1. You could almost blame it all on his enabling assistant Doug Band.
Responsible for introducing Bill to Anne Hathaway's deadbeat boyfriend? Check. Wrote that aggro letter telling that restaurant to take Chelsea's photo off the wall? Check. Married to a handbag designer? Check. Okay, but even this guy, Clinton's "butt boy" turned right hand man, doesn't think Bill should be hanging out with fucking Ron Burkle, which brings us to…

2.But whatever, once a cad, always a fucking cad.
Back in 1992, some AIDS activists gave Bill a bucket of condoms, to which he "instantly" replied, “My staff thinks this is the last thing I need.” Ha ha ha, fast forward to the post-how-that-shit-got-him-impeached part and he is hanging out with Elizabeth Hurley's babydaddy Steve Bing and supermarket magnate Ron Burkle, whose private jet is nicknamed Air Fuck One and who leads what they call a "European lifestyle," perhaps because that is the continent of origin of so many of the models on Air Fuck One, but in any case, as one of Burkle's aides says, “How many older guys wouldn’t want to hang out with younger girls, if they could? Would you rather hang out with a smart, good-looking 20-year-old, or a 45-year-old?” (Hm.) He's stirred up side-fuckery rumors with everyone from Canadian politico Belinda Stronach to Gina Gershon to some lady in Chappaqua to another lady at the Aspen Institute and a "ravishing entourage in a New York elevator" about whom a former Clinton aide said a "business leader" said upon seeing them, "I don’t know what the guy was doing, but it was so clear that it was just no good." Four former Clinton aides tell Vanity Fair that about 18 months ago, one of the president’s former assistants, who still advises him on political matters, tried to stage an "intervention."

3. Monica was kind of cool for a starstruck 25-year-old intern.
According to Andrew Morton’s Monica’s Story, Lewinsky was about to deliver her Christmas gifts to Bill when she learned Eleanor Mondale, Clinton's jogging partner on whom he had a known crush, had been with him at the White House.“Do you think I would be stupid enough to go running with someone I was foolin’ with?,” Clinton later asked Lewinsky, to which she said, “Do you want me to answer that?” Plus:

4. The last night Bill and Monica were together he serenaded her with the song "Try A Little Tenderness."
Was it gratuitous of Purdum to excerpt the "shabby dress" line? Oh, probs, but barf anyway.

5. Ron Burkle isn't the worst of it, oh hell no, because in 2002 Bill Clinton flew to Africa with Jeff Epstein on Jeff's private 727.
Jeffrey. Fucking. Epstein. Jeff Epstein, folks. He knows how to pick em.

6. Abbreviated list of nefarious dictatorships whose business relationships with Clinton would probably conflict with Hillary's interests, if they were not likely also funding her campaign, since their finances are comingled since, oh yeah, I almost forgot, they are still married.
Kazakhstan: a dictatorship. I mean, guys named Nursultan Nazarbayev don't just get elected. Clinton was involved with some shady miner's bid to work on some sort of natural resources project I don't really remember.
Ukraine: this photo of Bill Clinton hanging out with Leonid Kuchma, the former Ukrainian dictator-type who likes to poison enemies, made a poisoned journalist's widow want to "throw up."
Dubai: Has a lot of money, obviously, but also not the world's best human rights record, and Hillary rejected the whole Ports sale, so why he is hanging out with them?
Peaceful Reunification of China — He gave some speech for this crew, which advocates "reunification" of China, which would be a nice idea if it didn't involve a vastly corrupt authoritarian dictatorship engulfing what has arguably become Asia's most vibrant democracy.
The Vatican? — And remember this story?

7. He is, in every tense of the word, a fucking liar.
He lies about how he had the lowest net worth of any president of the 20th century when he got elected — actually Harry Truman holds that distinction — but meanwhile, while Harry Truman went totally broke in post-presidency, only gaining solvency when he sold the family farm to a mall developer. Bill Clinton has made more money than almost anyone who ever came out of the public sector, and more of that money has come from taxpayers than any other living ex-president. Also in his book Giving, Clinton wrote that Ron Burkle's job was the "only private sector offer" he ever took since leaving office, but actually, aside from his ninety gazillion dollars in speakers fees he's made more than $3 million in consulting fees from a shady data-mining company called InfoUSA which was once sued by its shareholders for wasting nearly $1 million in company funds flying the Clintons around the world.

The Comeback Id [Vanity Fair]

Not that he is likely to admit that he did anything wrong. Throughout his ordeal, Epstein maintained the air that there was nothing sordid about his actions. His wealth seems to have endowed him with utter shamelessness, the emperor's new clothes with an erection. Even Alan Greenspan has lately raised the moral questions brought on by the gap between the rich and poor: The poor will begin to feel that the social contract was not made in good faith. Epstein's friends say that on this matter, he has a philosophical position. "Fundamentally," Wolff says, "it's about math. That on a macro level it inevitably happens that the rich get richer. And then at some level the rich get richer on a geometric basis. Jeffrey's point is that this whole issue is—it's just mathematics at this point. This is the nature of a successful economy. The more successful the economy is, and that would be the goal of everybody, a successful economy, the greater the discrepancy actually is." There is no better place to observe how Epstein's mathematics work than Palm Beach. The only signs of life are crews of Spanish-speaking laborers on teetering ladders clipping the high hedges, not far from Bulgari and Valentino and Tiffany. It is a few miles on the other side of the bridge to where the girls came from, the shabby sprawl of West Palm Beach, with trailer parks, boys crouched on motor scooters, and pickup trucks under sun tents. Haley Robson's house is on an unpaved road by an irrigation ditch. An attractive blonde in her forties answers the door wearing pistachio Capri pants, and promptly slams it. "We have absolutely no comment about the Epstein case."

Anyway, I'm not sure what's so disturbing about this. I mean, duh, rich men think they are entitled to sex with whomever because they are rich. A lot of guys think they are entitled to sex with whomever they want, and they're not even rich. There's also a lot in this case that reminds me of Dov Charney, and the way that he is so insistent all the time that he is just so normal, and then the way that other dudes who know Dov Charney talk about Dov Charney as if he is sorta normal, and then this letter that came over the transom last night:

Spotted at the American Apparel Flea Market at the Downtown LA factory this afternoon—a very bearded Dov Charney, personally supervising what boxes went where(i.e., large sizes at the far end, almost out of sight). Also, he handed me a pair of leggings and told me he thought they would "hug my body nicely". He then told some of my friends and I that we should definitely consider applying for jobs at the AA store. All I could think about was your I Work Retail piece, and I spent the rest of the day feeling gross, with the occasional flashes of flattered, which in turn made me feel even more gross.

The Fantasist

Judging a person by the size of their television can be very accurate especially if the guy is older. Generally men with small televisions are either intellectuals, cheapskates, or travel a lot. One of the finest men I know has a 15" screen. However should he meet the right girl he would buy a 50" hdtv right away.

William Unroch Should Totally Be On America's Next Top Model [NY Mag]