Writing in the Sydney Morning Herald, Celia Walden explains the female sex's supposed antipathy to Knightley thus: "mention of her name prompts women of every age to spring forward, enthralled and enraged, to postulate on the size of her pout, bosom and talent." Why? Well, what's the reason women ever dislike another woman? Jealousy, of course! Says Warden,

Female jealousy is a form of lust, the desire to know every inch of a beautiful woman in the same way that a man wants to through sex. But this lust is more powerful than the male kind, and is what has propelled Knightley to her position as a fashion figurehead, role model and Hollywood actress.

This is thoroughly confusing. Women apparently hate Keira Knightley because they are jealous of her, and are jealous of her because they want to "know every inch of her," and this desire is a form of lust. Also, somehow this hatred/lust is responsible for Knightley's fame. I found all this especially mystifying in light of the fact that my feelings about Knightley could be summed up with a resounding "meh." A "male friend" of Warden's identfies Knightley's problem thus: "She makes this stupid face, just like my girlfriend does when she looks in the mirror." This guy doesn't sound like a very good boyfriend, but I do agree that Knightley seems capable of only one face. It's not stupid, exactly, just kind of startled, and while it looks pretty, it's ultimately not that interesting. Certainly not interesting enough to light the fires of either hate or love.

What does get me kind of riled up, though, is the constant fetishization of female jealousy. We're jealous of Megan Fox, we're jealous of Sarah Palin — we barely have time to get anything done, we're so busy with our envy. Of course, it's a rare woman — or man — who hasn't felt jealous of someone else. But why does women's jealousy get so much play? Walden's piece offers a clue: maybe it's kind of hot.

Walden's claim that female hatred of Keira Knightley is all about lust just makes explicit what's always been a subtext in discussions of jealousy: that the green-eyed monster could lead women into a catfight, or maybe even some hate-fueled girl-on-girl action. Women fighting each other is a time-honored soft-core trope, and all the better if the combatants actually kind of want each other. Of course, Walden and others who've advanced the they're-just-jealous position have been women — including the reader who asked us "is it REALLY honest at all to pretend that a lot of the 'hateration' towards Megan Fox is not attributed to how reader's boyfriends and husbands, male acquaintances would/do react to her?" But this wouldn't be the first time women have knowingly or unknowingly performed for the male gaze, and while there's some truth in what they say — of course, women can be nasty about one another's looks — the sexual focus of their words is telling. Both Fox and Knightley (and, of course, Palin) have made impolitic public statements, but the reason women dislike them must be some strange form of desire — or, in an especially male-centric formulation, their effect on "boyfriends and husbands." Again, this is not to say that women are exclusively acting out a male script when they call out their fellow women for jealousy. But I would argue that the way Female Jealousy is constructed and discussed and invoked ad nauseum does indeed stem from lust — just not women's.

Why We Hate Keira Knightley [Sydney Mornign Herald]

She went on,

Saying that women always simply appreciate another woman's looks without jealousy is a big lie. A HUGE one. Women can be extremely rude, mean, and cutting if they sense another woman may threaten their place in the attractiveness department. This applies especially if that woman is younger. Talk to women who have lost weight amongst a group of friends, and what the reaction was. Talk to women who had childhood friends where someone was a "late bloomer", and ask what the reaction was, and how the group dynamic changed. Talk to women who were called "sluts" in high school, just for being considered beautiful. Talk to women who really are just naturally stunning, and how many other women treat them. Or, go to some rough neighborhoods and talk to young ladies (middle school, high school), who have been physically ATTACKED for being "too cute".

Now, I'd argue that in the case of Fox, my own irritation is as much the public version of that guys'-girl-with-no-girl-friends-because-girls-are-jealous-of-her attitude, that guys always take at face value, as with the actress specifically. After all, I think we all know plenty of stunning women who have no trouble keeping, and maintaining, the friendship of other women. And others, whatever their physical appearance, who've used this line. But she's definitely touched on something we should discuss. Are we, as women, harder on those we perceive as more attractive? And are we dishonest about it? The reader went on,

With all of the discussion on weight, unrealistic standards of beauty, Photoshopping, etc. that are regularly covered, is it REALLY honest at all to pretend that a lot of the "hateration" towards Megan Fox is not attributed to how reader's boyfriends and husbands, male acquaintances would/do react to her? What she represents? Implying that women aren't that insecure, is a fallacy. Otherwise, why the aging creams, Botox, and plastic surgery? The diet threads, the magazine influence on reader's personal perceptions? There are regular commenters on the site who have written about the "shank eye" other women have given them in public spaces.

Are we all hating on Fox because she's beautiful? No. At least, I'm not — for one thing, she's a level of conventional physical perfection that I for one don't even think to compete with. But the reader's larger point is one I really want to hear your takes on. Frankly, I think she's overestimating our collective pettiness, but that doesn't mean there isn't some there. Thoughts?

Earlier: Megan Fox's Minders Are Worried Women Don't Like Her

Says an article via ABC News,

An aspiring 007's dream, SpyAssociates.com markets everything from a "SpyHawk" real-time GPS tracking system and "StealthCam" alarm clock that hides a video camera, to a nearly $2,000 counter surveillance professional package...."Greed, lust and fear are the three high-growth industries and this covers all three," said owner Jeffrey Jurist, adding that his clients include law enforcement, individuals, private investigators and corporations. "Everybody's watching everybody. It's just a matter of whether you're aware of it."

While several people quoted in the article claim that taking such measures is merely to confirm what they already know, it's obviously a bridge too far, and invasive technology like this can help jealousy cross the line from suspicion to stalking. The article sites the example of one woman whose ex-husband had installed a GPS-enabled cell phone in her car that both revealed her location and recorded her conversation, as well as spyware that showed him her email and browsing history, as well as all her financial information and passwords. Her ex was jailed as a result, but this is just one example of an increasingly common scenario.

Obviously, if someone is really unhinged, they're going to stalk regardless. But if a person is not prone to stalking, can the ready availability of such technology really push him over the edge? Power corrupts, and these devices impart a lot of power. Regardless, it does seem like there should be regulation of the sales of these "spy devices," at least akin to the licensing required for gun possession. Good to see the "greed, lust and fear" industries haven't been affected by the recession, though!

When Lovers' Quarrels Go Hi-Tech [ABC News]

Flic cautions the letter-writer against being too aggressive with the ex-girlfriend, because the ex will assume she's "jealous." We say: Who gives a shit if an ex knows you're jealous? Be aggressive with both your dude and his ex. It's fine for her to come around the pub if she's still friends with all the same people, but you need to tell your man to keep the reminiscing to a minimum. And if she persists in rehashing old intimacies, there is nothing wrong with threatening to cut a bitch.

I Hate His Ex [Mirror]
Earlier: Can You Really Stay Friends With An Ex?

• Breaking News! Men go for hot women, according to a speed-dating study. Researchers found that the men in the study "tended to select nearly every woman above a certain minimum attractiveness threshold." However the women chose men whose attractiveness was on par with their own, because every chick knows a hotter dude will dump her in a ditch as soon as something sexier comes along. And this is how Brangelina was born. [CNN]
  
• Law enforcement is posting decoy ads on Craigslist in hopes of catching those who use the site to exchange money for sex. But how else is "Jews or Italians W/ Hot Faces Or Thick Cocks" supposed to find her dream guy? [NY Times]
  
• Oh fiddle dee dee! The hour-glass figure made famous by Sophia Loren, Scarlett O'Hara, and a few missing ribs is no more. Women's waists have grown seven inches in the last 50 years. Clearly we have feminism to blame for all that excess breathing room. [Daily Mail]

• Family therapy works better than individual therapy in treating bulimia. When Mommy insists that "no one loves a fatty" and Daddy says that ice cream is for losers, we can see why the 'rents might benefit from therapy too. [NY Times]
• Chronic stress may give some women fertility problems. So just relax, sit back, and spread 'em! [NY Times]
• One in 20 pregnant women smoke while one in 25 continue to drink even after they find out they're with child. Ladies, you have the rest of your lives to kill yourself with lung cancer and liver disease — let the child choose whether they want to party like it's 1999 after they come out of the womb, okay? [Daily Mail]
• A 14-year old girl stabbed her 16-year-old sister to death in a dispute over a guy. We repeat, over a guy. Sigh. This is depressing. Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield got into some cat fights over guys (remember Todd Wilkins?), but they never forgot the sisterhood. [Daily Mail]
• A serial stalker in the UK has been banned from being alone with any woman in Scotland for five years. Does it count as alone if he's 20 feet away, crouching behind a telephone pole? [BBC News]
• Women are more likely to die from major heart surgeries than men according to a study from the European Society of Cardiology. As a result, the group is reconsidering it's treatment of heart problems for women as the usual go-to-treatments like angioplasties and bypasses (which help men) are more likely to result in death in women. [MSNBC]
• Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is a leading cause of infertility but according to MSNBC there's a far greater price to pay — the acne and facial hair that sprouts as a result of increased testosterone. Totally fucking humiliating. [MSNBC]
• A Kansas teen died when she jumped onto the back of her boyfriend's SUV as he drove away with another girl — the cheating bf didn't bother to stop when he heard "something" fall of the back of his car. He's being charged with reckless murder — not to mention being the worst boyfriend ever. [KCTV.com]