. Freaky! [Page Six]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre are holding "crisis talks" to try and saved their shattered marriage. Although she is in the Maldives and he is in Cyprus. [Daily Mail]
• this paper asks Kristin Scott Thomas: Have you kept in touch with Prince? I read that the song "Better With Time," on his last album, was an ode to you. She replies: "If it's true, it's fantastic. He came to see "The Seagull" [when Scott Thomas was acting on Broadway last year] and was completely wowed by it. A lot of people knew what we were doing and he just turned up. He is incredibly intelligent and talented - if he's written a song for me, it's just the most wonderful present. He's just brilliant, brilliant, brilliant at what he does. What's really great about getting older is that down the road you meet people you haven't seen for a long time and they're still doing something you really admire." Thomas's film debut was as a topless French socialite in Under The Cherry Moon. [NY Daily News]
• Mary Carey, a former patient of Dr. Drew Pinksy, has released a porn titled Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw. [TMZ]
• Did you know that Catherine Zeta-Jones used to be engaged to Hollywood producer Jon Peters — the same guy who's been dishing about Barbra Streisand? [Daily Mail]
• Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller are over, for real this time. Sienna is now "getting friendly" with Josh Hartnett. [Mirror]
• Jason Priestley and his wife rushed their 1-year-old daughter Ava from a Von's grocery store to the hospital on Saturday — no one knows what happened, but he kid is okay. When i was a kid i got my finger pinched by the wheel while sitting in the bottom of a Kroger shopping cart and the butcher wrapped it up with tape. True story. [TMZ]
• Larry King's 11th book is a memoir; the man has been married eight times to seven women. He's had a personal relationship with every president since Richard Nixon. He says: "If you're going to write an autobiography, you can't leave things out." [USA Today]
• There will be a Broadway musical based on First Wives Club. You're been warned. [Variety]
• William Hurt, Jessica Chastain and Vanessa Redgrave will appear in Ralph Fiennes' directorial debut, Coriolanus, which is a Shakespearean Roman tragedy but will be set in the current day as a political thriller. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Tilda Swinton will star in a film (based on a novel) called We Need to Talk About Kevin. She'll play a "smart, educated New York mother who does her best to raise a son she never wanted in the first place." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Liam Neeson and Jennifer Connelly will star in What's Wrong With Virginia, and the film will be the directorial debut of Dustin Lance Black, the Oscar-winning screenwriter of Milk. [Variety]
• Rita Wilson has sold a script; it's a comedy called Terms Of Embarrassment, and revolves around a middle-aged couple who wind up attending the same college as their son. Although she produced My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mamma Mia!, this is her first script sale. [Variety]
• Milla Jovovich will star alongside Robert De Niro and Edward Norton in the psychological thriller Stone. [Variety]
• Slumdog Millionaire child star Ayush Mahesh Khedekar got another job! He'll co-star in a Swiss film called Shyam's Secret. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• If you want to know what kind of tunes Quentin Tarantino uses as "music to kill Nazis by" in his new flick, Inglourious Basterds, click the link. [Page Six]
• Star Trek wasn't strong enough to take the top spot at the box office two weekends in a row: Angels & Demons beat the sci-fi flick with $48 mil. [NY Daily News]
• Sadie Frost is reportedly working on a tell-all book, in which she will dish about "infamous bedhopping sessions" involving ex-hubby Jude Law, Supergrass drummer Danny Goffey and his wife Pearl Lowe (mother of Daisy). [Mirror]
• "It was the pills I was taking; they had my mood really fucked up. I was already depressed and with the drugs it just became a vicious cycle of depression. And as if my drug problem wasn't bad enough, when Proof died it was like, 'Son of a bitch, what I am going to do now?' I went through a lot when he died. It was the worst time in my life. It just gave me a real legitimate excuse, in my head at least, to use drugs. I didn't care if my drug problem got worse at that point so I took more pills. And the more I said fuck it and took more pills, the higher my tolerance got. The higher my tolerance got, the more I needed those pills in my body just to feel normal and not feel sick. It's a vicious cycle. I got over it all last year. I ended up coming out of all that shit that was cluttering my mind and as I came up out of the haze from the pills and everything, shit started to get clearer." — Eminem, whose album, Relapse, drops tomorrow. [Guardian]
• "It feels a little too self-loathing to me. When I go back and listen to it… it just feels like I'm pissing and moaning about whatever. It sounds like in my head I feel like I have all these things to piss and moan about. And maybe I did, maybe I didn't, I don't know, but to actually bring that kind of shit to the forefront like that, I just don't agree with it." — Eminem on his last album, Encore. [Guardian]
• "One of the main connections I had with my character was that journey that you go through when you're about to have a baby. I could relate to the people giving you so much information that you didn't need or want or ask for and also having some of it be completely outrageous." — Maya Rudolph, on her film, Away We Go, which also stars John Krasinski. [UPI]
• "Some girls were mean. They made fun of me because I dressed differently. Nuns ran my school, so I was suppressing this part of myself for a long time. It wasn't until later that I realized my true passions were music, art and performance... definitely shock art." — Lady GaGa. [Daily Mail]
• "I don't know if I'm fashion-obsessed. I think when I'm working, yes, but when I'm at home I usually wear the same thing every day. I have my straight-leg jeans and a pair of Christian Louboutins and a little jacket and a white shirt. I get sent about 15 designer bags a month. I can only imagine how much they cost. Even I wouldn't buy some of them." — Beyoncé. [Mirror]
• Speaking of age, you turn 49 next week. You're famously candid about aging, especially for an actress. "They did tell me to shut up a long time ago: 'You mustn't say you're 35, say you're 30.' I thought, 'This is ridiculous! Why should I?' In English and American cinema, people my age are immediately categorized into either campy, kind of clowny middle-aged women making them appear much older than they really do look or you're playing someone's grandmother. In Europe, we have this fantastic tradition of really enjoying women over 40, of that not being a taboo at all - people like Catherine Deneuve. Look at [Pedro] Almodóvar, the way he films women with such care and affection. The filmmakers here just love women who've been around a bit longer, they make those wrinkles look beautiful. In English or American films, they just want you to be old and shut up." — Kristin Scott Thomas. [NY Daily News]

• Britney Spears is denying that she is pregnant with her third child after Ryan Seacrest announced on his radio show that a "reliable source" told him she was. "She's absolutely not pregnant," said Britney's spokesman.

• He added, "I have no idea where this ridiculous rumour has come from." [Mirror]
• Sam Lutfi has filed an appeal against the permanent restraining order that says he has to stay away from Britney Spears. "Never before in the history of the world has a restraining order been granted as a result of someone answering someone else's cries for help," said his lawyer. "The evidence showed it was Britney Spears reaching out to Mr. Lutfi and all he did was help her get a lawyer." [TMZ]
• Ugh. Britney Spears called the hotel she'll be staying at when her tour hits London to install a stripper pole in her suite. Asource said: 'Britney loves pole dancing, it is her new favourite work out. [The Daily Mail]
• Yesterday Star claimed that Jennifer Aniston is adopting a baby boy and even announced what Jen is planning to name him. The only problem is Us says the story is a total lie. [E!]
• Child and Family Services questioned Nadya Sulemen yesterday after a teacher reported her 4-year-old autistic son showed up to school with a black eye and bite marks. Her lawyer said the two-year-old twins may have caused the bruises, but then added, "Poor Aiden, he falls a lot. He jumps at noises and things and bump furniture and walls." [TMZ]
• Though Madonna won a court to make the U.S. the permanent home of her sons Rocco and David, she has decided to let Guy Ritchie have the boys for the summer while she is on tour. "Guy absolutely dotes on his children and can't wait to have them for a whole three months," says a source. "He is surprised and pleased that Madonna is being so generous - as she has at times been impossible." [The Sun]
• Leona Lewis's horse kicked her in the face, splitting her lip and knocking her to the floor. A source says, "Leona has been riding since she was a child and has never had a fear of horses. So she was really shaken up when the horse turned on her. Something startled the horse and it flicked its head back and smacked Leona full in the face." [Perez Hilton]
• Brady Green has been convicted of stalking Tyra Banks. He could be sentenced for up to 90 days in jail for stalking, harassment, criminal trespass and attempted aggravated harassment. [AP]
• The Albertina Museum in Austria got a call from a woman claiming to be Beyonce's manager, who said she was coming for a visit. The woman who showed up, "Was too thin for Beyoncé," says museum press officer Verena Dahlitz. "I thought she had probably lost weight." but they gave her a tour anyway. It turns out the woman was an impostor sent by a local radio station. [People]
• The marketing manager at the radio station said they hired a German model for the prank, "We'll call the Albertina to say we meant no harm," manager Andrea Hilber said. "It was a great museum tour." [Earth Times]
• Tina Meier was awarded TEEN LINE's 2009 Humanitarian Award for her work to stop cyber bullying following her daughter Megan Meier's suicide. "After I'd go out and speak before [the trial], I would be emotionally drained and cry for two hours, but now I've grown stronger," she says. "The pain of losing Megan will never go away, but it has lessened with the knowledge that I can help another child, another family." [People]
• Julianne Hough won't be returning do Dancing With The Stars for season 9. [People]
• The 67 breakfast trays and 80 gallons of coffee Hugh Jackman ordered for the 800 fans camping out at the Wolverine premiere came to $4308.87. [TMZ]
• Hugh Jackman says that he's more attached to how Wolverine is received because he is a producer. "This is how I saw the Wolverine character and I haven't been quiet or shy about saying I wanted to make this movie, so it becomes more personal. [If it fails] I can't lay the blame on anybody else," he said, adding, "It's true that by X-Men 3 the character was getting a little softer, so here we've made him a little darker, a little edgier and – if you'll forgive the American expression – more badass." [The Telegraph]
• Leighton Meester dyed her hair a slightly lighter shade of brown, which is supposed to mean something about her potential music career. [E!]
• Amanda Setton, who plays Penelope Shafai on Gossip Girl says of her the relationship between her co-stars Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr, "It fell into place quite quickly and we're all super excited for them ... They really balance each other. I'm just happy that they're happy." [People]
• Josh Duhamel will drive the pace car at the Indy 500 in May. [USA Today]
• Lisa Rinna has some good news about the swine flu: she thinks her entire family had it, but they survived. "I believe we all, except for myself, had the swine flu at our house," she said, "How do you know it's the swine flu? I don't know but we had all the symptoms." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Lisa Rinna says she no longer wants to appear on the new Melrose Place. "We had a moment, and it was real fun," Rinna says. "I've moved on. It's all good." [E!]
• At a panel discussion at New York City's Paley Center for Media the cast of Ugly Betty shared some spoilers about the upcoming season, which you can read here: [Entertainment Weekly]
• Jonathan Rhys Myers is denying reports that he cancelled some recent performances because he was in rehab for an alcohol problem. He says he spent time with a counselor, but "I just felt I needed time off and I didn't need to go to awards ceremonies. You can get slightly waylaid as an actor doing that sort of thing and I'm never that comfortable at them anyway." [The Daily Express]
• Kylie Minogue is in the market for a villa in Spain because she wants to be closer to her Spanish model boyfriend Andres Velencoso. "Kylie also wants to learn Spanish and has been following DVDs. But having a house in Spain will make things easier," said a source. [The Star]
• Anna Faris says she's not trying to lose weight for her wedding. "I am fattening it up!" she said. "Now that I have a man, I'm like, 'Oh, I don't have to try anymore! Now I can eat. We love to splurge at home. We love to cook. My fiancé is an incredible eater, and so he's really fun to feed, and it's great to share some wine and watch a movie. He's always like, 'Baby, don't lose that butt!'" [People]
• According to Jamie Kennedy, girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt's family loves him. "I go over to her mom's house to play charades,"said Kennedy, adding, "Jennifer's brother, Todd, gave me his blessing. That's pretty exciting!" [E!]
• Kara DioGuardi is one of People's most beautiful people, but she says she still has insecurities. "When I was trying to be an artist, people would say, 'Maybe you need to lose a little weight; your nose is too big.' When it's time to go on stage, I think, 'Shave [down] your nose!'" [People]
• Justin Long and Drew Barrymore were spotted out together, but they say they were just hanging out as friends. [Perez Hilton]
• Pink made a surprise appearance in Trafalgar Square to film a new T-Mobile ad and had the crowd sing along to songs like "Hey Jude" and "Hit Me Baby one More Time." [The Star]
• People are saying Julia Ormond is experiencing a comeback because she appeared recently in Benjamin Button, Che and Kit Kittridge: An American Girl. She says: "How I see it is that there was a point in time when I felt I needed to step away and then it's three years that I've been working more intensely. I balk at the term comeback. For me, an actor's life is something where you're going to have highs and lows, and you just hope to continue working. I see it as more of a continuation. The way movies work is that you don't have any control over when they are going to come out." [Reuters]

[Los Angeles, April 28. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Indian police say they have not found any evidence to support allegations that Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali's dad tried to sell her. [The Guardian, People]

• Three-year-old Mercy James is currently under the care of a nanny provided by Madonna. The director of the orphanage where the girl was staying says, "As Mercy's legal guardian, I authorize where she goes. She is staying with Madonna's people as a visitor. There is nothing wrong with that." [The Daily Express]
• As mentioned in Midweek Madness, British singer Marilyn is confirming long-standing rumors that he had a relationship with Gavin Rossdale in the '90s. "We were together five years, but it felt like 40," said Marilyn. [Perez Hilton]
• Beyonce's dad, Mathew Knowles is responding to the alleged (and now debunked) recording of his daughter singing off-key on The Today Show saying, "If no one took the time to listen to Beyonce sing 'America the Beautiful' and 'At Last' at the Neighborhood Ball for the first dance of President Obama and the First Lady, and they question Beyonce's vocal ability, they've gotta be an idiot. At 12 years into her career, the last thing someone should be questioning is her vocal ability. That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot. The vocals were obviously altered." [TMZ]
• Miss California Carrie Prejean's grandmother, Jeanette Coppola, says of Perez Hilton, "I don't know why that gay guy Perez was even judging a contest with a bunch of girls. That doesn't make any sense. He should be judging a Chippendale's contest." Perez responded: "Dear Jeanette, I was judging that contest because I am an American. I am a gay American. I am a Latino American. And I am an American who knows a thing or two about women in the spotlight." [The L.A. Times]
• Amy Winehouse's mother, Janis, says that Amy's ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil is trying to get a bigger divorce settlement. "It sounds like his hands are outstretched not only for him, but for this person he's made pregnant. To me it seems like a case of 'lets get our hands out for the money'," says Janis. [The Daily Express]
• Is it a coincidence that Audrey Tautou is starring in a new film about Coco Chanel and is also taking over for Nicole Kidman as spokeswoman for Chanel No. 5? [Yahoo]
• California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger may have a cameo in Terminator Salvation. [CNN]
• John Mayer is dating model/aspiring actress Scheana Marie Jancan, who is 23. [Star]
• This week's SNL host Justin Timberlake says he loves the show so much, "I would go as far to say if I didn't have a career that I felt so extremely lucky to have, I would see if I could get cast on the show." [USA Today]
• Denise Richards made a video for FunnyOrDie about how much everyone loves her "fun bags." It's like the Lindsay Lohan FOD video, with an extra dash of desperation. [Funny Or Die]
• OMG, Twilight fans: Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson went to the grocery store and a fellow shopper says they were holding hands. [E!]
• Chris Cornell says he likes Twitter because, "It's actually created an environment where I can answer simple questions that someone's probably had forever. And I don't mind answering them. And I can actually have conversations with fans that are quick, but still more meaningful than the typical situations you're put into. I've really liked it." [CNN]
• Shots were fired at Duane Chapman, better known as Dog the Bounty Hunter and a bail bondsmen when they tried to apprehend a Colorado man charged with attempted murder. No one was injured. [AP]
• A literary agency is suing Prince because he allegedly backed out of a book deal at the last minute and went behind their backs with another agency. [TMZ]
• Vanessa Hudgens will star in the film Beastly, an update of Beauty and the Beast. [Entertainment Tonight]
• Officials in Urbana, Ill. have decided to honor film critic Roger Ebert by putting a bronze plaque on the sidewalk in front of his childhood home. [AP]
• The website TheDirty.com posted pictures of Real Housewives star Gretchen Rossi riding topless in the passenger seat of a car. Previously, they posted compromising bathroom pictures. Now she's getting the police involved. [TMZ]
• Simon Cowell may quit American Idol when his contract runs out next year to start a U.S. version of the U.K. show The X Factor. [The Sun]
• Vivica A. Fox, host of The Cougar says she is currently single. "I am single right now," she says. "I am a different breed of chick. I like to go by the beat of my own drum. I haven't found a man that I want to answer to." [People]
• Salma Hayek and her husband François-Henri Pinault are holding a wedding celebration this weekend in Venice and guest including Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz have already arrived in Italy. [E!]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt says of dating co-star and long-time friend Jamie Kennedy, "I've heard about it – about being friends with somebody and it turns into something else and I've never really done that before and it's been great. He's hilarious and when you're with somebody funny, they're always funny and it's just great." [People]
• Billy Corgan, the only remaining member of The Smashing Pumpkins, is planning to charge subscribers $40 for 12 weekly 25-minute videos of him working in the studio. [The Guardian]
• Hugh Jackman says of the persistent rumors that he is gay, "I'd be happy to go and deny it, because I'm not. But by denying it, I'm saying there is something shameful about it, and there isn't anything shameful." [Parade]
• The Jonas Brothers will host Fox's Teen Choice 2009 Awards on August 11. [E!]
• Mariska Hartigay says she's feeling "Sooooo much better," since being hospitalized with a collapsed lung. "I've turned the corner and I'm feeling great. Really great," she said. [E!]
• Oh no! Mickey Rourke says he's going to slap Joel McHale, host of The Soup, in the face for making a joke about his late dog Loki. Hopefully Lou the chihuahua will help them work this out. [E!]
• Debra Messing said she met Robert De Niro at an audition. "My first film callback was for Casino, for the Sharon Stone role. I was 24 and had no money and was in school," she explained. "And so I went to an uptown hair place and said, ‘Make me look like Ivana Trump.' And I wore this very fancy - what I thought was a very fancy - black jumpsuit, and I was all ready to go, and I walked in and [De Niro] looked at me, and he's like, ‘What? You goin' to a prom?'" [NY Magazine]
• British singer Billy Bragg is criticizing a proposed EU law to double music copyright to 95 years saying, "This legislation offers the multinational record corporations a potential windfall of the size of the invention of the CD." [Yahoo]
• Kieran Culkin says he threw himself into work to try to deal with the death of his sister Dakota in December. "It's been a rough couple of months. I won't speak for anyone else, but I'm doing okay," he said. "That's the point of doing this interview and stuff. For a little while there, I wasn't going to do any press. I wasn't going to do Sundance. This was all a sort of getting-out-of-bed-and-start-walking thing." [The Daily Express]
• In a very lengthy interview Rosie O'Donnell talks about her children attending a Waldorf School, which involves signing a contract that they won't watch TV or use the computer. "I do it because I didn't have parents - my mother died and my father wasn't home. I had no one to talk to," she says. "I would much rather play rummy with my parent than sit in front of a video game, and when you don't have the TV as an option, you'd be surprised at how much you can interact with your own kids." [Just Jared]

The Good(ish):


Jennifer Love Hewitt may not care about reinventing the wheel, but she knows what formula works for her.


This is more "Unsinkable Molly Brown Crazy" than strictly "Good," but for some reason Julie Davis is just what the doctor ordered!


The Bad:


I'm not saying we haven't bought party dresses from Forever21 on a whim...we just need to all understand, like Lindsey Vuolo, that folks can tell when we do. Best case scenario, they'll admire our balls-out thrift!


Shannon James: see above, add enormous ruff.


So this one time my friend was at a movie and then she went into the bathroom and Leelee Sobieski and her friends, who'd been speaking English, switched to French so I she, the only other person there, couldn't understand them. So then when my friend left and had to brush past them, I she was all, "Pardon." Which has nothing to say to the matter. This would be kind of rad without the friendship bracelet and the Aerosoles.


What Say You?


Crystal Pierce: too, um, much? Too little? Or, in its way, awesome?

[Images via Getty]

• Gisele Bundchen married Tom Brady again, this time in Costa Rica. They first got hitched in the U.S. in February. These days you can't be a celebrity and not have two or three ceremonies. [Breitbart, Mirror]

• Oh! But! There was gunfire at Gisele's wedding: Bodyguards shot at paparazzi. No one was injured, but the back window on an SUV was shattered. Says one snapper: "I could have lost my life for the sale of some pictures that Gisele didn't want published. Are they insane?" [NY Post]
• Madonna reportedly "shrieked in horror" when she found out that a judge was denying her adoption of Mercy. [Pop Dirt]
• Madonna has left Malawi in her private jet and is headed for London. [Star Tribune]
• Madonna is said to be "in pieces." [Daily Mail]
• And now Madonna is back in the UK; Guy Ritchie met her at the airport. They didn't seem to speak to each other but he had a big hug for David. [Daily Mail]
• Rihanna is partying in Barbados — it's her grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. Her father says the singer is "back to herself." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, Chris Brown is due in court today where he will do some "intense" plea dealing. [NY Daily News]
• Over the weekend, news broke that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson had a huge fight and that Sam changed the locks at her house. Ouch! [TMZ]
• Lindsay was specifically asked not to attend a Charlotte Ronson party but showed up anyway. [Socialite Life]
• Did Lindsay go on a Twitter tirade? This report says she wrote: "Being cheated on does wonders to you. I'm doing this publicly because u&ur friends call People [magazine]. So you win, you broke my heart. Now go away. I loved you." So wait, Sam cheated? Also, not so long ago, you couldn't get LL to admit she was IN a gay relationship; now she announces the details to the whole world??? [This Is London]
• Farrah Fawcett, who has been battling cancer for almost three years, is in a hospital in L.A. [Reuters, RadarOnline]
• Meanwhile, her son, Redmond O'Neal, was busted for drugs yesterday. In the parking lot of a prison. Not a joke. Also, Ryan O'Neal says Farrah just went in for a procedure and "is not at death's door." [NY Post, EW]
• This report says the end is near for Farrah Fawcett. [MSNBC Scoop]
• This paper claims that doctors fear the worst for Farrah. [NY Post]
• Scandalous: Jennifer Aniston was seen smiling and laughing and generally having fun. [Gatecrasher]
• Dear Beyoncé, the bangs and the heels are understandable, but the suspenders? [Daily Mail]
• Paris Hilton says of Doug Reinhardt: "We're best friends. It's not like we just met. We've known each other over the past year. I was in a relationship before and we reconnected. I'm really in love and really happy. He's going to be my husband." Does that sound like a threat? [E!]
• There's a sneak peak of season five of The Hills up, and apparently the big question is whether Heidi and Lauren will reconcile. But the even bigger question is: Does anyone still care? [E!]
• Speaking of The Hills, Lauren Conrad's new guy, Kyle Howard, wants to marry her, so he took her mom and dad out for lunch — and picked up the tab. [Star]
• Ryan Gosling has a band, and the band has a video, and it's here. [Pop Sugar]
• Oh, Christ: After enduring all kinds of shit for those bikini pictures, now this headline from the Daily Fail: "Has Jennifer Love Hewitt Lost Too Much Weight?" [Daily Mail]
• Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher are shooting a flick called Five Killers and it appears that they kiss. [Socialite Life]
• "How Poor Suri Cruise Has Become A Style Victim At Just Three Years Of Age." [Daily Mail]
• Behold: Victoria Beckham in enormous shoulder pads. [Daily Mail]
• Gossip Girl's Blake Lively and Penn Badgley have left the country to vacation in Thailand and you have not. [Just Jared]
• It's not that Serena Williams can't find a pair of bikini bottoms that fit, it's that her derriere is awesome and will not be held down! [Daily Mail]
• Anna Kournikova took part in a triathlon in Miami on Sunday. [Daily Mail]
• Ooh, Seal will sing the National Anthem at the Red Sox/Tampa Bay Rays game today! [The Star]
• You may find this hard to believe, but Gary Coleman regrets doing a movie titled Midgets vs. Mascots. He has a YouTube rant explaining his mortgage made him do it. [Page Six]
• Possible new couple: 50 Cent and Ciara. [Page Six]
• Bai Ling wants you to know that Bai Ling never had sex with Mickey Rourke. [Page Six]
• A square-faced Jack Black slays demons with his guitar in a new video game called Brutal Legend. Check out his heart-shaped soul patch! [Wired]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are not only back on, but looking for a "love nest" in Santa Monica. Megan wants ocean views because "she loves the beach and spotting dolphins." [Star Magazine]
• The series finale of ER did okay, ratings-wise, but not as well as Cheers or Friends. [AdAge]
• Miley Cyrus' wardrobe in the Hannah Montana movie is "clean cut, wholesome and decidedly demure." Are times changing?!?! [LA Times]
• Between Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift and Julianne Hough, women ruled at the Academy of Country Music Awards. Do you have to be blonde and toothy, or is it just a coincidence? [Yahoo News ia AP]
• Christina Ricci will star in a "porn-tinged comedy" co-written by Adam Sandler. She'll play "an innocent girlfriend." [Hollywood Reporter]
• Jennifer Hudson's fans worry about her and can't stop talking about how they hope she doesn't cry while she is singing. [Washington Post]
• Jennifer Hudson says, "I'm fine, I'm happy." [USA Today]
• By now you must have heard: Demi Moore saved a suicidal woman's life via Twitter? [The Star]
• Brandon Michael Vayda, who plays Mike on 90210, pulled some guy out of a taxi and "beat the living crap out of him" outside of a nightclub. [TMZ]
• Alex DeSilva, a choreographer from So You Think You Can Dance, was arrested Saturday and charged with four counts of sexual assault. All of his victims were his students at the time. [E!]
• Fox's Roger Friedman wrote about the leaked flick Wolverine (which the FBI is investigating) in his column, saying, "It took really less than seconds to start playing it all right onto my computer." Now he's been fired. Whoops! [NY Times]
• Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr sang together for the first time in years at a benefit to introduce children to transcendental meditation. And yes, David Lynch runs the foundation in question. [Breitbart]
• Jeff Beck, Metallica, Run-DMC, Bobby Womack and Little Anthony and the Imperials were inducted into the hall of fame over the weekend. [NY Times]
• Fast & Furious sped away with a $72.5 million box office, which is huge. Huge. [Breitbart]
• Thousands lined the streets of London and Essex at the funeral of Jade Goody, which this paper calls "Princess Diana-style." [Daily Mail]'
• Jade Goody's family says they don't want her grave to be a shrine, "trampled by strangers." [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which C-list Hollywood stud was so drunk and desperate that he showed up at the home of an L.A. gossip reporter and demanded a booty call? Guess what, folks? She accepted!" [Gatecrasher]
• "There's a time for celebration and I partake, sure. But you know, it's important not to let that become too big of a distraction. The more you have access to, the harder it is to remain focused. You know what, I do not want to fall victim to that, it's too easy and too often done. It's out of style anyway, I think too many people have done it before me, I'm not going to. It's uncool, yeah. I think the rebellious thing to do would to actually be successful." — Zac Efron on drinking and the Hollywood party scene. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I'm excited to not have everything scheduled in advance. I can just call up a friend and grab lunch. I can wear white when I want to — I could never do that on camera. I can go backless!" — Lauren Conrad, on her plans for her life after The Hills. [LA Times]
• "It's kind of like a self-aware observational comedy of the simplest thing in the world, which isn't so simple." — Bob Saget on his new show, Surviving Suburbia. [NY Daily News]
• "People will always say that I'm over-exposed and that's what I want, all this attention. That's not it. What I love is the art of it all." — Miley Cyrus. [NY Daily News]
• "Somebody said to me 'Well, you know what? You just got such a big mouth and you just know how to talk to people. Did you ever think about runnin' for president?' I said 'I think we've had enough boobs in the White House.'" — Dolly Parton. [CBS News]
• "Some of my best compliments are on a $15 Ross dress. Ross gets you a weird look, but I've rocked two or three good pieces from there over the years." — Rosario Dawson. [New York Mag]
• "Well, I certainly got hit on a lot. And a lotta men thought I was as silly as I looked, I guess. You know, I look like a woman but I think like a man. And in this world of business, that has helped me a lot. Because by the time they think that I don't know what's goin' on, I then got the money, and gone." — Dolly Parton. [CBS News]

• Sarah Palin isn't smiling with her eyes over Levi Johnston's appearance on the Tyra Banks Show, where he discussed his relationship with Palin's daughter, Bristol. Palin has released a statement accusing Johnston of "lies."[People]

• "Bristol did not even know Levi was going on the show. We're disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention, and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship," the statement reads, "Bristol's focus will remain on raising Tripp, completing her education, and advocating abstinence," the statement continues. "It is unfortunate that Levi finds it more appealing to exploit his previous relationship with Bristol than to contribute to the well being of the child. Bristol realizes now that she made a mistake in her relationship and is the one taking responsibility for their actions." [People]
• As Margaret reported last night, Rihanna is back home in Barbados. Her father says she's doing well: "Of course, I'm happy to have her home. Things are good with her," Ronald Fenty says, "She is doing really, really well. She's back to herself again." [USWeekly]
• Is Chris Noth too busy for the Sex and the City sequel? [E!]
• Uh-oh: a nanny claims that Robert DeNiro and his wife owe her $40,000 in back pay. [PageSix]
• No Doubt will be making an appearance on the Today show next month. [NME]
• "I call them my Testosterousers, in an attempt to make them more masculine."-Russell Brand on his skintight leather pants. [TimesOnline]
• Vanessa Hudgens is proud of her role model status: "In Hollywood there are a lot of trouble makers and it is all that kids see," Hudgens says, "And the fact that there are people like me and Ashley Tisdale who are good kids and the fact that they can and do look up to us, makes me very proud. It's an honor but quite daunting at the same time." [ShowbizSpy]
• Watchmen star Jackie Earle Haley will be playing Freddie Krueger in the upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street reboot. [E!]
• "I like America. When I go overseas I spend a lot of time defending my country. America shouldn't work. There are 300 million people. Every day it hasn't evolved into people eating each other and race war. It's like 'OK! Let's count that as a success'."-Matt Stone[Guardian]
• Josh Hartnett has been released from the hospital and is doing fine, according to his rep, Susan Patricola: ""They are running tests, which take time to get back and it's a process of elimination. They just have to figure out what it is." [People]
• Jamie Kennedy and Jennifer Love Hewitt are closer than ever after Hewitt helped Kennedy recover from kidney stones. The two were spotted at a restaurant being very lovey dovey: "She was very sweet to him, ordered for him and made sure he drank plenty of water, says a source, "Jamie put his arm around Jennifer in a loving way and pulled her closer to him. It was obvious that he appreciated that Jennifer took care of him." [People]
• Ben Affleck accidentally taught his daughter, Violet, to swear in German: "All the food is coming, spilling towards me. And I go, 'Shhhhh... and I turn it around and say 'sheisse'. Why I came up with that word, I don't know, I have not even been to Germany, but I guess that's a German swear word in my subconscious.I thought, 'I've averted disaster.' I look over at her and she says, 'What's sheisse? Why did you say sheisse?' I said, 'It's just a bad word, and we don't say that.' As soon as I told her it was a bad word, I was like, 'You idiot.' So she just goes, sheisse, sheisse, sheisse, sheisse, over and over again. It turned into a total nightmare for me. My daughter's swearing in German." [DailyExpress]
• Guy Richie says he's "saddened" that Madonna's adoption application was denied: "'I fully supported Madonna in her decision to apply for this adoption, and I am saddened that her application has been rejected," Richie says, "She is motivated only by being a caring parent who seeks to share some of the advantages and opportunities that her life has given her. This time it did not work out, but there will be other opportunities and I wish her well in them. She is a great mum." [DailyMail]
• "I'm as romantic as anyone. I find the clichés of romance don't appeal to me particularly, I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day, for instance, because I think the idea of an appointed day to give roses is a bit facile.
  I think that if romance is simply going from thrill to thrill, whether it's from partner to partner or from poem to poem or from song to song, then that's something I'd be quite sceptical about."- Colin Firth[DailyMail]
• Demi Moore reportedly saved a woman's life after calling attention to a suicidal tweet she spotted on Twitter. "Everyone I was very torn about responding or retweeting that woman's post but felt uncomfortable just letting it go," Moore wrote on her Twitter, "Thanks everyone for reaching out to the San Jose PD i am told they are aware and no need to call anymore. I do not know this woman... And if it is a joke it is not funny and nor is this an appropriate outlet for such a serious matter. Time for us to move on." [TheSun]

[Los Angeles, March 29. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]