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New York, 3:43 AM
Tue Dec 1
67 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
    11/18/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    People who aren't feminists or choose not to call themselves feminists on this blog usually have a decent argument, even if I don't agree with it. On some of the other sites I frequent (really, anything other than feminist ones)? It's the F-word. Women are constantly 'psycho ex-girlfriends,' 'golddiggers' or 'hysterical.' At the same time, feminism is a throwback that's no longer needed in these enlightened times. Everyone is assumed to be male unless their user name is Vagina(IHaveOne)87, and when they're discovered to be female 'You write like a guy' is the highest praise. Oh, and god forbid rape ever come up – apparently it is everyone's duty to point out as early as possible that women lie about it all the time. No discussion needed, just in case it's all lies. Let's wait for the rape kit to come back (if she can afford it and if they process it within 10 years) and for the trial (if it goes forward). No matter if no one personally knows the people involved or if everything else under the sun is discussed, often unquestioned.

    Maybe I should get off comic book and movie sites.
     Reply
    Edited by Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! at 11/18/09 10:43 AM Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! was starred Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! was unstarred
    Image of Nuckin Futz for you Nuckin Futz for you
    11/18/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    Of course women's sites are needed. I used to hop around the internet pretty bored and listless. Then I started dating a guy who is a feminist and he directed me to this site. I was instantly obsessed, I read EVERY article and comment for at least a month. I was hypnotized by the notion of a site that has male commentators but has majority of female. Even when I didn't agree with people it was an eye-opener to read so many opinions and personal experiences. I admit I don't always agree with some articles but I LOVE having a base point to start a discussion with other people and already have had my mind opened to other sides of the story.

    I think all the sites have their place. I go occasionally to Gawker, and Kotaku and I09 are right behind Jezebel on lists of places to kill some time, but Jezebel has something special in the setup. Yes there should definitely be a wide variety of unisex sites but there is nothing wrong with a little personalization and someone has to write them.
     Reply
    Nuckin Futz for you was starred Nuckin Futz for you was unstarred
    Image of scarlet_shoegal scarlet_shoegal
    11/18/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    I absolutely think it's important to have dedicated sites for women and for specific topics or ideals; I think it encourages thought and expression in a 'safe' way, without the feeling of having to sensor yourself.
    I would never have openly called myself a feminist before coming to Jezebel - mainly because my (female) friends take offence at the word, (one actively disapproves of it.) However, I was most definitely a feminist in thought and action and it was another friend who recommend I look at the site as she felt it would be, 'right up my street'. She was absolutely correct and I have to say, (hopefully without sounding cheesy) that it encouraged me to be myself and be comfortable asserting that, yeah, actually I am a feminist and I'm quite proud of that. I can't count the number of times I've now said, 'there was this article on Jezebel recently'... I love that the topics are diverse and international and that I get to hear about and become familiar with things that might never have passed over my radar before.
    A dedicated site is not about exclusion - it's about a forum for education and a different perspective - long may it continue!
     Reply
    Irin promoted this comment scarlet_shoegal was starred scarlet_shoegal was unstarred
    Image of That_little_attention_whore That_little_attention_whore
    11/18/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    I came to Jezebel nearly two years ago (!!!) from, of all places....Fark. I had been frequenting Fark for about four years before I was drawn over to the ligtht side of the force - I think it was that "Photo Shop of Horrors" about the infamous Faith Hill Redbook cover. I have been coming back ever since.

    I mean, when I want really mean-but-funny snark, angry debate for the sake of debate, over-the-top silliness I still like to go to Fark (hell, I have a Fark thread open in another tab). (Gawker just doesn't rate IMO)

    But, when I want actual intelligent conversation with people I can actually relate to, and when I get to experience actual snippits of other people's lives, and feel like I am part of a community, Jez is it. Fark does have an element of community, but it's not a place where you can discuss your experiences with, say, sexual assault.

    Ok you can, but the next posted response will probably a hotlinked image of the 40 pound box of rape.

    Not so say Jezzies can't be irreverent or bring the funny - obviously they can, and they do - or that Farkers can't have intelligent conversations - I've learned a lot from Fark discussion threads.

    But, in general, like many of the other readers, I consider Jez a place of sanctuary from the rest of the way women are treated - and the way women present themselves - on the internet. (although I think some of it rears its head in the "OMG I am 6' and weigh 120 lbs and am a DD cup and it is IMPOSSIBLE to find clothes!" type discussions) My only real beef is with the system for commenting - but that's neither here nor there, and no one cares what I think about that anyway.
     Reply
    That_little_attention_whore was starred That_little_attention_whore was unstarred
    Image of Lelielle Lelielle
    11/18/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    I never went to college or university but I am well versed in woman's/gender studies, racism, LGBTQ rights and other areas of intersectionality, and you know why? because I hate injustice and I actively looked for ways to stop it. I have to say the Firefox/IE add on "stumbleupon" put me firmly on the road of progressiveness so I would definitely recommend it for finding the info you might be looking for. I love this site for it's even handed coverage of issues and the hilarious commenters. #womensblogs
     Reply
    Snowbunny promoted this comment Lelielle was starred Lelielle was unstarred
    Image of Ariadne27 Ariadne27
    11/17/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    Jezebel has very much affected my views, in a way that a non-women's site couldn't have. The wonderful articles and the "safe" commenting space has exposed me to so many debates and viewpoints that I never would have heard otherwise.

    I shuttered at the word feminism until I read this site, even though, I was very feminist without knowing it. Now I proudly say I am a feminist.

    Also, I credit Jezebel for changing my views in terms of fat discrimination. I don't think I ever personally discriminated, but I grew up with my mother saying snide things about fat people every now and then, and so it never really hit me how wrong it was when other people did it because I was used to it (one of the last acceptable prejudices indeed!). Thanks to Jezebel, I've become completely aware that this is a form of discrimination and am constantly sending my mother articles and trying to enlighten her (making some headway!), and anyone else I hear make such discriminatory comments.

    This site is definitely a good thing. I do think it would be great if Gawker posted a few more Jez articles here and there, to get people not inclined to reading a woman's (and even though it's not tagged as such, feminist) blog to read issues, and maybe more people can be enlightened to our feminist causes.

    Finally, on the topic of Double XX, I think finding Slate's links to DoubleXX are what led me to Jezebel! Unless I'm wrong, when Double XX debued, they had a piece criticizing one of the Jez blogger's rape posts (something about being date raped in a foreign country and why she didn't report it), which I read and was like "how could she not report it!" and then I clicked on the link to the Jez article plus the Jez rebuttal and immediately realized that I was on the Jez side of things and did not agree with DoubleXX's writer... and I've been a happy Jezebel reader ever since :) #womensblogs
     Reply
    wtfox?! promoted this comment Ariadne27 was starred Ariadne27 was unstarred
    Image of miss.terious miss.terious
    11/18/09

    @Ariadne27: I totally agree with you re: fat discrimination! I never realized it was such a big deal. Reading stories on Jezebel has really made me more aware of it and much more sensitive. The crazy thing is that it's such a tough one to beat! If you say something to people, they come back with, "Oh, I'm not being mean, it's just unhealthy."

    Oh, and great screen name, btw. I'm assuming you've read Mary Renault's books? Totes amazing. #womensblogs
     Reply
    Tart of Darkness promoted this comment miss.terious was starred miss.terious was unstarred
    Image of Tart of Darkness Tart of Darkness
    11/18/09

    @miss.terious: And yet I am almost always flummoxed by Jez's treatment of fat, body image and discrimination issues. I have felt that sometimes there's a lot of clarity but much of the time the anti body snarking rules are unevenly supplied. Body snarking about moddles and other young women is not okay, but there seems to be more of an exceptence of body snarking about older women. For example I remember one particular Snap Judgement that an editor used to make a "funny" comment of an elderly overweight Polish woman.

    The "it's unhealthy to be fat" is often a way of saying that the overweight must be lazy because they wouldn't be fat if they ate right and exercised more.

    But for some of us with disabilities traditional diet or healthy lifestyle changes don't give us the results we want. We aren't lazy or incapable of taking care of ourselves we just have limitations.

    This is partly why I started a Facebook blog about my impending (maybe) bariatric surgery. I wanted a safer place than Jez to discuss it.

    Because discussing fat and body image here is not all that safe feeling. #womensblogs
     Reply
    Tart of Darkness was starred Tart of Darkness was unstarred
    Image of Ariadne27 Ariadne27
    11/18/09

    @miss.terious: No, I haven't but apparently I should... any recommendations on which of her books to start with, because I'm intrigued! My family is from Crete, and Ariadne was the daughter of the King of Minos and was the one who helped Theseus overcome the Minotaur.
     Reply
    Ariadne27 was starred Ariadne27 was unstarred
    Image of miss.terious miss.terious
    11/18/09

    @Ariadne27: i went to crete on my honeymoon :-). it was amazing. i think ariadne was pretty awesome... i'd start with "The King Must Die" -- her treatment of Ariadne towards the end of the book is super interesting.

    #tips
     Reply
    miss.terious was starred miss.terious was unstarred
    Image of miss.terious miss.terious
    11/18/09

    @Tart of Darkness: That's true. I feel like on Jezebel there's a pretty "standard" set of viewpoints and trying to comment to temper those will sometimes get you into unpleasant discussions. I find a lot of the Snap Judgements to actually not be in great taste. They're a little too "look at the natives, aren't they quaint?" for my palate.

    Here's the other thing that bugs me about people who make "well meaning" comments about those who are overweight - there's such a sense of superiority about it - like "I'm such a responsible person because I eat well and exercise, you should try to be like me." Many, many people have health problems, and (putting aside the issue of whether or not being overweight is *even* a health problem) none of them get so much as a frown for their problems, much less being blamed for causing them through negligence and laziness.

    I'm studying Eastern medicine right now, so it has given me a very different, very holistic perspective on health care, and almost every article on why people are overweight really irritates me.

    I'd love to read your blog. Where can I find it?


    #tips
     Reply
    miss.terious was starred miss.terious was unstarred
    Image of Ariadne27 Ariadne27
    11/18/09

    @miss.terious: Thanks!!!!
     Reply
    Ariadne27 was starred Ariadne27 was unstarred
    Image of Cimorene Cimorene
    11/17/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    The thing I like best about Jezebel is the variety of commenters. I love that there are high school students that comment here. When they say things like "I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I'm beginning to realize xxx" with xxx being something about normative life that's totally fucked up for women*. Not only do I go "Ah I totally remember when I realized that!" but it reminds me that not everyone is at the depth of feminism I am. Which may sound arrogant, but I do not mean it in a judgy way. I mean that not everyone has spent hours and hours hating on the patriarchy, not everyone had the luxury of going to a women's college and seeing the difference a lack of men has on women's lives, not everyone reads Dworkin for fun (some haven't even heard of her).
    As for echo chambers, I also tend to think of this as the most conservative site I read. I read more radically feminist sites (some of which are run by commenters here) than Jezebel, and so when I'm here part of me thinks of it as crossing the line into less fringe and more mainstream territory. I guess the fact that I consider this place as mainstream as I ever want to be says something about my own politics. But being around people who do not share my somewhat extreme views has helped me articulate my own beliefs. Has anyone here ever drastically changed my opinion of something I hold dear? No. But the nuances have made a difference. I also think that the writers employed by the site have a variety of views. I can usually tell who's writing what because they do actually have a spectrum of political views. I just don't consider "Obama's an African Terrorist" to be a view worth my time. So when you cut out the crazy part of the conversation, which is usually the explicitly racist sexist homophobic conservative side, the space for reasonable people to have different opinions becomes smaller, and I think the writers here cover lots of space within that "Reasonable" span.

    Also sometimes there are threads that make me feel insane. Whenever there's a really long thread about rape, or heterosexual relationships and marriage, and people start telling their stories, it can get so intense. It's often painful and sad (because such is sexual assault) but also weirdly raw and beautiful, because it seems like for the first time in history women can come together from all over the world and share these things, and consciousness raise, and support each other. And so often the responses are touching and wonderful and kind, and several threads have reminded me how much work we have to do. But it's also like--these are the threads that are doing it. The conversations here are women communicating with each other, something that has been discouraged by the western dominant paradigm since the fucking 16th century. I love the TMI posts, because I think they are radically fucking feminist. #womensblogs
     Reply
    Cimorene was starred Cimorene was unstarred
    Image of vdh2102 vdh2102
    11/17/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    i am a student at a women's college-- barnard-- and I have to say that coming to a women's college was one of the best decisions I have ever made concerning my education. I think there is definitely still a place for organizations which serve only women, even as we try to move society towards a place where gender matters less. The fact is that gender roles DO exist and DO affect our lives and shape who we are and the way behave, as much as we may hate it, and that is why places like Barnard are so important. Being in an environment like this which is specifically for women eases some of the pressures women may face in the real world-- it is a space where we can be free to let go of those expectations and learn-- not only about history and languages, but learn how to be ourselves, unencumbered by the weighty pressures society places on us to be meek and soft and deferent to men.
     Reply
    wtfox?! promoted this comment Hana Maru approved this comment vdh2102 was starred vdh2102 was unstarred
    Image of ImDatNinja (loves her Red Sox) ImDatNinja (loves her Red Sox)
    11/17/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    Hello Blogher.com is incredibly powerful. #womensblogs
     Reply
    ImDatNinja (loves her Red Sox) was starred ImDatNinja (loves her Red Sox) was unstarred
    Image of Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred) Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred)
    11/17/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    I'm at one of the three remaining all-women colleges at Cambridge - I didn't choose this college originally (I was pooled here after my interview), but I've found it so welcoming, liberal and friendly. As one girl wrote in a student newspaper recently - 700 years of this university's history have been written exclusively by men. If all women's colleges go even some way to evening out the balance, then that can only be a good thing.

    The same applies to women's blogs, in my opinion. #womensblogs
     Reply
    Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred) was starred Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred) was unstarred
    Image of sybann sybann
    11/17/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    It's not like we keep the stinky boys out on purpose. The boys we do have are special. #womensblogs
     Reply
    sybann was starred sybann was unstarred
    Image of iheartapocalypse iheartapocalypse
    11/17/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    It was a comment on this blog that brought an endocrine disorder that I HAVE to my attention. A safe place to talk about our periods and how fat we are changed my life. For real.
     Reply
    hortense promoted this comment Edited by iheartapocalypse at 11/17/09 4:48 PM iheartapocalypse was starred iheartapocalypse was unstarred
    Image of questionable questionable
    11/17/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    Just because something is a feminist blog doesn't make it a "blog for women." It makes it a blog to read about feminism. #womensblogs
     Reply
    questionable was starred questionable was unstarred
    Image of Pandorasvoicebox Pandorasvoicebox
    11/17/09

    @questionable: Exactly. I would expect that most men just choose not to read it. Nowhere on this site does it say it's a women's blog. It's a blog about women's issues, and shouldn't that interest everyone? Not our problem if it doesn't. #womensblogs
     Reply
    CherriSpryte promoted this comment Pandorasvoicebox was starred Pandorasvoicebox was unstarred
    Image of CherriSpryte CherriSpryte
    11/17/09

    @Pandorasvoicebox: the "slogan/tagline/whatever" of Jezebel is "Celebrity, Sex, Fashion, for Women." Its right up there next to the title.

    I've thought for a long time that those three topics barely skim the surface of what Jezebel covers, but "For Women" is definitely in there. #womensblogs
     Reply
    CherriSpryte was starred CherriSpryte was unstarred
    Image of Pandorasvoicebox Pandorasvoicebox
    11/17/09

    @CherriSpryte: I eat my words...hmm...any reason why Jezebel sells itself as a women's website, then? It seems like a bad idea since the content is universally appealing. #womensblogs
     Reply
    Pandorasvoicebox was starred Pandorasvoicebox was unstarred
    Image of jaydock jaydock
    11/17/09

    @CherriSpryte: Yeah, I kind of wish they'd get rid of that tagline. It really undermines the actual depth this site goes into. I don't read it for fashion, I rarely read it for sex or celebrity. I read it for a feminist stance on everything political and cultural. It's a great site and I think they sell themselves short when they say it's all about "Celebrity, sex, and fashion". #womensblogs
     Reply
    jaydock was starred jaydock was unstarred
    Image of questionable questionable
    11/17/09

    @jaydock: Agreed. It's almost as if ::gasp:: jezebel is afraid of being marketed as feminist blog. Which, let's face it, it is. (And that's why I love it.) #womensblogs
     Reply
    wtfox?! promoted this comment questionable was starred questionable was unstarred
    Image of wtfox?! wtfox?!
    11/17/09

    @Pandorasvoicebox: I'm wondering if that isn't a Gawker Media thing, because I've seen this (the disparity between "celebrity, sex, fashion for women" and Jez's actual content) brought up repeatedly, but nothing's actually been done. It's probably a call made by whoever's in charge, but not the Jezeditors themselves. #womensblogs
     Reply
    wtfox?! was starred wtfox?! was unstarred
    Image of Agumen Agumen
    11/17/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    I do think the echo-feedback idea as well as not interfacing with those you disagree with are very valid points.

    For example, I love reading this site, but the times I get disappointed are when I express a more conservative opinion (I'm very slightly left of centre but hold views all over the spectrum) and just get shouted down. It rarely starts an earnest discussion. I often feel like people don't listen to an opinion that differs from theirs in their rush to condemn it, and it often feels like they hardly read the comment at all, as if assuming that a contrasting opinion must be evidence of a troll or a moron. On a site where the intelligence of most commenters is so blantantly high, that's disappointing. If we can't have reasonable disagreements here, where can we?

    The second thing would be that many commenters expect us all to have knowledge of feminist theory or experiences etc. I'm a maths and computers person, I hardly know any history at all, let alone feminist history. I actually read this site to broaden my mind on these kinds of issues (well, that and the pictures). So when you get a reply that says, 'Don't you know anything about what X wrote about Y', my response is usually, 'No, and most of the population wouldn't either.' My point is that that person could enlighten rather than just point out my lack of knowledge. We can't all have done liberal arts degrees, you know. Much of the population struggles finishing high school.

    Despite the complaints (only made as this article is Jezebel doing some self-examining) I find this place to be compulsive reading, and most commenters are warm, friendly, witty and intelligent (I'd say all, but one at least springs to mind) . I don't think a women's blog has to even bother defending its existance. Keep up the good work. #womensblogs
     Reply
    wtfox?! promoted this comment Agumen was starred Agumen was unstarred
    Image of Snowbunny Snowbunny
    11/18/09

    @Agumen: I understand and feel for you about sometimes getting jumped on for unpopular comments, I think it's happened to all of the regular readers at least once (God, has it happened to me, I still shudder sometimes) but compared to the rest of the internet it is so much better. Plus in ever pile on I've read there is at least one person who will defend the attackee (if it's an unfair attack, of course) and try to talk common sense into attackers. Amazingly, that usually works quite well because even the deafest of our community have hearing in one ear. That's just the way Jezebel works. Or you get blocked by our wonderful hortense and all is well. #womensblogs
     Reply
    Snowbunny was starred Snowbunny was unstarred
    Image of whynotshesaid whynotshesaid
    11/17/09

    In reply to Do We Need Websites For Women?
    It's a little sad that Double X is closing, but only because it so spectacularly failed to live up to its promise, and then it fell apart so quickly. I read some interesting stuff over there but it was outweighed 10-t0-1 by douchebaggery.

    I like Jezebel for a lot of reasons but one of my favorite is the commenting policy. I love love love that bigoted bullshit is not tolerated, that I will never see someone rant about how Obama is a socialist commie Muslin terrorist and all of the other awful shit you see on 95% of the blogs and news sites out there. Every good online community I've ever been a part of (particularly this, Hissyfit and Fametracker) has had a very tough commenting policy, and it makes for a good place to hang. Lots of people don't like that kind of thing, but they tend to be the kind of people who announce that they are "First!!!!!!!!1eleventy" and there are a million places for them to go where that kind of shit is encouraged. #womensblogs
     Reply
    whynotshesaid was starred whynotshesaid was unstarred
    Image of NotMandatory NotMandatory
    11/17/09

    @whynotshesaid: I agree totally. I used to read a lot of different women-focused blogs, but I'm sticking around Jezebel a lot more often these days. Mostly that's just because I'm sick of crap comments. Racist, sexist, crazy right-wing, or just trying to make other people look stupid - it gets old fast. Jezzies are (mostly) so nice to each other that it's just a lot more pleasant to hang out here. #womensblogs
     Reply
    whynotshesaid promoted this comment NotMandatory was starred NotMandatory was unstarred
    Image of winner winner
    11/17/09

    @whynotshesaid: Anyone who calls Obama a Muslin terrorist has had wool pulled over their eyes.

    I couldn't stop myself! #womensblogs
     Reply
    whynotshesaid promoted this comment winner was starred winner was unstarred
    Image of whynotshesaid whynotshesaid
    11/17/09

    @winner: Man, I wish I was any good with puns because I would so run with you on this.

    *sigh* #womensblogs
     Reply
    whynotshesaid was starred whynotshesaid was unstarred
    Image of lurkerbynature lurkerbynature
    11/17/09

    @winner: Some people just can't stick to the flax. #womensblogs
     Reply
    lurkerbynature was starred lurkerbynature was unstarred
    Image of winner winner
    11/17/09

    @lurkerbynature: They are just the worsted! Jute think we'd be over all the Muslin terrorist birther crap by now. Twill it ever end?

    Ok done! That felt good. #womensblogs
     Reply
    winner was starred winner was unstarred
    Image of lurkerbynature lurkerbynature
    11/17/09

    @winner: They keep knit-picking about his birth certificate, but I'm a-frayed their arguments completely unravel if you even look at them closely. #womensblogs
     Reply
    wtfox?! promoted this comment lurkerbynature was starred lurkerbynature was unstarred
    Image of winner winner
    11/17/09

    @lurkerbynature: Hearted! #womensblogs
     Reply
    winner was starred winner was unstarred
    Image of Glaven Glaven
    11/17/09

    @whynotshesaid: OMG! Hissyfit and Fametracker!
    I kept this page for ages:

    [web.archive.org]

    I need to put it up again (Geocities shut down recently). #womensblogs
     Reply
    whynotshesaid promoted this comment Glaven was starred Glaven was unstarred
    Image of whynotshesaid whynotshesaid
    11/18/09

    @Glaven: OMG! OMG! I am flashing back SO HARD. Some of those names, I even remember some of those posts and the topics they came from!

    You are officially my Jezebel bestie for sharing this with me. I would leg hug you if I could.
     Reply
    whynotshesaid was starred whynotshesaid was unstarred
    Image of whynotshesaid whynotshesaid
    11/18/09

    @NotMandatory: It is! It's like hanging out with a bunch of really cool friends who are smart and funny and righteous and only slightly asshole-y, but only toward people who deserve it.
     Reply
    whynotshesaid was starred whynotshesaid was unstarred
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