Sexy Douchebag Ryan Lochte Doesn't Know What a Douchebag Is

On last night's premiere of What Would Ryan Lochte Do? we learned more about the Olympic swimmer in 30 minutes than he's seemingly learned in all of his 28 years—which is to say: not much. However, we did discover that he doesn't know what a douchebag is, even though he's read (or is at least aware of) the Jezebel… » 4/22/13 11:25am 4/22/13 11:25am

Ryan Lochte Is Getting a Ryan Lochte Reality Show About What Ryan…

Now this is happening. It's happening. It's time. It's now. It's coming. E! has confirmed that they're ordering six episodes of What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, a reality series chronicling all of the different kinds of things that Ryan Lochte would do. (Spoiler: 43 of the 44 things Ryan Lochte would do involve boners.) » 1/07/13 8:00pm 1/07/13 8:00pm

Ryan Lochte, Boy Genius, Announces Amazing Discoveries About Water,…

Olympic gold medalist and soon-to-be 30 Rock "sex idiot" Ryan Lochte has captured America's imagination with his chiseled pecks and flaccid, chlorine addled mind. And while his time in the public eye has been characterized by such knowledge nuggets as "Getting back in shape is rough but luv it" and "The world is my… » 9/27/12 5:15pm 9/27/12 5:15pm

Ryan Lochte Is Dangerously Close to Getting His Own Reality Show. This…

There's been a lot of talk about what Ryan Lochte, he of the shame-crush and platinum grill, will do now that he's finished competing in the 2012 Summer Olympics, with all signs pointing the fancy frat boy towards reality TV. Will he go on Dancing with the Stars? Will he be the Bachelor? According to Lochte, he and… » 8/30/12 1:30pm 8/30/12 1:30pm

Ryan Lochte Absolutely Must Be The Next Bachelor. For America.

Before the water had finished dripping from US swimmer Ryan Lochte's itty bitty Speedos, the gold medalist was angling for post-Olympics acting and reality TV show gigs. (Can you blame him? Jewel encrusted flag grills are expensive, swimming doesn't pay like TV, and he's saving up for a Union Jack.) While his… » 8/17/12 4:40pm 8/17/12 4:40pm

Ryan Lochte Is a Really Good Actor, You Guys

US Swimmer Ryan Lochte has made no secret of his plans to Kardashian/Krusty the Klown-level whore himself out now that the Olympics are over. He's expressed interest in everything from The Bachelor to Dancing With the Stars, and yesterday he took a break from his busy schedule filming his guest appearance on 90210 » 8/16/12 1:00pm 8/16/12 1:00pm

Here's Ryan Lochte's Piss-Happy Acting Debut

Ryan Lochte has been threatening to try acting for several days now, and he's followed through in record time (we should have expected that one of the fastest men in the water would quickly swim to an indelible part of the pop culture psyche). Here's his first installment of LochTV, a Funny or Die video series that… » 8/09/12 4:00pm 8/09/12 4:00pm