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Jamie Lynn Spears
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Knocked Up
dirt bag
Posh Spice In Plane Panic!
- Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham was on a plane with kids Romeo and Cruz when a bird flew into one the of the aircraft's engines right before take-off. According to The Sun, "Passengers screamed as the pilot slammed on the brakes and the plane screeched to a halt. It was then that the horrifying scale of the disaster really hit home for Victoria — she realised she was wearing standard-issue aircraft pyjamas and no make-up." [The Sun]
- Amy Winehouse hit her own damn bodyguard. Get a grip, girl! [The Sun]
- And here's a man who says Amy Winehouse punched him in the face three times at a pub. Is this new news? It's so hard to tell. [The Sun]
- Jamie Lynn Spears and new baby! Picture! [ONTD, via OK!]
- Is Mary-Kate Olsen heading back to rehab? Midweek Madness will have more on this later. [Star]
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Jamie Lynn's Delivery Drama, Party Girl Moms, Jake Moves In With Reese
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we search desperately for refreshing gossip in the weekly tabloids. The covers are all over the place this week: Jamie Lynn's delivery details; Tori Spelling's miracle baby; celeb moms who are party girls and the Reese and Jake sitch. There's also the "Best & Worst Beach Bodies" cover, our least favorite kind. After the jump, Intern Margaret assists as we seek thirst-quenching "news" in Us, OK!, Life & Style, In Touch and Star, after the jump. More »
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Amy Winehouse Diagnosed With Emphysema
- Talk about fighting some unholy war: Amy Winehouse has emphysema. Her father Mitch says: "With smoking the crack cocaine and the cigarettes her lungs are all gunked up. There are nodules around the chest and dark marks. She's got 70 per cent lung capacity." Shiz. [Daily Mail, via TMZ]
- Amy's emphysema is in the early stages. [People]
- But docs say if she goes back to smoking drugs, she won't just lose her voice: She'll die. [Yahoo News]
- Amy is "desperate" to perform at Nelson Mandela's birthday party this Friday, so there might be medics and an ambulance on standby. [Mirror]
- Comedian George Carlin has died at the age of 71. [AP]
- Will Angelina Jolie give birth on the 4th of July? Or will it be July 14, Bastille Day? USA vs. France! [LA Times]
- Someone fired a weapon awfully close to the set of Johnny Depp's move in Chicago. Johnny was not harmed, repeat: Johnny was not harmed. [TMZ]
- Johnny Depp's been supplying the crew of his new flick with booze. [Mirror]
- Courtney Love is "shockingly pale and thin." No, seriously. It's alarming. [The Sun]
the week that was
This Week There Were A Lot Of Pregnant Teens Up In Here
- This week we discussed matters of national importance. Like threesomes.
- Michelle Obama and the role of a first lady actually are matters of national importance. But omg her dresses are purdy!
- Michelle doesn't wear short shorts. Chuck Bass wears short shorts!
- A bunch of idiot teenagers in Gloucester, Mass made a "pregnancy pact", and now a whole mess of 'em are up the stick. Sigh.
- A teen who is no longer pregnant: Jamie Lynn Spears. She gave birth to wee Maddie Briann yesterday.
- A Polish teen got caught in the middle of the abortion battle.
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Naomi Campbell Is Guilty As Charged
- Naomi Campbell pleaded guilty to kicking and spitting at police officers after screaming foul words at a British Airways employee. Naomi was heard on the phone saying: "They have lost my fucking bags, get me another flight, get the press, get me my lawyer." What? Like you don't say that all the time. Please. [The Sun]
- Didja hear? Jamie Lynn Spears squeezed out a daughter named Maddie Briann yesterday. Good luck, kid! Er, kids. [E!]
- Not that you needed to know this but: JLS didn't have a C-section. [ET]
- Casey Aldridge was so nervous the first time he held his new daughter — birthed by girlfriend Jamie Lynn Spears — that he said he was afraid he's drop her. Aw. [TMZ]
- "[Jamie Lynn] is awfully young to be a momma, but that's what they make [grandmothers] for. They have to help. That's the way it is with our circle of friends." —JLS's distant cousin Margie Busby. [People]
- Britney might move back to Louisiana. [Us]
- Snoop Dogg's new country video is out! "Country music is the most underrated music in the world," Snoop, who dedicates the song to Johnny Cash, says. "It always has the test of time, it's great, it's heartfelt, and it touches people no matter what color they are or where they're from." [People]
Loose Lips
More Jamie Lynn bebeh news: she named the girl Maddie Briann (not gonna lie: that's a lot classier than we were anticipating), and despite earlier reports about the baby's weight, Maddie was a respectable 7 lbs., 11 ounces. • A Los Angeles judge threw out 2 of the 12 charges Rob Lowe's nanny filed against him. However, the sexual harassment charges against Lowe still stand. • Are the bunnies thinking about breaking out of Hef's lair? Holly Madison and Kendra Wilkinson were spotted out shopping for condos. Curious! [Us, People, TMZ]
Loose Lips
Kimora Lee Simmons is telling folks she's "kind of" engaged to uber hotness Djimon Honsou. Life in the fab lane indeed! • It's a GIRL for Jamie Lynn Spears. The wee lass is 6lb, 10 ounces and was born at 8:30 this morning. • What can you expect on the next season of the Hills? "Bathing suits, drama, romance and friendships!" Audrina Patridge tells Us. Damn, this girl is really not the brightest sweater in the drawer. OMG bathing suits! [ People, Us, Dlisted]
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Jamie Lynn Spears (Maybe) Gives Birth Today!
- Britney Spears is in Louisiana! Her 17-year-old sister Jamie Lynn should be delivering a baby super soon. [People]
- Jamie Lynn's induced labor could be happening RIGHT NOW! (Possible baby name: Cailynn, a composite of Casey and Lynn.) [ONTD]
- It could be a C-section, you guys. [DListed]
- Kevin Federline has a new gal and she might have an arrest record. [TMZ]
- Cynthia Nixon had breast augmentation? And Kristin Davis had varicose veins removed? Really? [Page Six]
- In an old voicemail Charlie Sheen left for Denise Richards, Charlie dropeed the N-word and a bunch of F-bombs. Sez Charles: "I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended, especially to Tony Todd, an African American, who was my best man at my first two weddings." Uh, yeah, that makes it all better. [E!]
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Why Barack Loves Michelle; Angelina Is Anxious Or Adopting
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where we parse tabloid punditry so you don't have to. This week marked a slight departure in tabloid fare, as Us featured potential President and First Lady Barack and Michelle Obama on the cover. Don't let it throw you; the other tabloids covered all the usual players, with In Touch, Ok! and Star devoted to Brangelina's baby farm and Life & Style hot on the Britney beat. Come with us as we tell tall tales of tabloid trauma, after the jump. More »
Midweek Madness
This Week In Tabloids: Jamie Lynn Is Jilted, Angelina Is Hormonal
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where we wade in murky magazine waters so you don't have to. This week has tabloid stalwarts the Jolie-Pitts featured on two covers: Shiloh's wee face is plastered all over Ok!, while Brad and Angie's alleged marriage woes are featured in In Touch. Us scrapes the bottom of the "celebrity" barrel by featuring a former Bachelor on their cover, while Katie Holmes is a "prisoner" according to Life & Style and Star is squawking about Jamie Lynn Spears getting jilted. We explore John Mayer's penis prowess and ponder Lauren Conrad's pain, after the jump. More »
Loose Lips
Is Mama Spears forcing Jamie Lynn into marriage with baby daddy Casey Aldridge? A family friend tells Star, "Jamie Lynn is having a shotgun wedding, and it's Lynne who is holding the shotgun!" • Kim Cattrall says that male actors are even more vain than the ladies. "I remember one actor who was doing his scene, he had to show a bit of his butt, right?," Cattrall recalls. "And he went to the gym, he hadn't eaten for weeks and he passed out on the set. (I thought,) 'You've got to be kidding!'" S-assy! • Hulk Hogan's son, Nick Bollea was sentenced to 8 months in prison for felony reckless driving today. The charges were stemming from an August 26 crash that left passenger John Graziano so seriously injured that he'll likely spend the rest of his life in a nursing home. Nick was also sentenced to 500 hours of community service, three years with his license revoked, and five years probation, during which time he is not allowed to drink. [Star, UPI, Us]
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: The Spears Sisters Reunite & Someone Sells The Pix
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we search for actual "news" in the celebrity weekly magazines. Another slow week in Hollywoodland means the covers are rehashed stories you've already heard. Again. Britney "wins" two covers because she went to her sister's baby shower and is thin. The other three covers feature Angelina Jolie, Aniston/Mayer and Montag/Conrad. Intern Sharon assists as we dig for a gold doubloon of gossip on the beachy shores of the weekly mags, after the jump. More »
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Lindsay Gets Ugly; Courtney Love Hospitalized; Jamie Lynn's Shower
- Lindsay Lohan will appear on SIX EPISODES of Ugly Betty, including the season finale. LL will play an old classmate of Betty's who is down on her luck. Naomi Campbell, Christian Siriano, Victoria Beckham and now Lindsay? It's official: Ugly Betty is the new Love Boat. [TMZ]
- Oooh, Lindsay's mugshot is being used in a drunk driving ad. [Reuters]
- Courtney Love was in the hospital over the weekend; homegirl has strep throat! Stay away. (Not that you needed a warning.) [Mirror]
- Thirty guests attended Jamie Lynn Spears's baby shower in Kentwood, LA on Saturday and big sis Britney was one of them. The ladies sat in a circle and opened gifts and nothing scandalous happened, yawn. [People]
- Britney hadn't been in her hometown since early 2007. Bet she misses some Southern cooking. [People]
- Miley Cyrus appeared at the Disney Channel Games concert Saturday night and thanked fans, saying: "Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you." Then she took her top off. Kidding! [People]
Loose Lips
Part one of Tom Cruise's 
Loose Lips
Beyonce's little sister, Solange, who gave birth to son Daniel when she was 18, has advice for fellow teen mom-to-be Jamie Lynn Spears: "I'm sure a lot of people perceived that I was gonna be a young, irresponsible mom. You just have to make the best decisions for you. You have to decide what's best for you. Who are we to say what's right and wrong for a person?" • Ashley Tisdale is ruining your childhood. The High School Musical ingénue is in talks to star in a remake of the 1989 classic Teen Witch. • Were you dying to see a live stream of Foxy Brown leaving Rikers Island? Your wish is granted! [Us, Just Jared, TMZ]
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Gerard Butler & Cameron Diaz: It's On
- Cameron Diaz and Gerard Butler: Three dates in ten days. Touchy-feely everywhere. It's like, so on. Yeah, this is the kind of news that makes us ache inside. You, too? [Mirror]
- Neither Beyoncé nor Jay-Z have confirmed that they were married. But on stage in North Carolina on Saturday, Mary J. Blige (who is on tour with Jay) shouted "Congratulations to my man, Jay-Z, and my girl B," during the show. If Mary says it, you gotta believe! [People]
- Oooh, apparently guests at the Z-Knowles wedding were asked to leave all cell phones, cameras and guns at home and were frisked at the door — yet three guns were left in an "amnesty box" outside Jay-Z's apartment. Dangerously in love! [Mirror]
- Pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears spent her 17th birthday eating at Ruby Tuesday and shopping at Wal-Mart with her fiancé. [People]
- "I work with underprivileged girls, mostly minorities, who hate themselves because they don't look like Lauren Conrad. Who the fuck wants to look like the girls on The Hills? They're complete nitwits. Success is about more than acquiring a Hermes bag." — Stacy London of What Not To Wear. [Rush & Molloy]
i thee dread
