Demi Moore Gets Candid With A Giraffe

Today in Tweet Beat, there's no airbrushing for Demi Moore or the giraffe, Ice-T flosses about all of his Xboxes, and Kim Zolciak is making a wig for Chris Crocker. More »

Fists Pumpin' And Christmas-Themed Acrylic Nails

Today in Tweet Beat, The Situation wants some fist pumps, as does Nicole Richie, and Kelly Bensimon wants us all to know—via Twitter—that she has integrity. More »

Oprah Discovers Porn, Jenna Jameson

Today's episode was all about how women are not only viewing porn to get off, but viewing it as a viable career option. Guest Jenna Jameson discussed her experiences, regrets, and how she doesn't consider herself a blow job "professional." More »

Lindsay Lohan Tries To Start Dramz With Samantha Ronson

Today in Tweet Beat, Lindsay catches Sam in a lie, Sarah Palin is finally about to shut down her Governor of Alaska Twitter account, Solange is out-fashioned Beyoncé, and Rivers Cuomo is having a baby (with his wife). More »

Chris Brown Is Still Tweeting About Rihanna

Today in Tweet Beat, Chris Brown still misses Rihanna and dishes out advice to men, Jenna Jameson wants everyone to know she didn't turn her back on porn, and Kendra Wilkinson is writing a book. More »

Billy Ray Cyrus' Twitter Gets Hacked

Today in Tweet Beat, some "butthole" hacked into Billy Ray Cyrus' account, Sherri Shepherd gives relationship advice, and Jessica Simpson wants you to respect her dead dog's memory. More »

Eli Roth Is A Mama's Boy

Today in Tweet Beat, Eli Roth's mom breaks into his house to leave him home-cooked meals, Stephanie Pratt is reading a book, and Elizabeth Taylor needs your prayers. More »

Jenna Jameson To Become A Mommy Blogger

Today in Tweet Beat, Jenna Jameson is about to join the mommy blogger ranks, Stephanie Pratt talks some behind-the-scenes shit on The City stars, and Miley Cyrus' lack of Morrissey knowledge pisses off Frances Bean Cobain. More »

Lindsay Knows Her Burglar; Hasselhoff's Problem From Meds, Not Booze

• This is not surprising: Nick Prugo, the 18-year-old accused of burglarizing Lindsay Lohan's house, was seen hanging out with Lindsay on the set of Labor Pains at least 10 times.

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Tyra Has A Message For The Children

Today in Tweet Beat, Paris Hilton is making sure the less fortunate will look more ridiculous, Kim Zolciak hangs out with Liza Minnelli, and Oprah announces her new book club selection. More »

Celebs React To Kanye At The VMAs

Today in Tweet Beat, celebs like Chris Brown, Pink, Katy Perry, Jenna Jameson, and Ricky Martin all turn to Twitter to weigh in on Kanye West's behavior at last night's VMAs. More »

Real Housewife Pretends Like She's Friends With Real Celebs On Twitter

Today in Tweet Beat, Kim Kardashian loves the lame Coco Perez, Sherri Shephard loves gorgeous men and buffalo wings, and Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kim Zolciak loves to act like she's friends with celebrities on Twitter. More »

"Let's Cut Off Jenna Jameson's Clit And See If It Grows Back"

Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. Another great week of woman-bashing on the internet, you guys. Fergie's gender gets questioned — as does the gender of Julie Andrews. What has she ever done to anyone? Besides playing beloved icons Mary Poppins and Fraulein Maria? In addition: Denise Richards "used to be one of the hottest pieces of ass on earth," Kelly Clarkson is too fat to be naked and Kim Kardashian looks like a tranny call girl. Sigh. The offenders, their crimes and sentences, after the jump. (And, because these sites rely on readers and suck the life out of them the way parasites rely on hosts, all sentences today will be parasitic infestations.) More »