Jezebel: jane winebox

Sip Or Strip: The Election Night Drinking Game

Tracie — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 18:00:00 EST

Tonight is a night to celebrate. This has been an extremely long road to the election, and it's not everyday that history is made. (Obama has this one in the bag, right?) If you're gonna park it in front of the TV tonight to watch the results and to hear pundits talk their heads off, then you'll probably want a stiff drink to make the fairly foreseeable results a little funner. So we've come up with a game to which you can sip (or strip, if you're on the wagon), to make the night a little less predictable.

Sip or Strip:

If Joe the Plumber makes an appearance
Every time the term "Troopergate" is mentioned
Anytime Tina Fey is discussed, or if footage of her as Palin is shown
If someone from Ohio is interviewed
Every time the word "maverick" is uttered
Every time the term "battleground state" is uttered
When a "battleground state" has been decided
If you see footage of Palin walking around in those black boots
Whenever The View or any of its panel members are discussed
Whenever CNN's John King starts playing on his board

Sip twice/Remove two articles of clothing:

If a swing state goes blue
If you correctly call a state

Finish your drink/Remove all clothing:

If this thing gets called by 8 PM

Soy Bomb

Jessica — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 10:40:00 EDT

Didja hear? Scientists in Singapore have discovered a way to reduce flatulence-causing sugars in soy! So all you farty vegetarians out there, you may fart no more. You know who else maybe interested in this impressive new development? Our favorite macrobiotic proletarian and Goop purveyor Gwyneth Paltrow! It's serendipity that we would hear about this amazing fart reducing breakthrough on the same day that we received Goop's latest newsletter, one filled with soy-containing recipes. But guys, maybe Gwyneth really is trying to relate to the average Jane Winebox this time. She says that with the way these recipes are constructed, you'll get "more bang for your buck!" Is that assertion true? We calculated the cost of ingredients to find out. Click on Gwynnie's face for the results.

2 tuna steaks, about half a pound each: $8.99
peanut oil: $5.49
finely minced ginger: $2.99
8 slices ciabatta: $3.99
extra virgin olive oil: $6.79
black pepper $1.49
arugula: $1.49
Veganaise: $3.99
soy sauce: $2.19
roasted sesame oil: $5.99

Total: $43.40, serves four, so $10.85 per person.

To Gwyneth's credit, this is the cost if one were starting from scratch and had none of these ingredients on hand. However, did she have to use arugula, that evil salad fixing of the elite?

[Reuters]

Earlier: Gwyneth Paltrow's New Website: Let Them Eat Macrobiotic Rice

This Week We Paid Our Respects To An American (Doll) Icon

Jessica — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 18:00:00 EDT

R.I.P. American Girls original, Samantha Parkington. May you rest in peace with the other overpriced, historically accurate plastic toys in the sky.
Another American icon on the decline: Hugh Hefner's bunnies and balls are musty.
Speaking of old balls, John McCain mocked women's health in an apocryphal argument against late term abortion.
I can't believe we have two more weeks of this. At least the debates are over.
Well, at least one contest of note is over this week: a Project Runway winner was declared, and her name rhymes with pee pan.
It might burn when you pee if Cosmo gives you a "pear-fection."

It would also probably burn when you peed if you had sex with a Don Draper type. Manwhores!
You should apologize to your body for any pear-fections incurred by Don Draper-esque encounters.
Seriously guys. It's Friday. So macramaé yourself a jumpsuit and throw down with Jane Winebox. You deserve it!