Hidden amongst the vapid muck are a few genuine pearls of wisdom, like this quote from Clint Eastwood:

As you get older, you're not afraid of doubt. Doubt isn't running the show. You take out all the self-agonizing.

And Eminem’s secret to a happier life:

If you don't overlook the fact of what you look like, then no one else will.

And then there’s this little gem from Shepard Smith:

Facts are good things to have when making decisions. If Sarah Palin didn't know that Africa was a continent, I think that's information that people could have used.

While Chloe Sevigny does not offer any significant insight about the meaning of life, she does hit on something that has bugged us before:

I always found it distracting to be watching a movie and there was a love scene and the girl had her bra on.

On the other hand, we have Paris Hilton:

The best thing I've ever bought with money is my house. I call it my Paris Palace. It's beautiful. Every room has beautiful crystal chandeliers and amazing moldings from Italy. When people come over they say, "Hey, this looks just like you."

And Jeb Bush:

The best thing that's happened in my brother's eight years in office is that since September 11, 2001, we haven't been attacked on our soil. Given the fact that there are a lot of well-financed people in groups whose organizing principle is to destroy America, I would say that's a pretty good accomplishment.

But the wisdom of Dwight Shrute (why is he on this list? Does Esquire think The Office is reality TV?) falls into a category of its own:

The difference between sex and love can usually be complicated, but I think I've found a way to keep them straight in my head: You love your parents, but you sex your girlfriend. I have it written down in a couple of places.

From Hollywood To Washington, 10 Celebs On The Meaning Of Life [Esquire]

• Clinton told her supporters to stop talking smack about Caroline Kennedy unless they're going to endorse someone else. She doesn't want people to believe it's coming from her. [Politico]

• Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has weighed in with New York Governor David Paterson on Kennedy's behalf. [CNN]
• President Bush is backing his brother Jeb's nascent run for the soon-to-be-empty Florida Senate seat currently held by the retiring Mel Martinez. [The Hill]
• Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich wants the RNC to shut the fuck up already and pull its ads that misleadingly link Barack Obama to corrupt Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. In case you're worried that he's siding with Obama, don't be worried: he's doing at part of the internecine warfare in the GOP. [Huffington Post]
• Hoping to take advantage of that warfare, Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius's withdrawal from Cabinet consideration leads some people to believe she might try to run for the Senate when Republican Senator Sam "Snowflake Baby" Brownback runs for her seat. [Politico]
• The 2008 Minnesota Senate race might even be done by then. [The Hill]
• A grand jury is investigating possible corruption in New Mexico that might ensnare Commerce Secretary nominee (and current governor) Bill Richardson. How grabby were those hands? [Huffington Post]
• Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. says he's been snitching to the feds about Blagojevich since last summer, when Blagojevich held up Jackson's wife's appointment to a state board for political donations. [Huffington Post]
• Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer thinks that being a columnist for Slate "sucks" because he used to be a governor. Hey, asshole, with all these media layoffs, I'll bet they could find someone who would happily write a column for them! (My e-mail is on the masthead, by the way). [Politico]

• "Prayers can help and so can the government." That's Bush on the tornadoes that have killed 50 people throughout the south. Oh right he's still president! I think that means you're better off with "prayer." [Washington Post]
  
• Total votes cast in Dem primaries last night: 7,347,971 for Clinton, 7,294,851 for Obama. [Time]
  
• Hillary Clinton loaned $5 million to the Hillary Clinton campaign. We hope she negotiated some good terms...[Politico]
  
• That $5 million will not be used to actually pay her staff...[Time]
  
• Justice for tainted pet food peddlers from China... [WSJ]

• American Apparel sent a memo to its employees instructing them to vote for Obama or McCain in yesterday's primaries BECAUSE THEY HATE WOMEN. Except illegal alien women. [Politico]
  
• And speaking of illegal, that whole American Apparel stunt was... [Politico]
  
• Not that it matters bc no one in California voted for Obama anyway. [Time]
  
• But the unprecedented under-30 vote in Missouri carried Obama...and Huckabee (?!) to victory. [MTV News]
  
• It's actually a good thing Bush was such a distinctly horrible president bc if he wasn't his brother or that "macaca" guy might have the nomination...[Wash Times]
  
• "Michelle Obama looks good in anything, and Cindy McCain looks scary in everything." [XX Factor]
  
• "Wish I looked that scary..." [XX Factor]
  
• Vladimir Putin's love story: now a heartwarming rom com. [Yahoo! News]