• George Clooney reportedly went on a date with Madonna after the singer split from Guy Richie, though the date was not a success, as Madonna kept making bad jokes and George "could not wait to get out of there." [ShowbizSpy]

• A source claims that Elin Nordegren is planning to divorce Tiger Woods and seek full custody of the couple's two children: "She can't believe Tiger's behaviour," says a "friend" of Nordegren, "He says he wants to save the marriage but he's not doing anything about it. He's hiding out like a child and refusing to go to rehab to get the treatment he needs. She's so mad at him, she's flipping out." [Mirror]
• Woods allegedly hid his extramarital affairs with the help of a team of sorts, including his caddy, his former manager, and his current agent, Mark Steinberg, who, according to the New York Post, "helped kill a National Enquirer story about his alleged romps with pancake-house hostess Mindy Lawson by offering Woods as a cover to sister publication Men's Fitness." [PageSix]
• Woods' friends claim that they warned him about his behavior, to no avail: ""A lot of us who love him saw this coming," says a friend, "We said, 'You've got to be careful. It's really getting too raggedy.' In his own mind, he may not have thought he was doing anything wrong. He was under a lot of pressure. He thought he was just letting off steam. He thought of it as a perk." [NYDN]
• And even Tiger's mother, Kutilda Woods, is angry with her son: ""[This] was devastating to her," says a source, "She likes [Tiger's wife] Elin [Nordegren] and adores her grandchildren. She's worried about them. She doesn't want to see them hurt." [NYPost]
• Possibly breaking the hearts of 12-year-olds across the universe, Kevin Jonas married his fiance, Danielle Deleasa at a castle on Long Island last night. [People]
• Kate Hudson "put her heartbreak behind her" by hosting a Christmas party; Kate Beckinsale, Tobey Maguire, Liv Tyler, and Fergie were all in attendance. [DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, Kate Gosselin apparently wants to put her heartbreak behind her by competing on Dancing With The Stars, even though she says she "so cannot dance." [Extra]
• "I love the [female]-empowering message that it has. If someone cheats on you or breaks up with you or does something awful or wrong to you, you [want to] sit there and cry and feel sorry for yourself and eat ice-cream and wear sweat pants and [have] your girlfriends come over. It's like no, let's not get it twisted, I'm going to put on my good shoes and my good dress and bye. You're going to watch this (slaps her backside) walk right out of the house."-Jennifer Lopez on her single, "Louboutins." [FoxNews]
• Lindsay Lohan decided to pose in a fishnet stocking bodysuit, for some reason. [NewsoftheWorld]
• Lady GaGa also posed recently, taking "futuristic" pics with famed photographer David LaChappelle. [DailyMail]
• Avatar started out strong at the box office on Friday, taking in an estimated 27 million dollars. [EW]
• Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi had an "issue" with a bathroom attendant at a club called Marquee, "because she used the hairspray and perfume and tipped the attendant 75 cents. She got offended when the attendant respectfully declined the tip," according to a source, "She's a total diva, but the other guys were very nice and had quite a few attractive girls following them around." [PageSix]
• "What I wanted to be was a musician, and play the piano in bars. I wanted to go to Nice and play on the beach in a tuxedo. I thought that was cool. It's such a romantic idea. All you have is your one tuxedo. That was my dream job growing up. I haven't written any songs for a while though."-Robert Pattinson [ShowbizSpy]
• The FBI is set to release Michael Jackson's classified files to the public on Monday; the files include information gathered during Jackson's 1994 and 2003 child molestation cases. [TMZ]
• Former Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson, who just had a baby last week, says she and her husband hope to have a big family: "We definitely want another kid right away, because we want the two kids to be close in age. We want four, but you know, we are taking it one step at a time. We're concentrating on our first child and seeing where things go from there." [OK]
• Susan Boyle's fans are pushing for the singer to record the next James Bond theme song. [DailyExpress]
• Simon Cowell is rumored to be leaving American Idol in order to host a U.S. version of The X Factor, starting in 2011. [WashingtonPost]
• "I'll play arenas. But it's about the story. What do I want my fans to say when they're 45 and talking to their daughters? I want them to say, 'I saw her four times, and before I knew it she was selling out the Garden, and every time I saw her she was ahead of her time, and she never disappointed us, and she never took too much money from us, and she always put out great music and great fashion, and I always had the time of my life.' That's what's important to me. It's not about me, it's about them!"-Lady GaGa [LATimes]
• "Sex scenes, love scenes. Yes, at this age it's unusual for somebody to do a love scene, to be making love. Yeah, that is unusual. But that is just how benighted we are. Because, you know, we still are alive. It's you and I, baby. It's authentic. The whole idea that you have to look a certain way and be a certain age to earn love is ridiculous. We love what we love. It doesn't matter what shape it is. It's thrilling to see real people on screen. The thing that broke that little barrier for me was Julie & Julia, where everyone said, "Isn't it remarkable that a tall overweight woman and a short bald man could be in love?" Well, yeah? You know what I mean? You're alive."- Meryl Streep [TimesOnline]

• Are there more kids in Sarah Jessica Parker's future?

Maybe adopted ones? In this lengthy interview, she says of having twins via a surrogate: "Matthew and I were looking at a variety of ways to expand our family. And I wouldn't say that we are done either. We will keep exploring different ways to have a family I think." In addition, her son, an Obama supporter, is upset with the President: "He has expressed pride in Obama, although he has also expressed to me that he is unhappy at how much Obama is on television." [The Daily Beast]

• Nicole Kidman needs to cool it when it comes to powdering her nose. [NY Daily News]
• Peaches Geldof was in a high-speed car crash in California yesterday while on her way to Disneyland; she and her friends were not hurt, but the front of the car was, in her words, "totally mangled." [The Sun]
• Anne Hathaway was also involved in a car accident yesterday — her boyfriend Adam Shulman was driving and she was in the passenger seat when they hit a cyclist. Paramedics were called, but no one was seriously injured; no one went to the hospital. [Radar Online]
• Kate Hudson — who has been upset about her breakup with Alex Rodriguez — was seen chatting with Madonna, who also dated A-Rod, at the Nine after-party. Also, when Jay-Z's "Empire State Of Mind" — the unofficial Yankees anthem — came on, "Kate looked at her mom and did a fake scream," says a source. [Page Six]
• This column about the Nine after-party begins, "There's sure to be gossiping when you put a lot of females in one room…" And when you put men in one room, it's what? A brain trust? Anyways: Penelope Cruz has a ring that MIGHT mean she's engaged to Javier Bardem. Fergie was supportive of Kate Hudson, and made a speech about her "integrity" and "loyalty." And! Josh Duhamel, recently accused of hooking up with a stripper, was seen "doting" on Fergie. [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna and Tiger Woods have something in common: They went to the same sports-medicine specialist… who was arrested in October for smuggling uman growth hormone across the Canadian border. [Page Six]
• We heard this earlier, but here it is again: Elin Nordegren and her kids will spend the holidays in Sweden without Tiger Woods. [People]
• It's being reported that Elin Nordegren met with Los Angeles celebrity attorney Sorrell Trope — who has represented Nicole Kidman, Britney Spears and Cary Grant — to renegotiate the terms of a prenuptial agreement and file for divorce. [NY Post]
• What would Charles Barkley say if he could talk to his friend Tiger Woods? "I would tell him I love him. I have been disappointed with the people who are around him. They have got him so locked up. I know myself and Michael [Jordan have] been trying to get to him and we just want to tell him: 'Hey, man, we love you and you are our friend.' You need to know in times like this you have got friends. I am so pissed that they have got him holed up. He is a 33-year-old grown man. He did something wrong to his wife. He has to answer to her and his kids. That's it. But this notion that he is hiding out ... I mean he hasn't shown his face in almost two weeks." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Courtney Love is banned from contacting her daughter, Frances Bean Cobain. [Page Six]
• Vanity Fair fashion and style director Michael Roberts was spotted doing a photo shoot with Jesus Luz in Ipanema, and yes, Jesus is basically bare-chested, why do you ask? [Made In Brazil]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Sofia Coppola is expecting her second child. [Gatecrasher via People]
• So, this was inevitable, I guess, but Snooki from Jersey Shore is in the gossip columns now. More precisely, this is an "exclusive" from her: She's been fired from her job. "I was a receptionist at a corporation," Snooki says. "I was getting good money, like $13 an hour. I got fired when I asked for time off to go to L.A." there's some more info about how The Situation got advice from Kristin Cavallari and how JWoww is still dating the same guy she was when she moved into the house at the link. [E!]
• Uh, Jersey Shore beauty secrets. [NY Daily News]
• Sandra Bullock was named Entertainment Weekly's Hollywood MVP, and says: "Being a movie star is a joke… It's all such a crapshoot." [Gatecrasher]
• Hugh Grant is truly irresistible. Everything he utters in this interview is ridiculously charming. Here's him talking about his father: "I play golf with him once a week, and he was puffing and panting. He was very unfit. I sent him to my very expensive trainer. He hasn't been to a gym since 1961. He didn't even have any gym clothes. We bought him some online. After two visits, he refused to wear them anymore and said, 'They're nonsense.' Now, he goes to the gym in corduroy trousers, a shirt and a cravat, I promise you. He's there, walking along on the machine." On Sarah Jessica Parker: "I hate almost everyone, and I really like her… Who would have thought a girl that size could eat that much? I've never seen anything like that in my life. She's half-girl, half-locust. Same with facts. She loves facts, the dullest facts. 'So you drive an Audi. What's special about that engine?' She remembers every detail." Also, he almost quit acting: "Doing Music and Lyrics, I had all these panic attacks. They're awful. I freeze like a rabbit. Can't speak, can't think, sweating like a bull. When I got home from doing that job, I said to myself: 'No more acting. End of films.'" [USA Today]
• Jennifer Lopez taped her performance for So You Think You Can Dance? yesterday. Marc Anthony and the kids were in the audience, watching. [Page Six]
• Tinsley Mortimer: Seen making out with Constantine Maroulis. [Page Six]
• At the link, Charlyne Yi talks about which movie this year made her weep, her harp lessons, Michael Cera, weird Facebook messages, and music: "It's funny, I think I've been living in a bubble for so many years, and I listen to the same music that I did when I was maybe 8. Like, I still listen to the song How I Will I Know by Whitney Houston." [Pop Candy]
• George Clooney is kind of in the middle of a coffee commercial war. [AdAge]
• Paula Abdul regrets leaving American Idol. A source says: "She was confident she would get her own talk show and even a gig performing live on the Las Vegas strip - none of which has materialized. It's going to get worse in January when Idol is everywhere with Ellen sitting in her seat." [MSNBC via Pop Eater]
• "EXCLUSIVE: Brady Madness! Crazed Girlfriend Ran To Chris Knight After Attacking Barry Williams." [Radar Online]
• Dan Rather says he's spent over $2 million of his own money in his ongoing lawsuit with CBS. [NY Post]
• George Stephanopolous replaced Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America and the ratings are meh. [Page Six]
• Cop drama Southland is moving from NBC to TNT, and producer Ann Biderman thinks it was more of a cable series to begin with. [NY Daily News]
• "John Lennon's Lost Six-Hour Interview." [Guardian]
• Q. How has James Cameron changed since you worked together on Aliens 25 years ago? Sigourney Weaver: "He's a different man. When we worked on Aliens we were in England and the crew was like, 'Who's this young upstart? Where's Ridley Scott?' He kept setting up screenings of The Terminator for them, and they wouldn't show up. Over the course of the shoot, they learned who they were dealing with. Jim's actually a nice guy. He's demanding - he's going to make you bring your 200 percent game - but he's never mean and he's harder on himself than anyone else. All these years later, he's more settled, he's happily married, he does this because he loves it, and he can get what he wants and create what he wants." [EW]
• "He encouraged me to be a storyteller. What parent tells their kid not to be a doctor?" — Up In The Air writer/director Jason Reitman, who dropped out of medical school, on his father, noted producer Ivan Reitman. [Page Six]
• "It's come full circle in many respects. I had a lot of bitterness and anger . It wasn't until the writing of this song that I really forgave my father. I realized if I continued to feel that anger and bitterness towards my dad, I would have a constant cloud hanging over my head . Writing is therapy for me. It has also allowed me to embrace dad and the Beatles." — Julian Lennon has forgiven his father John Lennon, 30 years after John's death. The song is called "Lucy" and is based on his recently deceased childhood friend Lucy Vodden, who was also the inspiration for "Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds." [Daily Express]
• "Part of my business is looking good. But I'm not the monster I used to be in the exercise department." — Jennifer Lopez. [Gatecrasher via Allure]
• "I'm not a prude at all. I'm delighted for anyone to use any kind of language they want to use. To be off-color. To work blue. Honestly, I have no objections. I love that people have and use all the choices in the world. I just have not for many, many, many, many, many years been someone who uses salty language. I don't think it suits me. I'm not comfortable with it. Can you picture me using the F-word? Listen: 'What the fuck!' See? It doesn't work for me. It sounds silly in my mouth." — Sarah Jessica Parker. [The Daily Beast]
• "I was smoking at a club one night, and this girl walked up to me and said, 'I can't believe you're smoking after playing someone in a hospital all this time!' I couldn't for the life of me figure out who she thought I was. [Then] she leaned over and said, 'I think your best work was in Garden State.'" — Justin Long was not flattered that someone thought he was Zach Braff. [Gatecrasher]
• "What really resonated with me was how wonderful that commitment that [Victoria and Albert] had to each other was, and how important that is… People quit on jobs. They quit on marriages. They quit on school. There's an immediacy of this day and age that doesn't lend itself to being committed to anything." — Emily Blunt, star of Young Victoria. [LA Times]

• Marilyn Manson revealed in an interview that he and Evan Rachel Wood are back together. Evan — When a guy violently beats and murders your look-alike in a music video, that's a deal breaker.

• In an interview with the music site Metal Hammer, Manson volunteered: "I'm not afraid to be me... Sometimes you feel awkward being what you're best at, you feel like you have to be something new. But I think that a lot of people will agree that me being me at my best [is what] I need to be. I think that that really paid off because I'm back with Evan, that's kind of breaking news, you can be the first one to say that." ? [Metal Hammer]
• Rachel Uchitel, who initially denied that she had an affair with Tiger Woods, announced that she was holding a press conference today to "make a statement about [her] relationship with Tiger Woods," but then cancelled it at the last minute due to what her lawyer called "unforeseen circumstances." [Extra]
• Rachel Uchitel canceled the press conference after a night of phone calls between her team and Tiger Woods' representatives. Uchitel reportedly has hundreds of messages from their five-month relationship. [Radar Online]
• Some sources say Tiger Woods offered Rachel Uchitel money for her silence, but TMZ says "we have no knowledge one way or the other." [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods' childhood friend, who is now the president of Tiger Woods Design, bought a plane ticket for Rachel Uchitel to go to Australia last month for a rendez-vous with Tiger. [TMZ]
• Jaimee Grubbs says that during one of her encounters with Tiger Woods he "told me he had done a workout and he was going to do another workout for legs... I said, 'For someone who works out a lot, you sure have small calves!' I remember him giving me the biggest death look. He told me he was very insecure about the size of his calves. He said, 'I can't grow calves.' And I was like, 'Okay, sorry!'" [Us]
• According to new audio tapes released by the Florida Highway Patrol, Tiger Woods was snoring when his neighbor, Jarius Lavar Adams, approached him after his car accident last week. Adams said Woods was bleeding a little from his lower lip but did not smell of booze. [TMZ]
• Another woman has come forward claiming she had an affair with Tiger Woods, bring the grand total to four. "Jenny" called the Bubba The Love Sponge radio show and claimed that she's been seeing him on and off for a year and can prove it because he has an identifiable mole on his left butt cheek. [Perez Hilton]
• Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood was arrested in London last night on suspicion of assaulting his 21-year-old girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova and released on bail. His rep says: "I can confirm that there was an incident last night and that Ronnie Wood was arrested ... we have no further statement to make at this time." [TMZ]
• Ronnie Wood's 23-year marriage to Jo Wood collapsed after he began dating Ivanova. Their divorce was finalized last month. [AP]
• Sources say Ronnie Wood slapped Ekaterina Ivanova to the ground, then pulled her hair outside a restaurant at 11:30 pm and a restaurant worker called the police. An eyewitness says: "I think they were arguing about her not wanting to go home. He hit her and she was screaming that she didn't want to go with him." [The Mirror]
• It looks like Gwyneth Paltrow will sing again in her new film. She's playing a fallen country-western singer in the new film Love Don't Let Me Down, which is being produced by Tobey Maguire and also stars Tim McGraw and Leighton Meester. [Perez HIlton]
• Johnny Depp is in talks to star as Pancho Villa in the biopic Seven Friends of Pancho Villa and the Woman With Six Fingers. [Variety]
• Roman Polanski has been moved from jail to an undisclosed location for "security reasons and personal protection" according to Swiss officials, but is still expected to be taken to his chalet in Gstaad tomorrow. [AP]
• A judge has dismissed Jordan's Scott's copyright infringement claim against Stephenie Meyer because he says Breaking Dawn and Scott's 2006 vampire novel The Nocturne have little in common and the "characters in the two works are vastly different." [Publishers Weekly]
• Hayden Panettierre, who is 20, was spotted carrying a case of Coors Light into her friend's house. [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Lopez says she has a "bruised bone" from slipping during her performance at the AMAs. She told Ellen DeGeneres, "What happened was one of the dancers' backs was slippery from sweat and lights and everything. We never bargained for that because they always had T-shirts on in rehearsal. So they were barebacked, didn't have shirts on for the performance, and when I stepped on their backs my feet got wet. So when I landed. it just slipped from under me." [People]
• Nas was arrested for DUI near his home in Georgia in September. [TMZ]
• Nas' DUI case was dismissed because there wasn't enough evidence. Though he admitted to the police that he'd been smoking pot, the drug test "came back negative for drugs, including marijuana." [TMZ]
• Lily Allen wrote on her blog, "I've had laryngitis and bronchitis for about two months and I've just been doing so many gigs and just not resting. I have been to an ear, nose, and throat specialist a few times and they stuck a big camera down my throat. It's not very nice." [Daily Star]
• The National Board of Review's 2009 awards were announced today. Up In The Air was named Best Film, Clint Eastwood won Best Director for Invictus. Precious was not on their list of the year's 10 best films. [The Wrap]
• Julianne Hough may be dating Kings of Leon bassist Jared Followill. An eyewitness reports from a bar in Nashville: "They were very affectionate, just hanging out at the table. They stayed for about an hour and enjoyed karaoke. None of them sang, but they just hung with their group. Only a few people noticed she was even there. They didn't make a spectacle of it." [Perez Hilton]
• Mark Wahlberg says there are two seasons left of Entourage on HBO then, "We'll see, there could be more. But then, a movie." [Showbiz 411]
• MTV renewed The Hills for a sixth season... but is anyone still watching? [Perez Hilton]
• Will Smith has put production of Hancock 2 on hold to "spend more time with his family." [Perez Hilton]
• GLAAD released a statement supporting ABC's decision to ban Adam Lambert from Jimmy Kimmel Live and the network's New Year's Eve special. GLAAD says Lambert's performance at the AMA differed "greatly" from rehearsals and "It would appear that the kiss between Adam Lambert and his keyboardist did not factor into ABC's decision ... ABC has a history of positive gay and transgender inclusion that includes featuring kisses between gay and lesbian couples on-air." [TMZ]
• Mick Hucknall of Simply Red is suing his neighbor over the rights to hunt deer, ducks and other birds at their rival game lodges in Ireland. [AP]
• Cynthia Nixon said of the failure of the New York senate to pass a marriage equity bill, "The fight for justice is always long and hard, and while this vote was of course extremely disappointing, we now know with certainty who our friends are and who our enemies are. And, trust me, we won't forget it at election time. It's really a terrible shame that many of our legislators could not bring themselves to support a simple matter of fairness and equality, and have betrayed the majority of New Yorkers who believe same-sex marriage should be legalized." [Advocate]
• Penelope Cruz says, "The musical number [in Nine] had to be sexy... and thinking about the Pink Panther would help get me in the mood ... When I was climbing the ropes to the ceiling, all I could think about was the Pink Panther." [People]
• Penelope Cruz says her relationship with Pedro Almodóvar, with whom she has made four films, has "been growing and evolving gradually. Right now, we get to the set, we look at each other, and I know if he slept the night before, if he's in a bad mood or in a good mood. He is the same with me-he looks at me and he knows what I am thinking. So that makes it easier. But at the same time, he's a very big presence, so I don't get less nervous when I'm working with him now because we are friends-I get maybe even more nervous because I'm always worried about disappointing him." [Interview Magazine]
• Peter Jackson says of his new film The Lovely Bones getting mixed reviews, "The film is a film that we're very proud of, and it's not a film that everyone likes, but I don't know what film is. You know, there's no such thing as perfection; you can't make a film that everybody in the world is going to like, so it just represents their view. The film is about a teenage girl - in some respects, we made it for teenagers." [N.Y. Magazine]

• Whitney Port isn't in Kell On Earth. And on Lauren Conrad: "We still keep in touch on a friendship level. But in terms of fashion we don't really talk about it anymore because we're not in the same arena." [PopEater]

• AIDS prevention is a cause dear to Carla Bruni's heart. Her brother, Virginio, died of the disease in 2006, and she told French television yesterday that working in fashion in the 1980s, the disease was omnipresent. "The fashion world was hit head-on by the AIDS pandemic," she said. "It really did lose members of its family." Bruni is now an ambassador with the Global Fund to fight AIDS, TB, and malaria, and yesterday the Elysée Palace was festooned for the first time with red ribbons. [AFP]
• A fan named Diane called in to P. Diddy's Home Shopping Network show Monday night. "I'm so nervous!" she squealed. "Don't be nervous," replied the suave object of her affections. "I wish I could just jump through the screen and give you a hug, girl." [The Cut]
• Alber Elbaz designed some sweet heart-shaped Lanvin stamps, covered with his doodles, for the French postal service. [WWD]
• Maria Sharapova would like a fashion line, just as soon as she's finished kicking everyone's asses on the court. [Reuters]
• Liberty of London is taking its gorgeous William Morris aesthetic to the masses: it's partnering up with Target. [WWD]
• John Galliano not only designed a gorgeous Christmas tree that looks right out of a Hokusai print: it will be installed at the Claridge's hotel in a constellation of 20 of his haute-couture dresses. Swoon. [Telegraph]
• If Simon Doonan wanted a crowd, he should have gone the way of XOXO's flagship, which features a rotating cast of two female models paid to dress and undress in front of a glass window on 5th Avenue. The creative director who came up with the concept, in case you're wondering, is a woman. [CNN]
• Mango inked a deal with J.C. Penney. The Spanish brand has 1,200 stores worldwide, but only 12 in the U.S., so their distribution in this country has just officially mushroomed. [Crains]
• Carmen Dell'Orefice is working on a coffee table book of photography, scheduled for release on her 80th birthday. This story is funny mainly for how the Post mangles her name. Carmen De L'Orifice, indeed. [P6]
• Jil Sander's latest jewelry collection, made with Damiani, is out. "Jil Sander, even being considered as the brand of pureness, can create a product category such as jewelry," sniffed creative director Raf Simons. Prices start at around €890 for the baubles; Jil Sander watches are coming in the spring. [Independent]
• Seamstresses and designers who were employed in Christian Lacroix's workshop were yesterday told they had lost their jobs, following the court ruling that the bankrupt house could be transformed into a licensing operation. Dressmaker Nadia Schoope said, "I didn't think it would finish like that. I can't understand how a house like Lacroix cannot draw buyers." Monika Soszynska, who worked in couture accessories, said, "It's surreal, we can't believe that it's stopping, it's not possible. I can't believe we won't be doing the next haute couture collection." [ToL]
• H&M wants to open home stores. The Swedish retailer, which has been plagued by declining sales, opened 240 stores this year. [WWD]
• Dockers thinks the tag line "Behold the second dawn of man" will move some khaki pants. Global marketing vice president Jennifer Sey tells BrandWeek about the genesis of the campaign: "We started to do some research. In today's world, men have lost a bit of footing, in part because women have come so far, but we also found a few surprising facts: Eighty-percent of those who suffered unemployment in the last year were men. Women outnumber men in the workforce now. But the most surprising fact of all was that men's testosterone levels have been dropping by a percentage point a year for the last 20 years. All these factors add to up say, 'Wow, men are struggling in today's world.'" She's not trying to sell pants with pathetic anti-feminist rhetoric, she's just trying to "inspire today's men to be men," ladies. [BW]
• Roland Mouret has a capsule collection for Net-A-Porter on sale now. The seven lovely silk dresses come in seven bright colors, and cost $1,495-$3,070. [WWD]
• The fate of all Victoria's Secret diamond-encrusted bras is to be dismantled for parts. Because nobody ever buys them. [WSJ]
• Christian Louboutin, on Jennifer Lopez's single, "Louboutins" — which name-checks his brand 45 times, yes, he counted: "Jennifer told me about the song back in January, and I was extremely flattered. But of course, in America the public pronounces my name in like a million different ways. So Jennifer called me, and she was like, 'Listen, I want to make sure that I get it right.' And she did...from the very first time! I know the song by heart now. Because the brilliant part of the single is that it's not about me. It's about a girl and her shoe. When something is so in mass culture and you have almost nothing to do with it, it's kind of cool. It's weird but not disagreeable." [FWD]

• We should have seen this coming: Lindsay Lohan and John Mayer were spotted sharing a table and dancing together at a New York club last night. "She was way into it," says an eyewitness, "She would follow his every move..."

• "He would dance with the waitresses and then come back," continues the source. Linds Tweeted about the evening: "@johncmayer shhhhhhhhhhhhhh butter-face :)" Where will he find the time to romance Linds if he's still hooking up with Jessica Simpson and fathering Jennifer Aniston's baby? (According to the tabloids.) [E!]
• The suicidal Tweets issued by "themichaellohan" weren't actually written by Michael Lohan — he doesn't even have a Twitter account. [Ok]
• Jessica Simpson said Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin is hot, so TMZ says Cowboys fans should start worrying that the "Yoko Romo curse" is back on. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston is launching a DVD for her yoga instructor, Mandy Ingber. "Jen works out with Mandy up to five times a week, and they have become such great friends she even takes Mandy on vacation with her. So Jen was delighted to help launch her DVD," says a source. [N.Y. Post]
• Rachel Uchitel, Tiger Woods' alleged mistress, says the story is bogus. "This is ridiculous. Not a word of it is true... I told the Enquirer and Star [the tabloids that broke the story] that it wasn't true. I told them not only did I have information to disprove the story, but I offered to take a lie-detector test." [People]
• However, two more women have come forward claiming they had affairs with Tiger Woods while he was married to Elin Nordegren — and they may have the voicemails to prove it. Jaimee Grubbs of Tool Academy fame told her story to Us and the other woman is still shopping her story. Grubbs claims she had a 31-month affair with Tiger that started in 2007 when she was 21. She told Us she has photos, racy texts, and a voicemail from November 24 in which he says his wife may be on to them. [Radar Online, Us]
• Tiger Woods' lip was split open after his car crash on Friday morning, but police sources say there was no blood in his SUV. [TMZ]
• The Florida Highway Patrol announced today that they're giving Tiger Woods a $164 ticket for reckless driving. There investigation is over and they will not seek any search warrants for his medical records. [TMZ]
• The Adams family, Tiger Woods' neighbors, have hired lawyers to talk to the media. They say Elin Nordegren asked the Adams' for help, which is why they called 911. They gave him a pillow and a blanket and waited for the ambulance. They say there were no signs that they were fighting that night and Elin was concerned for Tiger's safety. [TMZ]
• A judge approved a request from Jennifer Lopez's lawyer for an Emergency Court Order to keep the racy video she made with Ojani Noa from being released to the public. J.Lo didn't attend the hearing. [Radar Online]
• Jennifer Lopez's attorney says there is no "sex tape." "There wasn't anything close to sex in it," he said. "We never alleged that. But it's still private and personal to my client." After the decision Ojani Noa complained, "They're trying to stop me from making my documentary and I'm fighting for my rights... They're not being fair." [People]
• A home video of Marilyn Monroe smoking marijuana at a party in the late '50s has surfaced. The person who shot the film recently sold it to a collector for $275,000. [Reuters]
• Rihanna said her life is far from normal. "It's definitely more intense," she said. "Every day is another curveball, but now I know how to handle it. Every time you get put in a situation, it somehow makes you stronger." [E!]
• Rihanna admitted the leaked naked pictures of her are real. "They were for my boyfriend at the time," she said, "if you don't send your boyfriend naked pictures, then I feel bad for him." She added, "It was the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to me. I just felt like my whole privacy was taken before that [with the other photo leak] and then, when that came out, I thought, 'Oh great, so now there's nothing they don't know about me and my private life. It was humiliating and it was embarrassing – especially my mom having to see that." [People]
• The court date for TLC's case against Jon Gosselin has been moved from December 14 to December 10. [Radar Online]
• Those in charge of Michael Jackson's estate rejected 24-year-old Prince Michael Malachi Jet Jackson's claim that he's the late singer's lovechild, so he filed an objection asking a judge to "have determined that he is the biological son of decedent Michael Joseph Jackson ... and gain whatever benefits he is entitled to." [TMZ]
• Tori Spelling and Candy Spelling's feud may be over. They started talking in September when they were both in the hospital and Candy finally met her granddaughter Stella. [E!]
• Verne Troyer says his ex-girlfriend Yvette Monet, who just obtained a restraining order against him, just wants money from him and "at no time did I ever threaten Ms. Monet or even hint to her that I would harm her in any way." [TMZ]
• Lisa Loeb gave birth to her first child, Lyla Rose Loeb Hershkovitz, on Sunday morning. [People]
• Possible Lost spoiler: Emilie de Ravin was spotted shooting a scene for the final season with Evangeline Lilly. [E!]
• John Mellencamp's 14-year-old son Speck is asking people to start a Facebook group he created to get his dad to stop smoking. Mellencamp says he'll quit if he gets 1 million people to join. [AP]
  QUOTES
• It seems Ryan Reynolds didn't finish watching yesterday's episode of Regis and Kelly even though his wife Scarlett Johansson was performing at the end of the show. When asked if he saw it he said, "Wait. Was that the show with Matt Dillon?" [Showbiz 411]
• Kate Garraway, the host of Britain's GMTV, said after Mariah Carey appeared on the show, "I've heard a lot of rumours about her being a diva over the years and guess what? It's all true! While Mariah was very nice, the amount of people she had in her entourage was hilarious. They outnumbered the entire GMTV crew!" Now her bosses have forced her to apologize to Mariah. [The Mirror]
• Bill Clinton called his future son-in-law Marc Mezvinsky "a great human being," and, a source says, "Bill adores him. This is the son he didn't have... This is the relationship Bill didn't have with his father." [People]
• When asked who should play President Obama in a movie, Morgan Freeman said, "Denzel. Denzel could pull it off quite nicely. You would totally believe him." [U.S. News]
• Steffi Graf said of the first roses Andre Agassi ever sent her, "I wondered where they came from. Each rose was stunning. You felt every petal had reached the perfect moment of its bloom." [Vogue]
• "One of the reasons I think I've gained weight pretty quickly during my pregnancy is that I'm not exercising as much as I do normally ... I can't. I'm feeling tired, and I have this business to run," says Padma Lakshmi. "You hope that with age, what you pay for in gravity, you gain in gravitas. I'm sure my thighs looked better when I was 25, but I think my mind is better today." [People]
• In addition to acting on Mad Men, Bryan Batt owns a home decor and gift shop in New Orleans with his partner Tom Cianfichi. "It's something we always wanted to do," said Batt. "I've always loved gifts and shopping and design." [AP]
• Daniel Radcliffe says after the Harry Potter films are over, his next project will be starting a family. "No man, I've got kids to have yet!" he said. "They're going to keep me busy if I do – which I hope I do at some point. I'm not planning on it soon – that's one of the things I'm really looking forward to doing." [People]
• Mila Kunis says Darren Aronofsky offered her a part in Black Swan over iChat. Here's how their conversation went, according to Kunis: "Hey." "Hey. Do you want to do this?" "Video chat? "No, the movie." "If you just offered me the movie, I think you need to get on video chat and offer it to me." [BlackBook Magazine]

• Katie Holmes doesn't see anything wrong with 3-year-old Suri wearing high heels. "Like every little girl, she loves my high heels," says Katie. "They're actually ballroom dancing shoes for kids... I found them for her and she loves them." [Us]

• Katie Holmes didn't do much cooking on Thanksgiving. "I do love to bake, but this year my sisters did all the baking and I just sort of enjoyed it," said Holmes. "I ate all of their baking!" [Extra]
• Tiger Woods won't play at the Chevron World Challenge golf tournament this week due to "injuries sustained in a one-car accident last week." He posted a statement on his website saying, "I am extremely disappointed that I will not be at my tournament this week ... I am certain it will be an outstanding event and I'm very sorry that I can't be there." [TMZ]
• A source claims Tiger Woods yelled at his wife "You've ruined our Thanksgiving! Are you happy now?" before storming out and crashing his car early Friday morning. His neighbor Joy Williamson says, "Everything has to be perfect for Tiger. Something at home must have upset him. I think he was probably just furious about something, got in that big Escalade and drove off." [Radar Online]
• The security cameras at Tiger Woods' home caught him leaving and the Florida Highway Patrol wants the tapes. [TMZ]
• Two Florida Highway Patrol troopers visited the hospital where Tiger Woods was treated on Friday morning. Witnesses say they were looking for information about his visit, though they aren't formally seeking a warrant yet. [TMZ]
• An eyewitness says at the scene of the accident Tiger Woods was unconscious on the ground and had a bloody cut on his lower lip. His wife Elin Nordgren was upset and brought out two pill bottles when EMTs asked if he was on any medications. [TMZ]
• Jude Law and Sienna Miller: Totally back on. They were offered a seat at the back of a New York restaurant on Thanksgiving night, but decided to sit in the front where everyone could see them kissing. [Perez Hilton]
• "They came in holding hands and kept touching each other and kissing throughout the entire meal," says a source. "They had no problem flaunting their love right in the middle of the restaurant. They definitely looked like they were head-over-heels for each other." [Star]
• Ojani Noa's agent threatened to file the 11 hours of racy home video he took while married to Jennifer Lopez as public evidence. J.Lo's lawyer responded that his "attempt to romanticize his threatened unlawful conduct and turn it into a Jimmy Stewart movie does not make his conduct any less illegal or make him any less culpable." He pointed out that making the videos public would violate a temporary restraining order. Both parties are due back in court tomorrow. [Radar Online]
• Chris Judd, Jennifer Lopez's other ex-husband, married Kelly A. Wolfe last week. [Us]
• There's a picture of White House party crasher Michaele Salahi attending a 2005 event for former Washington Redskins cheerleaders, but the team has no record of her being part of the squad. [TMZ]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps of The Real Houswives of New York said of the incident, "I was surprised that they got in. That's the most unbelievable thing: that they were able to get through. I do believe that Bravo really didn't know... I believe these people said that they were invited, they kind of made them believe that, and then they got in!" [N.Y. Magazine]
• Roman Polanski won't be released into house arrest at his Alpine chalet for a few more days, according to the French consul. Polanski still hasn't deposited his $4.5 million bail and the electronic monitors need to be set up. [Reuters]
• French diplomat Jean-Luc Faure-Tournaire visited Roman Polanski in jail today and reported, "He is in good spirits. He is very happy about how he has been treated here." [AP]
• Law enforcement sources say the decision on whether criminal charges will be made against Dr. Conrad Murray for Michael Jackson's death is "months rather than weeks away." [Reuters]
• Brittany Murphy was fired from a film she was shooting in Puerto Rico because she was being difficult on set. She was replaced by Twilight's Rachelle Lefevre. In a possibly related incident, Murphy's husband Simon Monjack got into a fight with some locals, then seemed "incoherent" when he arrived back at LAX. [Perez Hilton]
• Lady Gaga slipped at a performance in Canada. She got up immediately and kept dancing. Video here: [TMZ]
• Police say Anthony Michael Hall bit his girlfriend Diana Falzone's forehead and "pushed, shoved and spit at her" during a fight earlier this month at her apartment. The next day he came back drunk and banged on her door until police removed him. She obtained a temporary restraining order against him. [Radar Online]
• Pete Doherty has apologized for singing the Nazi anthem "Deutschland, Deutschland ueber alles" during a Munich concert that was broadcast live on Saturday. He was booed offstage and threw his mic at the moderator after she asked him to leave. "He was unaware of the controversy surrounding the German national anthem and he deeply apologizes if he has caused any offence," said Doherty's spokeswoman. [Reuters]
• Adam Shankman, the director of the upcoming film adaptation of the musical Rock of Ages, says the rumors that Miley Cyrus will star in the film aren't true. "It's way too soon," Shankman said. "I love it, though. She went to see the show and she loved it and then I had to email her and say, 'I hear you're starring in my movie. Fantastic! Congratulations!' It was just so crazy. She saw the show and that was all." [E!]
• Q: "Did you catch any flak for doing those raunchy GoDaddy commercials? Danica Patrick: "Like I said, they are incredibly successful and are growing every year. They definitely know how to direct traffic to the Web site and drive their business. I'm excited to be part of a successful company." [AdWeek]
• While speaking to a group of secondary school students at a workshop on homophobic bullying, Sir Ian McKellen said, "Being gay was a topic that was never mentioned when I was your age. We had not really invented the word gay - at school I used to be called Oscar, after Oscar Wilde. If you were gay there was nowhere to go and no one to talk to, there was no other gay person as far as I knew. So to come back to school for the first time in 50 years and see this is heartening, to see that as a nation we have so rapidly grown up. When I was 29 it was illegal for me to make love, I had a boyfriend and we slept together but the law said that we should be in prison. It was very hard to walk out in the street and say to him don't touch me or brush your hand against mine, there may be a police man around the corner." [The Telegraph]

• Chris Brown will not be singing on Good Morning America next week as scheduled. He will, however, "come clean" in a primetime interview about what happened the night he assaulted former girlfriend Rhianna. [NY Post]

• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have not, repeat NOT split up. Says a rep for Witherspoon. A person who, a year or so ago, probably would not have confirmed the two were together. [Us Magazine]
• Meanwhile, "in the wake of infidelity rumors," Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow are about to spend time apart: She will be working on a musical in the US and then filming a movie in Germany. Will the marriage survive?!?!? [UPI]
• Britney Spears allegedly proposed to her boyfriend, Jason Trawick, only to have him reject the offer. Allegedly. This made her "furious," so she (allegedly) "banished" Jason from Australia, where she is on tour. [MTV.com.au]
• Perez Hilton has written a second book, in which he claims that Drew Barrymore is "always fucked up" and is "not the sober kitten that the main public may think she is." In addition, he claims that "someone" tips off the photogs when Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony want to show the world pictures of themselves together. [Gatecrasher]
• Despite an apparent suicide note via Twitter, Michael Lohan is not dead, did not try to kill himself and the Twitter account saying so is not even his. [Gawker]
• Meryl Streep is on the cover of Vanity Fair and says: "It's incredible-I'm 60, and I'm playing the romantic lead in romantic comedies! Bette Davis is rolling over in her grave." Director Mike Nichols claims: "She broke the glass ceiling of an older woman being a big star-it has never, never happened before." [Vanity Fair]
• Rachel Uchitel, who is being called Tiger Woods' alleged mistress (as we learned in Midweek Madness, Star magazine alleges Uchitel has been sexting Tiger) is working with famed lawyer Gloria Allred now and the two are "deciding" what the next step will be. [TMZ]
• Rachel Uchitel says: "I did not have any involvement with him [Woods]. Whatever was written in the Enquirer was not said by me, it was said by two people that claimed they were friends of mine but they're not." [E!]
• Tiger Woods canceled a meeting with the Florida Highway Patrol. [TMZ]
• The FHP is trying to obtain a search warrant to seize medical records from the hospital which treated Tiger Woods. The idea is to find out if his injuries were from car accident or domestic violence; some reports claim that his wife followed him out of the house and struck his moving car with a gold club, causing him to hit a fire hydrant and tree. [TMZ]
• Brad Pitt's "Make It Right" homes in New Orleans are getting mixed reviews. Some people feel that the architecture is not grounded in the history of New Orleans and that the houses can be "alien, sometimes even insulting," [PopEater]
• Michael Jackson's enormous debt may be paid off, thanks to the music royalties and box-office bonanza from This Is It. [Daily Express]
• Mary Murphy wants Tom Cruise to be a guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance, and Katie Holmes says: "He would be great. He really would." It'll happen, if Xenu wills it so! [E!]
• Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz sped away from a stampede via motorcycle in Cadiz, Spain yesterday — it was a scene was for their flick Knight & Day, but the stampede was real. [NY Post]
• David Hasselhoff's ex-wife Pamela Bach was busted for DUI Saturday night. Bail was set at $15,000; Bach was released on her own recognizance and attended an AA meeting yesterday. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, David Hasselhoff was under an involuntary psychiatric hold at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center over the weekend after drinking a "large amount of alcohol." [Radar Online]
• Except: David Hasselhoff's lawyer denies that David was on a psych hold: "David's at home. He's fine. I'm not sure where that information is coming from." [E!]
• Rumor has it Kate Moss is sick of the "media glare" in the UK and may move to New York or Paris, where, as you may know, there are absolutely no paparazzi or tabloids. [Daily Mail]
• After a record-breaking opening weekend, New Moon's ticket sales dropped nearly 70% from Friday to Sunday. Somehow, The Blind Side is doing really well. [Us Magazine]
• Rihanna says: "I haven't been in touch with my dad for a year and a half... by his choice. He came on tour and acted a mess. We sent him home and after that he didn't answer my calls." Her dad says: "I leave messages for her but I never hear back. I want nothing more in this world than to see my daughter again and to be part of her life." And: "I'm sorry and I love you." A page from the MIchael Lohan book of child/parent communication! [Mirror]
• Taylor Momsen does that sullen, insomniac teen thing so well in the new Japanese edition of NyLon. [ONTD]
• Congrats to Tom Arnold, who was married for the fourth time in Hawaii on Saturday. The lady's name is Ashley Groussman and the wedding had an Asian theme; the couple chanted a Buddhist prayer after exchanging rings. [Us Magazine]
• You know, if we're not supposed to be admiring the physique of 17-year-old Taylor Lautner, then stop shooting slo-mo video of his biceps. Jeez. [Rolling Stone]
• Taylor Lautner says that once Jamie Foxx approached him and said, "Hey, my daughter is a huge fan, and I'm a huge fan. Is there any way I can get a picture with you? I'm Jamie Foxx." To which Taylor replied: "Are you kidding me? Can I get a picture with you?" [Gatecrasher]
• Apparently Jon Gosselin tweeted that he was going to his grandma's for Thanksgiving, but Hailey Glassman tweeted: "LOL-U are in Utah snowboarding w/ ‘friends'-lol-ur redic." [Gatecrasher]
• When Tila Tequila performs, she demands that there be 20 cans of Red Bull on hand "at all times." Healthy! [Page Six]
• When Simon Cowell's X Factor comes to the US, the contestants will be vying for a chance to sing in Las Vegas. [NY Post]
• According to a police report, in early November, Anthony Michael Hall "bit his girlfriend's forehead" and "pushed, shoved and spit at" her during a fight in her apartment. [Page Six]
• Breaking: Hugh Laurie has a black eye, obtained while boxing. [Daily Express]
• Seriously, I can't believe that thieves transferred more than £200,000 from Ricky Gervais's bank account — using a fake passport with a picture of Gervais playing David Brent cut from a DVD of The Office. Insane. [Daily Mail]
• Susan Boyle's album is at the top of the UK charts. [NY Post]
• "The brother of Susan Boyle said U.S. actress Kathy Bates should portray his sister in a film about the amateur Scottish singer's life." [UPI]
• Michael Kenneth Williams, aka Omar from The Wire, plays a thief in The Road. He says he was Method acting for the role: "I followed Viggo [Mortensen]'s cues. We didn't wash, we didn't cut our hair. No grooming. I smelled. I reeked." And! He'll be in a new HBO crime drama produced by Martin Scorsese. He says: "I'm not afraid of typecasting; I'm afraid of not eating." [NY Mag]
• Welcome to the digital age, Bill Cosby! Congrats on your new website, Facebook account, Twitter account and Flickr account. [NY Times]
• "Jay Leno Losing His Audience To DVR Machines." [AP]
• "I wanted to be on the edge of personal space that is shy of violating a person's privacy but close enough to suggest intimacy. I was trusting my intuition from my past [talk show] experience when I'd ask myself, why is this desk in between me and the person I'm talking to?" — William Shatner has a special face-to-face couch on his Raw Nerve show on Bio. [NY Post]
• "I don't want to be any kind of a happy couple with a photograph on the television set. I find it embarrassing. You have to get involved with other people's relatives and great aunt Bessies and all of that — and I'd rather not. I'm 50 years old now and a pattern emerges and I accept that and I don't mind at all." — Morrissey. At the link, check out Moz's Desert Island Discs: New York Dolls, Ramones, Iggy and the Stooges. [Guardian]
• "I've become a bit of a gym person. I feel apologetic about it because it looks a little uncool, but I like to have an appointment every day. Plus it's the only time I watch TV." — Claire Danes. [Times of London]
• "Whilst we press politicians to pass global laws to reduce carbon emissions, we should not forget our individual capacity to act in ways that will help to fight climate change - such as limiting the eating of meat. Having one designated meat-free day a week is a meaningful change that everyone can make." — Paul McCartney. [BBC News]
• "From the '93 case — they accused him of just the most horrible things. This kid's father has committed suicide because he just couldn't take it, and now the kid has come forth and said, Michael never touched him." — Jermaine Jackson, on Evan Chandler, who accused Michael Jackson of sexually abusing his son Jordy. [OMG via Access Hollywood]
• "I read once that Alexander the Great would've not been great, that great, if he would've not traveled with the historians who documented his multiple battles and his victories. So documenting your work is important, making sure that the work, if it's well done, if you put many hours and effort and energy into that, that it does its job, that it's presented the right way. And that's when you make sure that you're surrounded by intelligent people who can also contribute to your career in great ways… You can't win a battle if you don't have the right army behind you." — Shakira. [LA Times]
• "I definitely believe in the possibility of intelligent life on other planets. There's just so much space out there to not believe in that. For me, the idea with this movie is to be open to change. You should be accepting of change because, only through change, can you grow and learn more about yourself, as a human or alien." — Jessica Biel, who voices an alien in Planet 51. [Independent]
• "I like me better naked. I don't mean that in a vain way… When you put clothes on, you immediately put a character on. Clothes are adjectives, they are indicators. When you don't have any clothes on, it's just you, raw, and you can't hide." — Padma Lakshmi. [Page Six]
• "The word gay has become used as a derogatory term and this is something which education can help to resolve. Either that or we choose another word to describe ourselves. I rather like another G word – glorious." — Ian McKellen. [Daily Express]
• "The first day I met [Tracy Morgan], I had a small Afro, and he was like, 'You know, if you want to get dreads, you should get your girl pregnant and put the placenta in your hair.' And I was like, 'What the fuck … are you talking about?' But from that point on, I thought, Any brain that can make that up needs to be studied." — Donald Glover, who quit 30 Rock before being cast on Community. [NY Mag]
• "Every woman should have naked pictures taken. In five years my body might not look like this! I've always been borderline raunchy and a little sexy. But sexy at 19 and sexy at 21 is two different things. I'm just having fun. When naked pictures I'd sent to a boyfriend were leaked this year I was so nervous and embarrassed that my mom was going to see them. But she reacted in the most surprising way. She just sent me a text saying, 'You're an adult now.' Basically saying, 'Welcome to the real world.' She says I'm a woman now so I have to handle things like an adult." — Rihanna. [The Sun]
• "I can't remember the last time I really worried about being appealing." — Meryl Streep. [Page Six]

• Tiger Woods was briefly hospitalized after his car crashed into a fire hydrant and tree outside of his home early Friday morning. Woods suffered lacerations on his lips, but is otherwise "in good condition." [Reuters]

• Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, who was not in the car at the time of the crash, was responsible for pulling Woods out of the crashed vehicle by smashing the back windshield with golf clubs and pulling Woods, who was drifting "in and out of consciousness" out of the car. [People]
• TMZ is reporting a markedly different version of the story, however, claiming that Elin scratched Tiger's lips up before the accident, during a fight the two had over rumors that Woods was seeing another woman. Tiger then attempted to drive away, which is when Elin hit the back windshield with the golf clubs and Tiger drove into the hydrant. Oh, dear. [TMZ]
• Woods was reportedly unconscious for six minutes after the accident occurred. [DailyMail]
• Though alcohol has been ruled out as a cause of the crash, "unspecified charges" are apparently still pending. [TimesOnline]
• Ugh: Chris Brown will be interviewed by Robin Roberts for an episode of 20/20 on December 11. [Yahoo]
• The Arabian Horse Foundation has established a scholarship in the name of Patrick Swayze and his wife as a tribute to their "love of the Arabian breed and contributions over the years to AHA youth programs." [Yahoo]
• Kevin Federline pulled out of a radio show appearance in Australia after the station advertised that he'd discuss the possibility of getting back together with his ex, Britney Spears. Says Federline's publicist: "The headline was completely out of context with the interview and Kevin is not getting back with Britney, so he said, 'F... them, I'm not going to do their show'."[News.Au]
• Cate Blanchett says that vacuuming is a "therapeutic" experience: "It's a very satisfying noise when you hear all that grit sucked up from the floor and into the machine." [People]
• Courtney Love spent her Thanksgiving at Scores with actor DJ Qualls, which somehow seems totally normal. [PageSix]
• "The success of the Twilight books comes from the fact that fans can lust after Edward and yet, certainly in the first book, there's no actual sexual contact between him and the series heroine."- Robert Pattinson [ShowbizSpy]
• Rihanna had this advice for the remaining contestants on Britain's X-Factor: "'In this industry, if they can't take the comments that the judges are giving them, then they won't be prepared for this world. This world is a lot more intense and the comments can be a lot worse." [DailyMail]
• Zachary Quinto says that playing Spock hasn't really changed life just yet: "I don't know, maybe I should be chased down the street by rabid Star Trek fans. But I engage fans on a personal level, and I engage them as myself. It's really important that those boundaries are clear, and that's always been the case in my life. It seems to be working." [JustJared]
• David Hasselhoff was hospitalized yesterday after reportedly suffering a seizure. [RadarOnline]
• Jennifer Aniston and Gwyneth Paltrow showed up "practically clutching" each other at a party in Morocco recently, which clearly means they were talking shit about their mutual ex, Brad Pitt, and his tendency to copy their haircuts. [PageSix]
• "I still am a tomboy. I love to go fishing. I love sports. I used to play ice hockey. You know, I think people only see the glamour and the parties, but when I'm at home I'm completely different."-Paris Hilton [People]
• Megan Fox is a big fan of military men: "Every time I've ever come in contact with anybody from the military. You're always the most chivalrous, polite and respectful men I've ever met." [JustJared]
• A cellmate of Roman Polanski claims that the director was given special treatment in jail, including multiple phone calls to his lawyers and his wife and access to the guards at all times via a special call button. [DailyExpress]
• Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband, Ojani Noa, plans to release home videos of Lopez sometime next week, despite a $10 million lawsuit filed by Lopez earlier this month. [RadarOnline]
• "I do have a slight disability – I had difficulty trying to express myself properly and music is a release for me. I've grown up a bit, I'm more of a lady. I accept now that my life will never be the same and I don't want it to end. It's OK. It's comfortable on my shoulders right now. I don't feel pressure, I feel a sense of humility."- Susan Boyle [DailyExpress]
• Cobra Starship (or, if you were an early 00s emo kid, Midtown) singer Gabe Saporta had his phone briefly confiscated after he was spotted taking pictures of Lindsay Lohan while she partied. "The security team didn't care that he was the deejay," says a source, "They went up to Gabe, took his camera and erased all of his pictures to make sure there were none of her drinking or looking like she was having too much fun." [PageSix]
• Carrie Fisher admits that it's still a bit weird to hear Paul Simon sing songs about their relationship: "It is kind of trippy 15, 20 years down the line to turn on the radio and hear yourself complained about in song." [DailyExpress]
• OMG, you guys: The Blind Side actually beat New Moon at the box office on Thanksgiving. [EW]
• Despite (or perhaps because of) the controversy surrounding Adam Lambert after his fairly scandalous AMA's performance, Lambert's debut album, For Your Entertainment, is selling quite well. [CNN]
• Zig-a-zag-ouch: Victoria Beckham may undergo bunion-removal surgery after years of wearing super-high heels. "She is suffering from shooting pain from the bunions," says a source, "Normally, she kicks off her shoes in the house, but she has been out so much recently in high heels that she is really feeling it." [NYDN]
• "As a gangsta ass football coach who loved his family and kids and did tha best at everything he did and didn't take shit from no one, ya dig?!"-Snoop Dogg, on how he'd like to be remembered. [Guardian]

[Beverly Hills, November 24. Image via Pacific Coast News]

• Timbaland recorded a song with Chris Brown for his upcoming album, but now he's removed Chris' vocals from the track. Timbaland's manager says it's a "creative decision for both parties," but sources say he's done with the "drama" surrounding Chris.

• Timbaland's manager added, "There's nothing against Chris. We love Chris." Coincidentally, Timbaland's album will be released on December 8, the same day as Chris'. [TMZ]
• In May Chris Brown was sued by a paparazzo who claims he fell down a staircase at an L.A. Fitness after being chased by his bodyguards. Now Chris has filed papers saying he's not responsible for the injuries because LA Fitness didn't keep the paparazzi out.TMZ]
• Someone threw a packaged ham at Paula Deen at a charity event in Atlanta. It smacked her in the face, but she wasn't injured. [TMZ]
• Her rep says she was "startled at first, but quickly regained focus and kept her humor... She's okay now and is icing her face." [Us]
• ABC received about 1,500 complaints about Adam Lambert's performance at the AMAs last night, which included a dancer on a leash, simulated oral sex, and Lambert kissing another man. ABC said that isn't an unusual number of complaints, and the executives probably don't care because it was the highest rated AMAs since 2002. [USA Today]
• Jennifer Lopez joked about tripping at the AMAs, saying, "Did I trip a little bit? I don't even remember... Yeah, I meant to do that. That was part of the choreography." [People]
• Roman Polanski's lawyers are fighting amongst themselves. Last week, his French lawyer said, "he will not accept being extradited to the United States," but his L.A. lawyers just issued a statement saying, "Any statements made in the press to the effect that Mr. Polanski will not accept lawful orders of the courts, including relating to extradition, are not true." [Daily Express]
• In response to Perez Hilton writing: "It's been one year since Asslee pushed Bronx Mowgli through her vayjayjay and it's all the family is talking about!" Jessica Simpson Tweeted: "Does perez hilton..whatever his name really is..have no heart at all? Don't ever attack my family again.Sad to know u hate so deeply.Sad 4 U" [Us]
• Jon Gosselin's former lawyer Charles Meyer, who withdrew from his divorce case in September, has filed an emergency petition asking that the $43,000 Jon owes him be taken out of Jon's share of the property distribution before it's handed out to Jon. [TMZ]
• Dr. Conrad Murray returned to work today at his Houston clinic for the first time since Michael Jackson's death. [AP]
• The Texas Medical Board is now conducting their own investigation of Dr. Conrad Murray, which was triggered by the ongoing DEA investigation of the doctor. [TMZ]
• Alexandra Forbes Kerry, Senator John Kerry's daughter, won't be prosecuted for DUI because when she was stopped last week, she was under the legal limit. [TMZ]
• A jury found Barry Carpenter, the Ohio police chief accused of breaking into the home of Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate, guilty of receiving stolen property, theft in office and tampering with evidence. He was acquitted on charges of burglary and unauthorized used of property or services. He faces up to 10 years in jail. [AP]
• Michael Barrett, the man accused of secretly filming Erin Andrews in hotel rooms, has pled not guilty to one count of interstate stalking. [Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt gave more than $6 million to charity last year, doubling what they gave in 2007. [Showbiz 411]
• Today on her show, Martha Stewart said there are "some comments that are circulating on the Internet regarding me and Rachael Ray" but, "just for the record there are no bad feelings between us nor have there ever been... I truly believe that Rachael has done a terrific job bringing people, many people who would of never of even stepped into the kitchen or made a dish to cook. I applaud Rachel for her enthusiastic approach to cooking." [CNN]
• In a clip from tomorrow's episode of The Hills, Spencer Pratt says he took Heidi Montag to a sushi restaurant "for a little alcohol test" because he thinks she has purposely ditched her birth control pills, and that's the easiest way to tell if your wife's pregnant. [Us]
• Someone at the L.A. Times read and summarized How to be Famous by Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, so you wouldn't have to: [L.A.T.]
• Candy Spelling has settled with the ex-maid who was suing her for overworking her. A Spelling source says the maid didn't get much, but "Maybe in maid money it's a lot." [TMZ]
• When asked about his relationship with Kate Hudson, A-Rod said, "Life is good I'm happy. We're happy, I have lots to be grateful for." [Radar Online]
• Keith Urban says he hopes his daughter Sunday Rose grows up to be a singer. "She's got some pipes," he says. "I think she sounds quite musical. I sit at the piano with her in the morning and we mash the keys together." [Us]
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson spent the weekend frolicking in New York. They went to a few bars, were spotted making out, and finished the weekend at Megu last last night. "They were with two friends and looked very cozy," says a source. "Both were having a great time." [People]
• Zac Efron says:"My first audition ever was for this Peter Pan live action show when I was 15 and I'd just done the play Peter Pan so I thought 'who could be better'. I showed up and it was on tape in this tiny room. On stage you speak to the back of the room and you project and Peter Pan is very animated and jumping off things and going crazy so that's what I did in the audition, running around and jumping off my chair, singing the lines. This woman interrupted me and goes 'you've never done this before have you?' and I went 'no' and she went 'okay you can go' and that was the worst audition ever, ever in my life. I kind of wept about that one." People]
• Here's Chippendales dancer Nathan Minor's critique of Levi Johnston's Playgirl photos: "The only problem — his hairy armpits! We take only mostly shaved guys. He should also focus on his diet to help him get a bit harder. He doesn't have to go the fitness-y hard look, but he could tighten up a little bit. His body is a little soft. But he has good hair and a great face. He's definitely Chippendales material. Anytime he wants to do the show, he's more than welcome!" [Us]
• Q: "In light of your song 'Baby By Me,' if you could pick a celebrity to be your 'baby mama,' who would it be? 50 Cent: "That would probably be an easier question for someone who isn't a celebrity. I don't know. Maybe I'd have an interracial relationship with Megan Fox... I'll get me some Jada and walk around like I'm Will (laughs). Maybe, who else? I'm not really excited by celebrity because I'm a celebrity. People who have a little bit more normalcy can't understand exactly what it is, but you get accustomed to it and it becomes less interesting." [AP]

The biggest misstep of the night was obviously Jennifer Lopez falling on her butt during her performance of her new song "Louboutins." Ironically, she wasn't in her Louboutins when she fell. (She changed into them later.)

Janet opened the evening with a medley of her greatest hits, and she did the "If" dance!

Then Paula Abdul came out to welcome everyone to the awards. But her mic wasn't on. Poor Paula. (She still sounds drunk to me.)

Rihanna's performance was kind of boring, although her costume did have lasers on it.

But Lady GaGa upstaged her and everyone else.

Still, the Queen of Hip-Hop Soul can't be outdone when it comes to facial expressions.

Whitney won International Artist of the Year, and she brought the house down.

She made Reba cry.

Bobbi Kris was proud.

I'm glad we have Whitney back to her old sweaty self.

Let's start with the actual video. It's absolutely terrible, and was directed by Jonas Akerlund, who should probably know better.


The video is technically by Lopez's character "Lola," (I know), and according to JustJared.com, is meant to be "just a warmup track" before her real album drops in January. The "warmup song" kicks off with actual directions on how to dance. "You got your drink in your left hand. Put your right hand on your hips." It's like the hokey pokey for terrible club songs.


Maybe Leighton Meester was in on this whole "Lola" thing, and decided to help J-Lo warm things up by using the exact same shot in her "Somebody to Love" video, no? Or perhaps both of them are really big Rocky Horror fans.


I'm not even exaggerating when I tell you that 75% of this video is comprised of shots of J-Lo's shoes. It's completely ridiculous, but not entirely surprising when you consider that the "official" lead-off single for her album is titled "Louboutins." Classy! As former Idolator editor Maura Johnston once wrote, "what better way to entice your potential audience in a time where unemployment in the U.S. is officially hovering around the 10% mark (the real numbers are even less pretty) than to sing an ode to expensive shoes? It's like Sex And The City never got canceled! $25 cosmos for everyone, you guys!"


Get enough of these shoes yet? No!? Well you're in luck, because there are about 9000 shots exactly like this throughout the video. We barely get a chance to see Jennifer, er, Lola's face.


But when we do, it's SexyFace!


Poor Lola. She thinks her fancy shoes will distract us from lyrics like "Be real you can say who you are/ Everybody say that you doctor at the bar." I think Lola should just stop listening to what everyone says at the bar. People say crazy things at the bar! Like, "I'm a doctor," or "You should totally record and make a video for this piece of crap song."


Straight up, now tell me: where have we seen this shot before?


There's a very awkward scene in this video where "Lola" rocks back and forth on her bed for no apparent reason while the chorus, "fresh out the oven" plays in the background. It all seems very...not so fresh out the oven. Like she has food poisoning. Or like she's trying to hold in her disgust for this entire concept.


The video does have some nice shots in it; here, we're reminded that Jennifer Lopez is actually a great dancer. Too bad it also reminds us that she's not a great singer, and that the song includes the line "You say you want the cookie (yeah)/You've gonna wait for the cookie/No touchy touchy only looky looky." Woof. Limp Bizkit's "Nookie" looks poetic by comparison.


I swear, you guys, there are at least 8 shots of this particular shoe during this scene. The camera flashes away, then flashes back to the shoe, and continues doing this in a pattern that makes you feel like you're being brainwashed. "The shoes are hot. The shoes are hot. You will forget the rest of this shitshow. Fresh Out The Oven. Zack Morris is the blond Tom Cruise."


Oh yeah: there's also a secondary plot wherein Pitbull, who is featured on the track, is being grabbed by tons of women. Later in the video, the walls start grabbing him. I don't know what any of this is supposed to mean. I think we're in a haunted house with an demonic oven in it. Something is fresh out the oven, and it's not going to stop until we all buy Louboutins and break it off here or break it off there.


This gold thing has something to do with something, but I have no idea what it is or why it's important. Is this what just came out the oven? What is happening here, you guys?!


Oh, I get it now! Lola is a demented cat dancing in a haunted house while random people dance around her and various shots of Pitbull being attacked by hands and someone who enjoys writhing around in Louboutins wanders the same sad hallways. Somewhere, something is fresh out the oven. Some might say it's love. Some might say it's lust. After watching this video, however, I'm fairly certain that it's a big steaming turd.

Dear Jennifer Lopez, Why Don't You Just Take All Your Money And Go Away Somewhere Fancy And Leave Us Alone [Idolator]
Jennifer Lopez Fresh Out The Oven Music Video [Just Jared]

• Last night, one of the four buses in Miley Cyrus' tour caravan swerved off the road in Virginia and crashed. The driver was killed, and one other person was injured.

• It's unclear if the driver died in the crash, or if he died at the wheel, causing the accident. Miley's personal bus was not involved in the accident and the concert they were heading to in North Carolina is still on. [TMZ, TMZ]
• This statement was posted on Miley Cyrus' website: "We are deeply saddened by the loss of Bill 'Uncle Bill' Douglas... Members of our tour are like members of our family. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family in the midst of this tragedy. He will truly be missed." [People]
• A judge threw out a case filed by an Asian woman named Lucie Kim on behalf of Asian-Americans in L.A. against Miley Cyrus for making squinty eyes in a photo. [TMZ]
• Michael Lohan claims he has a contract that could be the "smoking gun" in TLC's case against Jon Gosselin. Lohan says it's a contract between himself, Gosselin, Mike Heller (the son of Jon's lawyer) and Hailey Glassman, which led to Jon being paid for outside appearances that violated his TLC deal, even though it's unsigned. [Radar Online]
• The good news: The final episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 will air on Monday. Jon and Kate will take the kids on separate outings, and "individually, Jon and Kate reflect on what the past has meant and what the future might hold." The bad news: A TLC spokeswoman says, "We are focusing on the launch of Kate's new series in early spring." [Us]
• In yet another creditor's claim, against Michael Jackson's estate, a company called Video & Audio Center said it is owed $128,482 for installing the TV system at Neverland Ranch. [TMZ]
• Joel Madden says Nicole Richie is home resting after being hospitalized with pneumonia. "So I stepped off the plane after a month out of the country, and basically went straight to the hospital for the week," he wrote on his website. "But don't worry all is well and we are home with no problems." [People]
• Britney Spears' ex Adnan Ghalib has been sentenced to 45 days in jail and 36 months probation after pleading guilty to leaving the scene of an accident. [TMZ]
• Flight attendant Lisa Wilson is suing Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony because she claims their "personal protection dog" "growled and lunged at her," and "headbutted her leg and she fell and seriously injured her back." Wilson claims the dog was "obviously dangerous" and should have been sent to counseling. [Us]
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz's son Bronx Mowgli turned one today. Ashlee Tweeted yesterday: "BX's 1st bday tomorrow!" she wrote. "My angel is going to be a year!! The greatest year of my life." Pete Tweeted: "Happy birthday bx. you dont have twitter and cant read this. Thanks to all my friends that recorded lullabies. cant believe its been a year." [Us]
• Lily Allen, who urged the British government to crack down on illegal file sharing, said in a radio interview, "If someone comes up with a burnt copy of my CD and offers it to you for £4 I haven't a problem with that as long as the person buying it places some kind of value on my music." [Daily Express]
• Carrie Prejean's brother Billy Arnone talked to Radar Online about her sex tapes and said, "If they were put in front of me I'd probably watch it." [Radar Online]
• In other sketchy family member news, Paris Hilton's mom revealed that her daughter wanted to get breast implants. Kathy Hilton said, "At one point [Paris] was like 'I wanna do this and that, I'm so flat!' but then all of a sudden she was like 'I love it. I don't care. I love it.' I'm proud of that; I think that's really nice." [Daily Express]
• Wesley Snipes' is appealing an "unreasonable" three-year prison sentence. He was convicted last year of failing to file his income tax returns for three years, but his lawyers argued today that he should have been granted a hearing to decide whether the trial should have been in New York instead of Florida. During the trial, Snipes explained that he's an idealistic artist "unschooled in the science of law and finance." [AP]
• The IRS issued a tax lien against Joe Francis for about $34,000,000 and now he's asking a judge to order the agency to unfreeze his money because he's on the brink of bankruptcy. [TMZ]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer says his client won't agree voluntarily to being extradited to the U.S. "We also maintain that Mr Polanski did not face a fair trial in Los Angeles," he said. "For all these reasons, among others, his position remains unchanged: he will not accept being extradited to the United States." [Reuters]
• On a radio show Rihanna said of her relationship with Chris Brown, "There are a lot of ... places that we've been to together, music, different things that come up that are reminders of your ex... When [his music] comes on the radio, I don't ... turn it off. I like his music... I've gotten over it, but there are definitely constant reminders ... songs that were our favorite songs, or hit songs." [People]
• Halle Berry, who has experienced domestic abuse herself, says of Rihanna, "Any time a woman frees herself from that kind of bondage and that kind of situation I'm proud." [Access Hollywood]
• Ha. In this video from four yeas ago Taylor Lautner says, "My dad says I can't date until I'm 28, but I'll have to negotiate that one down a little." [People]
• The Roman Catholic Church is bashing Twilight. A Vatican official said, "The theme of vampires in Twilight combines a mixture of excesses that as ever is aimed at young people and gives a heavy esoteric element. It is once again that age-old trick or ideal formula of using extremes to make an impact at the box office. This film is nothing more than a moral vacuum with a deviant message and as such should be of concern." [Contact Music]
• New Moon made $26.3 million during midnight showings at North American box offices last night, breaking the record set by Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. [Reuters]
• Susan Boyle said she was "shocked" when she lost America's Got Talent: "Sure, I mean, I am thrilled for Diversity; they deserved it. But I was working so hard, lost in the midst of all the excitement and yes, I felt the dream may be over after not picking up the winner's prize. Who would not?" [CBS News]
• Dave Navarro says he's a fan of his ex-wife Carmen Electra's girl-on-girl strip/sex tape. [TMZ]
• "You can't make music as a famous person," says John Mayer. "Famous people make really bad records – so I make music as a musician. I've read people say I was the shit, and I've read people say I am shit. I don't have to prove anything any more – all I have to do is play. Now my motivation is not so that people know my name, it's not so I can make money, it's not so I can meet girls – my motivation is to prove to people that you can buck the trend: that it's not an absolute that if you can be really successful, then you're gonna start sucking." [The Guardian]
• Yesterday, Rex Lee, who plays Lloyd on Entourage said crew members "occasionally" make fun of his ethnicity and homosexuality on set. The show's creator Doug Ellin says he's "shocked and horrified" and "will be speaking to everybody before we start filming again in March. It's not something condoned or acceptable." [TMZ]
• We can't handle any more Real Housewives drama, but if you want to know about the "infidelity, booze brawls, computer hacking," and physical threats" involved in new Orange County cast member Alexis Bellino's divorce read on: [Star]
• Derek Hough says his sister Julianne Hough broke up with Chuck Wicks because, "She's 21 years old and her career is skyrocketing right now and it's tough to sustain a relationship, especially with somebody who's so much older than her." [People]
• Ashley Jensen, who recently became a mother, said: "To be honest, I'm stumbling from day to day at the moment. Just getting to grips with feeding and not sleeping. It's all about routine, and it's very all-consuming. I had to feed him before I came out, which is why I was a little bit late, even though he wasn't really due a feed. And now I'm worried about whether my breasts are going to start lactating! You can't be away from him for too long. One thing it has given me is a real respect for womankind. Giving birth is amazing, and such a great leveller. It doesn't matter who you are – whether you're Mrs Beverly Hills with your Botox, or someone living in a caravan in Idaho. You both go through that." [The Independent]
• "I think for me the most satisfying thing is going out with my first headlining tour and having every show sell out. That was something that I never dreamed would be so quick to happen. Putting Madison Square Garden on sale and having it be sold out in 59 seconds. Like I can't believe that. I'm still completely blown away by that." — Taylor Swift [CNN]
• Eva Mendes says she was excited to work on Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, "Because Werner Herzog has been on my hit list for a while. I think he's a cinematic god and I think he's unparalleled. I think he's so prolific and he's such an iconoclast-you know, he's it. Working with him was a dream come true. I know that [Nicholas Cage] felt similarly. Obviously, I worked with Nic on Ghost Rider-a big popcorn movie-which is nothing like this. But I got to know Nic and the way he works and I really just like him as a person so I knew his personality and I thought, "Oh gosh, him and Werner Herzog together? They're going to kill it." [Maxim]
• Gayle King onOprah Winfrey ending her show: "I think that Oprah always makes the best decision for herself. I really do. And I have a feeling she will come up with some things to do. She has a very full life … We don't need to worry about her filling her time, I promise you that! Life is good for her." [People]

[Los Angeles, November 19. Image via Getty]

• How do we feel about the fact that Miley Cyrus dressed as Julia Roberts' Pretty Woman hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold character for an '80s party to celebrate her 17th birthday Wednesday night? [Page Six]

• ANTM winner Nicole Fox had a "secret" meeting with Robert Pattinson… meaning, she ran into him backstage at Regis & Kelly. She says: "I was backstage going to the bathroom-in a bathroom I probably wasn't supposed to be using. But when I came out, [Pattinson] was in the hallway, like two feet away from me, [just] standing there. He was surrounded by his throng of people. And so I didn't want to feel like a dorky fangirl. I just looked down at my shoes and walked away." Of course Nicole admits: "I haven't seen the Twilight movies… Perhaps I will begin to watch [them] now that I saw him in real life." [E!]
• Madonna visited a "lawless favela" in Rio — and wore a bullet-proof vest under her leather jacket. Doesn't she know that music makes the people come together? Doesn't she know that music makes the bourgeoisie and the rebel? [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's guard dog, Floyd, attacked a flight attendant on a private jet; and an animal behaviorist says the German Shepherd is a menace who needed counseling. [NY Daily News]
• Monday is the series finale of Jon & Kate Plus 8, and in the ep, the two "continue to make the transition into single parenthood." Kate takes the kids to milk a cow; Jon takes them to a fire station. [NY Daily News]
• MSNBC's Courtney Hazlett suggests that this Thanksgiving, we should be grateful for the end of Jon & Kate. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer says while the director is imprisoned in Switzerland, his wife and two children are "very upset psychologically by this separation that is a true heartbreak" for them. [MSNBC via AP]
• Tila Tequila says her naked Ustream rant — which has since been removed from the interwebs — was caused by "flashbacks" and "pressure" related to her allegedly violent incident with her ex, Shawne Merriman. [TMZ]
• Lady Gaga is set to do some songs at this year's Royal Variety Performance — which is attended by the Queen. This column questions whether she will actually pretended to stab herself to death while playing the piano and then hang from the ceiling, covered in blood — when the Queen is watching. [Daily Mail]
• Remember when hip-hop had beef? Beanie Sigel and Jay-Z are bringing it back. [Gatecrasher]
• Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens — known in the tween mags as Zanessa — have not broken up, despite rumors. Things are going well, they are rich and young and sexy and happy, etc, etc, etc. [Us]
• Jon Gosselin's lawyer says Kate Major's lawsuit is a joke. Finally we agree on something! [Radar Online]
• Audrina Patridge from The Hills and Mark Sallin, aka Puck from Glee: Spotted flirting and leaving a party together. [Page Six]
• Breaking: Amber Rose spotted without Kanye. [Page Six]
• Kathy Hilton has been in touch with the Jacksons and says that Paris, Prince and Blanket are "wonderful" and their "grandmother is incredible" and they "could not be in better hands." [People]
• Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate testified yesterday, saying that she was living in a West Virginia motel around the time a police chief allegedly broke into her home in Ohio. [NY Post]
• Fergie, the Duchess of York, went to Turkey last year with daughter Princess Eugenie to investigate the treatment of mentally and physically disabled children in orphanages. The Duchess wore a dark wig and headscarf and posed as an aid worker to get the story for a TV exposé; now she's been served papers and may have to stand trial in Turkey — she's is accused of breaking laws that ban secret filming and trespassing on government property in the country. [Mirror]
• Jordin Sparks had an appendectomy yesterday. [NY Post]
• Sigourney Weaver believes that the James Cameron film Avatar will make all the money back, because people will see it several times. She also says Cameron was "always sweet" to her during Aliens. [NY Mag]
• The Jonas Brothers are promoting Xbox 360 with Jonas-centric ads. [NY Times]
• "Do lesbians rule Hollywood? Ask Jane Lynch." [Guardian]
• This video of Hayden Panettiere is bukkake/facial-esque. [The Life Files]
• Ruh-roh: Eddie Cibrian is suing Life & Style, because the mag published stories which allegedly "falsely portray Eddie as being unfaithful to LeAnn Rimes, as currently being in a romantic relationship with [some other woman] and as having abandoned his children." Can they get out of the lawsuit if, at the end of each story, the copy reads, "Aoccirding to a source"? [TMZ]
• Sadie Frost is publishing her autobiography, which will probably have details about her BFF Kate Moss, the catty fashion world, and ex husband Jude Law. [Daily Express]
• When Jamie Cullum said that girlfriend Sophie Dahl "has a face for radio," he was probably joking. [Daily Express]
• Uma Thurman will play Robert Pattinson's wife in a film called Bel Ami, based on a Guy de Maupassant's short story. [The Hollywood Reported]
• James Van Der Beek has filed for divorce from his wife of six years. [USA Today]
• James Caan has filed for divorce from his wife of 14 years. [USA Today]
• At the link, Freddie Mercury's mother talks about her son eighteen years after his death. [BBC News]
• "I think probably the first thing that was an incredible hurdle was that I wasn't going to be able to do this privately like most people, and that took a really long time to get over." — Chaz Bono, on the hardest part of his sex change. [People]
• "She sent me sexy pictures of herself in a bikini and stuff, but nothing worse than the stuff you find now by just Googling her name." — one of Carrie Prejean's ex boyfriends — and not the one she sent the "solo sex tape" to. [E!]
• "It was scary, but it was so much fun. It was great seeing that we were all feeling the same way. There was a great support system on that set, all the actors with each other and with Rob [Marshall]. I had danced classical ballet before, so this was very different from what I had studied. We had a room in our building and we were all taking different classes. We would all pass each other in the hallway. All day, training. We all felt so free and so happy. Music was so present everywhere. That elevates people, music. It was so addictive, that experience." — Penelope Cruz on the six-week rehearsal period she, Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman and Marion Cotillard had for Nine, in which they took dancing and singing lessons. [USA Today]
• "What people don't realize is, I am managing my image, more than maybe the editor of OUT magazine likes to give anybody credit for. My team is a team. And I really feel fortunate that 19 Management and Simon Fuller said to me, from the get-go, 'We want to do what you want to do. You need to tell us how you want to do things, what interests you have,' and they've been incredibly supportive of me. I really mean it. I'm not being puppeted around. I didn't want to jump onto a gay magazine as my first thing, because I feel like that's putting myself in a box and limiting myself. It was my desire to stay away from talking about certain political and civil rights issues because I'm not a politician. I'm an entertainer. That is not my area of expertise. I can talk about relationships and personal experiences because as an artist those things involve writing lyrics and that part of my process. But I didn't feel comfortable talking about the March on Washington. I didn't feel comfortable, so I asked my publicist to ask the interviewer to stay away from the political questions. I take full responsibility for that. I think that the editor has his agenda and has his opinions, which I respect, but they're not necessarily my opinions. And I wish there was a little respect for that. Not every gay man is the same gay man." — Adam Lambert. [EW]
• "I've never told anyone this before. This is a hair scoop. Shower before you go to bed, and then sleep on your wet hair. Towel-dry it. In the morning, it's all messed up naturally. If you have that messed-up thing going when you wake up, it's more willing to stay that way. That's Zac's hair tip." — Zac Efron. [Time]
• "[When I was younger] I wasn't confident in my sexuality but I had these thoughts, these desires and these passions inside me. I never knew how to exorcise them until probably the first time I had sex, and it was a great experience. I felt like, why should I be so hindered about this? [I thought about porn] …I thought, why should sex have to be dirty or scary? And if it is, why can't you turn that into a positive thing and work through that sensually and find something good out of that, something pleasurable." — Sasha Grey. [Telegraph]
• "I would not say that I lost faith in Twitter, I would say that I lost faith in my ability to negotiate it. I don't know about you but whenever I read a blog I do not let my eye drop below half the screen in case I accidentally hit the bit where the comments reside. Of all the stinking, sliding, scuttling, weird, entomological creatures that inhabit the floor of the internet those comments on blogs are the most unbearable, almost beyond imagining. Their resentment, their desire to be heard at the most vituperative level, at the most unpleasant and malevolent, genuinely ill-willed malevolent, level is terrifying and I am very often simply not able to cope with that. Twitter is usually not like that... [but] I found that the @ mentions were just getting... I could see these comments that would just make me upset." — Stephen Fry. [Guardian]
• "I've had some bad moments where I've woken up under a car with the engine still running." — Zach Galifianakis. [Page Six]
• "She wears really, really attractive underwear." — Bono on his wife. Well, not on. But maybe. [Gatecrasher]
• "They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy." — Tina Fey. [Page Six]

• Nicole Richie has been complaining that she doesn't feel well for days, and now she's been hospitalized at Cedars-Sinai for pneumonia. Her rep says she's "doing well."

• On Sunday she Tweeted: "ok cold, it's been 6 days. Lets part ways graciously & keep it moving." [People]
• Amy Winehouse has spent a third night in the hospital after being admitted for mixing cold medications. [People]
• Michael Barrett has been officially charged with one count of interstate stalking for allegedly filming Erin Andrews in hotels around the country. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband Ojani Noa claims he's been receiving death threats since threatening to sell the video they made during their honeymoon. "She's having him followed. We just ran the license plate of the car . . . and it goes directly back to Jennifer Lopez. Ojani's scared," says his lawyer. [N.Y. Post]
• Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt reportedly got into such a bad fight this morning that the police were called. An eyewitness said Doug got in his car, but Paris screamed, "don't go, don't go." He got out of the car and they started shoving each other. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton denies that she and Doug Reinhart were fighting. She said: "Doug and I were in bed, sound asleep, when Doug's houseguests from hell got into an argument. We had nothing to do with it. Doug told the LAPD that his guests' fight was over and that we had nothing to do with it." [TMZ]
• Kate Major is planning to sue Jon Gosselin for breach of contract for violating their handwritten agreement. Kate resigned from her position at Star because, "Jon told her he would match the salary she was making at the magazine if she came to work for him as his personal employee," says a source. [Radar Online]
• Cindy Crawford's alleged extortionist, Edis Kayalar, cannot be extradited to the U.S. He turned himself in to German police on Monday, but the country doesn't have an extradition policy with the U.S. He is still facing charges because he's accused of emailing about transferring the money into a German bank account, which is against the law. [TMZ]
• The court has notified Roman Polanski's lawyers that a request has been made to allow TV coverage of his bail hearing on December 10. A judge hasn't decided if the cameras will be allowed or not. [N.Y.T.]
• Sarah Palin invited Levi Johnston to her house for Thanksgiving dinner on Oprah but he won't be attending. He told Playgirl it's "a nice gesture, but she didn't mean it." He said having dinner with the Palins would be "awkward." [People]
• The Sarah Palin interview gave Oprah Winfrey her biggest audience in two years. [Politico]
• We thought everyone knew this already, but Radar Online his confirmed that Carrie Prejean was over 18 when she took those nude pictures by analyzing her tan lines in various states of undress. It's unclear why she couldn't have tan lines at 17. [Radar Online]
• Carrie Prejean's dad says of her sex tapes, "The personal information they are bringing out against Carrie is irrelevant to anything." Will Prejean continues, "Carrie is supposed to be doing all of these TV appearances to promote her book, and everyone can only focus on the tapes... I'm not someone who looks backwards. I think we need to look to the future. Why isn't anyone talking about the charity work and all of the charitable organizations that Carrie's involved in?" [E!]
• In an interview on Good Morning America, Janet Jackson admitted that Michael Jackson's family staged several interventions about his drug use but "weren't very successful." She says he understood "that it was out of love," but in these situations, "people tend to be in denial." [TMZ]
• Somehow "Michael Jackson's estate" is fighting with Janet Jackson because her new song "Make Me" includes the line "Don't stop till you get it up," even though the people in charge of MJ's estate say they're unaware of the dispute. [ET]
• Sources say Evan Chandler, the father of the boy who accused Michael Jackson of molesting him, had been estranged from his family for three years before he committed suicide earlier this month and had changed his appearance with plastic surgery to avoid a backlash from the case. [Radar Online]
• Michael Jackson's kids attended the L.A. premiere of New Moon and avoided the paparazzi by sneaking in a side door. A friend says, "They loved it." [Showbiz 411]
• Whoa. Miley Cyrus may be the only 16-year-old who isn't into Twilight. "I've never seen it and nor will I ever," said Miley. "I don't believe in it... I don't like vampires. I don't like the wolf that pops out of the screen when I'm watching my TV at night. I don't like it. I don't want anything to do with it. I don't like the shirts. I don't like any of it." [People]
• Kristen Stewart says her character Bella "Has a lot of really innate female qualities... For a character in literature, I think it's awesome that so many girls can look up to her, because she's fickle and unabashedly (so)." [Reuters]
• Robert Pattinson says in his pre-Twilight life, "I loved driving around L.A. I know not a lot of people say that, but if you don't have to get anywhere, L.A. is the best place to drive 'round in. I used to have this little car, a convertible ... and I really do miss doing that, as the sun is going down, driving over the mountains. It's a great thing and I kind of do miss that a little bit. It's not really the same thing when you've got 10 cars following you." [AP]
• "I don't think there's something particularly alluring or topical about vampires right now that our generation takes to. I think it's more just that Stephenie [Meyer] wrote these characters with really creative, really gloried character traits. He's a vampire - he sucks blood and all that - but being a vampire is really just a symbol of who he is. I think if you take all of the mythical aspects away from the story, these characters would still be interesting. And they'd still stand. That's what people have become addicted to. At least concerning the fans. I don't think it's a vampire thing." — Kristen Stewart [Time]
• New Moon director Chris Weitz says he's quitting making movies after doing one more film. "Every time I make a movie I'm pretty much convinced it's the last time I'm going to be able to do it and that really it's a rather silly occupation to undertake," he says. "But I think I have maybe one more film in me." [People]
• Pamela Anderson says she has told her sons about the sex tape she made with Tommy Lee. "I knew the kids were going to watch [Borat] and there was a reference to the tape in the movie and they're that age and, you know, people are going start saying things," she said. "I just said, 'Look, Mummy and Daddy were massively in love, we videotaped everything, everything was videotaped, and you're probably going hear about something at school.'" [The Sun]
• Pamela Anderson says, "I've tried it (cocaine) and I don't like it. I'm completely hyper and it actually doesn't work for me. I've dabbled in things." [Contact Music]
• Nicolas Cage, a U.N. ambassador, went to a jail in Kenya to talk to the suspected Somali pirates. "Then I'm in a position where I can actually make some sense and talk about it when I go back to the States where I go talk to different U.N. councils and discuss the matter," Cage said. [AP]
• Andrew Lloyd Webber has be re-admitted to the hospital after developing an infection following surgery for prostate cancer. [AP]
• Penny Marshall has liver cancer, according to The National Enquirer. "Most people would have been devastated, crying on the shoulder of friends and family. But not Penny - she was angry!" said a family source. "The last thing Penny wants is for anyone to feel sorry for her." [National Enquirer]
• Jennifer Hudson will play Winnie Mandela in Winnie, Clint Eastwood's movie about Nelson Mandela's ex-wife. "I was compelled and moved when I read the script," Hudson said. "Winnie Mandela is a complex and extraordinary woman, and I'm honored to be the actress asked to portray her. This is a powerful part of history that should be told." [People]
• Clint Eastwood says the U.S. is "becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits..." [Daily Express]
• The Black Eyed Peas' manager, Liborio Molina, won't face charges for punching Perez Hilton in the back of the head. Here's what Molina wrote: 'I apologize for what I did on June 22 of 2009, even though you engaged in highly offensive comments, including a homophobic slur to my clients, I acknowledge that these kinds of issues should not be resolved through a physical response." [TMZ]
• Liborio Molina has also agreed not to contact Perez HIlton and cannot carry any weapons for a year. [AP]
• Precious will be awarded the Producers Guild of America's Stanley Kramer Award, which goes to a film that tackles provocative social issues in a constructive way. [N.Y.T.]
• Kirstie Alley Tweeted about being the butt of Conan O'Brien's fat jokes saying, "ONE BITCH I'm gonna knck [sic] out next time I see her is CONAN O'BITCH O'BRIAN [sic]. That guy acts like I bit his dick off." Star Jones Tweeted back: "You know Conan probably 'wanted some' and you chumped him...I know a few brothers from Brooklyn who owe me! LOL" [Us]
• Roger Moore was named the 2009 Person of the Year by the U.K. branch of PETA for campaigning against foie gras. [Reuters]
• Mariah Carey was late to the British show This Morning, so host Phillip Schofield Tweeted: "Sitting here twiddling our thumbs waiting for Mariah Carey. la la la laaa," before adding: "It's her album... which we will talk about IF she hurries up!" [The Sun]
• Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair got into a fight at a press conference in Australia. Some say it was staged to promote a wrestling even, but in the picture at the link Hogan's head is coated in blood. [TMZ]
• Fantasia Barrino's fans are upset because she's dating a married father of two who left his wife and kids to move in with her. [Star]
• Robin Williams, who split from his wife of 19 years in 2008, has found love again with graphic designer Susan Schneider. A source said, "Robin truly believes it's no coincidence that Susan came into his life right before his heart operation. He told a pal, 'She saved me - she helped me heal.'" [Daily Express]
• Tyra Banks tried to get model Jessica White, who has been seen holding hands with Sean Penn, to confirm that they're dating, but she said, "I hold hands with my friends." [Us]
• Daniel Radcliffe will guest star in The Simpsons' "Treehouse of Horror XXI" next season. [ONTD]
• Hugh Jackman has forgiven his mother for abandoning the family when he was young, and was spotted spending time with her in New York yesterday. "My mother was not well," Jackman has said. "I always hoped she would come back, but I never blamed her for anything that went wrong. At the time, I was miserable and angry, and my brothers and I used to fight all the time." [News.com.au]
• Carrie Underwood says she isn't moving in with her boyfriend Mike Fisher. "Call me old-fashioned. He's there. I'm here... We're both doing our thing and it's good. The next guy I move in with will be my hubby. Whoever that is. I'm not saying it's going to be him." [People]
• Jessica Simpson Tweeted about her sister Ashlee Simpson-Wentz's Broadway debut: "I can't wait to watch @ashsimpsonwentz on broadway in all of her glory!!! I get chillbumps from toes to noggin thinking about it!!! YAY!!!!!" [Us]
• Pete Wentz said, "I just spent the last weekend – Mom was rehearsing for Chicago – being Dad without a nanny, without Mom, and didn't burn the house down, so I'm pretty excited about that." [People]
• Jessica Szohr says "we had fun" shooting the Gossip Girl threesome. "Penn is really easy to work with and very professional and [so is] Hilary," Szohr said. "We just went with it and tried to make it as easy as possible." [Us]
• Sandra Bullock says her family didn't like her going blonde for The Blind Side. "It was entertaining for a couple of months but it's not really my color palette," she said. Her husband didn't like it either. "Thank God an important person in my life didn't want me being blonde. He was like, ‘I don't like the blonde on you. You want him to say that!" [People]
• "I want boobs, a gentle six-pack and a perky butt," says Amanda Peet. "If I could choose an ideal body, I'd take Gisele Bunchen's. I challenge anyone to say she wouldn't want Gisele's body, deep down... Actually, I'd take a number of people's bodies. I'd take Jennifer Aniston's, too." [People]
• Susan Sarandon is going to meet table tennis legend Jan-Ove Waldner when she travels to Stockholm to receive an award next week. "It was on her initiative, we just made the effort to find him," says Git Scheynius, director of the Stockholm Film Festival. "She's actually involved in a table tennis club in New York — that's one of her greatest hobbies." [Reuters]
• "I feel like I have learned a lot. The movies could not be more different," says Penelope Cruz of her upcoming films Nine and Broken Embraces. "To be able to sing for the first time professionally and dance, it was a scary experience. Broken Embraces is like three women in one. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world." [Reuters]
• Vera Farmiga says she was drawn to the film Up In The Air because, "I thought it was a refreshing spin on feminine desire. It's something you don't too often get to see, a woman being so demanding and libertine and unapologetic about her sexual prowess. She's an adventuress; she's a full-blown romantic operative. That was pretty exciting. And tricky. Because usually, female characters who are so masculine in their needs can come across as lacking dignity. Alex represents to me what's so hard about being a woman, post-feminist. Wanting it all: a family, a career. That sort of pendulum between romance and respectability, virgin-whore, all these lady problems we have to contend with and there will never be an answer to. A modern heroine of sorts." [L.A.T.]
• Heidi Klum says she's wearing something sexy when she hosts the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, even though she wants to lose weight. "I have some great one-of-a-kind latex pieces that were made for me. I figure why not? I embrace that I have more curves right now," said Klum, "I'm definitely one of the heaviest of the bunch of the 30 girls in the show. And I still have 20 lbs. to go... But why not? I like my outfit. I like the way it looks on me." [People]
• "I have a really big scrapbook. I still actually have these notes that Marty Scorsese wrote to me while we were making The Age of Innocence. I save everything. I definitely have that gene in me. Someone was telling me about this show called Hoarders. I was like, 'Oh no!' I save everything. I'm scared I might be a hoarder." — Winona Ryder [Daily Express]
• Martha Stewart says Rachael Ray is "more of an entertainer ... with her bubbly personality, than she is a teacher, like me. That's not what she's professing to be," adding, "To me, she professed that she could — cannot bake... She — just did a new cookbook which is just a re-edit of a lot of her old recipes. She — and that's not good enough for me." Rachael Ray responded: "Why would it make me mad?... Her skill set is far beyond mine. That's simply the reality of it... I'd rather eat Martha's than mine, too." [Us]

• Jennifer Lopez is suing her ex-husband Ojani Noa for $10 million and demanding he stop production of the film How I Married Jennifer Lopez, which includes video of the couple in "sexual situations" on their honeymoon.

• A judge has granted a temporary restraining order blocking distribution of the film until the next hearing, which is scheduled for tomorrow. [Reuters, AP]
• Michael Lohan has released another taped phone call. This one is between Michael and Lindsay Lohan's former assistant, Jenni Muro, who says she thinks Lindsay may hurt herself. Muro says she wants to quit because, "I am trying to save your daughter's life every day," but, "I don't want it on my watch either" if she does kill herself. She also calls Lindsay's relationship with Samantha Ronson "unhealthy" and "an addiction." [Radar Online]
• Jenni Muro says she's planning on sending Michael Lohan a cease and desist letter for secretly taping their conversations. She calls his behavior "way beyond low." [TMZ]
• The Consumer Product Safety Commission says Jon Gosselin should have never let his five-year-olds on his ATV because, "Children under 6 should never be on an ATV — either as a driver or a passenger... Children are involved in about one-third of all ATV-related deaths and hospital emergency room injuries." [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin is counter suing TLC for $5 million. [Radar Online]
• Justin Timberlake's lawyer was furious in court today that a judge is demanded JT testify in court if he wants his restraining order against alleged stalker Marty Singer made permanent. He says Justin is currently filming a movie and can't miss a day to appear in court. [TMZ]
• The judge granted Justin Timberlake a permanent restraining order after his lawyer submitted a written declaration from Justin. [TMZ]
• In the video at the link, stripper Nicole Forrester is shown taking the polygraph test, which supposedly found she's telling the truth about sleeping with Josh Duhamel. She says, "I honestly didn't know he was married... I said, 'Are you Fergie's husband?' He was like, 'Don't ask me any personal questions. You know what you know so let's just drop it.'" [Radar Online]
• Fergie and Josh Duhamel spent the weekend apart because she was working in the U.K., so clearly their marriage is on the rocks. [Us]
• Jermaine Dupri and Janet Jackson are back together and there are rumors that they're planning a wedding, but he says, "They've been saying that for years and you don't see a ring on my finger... I guess it just sounds good to have that rumor this time of the year or something." [People]
• Just so you know, Jackie Jackson say's Dr. Arnie Klein's admission that Michael Jackson liked to pee in cups in front of other people is not true. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's former doctors are feuding. Dr. Steven Hoefflin says Dr. Arnold Klein, "knew Michael was a narcotic addict yet he repeatedly injected him, probably with others in his office assisting him, 51 times over three months with a minimum of 100mg of Demerol and charged him a large amount of money." [TMZ]
• Madonna is heading to Rio to visit the city's slums. State Governor Sergio Cabral says, "She will get to know some social projects; she is enchanted with Rio and wants to help." [Reuters]
• The manager of Guy Richie's London pub The Punch Bowl is asking Richie's celebrity friends to sign a petition to keep the bar open to fight local residents who say the bar is too noisy. [Daily Express]
• In her new book Carrie Prejean accuses Miss California USA director Keith Lewis of pushing her to get a boob job and says he ran his hands all over her body and examined her breasts while she was standing in Shanna Moakler's living room in a bikini in front of other pageant judges. [Radar Online]
• Oksana Grigorieva says Mel Gibson is a "very hands-on" father to their newborn daughter. "He has been very dtoing and nurturing," she says. [People]
• Paris Hilton is threatening to sue a New Zealand company for advertising empty billboard space by posting her picture with the word "vacant" stamped across it. [Daily Express]
• Russell Brand is selling his London home and you can check out pictures of the interior here: [London Brick Work]
• Ashee Simpson will play Roxie Hart in the Broadway production of Chicago for six weeks starting in December. She has already played the role in London. [People]
• John Travolta says that, since his son Jett's death, "We've been working very hard every day as a family to heal... We have our own way of doing it, and it has been helping." Kelly Preston says the family has been receiving an "outpouring of love from, really, worldwide. It's been our friends, our family, our church. We partake in spiritual counseling pretty much daily." [ET]
• Rihanna made a surprise appearance last night at Jay-Z's concert at UCLA. Watch it here: [Perez Hilton]
• Kristen Stewart says since she started filming of New Moon Taylor Lautner has, "Literally become a different person. He's just grown up. He's so confident and the nicest guy that I've ever met. I know that I'm using this grammatically incorrect but he's the funnest guy I've ever hung out with. So he's great. I'm so proud of him." [People]
• Taylor Lautner was asked if it's weird to date Taylor Swift because they have the same name. "It gets confusing definitely," he said. "And it's weird calling somebody your name." [Extra]
• Backstage at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 25th Anniversary Concert Art Garfunkel asked for a tissue. A staffer said they were running late but could stop in a bathroom. "He literally stopped walking and refused to go another step until he got a tissue," a source said. "He was behaving like such a child. He was very agitated and angry. And this is a guy who's been busted for marijuana possession! Shouldn't he be calmer?" He was offered a paper towel but threw it back yelling, "I said a tissue!" [Radar Online]
• Ryan Seacrest's alleged stalker, Chidi Uzomah, sent the campus of Cal State Dominquez Hills into a panic last year when he walked around in camouflage holding a dummy rifle after ROTC training. [TMZ]
• The Disney Channel has ordered a second season of Jonas, the Jonas Brother's show. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Kate Winslet has been nominated for a European Film Award for The Reader. [Daily Express]
• When asked if the rumors that she's starring in Resident Evil: Afterlife are true Eva Mendes said, "God, no! No, no, no! Never!" [Daily Express]
• Though it was assumed that Joe Halderman would try to make a plea agreement in the David Letterman extortion case, his lawyer said, "there's nothing in the pipeline other than preparing a case for trial." [N.Y. Observer]
• Tiffani Theissen and her husband, Brady Smith, are expecting their first baby in May. [People]
• Maksim Chmerkovskiy has already been voted off DWTS, but he advises, "Mya needs to step it up because she has been a frontrunner the whole time and now she's kind of ‘pfft.'" [People]
• Lamar Odom was in a car accident in 2007 and offered the victim a settlement, but she refused and has filed a lawsuit against him. [TMZ]
• A judge has ruled that Warren Beatty can go ahead with his lawsuit against the Tribune Co over the right to the Dick Tracy comic strip. [Reuters]
• Mario Lopez introduced his girlfriend Courtney Mazza to his mom at a recent dinner in San Diego. "Everyone was laughing and having a good time," says an eyewitness. "There was never an awkward moment." [Star]
• W editor Kevin West said during her cover shoot Demi Moore, "was like a newlywed in love, talking about how wonderful [Ashton] was and how much the relationship meant to her. She basically said when they met it was love at first sight." [W]
• Jennie Garth says her character won't break up Debbie and Harry Wilson on 90210. "I'm not a big fan of that storyline," she said. "It's just bizarre and weird. I don't think it's going to go anywhere. I'm not going to let Kelly be a homewrecker, so there's no place for it to really go." [E!]
• Leighton Meester says she's never been intimidated by fashion. "My mother always had a great sense of style. I always looked up to her. Ever since [Gossip Girl] I can differentiate between the character and myself. It gave me a launching point to develop my own sense of style," she says. [W]
• Peter Andre is still mad at Jordan for revealing that she had an abortion during their marriage. "Pete has always been passionately anti-abortion and Jordan knows that," says a source. "It's terrible she feels the need to talk about this so publicly. It drags up a whole lot of emotions for Pete when he just wants to move on. Pete keeps thinking about those lost children." [News Of The World]
• Sophia Loren says of working with Daniel Day-Lewis on Nine, "Daniel is incredible. He is hypnotic, magical, beautiful and brilliant; but he is also very scary. Every time I did a scene with him he was so deep and so real that it was almost intimidating." [Daily Express]
• Last night's third-season finale of Mad Men drew 2.32 million viewers, making it the most watched finale in the show's history. [Media Week]
• In an interview with John Slattery and Talia Balsam, who are married in real life and divorced on Mad Men, Slattery says it's different working with your spouse because, "You don't have to create a history – we did that scene where I have a heart attack, she comes in and I mean I fell apart because you're pretending to have a heart attack, it's supposed to be scary, you conjure up whatever it is that's going to get you to that place, then Talia walks in and if someone who wasn't Talia walked in playing my wife, it probably wouldn't have been as emotional." [If Magazine]
• Jon Hamm says, "A lot of people, especially this season, are very frustrated and angry with Don and his choices and his decisions. But something to understand about the guy is he's significantly damaged... I do think he loves his family very much. I think he's hard time expressing — or at least maintaining — that and still be true to himself. It's a difficult line to walk. What I enjoy about him as an actor is walking that line. And that's what makes it difficult to watch as a viewer. You're by turns transfixed and repulsed by this guy." [AMC]

The thing about models is that they are rarely the subjects of long, investigative, detailed magazine profiles, leavened with biographical information about their parents' backgrounds and whatever psychological tells the writer can seize upon during his or her reporting. Models are mostly seen in pictures. They're there to entertain our projections, and that's easiest done mute. It's celebrities who are endlessly, redundantly storied, profiled over and over again until such mundanities as what Leighton likes to eat for lunch and the fact that Angelina has a pilot's license have been entirely too thoroughly plumbed for metaphoric depth. The glimpse-of-fame profile is an essential part of the celebrity-sartorial complex, but the problems with it are manifold. As the celebrity profiles proliferate, the pool of unreported information that might actually be interesting or affecting to a wide audience shrinks. The pool of under-covered celebrities — who are (of course) pretty and (nearly always) white and (duh) thin enough to fit sample sizes in the standard lavish photo shoot — dwindles, too, until we're stuck reading about the Deep Thoughts of reality TV stars and teenagers ad nauseam. And as women's magazines' reliance on Big Cover Stars to anchor their issues grows, the conditions imposed by the army of protective flacks — writer approval, preset no-go topics, limitations on access — become more byzantine. (Hence why Elle spiked even this pretty tame profile of Jennifer Lopez at the request of her reps. Hence why you'll never read about the night Charlize Theron's mom shot and killed her dad while 15-year-old Charlize watched in a women's magazine. You will instead be told that she's really pretty, and much too polite to be thought of as having opinions, or as Vogue puts it, "far be it from her to ruin a perfectly nice luncheon trying to prove that she's a serious person.") Models get talked about as images but don't tend to get covered as people. Celebrities talk all too much, but far be it from them to say anything interesting.

So into this morass of diminishing returns steps Lara Stone, and it is just so weird to read a story that starts off in the standard mawkish key of celebrity profile writing — obligatory meaningless quote from Mario Testino; repetitive physical description along the lines of "naked Venus...austere, Flemish face...Her breasts are so perfect even I found it hard not to stare at them"; entirely too much attention paid to what she is wearing — before switching codes entirely.

What's the longest she has stayed in one place in the past two years, asks Vogue's Vassi Chamberlain, after Stone confesses she has spent seven days at a stretch, max, in her London apartment since moving to the city six months ago.

She answers without hesitating: "Four weeks." Was that on holiday? "No. That was to rehab." ... "I am a complete alcoholic," she says. "It used to be so easy to tell someone, 'Get me a bottle of vodka,' and they'd run and get it."

Okay then! Consider our expectations raised.

In the story — which you cannot read at British Vogue's website, but which people have taken the time to scan here and here — Stone goes on to make various statements which aren't "bold" or "interesting," with all the self-consciousness those imply, so much as they are just affectingly real. She doesn't sound like she's talking from a well-rehearsed script when pressed about controversial industry practices, as can the otherwise clever Lily Cole. Cole recently claimed in the Times of London, "I saw eating problems more at my school than in that industry. I do get that there is an aesthetic — it changes generation by generation. There's always been an ideal, from the Fifties or the Eighties," which is an ingenious dodge of the size-zero question and a very disingenuous thing to say. Stone, who despite her 34"-24"-35" measurements is sometimes considered one of the larger straight-size models, calls herself "fat" and says, "If I could have the discipline to be super-skinny, I would be. I think of dieting, then I eat pizza. I'm a woman, and every woman wants to be skinnier. Unfortunately." Cole, testy: "I think drugs are taken all over the world. And I've never really experienced it." Stone, realistic: "I never really wanted to be that model on drugs, the sort who gives head for a line of coke."

Stone isn't interested in running interference for an industry that treated her with standard disinterest for the better part of a decade before she, at the improbable age of 23, started to enjoy breakout success. As a teenager in Paris, she lived in an Elite model apartment with up to seven other girls. She was not a sensation. "We did 15 castings a day, visiting the same people over and over again. They'd make bitchy comments about us in French, thinking we didn't understand." (Sounds...familiar.) Stone also worked in Japan, where her agency measured her weekly, instructed her never to smile, and contracted her to do up to three shoots a day. Models who got pimples were sent back. Not that Stone is dewy-eyed about model solidarity: she pushed a girl who wouldn't get out of her way at the Jaeger show this season. "I kept saying, 'Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me,' because I had to get to the catwalk, but she just kept posing. So I pushed her. It was only a few stairs." It's not easy to imagine Kate Bosworth confessing to something so human.

"Men don't like me," reports Stone. For all her much-vaunted "curves", she says, "I haven't been on a date in six months." She last dated an investment banker in New York; the end of the relationship coincided with her stint in rehab and her move to London. "I've just started a club with a girlfriend," she reports, "called the We Hate Men But We Can't Be Gay Club."

I Hate Women's Magazine Profiles But Can't Stop Reading Them.

Ones like this are pretty all right, though.

British Vogue [Official Site]
Stone Age [The Fashion Spot]
Charlize Theron At Home On The Range [Vogue]
Time Out: Lily Cole [Times of London]
Behind The Glow [Daily Beast]

Earlier:French Vogue All Lara Stone, All The Time
The 5 Great Lies of Women's Magazines

• Chris Brown sat down with MTV's Sway to discuss his assault on Rihanna, noting that he's still unsure as to how the public perceives him and that he believes that "abuse of any kind is always wrong." [MTV]

• "I'm confused right now as far as the public perception [of me]," Brown tells MTV. "Like, I think with my fans, they still love me, they support me, definitely. You have those people who will support you. So it's kinda like 50/50 for me. I got the people that will come out and support and then the people that don't wanna see me do anything. They basically want me in jail." As for people calling him a "woman beater," Brown says, "I'm human, so when I hear certain things that they say or if I go somewhere and I hear somebody be rude about it, it's just like, 'Man, it's a mistake.' I made a big mistake. I'm learning from it. Like, I'm not saying, 'Who are they to judge?' because, I mean, everybody's entitled to their own opinion on how they feel, but it hurts." [MTV]
• Brown believes that "the details" on what happened between himself and Rihanna should remain "a private matter." [People]
• Taylor Swift says she's ready to host and perform on tonight's Saturday Night Live: "I told all the writers, ‘Don't count anything out. I want to completely go 100 percent in this'. I really, really don't want to be only halfway involved … just because I have a lot of things to do as far as being musical guest and host." [ShowbizSpy]
• Susan Boyle will stop by Dancing With The Stars next week to promote her upcoming album, which is set for release on November 24. "She's excited and happy," her brother, John Boyle, says "She loves America and loves the people. She appreciates their honesty." [People]
• Meanwhile, Boyle says she wasn't aware of what she looked like until she saw herself on television. "I saw this wee wifey with the mad hairdo and the bushy eyebrows and said, 'Hmmm, not really telegenic.' So, I decided to spruce myself up a bit. When I look in the mirror now, I see this sophisticated lady. I'm still a bit like that wee wifey inside, but more refined in some ways. I think any woman would have done the same. Would you want to look like the Hairy Angel? I don't think so." [DailyMail]
• "There are some things that have been really hurtful to me but you have to catch yourself. It's just an image that they're making fun of but it's just difficult to explain that to your children. They've had to defend me and their dad plenty of times. Tommy is an amazing musician, very talented, it doesn't make him a bad father and just because I'm covered in glitter it doesn't mean I'm a bad mum!"-Pamela Anderson [Mirror]
• This could be awesome: Ian McKellen is set to play his fictional brother, "Murray McKellen," in The Academy, an Office-style mockumentary "about a run-down drama school in London." [DailyExpress]
• Kristen Stewart officially graduated from high school on the set of Eclipse just as she was filming graduation scenes for her character, Bella Swan, and so she decided to combine the two: "The other day I was doing a graduation scene on Eclipse and I had just finished high school myself the week before, so I told the crew, 'Hey, just so you know, I'm actually graduating right now, and I'm not going to have another ceremony.' So I took a mock picture with an extra. I literally asked the actor to come back and shake my hand and hand me the diploma while I was dressed in a cap and gown." [DailyExpress]
• Tippi Hedren, who took in Michael Jackson's tigers, Thriller and Sabu, after he passed away, says the animals are doing just fine: "They're just great, and they were beautiful when they came to us. It took awhile to adjust, because anytime anybody moves, it's a period of adjustment. But they're wonderful and very beautiful." [NYDN]
• Robert Zemeckis says he'd like to have the two living Beatles take part in his upcoming remake of Yellow Submarine, but "we haven't gotten the word yet on the two surviving Beatles, whether they're interested in doing it or not." [DailyExpress]
• Joe Jackson is seeking a monthly stipend from his late son Michael's estate in order to help him cover roughly $15,000 a month in expenses. [Yahoo]
• Robert Pattinson says he's not really the romantic type, and that he's never serenaded anyone as "you need to have so much balls to do that, Jesus Christ. I put a flower on someone's locker when I was 15." [E!]
• Jennifer Lopez is planning to sue her ex-husband, Ojani Noa, over his plans to release "How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The JLo and Ojani Noa Story," a film based on the couple's relationship that allegedly includes several hours of home video footage, including scenes from the couple's honeymoon hotel room. [TMZ]
• "One of my favorite things is experiencing the spontaneous moment that only happens once. No matter how many times you perform, you never have the same moment twice. And I love that. I love the magic of that one moment in that one place shared only by myself and all the people who attended that night. It's our special connection. There's nothing like the energy, communication and unity that happens through music. Even if you don't speak the same language, you understand music."- Alicia Keys [Reuters]
• Sienna Miller has reportedly reunited with boyfriend DJ Slinky Wizard: "They seemed very much a couple," says a source, "George was talking about how he was excited about their plans for the night." [JustJared]
• Debra Winans is praising Oprah Winfrey after Oprah decided to ban Bebe Winans, Debra's ex-boyfriend, from the show "until his domestic violence case plays out." Debra gave TMZ the following statement: "It further demonstrates the fact that Oprah continues to be a strong voice against domestic violence and that she's willing to take the steps necessary to defend the defenseless." [TMZ]
• And speaking of Oprah, Stephenie Meyer will be stopping by her show on November 13. [StephenieMeyer]
• Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis are set to have a sex scene together in Darren Aronofsky's upcoming film, Black Swan, but Portman says the scene is "not raunchy - it's extreme." Portman also notes that as she gets older, she's more willing to take certain risks on film: "Previously I was figuring out my own sexual identity, likes and dislikes and all that stuff, and it's weird to be doing stuff on film as you're figuring it out. Also, being a sexual object when you're a kid is really uncomfortable. After The Professional, I was already getting creepy letters." [ONTD]
• For no real reason, here is a ridiculous picture of Jon Gosselin doing yoga. [USMagazine]
• Tim McGraw claims that his wife, Faith Hill is the reason he's still alive, and that without her, "I'd be dead. Oh yeah, I would have partied too hard. I might have caught myself somewhere along the way and put the brakes on. I don't know if I would have gone [to rehab]; I don't think I could have been talked into that during those times." [People]
• Police now claim that 19-year-old Rachel Lee was the ringleader of the so-called "Beverly Hills Burglar Bunch," and that her main motivation was, according to her 18-year-old accomplice, Nick Prugo, to "own the designer wardrobes of the Hollywood celebrities she admired." [NYTimes]
• Reeve Carney has been cast in the role of Peter Parker in Broadway's upcoming Spider-Man musical, Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark. The show, produced by Bono and directed by Julie Taymor is set to open in 2010. [NYDN]
• Eminem will be back on screen in a new 3-D film called Shady Talez, which, according to Entertainment Weekly, "is described as The Twilight Zone meets Creepshow." [EW]
• "I've met endless so-called beautiful people who don't seem to have personalities or a direction in life. They've never been forced to develop their characters because they're viewed as being so attractive. So I think beauty can be a mask."- Megan Fox [ShowbizSpy]