Barack Obama gave his Don't-Call-It-A-State-Of-The-Union State of the Union speech last night, which you can read here but I will summarize as follows: economy bad, America strong, gonna get better with your help and money from Congress, inspiration, Hope, Change, hey Michelle! and fin. You know, typical Obama speech. It was followed up by a bedtime story from Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal as read to a class of 2nd graders. Even though the post-SOTU speeches are generally universally terrible and anyone who wants a permanent place on the national stage ought to know better than to agree to give one, even Republicans agree that Jindal's was worse than normal and it didn't help that he referenced the federal government response to Katrina as a positive thing and then gave props to a racist sheriff. Eric Holder, who was watching in an undisclosed location in case of catastrophe, was probably pissed that he was in an undisclosed location watching it since the rest of the Cabinet probably wasn't even home yet and didn't have to suffer like him.

But wait! There was other news! Like the fact that the White House let it slip just before Obama's speech that the Administration is going to do a 19 instead of a 16 month pull-out from Iraq and it is going to leave about 50,000 troops there even when they're done pulling out (which does, unfortunately, tend to be how the Withdrawal Method works, after all). Illinois Senator Dick Durbin announced that he'd suggested Roland Burris resign and Burris refused because he really likes being Senator and hasn't been charged with anything... which is just like how David Vitter likes being Senator and didn't want to resign over getting caught banging hookers, only David Vitter doesn't think the scandals are the same because Roland Burris isn't getting laid.

In the meantime, the Senate finally coughed up a confirmation for Hilda Solis to be Labor Secretary and a bunch of Republicans remained grumpy about it. Janet Napolitano isn't going to play with your fear of terrorism by saying the word "terrorism" constantly, which Republican Congressman Peter King of Long Island thinks is a terrible thing because, how else is he supposed to get re-elected if not by beating the 9/11 drum that Rudy so helpfully left for him?

Lastly, People is reporting that the White House puppy is coming in April, following spring break. Michelle's leaning toward a Portuguese water dog, but they haven't picked out a name yet, so start your suggestions below.

With all the focus on Hillary Clinton's confirmation hearing Tuesday, we've sort of been neglecting the hearings of the other women of the Obama Administration, which have been going equally swimmingly. Lisa Jackson, Barack Obama's EPA nominee, faced down tough questions from Republicans who are really keen not to see anyone actually regulate at the EPA and are scared to death that companies might have to stop poisoning our environment in the name of Progress. But Jackson thinks science should trump political ideology — who'da thunk? — and said that environmental negligence weighs on her conscience. And you thought Hillary Clinton's hearings were hot.

And if you're not full-up with the womanly awesomeness yet, go check out the New York Times' article about Janet Napolitano in which it's mentioned that she quotes Monty Python, has a photographic memory, laughs at Ed Rendell and plans, basically, to save the world. Oh, and she represented Anita Hill. Come back when you're done swooning, because we're about to get to the bad news portion of the morning.

And that bad news is, of course, related exclusively to Obama's dudely nominees who — one by one — are either facing contentious confirmation hearings or delayed confirmation hearings for being, at a minimum, idiots. First up is Eric Holder, whose hearing is today. He get to face questions about the Mark Rich and FALN pardons, his involvement with a long-ago Gore fundraiser at a Buddhist temple (that's one for Napolitano's photographic memory banks, geez) and Rod Blagojevich, so it should be fun. But, hey, at least he's not Alberto Gonzales, right? Right? Are those crickets I hear?

Next up on the controversy train is Treasury nominee Tim Geithner, whose new problems stem from having neglected to pay self-employment taxes for four years despite having gotten paid extra by the IMF to offset the additional tax liability. Most everyone thinks that, like Holder, he'll nonetheless be confirmed, mostly because Republicans are unwilling to make a big deal about it because they think he's practically one of them, but his confirmation hearing has been delayed.

Finally, the newest nominee to face a delay is Republican Congressman and Transportation Secretary nominee Ray LaHood who, in the wake of the Blago scandal, might face just a touch more scrutiny at his hearing what with all his earmarks that benefited campaign donors. God, when was the last time there was a Republican corruption scandal?

Not that any of this is rubbing off on Obama, who is riding high in the polls and facing tremendous pressure to do politically popular things like eliminate torture, use the bail-out money for the housing crisis and adopt an appropriate dog. He's going to face more pressure to stay at the Inaugural Balls for more than 10 minutes.

And I could talk about Israel bombing more UN civilian targets in Gaza, but I'm scared that Joe the Motherfucking Plumber might be mean to me. CNN's Rick Sanchez, though, is not and he took him on yesterday in a segment that made my ladybits tingle.

Oh, Timmy Geithner. I liked him — really I did — when Barack Obama tapped him instead of Larry Summers. He was young! He was fun! And then he suggested Obama should fire Sheila Bair from the FDIC and a little of the luster wore off. And now with the taxes thing. Leaving aside the nanny issue — did the Obama vetters really forgot Zoe Baird? or did he hire the people that vetted Palin? — having a man astride the Treasury Department (which is, of course, atop the IRS) who managed to fuck up his taxes to the tune of $42,000 this decade and didn't even finish paying them off until November of this year isn't a good plan even if he does snowboard. And don't even get me started on the Obama team passing out Bush-esque talking points to make us all think it's ok — it's not like we're talking about someone headed up transportation had a little tax error. This would be like the Transportation Secretary having an drunk driving accident last year while not wearing a seatbelt, or the Secretary of Labor hiring an illegal nanny (cough, Zoe Baird, cough) or Obama's Car Czar driving a Lexus or the head of Health and Human Services illegally getting his scrips filled in Canada. Bad call, Obama dudes. Obama needs to get himself some new vetters and a new Treasury nominee.

Other nominations, though, seem to be pretty well on track, like Clinton's, whose confirmation hearings yesterday went pretty well, and, rumor has it, Janet Napolitano who will likely coast through even easier than Clinton did. Clinton, in fact, has a 65 percent positive rating among Americans these days, something she might want to keep in mind as she considers Senator Lugar's (and the Washington Post's, and the New York Times') advice to reconsider the disclosures about Bill Clinton's foundations that she's agreed to but that no one is quite sure are adequate.

In other tales of inadequacy, a former Gitmo prosecutor is coming forward to say that pretty much everything related to prosecuting Gitmo detainees in inadequate, from evidence collection to missing evidence to torturiffic confessions, which surprises no one but his bosses who, like, totally swear he's just a disgruntled former employee — except this country is now filled with disgruntled former employees, most of whom don't like aspersions cast on their characters. And, in fact, the top Bushie in charge of the prosecutions agrees that there was a little too much torture going on down there to be able to move forward with some prosecutions, which should be a blow for the other Bushies but they're all too busy looking for new jobs and protecting their legacies to give any more of a shit than they did when they were authorizing torture. I mean, Bush's priority is protecting an attack, not the Constitution, despite that whole swearing-in thing that he did twice where he promised the latter and not the former.

Bush's ideological brothers-in-arms broke bread with Obama last night at George Will's house at a dinner party that including Will, Bill Kristol, David Brooks and Charles Krauthammer. I can only imagine the hangover he has this morning — between that and his first veto threat yesterday (it's his bail-out money and he wants it now!), it was definitely a drinking kind of evening. But at least the Fed has his back that Congress needs to release the rest of the bailout money, not that anyone cares because they're all flexing their muscles and trying to improve the relative power of the legislative branch after 8 years of getting buried by Bushies.

The real headache for Obama (or extra savvy PR move by David Axelrod, which is more likely) is that it's just now that Obama unequivocally backed gay marriage in 1996 before he had to flip-flop and say that he didn't in order to win the Presidential election. Unlike Barack Obama's wishy-washyness on gay marriage, Al Sharpton may have melted my cold, cold heart of disdain for him by what he said to California churches this weekend about their support for the discriminatory Prop 8:

"There is something immoral and sick about using all of that power to not end brutality and poverty, but to break into people's bedrooms and claim that God sent you."

Oh, and there is more, and it's even fucking hotter.

"It amazes me," he said, "when I looked at California and saw churches that had nothing to say about police brutality, nothing to say when a young black boy was shot while he was wearing police handcuffs, nothing to say when they overturned affirmative action, nothing to say when people were being [relegated] into poverty, yet they were organizing and mobilizing to stop consenting adults from choosing their life partners."

"I am tired," he went on, "of seeing ministers who will preach homophobia by day, and then after they're preaching, when the lights are off they go cruising for trade...We know you're not preaching the Bible, because if you were preaching the Bible we would have heard from you.

I hate myself for loving you, Al Sharpton.

In the latest clusterfuckery that has become the race to convince David Paterson who he should appoint to fill the remainder of Hillary Clinton's Senate seat, New York Republicans are trying to force a special election based on Blagojevich and Burris, not that they'll succeed, Bloomberg is trying to be governor before he's even challenged Paterson in 2010and send La Kennedy to the Senate and Paterson is still quietly conducting his secret interviews and application-reading. So it's going well and won't be a giant mess no matter what happens.

JASON: Good morning, sunshine.

MEGAN: Harrumph. My mother used to mock me in the mornings like that when I lived at home.

JASON: I'm sure your mother didn't see it as mocking you.

MEGAN: No, you haven't met my parents, mocking one another's foibles is part of our deal. We tend to talk a lot about my father's bathroom habits, too.

JASON: The whole Carpentier family coat-of-arms must be disturbing to look at!

MEGAN: Holidays are fun in my house. One year, after chili was consumed, we forced my father to fart outside, only it was so cold that when he went out there his asshole puckered up too tight to squeeze it out. We still tell that story with glee.

JASON: Wow. Now if that doesn't read like the lost verse of the Little Drummer Boy! "My asshole is frozen shut, pa-rump-pump-pump-pum!"

MEGAN: The real problem is finding a news story to tie to that, which I'm at a loss for, so I'm just going to embed "Jizz in My Pants" at this moment, which is what prompted all my scatological Christmas memories.

Which reminded me of my friend ****, who about 10 years ago around this time told me how he did that exact same thing over Thanksgiving break at a strip club in front of all his friends. And, finally, I can embed a news story. Indian authorities are making the Mumbai terrorist parade around in nothing but his undies to prevent him from killing himself. I'm assuming that, if he were like my friend, keeping him in his underwear might actually provoke suicide.

JASON: "Jizz In My Pants" will be the first single from INCREDIBAD, by Andy Samberg's old comedy group, The Lonely Island, who are the people behind the SNL Digital Shorts.

MEGAN: For whatever reason, I read "Lonely Island" as "Long Island," but that might be because that's from whence my quick-to-the-draw friend hails.

JASON: Look, I'm just glad that someone has a definition of "extreme lengths" that stops at "making him wear nothing but underwear" and doesn't involve the sort of things that make Mike Mukasey jizz in his pants. "I hook electrodes, to a brown man's balls and I JIZZ IN MY PANTS."

MEGAN: You know whom else I'm betting lets loose with a couple of teaspoons-full now and again? Michael Chertoff, when he's listening to illegal wiretap tapes. Also, a ton of liberals when Bush said "Welcome to my hanging" this weekend.

JASON: Oh, no doubt. Though Chertoff mostly spews graveyard dust out of his dessicated ghoul-cock. You know Chertoff is a guy that Baby Jesus hates the most. "Waaah. Living-dead abomination! Jizzing graveyeard dust!"

MEGAN: He is, without a doubt, the creepiest-looking guy in Washington. You'd think that he'd look less creepy in person, that maybe it's the TV lights or something. But, no. He really does look exactly that frightening.

JASON: Yeah. And you know, he's not scary-looking? Like we don't even get any sort of terrorist deterrence out of the fact that he's the creepiest fuck in the world. He'd actually be better off if he drew a mad face on a paper bag and wore it around Washington. I guess after Obama takes office it's back to the Jim Rose Sideshow with that guy!

MEGAN: Nah, his wife might get mad if he wore it outside of the bedroom.

JASON: Does he have a wife? I naturally assumed the man fucked mummies, like Dick Morris.

MEGAN: Looking like Chertoff does have it's advantages, though. Like, he always has a Halloween costume. I mean, who does a better Holocaust victim than Michael Chertoff, really?

JASON: OHHH!

MEGAN: Too soon?

JASON: No, no, this was inevitable! Of course, Janet Napolitano has all those qualities that Ed Rendell finds so fascinating.

MEGAN: Tits? Tell me Ed Rendell isn't a titty-fucker. Girls with big boobs recognize 'em a mile away.

JASON: He said: "Janet's perfect for that job. Because for that job, you have to have no life. Janet has no family. Perfect. She can devote, literally, 19-20 hours a day to it."

MEGAN: And, in context of titty-fucking, that statement becomes truly hilarious. If Ed Rendell had a bigger dick, I'd say she'd need a chin guard to prevent bruising. But he doesn't, so I won't. 19-20 hours, though, he'd' best buy stock in Astroglide.

JASON: It's important to point out, AGAIN, something I pointed out throughout the election. And that is that Ed Rendell is the dopiest dumbass in politics. I have no idea how this goober-fuck became Governor of Pennsylvania. It certainly doesn't speak well of Pennsylvanians, and I'm almost sad that Chris Matthews looks like he's gonna re-up at MSNBC, because the Pennsylvanians would have a good chance to prove just how inane they are by putting his dumb ass in the Senate.

MEGAN: Now, let's be fair. Rendell wouldn't even rank in the bottom 10 of dope-y Senators.

JASON: Well, he ranks well among Governors.

MEGAN: He might be number 11, sure, but I don't even think he's stellar enough at being a dumbfuck to rank that high in the Senate.

JASON: He's just such a side-splitting ass, and like Matthews, he's got all these pretensions of knowing what it's like to be working class.

MEGAN: Well, speaking of assholes who like to pretend they're down with the average Joe, Bill Jefferson finally lost re-election in Louisiana. To a Republican community organizer.

JASON: I feel like the Dems in Congress got lucky, there. Now they don't have to make excuses for why they never gave that shitheel Jefferson the mad shun when he was in office.

MEGAN: Nope, now they can focus on not talking about why they won't do anything about Corruption King Charlie Rangel, whose stupefying corruption in office makes Jefferson's bribes seem tame by comparison.

JASON: His legislative director was named one of The Hill's Fifty Most Beautiful People in 2008. They said she had "a mysterious kind of beauty - the kind that unfolds by the minute." I said, "But she works for Louisiana Representative William Jefferson, so hidden in those folds are thousands of dollars in bribes." Yeah, they like, uncover something new and shady about ol' Charlie everyday, don't they? He's become an embarrassment, too.

MEGAN: It's sad, actually, some of his staff were really, really good and they all got completely fucked by his bribe-schemes. Hell, even his colleagues he worked with on African Growth and Opportunity Act (AGOA) saw their accomplishments tarnished by Jefferson's use of the act to gin up money for himself and his relatives.

JASON: Yep. For the 300,000 people applying to put the change in change.gov, I recommend you vet your prospective boss at least as thoroughly as they're vetting you.

MEGAN: Charlie Rangel is beyond embarrassing. You have the chairman of the committee in charge of taxation — including a push to close the tax gap, i.e., reduce cheating — cheating on his fucking taxes. Let alone keeping multi-million dollars in tax breaks afloat for big donors to his library, let alone hitting up every lobbyist in his office for said donations. Let alone using affordable housing units for his offices to avoid having to put his Harlem office in a less ritzy part of Harlem when there's a crisis in affordable housing in New York City.

JASON: I mean, take a walk through his Wikipedia page, and it's a long list of embarrassing offenses. He's probably got one of the safest seats in the goddamn world, though.

MEGAN: Charlie Rangel puts Dollar Bill Jefferson's penny-ante "pay me money and I'll introduce you to African dictators" scheme to shame. But, yeah, he's not going anywhere in his district. And I guarantee the "Ethics" Committee's "investigation" will result in a light tap on the wrist — the kind these very Democrats castigated them for when they did it to Tom DeLay — and they'll hope everyone forgets about it.

JASON: They need to find his fridge full of money.

MEGAN: Bitch, please. Charlie Rangel's probably got it in the floorboards of his house in the Dominican Republic. Too bad you can't ask his wife, since he halted their divorce so she couldn't testify.

JASON: True that. Look, this is why I tell people: send your incumbents home! This is what happens when people never lose their seats, ever. Give them a taste of that undeserved immortality...

MEGAN: Another thing to tell people: do not make Fran Drescher the Senator from New York.

JASON: OY. Whatever the opposite of jizzing in my pants is, I just did it.

MEGAN: Well, then, the thought of George Bush kissing Barbra Streisand can't make it any worse.

JASON: Yep. Basically, my left ball is now off on a merry adventure in my bowels.

MEGAN: Hopefully, it will re-emerge by the time your extremely cute wife gets home from work. Otherwise, please apologize to her from me. I don't try to ruin other women's sex lives.

JASON: Hey, he'll just re-emerge stronger.

MEGAN: Is it weird that I'm having a vision of a Lemmiwinks-like quest for your nut?

JASON: Yes. Yes it is.

MEGAN: Sorry. It's been that kind of morning. I just hope you don't cough it up.

JASON: I'm just going to remember touching Kate Beckinsale last week, and I'll be fine.

MEGAN: Are you sufficiently caffeinated? I am having a Diet Coke jones, but there is nary a bottle in the proximity.

ANA MARIE: Oh, there's Jim Webb the big pumpkin head!

MEGAN: I wonder what he fills it with...

ANA MARIE: Which is to say, not really. But I do like Mr. Pumpkin head. Filled with pumpkin.

MEGAN: I could do with some pumpkin bread.

ANA MARIE: Mike Barnicle is telling Jim Webb that "you know more than anyone about class warfare... you've written about it." And, it's true, Webb knows a lot about class warfare: HE IS FOR IT. He's pretty much for any kind of warfare.

MEGAN: Yeah, I was sort of starting to think to myself, "Jim Webb is an economist?" but then Barnicle kept being all shout-y and I got distracted. He is really pissed at Senators who voted for the AIG bailouts to save those guys' salaries who are now shitting on union pay/benefit packages.

ANA MARIE: We could just turn Crappy Hour into Meta Morning Joe. I know that's my fault but I'm not sure if I'm really sorry.

MEGAN: It's okay; who doesn't love Morning Joe except for Mika's hair? Free Mika's hair!

ANA MARIE: Her hair does compete with her attempts to be somewhat serious.

MEGAN: Although, thankfully, she has apparently given up the Palin-do today. Small favors.

ANA MARIE: Oh god, Mika is "driving the ship" Mon-Wed. I might have to convene some kind of A Very Special Crappy Hour.

MEGAN: Wait, so, Jane Krakowski is coming on next? Was that a pattern on the top of her shirt, or was that cut outs? Do I need to be on nip slip alert?

ANA MARIE: You, my dear, are ALWAYS on nip slip alert. And thank god someone is.

MEGAN: Okay, during the commercial, we have to discuss Obama tapping Janet Napolitano at DHS. Do we think they'll have to convene an exorcism to expel The Wraith in January?

ANA MARIE: It's a chance for Bobby Jindal to come onto the national stage with some pizazz!

MEGAN: That would be awesome, actually. But on Napolitano: kind of crazy that right now 2 of the 3 hard core security gigs will seemingly go to women.

ANA MARIE: What if they all start getting their periods at the same time!!??!?! NUCLEAR WAR!

MEGAN: Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb bomb Iran!

ANA MARIE: I think at this point we are contractually obligated to mention the CHENEY HAS BEEN INDICTED. Have you read about this? Has it been Drudged?

MEGAN: Yes, apparently, this headline-seeking prosecutor in Texas decided that holding stock in a company whose employees do bad things makes us all liable for the actions of said employees.

ANA MARIE: Here's the weird thing: "Cheney, Gonzales and the others will not be arrested, and do not need to appear in person at the arraignment, Presiding Judge Manuel Banales said."

MEGAN: Because the judge needs an arraignment to throw out the case?

ANA MARIE: I guess that's not actually weird but good, given that it sounds fucking insane. God that must be a fun jury.

MEGAN: Yeah, I mean, I wonder what they were smoking and whether it's only available in Texas.

ANA MARIE: I think the prosecutor is not JUST headline-seeking btw. There is deep crazy at work here:

After Guerra's office was raided as part of the investigation early last year, he camped outside the courthouse in a borrowed camper with a horse, three goats and a rooster. He threatened to dismiss hundreds of cases because he believed local law enforcement had aided the investigation against him.

But, hey, the netroots must be happy! Someone LISTENED!

MEGAN: Well, I believe that local law enforcement had aided the investigation against him, since that's the job of law enforcement. I'm just concerned about the 3 goats and a rooster.

ANA MARIE: The horse? That's fine. It is Texas.

MEGAN: Yeah, I'm not worried about the horse. But this guy sounds like a goat-sacrificer. Plus who has only a rooster?

ANA MARIE: Someone who is frightened of both alarm clocks and eggs.

MEGAN: But eggs are delicious! Wow, I'm getting the significant impression that I probably should have had more than a salad for dinner last night.

ANA MARIE: I should have had dinner! And lunch. And probably breakfast. Been trying to lose my "campaign fifteen" but sort of lazy about it — instead of eating smart, been not eating. Off topic: I LOVE Pat Buchanan on TV. He's always, like, PEERING at the camera. As if suspicious of the technology. Like he knows it wasn't MADE IN AMERICA.

MEGAN: Well, there's no rest for no wicked, and no breakfast for us until we finish this, but after that there will be bacon in my future, mostly because I only have one egg in the fridge. So, Penny Pritzker at Commerce? It's even wilder that of all the Cabinet slots that have leaked, you've got Clinton, Napolitano, Pritzker and Holder. Are the only grey-haired white guys going to actually be in the White House? No offense, Rahm.

ANA MARIE: Well, there's Valerie Jarrett. And Susan Rice will turn up somewhere, no? I would love it if Samantha "She's a monster" Power also showed up. But if they're serious about Clinton I'm guessing not.

MEGAN: Susan Rice appears to be on-track for a sub-cabinet slot. Jarrett's going to the White House. And Sam Powers is apparently still at Harvard, though I would have picked her for an undersecretary gig at State but you're right, if Clinton goes to State, she's not gonna.

ANA MARIE: MSNBC says Sebelius being vetted for Energy Secretary or Labor! CHICKS EVERYWHERE.

MEGAN: Kathleen, run from Labor! Labor's a dead-end gig!

ANA MARIE: Yeah, put Richardson in Energy.

MEGAN: And Chuck Todd is saying that there are few Hispanic names, but he apparently didn't read the WaPo story on HUD Secretaries in which Antonio Villaraigosa and Miami mayor Manuel Diaz came up.

ANA MARIE: Or, you know, Richardson for Interior, since apparently that is the Land of Grabbyhands.

MEGAN: That's how they determine contracts there sometimes! And Richardson at Interior would be interesting, since it has seemingly gone to Western types for quite a while.

ANA MARIE: This is the most interest anyone has shown in posts like HUD in a long time. It's just because they haven't gotten a puppy yet. Once the puppies come in, we'll be able to truly ignore the news.

MEGAN: Well, probably the only reason anyone's interested in HUD right now is that whole mortgage crisis thing, but my money's on Villaraigosa, Telemundo mistress be damned.

ANA MARIE: Oh, you and your logic and pragmatism.

MEGAN: Fine. Yes, I think once there are pictures of the girls romping on the lawn with the puppy, there will be no other news. The Washington Post will eliminate all other print coverage and just print pictures so there is an epidemic of hearts exploding from cuteness. And then we'll get another baby panda if the economy gets worse, just because.

ANA MARIE: Look, that's the only way newspapers can survive, right? The puppy equivalent of all those Memorial Obama Editions. And, fuck, if you give me another panda baby, you can have my house! I will just need an internet connection and the panda cam. And booze. And coffee. I should probably keep the house. In a just world I like to think we get panda babies and homes. Isn't that basically what Obama promised?

MEGAN: Well, and rainbows and unicorns, right? But baby pandas are cuter.

• Though Barack obama told Americans nothing about forthcoming nominations, that doesn't mean there's nothing to speculate about! John Kerry, Chris Dodd and Bill Richardson are lead speculative Secretary of State candidates, Robert Gates might stay at the Defense Department, Janet Napolitano could be headed to Justice and former eBay executive Steve Westly, the Governator or Kathleen Sebelius could end up at DOE. Discuss at your leisure — Obama certainly is. [CNN, Politico]
• The President-Elect has included sexual orientation and gender identity in his non-discrimination pledge on hiring, which is awesome. [ACLU]
• Harry Reid is a little pissed about Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman's Obama-bashing during his balls-out support of John McCain this election season — to say nothing of his current flirtation with Mitch McConnell and the GOP caucus. He is thinking of allowing the Democratic caucus to strip Lieberman of his committee chair, which Lieberman calls "unacceptable" and everyone else calls "no less than he deserves." [CNN, Huffington Post]
• Unlike the obstreperous Lieberman, Appropriations Committee Chairman Robert Byrd is stepping aside as chairman because he's confident of the new Democratic majority and, likely, because of his continuing ill health. Sadly, this means no more "barbaric" speeches. [The Hill, YouTube]

• In what may be the most disturbing charitable donation of all time, some of the clothing items the Palins need to return to the RNC include Todd's silk boxers. And you thought her plane left skid marks when it left Phoenix! [Washington Post]
• To counter that image, Sarah Palin's going to do an interview with Greta Van Susteren. Nope, don't think that image is getting out of my head regardless, sorry. [LA Times]
• Right-wing South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint is pissed that McConnell isn't going to expel Senate Ted "McBribe-y" Stevens from the Senate during the lame duck session. Yes, Virginia, some Republicans do have principles. [Politico]
• The best quote that ever has been said or ever will be said about Rahm Emanuel: "Emanuel, on the other hand, is a drama queen; seething, foaming Mamet production; a big mouth; and a calculating mensch who loves nothing more than to stoke the feed bag for press-corps noshers." Oh, this is going to be an epic White House. [Politico]
• Obama's aunt — who the right-wingers discovered far too late has overstayed her deportation order — has decided to fight in court for the right to remain in the U.S. She's not in great health, reportedly, which would seem like humanitarian grounds to let her stay but our immigration system isn't exactly known for being humanitarian in nature. [MSNBC]
• Neither are Americans, two of whom in New Jersey set a cross ablaze on the lawn of an Obama supporter. Racism: officially no longer confined to The South. Please make a note of it. [Editor & Publisher]
• In slightly better news, there is talk about automatically registering every eligible citizen to vote and expanding early voting so that this ACORN-caging-voter challenges nonsense can finally just end. God, how awesome would that be? [NY Times]