• Michelle Trachtenberg is designing a line of jewelry for Coach's Poppy brand. Expect "colorful crystals." [WWD]
• Zac Posen is doing a lower-priced line, Z Spoke, which will be available exclusively through Saks Fifth Avenue come spring. It starts at $78:

• And it's a marked departure from his evening wear-heavy main line. "It's not Zac-for-less, it's not the little sister collection at all," says the designer. "The dresses — that's something I can do with my eyes closed. This is about a new identity." Hopefully that new identity includes solvency, given Posen, subject to continued rumors about his company's financial status, was forced to lay off staff recently. [WWD]
• Why is Cintra Wilson reviewing the Fifth Avenue Armani store now? That opened months ago. And it was extensively covered and reviewed in the Times back then. [NYTimes]
• Sophie Theallet's friend and longtime supporter Rupert Everett is happy she won the Vogue/CFDA Fashion Fund Award. Theallet is going to collaborate again with Manolo Blahnik on her runway show footwear for next February, and this time, some styles will be available in stores. [WWD]
• Some "legendary" male models we've never heard of (OK, male models we have heard of comprise exactly Tyson Beckford and that guy who was in Calvin Klein ads before he played Samantha's boyfriend on Sex And The City) are in this month's VMAN. [Independent]
• Claudia Schiffer has been thinking more about that clothing line she mooted a week or so back. "I have no definite first product in mind, but I would love to do cashmere. It's something I wear all the time myself, but I'd love to do something a bit more price-friendly. Plus a lot of cashmere lines are very classic and timeless, while I'd want to do it a bit more fashion. Or I could imagine doing handbags." You know. Cashmere. Or handbags. [WWD]
• If you need a fresh reason to hate the fashion industry this morning, how about an over-privileged under-informed 17-year-old heaping scorn on Luella's closure, and bragging about how she has, like, a ton of Lacroix — in the garage? Jane Aldridge probably kisses her Vogue portrait before going to bed each night. Right after inclining her head to say her prayers to Anna. [Fashionista]
• Vivienne Westwood says of the same closure, "It's very sad, but English fashion will survive, and be stronger." [Style.com]
• A four-day auction of the last contents of Pierre Bergé and Yves Saint Laurent's home has begun in Paris. Everything from the chandeliers to the pots and pans is for sale, some 1,185 objects in all. [Breitbart]
• Lanvin has attracted a minority investor. An unnamed entity, believed to be a European family, has bought a 12.5% stake in the business, for an estimated tens of millions of Euros. Last year, sales at Lanvin rose 29%. [WWD]
• Apparently it takes £230 worth of creams to look like Jane Birkin, along with Clarins and Dr. Hauschka makeup. And we always thought her so low maintenance and carefree. [Daily Mail]
• Birkin's daughter Charlotte Gainsbourg may be the face of the new Balenciaga perfume, but that won't stop Olivier Zahm from photographing the bottle between the breasts of a topless mannequin. Stay classy, Olivier! [FWD]
• John Bartlett, the recently fired men's wear designer for Liz Claiborne, has announced a collaboration with Alex Carleton of Rogues Gallery. RG/JB will launch in December at John Bartlett's Greenwich Village store, and will include a handcrafted leather log carrier and bankers' envelopes. Sounds practical. [WWD]
• Porsche is bringing back Yoko Ono's favorite sunglasses. [Luxist]
• A Gap store in Vancouver turned itself upside down to sell shoppers on a new kind of reward program called, for some reason, Sprize. They hung all the mannequins from the ceiling and turned the signage upside-down, but what you really need to know is this: Sprize reimburses you the cost difference automatically if merchandise you buy full-price later goes on sale. It's like everything you ever buy will be on sale. And it's not in the U.S. yet why??? [BrandFreak]
• Rosita and Tai Missoni seem like an adorable old couple. [Scotsman]
• Expect Burberry handbags, shoes and belts, as well as children's wear, in the near future. [Reuters]
• In coordination with something called cryptically "more trees," Louis Vuitton is paying 10 million yen (about $112,000) to reforest a 104-hectare area of land in Japan, to be known as the Louis Vuitton Forest. (Insert your own where-handbags-grow-on-trees joke.) [Japan Tourism]

• Today a judge ruled that Jon Gosselin must pay back $180,000 of the money he removed from his shared bank account with Kate Gosselin in violation of an arbitrator's order. As for the rest of the money...

• Kate's lawyer said, "The remaining sum of $55,000, which Ms. Gosselin used for household bills and expenses relating to the children, will be subject to further determination by the arbitrator at a later date." Jon has to pay by October 26 or be held in contempt. Kate has until that date to detail what she's been spending the money on. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan Tweeted: "@samantharonson doesn't respond 2me b/c her family will cut her off if she contacts me…They control the one I love & im incapable of making any sort of difference. I'm in love with her, as she is in love with me….but her loved ones-hate her brilliance & resent her happiness" [Perez Hilton]
• In the video at the link, a Dallas news anchor asks Oprah, "Would you like to take this opportunity to apologize to America for introducing us to Dr. Phil?" She laughs and says, "Aren't you proud of your boy from Texas?" to which the anchor replies, "No." [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson was nominated for five American Music Awards today. His death made him the biggest-selling artist of the year and he was nominated for favorite male artist and favorite album for Number Ones. [Reuters]
• Sources who have heard unreleased Michael Jackson recordings say there are at least two albums worth of material, and some are better than "This Is It." [TMZ]
• Helen Harris-Scott, who once claimed Michael Jackson communicated with her through his music, has filed a creditor's claim for $50 million. She says Michael installed a tracking device in her car, wiretapped her phone and had "organized criminals watching me inside my house in L.A. and reporting to him." [TMZ]
• Robert O'Ryan, Shawn Johnson's alleged stalker, will stand trial for felony stalking, felony commercial burglary and two misdemeanor counts of carrying a loaded firearm in his car. A judge threw out an attempted kidnapping charge because although he had zip ties, duct tape, and a shot gun in his car the judge said there was so much junk in the vehicle that he could not have fit Johnson inside. [TMZ]
• Deputy James Davis, the police officer who arrested Evi Quaid and Randy Quaid, is suing her because she was photographed hanging a hand painted sign accusing him of taking bribes outsider her home. Now another sign has appeared that accuses him of being a "Deputy with Underrated Intelligence." [TMZ]
• NBC has cancelled Southland, but TNT may pick it up. [Hollywood Reporter]
• A Richard Prince exhibition has reopened at the Tate Modern in London after a nude photo of Brooke Shields when she was 10-years-old was removed for possibly violating obscenity laws. Prince was consulted and the picture was replaced with a photo of Shields as an adult. [N.Y. Times]
• The first witness in the preliminary hearing over Anna Nicole Smith's death testified today that she was found with a bottle of the anti-biotic Cipro and a baby bottle full of Pedialyte, which is used to rehydrate children who have diarrhea and vomiting. Anna had the flu. [TMZ]
• The paparazzi caught Maria Shriver talking on a cell phone while driving, which was outlawed by a bill Arnold Schwarzenegger signed last year. [TMZ]
• Paparazzi caught Famke Jannsen with feeding her dog while dining on the patio of a New York restaurant. In New York it is illegal to bring a dog into a restaurant. [TMZ]
• The cover of Q magazine featuring a topless Lily Allen with panthers won a Maggie for the best UK magazine cover of the year. [Guardian]
• Lily Allen is preparing to move in with her new boyfriend Sam Cooper, who is a builder. "They have made enquiries about several terraced properties in Primrose Hill in London," says a source. "Sam's brilliant at planning and design so it makes sense for him to advise on any business ventures. They're so into each other, it's very sweet." [Ok]
• Though they've only been dating for a few weeks Katy Perry wants to introduce Russell Brand to her parents. "Katy is as besotted with Russell as he is with her. However, her parents are extraordinarily strict Christians," says a source. "Katy is sure that, after a bit of getting used to him, they would approve of Russell, but she wants to get that initial meeting out of the way as early as she can." [The Sun]
• Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen saved a lost dog they saw other drivers swerving around in Los Angeles. Sacha called the owners to set up a meeting and said he'd recognize them because, "I'm very tall and my fiancée is really tiny. You can't miss us." [E!]
• PETA is attacking Paris Hilton for buying a pet mini-pig recently, saying she sets a "wretched example" by treating animals like they're "as disposable as her friends and fiances." [TMZ]
• Karina Smirnoff says the rumors she's hooking up with her Dancing With the Stars partner Aaron Carter are "really funny" because judge Len Goodman keeps accusing them of not being sexy enough on the dance floor. "Let me tell you, if that was the case, the dance would have been very raunchy, as Len wanted it to be," she said. [People]
• The autopsy of Boyzone star Stephen Gately, who was found dead on Saturday, shows he died of natural causes. [USA Today]
• Ethan Hawke is on the new cover of Hobo magazine, sitting on a swing looking scruffy and dejected. [Just Jared]
• Tilda Swinton is trying to prevent Donald Trump from developing a golf course in Scotland. He responded: "Where was Tilda Swinton three years ago when everyone else was petitioning? She's a little late in the game don't you think? Swinton is a part of a tiny little group of people who are hanging by a thread. 93% of the public in Scotland are in favor of the project. I have all of my permits and approvals and we're going to start construction in 3 weeks." [TMZ]
• Heidi Klum says she and Seal won't be having any more kids after their new daughter Lou Sulola. "I think that it's a wonderful experience to be pregnant, definitely, but you have to look at what you can do, and four children is a lot!" she said. "It's a big family. We drive a really big VW bus. Now in September, all three children will be going to school. Try to fit three car seats in the back of the car!" [People]
• T.R. Knight told Ellen DeGeneres, "I want a baby... I don't know if it's going to end up working out, but that would be something I would like." [Us]
• Former Spice Girl Emma Bunton's two-year-old son Beau was taken to the hospital last week because he had a bloody lip. Bunton says, "It's been an emotional week for me as Beau had his first accident, which left both of us in tears. He fell over his scooter and his tooth pierced his bottom lip, so there was blood everywhere." He was sent home the same day. [Daily Express]
• Claire Danes says she likes to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge but has never ventured much further into the borough. "That's terrible. I sound terrible," she said. Her husband Hugh Dancy added, "Basically, you're speaking to the most politely pro-Manhattanite person that you've ever met, right here." [N.Y. Magazine]
• "They've turned the word rock into nothing. It's a meaningless word. "It rocks." "That food rocks." "She's rocking in that outfit." They've taken the word and stripped it of all its menace, of all its dirt, of all its sex." — Joan Jett [Esquire]
• Jane Birkin says Serge Gainsbourg "was scared stiff of all breasts. Which was why, when he met me, he said: 'Wow – you have a body just like the ones I drew in art school.' He didn't like bosoms to be high and pert; he liked them lower down, which was just as well, as I'd had a baby. 'I've always dreamt of a girl who had the top of a boy and the bottom of a girl,' he once told me – Serge did like a bottom." [The Telegraph]
• Sharon Stone says she likes the men of old Hollywood like William Powell and Spencer Tracy because, "They're chivalrous and funny and not too politically correct. They still smack a gal on the ass, which I just think is swell. They wear a suit, they have a hat, they drive a car, they have a job. They stand up when you come in the room, say please and thank you. All those old fashioned things go a long way with me." [Showbiz 411]

• Jesus Luz went on a Brazilian TV program, Fantastico, and said of Madonna: "She is my friend, only my friend." Hmm. Wow. Okay. He also said:

"Madonna is a person who I admire very much, a friend who has entered my life and [with whom] I keep in contact. I cannot say anything more than I don't have plans of marrying her. I can't say if she is the woman in my life." Dammit! Are they shagging or not? What does it mean? [Gatecrasher, The Sun]

• Lily Allen: Not impressed by Susan Boyle! "I thought her timing was off on Britain's Got Talent on Sunday — no control, and I don't think she has an amazing voice." And! "She seems like a lovely lady but if the show is about talent, then that Shaheen kid should win." [Daily Mail]
• Aww, Kiefer Sutherland and Proenza Schouler's Jack McCollough have kissed and made up! Well there was no kissing, but the two did issue a brief joint statement: "I am sorry about what happened that night and sincerely regret that Mr. McCollough was injured," Sutherland said. "I appreciate Mr. Sutherland's statement and wish him well," McCollough said. Then a unicorn jumped over a rainbow and gumdrops and structured dresses fell from the sky. [USA Today]
• Kiefer's headbutt incident caused some drama on the set of the film he's working on. [Daily Express]
• Guess who was out drinking Thursday night? Kiefer Sutherland. He had his 21-year-old daughter with him. [Page Six]
• Check out the toothless picture Demi Moore posted of herself — from the dentist's chair — on Twitter. Nice glasses. [Daily Mail]
• Charlotte Gainsbourg has won the best actress prize at the Cannes Film Festival for her role in Lars von Trier's Antichrist — in which she does unspeakable things to the genitalia of Willem Dafoe. Congrats! [AP]
• Tragic: Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter is on life support after she was found with her neck caught in the cord of a treadmill. [AP, NY Post, NY Daily News]
• Cate Blanchett spoke at the World Business Summit on Climate Change in Copenhagen yesterday, saying: "Australia's best climate scientists have been warning us that we'll face many more catastrophic fire days in south-east Australia unless the world acts to dramatically cut greenhouse pollution. We have the ability to kick start the low carbon economies of the future right when we need to, and that's now." [Breitbart]
• Natalie Cole has been released from the hospital five days after getting a kidney transplant. The memorial service for her sister, who died from lung cancer the same day Natalie received a kidney, was held yesterday. [People]
• We've heard this a zillion times, but now it's confirmed by his "people": Mel Gibson's girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is pregnant. [People]
• "Actress and Scientologist Kirstie Alley is on a Twittering crusade against a bill that would provide money for screening, diagnosis and treatment of postpartum depression." Here are some of her Tweets:"I have to get you all info on THE MOTHER'S ACT. this is this lousy BILL that would give BIG BROTHER the right to force you to drug ur kids" And: "AND MANDATE that when you are pregnant, YOU MUST take drugs if a Dr. tells you to. THIS is BIG BROTHER at his finest. More on this soon moms." Plus: "I am organizing a MILLION MOM MARCH to protest this BILL. It just keeps rearing it's head. BACKED 100% by BIG PHARMA. MOMS UNITE!!" According to a spokesperson, the "Mother's Act," sponsored in the Senate by Sen. Bob Menendez, will not force "expectant mothers or new mothers to do anything." The spokesperson says: "Furthermore, the pharmaceutical industry has had nothing to do with this bill. We frankly have no idea where they get this stuff." [Politico]
• Lindsay Lohan will star in The Other Side, an indie comedy Katie Holmes was supposed to make. Apparently Katie was really into the script, sending notes and stuff, and then there was a scheduling conflict. This is the one with Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Jason Lee, Alanis Morissette and Dave Matthews; Lindsay will play a grad student who goes to spend her summer doing research on a remote island, where she discovers a community of eccentrics who share a secret. [Yahoo via E!]
• While Monica Bellucci was at the closing ceremonies of the Cannes Film Festival, burglars stole about $112,000 worth of jewels, a laptop and such from her Paris apartment. It's so To Catch A Thief! [Reuters]
• Whoopi Goldberg cut her Las Vegas stand up show short on Friday night after a man in the audience had a seizure and collapsed. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse's mom, Janis, says Amy drinks because she's bored. "Amy knows her drinking ruined the performance. Of course her band is frustrated, but even they can't stop her. It's just another one of Amy's addictions getting the better of her. It's yet another demon she has to beat. She came off drugs on her own so I know she'll stop drinking too much too. It has to be her decision though, no one else can stop her." [The Sun]
• Colin Farrell will be the best man when his gay brother Eamon Farrell marries his partner Steven later this year. [Daily Express]
• Shocker: Jon & Kate Plus 8 is staged, says Kate's sister-in-law Julie. She blogs: "When the show first started, Kate made a wish list of things that she wanted, and that became the theme of each episode - the carpet, twins' room, bunk beds, cow, hair plugs, teeth whitening, trips, etc. EVERYTHING that you see them do or buy is completely paid for out of the budget for the show or traded for free advertising … The episodes are also staged. Here's how it works ... there is a staff of people reading these blogs and they base the shows around what people are talking about." [MSNBC Scoop]
• The Real Housewives Of New York are getting a raise: Next season they'll get "upwards of $30,000 per episode." Raise your hand if you feel impoverished now. [NY Daily News]
• Lost's Evangeline Lilly says that producers "have seen that I haven't picked up on the opportunity to become a big movie star. It frustrates [them] that they've given me this chance to become the next Angelia Jolie" yet she hasn't gone after it. She adds: "Sure, I'd love to be her, but just the humanitarian side." [Page Six via Women's Health]
• Desperate Doused Wives? Teri Hatcher jumped into the pool fully clothed after performing with her charity group, "Band From TV," at Miami Beach's Shore Club. [Page Six]
• Mandy Moore loves watching the cagefighting mixed-martial arts of the UFC: "It's the best way for me to get out my aggression," she says. "The rush of adrenaline, being in an arena with 20,000 screaming people-it's overwhelming in the best way." [Maxim]
• Kevin Bacon's BlackBerry was stolen at a subway station in NYC on Thursday — and KB totally chased the guy! Unfortunately, he didn't catch him. [Daily Mail]
• Liz Taylor is in the hospital, but it's only a routine visit. Also: La Liz hearts Twitter. [MSNBC]
• "Brooke Shields: 'I was a virgin until the age of 22 because I didn't like the way I looked.'" [Daily Mail
• Rapper T.I. played a farewell concert to an arena packed with 16,000 fans Sunday night; he's due to report at the Federal Correction Institution at Forrest City, Arkansas by noon today. [USA Today]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Model Adriana Lima is reportedly three months pregnant; she eloped with NBA player Marko Jaric on Valentine's Day earlier this year. [Gatecrasher]
• Are you wondering if the Jonas Brothers are fizzling out as a Disney franchise? Here's a 1,114 word story that will sort of, but not really, answer that question. [NY Times]
• In this interview with Michael Bay, he divulges that the new Transformers movie takes up huge chunks of computer memory with its special effects. The first Transformers took up "an astounding 15 terabytes," and the sequel required 140 terabytes. "That breaks every record," says Bay. Also: Did you know he directed that old Aaron Burr "Got Milk" commercial? [LA Times]
• Phylicia Rashad, aka Claire Huxtable, is taking over as the mother in the Broadway play August Osage County. This article notes, "In a notable flourish of so-called nontraditional casting, Ms. Rashad inherits a white stage family of three daughters, a husband, a sister and other relatives." [NY Times]
• Are Kylie Minogue and her hot hottie gonna get married? [News.com.au]
• Not that you care but: "Peter Andre tells Katie Price it's 'too late' to reconcile, as he spends first day back with his kids." [Mirror]
• Morrissey has canceled more tour dates due to illness. [BBC News]
• For the last few weeks, there's been lots of buzz about the book Hollywood producer Jon Peters was going to write — with details about Barbra Streisand and so on — and now his book deal is off. Although he's still going to write a book. [Deadline Hollywood]
• "A Night Out With" Nia Vardalos includes Greek desserts, men yelling out blessings in Greek, and Rita Wilson dipping her tongue in a shot glass of Jägermeister, with Vardolos urging, "Do it, do it, do it." [NY Times]
• Sly Stone — previously reclusive — has been taking the stage lately, to support his 27-year-old daughter Novena Carmel, and her band, BabyStone. [CNN]
• Two Scottish cities are fighting over Groundskeeper Willie of The Simpsons. Is there nothing else to do? [The Sun]
• Grumpy Paul McCartney is reportedly "furious" about the switch to digital cable. "He doesn't think it's right that you have to either go to the trouble of getting an adapter or you have to buy a new TV, which he should do anyway," says a source. "You'd think he'd have an apartment full of flat screen TVs but really, he's got these old clunky sets in this tiny New York apartment." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Attention, Black Magic Women: Tomorrow, Carlos Santana will kick off a two-year residency at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. [USA Today]
• RIP Jay Bennett, former member of the band Wilco. [E!]
• Tony Curtis called Joan Collins a "****" but it's tough to figure out what those stars stand for. [Daily Mail]
• Liberty DeVitto, who played with Billy Joel for 30 years, has sued the singer claiming he's owed overdue royalties. [UPI]
• Do you want to read a quote from Heather Mills' ex-fiancé, Chris Terrill, in which he compares her to a tornado? Then by all means, click the link. [Mirror]
• Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian made a whopping $70 million over the last four days; Terminator Salvation made about $65. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Phish tour: Sold out. Go find your tie-dye. [UPI]
• "Simple Minds return with a new album but the same defiant attitude." [Daily Express]
• Blind item! "What seemingly sweet small-screen starlet is actually so nasty that she won't speak to anyone on set until she 'has her face on?'" [Gatecrasher]
• "It was a divine beginning and it went on becoming more romantic. He took more attention than you can imagine to make sure you were sexually OK, with tiny wee cushions everywhere so one was comfortable. I never knew anyone who gave one such tiny, exquisite attentions. It was like having a wonderful parrot who bites everyone else but you. Everyone said: 'Oh Serge, he's so dangerous.' I said : 'Oh yes, he is,' but really, he was a pushover – very sentimental, very romantic." — Jane Birkin, on Serge Gainsbourg. [Guardian]
• "I don't take myself so seriously. All these people think I do. Look, a lot of people think it's fun to hate on Michael Bay. There's a lot of poison on the Internet. People always try to knock someone who's had a ton of success in movies. Whatever." — Michael Bay. [LA Times]
• "Becoming a mum was the single most profound, self-adjusting moment in my life. I birthed myself. It's like I took back my life. I took back the essence of who I am." — Thandie Newton, who struggled with bulimia before she got pregnant. [Times Of London]
• "Very swiftly we turned into two different people, and it's just hard. He's angry with me that he's home and I'm not. Yet he doesn't really feel great about me, so he wants me to travel. It is so involved I almost can't put it into words. I think the thing that makes me the maddest is: Jon made some mistakes and he was out and whatever, and that made people question him. I'm doing what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing. I'm working and traveling. [which led to reports that she was having an affair with her bodyguard]." — Kate Gosselin. [AP]
• "Since I've played for years, I get a little break. I think if I were doing rock music, there would be more doubt because there's such a great tradition of actors doing rock music so badly." — Steve Martin, on his banjo playing and bluegrass album. [NY Post]
• "I have never tap-danced in my life and I was kicked out of the choir in the fifth grade because I can't sing, but for this movie I had to tap-dance and sing in one scene… when I was supposed to be nine months pregnant. So I had tap shorts over fishnets around a fake pregnancy belly, and when I put my arms up to tap-dance in front of 300 people, my pants fell down. It was like embarrassment laid on top of embarrassment laid on top of embarrassment." — Sarah Chalke, on shooting the Lifetime movie Maneater. [NY Daily News]
• "For me, it's not a pastime, going out and meeting people and trying to hook up with people. That actually makes me feel disgusting. From a really early age, I was really sensitive to that. Getting your flirt on is the best thing in the world, but when it comes to sharing bodily fluids with a person I don't know — no thank you." — Katy Perry. [Gatecrasher]

[Image by Steven Klein via W Magazine.]

• "Life poet" Joaquin Phoenix on his rap career:

"I want it to be big. Not big like popular. I want it to really try and be, for me, the culmination of my life thus far. I realize it's going to be for public consumption, so there are songs that are about - there are dance songs. Most of it, I think, is an internal exploration." Like a rectal exam? [USA Today]

• James Gray, the director of Joaquin's latest film, Two Lovers, says of JP's hip-hop thing: "If it's an act, it's the most committed act I've ever seen in my life. I mean, he built a studio [in his house]." ABC News]
• If you want to talk to Joaquin Phoenix, prepare to sign a release, because it's gonna be filmed for his documentary. [Gatecrasher]
• A Friday gift: Video of Clive Owen, talking about The International. Why is the way he says "shootout" so sexy? [WSJ]
• Madonna went on a date with Jesus Luz in New York last night; they dined at a steakhouse and talked about Kabbalah. [Daily Mail]
• Before "baby" Jesus left Brazil to hang out with her Madgesty, he had two different girlfriends. [Page Six]
• Nicole Kidman has donated £230,000 to help victims of the Australian bushfires. She says: "As Australians, I think the biggest thing is that, no matter where you are in the world, we support each other and we rally." [The Sun]
• This report says that teen fashion designer Kira Plastinina may have been the cause of the Chris Brown/Rihanna fight. [Extra]
• Chris Brown has left Las Vegas and is on his way to meet his mom; she lives in Virginia but it's unclear if he is headed there or if they are meeting somewhere else. [E!]
• Reports persist that Chris and Rihanna's right started with a text from another woman; Leona Lewis, Paris Hilton and Keisha Chanté were all suspected of flirting with Chris, but all deny it. [E!]
• Roger Friedman from Fox seems to think Paris Hilton is involved. [Fox 411]
• When Rihanna wore an eyepatch in concert last year, was it because Chris Brown had injured her eye? [The Sun]
• Chris Brown is seeking a "crisis-management expert." [EW]
• Oh no: Details of how the surgery of Tameka Foster Raymond — Usher's wife — went terribly wrong: She went to Brazil to get lipo and right after she went under general anesthesia, she suffered cardiac arrest. Of course, Usher's rep issued a statement on February 8 which read: "Tameka Raymond is in stable condition after suffering complications from routine surgery in Brazil." Bold ours, obviously. This may be a case of surgery too soon after childbirth: Their second son is two months old. [People]
• Speaking of surgery, a doctor who does not treat him says Michael Jackson's nose "will collapse" after a staph infection he may have contracted after a nose job. [The Sun]
• Grey's Anatomy creator Shonda Rhimes heard that T.R. Knight and Katherine Heigl were leaving Grey's Anatomy and says: "That was a very interesting rumor. And it's not true." [People]
• Boooo: Victoria Beckham was considered to be a judge on American Idol, but she was too busy. Wouldn't you love to see Posh take on the wacky kids? [Mirror]
• Dina Lohan owes $11,485.74 in taxes on her Long Island home, and today is the deadline to pay. [TMZ]
• Oscar-nominated film-maker Stephen Daldry is pondering a remake of My Fair Lady, with Keira Knightley as Eliza Doolittle. Asks this reporter, Wouldn't it be luvverly? [Daily Mail]
• Who will score an interview with post-bong-pic Michael Phelps? [Page Six]
• Even though Hugh Grant is supposed to be with Jemima Khan, he was seen making out with two women in New York Tuesday night. [Gatecrasher]
• Monday night, Hugh Grant made out with Drew Barrymore. [Page Six]
• Sienna Miller is ShoWest 2009's supporting actress of the year. This summer she'll be in the giant GI Joe flick. [Hollywood Reporter]
• News you can't use: Kimora Lee Simmons prepared for Valentine's Day by getting her armpit hair lasered off. [Page Six]
• Eminem's new track, "Crack A Bottle," featuring Dr. Dre and 50 Cent, set a new first-week record for download sales. [Reuters]
• What is going on over at Desperate Housewives? Eva Longoria and Teri Hatcher are going to kiss in an upcoming episode? Sounds like a desperate reach for ratings. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Did anyone know that Jennifer Hudson's fiancé is training with hopes to be a WWE wrestler? [Perez]
• Mira Sorvino is pregnant with baby number 3. [ET]
• Did Michael Stipe and his entourage once visit Mario Batali's restaurant after the kitchen was closed and keep the place open, ringing up a tab of $5,000? And then not tip or say thank you?!?!?! [Perez]
• Some dude bought a Blackberry on eBay and it had phone numbers for Jude Law, Natalie Portman and Kevin Spacey programmed into it, among others. [Telegraph]
• Kevin Costner's wife Christine gave birth to a baby boy, Hayes Logan Costner, on Thursday night. They have another son named Cayden who is almost 2. [ET]
• Living legend Jane Birkin has a new album, and she wrote all of the songs herself. You may know her as Serge Gainsbourg's love interest, as Charlotte Gainsbourg's mom, or as the inspiration for the Birkin bag. [Dazed Digital]
• The band Yes has canceled concert dates due to "unforeseen" medical reasons. [AP]
• Blind item: "Which disturbed loser is more of a cad than we thought? He's spilling the beans about his former flame's kinky sex habits to anyone who'll listen." [Gatecrasher]
• "[I wanted] to be named New York senator. I can't believe Paterson didn't ask. I even had a slogan: 'Make the switch, vote for the bitch.'" — Joy Behar. [Gatecrasher]
• "I realized partying is not what I am anymore." — Tara Reid, on her new sober life. [Daily Express]
• "I adored him, and I felt adored by him... he said to be a good parent, you never say no." — Emily Mortimer, on her father, who died in January. He was an author and created of a popular UK TV series. [Daily Mail]
• "It's one of those vampire movies. It's very funny. It's me with the beard." — Salma Hayek on her facial hair in her new flick, Cirque du Freak. [USA Today]
• "Toward the end of the shoot, he kept saying 'Oh I'm so tired, I'm so tired.' You hear that kind of thing and you think it's a joke. I just ignored it. I drove up to his house because his phone was disconnected. He said, 'I don't want to act anymore, I've been doing it for 30 years and if you did something for 30 years, you'd want to quit too.' That rap thing ... in the movie actually comes from something I played for him. I had an obsession with doing that sort of thing as a teenager. ... It turns out that Joaquin is imitating me in a lot of the movie. He said, 'I want to do that, I want to steal from that, I want to do the rap that you used to do.' I said, 'OK.' And now I'm seeing him do this thing, and I feel like I've ruined Joaquin Phoenix for the world. I don't want to be the guy that destroyed Joaquin Phoenix's acting career." — James Gray, the director of Two Lovers. [ABC News]
• "You drop some weight just by running after them." — Naomi Watts on her "body after baby." [People]
• "I'm 43 years old and I haven't ever really had a good relationship." — Moby. [NY Mag]
• "Seal always puts a smile on my face. We make each other laugh all the time. Laughing is good. I understand that life is not always just a smile all the time. But when you're facing problems, it doesn't make it better if you're kind of miserable. I always try to have a positive feeling. Every morning when I get up, I'm happy to be here. Even when I'm tired because the kids have been crying in the night, they come in and want mama and crawl into my bed. They look at you and they have that smile on their faces and life is good." — Heidi Klum. [The Star]
• "The pageantry of getting your hair curled and then all these beautiful clothes put on you — it was totally different. It was an escape. In Hollywood, you feel a responsibility to look less disheveled than you are. But I'm a mom and I'm not good at putting time into prepping. I tell my girlfriends — imagine if all the time you put into waxing and primping, you took all of that energy and put it into something useful." — Isla Fisher, on getting styled for Confessions Of A Shopaholic. [WSJ]

First, the much-anticipated Nan Goldin shoot. Goldin almost never shoots fashion these days — I think I saw an editorial for a German children's magazine included in the International Center of Photography's current "Weird Beauty" fashion photography exhibit, which probably comprises, along with this story, her total fashion output of the last five years — so seeing her work with such a versatile model is special.

The shoot is raw and the colors are saturated. The whole thing looks moody, like stills from some slightly bygone film.

Excuse the prominent gutters in these scans; I was selfishly trying to keep the issue intact, because it's so beautiful.

I want this Alexander Wang sweater. And the attitude to wear it. Unfortunately my prospects of developing the wherewithal to fund or develop either are slim.

Now, the Steven Klein editorial, entitled "Lara Fiction Noire," is intense. It's set in some kind of dingy concrete warehouse, and opens with a shot of Lara Stone in Dolce & Gabbana underwear, handcuffed by her ankles to a bedframe. (It might refer to an earlier shot of Jane Birkin in the same pose, apparently by Steven Meisel, provenance unknown.) The male model co-stars (Lara's victims? kidnappers? playmates?) are Travis Hanson and Doug Porter.

It gets ever more disturbing as the disguises come into play.

And then the weapons.

Not to mention the disturbing sense of observing a ménage-à-trois taking place amidst an air of violence.

The ambiguity of the locus of control here, my own uncertainty as to which person has the power, gives me a strong feeling of unease.

The above five images were all included in the magazine itself — but they do not comprise the entire story. Another three pictures were apparently spiked by French Vogue. Klein put them up on his website, with the helpful legend "UNCENSORED" in big, red type.

And the out-takes are doozies. I am almost too disturbed by this violent flesh-eaten zombie model car-crash event that Lara, in the driver's seat, is taking totally in stride, to frame my thoughts into words. But I also feel like this is the most affecting and thought-provoking editorial in the entire issue.

This is in the register of a David Lynch film, full of frightful imagery and the barest hints of a plot more horrifying than any slasher flick. What does it mean? Who has the power? Why is that man's face covered in blood?

For some reason, I find this one scarier than the one with the male model who might as well be a burn victim or someone Lara recently flayed and ate. Lara just looks so serene, so at peace with the hell around her, it's chilling. (Also, what happened to her stocking?) This is like a nightmare, come to life inside a magazine, and it's some of the most moving work I've seen from Klein in years. I'm transfixed and appalled and exhilerated and exquisitely, perfectly disturbed, all at once. Like any art form, I suppose it's not the role of fashion to make anyone comfortable. Luckily it's almost the end of the day; I need a drink after all that.

I might nurse it as I rewatch this behind-the-scenes video, which Klein also just uploaded to his site. Seeing the bloodied male model stirring slightly as Klein shoots is somehow all the more disturbing.












Earlier: French Vogue: All Lara Stone, All The Time

Related: Steven Klein [Official Site]

• Diane von Furstenberg attended the inauguration with her oldest African-American friend, André Leon Talley. She hobnobbed with Oprah and David Axelrod, then dressed up in, um, a ski suit to watch the swearing-in. [Financial Times]

• Poor Peter Som sounds like he's having a hell of a time. He left Bill Blass to focus on his eponymous line, only for his financial backers to, well, back swiftly away. The Cut asked how he was doing, and he told them, "Shit happens. Sometimes it's a lot, sometimes it's a little. So I think everyone's going through some tough times...Why don't you ask me some questions about Michelle Obama's dress?" Turns out he submitted sketches of a long, white gown — "I guess I was in the ballpark, right?" — but obviously wasn't Michelle Obama's final choice. The way I see it, while a Google bump and a Good Morning America interview might have given him some press, the fundamentals are still what counts. And his ability to design beautiful clothes women want to wear is, at least, recession-proof. [The Cut]
• Clearly Som is not the only one in fashion hurting. Abercrombie & Fitch, which had extremely poor fourth quarter sales, laid off 50 workers at their Ohio headquarters. The mall store sees itself as an aspirational brand, so it refuses to discount its wares to move units during any downturn — their sale-happy competitors have no such compunction, which is part of the reason for Abercrombie's double-digit slide in same-store sales since August of last year. Further layoffs have not been ruled out. [Reuters]
• For another view on the recession, check out this interview with Stefano Gabbana and Domenico Dolce, conducted back in September, just as the financial news was going from bad to awful. It's a snapshot of two men who, like we all were back then, are still grappling with the daily news of a world economy in a slow-motion crash. Says Gabbana, "The money hasn’t changed, it’s the mentality." Dolce offers, "Maybe we go well with crisis?" before pointing out a trend piece in Corriere della Serra about the financial crisis bringing people together. Gabbana shoots back, "Yes, but I’m also tired of reading this stupid stuff. I’m sick of it. We said the same thing after September 11. We just continue to do our job in the same way, maybe putting more energy, more fantasia, more creativity into it." As worthwhile a strategy as any. [Interview]
• Other designers plowing resolutely ahead without saying 'boo': Brioni, which introduced a made-to-measure suit that can cost up to $43,000 in October, and Hermès, whose limited-edition silk Josef Albers scarves of last fall cost $2800 each. The "elite of the elite" have bought 30 of the suits, astonishingly. [WSJ]
• Supposedly, LVMH's Bernard Arnault and PPR's François Pinault have buried the hatchet. What kind of world is it where two French luxury-industry billionaires who share a last-name syllable can't get along? [Financial Times]
• Iman compared herself to a duck in an interview with E! Canada. Because ducks look calm and collected, but are paddling furiously beneath the surface. A writer for the National Post, apparently unable to grasp why a supermodel would find an animal metaphor useful in describing her personality as opposed to her looks, takes this to mean Iman has body-image issues. [National Post]
• A stage manager who worked on the set of "Lipstick Jungle" is being charged with the theft of almost $30,000 worth of costumes. Designers who had lent the production their clothing and accessories noticed unreturned items going up on eBay. [CNN]
• Jason Wu is feeling the love this week. The 26-year-old designer of that one-shouldered white gown got his very own profile in the Times' "Sunday Styles" section, right ahead of fashion week. Reporter Eric Wilson mentions Wu was taking interviews in between working on his fall collection, but offers no further details of the intriguing fur-fest. (Wu told Fashion Week Daily fall would be all about fur. And "luxury.") [NY Times]
• Inaugural fashion coverage would not be complete without a lengthy, considered piece by Robin Givhan all about the styles of dress of the attendees not named Obama. [Washington Post]
• For reasons unclear, Spanish feminists protested a Zara store in Madrid. [The F Word]
• J Peterman, the company best known for "Seinfeld" gags and a real-life 1999 bankruptcy, is back. [MSNBC]
• Awesome lady Jane Birkin watched the Hermès men's show in Paris wearing an Obama pin. [WWD]
• Chloe Sevigny talks to the Times about her style, but gives no information about that unisex collection she's presenting this week in Paris. She does, however, shop for hosiery from a guy who is "like the Soup Nazi, but he sells socks." [NY Times]
• Meanwhile, Padma Lakshmi has a line of fine jewelry she'd like very much to sell you. [WWD]
• The Fashion Design Council of India has a new program: model rehab. It's like industry exit counseling, to get you a new job when the clients stop booking you. [Hindustan Times]
• Jim Horne, male model of the 40s and 50s, and first cover subject of the newly renamed Gentleman's Quarterly, died at age 91 in New York. The business certainly was different then. [NY Times]
• Women shoppers are increasingly angered by the poor construction of budget fashion items. Complaints because of unwarned shrinkage, fading, breaking zippers, running dyes, and embellishments that fall off at the first wear are up 22%. Let's not take it anymore! Until there is another sale at H&M. [Independent]
• Marc Jacobs has palatial new digs in someAndre Balazs-developed condo building in SoHo. It's 2,500-square-feet, presumably expensive. [New York Post]
• Pam Anderson's Vivienne Westwood campaign is out. Shockingly, the pairing results in a less than demure aesthetic...let's just say Pamela Anderson's breasts are prominently displayed. Which is more subtle than the pics themselves! [Fashionista]
• At least they're going out with a bang: Hartmarx Corp., the Chicago company that owns Obama Inaugural tux-maker Hart Schaffner Marx, has filed for bankruptcy. [WSJ]
• Kanye West "promotes" his new Louis Vuitton-collab sneakers in a bizarre new video. Which is to say, he proclaims that he's changing his name from "the Louis Vuitton Don" (?) to "Martin Louis the King, Jr." (?) then declares, "and until then, I will be in the building, swagger, until one hundred thousand trillion." [Racked]
• Speaking of odd collaborations, we don't even want to imagine what kind of douchey teen will carry the new Ric Owens Eastpaks to school. At the very least, the inkstains had better be solid gold. [Fashionista]

• We love Betsey Johnson, but we're kind of weirded out by the revelation that she made out with Anna Nicole Smith, like on a Monday in 10th Grade when you hear about some really random hookup from a party over the weekend. "She was wearing one of those dotted net see-through things with roses on her bullet bra underneath . . . It was when she was doing TrimSpa, and she looked really beautiful." Okay, but wouldn't that be around the same time she was doing eating contests on her reality show? Again: to each her own. [Page Six]
• Janet Jackson's apparently unironic lingerie line, Pleasure Principle, is out. "The legendary hip-hop and R&B diva teamed with Bruno Schiavi, the Australian lingerie designer behind Dr. Rey’s Shapewear line (named for “Dr. 90210” fixture Dr. Robert Rey), for her debut fashion duet. The 18-piece line is named after the hit single from Jackson’s 1986 multiplatinum album “Control,” is designed to be comfortable for a range of sizes — 32A to 44G, and is crafted of mostly satin and lace." [WWD]
• It seems like celebs are always lying about how they're going to wear Project Runway designs, but after guest-judging the Australian iteration, Kelly Rowland's actually making good. "Wearing the custom-made, scalloped outfit on stage at a concert in Cannes, France, a few nights ago, the diva strutted her stuff - which almost brought a tear to the Brisbane designer's eye."She was so lovely and the fact that she has worn my design makes me so proud," Juli Grbac gushed. NB: from the pic, we can kinda see why they usually back out. [News.com.au]

• I think we've already expressed that the descriptions of Madonna's upcoming "Sticky & Sweet" tour are seriously depressing us. This doesn't help. "The Sticky & Sweet tour, which opens in Cardiff on Saturday, features an intriguing mix of gangsta pimp, dominatrix and gipsy costumes. And with looks designed by Givenchy's Ricardo Tisci, shoes by Miu Miu, thigh-high boots custom-made by Stella McCartney and sundry items from Yves Saint Laurent and Roberto Cavalli, it leaves no fashion stone unturned." [Telegraph]
• Kids aren't the only ones spending less on back-to-school; apparently teachers are some of the "hardest hit" by the recession. "Teachers from across the country are reporting they are spending less on clothes, waiting for sales and sometimes changing where they shop — even after some taking summer jobs to offset the increasing cost of living, according to an informal survey by WWD." [WWD]
• Nina Garcia "reveals" her list of top-ten "essentials." Spoiler: a little black dress is one of them. [Dallas News]
• Olympic committee rules make uniform expression a challenge: "Because country names on the front must be written in the Latin alphabet, countries like China compensate by using Chinese characters on the back. Flags and sponsor logos must be in a certain place and a certain size. The colors are regulated." [NYT]
• Speaking of rules, official sponsor Nike has been forced to let Speedo make the games' swim suits; seems the banana hammocks are just more efficient. "The apparent benefit of the LZR, which has a novel hydrodynamic construction that compresses the body into a tube, reducing drag while at the same time improving muscle performance, became apparent in national Olympic trials." [Times of Times]
• Teeny tiny Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth loves her some Armani: '"They really came though for me, and I'm a die-hard fan," she gushes. "After [the Oscars] were over, he sent me six dozen long-stemmed white roses with a really beautiful letter that said, 'Thank you so much' and 'I wanna dress you all the time.' " [Yahoo]
• Following Moe's profile of the editrix feuding at Elle, New York defends the story's integrity: "Maureen's story drew on many reliable sources — some on the record, and some on background. We stand by its accuracy." [WWD]
• Wait, so they don't just wear them to look hot? Holly McPeak explains that bikinis are more comfortable for beach volleyball: "You don't have an issue of sweat and sand collecting in places that you don't want it to," she says. "It really is the most functional uniform for beach volleyball." Thank you, we'd assumed that. [NPR]
• Heidi Klum's new ads for her Jordache collection - ripping off Heidi Montag? We're gonna go with, no. [Yahoo]
• Although the study is not conclusive, seems the rich are indeed different - or at least richer. Sales aren't flagging at all on Rodeo Drive. [LAT]
• Speaking of the rich — or at any rate, the titled — peers in the House of Lords have called for a moratorium on the waste culture that is fast fashion. No commentary required. [Daily Mail]
• Does Steve Carrell's wardrobe make the movie? Um, not really. [Guardian]
• Hayden Panettiere's mother apparently prepared to hawk her daughter's undies for charity. She didn't, though. [The Sun]
• Sweater company Lutz + Patmos, who in the past have done lines with random celebrities like Kirsten Dunst and Liv Tyler, is collaborating with Jane Birkin, who — if equally unqualified — is, at least, unassailably cool. [Nylon]

"You shouldn't!" I yell at my laptop.

Muhlke tries, patiently, to explain that the bag was inspired by Jane Birkin, who had trouble keeping her shit together on planes, and the CEO of Hermes felt so sorry for her.
"And who is Jane Birkin?" Sam Tanenhaus wants to know.
"Jane Birkin," Muhlke replies, laughing, "was the wife, or possibly not actual wife of the French singer…please help me…"
ZOMG!
"…Serge Gainsbourg."

Yeah, exactly. The trappings of wealth are really fucking boring and no one fucking cares, not even the editor of T: The New York Times Style Magazine, and pretending that we really actually care because that's what the cool people do is just creating a dull class of international jet-setters who are all indistinguishably dull, and with that I'm going to leave you with two profound paragraphs from the Kira profile and the excerpt to Bringing Home The Birkin which will maybe bring some joy to going about the rest of your day poor.

More than ever, she’s right. A generation ago Russian teenagers were trading for jeans on the black market and listening to hopelessly out-of-date Billy Joel. But there’s no lag, anymore, between the culture that European and American teenagers consume and what makes its way to Russia. Kira and her friends vacillate between punk and pop and R&B with the same immediacy as their counterparts in Orange County or Leeds. They study photos of Lindsay Lohan’s leggings, Nicole Richie’s hair. Kira’s friends wear Abercrombie & Fitch, Topshop, and Hollister, bought during trips abroad or ordered on the Internet.

And here readers, the epiphany that inspired the writer to quit his job and start arbitraging overpriced handbags on eBay for a living:

But lately I found myself becoming more jaded by my globe-trotting. Not because of the silly things you always heard those bridge-club biddies bemoaning in the airport — it wasn't lost luggage or the lack of a proper bagel that had me down. I didn't mind the calculus of currency conversion or the etymology of exotic entrées. No, it wasn't the inconvenience inherent to travel that was burning me out. It was boredom. I had increasingly noticed a sinister sameness about each of these foreign cities. Before my very eyes, every place was turning into every place else.

The Russian-American Princess [NY Mag]
Bringing Home The Birkin [New York Times First Chapters]
Bag Man [New York Times]

• Tom Ford has purchased a large tract of land near his New Mexico home to prevent it from being sullied by oil harvesters. For what did we invade Iraq, if not to preserve the nation's country homes? [Vogue UK]
  
• The rumor mill reports that Jessica Simpson has inked a fragrance deal, and the scent will be on shelves by this summer. Top notes of Chicken Of The Sea, perhaps? [Sassybella]
  
• "I don't like cheap things usually, but this collection is nice and of good quality," says Anna Della Russo, who styled the Roberto Cavalli for H&M ads. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• English designer Luella Bartley has decided that what the world needs now is...a line of femme-only surfwear that is both totally "street" and totally "70's" Ummm, whatever. Brazilian dance band CSS' frontwoman Lovefoxxx will be the face of the nonsensical line. [Vogue UK]

• Now that Karl Lagerfeld has graced China with his Fendi fashion show, the floodgates have opened! Yohji Yamamoto is headed to Beijing next. [WWD, 2nd item]
• The San Francisco Ballet and Saks Fifth Avenue are throwing a huge party for Patsy and Edina's favorite designer, Christian Lacroix! Which is why it's not really awkward that he told them he isn't going to be able to make it.... [WWD, 1st item]
• Tiffany & Co is branching out into eyewear. Sure to be spotted exclusively by 13- and 14-year old girls within, oh, 2 days of its launch. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Over 700 fans turned up to see Tom Ford in an appearance he made at a Milan department store, promoting his stupid fragrance Tom Ford for Men with its even stupider NSFW advertising campaign. [WWD, 1st item]
• Barney's Creative Director Simon Doonan is awesome but a complete liar: "[P]eople in the fashion industry are actually quite warm. They're always congregating and interacting. I honestly wish they were more bitchy, like the folks in the music business. But our flock is very sweet." [Fashion Week Daily]
• The children who were found in India making Gap clothing should be reunited with their families soon. In the meantime, Gap pays the expected lip service, thanking the media for exposing this problem and saying how of course they do not use nor support child labor. [MSNBC.com]
• More than 20 cities worldwide stage their own biannual fashion weeks, which means you could probably spend an entire year attending a fashion week every single day, which will probably be a really clever-sounding book proposal in a few weeks — the year I spent doing nothing but waiting in line and starving myself in 20 international destinations! — on the quirks of culture and globalization and the meaning of fashion, etc. Paging Lauren Goldstein Crowe! [Sassybella]