[Dublin, September 23. Image via WENN]

• Russell Brand was shoved into a fountain by an onlooker as he filmed his latest movie in London: "The bloke used a bit of force," says a source, "Brand was completely underwater. I expect he will have some bruises." [TheSun]

• Jennifer Aniston trusts her dog, Norman, to "sniff out" potential boyfriends. "Norman was crazy about Jen's ex-husband Brad Pitt, but he couldn't stand John Mayer – the pooch growled at him and hid whenever John spent the night at her Beverly Hills mansion," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]
• Simon Cowell says he's "going to miss" Paula Abdul during the upcoming season of American Idol. "She's my buddy," Cowell says, ""Paula has been very cool about the whole thing. And let me tell you, Paula is going to be fine." [People]
• Meanwhile, Victoria Beckham, who will be guest judging on Idol this season, says that she plans to be kind to the contestants: "'I want to be nice to people. I know how it feels to be stood there and be judged and how it can feel when nerves get the better of you. I don't want to shatter anybody's dream. But at the same time, there's nothing wrong with a little bit of constructive criticism." In other words, when you're feeling sad and low, she will take you where you want to go. [DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, Jordan Sparks says it was "dumb" of American Idol to lose Paula: ""I love American Idol and I respect them. It's because of them that I got my start, but Paula was one of the original judges. She helped soften the blow for contestants when we didn't do well. I love Paula," Sparks says, "The show will definitely not be the same without her, and I feel bad that future contestants will not get to experience having her on the show. I'm so sad." [E!]
• Hundreds of Beatles fans flocked to Abbey Road this morning to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the groups famous album cover photo. [NYTimes]
• Yikes: apparently Janeane Garofalo's show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival last night was a "train wreck." [Reuters]
• "After the Toronto incident, I didn't even want to look people in the eye at the gym. The shame came from people saying I had it coming — it was karma. Even though you may think someone is a douche, you shouldn't mock a victim of violence because that victimizes them again. I am much more compassionate now."-Perez Hilton [LATimes]
• Kate Moss and Lily Allen have been spotted vacationing together in St. Tropez, where Kate has allegedly urged Lily "to try the 'rock chick' diet - coffee, cigarettes, vodka and champagne, which are relatively low in calories." Ugh. DailyMail]
• "I wouldn't call myself a dark soul, but I'm feisty and I can be very edgy. Being my size and having blonde hair, with a sweet, innocent-looking face is interesting because that's not who I am. I'd never describe myself as innocent or sweet - those are two words I really would not use to describe myself, ever." -Hayden Panettiere [ShowbizSpy]
• Actress Shannon Elizabeth and her Dancing With The Stars partner Derek Hough have called it quits, and announced their breakup over Twitter, with Hough tweeting: "Hi everyone, we wanted you all to know directly from us, that Shannon & I have decided to end our relationship as boyfriend & girlfriend." [People]
• "I think Jon just needs to spend time to himself. I mean, there are many days that I wish that I talked to him in person instead of over the phone. But that's just the way it has to be right now, so if we're better off as friends and that means that people kinda leave him alone and just let him be the dad that he wants to be, then I'm willing to do that for him."- Kate Major, who quit her job at Star to be with Jon Gosselin. [E!]
• 250 tween fans showed up to watch Leighton Meester shop at a store in Great Neck, causing police to "shut down the main stretch of road in town," according to a source. "It was madness. I've never seen anything like that at a store." [PageSix]
• "For a while, I was seriously considering giving up acting. My life lacked balance because I was too focused on a result as opposed to enjoying the process. I just had to get back into enjoying myself. There were times when I didn't work. There were times when I was flat broke, just like anyone else. You go through ups and downs in life. And, right now, I'm on an up. I'm going to enjoy it and have fun and make the most of it."-Amy Adams [DailyExpress]
• Get ready for a few more Gerard Butler comedies: "I like to see myself more as a Spencer Tracy type," the actor says. "As an actor, I think I can tick several different genre boxes. At the moment, I just happen to be finding comedies kind of irresistible." [Mirror]
• "Ten years ago I would never have imagined I would be in a flesh-coloured leotard hanging from the bars of a cage. I was very traditional and very conservative. But people grow and people change. I am in another moment in my life. I feel more like a woman today."- Shakira [ShowbizSpy]

• A source claims that Jude Law, who, as Dodai mentioned yesterday, is currently caught up in another scandal involving a 24-year-old model who is carrying his fourth child, gets into such situations because he's seeking validation about his looks. [DailyMail]

• "It's actually embarrassing how much validation Jude needs about his looks. He is constantly looking in the mirror at his bald patch and always needs to be told he looks okay," says a source, "We all laugh about how he will bed anyone young who flatters him. This particular affair is just another case of some woman saying how handsome he is. He simply can't resist." [DailyMail]
• Samantha Burke, the mother of Law's child, released a statement via her lawyers about her pregnancy yesterday: "Samantha, her mom, and her family can affirm that Jude has been responsive and supportive throughout the relationship and pregnancy, and know that he will remain so as a father once Baby Sophia is born." [People]
• Law is reportedly afraid that Burke will release intimate photographs she took while the couple were together during Law's time filming Sherlock Holmes in New York City: "Samantha was totally smitten with Jude and enjoyed photographing him hugely. It was a passionate fling and there was a real animal attraction," says a source, "He's been ashen with anxiety, especially because he's putting his loved ones through more stress." [DailyMail]
• "They are just really special creatures and highly evolved. To tell you the truth, I'm convinced I was a dolphin in another life and that's why I'm so attracted to them."-Drew Barrymore [ShowbizSpy]
• Jaime Pressly is engaged to lawyer Simran Singh. Pressly split from Eric Calvo, her former fiance and father of her 2-year-old son, Dezi, last November. [People]
• Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt are apparently back together. "They are definitely happy again," says a source. [USWeekly]
• Tim Burton doesn't understand why parents won't let their children see his films: "I don't know why adults keep fighting that," Burton says, "They keep fighting the fairy tales that have been told since the beginning of mankind. They're fighting Pinocchio. They forget what it's like to be kids. Kids like to be scared. Most great children's literature is politically incorrect, so I don't know why they can't get used to it by now." [DailyExpress]
• "People who project negativity ultimately are crying out for their own broken souls. Trying to save a hater is like trying to teach astrophysics to a wino! LOL Chuuuuch!" -Nick Cannon on Twitter, in response to Eminem's "diss track," about Mariah Carey [E!]
• "I went to a lot of therapy. I talked my head off and pounded enough pillows and confronted enough ghosts. I didn't avoid the feelings of what my childhood was. I went right into them and went as deeply as I could." She does seem remarkably free of anger or bitterness, at this point, at least. "I think people saw how hard it was for me. It's what makes me the artist that I am, it's my bag of sorrow, of human tragedy that I've lived through, and I go to this well every single time I create a character. But that no longer dictates my daily life."- Anne Heche on the difficult period she went through following her split from Ellen DeGeneres [NYTimes]
• When faced with paparazzi or swine flu, James Spader chose...swine flu? "I'm a bit phobic... I told him (the doctor), 'You should be shutting down the whole street!' So I go out, I flee the building, I'm standing outside and there are the paparazzi snapping photos and video. I can't go anywhere, there's no car, so I'm faced with that dilemma: the paparazzi or go back in the building with the swine flu. I went back in the building." [DailyExpress]
• "My problem with women is I love them all, really. If I see a woman who is sweet and innocent, I fall in love with her, I want to hug her and take care of her and all that lovely stuff. Then I see this sex-kitten type walking past me and I think, ‘Wow! That's my woman!' I appreciate women for all sorts of reasons and it can get complicated."- Gerard Butler on his "complicated" reasons for loving women. [ShowbizSpy]
• Salma Hayek is allegedly angry that Jennifer Aniston received an Emmy nomination for her stint on 30 Rock while Hayek didn't. "Salma was angry and swearing in Spanish when the news broke," says a source, "It's not that she isn't happy for Jen, but she feels her own work was as good if not better. They just gave Jen a nomination for the press. They should be ashamed!" [ShowbizSpy]
• When Ashton Kutcher was first starting out in Hollywood, he bought a ton of fake designer clothing to convince his family back home that he was doing well: "I was broke, really running out of money. I knew I had to go home for the holidays, but I couldn't expose the fact that it wasn't going well," Kutcher says, "So I bought my whole family these fake watches and fake Versace pants and fake anything I could find, like fake Calvin Klein T-shirts, so I could . . . show them how well I was doing even though I didn't have a place to live." [NYPost]
• Dustin "Screech Powers" Diamond currently owes $21,015.62 in unpaid taxes. Maybe he should start selling Screech's Secret Sauce? [TMZ]
• "Is "asks" even a word? If not, sorry 4 my layziness with grammar."- Jessica Simpson via Twitter. [ONTD]
• Renee Zellweger was spotted buying Yves Saint Laurent knockoffs. [PageSix]
• AskMen.com will be banning all Megan Fox news on August 4. ""You can have too much of a good thing," says editor James Bassil, "We're giving our readers a one-day reprieve from the woman we've been drowning in all summer." [TheSun]
• "Fucking redneck douchebaggery. Unmitigated douchebaggery. Why are they holding signs that say, 'Whatchoo talking about, Willis?' These people are called 'racially sensitive', what they should be called is racist, backward motherfuckers."-Janeane Garofalo on the Teabaggers. [Guardian]

In short: it sucked. A lot. While the failure of the film can't be completely blamed on Lindsay (the script was lacking, as were the jokes), it wasn't her finest hour. Mostly, she just looked really tired.

And when she didn't look tired, she looked like Dina.

ABC Family hyped the movie up in commercials as "a made-for-ABC-family movie," except it so obviously wasn't. The words "bullshit" and "masturbate" were bleeped out, and in the clip above, an entire portion of the birthing class scene was cut, with no explanation, which contributed to the disjointedness of the whole thing. Whatever the content of the footage was, it must've been too racy for the channel.

Although, fart jokes were allowed.

P.S. Did you know that Janeane Garofalo is in it?

[New York, June 27. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

For a bunch of people who are so pissed off over having to dig into their pockets to pay higher taxes, tactics like this don't really make much sense. However, this was reported on Hannity's America, so who really knows just how many hecklers are planning on actually attending her performance.

Angry Teabaggers Paying Garofalo To Protest Her [Daily Kos]

• Last Monday, China implemented an internet ban on YouTube. Although China has the technology to block only certain URLs, the entire site has been blocked from use. • In order to lure in the desirable baby-boomer demographic, The Hallmark Channel is playing up their status as a "soothing, predictable" network. At least they know their strengths. • The Statue of Liberty is set to re-open for the public on July 4th, 2009. Lady Liberty's crown has been closed since 9/11. • This is kind of a downer: America's eight most downsized cities. The "Rust Belt" list includes Youngstown, Ohio at number one and Detroit at number three. • Sled dogs are among the most energy efficient animals on earth, and scientists hope that their "fat-burning prowess" could be used to discover new ways to treat diabetes and obesity. • Delta Air Lines is resurrecting vintage uniforms for flight attendants from now-defunct carriers like Pan American World Airways to promote their pending merger with Northwest Airlines. • Forbes has some advice for those of us who suck with money: 7 steps to fix your retirement. •  Nickelodeon has asked kids to unplug their games and gadgets on April 22nd in honor of Earth Day. • Funny lady Janeane Garofalo is also in on the action, and in this video, she advocates for the "huge turn off" on Earth Day with some serious armpit hair. •  Sociological Images has pictures of the new Angela Merkel Barbie. She looks... classy? •  To celebrate the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, organizer Michael Lane plans to throw together a free, green, outdoor music festival. He is currently looking for sponsors and scouting venues in New York City. •  A unique community of killer whales has failed to recover from the Exxon Valdez oil spill in 1989. Experts say that the pod is slowly dying out, and with it, their distinctive song-dialect. • 

[New York, March 5. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Not surprisingly, Janeane mercilessly mocked Rush and his call for the comelier sex, alleging that the single, syndicated radio host is not on the hunt for fellow (female) ideologues or to discover why women hate him so much but looking simply for sex and companionship. Which, of course, begs the question: If you were a woman trying to get Mr. Limbaugh's loving attention in a "cattle call", how exactly would you audition? Your best guesses, in the comments.

Related: Janeane Garofalo on Rush Limbaugh's Sex Appeal [MediaBistro]
Rush Limbaugh Wants To Know Why Women Hate Him [Feministe]
Limbaugh To Convene A ‘Female Summit' To Figure Out Why Women Hate Him [Think Progress]

• Shh! Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson went on some kind of super secret date in Paris. Don't tell!

As you may recall, Owen and Kate were an item in 2006; she broke up with him in 2007 and he allegedly attempted suicide shortly after. [The Sun]

• Is it possible to resign from the human race? Nadya "Octomom" Suleman was offered $1 million to make a porn flick. [TMZ]
• By the by, Nadya Suleman told Dr. Phil that the hospital may not release her kids unless she can prove she can care for them. [LA Times]
• Warren Beatty wants Lindsay Lohan to star in a film he's working on, and to live in his house. Here's to hoping she plays his daughter and not his love interest. [Fox 411]
• There's a warrant out for the arrest of Adnan Ghalib: He's charged with assault with a deadly weapon, battery, and hit and run. And awful facial hair. [TMZ]
• The LAPD is still "vigorously" investigating how that picture of Rihanna was leaked to TMZ. [E!]
• Chris Brown is reportedly taking anger management classes. [Gatecrasher]
• Alex Rodriguez just found an apartment on Manhattan's Central Park West, two blocks from Madonna's home. Be careful: Jesus is watching! [Page Six]
• This was bound to happen: Slumdog, the musical. Proceeds would help fund Mumbai's destitute kids. [Hindustan Times]
• It's cool that housing officials in Mumbai plan to give the Slumdog kids' families some free apartments, even if it is a publicity stunt, but you've got to imagine that the kids friends and cousins are like so, so jealous, no? [The Sun]
• If you were watching the Oscars in Asia, the words "gay" and "lesbian" were censored. Gay Asians are pissed! [AP]
• Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes is going to be a gay ol' time: Apparently Holmes and Watson share a bed. Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law under the covers! [News Of The World]
• Finding Nemo vet Ellen DeGeneres will do another animated flick, Dog Show. Robert Downey Jr. and Tina Fey are the lead voice actors. The plot? A stray dog and her misfit friends "shake up the purebred world" of a Westminster-like dog show. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Will Iman pop up on Project Runway? [Page Six]
• Jay-Z and Khloe Kardashian had drinks and Jay left a $2000 tip. Klassy! [Page Six]
• Chow Yun Fat had eyelid surgery? He says: "As I grew older, my eyelids began to droop. I began going for cosmetic surgery in Hong Kong when I was filming The God Of Gamblers in 1989. If you go to Hong Kong for cosmetic surgery, I can introduce you to the doctor. He's cheap and good." Uh, thanks? [Straits Times]
• A TV commercial in China has David Beckham "talking" about an anti-impotence drug and saying, "It's the secret weapon with which I can satisfy Victoria." They're using celeb faces without permission. [Daily Mail]
• Eartha Kitt was nowhere to be found in the "In Memoriam" section of the Oscars. A fan contacted her rep, and her rep responded: "It was noticed and I'm handling it the best I can. Please continue to send your thoughts to ABC and SAG." [ONTD]
• Eartha Kitt's publicist tells Page Six: "It's clear that [Oscars producers] thought that publicist Warren Cowan was more of a household name." [Page Six]
• Robert Pattinson had better "watch out," because Taylor Lautner, the Twilight/New Moon werewolf Jacob Black, is a "hunk." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Evan Rachel Wood will play Juliet. In Romeo And Juliet. On the stage in Theatre In The Park in her hometown of Raleigh, North Carolina. Congrats? [Mirror]
• Pictures of Lily Allen dressed as a panda and a baby bird just make you like her more. [The Life Files]
• OMFG: Gossip Girl will return to the CW in the fall! So will One Tree Hill, 90210, Smallville, Supernatural and America's Next Top Model. Fate undecided: Privileged. [Reuters]
• Guests were "encouraged" to wear pink at Paris Hilton's second birthday party of the year. [Page Six]
• Jimmy Fallon on Late Night: "I have a realistic attitude about all this. People are going to see me who are awake at 12:30. College kids and prison guards." [The Daily Beast]
• Apparently Simon Cowell's comment about wanting to be frozen after death was a joke. [AP]
• Tiger Woods is talking about being lucky to get to stay home with his wife and kids while recovering from a knee injury and holy crap his daughter is adorbs. [People]
• In Amy Adams's next film, Sunshine Cleaning, she plays a single mom who cleans up crime scenes to make enough money to send her kid to private school. Oh, and she wears $100 jeans. [USA Today]
• Tommy Hilfiger's new wife is three months pregnant. (Tommy's daughter Ally is about to turn 24.) [Page Six]
• LOL: Keith Richards is telling people to sober up? [Page Six]
• Sandra Bullock stopped by Briarcrest Christian School in Memphis to research her role for The Blind Side, a film about a student who left his impoverished life and went to live with a wealthy couple, going on to become a successful football player. [UPI]
• By the by, Sandy Bullock sleeps with three dogs in her bed. [Page Six]
• The Killers are countersuing a former manager in Nevada federal court; both sides seek millions. [USA Today]
• Craig Bierko maybe dated Meg Ryan, Charlize Theron and Gretchen Mol. He definitely had something going on with Janeane Garofalo; he calls her "he" and she calls him "she." [Village Voice]
• If you want to read Mike Leigh's Oscar diary, it is here. [Guardian]
• The lead singer of the Bare Naked Ladies has resigned in a "mutual agreement." [ONTD]
• Blind item: "Which rock star has extra-special house parties? Guests check their clothes at the door, don a robe and indulge in huge bowls of every drug you can imagine." [Gatecrasher]
• "Like we've always said - someone that's good to our Mom, that's very important. And someone that has a good sense of humor." — Nick Jonas, on what kind of girl he and his brothers want. [Mirror]
• "She is pathetic now. Madonna used to be a symbol of rebellion in the '80s, someone who was against religious orthodoxy. Now we have this Madonna who is always preaching kabbalah, trying to teach people how to live their lives" — Camille Paglia in Brazil's Veja magazine. [Page Six]

• Amy Winehouse must be coming to her senses: she's given control of her £15 million fortune to her parents. She can't spend her own money without their approval, so drugs are probably out. [Mirror]

• Michael Phelps says of smoking that bong: "I engaged in behaviour which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment." And! "I'm 23 years old and, despite the successes I've had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again." [Guardian]
• Madonna, Guy Ritchie, and the kids all went to the same service at the Kabbalah Center in New York yesterday. Madge and Guy arrived and left separately, but things are "amicable." [Daily Mail]
• Madonna was spotted with that hot Brazilian model in New York on Sunday, Jesus Luz. Are Madonna and Jesus gettin' Biblical? [Perez]
• Britney's dad has obtained restraining orders against Adnan Ghalib and Sam Lutfi, who are "now working in concert to disrupt the conservatorship," according to the paperwork. Apparently Britney informs Adnan of where she's going, and he arranges for paparazzi to show up and photograph her for his financial benefit. Sam, meanwhile, tells Brit he's "trying" to "free" her from her conservatorship. [Extra]
• Get ready: Kate Moss wants to be an actress. [Elle UK]
• Wings and cupcakes: Jessica Biel threw Justin Timberlake a Super-Bowl themed surprise party in the penthouse of the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood. [People]
• Tommy Lee's helicopter was pulled over by LAPD. No, really. [TMZ]
• Foxy! Pix of Slumdog Millionaire's Freida Pinto as a young aspiring model. [Daily Mail]
• As for Slumdog's Dev Patel, he says: "If you asked me a year ago would I ever have been doing a movie with [director] Danny Boyle, I would have absolutely laughed in your face." [NPR]
• Aw, 9-year-old Rubina Ali, who also starred in Slumdog Millionaire and lives in a "one-room shack" with her family in a Mumbai slum, wants to be a Bollywood star. "I like films. I like poems and I like my school," she says. [Reuters]
• Jennifer Aniston's house: Still a construction site after 2 years of remodeling.
  Star]
• Ciao, Hollywood: David Beckham will leave the LA Galaxy and join AC Milan permanently, after getting approval from wife Victoria. [Mirror]
• Here's Victoria stepping out with Cruz and Romeo, who are wearing matching shirts. [Daily Mail]
• Is it really the end for Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy? A source says they are still speaking and this may just be a "blip." [Daily Express]
• Although Chelsy was out partying and kept talking about how she wants to go "home" to Zimbabwe. [Daily Mail]
• Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi had a joint birthday party where Samantha Ronson DJ'd and celebs like Jennifer Aniston and Drew Barrymore celebrated. Our invitation must have gotten lost. [ People]
• Chris Martin has been banned from recording with Coldplay for two weeks. [Mirror]
• Even though Warner Bros. didn't push for Gran Torino to win an Oscar, the movie is actually cleaning up at the box office, unlike some other nominated flicks.It's "Clint Eastwood's $110 Million Revenge." [Fox News]
• Billy Bob Thornton claims: "I’d like to do another movie with Angie one of these days. We talk all the time. She and I keep looking for something to do together; we just have to find the right thing." Sure, sure. [Daily Express]
• Even though Courtenay Semel beat up Casey Johnson last month and set her hair on fire, they are back in love and "soul partners." [Page Six]
• Kristen Johnston talks about her role on the new Absolutely Fabulous: She will indeed play Patsy, not Edina, as previously reported. And the show will be "different.": "We don’t smoke, we are hungover all the time, we chew Nicorette, we’re trying to be more PC, but I think it really works. It’s one of those scripts that’s like my favorite kind because on paper you’re like, Oh, this is funny, but when you read it out loud with two actresses, it’s, like, the funniest shit ever." [EW]
• Score: Snoop Dogg coached his Snoop Youth Football league team to victory! [UPI]
• Mary Lynn Rajskub and Janeane Garofalo get the giggles when shooting 24 scenes together. "If we make eye contact, forget it," Garofalo says. [USA Today]
• Check out Zoe Kravitz, all dolled up for a photo shoot with Annie Leibovitz. The pix will appear in an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which heartthrob actor keeps turning up drunk to the set of his TV medical drama?" [Gatecrasher]
• Nick Lachey loves that his girlfriend is a sports fan, blah blah blah. [People]
• Is ABC Family, with shows that contain teenage pregnancy and underage drinking, too edgy to be called a family channel? [UPI]
• The latest ABC family shows are all "female-oriented," including one series called 10 Things I Hate About You, based on the movie. [Reuters]
• Lisa Loeb got married on Saturday! The lucky guy is Roey Hershkovitz, a music supervisor for Late Night with Conan O'Brien. The bride wore pink. [People]
• Kate Middleton's childhood home is up for sale. [Telegraph]
• Because the world could not function without his opinion, Sanjaya Malakar would like for you to know he approves of the 4th judge on American Idol. [UPI]
• John Cleese's ex-girlfriend says when Cleese dumped her via a message on her answering machine for lying about her age, she texted back: "Look, at least it wasn’t a sex tape." [Mirror]
• "To me, it's a party whenever I go to work. The writing is so wonderfully dark, and everybody's lying to everyone else, that it's funny. It was a very relaxed time for me — actually, way more relaxing than comedy. Comedy makes me uptight. Because in comedy, everything is not funny until that one thing that is. " — Ted Danson, best known for doing comedy, now getting attention of his dramatic role on Damages. [Washington Post]
• "Oh God, wasn’t that awful?" — Kristen Johnston, on Bride Wars, in which she had a small part. [EW]
• "I'm not a romantic guy at all. It’s not that I don’t believe in romance. It’s that I don’t believe in dinner for two by the ocean, walking down the beach holding hands – that version of romance. I think I'm probably romantic, but I’m not outwardly romantic. I'm not a player." — Jonathan Rhys Meyers. [People]
• "I loved [Vicky Cristina Barcelona character] Maria Elena, yes. I mean, I hope I'm not too similar to her! And I didn't want to ever think, 'Oh, I'm playing a crazy person.' Because I mean, who's normal? I don't know anybody that is normal." — Penelope Cruz. [CBS News]
• "I asked my agent if I could have my costumes in my contract – but she laughed in my face! I guess that doesn't really happen." — Isla Fisher, on Confessions Of A Shopaholic. [The Sun]
• "It was pretty tough turning 18. I realised that overnight I’d become fair game. I had a party in town and the pavements were just knee-deep with photographers trying to get a shot of me looking drunk, which wasn’t going to happen. I don’t have to drink to have a good time. The sickest part was when one photographer lay down on the floor to get a shot up my skirt. The night it was legal for them to do it, they did it. I woke up the next day and felt completely violated by it all. That’s not something I want in my life. I just kept thinking that if it had happened a day earlier people would have sued their asses off… I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing… I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable." — Emma Watson. [Daily Mail]

[Los Angeles, November 9. Image via Flynet]

• Michael Phelps isn't really looking for a girlfriend. "I am 23 now and if I went out with a girl she wouldn’t see much of me until I get past 30," he explains. That's just silly! Ladies see plenty of you. When you're wearing a swimsuit. [Daily Express]
• David and Victoria Beckham's "car crash" was actually just a car that got all scratched and jacked up when it was left parked at the airport. Posh's rep says: "There was no car crash." [Perez Hilton]
• Barack Obama has asked Jennifer Hudson to sing the national anthem on Thursday at the Democratic National Convention before his address. She is "thrilled" and "excited." [People]
• Was "vote or die" Diddy asked not to come to the DNC? [MSNBC]
• Oh, dear: Justin "I'm A Mac" Long seen kissing Kirsten Dunst. [Rush & Molloy]
• More barftastic car crash terrible can't-look-away Heidi Montag video pix. Sorry. [ONTD]

• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps of The Real Housewives of NYC got drunk at a wedding, knocked over a drumset, tried to make out with married men and grabbed crotches… or did she? Truth or smear campaign? [Page Six]
• Victoria's Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio is shopping pix of her newborn, Anja Louise, born Sunday in Brazil. Proceeds go to the Multiple Sclerosis Children's Fund. Any takers? [Page Six]
• Janeane Garofalo played Lauren Conrad in a staged reading of The Hills? Genius. [L.A. Times]
• Britney Spears' SUV took a wrong turn and ended up in L.A.'s Sunset Junction street fair, aka Hipster Central. She got out of there real quick. [E!]
• Courteney Cox was involved in a car crash while on vacation in Hawaii. She was driving a white BMW which collided with a red truck on Saturday. No one was injured. [Daily Mail]
• How does Paula Abdul feel about the new American Idol judge? "I am concerned about the audience and acceptance," she says. "Time will tell. We’ll see. [It's] going to be weird if it’s a split decision. I’m sure Simon will get to make the final [judgment]. [But that] takes the fun out of all the hard work I do to push those kids through." [MSNBC]
• Um, Rhys Ifans is in a band? Called The Peth? And their first single is called "Let's Go Fucking Mental"? And the video is of Rhys' colonoscopy? You can see it here. [Perez Hilton]
• Whee! Cloris Leachman and Susan Lucci to be on Dancing With The Stars! (Also: Kim Kardashian, Lance Bass, Toni Braxton, Misty May-Treanor and track star Maurice Green.) [Reuters]
• Madonna had to stop going to her gym because of "noise, leering, crude comments and wolf whistles of builders working nearby." Effing hell. [Mirror]
• Pam Anderson revelations: When asked "boobs or legs?" she says she is "more of a leg person" (?!?!?!) and when questioned about bikini waxing says, "I have not waxed anything in my entire life. An eyebrow, not an anything. I have never ever done that. It sounds too painful." [News.com.au]
• Spike Lee is upset with the people who think Barack Obama is not black enough. "I go by the 'one-drop rule.' One drop [of black blood], and you're black. The truth is, every African-American is biracial. Go back far enough, and you'll find the massah was in the slave quarters. You can't be black and go to Harvard Law School? You can't be black and be articulate?" [Rush & Molloy]
• Heath Ledger's uncle has failed to have his charges of receiving stolen goods dealt with and faces up to 14 years in jail. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• In a quest for relevance, Jessica Simpson has joined the Country Music Association. She gets special-rate health insurance and can vote in upcoming CMA Award nominations. Anyway, her album, Do You Know, comes out September 9 and Dolly Parton duets on the title track; after that you can go back to not caring about Jess. [Yahoo News]
• Kate Hudson is being sued by some scientists who claim she took their hair-care secret ingredient and gave it to a competitor. Something about volcanic ashes and flyaways. [The Root]
• Shannen Doherty is having fun shooting the new 90210: "It's been a really nice experience…We already have our little inside jokes." And! Lori Loughlin and Rob Estes play parents who are not like your usual sitcom couple. Estes says: "It's not a mom and dad who are home eating bon bons. It's a couple who's fucking! We'll clear the kitchen so fast, you don't know what to do with yourself." [Perez Hilton]
• OMG remember the 90210 action figures dolls? [Black Book]
• Yesterday reports claimed that Snoop Dogg was getting a visa to tour in Australia despite his criminal record; today officials are "rethinking" giving him permission to enter the country. He could be counseled before arrival and given strict behavior rules to abide by while down under. [Reuters]
• Harry Potter studio Warner Bros is suing Bollywood producers over a flick called Hari Puttar. [Telegraph]
• Actress Sophie Monk was seen walking out of a KFC in Hollywood with bags filled with food — she's bragged in the past about being a vegetarian and criticized KFC eaters, saying: "I think the message to KFC eaters (is that) you should think about what you're eating. If you're eating deformed animals that are being induced by hormones, you know, it can not be good for you." [News.com.au]
• Salman Rushdie's former bodyguard is apologizing over allegations he made regarding Rushdie's former marriage. [Independent]
• Trisha Yearwood survived a plane emergency: Her aircraft's window cracked at 30,000 feet. They never lost cabin pressure, fortunately. [People]
• "I think The Osbournes, to a degree, tarnished the public's perception of my dad as a bit of a senile, funny, bumbling guy. Yeah, my dad can be that guy, but it's not him. I think that almost discredited him as an artist. My dad's not an idiot — he's nothing short of a genius, in my opinion." — Jack Osbourne, who is producing a documentary on Ozzy. [Rolling Stone]
• RIP Aaliyah, who died this day in 2001. [The.Life Files]

Honestly, I think the most revolutionary thing we could do to halt the onward march of lookism is to stop giving assholes like this the time of day. In some ways, getting upset about it is just proving his point: if being called "ugly" is the biggest, most denigrating insult around, then we're just reinforcing the idea that being pretty is the most important thing. I bet none of you had ever heard of Mount Isa before he started blathering on about ugly women, and ultimately Molony is just the mayor of a bumblefuck town desperate for attention. I'm going to save my righteous indignation for bigger fish than this guy.

Aussie Outback Mayor Seeks "Ugly Duckling" Women [Reuters]
Australian Plea For 'Ugly' Women [BBC]