[Los Angeles, November 15. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, November 9. Image via Flynet]

It's actually all the way down to #84 in America now, but when I was growing up in the eighties and nineties, Jennifer was everywhere. One commenter on The Baby Name Wizard says, "When you are a 'Jennifer' you will always be known by your first and last name, never just 'Jennifer'" — and indeed, I knew a lot of girls who were doomed to go through school as Jennifer L., Jennifer K., or Jennifer W. Perhaps it's inevitable that a name so common would pick up a girl-next-door vibe, and to me Jennifer immediately conjures up the image of a neat ponytail and a nonthreatening expression. Jennifer's pretty, but she isn't beautiful — and she certainly isn't slutty. She's nice, and she has good friends — she might be the kind of girl with two really close besties, but they're no mean-girl triumvirate. Jennifer will lend you an extra pencil if you need one, but she won't give you her kidney. She's not a Beth, after all. The best thing about being a Jennifer is that no one has anything bad to say about you. The worst thing is that they might get you mixed up with all the other girls who have your name.

Celebrity Jennifers fit the Jennifer stereotype to a T — and maybe they've helped define it. Diva J.Lo is something of an outlier, and Jennifer Connelly seems kind of icy, but smiley Jennifer Garner looks just like the kind of Jennifer G. who got picked a solid third in gym class seven years in a row. And would Jennifer Aniston be the all-American girl to Angelina Jolie's dangerous temptress if her name were, say, Isabel? I think not. Of course, perhaps Aniston's pleasant face and the lengths to which her publicists have gone to make her seem "relateable" have contributed to the image of a Jennifer as a comfortable, average girl — even if she was once married to Brad Pitt.

A common name does have its advantages. As I write this post, I've been thinking back to all the Jennifers I've known — giggly Jennifers, no-nonsense Jennifers, hilarious Jennifers, downright scary Jennifers, and of course a large assortment of Jennys, Jens, and Jenns. Everybody knows a Jennifer, so everybody probably has an opinion of what Jennifers are like — and some of these opinions are bound to be interesting. Having a vanilla name also gives you the opportunity for under-the-radar coolness. Mike Doughty has a pretty great song called "27 Jennifers" that goes, in part,

I went to school with 27 Jennifers,
16 Jenns, 10 Jennies, and then there was her.

When you share your name with 26 other people, you've got a shot at being her, the one who stands out from all the rest and makes an everyday name into something new and weird and awesome. Having a name that's cast from a common mold can be pretty cool, if you're the one to break it.

Jennifer [Wikipedia]
Jennifer [Baby Name Wizard]

Earlier: I Is For Isabel, Who's Snooty, But Earns It
H Is For Hillary, A Barrel Of Laughs
G Is For Grace - What's That Up Her Sleeve?
F Is For Francesca, And I Wish I Were Her
E Is For Emily, Who Seems Sweet (At First)
D Is For Danielle (Or Dani, Who's Apparently Kinda Judgey)
C Is For Courtney, Who's Too Cool For School
B is for Beth (And Barack! And Bandana!)
A Is For Anna: What My First Name Says About Me

[Cambridge, October 21. Image via INF]

• Someone's been arrested in the Lindsay Lohan home burglary case — and it's not Lindsay Lohan!

Nicholas Prugo, 18, was arrested Thursday in connection with two break-ins: Lindsay's house and Audrina Patridge's house. Dina Lohan says: "Yes, we have found him, God is good." Man, we were sold on that In Touch story alleging that Lindsay robbed herself. [People, TMZ, TMZ]

• Lisa Ling will return to The View as a guest host on October 5. [ONTD]
• Elton John, who was branded "unsuitable" to adopt a Ukranian toddler because he's gay and old, may be able to be the kid's "guardian," which means the mother retains parental rights. The child is not an orphan, though he lives in a children's home; his brother lives there, too. [Daily Mail]
• Michael Jackson's family thinks the This Is It movie is propaganda, to back AEG's claims that he was fit and healthy and ready to tour. [Page Six]
• Sad face: They're calling off the search for Jessica Simpson's dog, last seen in the jaws of a coyote. [TMZ]
• Halle Berry: Not pregnant, just full of burgers. [People]
• Although how Halle Berry could be full of burgers and get in to that dress is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, with special sauce, lettuce and cheese. [Daily Mail]
• BREAKING: Amy Winehouse had a lovely evening out with a "mystery man." [The Star, Mirror]
• Mystery solved: The dude Amy Winehouse was with is former flame Tyler James. A fan asked her for a kiss and she said, "Sorry, I'm with my boyfriend." [Daily Mail]
• While Chris Brown is doing his community service, he has three off-duty cops watching over him as a security team. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Garner is a prankster on movie sets. [Gatecrasher]
• Jennifer Lopez wore a dress by Victoria Beckham to the White House and it was… fitted. [Daily Mail]
• Avril Lavigne's marriage is really over. She posted a message on her blog which reads: "Deryck and I have been together for 6 and a half years. We have been friends since I was 17, started dating when I was 19, and married when I was 21. I am grateful for our time together… I admire Deryck and have a great amount of respect for him. Deryck and I are separating and moving forward on a positive note." [TMZ]
• Kanye West has been invited to the next Friars Club roast. [Page Six]
• Kanye West has been nominated for 9 BET awards. Will he show up? [NY Daily News]
• Kate Gosselin will be shooting the pilot for her new TV show with Paula Deen this weekend. The idea is to have several hosts, like The View, and comedian Sandra Bernhard and Tammy Lynn Michaels have both been considered for the job. [Radar]
• Paula Abdul told a radio DJ that she's going to be producing a show in Las Vegas and is also working on a project with the Laker Girls. [Eva Amurri, strip down for Californication, by all means, click the link. [Daily Mail]
• Samantha Burke, the lady impregnated by Jude Law, is possibly getting £120,000 from a magazine for pictures when the baby is born. [ Daily Mail]
• Someone showed the nuns at Sacred Heart girls school in New York video of Lady Gaga on stage bleeding; she is an alumna of the school. The nuns were not amused. [Page Six]
• Khloe Kardashian and NBA star Lamar Odom: Getting married. They've been "talking about rings." [E!]
• Is Anna Kournikova pregnant? Rumor has it she's carrying the spawn of Enrique Iglesias. [Gatecrasher]
• Ivanka Trump is keeping it classy and not selling wedding pictures, just releasing a single one. [Page Six]
• A man has been arrested for assaulting a security guard who tried to stop him from getting in a car with Ryan Seacrest. [AP]
• Clint Eastwood and Matt Damon just worked together on Invictus, and they will team up again for Hereafter, a thriller from Peter Morgan, who wrote Frost/Nixon and The Queen. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• A journalist asked Spike Lee if Do The Right Thing would get made today. "It would be very hard to make a film like this today," Lee said. "Not because the subject is irrelevant. I don't think the studios would do this. I have to thank Tom Pollock who was running Universal Pictures at the time. He put the weight of the studio behind me for this film and supported me, even when people wanted to waver and divorce themselves from the film." [Independent]
• "Of The Infernal Comedy: Confessions of a Serial Killer, the opera about the prostitute-mauling Jack Unterweger, that opened this year in Vienna and will tour in Europe and Canada next summer, John Malkovich says: 'It's actually a comedy.'" [The Daily Beast]
• Anna Nicole Smith is no longer with us, but she owes the State of California $43,280.66 in back taxes. [TMZ]
• The battle at the box office this weekend will be family-friendly Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs versus horror send-up Jennifer's Body versus the crappy-looking Love Happens with Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart. Odds are, Meatballs will win. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Perry is pissed that Aerosmith had to cancel their summer tour because of Steven Tyler's injuries. "I haven't talked to him in over five weeks. I don't know what's going on with him," Perry says. "All I know is he's got to get his act together. I mean, he and I haven't written a song together alone in the same room in over ten years, so there's been some changes in paradigm of what Aerosmith is." [AP]
• The director of The Cove, an award-winning documentary about Japan's dolphin slaughter, plans to attend a screening at the Tokyo film festival even though he could be arrested. [AP]
• "Miley Cyrus, Kelly Clarkson, Jordin Sparks lack power to carry 'Divas' label at VH1 concert… No matter the age, it seems, all one needs to be a diva in the land of VH1 is to miss a Y chromosome." [NY Daily News]
• RIP Guiding Light. [NY Post]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has been questioned by cops over her claims that she was raped by a celebrity. [Daily Mail, The Sun, The Sun ]
• Blind items! "With their partners away, celebs have been using Fashion Week as an opportunity to play! Which two pop stars made sweet music on Sunday night after the gal gave the guy a private lap dance? Hope his longtime girlfriend doesn't find out ... Which supermodel mended her recently broken heart over the weekend with the very-engaged bassist of a hot rock band?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q: When you auditioned for The Late Late Show, the producers told you that they loved the way you actually held conversations with the guests. A: "Yeah, apparently no one does that anymore. Instead, publicists work out what we'll say and who's gonna ask what. I'll ask you, 'Oh you bought a house?' And you say, 'Yeah I just moved and I got a dog.' And I'll say 'Tell me about the dog, is it named Spunky?' And you'll say 'Yeah, Spunky!' I don't do that." — Craig Ferguson. [Time]
• "It's pretty sad. She should have watched it more closely, though. She should have been more careful." — Martha Stewart, on Jessica Simpson's coyote-snatched dog. [Page Six]
• "Have you been in a Kmart lately? It is not the nicest place to shop." — Martha Stewart, whose products were sold at Kmart but will now be at Macy's and Home Depot. [ONTD via Daily Finance]
• "They took a beautiful man and put poison in his body. Why couldn't they have built him up nutritionally and got ten rid of the toxins? …I hate to be this controversial … but I have to speak out." — Suzanne Somers on Patrick Swayze. [Page Six]
• "I think that the music itself is very, very fun for the most part. I have a few more ballady, emotional songs. But lyrically, it's a little more docile - the music is very fun. I guess it's dance music - it's electro-driven but it's still soft." — Leighton Meester, on her new album. [ONTD]
• "When I read the pilot script, I thought, 'What a fun part this would be to play. How fun would this be?' But then all of these people said, 'It's perfect! You're perfect for it!' [My character] Jeff is a liar and a jerk. What am I supposed to say to that? 'Yeah, I guess so! Awesome!' It really makes me go, 'Wait, what do you mean?'" — Joel McHale on new show Community. [LA Times]
• "It's really, really awkward - any time you do a kissing scene or a love scene it's awkward but especially with this one. Neither one of us wanted to do it and we were both terrified but when you do scenes like that it's not at all sensual or sexy. You're in a room and it's full of these middle-aged crew guys who are like eating their sunflower seeds waiting for you to get it right so they can go home to their kids. They just don't want to be there." — Megan Fox on her kiss with Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer's Body. [Mirror]
• "The Office is not one of those things you move away from. I don't want it to go away." — John Krasinski. [Guardian]

[Los Angeles, August 28. Image via INFDaily.]

[Los Angeles, August 26. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Brentwood, August 23. Image via Flynet]

[Los Angeles, August 18. Image via Flynet]

[Brentwood, August 16. Image via Flynet]

• Last night Jon and Kate Gosselin got into a screaming match after Kate showed up unannounced at their Pennsylvania home and Jon wouldn't let her in. It seems Kate was upset that Jon's rumored fling Stephanie Santoro was babysitting.

• "They were screaming at each other," says a source. "He refused to open the gate." Someone called 911 and police escorted Kate off the property. She checked into a Days Inn nearby. [E!]
• Kate called the police to the hotel when she checked out at 4 a.m. and had them carry her luggage and walk her to her car. Four police cars came and officers shined a flashlight in every car in the parking lot to look for paparazzi. Two photographers caught up with Kate as she drove down the highway, but she turned her headlights off and drove about 95 mph to get away from them. [Radar Online]
• Jon gave an interview to paparazzi standing on the other side of his fence and explained, "She tried to come home yesterday and I wouldn't let her in the gate and I guess she called the police." Jon says the police said they'd have to work it out themselves and Kate, "tried to 'cry it up' with the cops and it didn't work. They said, 'You have to leave.'" Jon says Kate was upset because he had called Stephanie Santoro to babysit. "I have no idea [why she was unhappy]. I guess [because] she didn't have approval," said Jon. Perhaps it's because there have been reports that Jon picked up the 23-year-old cocktail waitress/babysitter in a bar and there are photos of her coming out of his room wearing the same clothes as the night before? [People]
• Chris Brown leaked a single from his new album called "Changed Man." What could he be referring to in these lyrics? "What you do when the truth isn't quite enough?/They looking at you telling you we need to break it up... You need to choose what you do 'cause me and you in love/ But I'mma make it up to you and show the world I'm a changed man....You mean that much to me/ I don't want to be done/I'm doing all that I can/ and everybody hates Chris/they could never understand." [Socialite LIfe]
• Chris Brown's rep claims the song is actually old and doesn't appear on the new album. In either case, you can listen to it here: [Rolling Stone]
• Jennifer Aniston will do her own singing in her upcoming film The Goree Girls, the true story of a group of female prisoners who form a radio radio country western band in the '40s. "She can sing," says the movie's director, Michael Sucsy. "And she's going to learn how to play the Dobro." [E!]
• Robert Pattinson has no manners because he didn't hold a taxi door open for Kristen Stewart and he allowed her to get in first. How dare he. [E!]
• Kristen Stewart says of the rumors that she's having Robert Pattinson's baby, "It's so absurd. I walk out of my trailer with my pants undone - and they think I'm pregnant? I mean, really? They think I'm pregnant? Come on! Like, dude, I don't get it." [Daily Express]
• Mischa Barton dared to wearing shorts that exposed her "dimply thighs." [Daily Mail]
• Mary J. Blige will be a guest judge on American Idol. [People]
• Victoria Beckham went to Boston to watch a second round of American Idol auditions. Her rep says, "There are no talks of her being a permanent judge. She has Fashion Week coming up and she is focused on that. They asked her back because it went so well and she was so natural with the judges and the contestants." [Daily Mail]
• Adam Lambert wears a puffy black vest and matching scarf over a shimmery top in this photo from the cover shoot for his new album. [Dlisted]
• Bryan Singer may cast Justin Timberlake in his film reboot of Battlestar Galactica, not to be confused with Ron D. Moore's TV reboot of Battlestar Galactica. Frak. [Just Jared]
• Omarosa is entering the United Theological Seminary in Ohio to study to be a minister. [CBS News]
• Comedy Central has cancelled Reno 911 after six seasons. The show's creator/star Thomas Lennon Tweeted: "Reno 911! was cancelled at 1:30 pm today. Won't be wearing the shorts again." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• It seems the musical Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark really isn't happening as Evan Rachel Wood and other cast members have been released from their contracts. Now Wood's agents are scrambling to get her into movies she turned down to play Mary Jane. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Denzel Washington may executive produce a TV show about a gang member who becomes a cop. [Daily Express]
• Levi Johnston on if he'd ever pose nude: "It depends on the money, man. It's gotta be right for that." [Just Jared]
• Sarah Chalke and her fiance Jamie Afifi are expecting their first child. [Just Jared]
• Amy Ryan of The Office is epecting her first child with fiancé Eric Slovin. [People]
• Kendra Baskett got a shoulder length haircut. She explained on her blog: "So the other day I realized I needed a new look so I decided to go with the mommy haircut. I chopped off my hair to my shoulders!!!!! AHHHHHHH LOL. I really like it…it's so much easier to manage and in a few months I'm definitely not going to have much time to deal with my hair so this is definitely a great change :)" [Just Jared]
• Kourtney Kardashian, who is five months pregnant says she realized something was amiss when she was, "really nauseous, like, suddenly…not just in the morning. I would have to eat Saltines at all times in the day," and that her breasts became "huge and they were so sore." [Just Jared]
• Here's a compilation of Jon Hamm's pre-Mad Men work. [Buzzfeed]
• The men of Sterling Cooper (minus Jon Hamm) will be on The Soup tonight to promote the Mad Men premiere on Sunday. Check out the clip here: [E!]
• It's easy for Mad Men to incorporate products placement, but advertisers say whether it's successful or not depends on the brand. Heineken, Cadillac, Utz, US Airways, London Fog, and Smirnoff have all be featured on the show, but one marketing consultant says, "this does not work for every brand. If you are Maidenform, which has a more dated, Grandma's-bra image in the minds of women, showing torpedo bras and girdles only reinforces this image in absence of some sort of follow-up messaging that screams ‘today.'" [N.Y. Magazine]
• "I'm not trying to clean my image to make anyone happy. I could have gone the route of the Jonas Brothers. Those guys can't live their lives freely. They have to put out this image that's totally fake." — Trace Cyrus, Miley's brother. [Celebuzz]
• "I've never been one to paint myself up Hollywood style-I'm just not good at that. I don't have a healthy dose of that kind of vanity although I wish I did because then you know how to be cute when you need to be cute." — Jennifer Garner [E!]
• Pete Wentz says of his nude photo scandal in 2006, "Well, I handled it pretty terribly for the first 48 hours. I mean, I quit my band and everything. But then what I realized is that it's not the worst thing on the planet that's ever gonna happen. [I] apologized to my mom, realized that the best way to not have pictures on the Internet is to never take the pictures at all, and then made fun of it." [Socialite Life]
• "I definitely got doughy. I started eating like crazy and drinking dark beer. Between meals on set, I'd eat a No. 1 value meal at McDonald's and then Doritos on top of it. It was absolute heaven. Now I'm the Sexiest Man Alive's chunky cousin." -Matt Damon on gaining weight for The Informant [N.Y. Magazine]
• "At one point in the movie Brad and I get kidnapped together and we're in the back of a truck. We're shooting it for three hours and it comes to the time to really know Brad Pitt, not just meet him. He's the greatest guy in the world, asking questions, making polite conversation. He's like, 'So, how's The Office going? How was it like moving from Boston to Los Angeles?' And I'm like, 'Well Brad ... ', just so comfortable and it occurs to me, 'Oh my God, it's going to be my turn to ask questions next and I don't know what to ask Brad Pitt that doesn't feel like you're some tabloid reporter! Like, 'How's the girlfriend? How's the being Brad Pitt thing?' In the end I was like, 'How's things going?'" - B.J. Novak on talking to Brad Pitt on the set of Inglourious Basterds [N.Y. Magazine]

[Brentwood, August 9. Image via INF]

[Santa Monica, July 29. Image via Flynet]

[Santa Monica, July 26. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, July 22. Image via INF]

[Santa Monica, July 1. Image via Flynet]

• Britney shouted, "What's up London?" at a recent gig… In Manchester. Mancunians were irritated. [Daily Mail]

• Beyoncé backed out of a performance at a club in New York — and the club owner says he's already spent $100,000 preparing for the show. Lawsuit threat! [Page Six]
• Rihanna is expected in court on Monday as a witness in Chris Brown's assault case; her testimony will not be televised. [CNN]
• Angelina was taping Anderson Cooper 360 for World Refugee Day and said: "I usually just explain to [my kids] that there are other families in the world that aren't as fortunate as ours and other kids'...And so I tell them that it's important for all of us to do what we can and then go to these places and understand what's happening, Hopefully I'll take them to as many countries as I can and raise them with an education of the world." [E!]
• Here's a transcript of Anderson Cooper's interview with Angelina. [CNN]
• Oh for the love of God. Someone has their hands on a sex tape starring Leighton Meester — Blair from Gossip Girl — and it involves her "very talented feet." [TMZ]
• Jessica Alba has sent a donation to the United Way after defacing on of their billboards. Good idea! [E!]
• Sacha Baron Cohen wore a bull outfit in Spain yesterday. As you can see in this picture, his black costume had horns, a prominent penis and a hooves. He was attended by cute bullfighters. [USA Today]
• Katherine Heigl is staying on for season six of Grey's Anatomy. [E!]
• If Jill Scott is nominated for an Emmy for The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency and wins, she'll be the first African-American actress to have a best TV drama actress award. [LA Times]
• Dina Lohan, a little late on the uptake, has commented that her daughter Lindsay Lohan had nothing to do with the jewelry theft from an Elle photo shoot. Yeah. We know. Dina also says: "Last month her personal cell was posted online and now her phone messages have been hacked. This must stop. She is a 22-year-old girl who needs to live her life in peace. The tabloids need to leave her alone with all the lies and reporting with no proof." [People]
• Just what you always wanted: Jennifer Love Hewitt is writing a dating book called The Say I Shot Cupid. "I thought it was time to share the real story of what I've learned navigating the dating waters," she says. "Hopefully, in addition to having a good laugh, women reading this will learn from some of my hard lessons." [People]
• Shanna Moakler, who resigned as president from the Miss California USA organization, says: "If Donald Trump gives his blessing, I'll be back in a heartbeat." [E!]
• Hmm: Did Olive Garden pull its ad dollars from David Letterman's show after his kerfluffle with Sarah Palin? [Ad Age]
• Conan O'Brien is beating David Letterman in certain demographics, but Letterman is close behind in total viewers. [Variety]
• "Today I begin my fast for Darfur." — Maria Bello. [Huffington Post]
• Oh, dear: Amy Winehouse is causing trouble on St. Lucia. Just by being there! An "influential local newspaper proprietor" believes that Amy's stay on the island is good publicity; a former government spin doctor says Amy should have been arrested and kicked out of the country by "the morality police." [Guardian]
• In this story, Beth Ditto goes off on Katy Perry and her "party song" "I Kissed A Girl." Ditto says: "As a gay person, it's like, 'Oh, of course this straight person singing about kissing a girl goes straight to Top 40 and people buy this record. Who can give a fuck about real gay people?' That's what's really painful about the whole thing." [Spinner]
• George Michael was banned from driving for 2 years, but now he's back behind the wheel, with a new car: a $200,000 Ferrari California. Something subtle and low-profile. [Luxist]
• Au revoir! David and Victoria Beckham are thinking of selling their home ins the South of France. [The Sun]
• David Archuleta's dad has pleaded no contest to "patronizing" a prostitute in a Salt Late City massage parlor. And he doesn't mean he was condescending to her. He means he was a customer! He paid a $582 fine and completed a counseling class. [USA Today]
• LeAnn Rimes is not getting a divorce, says LeAnn's rep. [E!]
• Josie Bissett will return to Melrose Place — as a guest star. [People]
• Do Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo live under a rock? They have never heard of Susan Boyle. [Us Magazine]
• "Susan Boyle was dropped from a second Britain's Got Talent concert last night after launching into a bizarre rant over her beloved cat Pebbles." [Daily Mail]
• In this interview, Tyrese refers to himself in the third person and says: "I believe that people are going to love Transformers 2." Of course you do. [USA Today]
• OMG. If Susanne Bartsch had been on the Real Housewives Of New York it would have been a much different show. She is a legend, a spectacle and a freak show — rolled into one — in the best possible way. [NY Mag]
• Check out this zany interview with Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, the Mr. Show duo, who are reuniting for a string of Chicago shows. [Milwaukee Decider]
• You've gotta love these pictures of Sienna Miller "stumbling" out a club with rumored romantic interest, Irish comedian Patrick Kielty — her hair's disheveled and he's got a cocktail in his hand as he sits in the cab. [Daily Mail]
• But wait! Don't miss these pictures of Kate Moss writhing on stage with Pink Floyd's David Gilmour as she sings at a karaoke party. [Daily Mail]
• LOL: Robin Wright Penn calls Keanu Reeves a "gentle giant." [The Star]
• When asked about Sean Penn, Robin joked: "Thank God somebody's staying with the kids!" [Mirror]
• "Heidi Fleiss speaks up for tropical birds." [Sadie Frost is 44 and single and just hosted a speed-dating night, which is "news." [Daily Express]
• Common and Queen Latifah will star in a sports romance called Just Wright, in which a sports trainer finds herself falling in love with a professional basketball player while rehabilitating him from a career-threatening injury. [Variety]
• Kevin Williamson is working on a new Scream trilogy, but Neve Campbell refuses to be in it. Williamson's Twitter reads: "This sucks." [ONTD]
• Hollywood is out of ideas, part MCDLXXXV: Teen Wolf remake. On the way. [Movie Hole]
• Gravely ill: Walter Cronkite. [NY Post]
• Jeremy Piven hasn't eaten fish in 10 months. [People]
• Blind item! "Which music mogul looks at himself in the mirror every morning and recites an ode to his greatness?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I would love to do [a movie about] Harriet Tubman. I think maybe one day a slave epic. Apart from Roots, which was on television, I don't think there's been a serious film dealing with slavery in this country. It would need alternative means of finance. It's not something that you could get made through the traditional Hollywood system." — from "10 Questions With Spike Lee." [Time]
• "Jennifer does not share the same sense of humor as me - she did not like my jokes. I was picking on [Jen's husband] Ben Affleck and making fun of him because I've known him for a really long time - I was talking smack - and Jennifer goes, 'You know, if you keep saying stuff about him, I'm going to kick your ass.' And she could - I've seen Alias. She has a real girly sense of humor and didn't understand that I was kidding." — Kevin Smith. [Gatecrasher]
• "It feels to me like [the band] has run its course at the moment. I'm not going to quit making music, and I probably will make some more Nine Inch Nails stuff down the road. But I'm going to try some different things now." — Trent Reznor says NIN is going on hiatus after a summer tour. [Newsweek]
• "If there's any turmoil, I think it's managing all of it, but having an incredible team that helps me do that it makes it very easy, or easier than it would normally be attempting to do it myself." — Usher on filing for divorce. [Mirror]
• "I'm embarrassed to say it was my first time voting-but my guy got in." — Ginuwine, who never paid attention to politics until Barack Obama came along. [US News & World Report]
• "Maybe because she doesn't look anything special, people identify with her. I get letters all the time from people who think she is real, and they give me fashion tips for dressing better, telling me that if I smarten myself up I'll be able to stand up to everyone better at the magazine." — America Ferrera, on her Ugly Betty character. [Daily Mail]
• "Right now I'm shouting out to real dads. Some are great role models with real academic achievements. Some are not ... We deserve the love!!! We put up with everything, standing true to what's real and letting life take its course protecting our household, our woman, our children, our family ... Biggest Shout To My Son On The Way!!" — Nas. (Wait, what?) [TMZ]
• "There was lot of material to memorize… Curb is improvised and I'm making it up as I go along in many cases. Here, I was doing someone else's words, which was really a pleasure, because you can get pretty sick of being yourself every minute of every day. To actually have a chance to say someone else's words, no less Woody Allen's, was fun." — Larry David, on being in Whatever Works. [WSJ]
• "I've been wearing similar outfits to Lady GaGa for years across Europe while I've been promoting my records. Now when I wear outrageous costumes people say I'm copying her. It really annoys me. She stole my look and I want it back." — Swedish singer September, who appears to favor rubber and blonde hair. [The Sun]
• "My parents' generation wasn't so good at that… Now, I try to talk to my kids - they don't want to hear it from me. They know." — Michelle Pfeiffer on giving the bird and bees talk. [NY Magazine]
• "I've known Sacha since he did Bruno when he was a young man and my son is named Bruno after him – partly after Bruno!" — Nigella Lawson. [Daily Express]
• "Back then everyone wanted their body to look like mine. Women would say: 'I've worked out for five years to look like you.' I'd trained constantly for the film, but I couldn't sustain my fitness." — Linda Hamilton's Terminator biceps hit the screen 25 (?!?) years ago. [Daily Mail]
• "Man, I'm not into that stuff. All I need is a brush. That and some Carol's Daughter Body Butter to keep off the ash. My family, we use this stuff at home. I wish I had the time to get manicures and pedicures, but the season is so crazy. Some people make the time, but I don't." — LeBron James, as he got a cucumber-and-lavender manicure. [NY Mag]
• "Who am I? I'm just another schmendrick who used to be in a goy band. I don't know what the hell that means either, but I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be funny… Ok, that's enough schtick in the box from me." — Justin Timberlake's jokes at an event at the United Jewish Federation, where his record label boss, Barry Weiss, was being honored. [AP]

The executives at New Line Cinema can't wait to take more hard-earned cash from women who don't care about storyline and just want to see something about dating and love — again!

That's why there is a project in the works called Valentine's Day. It will hit theaters right before — wait for it — Valentine's Day, 2010. The plot? The plot is iffy. Something about "would-be romantics working their way through a tangle of circumstances in L.A." But that doesn't matter, because Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel and Shirley MacLaine will be in it. And Bradley Cooper. New Line will come up with a way to work a story around these people, since all that matters is that there's money to be made. Apparently, He's Just Not That Into You proved that women want to go see "romantic" movies — with other women or a date — right around Valentine's Day.

I have nothing against romance, comedies, or romcoms. I love stuff like When Harry Met Sally, Flirting, and Amelie — thoughtful films with strong writing and characters who are forces of nature. But He's Just Not That Into You — a movie based on a self-help book based on a catchphrase from a TV show — lacked substance and soul; the characters might have well have been cardboard cut-outs with labels like "The Optimist" or "The Seductress" taped to them. And for every bad review, there was a person who said, "I'm gonna see it anyway." Now the studio has 94 million reasons to pull that shit again.

As I wrote earlier this year, when you go see a movie like He's Just Not That Into You, you're casting a vote, telling Hollywood you want more flicks in the same vein. And this is what HJNTIY's box office bonanza hath wrought: Valentine's Day. As a former screenwriting major, it is painful to read that this project is being dictated by a calendar date — along with a cast and director (Garry Marshall) — and not by an actual story someone was inspired to write.

Who knows? Maybe there will be some surprises! Maybe they'll change the title to Single Awareness Day. Maybe some great writer (writers, plural, probably) will be hired by the studio to come up with a perfectly charming Valentine's Day tale. (I can already guess that one woman, who you think will stay single, will suddenly find a date; one woman, who you think will have a date, will suddenly be single; and one couple will remain together despite going through a dilemma that should tear them apart.) But for now, I'm already announcing that I'm just not that into it.

Hollywood Has Feb. 14 Circled in Red [NY Times]

Earlier: Liveblogging He's Just Not That Into You
Cliché-Laden Chick Flick Tries To Convince You It's Not Full Of Clichés
He's Just Not That Into You: Gay Minstrel Show?
More Reasons Not To Get Into He's Just Not That Into You
He's Just Not That Into You - First Review
There's No Way You'll Be Into He's Just Not That Into You

• It's unclear why Kiefer Sutherland allegedly headbutted fashion designer Jack McCollough. Some say McCollough bumped into Brooke Shields, but his rep says, "he was the victim of a vicious, violent, unprovoked assault." [People]

• Brooke Shields' rep insists "nothing happened to her" and that "Jack did nothing inappropriate." Police plan to interview Shields and Sutherland. [E!]
• Carrie Prejean sent Keith Lewis, Co-Executive Director of Miss California USA, an email about the topless pictures of her on the internet. She wrote, "This was when I was 17 years old. I was a minor. It was when I was first getting into the modeling world, being naive, and young. I shouldnt (sic) have taken the photo of me in my underwear. There are no other photos of me. This was the only one I took." But, TMZ says someone sent them four pictures over the weekend, but they didn't publish them because her rep said she was only 17. Lewis responded, "I'm absolutely stunned. This completely changes things for us. Yesterday we thought she had explained things accurately. We need to revisit this issue with her." [TMZ]
• As Carrie Prejean suggested in her statement on the topless photos yesterday, her rep says, "It's not a semi-nude pose because she's modeling for lingerie." That would mean she has not violated her Miss California contract that says she may not pose nude or semi-nude. [TMZ]
• Deanna Hummel, the woman whose brother told Us that she's having an affair with Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8, says it's not true. "My brother is making this all up," Hummel says. "He has no credibility ... I can't even stomach the lies he's saying about me. My brother is very shady," says Hummel. "He has no job. He has a criminal background. He was charged for drug distribution. He's on probation right now." [People]
• Earlier this week two bystanders were injured in a car crash stunt on the set of the Nicholas Cage movie Sorcerer's Apprentice in Times Square. Last night, the crew crashed into a parked car when swerving to avoid a taxi and while filming in Brooklyn a fire broke out at a cleaner's and parked production trucks may have blocked firefighters. Gothamist asks, "How many people have to be hospitalized before Nic Cage's reign of terror ends?" [Gothamist]
• Tyler Perry's alleged stalker, Dawne Wilson, was indicted yesterday on a felony aggravated stalking charge. She will be arraigned tomorrow. [TMZ]
• Today Tyra Banks told Rachel Ray that she's glad she lost prom queen in high school, because otherwise she might have become "a bigheaded bitch." [E!]
• Paris Hilton is being sued by movie producers who say she didn't do enough to promote the film Pledge This!, which subsequently bombed. When being questioned about her cell phone usage, Hilton said, "I've never looked at my phone bill in my entire life," adding that she has no idea who does pay the bill. "With my phone I never know, because I lose it all the time," she testified. "I probably get a new cell phone like every two weeks." [The Smoking Gun]
• Judd Apatow said in order to secure a PG-13 rating for his film Year One, he had to cut a joke about "a certain character who could put a part of his anatomy in his own mouth. I don't think you can say that online. It's not one of the main characters. We removed that. It was definitely one of our favorite jokes." [NY Magazine]
• Michelle Obama filmed her Sesame Street appearance yesterday and said, "I think it's probably the best thing I've done so far in the White House." The Daily Mail pointed out that she's met the Queen. We still don't see anything wrong with Michelle's statement. [Gawker]
• Here's a list of 10 famous people who have been banned from entering the U.K., including Martha Stewart, Snoop Dogg, and Barack Obama's half-brother. [Mental Floss]
• The Associated Students of the University of Arizona are almost one million dollars in debt from putting on a concert featuring Jay-Z and Kelly Clarkson. The students gave away 4,000 tickets assuming they would make up the money they paid the performers from advertising sales, but due to the recession the ad revenue didn't come pouring in. [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Garner co-wrote an editorial on the Huffington Post to advocate for early childhood education on behalf of Save the Children. [HuffPo]
• Jennifer Garner credits her sister Melissa with her success. "If I'm totally honest, I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for the fact that I have this bigger-than-life, incredible older sister," says Garner. "She's beautiful, and she was valedictorian, got a 1600 on her SATs and was the head majorette. I was just the middle kid, kind of looking for attention. So that's what drove me, I think, to do things she wasn't doing." [The Independent]
• Now The Daily Mail is attacking Gwyneth Paltrow for suggesting in her GOOP newsletter that people should use natural beauty products, which seems pretty unfair. [Style]
• There are so many X-Men spinoff movies in the work it's hard to keep track. After X-Men Origins: Wolverine's big opening weekend, it has been announced there will be a sequel to that film starring Hugh Jackman, and Ryan Reynold's character Deadpool will get his own film. Fox is also working on a X-Men Origins film about Magneto and another called X-Men: First Class by O.C. creator Josh Schwartz. [E!]
• You can watch the new U2 music video for "Magnificent" here: [Rolling Stone]
• Kylie Minogue will perform in six North American cities this fall, in her first concert tour of the continent. [People]
• MTV Movie Awards host Andy Samburg made a fake "Best Fight" nomination video starring Will Arnett and Bill Hader. Watch it here: [Video Gum]
• Food critic Gael Greene Tweeted the a TV pilot based on her memoir is in production. She said, "Uma Thurman is standing by to play me." [Eater]
• South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are big Monty Python fans. "I'd love to meet John Cleese - he is a legend. The real struggle is to find the story," says Stone, "We don't set out to offend. We always do - but that's not the starting point." [The Daily Express]
• Katy Perry says that three years ago she and her boyfriend at the time got "fake married" in Las Vegas. She explains, "We took all the pictures with the minister, with the fake cake, in the fake chapel and got a fake marriage certificate. We went and bought a wedding dress and a suit at a thrift store, and scanned the pictures and the certificate to my family members, my manager at the time [and] totally freaked the shit out of them." [People]
• The Barnsley House hotel in the Cotswolds, which celebrities such as Gwyneth Paltrow, Elizabeth Hurley, and Nicole Kidman have stayed in, is for sale as debts have put the company that owns it out of business. [The Guardian]
• Tom Hanks has produced three of the past five films he starred in. He said, "I'm certainly not in it for the business. I mean, it's not like I need the job. I guess, if the truth be told, I didn't want to be at the mercy of the marketplace. I don't want to have to wait for the phone to ring to say, 'You now get to create something.' As an actor I am always waiting for my luck to run out. Now, I'm very lucky that, as yet, that hasn't happened, but I'm very aware that, any time now, the marketplace could say, 'That's it, we're done with you.' If I am producing, I can create something every day and it's a darn sight more fun than woodworking or building a stereo." [The Telegraph]