[New York, September 30. Image via Splash.]

[New York, September 29. Image via Splash.]

• Did Samantha Ronson refuse to DJ a lesbian bar because "she doesn't do those kind of venues" ? [Page Six]
• Headline of the day: "Lindsay's MySpace Is Like Her Fake Wedding Ring." [E!]
• Additionally, Lindsay says Joe Francis is "yuck." [E!]
• Did Michael Lohan write a blog in which he calls Samantha Ronson "disgusting" and discusses her toilet paper habits? [The Sun]
• Victoria Beckham says she'd like to have another kid but she's too busy right now. "I don’t want another baby for two years because I’m working so hard on my fashion business. I haven’t got time. We would like another child but it won’t be for a couple of years yet." She also says: "David and I still go out on our own and we have a real laugh together. I love him more now than I did when we first met." Awww. Sniff! [The Sun]
• The Jolie-Pitt Foundation has just donated another $1 million, this time to fund the Human Rights Watch's work in Burma and Zimbabwe. [Perez Hilton]

• It's official! Whitney Port, the girl who was flown to Paris by Condé Nast but could not pronounce Givenchy, has her own spinoff of The Hills. The series starts shooting immediately in New York and will follow Whitney's life working for Diane von Furstenberg. Can Whit hold her own? Can she pronounce Houston Street? All will be revealed in 2009. [E!]
• Shanna Moakler, who was "devastated" when she learned of the plane crash that left her ex-husband badly burned, is spending time with Travis Barker, trying to lift his spirits. [People]
• Will George Clooney come back for the final season of ER? (Hint: No.) [Reuters]
• MTV is working on a "black version" of The Muppets with, who else, Kanye West. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blake Incarcerated says he'd rather stay in jail than go to rehab, probably because you can get drugs in jail. [The Sun]
• Kate Moss has been "trying to forget" her breakup with Jamie Hince by hanging out in Paris. [The Sun]
• A judge has thrown out a paparazzo's suit against Keanu Reeves; Keanu hit the dude with his car as he was trying to inch out of a parking space and the guy tripped over his own feet and hurt his wrist. [AP]
• Is Kristin Chenoweth dating Jeff Probst? They're both very pretty. (She says "We're really good friends.") [E!]
• Jonny Lee Miller, ex-husband of Angelina Jolie and star of TV show Eli Stone, is expecting a child with wife Michele Hicks. It will be their first! [People]
• Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey may have split up, not that you care. Also maybe on the rocks: Josh Duhamel and Fergie. [E!]
• Radar did a photo shoot with Shannen Doherty and she looks all angst-y. [Radar]
• Isaac Hayes has left part of his estate to the Isaac Hayes Foundation, which promotes literacy, music and nutrition. [AP]
• Hugh Hefner says Holly Madison is not dating Criss Angel. "Holly shares my bed on a nightly basis," Hef says. But! He admits that his relationships with Holly, Kendra and Bridget are "in transition." [E!]
• Michael Phelps admits he pees in the pool. And! If you missed Phelps playing Dr. McSwimmy in a Grey's Anatomy spoof before the Emmys, you can see it here. [LA Times]
• Pete Doherty was a "chess-mad schoolboy" when he was a kid. [The Sun]
• Charlie Sheen's wife had emergency gall bladder surgery even though she's in the early stages of pregnancy, yikes. She's gonna be okay. [E!]
• Jennifer Hudson's new CD includes a duet with fellow American Idol alum Fantasia. That's a lot of voice on one track. [Fox 411]
• Janet Jackson has left her record label. Stay tuned as she tries to figure out how to stay relevant. [E!]
• "I would like to go to university and complete a degree and so that will mean a break from acting. I've always tried to balance my education with my acting career, but I just don't think it will be possible to juggle it with a degree course. I have a need now to study." — Emma "Hermione Granger" Watson. [Daily Mail]
• "I am a size 27 jeans. My measurements are 34, 26, 39. But remember I am 5'2" and ½ and everyone carries their weight in different places. I am really sick and tired of people being so mean and nasty and assume I am lying. JUST FOR YOU NON-BELIEVERS, I WILL POST A VIDEO BLOG OF ME SHOWING YOU GUYS MY SIZE 27 JEANS LATER TONIGHT!" — Kim Kardashian. [MSNBC]

[Cannes, May 20. Image via Splash.]

• "If I were writing a letter to Sarah Palin it would be a lot of whys and hows. Who are you? Do you know? Why do you hate animals? Please point out Iraq on a map… This woman hates women. She is not a feminist. She is not the woman that's going to come behind Hillary Clinton and do anything that Hillary Clinton would've been capable of … I can't imagine overturning Roe vs. Wade. She's not of this time. The woman terrifies me." — Pink. [Perez Hilton]
• Lindsay Lohan on Sarah Palin: "Is our country so divided that the Republicans best hope is a narrow minded, media obsessed homophobe? Oh, and...Hint Hint Pali Pal- Don't pose for anymore tabloid covers, you're not a celebrity, you're running for office to represent our, your, my COUNTRY!" [TMZ]
• Lindsay and Samantha Ronson: Seen in an "intense liplock" for "at least half an hour" at NYC's trendy Beatrice Inn. [Page Six]
• Lindsay punched a paparazzo because she thought he tripped her, but actually, she tripped on a metal barricade. Whoops. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Lopez completed her first-ever triathlon on Sunday in Malibu and raised $127,000 for the Children's Hospital of L.A. in the process. A very quick "recovery" from the "foot injury" she had that prevented her from judging the Project Runway fashion show on Friday. Could it be that she wanted a part in a Harvey Weinstein film, and found out she wasn't getting it, so pulled out? [MSNBC]

• Has being Woody Allen's muse turned Scarlett Johansson into a bitch? [Page Six]
• Liz Taylor went to her favorite gay bar on Thursday night! She was out at The Abbey in West Hollywood. Says a witness: "She was lively. She was laughing and she was smiling." Apparently she "held court" in a back corner, holding a martini while a friend held her Maltese, Daisy. [People]
• Five Leaves, the Brooklyn bar owned in part by Heath Ledger's estate, has opened. The decor is '20s-era industrial steel. Mary-Kate Olsen and Michelle Williams maybe attended the unofficial opening. [Gothamist]
• Frances Bean Cobain's 16th birthday party was a "suicidal 16" bash in which guests were awarded prizes if they dressed the "most dead." Girl, where is your mother? Oh yeah. [E!]
• Producer Swizz Beatz is getting divorced and Alicia Keys could be "the other woman." [Rush & Molloy]
• Carla Bruni's ex, Jean-Paul Enthoven (she left him for his son, with whom she had a kid before marrying President Nicolas Sarkozy) is getting "revenge" with a novel. The main character is a cold, wealthy, shopping-obsessed woman. [Times of London]
• Amy Winehouse didn't show up to her own birthday party. She missed a guitar-shaped birthday cake! [The Sun, Mirror]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have made a $2 million donation to create a health center for AIDS and tuberculosis affected children in Ethiopia. The center will be named after daughter Zahara. [E!]
• Guinness World Records says that Brad and Angelina are the world's Most Powerful Actor and Actress. But we all know Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, Knox and Vivienne are actually in control. [UPI]
• Daniel Dae Kim of Lost pleaded no contest to drunk driving charges (from Oct. 25) and paid a $500 fine. [Breitbart]
• The Promises Foundation received an autographed oil painting of Britney Spears from Britney Spears, which they're going to sell on eBay with a starting bid of $10,000. Good luck with that! [UPI]
• See the painting here. She's not wearing a top. [TMZ]
• Is manager Larry Rudolph to thank for Britney's epic turn around? [Daily Mail]
• Brit threw her boys a truck-themed birthday party on Saturday. Jamie Lynn brought daughter Maddie. The kids drove around in toy cars with personalized license plates. There were no DUIs. That we know of. [Yahoo News]
• Naomi Campbell is in love, and after having surgery on her ladyparts, thinks she would like to have a baby. [Daily Mail]
• George Takei and Brad Altman were married Sunday in a multicultural ceremony at the Japanese American National Museum that featured a Buddhist priest, Native American wedding bands, a Japanese Koto harp and a bagpipe procession. [Yahoo News]
• "I did not set out to make a controversial film or a social commentary. If Dakota Fanning is so shamed for telling that story, what message does that give victims? I did not set out to make a statement, but in the 12-year process of trying to get this film made I have been unable to avoid facing the politics of being a woman filmmaker and telling women stories…" — Deborah Kampmeier, director of Hounddog, the film often called the "Dakota Fanning rape movie." [NY Times]
• Maryline Blackburn, who won the 1984 Miss Alaska pageant — when Sarah Palin came in second — is now a singer living in Atlanta. Blackburn, who is African-American, says, "Sarah was kinda in my top five. You're kind of looking at all the girls and when I first saw her I thought, 'Oh my goodness, she's absolutely beautiful.' She's a gorgeous woman." But! On November 4? "It's all about Obama, Obama," Blackburn says. [WSBTV]
• Jennifer Hudson: Engaged to boyfriend David Otunga. [People]
• Peaches Geldof and husband Max Drummey now have matching tattoos. [Mirror]
• Spike Lee is ending his feud with Clint Eastwood and maybe starting one with Judd Apapoe [sic]. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Kylie Minogue will perform on the artificial Palm Island in Dubai at the opening ceremony of a 5-star hotel… Ending speculation that Madonna was gonna do the gig. [Mirror]
• John Mayer did a striptease for Heidi Klum. Yeah. [Rush & Molloy]
• Check out Beyoncé playing a hot cop in her new video. [Concrete Loop]
• Damon Dash indeed has sole custody of his son, Damon Jr. His ex girlfriend enrolled the 16-year-old in school in Long Island when he went to visit her, but a judge was like: No. [UPI]
• The only Sienna Miller fansite online might be shutting down! Says the webmistress: "I cannot get past the fact that to me she has completely changed from the Sienna I became a fan of back in 2004." [ONTD]
• This picture shows Sienna walking while Balthazar Getty drives alongside her, in an effort not to be photographed together. [The Sun]
• Contrary to earlier reports, Holly Madison did not dump Hef for Criss Angel! [E!]
• While accepting her award at the Creative Arts Emmys for the video "I'm Fucking Matt Damon," Sarah Silverman said: "Thanks to the person for whom this whole video was made: Jimmy Kimmel, who broke my heart – ohh, who'll always have a place in my heart." [People]
• Matt Damon and Wyclef Jean distributed rice, beans and oil to residents of Haiti, where hundreds of people are homeless and hungry after four devastating hurricanes have hit since mid-August. [Yahoo News]
• Shannen Doherty has shot four episodes of the new 90210, which is all she signed up for. Will she do more? Does the CW want her to? [Yahoo News]
• Shenae Grimes has been "tormenting everyone on set" of the new 90210. [Page Six]
• Mark Ronson and Daisy Lowe: Splitsville. [Mirror]
• A bunch of teachers spill about what stars Amy Winehouse, Jude Law, Simon Cowell and Lily Allen were like as kids. Guess who was an arrogant, "polished character" and popular with the girls? [Guardian]
• Short on cash, Pete Doherty paid for a taxi with paintings he'd done. [The Sun]
• Queen Latifah was going to call her new album The L Word "just for fun" to mess with people who think she is gay. (But, um, isn't she?) [Daily Express]
• Cyndi Lauper to mentor contestants on Australian Idol! [News.com.au]
• Sir Paul McCartney will be guarded by armed secret agents during his gig in Israel — he's apparently the "enemy of Muslims." [The Sun]
• Richard Gere and Debra Winger: Acting together again for the first time since An Officer and a Gentleman? [Fox 411]
• David Beckham: Booed, after his soccer football team lost. [Independent]
• Steve Irwin's 4-year-old son wants his own TV show. [Independent]
• "There is such a great lesson to learn in having your children in the kitchen with you. Children can smell the smells and watch all that goes into the preparation of the food. It’s a five-sense experience for them." — Rachael Ray. [NY Times]
• "I feel there must be an enormous amount of really talented songwriters out there who can't sing. So, please, send me your songs." — Roger Daltrey of The Who. [Daily Express]

• Hayden Panettiere's father, Alan, has been arrested for allegedly beating his wife. He allegedly struck Lesley Panettiere in the face this morning at 3 am. If it's true, the man is no hero. Maybe that's why Hayden wants to shack up with her older boyfriend? [TMZ]
• Britney Spears filmed a promo for the MTV Video Music Awards with Russell Brand and an elephant. Does that mean she'll be in the show again this year? Can you believe it has been a year since her "Gimme More" debacle? She could make a real comeback this time. [LA Times]
• George Clooney is helping Barack Obama on issues from body language to Iraq. They e-mail regularly, an insider says: "George has been giving him advice on things such as presentation, public speaking and body language and he also emails him constantly about policy, especially the Middle East. George is pushing him to be more 'balanced' on issues such as US relations with Israel." [Daily Mail]
• The woman who helped raise David Banda, adopted son of Madonna, has died. Asineti Mwale looked after infant David after his birth mother died, and recently was bedridden with pneumonia. [People]

• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban in matching his-and-hers leather outfits: Ew. [Daily Mail]
• Whoa, there's an Olympic boxer in Beijing named Brad Pitt. Some suggested he go by "Bradley" just to avoid issues during check in and travel, but he says, "No way, I've always been Brad.'' He also says:"The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.'' [Times Of India]
• The New York Times obit of Isaac Hayes refers to his "lascivious bass-baritone and flamboyant wardrobe." He is survived by his wife, their son Nana and 11 other children. [NY Times]
• Did Jennifer Aniston have her lips done? Some random person says yes. [UPI]
• Johnny Depp might be moving to the English countryside. [Mirror]
• The news about the Sienna Miller/Balthazar Getty affair continues to contradict itself. Today, an insider says: "It’s nonsense that the marriage was already over. When Balthazar went away in May, Rosetta thought it was to see his sick mom in Germany. But she now knows that it was to cavort with Sienna in Prague.” [Perez Hilton]
• Model/actress Angie Everhart's boyfriend was arrested Thursday in West Hollywood for allegedly roughing her up. She had minor injuries, but they did not require medical attention. He was booked for misdemeanor spousal battery. [Yahoo News]
• Penelope Cruz was giving a phone interview when her driver almost wrecked the car; the reporter on the other line heard her screaming. [Washington Post]
• Guy Ritchie is taking martial arts in a padded dojo room and this Brit tab runs the headline: "Padded 'Cell' Helps Guy Chill." [The Sun]
• David Beckham says his son Cruz didn't learn breakdancing from him: "I have two left feet when it comes to dancing." Guess that works on the soccer field, though. [The Sun]
• Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones broke immigration and anti-terrorism laws by pulling their yacht into an Italian port and disembarking without paperwork or notifying authorities. Shady! [Variety]
• A woman is suing Splash News after ending up on a tape featuring Heath Ledger "in close proximity" to cocaine. "Jane Doe" says it's a privacy issue: Her face was blurred on the footage but is worried about her "conversations, her voice and likeness." One minute you're partying with celebs, the next you're on Entertainment Tonight. [Yahoo News]
• Rachel Hunter got ice from her hockey player boyfriend: They're engaged. [This Is London]
• UK What Not To Wear star Trinny Woodall has a crush on Keanu Reeves and has been "chasing" him. Take the red pill! [Daily Mail]
• Tori Spelling: Pissed that her role on the new 90210 pays less than what Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty are getting. What's up with that? Stop picking on Donna Martin! [Deadline Hollywood]
• People are still miffed about Beyoncé's L'Oréal ad, including the chairman of the National Association of Black Journalists. [Guardian]
• Matthew McConaughey saved the placenta from the July birth of his son and plans to plant it under a tree. "It's going to be in the orchards and it's going to bear some wonderful fruit," he says. "When I was in Australia, they had a placenta tree that was on the river ... and all the placentas of all that tribe, all that clan, whatever aboriginal tribe that was, all the placentas went under that one tree and it was this huge behemoth of just health and strength." Sounds delicious. [AP]
• Mark your calendars: Blake Fielder-Civil should be out of jail by December 30. [Perez Hilton]
• Another noteworthy date: Jennifer Hudson's CD finally drops on September 30. [Yahoo News]
• Lisa Marie Presley has been blogging on her MySpace page, and while she's happy about being pregnant, she's upset about the gossip machine. "In the past couple of years, high profile type people seem to have less and less rights. Less privacy and protection. The onslaught of Internet and tabloid sites mostly want only blood now. They have managed to make being a public figure a 24/7 public stoning and execution of various sorts. Some obviously more brutal than others." [People]
• The MGM Tower, where Tom Cruise and Salma Hayek have offices, has been the subject of an anonymous threat: Anthrax in the ventilation system. Scary! Last Tuesday there was a bomb threat in the building. WTF. [E!]
• Speaking of Salma, she is developing an hourlong reality show about weddings, just a few months after calling off her own. It will only be worth watching if Wilhelmina Slater is in it. [Variety]
• A picture of Prince William and Kate Middleton on a boat in the Caribbean, for your approval. [People]
• A photo of Rhys Ifans with a topless lady, also for your approval. [The Sun]
• Uh-oh. Miss Universe in nude photo scandal. But! Officials say: the shots for a jewelry company are "artistic in nature, and they don't have an ounce of pornographic content to them." Phew. [Times Of India]
• "Once a Hollywood legend, Doris Day is now an ageing recluse called Clara." [Daily Mail]
• Lil' Kim's nose is looking marginally better these days. [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• Gwyneth Paltrow's nose has been elegantly refined. [Good Plastic Surgery]
• Family drama: Richard Dreyfuss is suing his father and uncle over an $870,000 loan he claims was never repaid. The deal was made in 1984. [Yahoo News]
• "I've been celibate for a year and starting to think I may never have sex again. It’s not something I planned but I just don’t get asked out any more. Men seem to look at me and think, 'She went out with George Clooney, what chance have I got?'" — Lisa Snowdon. [The Sun]
• "My parents have been married more than 25 years, with all the glory and the pain you can imagine, but they've stayed together. I want a strong marriage like that… The worst thing that happens to you can be the best thing for you, if you don't let it get the best of you." — Anne Hathaway on dating. [People]
• Carey Hart's brother Anthony Hart died yesterday after wrecking his motorcycle in a practice session for a Supermoto Championship race. [TMZ]
• "I have not decided on a candidate. I am waiting to see the commitments they will make on issues like international justice, refugees and how to address the needs of children in crisis around the world." — Angelina Jolie on endorsing a presidential candidate. [Wilshire & Washington, via Time]
• "He's the first and last old man that I'll be attracted to." — American Idol's Katharine McPhee on her husband, who is 19 years her senior. [Newsweek]
• "I occasionally go out with musicians, I keep myself to myself, and I get followed by people with cameras. I feel like I should give some kind of public apology because I see this person in the papers, too. It’s like reading about a character in a Lewis Carroll novel, like Alice in Through the Looking Glass. I’d love to meet this person and tell her she’s a bitch – but she’s not me. The drug thing is something I can’t go into for legal reasons, but I will say that it was blown completely out of proportion. I never overdosed. Drugs for me are something I don’t normally meddle in." — Peaches Geldof. [Times of London]

• As previously reported, for reasons one can only imagine, Tyra Banks plays first lady in the new issue of Harper's Bazaar. This article reads: "Voguing like a supermodel, Tyra pays homage to Michelle Obama and Jackie Kennedy with pearls, slinky black shift and curly flip, draped against a Barack Obama lookalike and smiling at a tyke playing hide-and-seek à la JFK Jr. Banks confessed that if she were first lady, her Secret Service code name would be 'KMFA: Kiss My Fat Ass.'" Yes. Well. No further comment. [New York Post]
• Tyra also says: "Michelle Obama, you're one hot mama." [WWD]
• Don't worry, Vogue editor-at-large and python duster-enthusiast Andre Leon Talley (who famously stuck Jennifer Hudson in a hideous metallic bolero) will not be messing with the real-life Michelle Obama any time soon, rumors to the contrary. Quoth the less-than-jolly giant, "I think that Michelle Obama does not need advice." [BlackBook]
• Michelle's also on the cover of Ebony. "She wore her own clothing for the shoot —
  including a suit from favored designer Maria Pinto." [WWD]

• They're finally airing that too-hot-for-TV-naked Eva Mendes Calvin Klein ad - albeit after nine pm! The "Secret Obsession" campaign "taps into the secrecy of a private moment - where it's clear that Eva is having illicit thoughts," marketer Lori Singer told WWD. [Page Six]
• Wanna see it? (NSFW, obvs) [E!]
• Everything Lagerfeld touches turns to awesome! Now he's collabing with architect Zaha Hadid on an installation, The Chanel Mobile Art Pavilion, "a gleaming futuristic pavilion with the startling appearance of a glamorous spaceship...a pavilion that, like a handbag, is a completely portable and functional container with vast symbolic potential." Indeed, Kaiser. [Independent]
• Celeb spawn modeling? No! Dakota Johnson, daughter of Don and Melanie Griffith, is in illustrious company: "The model, who is best friends with Demi Moore's daughter Rumer Willis, has just been signed to star alongside the MisShapes' Leigh Lezark and another famous Hollywood child, Isabella Rossellini's daughter Elettra Rossellini Wiedemann, to front the new season campaign for Italian fashion house Hogan." [ElleUK]
• Ho-hum. Another naked dame for PETA. This time it's Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard, which is, I guess, at least promoting a healthy body image. [Reuters]
• Speaking of which, designers like Stella McCartney and Alexander McQueen are cashing in on the Olympics. "More and more we are seeing fashion brands getting involved in sports like the Olympics or Wimbledon or the U.S. Open." [Yahoo]
• Shockingly, all those "modeling agencies" on Craig's List aren't on the level. Sadly, a lot of teens are falling prey to them. [The Sun]
• Vids of Lauren Conrad's ads for Avon's new Mark Cosmetics, the younger line. [ONTD]
• An Australian study shows that women are way more concerned with the size on a garment's tag than they should be. "People are paying more attention to the size tag than the price tag and feeling down when they can't fit their standard size." This is why we're all 2s at Banana Republic, people! [Reuters]
• Sudanese model Alek Wek on breaking industry stereotypes: "I was told, 'You can’t make it – you're this, you're that, your nose is too wide, etc.'" [Daily Express]
• Thanks, Vogue: freckles are "in." [The Independent]
• Recessionistas, take note: Patricia Field's podcast on styling H&M. It's actually totally unhelpful, but still kinda entertaining. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Fashion mags launch search for "real women" (because we're so hard to find.) The Condies are searching for veritable dames with "interesting careers" to shoot for "major fashion layouts." So, if that sounds like you and you're between 20 and 30 years old, five foot five and five foot eleven, and wear a 2 to 6 dress size, you qualify to be one of those "real women." [New York Magazine]
• Dior profits way up. [WWD]
• Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear. "Kelly Rutherford's baby is a real fashion victim. The hot mom in Gossip Girl was shopping recently in the Hamptons and was overheard saying that she and her husband, German businessman Daniel Giersch, named their nearly 2-year-old boy Hermés Gustaf Daniel Giersch because she loves the Hermes designer label. She also said her husband once worked as a mailman and the messenger god is Hermes." [Page Six]
• The case of the suited crook: "A former Saks Fifth Avenue suit salesman used his access to fine clothes to gain access to Midtown buildings, where he swiped cash and credit cards from empty offices." [New York Post]
• Is some random store ripping off Lanvin's Elaz tees? [Fashionista]
• Cosabella's fall Sex and the City lingerie collection is here. Some feel Charlotte, Miranda are somewhat misrepresented. [Fabsugar]

[New York, July 23. Image via Splash.]

You know, truthfully, I'd forgotten why Mischa Barton was considered chic. This reminded me.

Not my absolute favorite on Padma: she looks merely gorgeous rather than stunning.

It gives me great pleasure to be able to elevate Jennifer Hudson to the literal heights of the Good. I can't pretend I'm a major fan of these New York & Co. -style giraffe prints that won't go away, or the severe bob on JH, but I'm delighted to see our lady in something softer. When all the components are in place — defined waist, open neck — structured armor is not always necessary!

By "Good" I'm afraid that in the case of Jasmine Guinness I just mean "grand-niece of Nancy Mitford." I'm actually on the fence with this one: the color's great on her, but it's not doing a whole lot for her overall.

The Less Good:
Actress Jodie Whittaker's dress is sabotaged by its lacy hem. Oh, and her tap shoes.
Shaznay Lewis' mini would be so much cuter were it not made of insulation.
Singer Sandi Thorn's dress is an object lesson: these Grecian-draped tops are incredibly hard to wear, very bulky and almost never a good idea, no matter how pretty the color.
TV presenter June Sarpong is in danger of being worn by her dress's aggressive print. Her booties are no match for its power.
Certainly not "Ugly"-worthy, but the worst of the evening: actress Hattie Morahan.

Keep A Child Alive

[Images via Getty]

The Good:
A little Van Lear Rose, a little 50's prom, a lot fab. Rihanna's short hair keeps this from going too sweet.
Let's give Terrence Howard the benefit of the doubt and assume that cane's functional, shall we? Because the man looks seriously dapper.
Crystal Alkin's dress is gorge.
I gasped — I did! — when I saw Gabrielle Union's goddessy ensemble.
I'm a sucker for anything 70s-inflected, but even so, this kind of dress can be hard to pull off. I'd argue that BET host Danella does so, in spades.
Khaki suits can be so Men's Wearhouse. It's a pleasure to see it done right, as actor Boris Kodjoe does here.
I don't know how much longer this shape can tough it out, but Alicia Keys shows what it can do.
Maybe I get a vicarious thrill out of seeing people work lemon, since it makes me look like a plague victim. Trina's mini would be adorable in almost any bright, though.
Yeah it's kinda hiked up here, but Jordin Sparks' red number is a classic, classy choice.


The Bad:

From what I've observed, rapper MC Lyte is a pretty reliable red-carpet train-wreck. This is actually one of her better get-ups.
Given my fondness for jumpsuits, I almost gave Keri Hilson's lame iteration a pass. But the thing is, for a js to work there must be NO crotch-pulling. And the photographic evidence cannot be denied.
Ledisi's minidress is woefully unflattering. Nuff said, methinks.
Jennifer Hudson: I get the appeal of a structured dress. I do. But is it necessary for her to be strapped into armor on a weekly basis? It looks so uncomfortable — and doesn't seem to express any of the playfulness that makes her so appealing.
Solange Knowles has clearly inherited great genes, questionable taste.
I'll say this for Omarosa: the woman's consistent.

The Ugly:

If I could choose a superpower, I think it would be mind-reading, if only so I could go inside rapper Jacki O's head and try to figure out what she was thinking when she selected this ensemble.
Rapper Lil Mama: most frightening Strawberry Shortcake interpretation to come down the pipe yet!

• Vivienne Westwood rules for many reasons; here's reason number 1,457: when the designer received honors of British ranking at Buckingham Palace in the '90s, she went “knickerless on both occasions.” [The Star]
• Proenza Schouler is teaming up with Guiseppe Zanotti to expand its line of footwear. I’m crossing my fingers that the prices won’t be unbearable, because this news excites me more than you know. [Elle UK]
• This is the stuff nightmares are made of. Photographer Nick Knight plans to create 3-D images of a 30-foot Naomi Campbell. “He has scanned Naomi 'straddling the barrel of a large tank' to form one sculpture, and another is envisioned as a 'circle of three Naomis, like The Three Graces.'" Please, people, stop encouraging this woman's egomania. [Fashionologie]

• Jennifer Hudson tells New York Magazine that she regrets wearing the jacket Vogue's Andre Leon Talley picked out for her for the Oscars. [New York]

• James Gandolfini's bathrobe from The Sopranos is being auctioned off, along with a bunch of bloody Sopranos shirts, to benefit a nonprofit group that assists severely wounded soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. [Yahoo]

• More news on the Jerry Hall clothing auction at Sotheby’s in the UK: she is not auctioning off her wedding dress but her daughter Lizzie is pissed she’s selling other awesome outfits. [Telegraph]
• Roberto Cavalli will lecture at Oxford University's student union today, reports Fashion Week Daily. I wonder if he’ll be able to convince the smartest students in the world that he knows the line between sexy and vulgar? He didn’t convince me, and I barely graduated high school. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Designer Martin Margiela designed a T-shirt with a horse graphic that sold out at the stunning price tag of $1,395, but rumors swirl that it’s not so original. “The image on the tee is nearly identical to an image painted by British artist David Penfound in 1998, which also covers t-shirts . . . that retail for $19.95,” says Fashionologie, via the LA Times. [Fashionologie]
• Interview with model Theodora Richards on her new position as VP of Creative Director of 4 Stroke Jeans: “…Jeans and me, we go together like peanut butter and jelly,” she says. [The Fashion Informer]
• Noémie Lenoir is the first black model to grace the cover of French Vogue solo in over a year, although the June/July issue actually has two covers, the other featuring model Laetitia Casta. [Fashionista]
• American Eagle Outfitters' profits have fallen. [Reuters]
• Burberry is planning on expanding its shoe line. Does this mean we can expect to see things like plaid-printed wedges as well as wellies? [Times of London]
• Benetton, a company known for its glossy ad campaigns and pastel sweaters, is looking into investing in "troubled" airline Alitalia. [Forbes]

• Ellen DeGeneres is so psyched about the California Supreme Court ruling regarding gay marriage that she's gonna get hitched to longtime love Portia de Rossi. Woohoo! It would be kind of awesome if they did it on TV. And then danced! [TMZ]
  
• Pregnant Angelina Jolie will be looking "sexy" on the July cover of Vanity Fair; she was shot by Patrick Demarchelier. Wonder if he'll have her Photoshopped? [Page Six]
  
• Click here if you need info on Angelina's tattoos. [Sydney Morning Herald]
  
• Angelina will probably give birth in France, FYI. [USA Today]
  
• Angelina's dad Jon Voight is all riled up over Israel: "God gave this land to the Jewish people; they shouldn't be giving it away," he says. But, um, Voight is not Jewish. [Mirror]
  
• "If I punched every bitch who called me fat, it would be dead bitches all up and down the highway." — Star Jones. [Page Six]

• Just two weeks after marrying Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon is driving a new car: the $120,000 Maserati Quattroporte. Did Drumline profits pay for it? [TMZ]
• Ali Lohan swears that even though sister Lindsay hangs with Sam Ronson, she is not a lezebel. "They're best friends. They're just friends. It's pathetic what people say," Ali claims. [Perez Hilton]
• Here's a book for your Amazon wish list: Hollywood Babylon: It's Back has full-frontal nudes of stars like Mick Jagger, Daniel Radcliffe, Ewan McGregor, John Malkovich, James Woods and Richard Gere. Plus! Stories about the size of other actors; Johnny Depp was known as "donkey dick" and an art student who sketched Sean Connery years ago swears, "It was the biggest I've ever seen. It made me drop my charcoal pencil." [Rush & Molloy]
• As previously reported, Britney Spears and Mel Gibson are on vacay together in Costa Rica. Also along for the adventure are Brit's dad Jamie and Mel's wife Robin, as well as some "unidentified youngsters." Apocalypto! [E!]
• An L.A. band says there's a Miley Cyrus song that sounds suspiciously like one of theirs. Miley's rep says, "She doesn't write the songs - she sings them. We have referred this to Disney." Ah, well, okay then. [Page Six]
• Hulk Hogan has written letters to the court trying to get his son Nick a softer sentence; Hulk says Nick isn't the wild kid people see on TV because their reality show "is scripted." [TMZ]
• American Idol alum Taylor Hicks will join the cast of Grease on Broadway. [ET]
• Duran Duran are in the news! They rerouted their world tour to perform for Deutsche Bank staffers; then the show got canceled. Now they're hungry like the wolf. Don't say a prayer for them now, save it til the morning after. [Mirror]
• Sheryl Crow has a new boyfriend; he's a restauranteur and pilot from Alabama. He can fly home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. [MSNBC]
• Movie-industry private investigator Anthony Pellicano has been found guilty of conspiracy after wiretapping and harassing a string of celebrities, including Garry Shandling, Kevin Nealon, Sylvester Stallone and Keith Carradine. [Portfolio]
• Rapper DMX has pleaded not guilty to felony drug possession and misdemeanor animal cruelty charges. [Yahoo News]
• Jury selection is complete in the trial of R. Kelly! Maybe the trial will finally begin? [Mirror]
• Ryan Kavanaugh, the executive producer of 21, smitten with Natalie Portman? What will Devendra Banhart say? [Page Six]
• Kanye West performed with four topless dancers wearing space helmets and made $1 million. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which TV legend likes to play dirty in the bedroom? The larger-than-life fella ties up his conquests with bathrobes - and takes breaks from "satisfying" the girls only to snort piles of coke." [Rush & Molloy]
• Lil' Kim won $500,000 in a lawsuit against a former fellow Junior M.A.F.I.A. member. That kind of cash will get her some nice fingernails. [Vibe]
• Dennis Rodman has been charged with battery and domestic violence after allegedly hitting his girlfriend last month in an L.A. hotel. Rodman is currently in a rehab facility, but he told TMZ "I've never hit anyone." [TMZ]
• Kelly Osbourne has a new boyfriend named Luke. [Mirror]
• "The handbags alone were heavenly. I'm a handbag girl, so I was just salivating. Every time a new purse came into the wardrobe room I'd get so excited. People would walk in with arms full of bags, just trying to decide which one my character should use that day. Just flipping through them, one more beautiful than the next. I was stunned... Next time I will make sure I put a clause into my contract that I get to keep all my purses." — Jennifer Hudson, on the Sex And The City movie. [Mirror]

[LAX, April 28. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

According to the NY Times, in exchange for Skyy Vodka being the official spirit of the film, Houlihans is now also serving up Skyy Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha 'tinis. Other companies that have signed on for the film are Coty fragrances, Vitaminwater, Mercedes-Benz USA, and the jeweler H. Stern. Says Chris Carlisly, the marketing president for the film's distributor, New Line: "We've positioned this movie from the beginning as 'the Super Bowl for women'.. So we want to align only with those brands that make sense, that match up with the 'Sex and the City' brand, and extend our footprint, not duplicate it." We're not sure what footprints (other than carbon ones) have to do with this movie, but one thing is for sure: This ain't no film, it's a 2-hour commercial. Clarifies exec producer John Melfi: "It's not sticking a bowl of cereal or a Coca-Cola in front of the camera. It's organic to the lives of the ladies." Which we all know are totally devoid of any trace of reality anyway.

'Sex and the City' And Its Lasting Feminine Appeal [NYT]
For Rent [WWD, 1st item]

Earlier: Carrie Bradshaw's Wardrobe To be Both Sexy And Subsidized
M Week With A $4,000 Snakeskin Handbag

(If we banished the Best Actress category, and just had "Best Acting Performance," would women ever get Oscars?)

Continues Churchwell:

Women do badly in awards in which attractiveness doesn't count, which is why they are so under-represented among producers, directors, and Nobel laureates. By the same token (pun intended), beautiful women on display are used to sell everything in our culture, and the Oscars are no exception.

And The Best Frock Is... [Guardian]

Earlier: Diablo Cody: A Flash Of Leg, A Tear And An Oscar

The Good:

The Bad:

The Ugly:

[Los Angeles, CA; February 24. Image via Getty.]

• Model Agyness Deyn and designer Henry Holland went as Mr. and Mrs. Beetlejuice for Halloween. They did their own makeup. [Vogue UK]
  
• Jennifer Hudson on Vogue editor-at-large/hideous capelet advocate Andre Leon Talley: "I was like André, you don't have a cell phone? André, you don't e-mail? He's like, 'I don't e-mail honey, I don't do that,' I was like, 'No, no, no, we have to get that together." [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Jacob "Jacob the Jeweler" Arabov has pleaded guilty to the charges of falsifying records and lying to a federal agent during a drug investigation. We hope all that ice can buy a man a carton of cigarettes in the big house. [WWD, sub req'd]

• Liz Claiborne is thisclose to selling off 4 of its final 9 brands. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Nina Ricci designer/wunderkind Olivier Theyskens is designing socialite Lauren Davis' wedding dress. Says Davis of the design, "[I]t's very bridal." Um. [Fashion Week Daily]
• T-shirt-for-a-cause alert! Marni shirts (ranging in price from $67 to $135) benefiting NGO Mani Tese, which helps underprivileged kids in developing countries. The shirts are portraits of six of the children who would benefit from this funding. Hmm. [Fashion Week Daily]
• What is model Iekeliene Stange's biggest secret in life? "I'm obsessed with roller-skating and having pancake parties!" Ah, models. [Fashion Week Daily]
• We confess: We would buy any magazine with Cate Blanchett on the cover. [Sassybella]

• Those invited to Marc Jacobs' annual holiday costume party (aka - not us) need to start preparing their costumes now. The theme has finally been announced! "Arabian Nights." We double-dare someone to go as Edward Said. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• The most important movie of all time, the Sex and the City movie, shot at the offices of the most important magazine of all time, Vogue. My god, how did the world not combust when these two forces joined powers? Also, Anna Wintour will not be appearing in the movie. But Andre Leon Talley will! And we hope that Jennifer Hudson, who is playing Carrie Bradshaw's assistant in the movie, manages to restrain herself re: that whole idiotic bolero-from-Mars thingy he made her wear to the Oscars. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Why we love Barneys New York's Creative Director Simon Doonan, reason #482: "Everyone in the music industry looks like a hooker. Let's call it porno-chic. It seems to me nowadays that Janis Joplin wouldn't be able to get her clog in the door without a full makeover!" [Fashion Week Daily]

• Aerin Lauder's new line of products for Estee Lauder has nary a cosmetic in it. No, no: It's a full-fledged line of hostess gifts. Gag! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Bono's eco-aware fashion line with Rogan Gregory, Edun, is once again making T-shirts to help African children and also the images of certain highly-remunerated celebrities who will be endorsing it i.e. Gwyneth Paltrow, Liv Tyler and Ben Affleck in ads shot by Helena Christensen. The stars even styled themselves to help cut back on costs. [Vogue UK]
• Tennis star Andre Agassi has filed an injunction against Target for selling sandals with his name on them without his permission. Huh. Is Agassi still a big draw? [MSNBC]
• California-cool fashion line Trovata joins its fashion brethren in claiming that Forever 21 copied their designs and is now also suing their fundamentalist Christian asses blah blah take a number folks. [NY Times]
• French Vogue: Still a gajilliony times cooler than American Vogue. (This is why we're going as Carine Roitfeld for Halloween.) [Radar]

[New York, October 16. Image via Splash.]

• Jackass star Steve-O says Lindsay Lohan once stole a bag of cocaine from him. Maybe she also took pants? And put the cocaine in the pocket? [Page Six]
  
• Larry David denies that he is happier since his wife left. "I am not now, nor have I ever been, 'happy,'" he claims. [Page Six]
  
• Usher's fragrance is doing well, according to a woman who works the perfume counter of the Brooklyn Macy's. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Does Christy Turlington have Lyme disease? "She's going to be fine, says a friend. [Gatecrasher, 3rd item]
  
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt: Committing to building homes in New Orleans, educating children, making the rest of us look bad. [Rush & Molloy, last item]

• The Elton John AIDS Foundation gala guests included Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne, Uma Thurman and Anderson Cooper, who says he has "young gay friends." [Rush & Molloy]
• A Broadway musical version of Spider-Man? And Bono, The Edge and Julie Taymor are involved? Seriously? [Rush & Molloy, 2nd item]
• America's Next Top Model winner Jaslene Gonzalez says she survived teenage domestic abuse. "I didn't know any better at the time. I thought it was all my fault." [Rush & Molloy, 2nd to last item]
• Heroes actor James Kyson Lee says the rumor about costars Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia dating is "not true," but also says, "respect their privacy." Hmmm. [People]
• Another denial? Helena Christensen says the rumor about her hooking up with Heath Ledger is "so annoying." [People]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham's younger sister, Louise Adams, is dealing with a marriage breakdown and says Victoria's been "incredibly supportive." [Mirror]
• Meanwhile, David Beckham flew home last night to be with his dad, who suffered a heart attack and had to be resuscitated. [Mirror]
• An extra role in Will Ferrell's latest film was auctioned off and a 10-year-old boy (whose dad shelled out $47,100) will be in the new movie. The money goes to a cancer foundation but that father is indulgent! [Entertainment Tonight]
• Jennifer Hudson on the set of Sex And The City: Not a good look. [Concrete Loop]

• Britney Spears showed up for her comeback at the MTV Awards "late, unprepared, and with a drink in her hand." She was also supposed to be lifted and twirled by the dancers, but refused. And she was supposed to be wearing a corset. [Page Six]
  
• Also, Britney's boot had a broken heel — could that be why she stumbled? [ONTD]
  
• And OMG did Britney's hairstylist quit right before the performance, leaving her with jacked-up extensions? [E!]
  
• While Mommy was "working," Daddy Kevin Federline threw a birthday party for Jayden James and Sean Preston. [People]

• A new version of the Kid Rock vs. Tommy Lee fight: "When Kid found Tommy sitting in his seat at the theater, Kid told him, 'Get up, mother[bleeper]!'" a source says. "Tommy said, '[Bleep] you!'" Tommy also says, "If I wasn't so wasted, I would have gotten a punch in." [Rush & Molloy, 2nd item]
• More MTV Awards gossip: Audience members dove for cash that 50 Cent threw in the air at a pre-awards show party and almost got electrocuted, but the money was fake; Eve's SCRAM anklet was removed on Saturday and she was immediately seen sipping champagne at a party. [Rush & Molloy, 5th & 6th items]
• Lauren Conrad: Dating Desperate Housewives star Josh Henderson? Also, so drunk "she appeared to be nodding off"? [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
• Does Anna Wintour choose tennis over fashion? One designer tried to push back his show to give her more time to arrive from the US Open. [Gatecrasher, 3rd item]
• Blind item! "Which famous British vocalist, now happily settled down and living in the States, made a living selling Ecstasy in London nightclubs during his '90s career slump?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Julianne Moore has a new children's book, Freckleface Strawberry, about a red-haired speckled girl who kids make fun of. [Rush & Molloy, 11th item>
• Harry Connick Jr Turns 40 today; Ludacris turns 30. [TMZ]

Pretty ladies! From left to right: Former 'America's Next Top Model' winner Eva Pigford, American Idol winner Jordin Sparks, and chartbuster Rihanna.

Too leopardy, too short, too tight. From left to right: Eve, Ciara, Jennifer Hudson.

The old, the new, the white dude. From left to right: Diana Ross, Tracee Ellis Ross, Michael Buffer

[Los Angeles, June 2; Image via Splash]