This is what January Jones looked like when she was nine. First things first — where is that shirt sold and how much will it cost me?
Genius Jumpsuits at the Women in Film Crystal + Lucy Awards
Last night at Women In Film's 2013 Crystal + Lucy Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California, actresses celebrated the 40th anniversary of Women In Film. Forty-nine year old Laura Linney received the Crystal Award for excellence in film and said: "There certainly is a wider diversity of roles…
Brad Pitt Retires Stunt Cock: No More Sex Scenes
If a sexually-dissatisfied Southern woman happens to be on the lam with her friend, she can no longer count on glistening young cowboy drifter Brad Pitt to make the fuck with her. Why? Because he doesn't do onscreen sex scenes anymore, out of respect for Angelina Jolie, and she does the same for him.
Please Leave January Jones to Be a Bitch in Peace
January Jones is a stone cold bitch. You know it, I know it and a whole slew of other people who've never actually met her know it, too. There is a slim chance that we might be conflating Jones with Mad Men's Betty Francis, but — hell — who has time to differentiate between actor and character when there's a pretty…
This Week in Tabloids: Miley's Fiancé Is Hooking Up With January Jones
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Tanisha Love Ramirez does us the honor of hitting the newsstand and buying the hot-off-the-presses issues of In Touch, Star, Ok!, Life & Style and Star. We're on a mission to find actual "news" in the tabloids, though we seldom succeed. For instance: This week, Kim…
Spring Got Sprung All Over the Red Carpet. Finally.
Last night in Santa Monica, CA, celebs gathered for the the 3rd Annual Coach Evening to benefit Children's Defense Fund. There were lots of Coach bags — possibly thrust upon the stars just so they'd be photographed? — but also delightful floral dresses, fun shoes and pretty hair. Good-bye winter, hello spring, you…
Jennifer Aniston and Her Huge, Huge Engagement Ring Are Planning Their Wedding
The noted tabloid duality of Jennifer Aniston—beautiful, charismatic millionaire actress or SAD CRONE FISHWIFE FROM THE LAND OF THE UNLOVED WOMEN?!!!—finally comes to an end soon because she's planning her wedding to Justin Theroux. Yes, folks, the dude who was on one episode of Sex and The City as a premature…
Kathie Lee and Hoda Are in a Chardonnay-Soaked Feud
No! The wonderfully batty, tipsy holy duo of Hoda and Kathie Lee are boiling with resentment thanks to that classic American triptych of greed, geography and sheer carnal impulse. (I may have thrown that third one in.) Apparently Kathie Lee has been lobbying to move Today to Los Angeles for quite some time, and her…
Dakota Fanning Celebrates Adulthood With First Nude Scene
Right around the moment Dakota Fanning made out with Kristen Stewart-as-Joan Jett in The Runaways, you may have realized that she's segued from her super-driven, super-child-actressy days (see: Amy Poehler's SNL sendup) to her eyeliner-skinny jeans-posing-for-Marc Jacobs-ads-going-to-Coachella period. But the Kote's…
Serial Dater John Mayer Lurches Over To Allison Williams
Despite Katy Perry's best efforts, one cannot domesticate the Wild Striped Douchebag, and John Mayer is no exception. Like the Countess Elizabeth Báthory, best remembered for bathing in the blood of virgins to retain her youth, it was only a matter of time before Mayer found the latest zeitgeisty female It-person and…
