• Katie Holmes went with a group of her friends to see New Moon in New York. An eyewitness reports: "Katie talked through all of New Moon. It was unbelievable – they talked nonstop about the movie and everything else."

• The source continues: "Some people wanted to tell them to be quiet, but when they realized who it was, they stayed silent. No one wanted to shush Katie." [Fox News]
• The 17-year-old Michigan girl who claimed a man bit her on the neck after a screening of New Moon on Friday has admitted that the alleged culprit was just kissing her on the neck and she was a "willing participant." She's facing criminal charges for filing a false police report. [TMZ]
• There are three versions of Entertainment Weekly's new cover, featuring either Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, or Taylor Lautner. [Pop Sugar]
• Anderson Cooper is reportedly moving in with his boyfriend of eight months, gay bar owner Ben Maisani. A friend says, "Anderson has found his 'Mr. Right' in Ben. Their relationship is so solid they want to move in together, and they've been looking at Manhattan real estate." [National Enquirer]
• The Swiss court on Roman Polanski's release: "The 76-year-old appellant is married and the father of two minors... It can be assumed that as a responsible father he will, especially in view of his advanced age, attach greater importance to the financial security of his family than a younger person." His previous bail offer of his home as collateral was rejected and the court demanded money instead. Peter Cosandey, a former Zurich prosecutor, said it's unusual for a non-resident to be granted bail, but "cash is king." [AP]
• The Jackson family had an early Thanksgiving dinner on Tuesday. "That's really, really important because we're a family and throughout the years, the managers, the agents and Hollywood have tried to come between that," Jermaine Jackson said. "What they don't know is we were together before we came out here and we're going to continue to be together." [CNN]
• Now that Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman have split, he won't be spending Thanksgiving with her family. He can't visit his kids either, because it's Kate's day. "I won't be home," says Jon. "I'm going to my grandma's." [Us]
• Kim Kardashian posted a list of the 10 things she's most thankful for including her family, friends, fans, "Lamar for making Khloe the happiest girl in the world" and "My glam squad for always making me fabulous!" [Us]
• Courtney Love took her Hole bandmates to a strip club yesterday. "Courtney Love brought in a group of guys who all looked like Keith Richards, some of whom were in her band. They arrived about 12:30," a source reports. "She was saying she used to be a stripper and appreciated what the girls do. Courtney left in a limo with a female friend after 45 minutes, leaving the band to enjoy themselves." [N.Y. Post]
• Oprah Winfrey's former rival Phil Donahue says he understands why she wants to retire. "She's a remarkable story," he said, "But you're on air every day. Eventually you think, 'do people really want to hear me talk anymore?'" [N.Y. Post]
• In an email sent to Oprah.com subscribers, she writes: "Fifteen years ago, I wrote in my journal that one day I would create a television network, as I always felt my show was just the beginning of what the future could hold." Also, the Post is calling her "Prah" now, because it's just too difficult to type that "O." [N.Y. Post]
• Fergie experienced Daniel Day-Lewis' method acting while filming Nine. She says: "Daniel is very charming. I'd go into my dressing room, and I'd find this little note. I'd open it, and it would be Guido's stationary. He would write me little notes as Guido. They were very cute and very charming." [Popeater]
• The Real Housewives of New York were frolicking on the beach in St. John over the weekend, where they're filming an upcoming episode. [N.Y. Post]
• Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig raised $7,000 for the charity Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS when they sold the sweaty vests they were wearing after a performance of A Steady Rain. One female audience member yelled, "How much for the pants?" to which Hugh responded: "By pants, we are talking about the trousers right?" [The Star]
• "I didn't fit in in high school and I felt like a freak," says Lady Gaga. "So I like to create this atmosphere for my fans where they feel like they have a freak in me to hang out with and they don't feel alone." [People]
• Kelly Osbourne says she's not upset that Donny Osmond won DWTS "Everyone kept coming up to me and saying, 'Are you okay? Are you okay?'" she said. "And I'm like, 'I never fucking thought I was going to win anyway!'" [Us]
• Levi Johnston has rethought his position on joining DWTS. "I think if my phone were to ring right now, I would probably say yes," he said. "Dancing isn't really my thing but I think I could do it... I mean, I'm pretty athletic so I think I could do just about anything." [ET]
• Kim Cattrall is posing nude to raise money to keep the painting "Diana and Callisto" by Titian in Britain's National Gallery and prevent it from being sold to a private foreign bidder. [Contact Music]
• Good Morning America cancelled a scheduled Adam Lambert appearance this morning, so he appeared on CBS's Early Show instead, along with the man he made out with at the AMAs. [TMZ]
• Liza Minnelli says the greatest moment in her career is yet to come. "I'm a Minnelli, so there's always something to do," she said. "I'll think of something. I always do." [Reuters]
• T.I. and Lil Wayne's daughters have joined with two other girls ages 11 to 13 to form the group OMG Girlz, which is managed by T.I.'s fiancée, Tameka 'Tiny' Cottle. [MTV]
• Sylvester Stallone is facing charges after he was photographed this weekend driving his Mustang with two little girls sharing one seat belt in the passenger seat. [Daily Express]
• John Mayer's new album Battle Studies topped the Billboard chart this week with 286,000 copies sold. [N.Y.T.]
• Erik Estavillo, who is suing the makers of World of Warcraft for creating a virtual environment that he says has given him various emotional problems, has subpoenaed Depeche Mode founder Martin Lee Gore because "he himself has been known to be sad, lonely, and alienated as can be seen in the songs he writes," and Winona Ryder because she'll be able to "explain the significance of alienation in Catcher in the Rye and will also testify to how alienation in the book can tie to alienation in real live/video games such as World of Warcraft." [Game Politics]
• James McAvoy usually won't do films with his wife Anne-Marie Duff, but he made an exception for The Last Station. He said, "We've been offered a hell of a lot of parts playing opposite each other in films and TV and we just turn them down. If you do work together you put yourself up, you make yourself a target and you make your relationship a target and all of that. We're very keen not to do that. But in The Last Station we don't play opposite each other hardly at all. It was nice to spend those two months together rather than spending those two months apart, while she's off somewhere doing God knows what and I'm off doing God knows what. So it was fine. It was quite easy with this one." [Daily Express]
• Viggo Mortensen says his role in The Road was difficult physically. "We had good makeup and all that, but because it was such a tough journey physically and emotionally, as I gradually got closer to [the character], I literally was getting weaker and weaker and it took more energy to just focus — which was right. So it was this gradual decline into character that in some part was real. I mean, I was pretty beat by the end, and so was Kodi. And it shows. There were things that are on screen that are beyond whatever we prepared." [Inside Movies]
• "I was playing truth or dare when I had my first kiss," says Kellan Lutz. "I was probably 7. I learned to hold the girl and I won as best kisser. They picked me because I actually held the girls when I kissed them. I loved kissing them because they had flavored lip glosses on, which was great." [People]
• "Nothing surprises me in terms of reviews," says New Moon director Chris Weitz. "Having been a reviewer myself, there are only two ways to spin this story. You can either be the one guy who says this is a great movie, or more likely, take a more jaundiced view of the whole thing. And given the media blitz that has accompanied New Moon, it's rather unsurprising. I do wish there was more appreciation for cinematographer Javier Aguirresarobe. I think he's a genius, and I think he made something beautiful." [Us]
• "I have (my Oscar) in my house in Spain and I still haven't found the right place for it. But for the first month when I won I was so excited about it, I took it everywhere with me. I took it — this is true — I even took it to the beach one day and put it under a towel." — Penelope Cruz [UPI]

• Nene of Real Housewives Of Atlanta has written an autobiography called Never Make The Same Mistake Twice. She gets real snippy about her "friend" Kim Zolciak, saying:

"I'm not sure if she's been clinically diagnosed, but I'm convinced that if she were to lie down on a doctor's couch, a psychiatrist could surmise within minutes that Kim is a wack job. [Kim] without question [is] the most superficial person I have ever come across in my life. If Kim doesn't have labels and nice cars and an expensive home, she will literally die ... gag me with two spoons." [Gatecrasher]

• Unsolicited uterus update: Celine Dion is pregnant with her second child, and this report states that she "conceived with the help of a team of fertility doctors." [Montreal Gazette]
• Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart went to a Kings Of Leon show and nuzzled, cuddled, and just generally had some close contact. All together now: ZOMG Twilight is real. [MSNBC]
• The Brad-Pitt-is-a-pot-connoisseur rumors persist; this time Quentin Taratino claims Pitt pulled out a brick of hash when they were in France to discuss making Inglourious Basterds. [Perez]
• So you know how Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart are naked on video with another chick? Dane and Gayheart are planning to sue. [TMZ]
• Eric Dane's lawyer says: "Although the participants are nude, the tape is not a 'sex tape.'" [People]
• Eric Dane and Kari Ann Peniche, the third woman on the video, both say they did not have sex with each other. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan didn't look happy to see her father at an event Saturday night. When questioned about it, she said: "I'm closer to my mother." And! Michael Lohan has backed off of his intense criticism of Samantha Ronson: "I was misled by people who had their own agenda," he says. "I was wrong and I'm very sorry. I wish the best for them." [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman has some pretty choice quotes in this E! interview. She says: "I have lost my happiness through this all… I've been the sacrificial lamb in this situation." And! She calls TLC "the lying channel." On Kate Major: "Cuckoo, cuckoo," She also says: "It's a dirty, dirty world. Bamboozling, this world. I didn't know any of this would happen. If I wanted fame, don't you think I would be out all the time? I stay in my house. I've been staying home with my parents because I feel safe there." [E!]
• Paula Abdul is in "talks" about returning to American Idol. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Reports that Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron are engaged: Not true. [Mirror]
• Blair Waldorf Leighton Meester seen dancing on a table. [Page Six]
• Ugly Betty cutie Mark Indelicato, 15 (he plays Justin) showed designer Carolina Herrera some sketches for a denim line he's planning to create during a tour of her showroom. She offered him an internship on the spot. [Gatecrasher]
• The creepy character charged with attempting to stalk Miley Cyrus — and who told a cop he was "secretly engaged" to marry her — will be in court today. [AP]
• Amy Winehouse is packing up the weavehive and heading to Miami, where she'll finally finish her third album. If the U.S. lets her in, that is. [The Sun]
• Uh-oh: Katherine Jackson is thinking about filing a wrongful death suit concerning son Michael Jackson. Target of the lawsuit? Dr. Conrad Murray. [TMZ]
• "Heath Ledger's Joker 'exacerbates stereotypes about mental health'…
  Heath Ledger's Oscar-winning depiction of the Joker in the latest Batman film gives the public the wrong impression of people with mental health problems, charities have warned." [Telegraph]
• During a U2 concert, Bono called his Bosnian passport one of his most treasured possessions. He got it in 1997 when U2 performed in Sarajevo. Now Bosnia's Council of Ministers would like to take it away. [Telegraph]
• Alaskans are mad at Jewel for canceling shows years ago. She's scheduled to perform there this week, but some residents are holding a grudge, saying she betrayed her state. [AP]
• James McAvoy will star in I'm With Cancer, alongside Seth Rogen, who is producing. [Variety]
• Rapper Bow Wow: officially out of retirement; officially joined the Cash Money record label, home of Lil' Wayne. [Reuters]
• John Cleese's divorce: £12 million settlement. [Telegraph]
• Paul Hogan made a movie and didn't pay his extras, say the extras. [News.com.au]
• Whatshisname wants Whatshername not to use the kids against him. [The Sun]
• Whatshername was voted most annoying celebrity Twitter user. [The Sun]
• "There are many times where even I, at certain points in the evening, after a few drinks, can't pronounce my own surname." — Milla Jovovich. [Daily Express]
• "I love acting with men. I tend to gravitate toward roles in movies where I get to be the only girl." — Zoe Saldana, who appeared in Star Trek and will be in James Cameron's Avatar. [Vanity Fair]
• "Yes, I was a stripper — let the judgments ensue. I'm not ashamed. What difference does it make if I danced or not? Is the sun going to stop shining? Is my past taking food out of your mouth? My son was in private school, his father wasn't chipping in for pull-ups or food, I had no job and no money coming in, the rent was past due, and the super told me and my roommate that our condo owner was about to put us out. It was about survival." — Nene, of Real Housewives Of Atlanta. [Gatecrasher]

• Kiefer Sutherland may be looking at a minor assault charge in NYC for headbutting designer Jack McCollough. The real problem?

He may have violated the probation of his L.A. DUI conviction. If so, it's back to the slammer. [People]

• According to this report, Kiefer Sutherland will surrender today and be charged with with third-degree assault for his "attack" on Jack McCollough. [NY Daily News, TMZ, E!]
• Kiefer will get a desk ticket for the headbutt — meaning he won't be jailed and he's free to travel. [NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Donald Trump intends to make a decision about Miss California Carrie Prejean very soon; additionally, the guy from the website which has been releasing "controversial" photos of her says he has more, and he intends to post them. [E!]
• The Carrie Prejean semi-nude pictures will "roll out" slowly. [CNN]
• Chris Brown's lawyer, Mark Geragos, has filed legal papers asking the LAPD to state how the picture of Rihanna was leaked to TMZ. If there was misconduct by law enforcement, Geragos will file a motion to have the case dismissed. [TMZ]
• Oprah wrote her Time 100 essay about Michelle Obama on her BlackBerry: "And then I went to hit the wrong button and the whole thing deleted! I went to hit 'Save' and instead I hit ... 'Oh my God! Oh my God! It's gone!' That ever happened to you? And then you can't remember - not one sentence you wrote." What did she do? "I couldn't even think for two days… I couldn't even, like, think of a sentence. I stared at the BlackBerry, then I hit every button trying to make it come back. I hit 'Options.' I did everything!" Then she started over. [New York Mag, Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay and Sam: Romantic relapse? A source says Sam might take LL back. They've been texting and "having visits." But another source says: "Lindsay plays stupid mind games saying she is being pursued by major celebrity actors. She has a lot of free time to play all these childish games. Sam knows in her head, life is truly better off without Lindsay." [People]
• This paper claims that Lindsay Lohan "chased her ex-lover across LA yesterday before finally tracking her down at 2am and demanding one of those horrible late-night discussions." [Daily Mail]
• Steve Zahn had to touch Jennifer Aniston's ass for the new flick, The Management, and says: "We had to do it so many times. It's so weird, very awkward and bizarre. [But] she's a pro, a gifted actor, humble, modest, a genuinely kind person. She has no agenda. She's just a really beautiful person." So wait: she's not desperate and lonely, sobbing over an empty uterus? Huh. [People]
• Jennifer Aniston says if there's gonna be a Friends movie, "they should hurry up." [Mirror]
• Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper: Flirting??!?!?!?! [Page Six]
• In the new Marie Claire, Beyoncé says that when she was singing for the Obamas in January, she was almost overcome: "I had to tell myself, 'They asked you to do this. You have to do a great job. This is their history. Calm down. Calm down… I barely made it. Literally seconds before the song started, I was crying like a 5-year-old." [People]
• In this video, some dude who works security at a Pennsylvania motel says Jon Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8 shows up frequently and was seen "romantically kissing" a woman who was not his wife. [Radar Online]
• "Twilight fans fell in love with Robert Pattinson as a vampire who makes girls swoon. But in Little Ashes, which opens on Friday, the actor explores a relationship that could reshape his heartthrob image." No one wants you to forget that he sexes a dude in this flick. No one. [Reuters>]
• Another day, another Michael Jackson lawsuit; this one involves a former publicist who claims, "Mr. Jackson has elected not to honor the financial obligations of our contractual relationship." She wants $44 million. [TMZ, Reuters]
• Reese Witherspoon is thought to be connected to a man named John Witherspoon, who left Scotland in 1768 and went on to witness the signing of the Declaration of Independence. A BBC series, A History Of Scotland, will tell his story. [Daily Express]
• Guess who's started working out with Tracy Anderson — Gwyneth and Madonna's trainer? Emma Thompson. [Daily Express]
• Are cops in Massachusetts targeting celebs in Massachusetts? What's with all the searches on Tom Brady and Matt Damon? [E!]
• Dr. Phil has fired 15 members of his staff. "It was a bloodbath… People who had worked together for years suddenly were unemployed," says a source. Ouch! Someone call Oprah. [Perez]
• WTF headline of the day: "When Harry Met Tranny." (Daniel Radcliffe had dinner with a drag queen.) [The Sun]
• JJ Abrams says of the original TV series Star Trek: "I remember appreciating it, but feeling like I didn't get it." He was not a Trekkie! "I had no idea there had been 10 movies! I still haven't seen them all." [Guardian]
• Speaking of Trek, Zachary Quinto couldn't do Vulcan fingers while filming and JJ Abrams had to glue his fingers together. [Page Six]
• Director Robert Rodriguez was working on an adaptation of Barbarella — with Rose McGowan playing the Jane Fonda role, naturally — but the project is now dead. No orgasmatron! [MTV]
• Jennifer Aniston, Holly Hunter, Elizabeth Banks, Catherine Hardwicke and cinematographer Petra Korner will be honored at the 2009 Crystal + Lucy Awards, presented by Women in Film. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Katie Holmes will star in a thriller called Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, scripted by Guillermo del Toro. Xenu knows she could use a hit flick. [Variety]
• Robert De Niro and Edward Norton will star in an indie psychological thriller Stone, about a a correctional officer (De Niro) who is seduced by the wife of a convicted arsonist (Norton) up for parole. [Variety]
• Susan Boyle is now in the top 5 list of most watched viral videos, right under Soulja Boy and something called Achmed the Dead Terrorist. [NY Daily News]
• Megan Fox wants to be like George Clooney: "He's sarcastic, and he has a different girlfriend constantly. It's considered charismatic. He's like this James Bond, sexy dude. The older he gets, the better he gets. It's a double standard. To be outspoken, or different at all, is a problem for women. As soon as you curse or, God forbid, make some sort of sexual reference that's a joke, you're (labelled a party girl). They don't do that with men, so I feel it would be a lot easier." [Mirror]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate is a "tattooed bisexual." The horrors. [The Sun]
• Liz Hurley thinks people look sexier in the country than in the city. Also, she likes to have sex on sheepskin rugs in front of fireplaces. [Daily Mail]
• In 2000, Jemima Khan's plane was hijacked; she says her hair turned white after the incident and she's had to dye it ever since. [Daily Express]
• A new biography reveals that Stephen King "spent most of the Eighties on an extended drug and alcohol binge which so fogged his mind that even today he cannot remember working on many of the books he wrote during that period." [Daily Mail]
• Ryan O'Neal says Farrah Fawcett has "lost her famous hair" from battling cancer. [Daily Express]
• Ryan O'Neal also says: "It's a love story. I just don't know how to play this one. I won't know this world without her." [People]
• Trent Reznor is pissed at Apple, because a Nine Inch Nails iPhone app was rejected for having 'objectionable content." [NY Daily News]
• RIP Stanley Tucci's wife, Kate. [Page Six]
• Olympic silver medalist Sasha Cohen is returning to competitive figure skating. Will we see her in Vancouver for the winter Olympics? [AP]
• Stephanie Tanner Jodie Sweetin is being sued for not paying her Home Owner's Association fees. How rude! [Perez]
• James McAvoy, Elizabeth Banks, Laura Linney and Anna Friel will star in The Details, a flick about a a couple who discover an infestation of raccoons in their back yard. [Variety]
• Rare Marilyn Monroe photographs for sale — on eBay. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which film director could give Robert Pattinson a run for his money in the odor department? The big-time movie man smelled so badly during a recent shoot that even his actors couldn't stand to be around him!" [Gatecrasher]
• "Would I run for public office? A delegation of Democrats from Ohio asked me if I wanted to run for a Senate seat in 2004, and I said it was a tempting offer, but no. We already had an old actor in national politics, and it didn't work out so well. He shall remain nameless." — Martin Sheen. [Mirror]
• "The rumours aren't true. We aren't moving. So many people come up to me and say 'I hear you're moving.' We love America. We've been very happy here." — Victoria Beckham. [Mirror]
• "I've never changed my name officially. I never have and I never will. In my heart, I am still Ramon. I love the name. I would never give it up." — Martin Sheen. [Mirror]
• "I'd like to see Benson and Stabler get together...but I can't let that happen. Mariska [Hargitay] and I have been a wonderful, solid married couple now for 10 years-we see each other more than our families. It's just nice to get a different dynamic in there every once in a while." — Chris Meloni. [E!]
• "I'm looking for an encyclopaedia and a dictionary. A bit of the Boy Scouts Handbook. A person who is conscientious about the trail he leaves behind him. I'm attracted to intelligence and creativity and passion — and not necessarily the romantic kind. I want to learn from someone who is greedy for information and light and laughter and the whole world." — Renée Zellweger, on what she looks for in a man. [Mirror via Glamour]
• "We know the people whose lives are on the line-those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender-will be there. But we need everyone there. Especially straight people." — Charlize Theron, who is encouraging Californians to attend a Meet In The Middle For Equality rally in Fresno. [E!]
• "I'm a big fan of Tyra's! She is sexy. I mean, I don't really get obsessed with anyone, but Tyra is definitely hot." — Idris Elba. [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm not fiddling about with myself. We're in this awful youth-driven thing now where everybody needs to look 30 at 60 . This is the law of diminishing returns. The trick is to age honestly and gracefully and make it look great so that everyone looks forward to it." — Emma Thompson. [Daily Express]

NPR:

Even at their bloodiest, though, those directors never sent their characters through the abbatoir the way Wanted does. As part of his training, Wesley gets pummeled mercilessly — and the existence of the Fraternity's miraculous "recovery room" doesn't make the damage any easier to watch.

Bekmambetov sometimes shows evidence of a lighter touch, as in the scene where a furious Wesley smashes a computer keyboard and the now-detached keys spell out a taunting message as they hurtle through the air.

Too bad the director doesn't show a similar irreverence toward such inane plot devices as "the loom of fate." Night Watch and Day Watch had ludicrous elements of their own, but those movies weren't nearly as into their own nonsense as Wanted is.

Los Angeles Times:

In a movie that musters barely more than a dozen speaking parts, there are heroes and there is cannon fodder. In a thrilling face-to-face battle that sends a passenger train plummeting into a gorge, there's not even a pause to acknowledge the collateral damage of the duel between supermen. Bekmambetov savors the way a target's forehead explodes as a bullet burrows through from the back, but the slaughter of innocents fails to hold his interest.

As much fun as it is to watch Bekmambetov play with his action figures, the movie would be more engaging if he ever got under their polyurethane skin. McAvoy tries mightily to bridge the gap between wheezy nebbish and eager assassin, but there's nothing pushing him forward beyond the movie's pronounced contempt for his former life. In "Wanted's" cosmos, there are wolves and there are sheep, and the sheep are not even worth pitying.

New York Sun:

The movie has its moments, one or two good jokes, and a satisfactory number of exploding heads, but, whatever its director's aspirations, it fails to convey that sense of another world — ours but not quite — that ought to be key to any comic book adaptation. A film of this type should be a magic carpet ride, exhilarating and impossible. "Wanted," by contrast, is as functional as a trip on the crosstown bus, complete with stops, starts, and periods of boredom.

Salon:

That's why Wesley's escape from mundane life is so cathartic for us, the audience. McAvoy is a young actor who has already proved himself in several radically different roles, among them a clueless young doctor in "The Last King of Scotland" and a tragic romantic hero in "Atonement," as well as, of course, a faun in a jaunty red scarf. Here, he's an Everyman with a shot at finally being somebody. Watching Wesley imitate, or attempt to imitate, Fox's leapfrog flips and gazelle-like grand jetés (on top of a moving train, no less), is freeing for us, too. "Wanted" has a sense of humor about itself — a sick one — and a pulse, albeit one that beats deep beneath the corpselike coldness of its surface. But McAvoy, jittery and alive, is its central nervous system. He feels it where it hurts.

Entertainment Weekly:

Wanted is kind of unintelligible and idiotic. Also kind of nasty and brutish. And also undeniably kind of fun, especially when Angelina Jolie, as an assassin (assassiness? assassinix?) appropriately named Fox, narrows her cat eyes, sets her lush mouth, flashes an Illiad's worth of tattooed text on her impossible bod, and brandishes firearms.

Wired:

Orchestrating the picture's gut-thumping action is Russian director Timur Bekmambetov (the Night Watch horror trilogy). He goes to the well a few times too many with his beloved slo-mo sequences, but Bekmambetov's noir heart is in the right place. Live-action stunt work dominates CGI effects in Wanted: Rats attack, cars vault through space with unearthly grace, shooters bend their bullets' trajectories, trains fall into gorges with a satisfying crunch and faces get pummeled in the best Fight Club tradition.

The New Republic:

Any film that features Angelina Jolie as an international assassin is, pretty much by definition, a film that glamorizes violence. But Wanted, the Hollywood debut of Kazakh-Russian director Timur Bekmambetov, does more than glamorize. It glorifies. It fetishizes. It consecrates. The crunch of bone against bone, the rasp of blade through flesh, and (especially) the planting of bullet in forehead such that it may emerge as a crimson bloom out the back of the skull—the movie's commitment to the staging of such traumas is so complete that they almost seem justified on aesthetic grounds alone.

Wanted is in many ways a deplorable film, but it is also—and, depending upon your perspective, this is either a good or a bad thing—an immensely stylish, effective one. More than any film since The Matrix, it is a ballet of brutality. But unlike Keanu's excellent adventure, which tarted itself up with mystical mumbo jumbo and a sci-fi conceit (and made sure most of its victims were computer simulations), Wanted is blunt and unapologetic. I don't believe I've ever seen a movie that advertised itself more plainly as an escapist fantasy for masculine impotence.

The New York Times:

What does turn up looks familiar — the slowed bullets, the air that ripples like water, an underground group, here called the Fraternity — especially if you’ve seen “The Matrix.” Although Mr. Bekmambetov and his team take plenty of cues from that film, they have tried to distinguish their dystopian nightmare by borrowing from even farther afield. To that end the Fraternity practices its murderous skills on pig carcasses (much as Daniel Day-Lewis does in “Gangs of New York”) while bunkered in a sprawling factory (that looks like Hogwarts). I’m pretty sure I saw the fabulous recovery room — a concrete spa filled with sunken tubs and lighted candles where Fraternity members go for restorative soaks after a hard day of carnage — in a layout in Vogue.

TIME:

As if in instant celebration of the Supreme Court's ruling on a citizen's right to bear arms — and of the newly articulated "individual right to possess and carry weapons in case of confrontation" — the burly new fantasy Wanted reveals the magic that can blossom when you put a gun in the hand of a meek wage slave and tell him he was born to be a righteous killer. Directed at a pitch of gritty giddiness by the Kazakhstan-born Timur Bekmambetov, who did the DVD faves Night Watch and Day Watch, this hard-R splatter-fest about a team of sanctified assassins is also the summer's zazziest action movie.

'Wanted' opens today, nationwide.

[Los Angeles, June 19. Image via Splash.]

[Images via Splash.]

• Angelina Jolie confirms: She is having twins. You knew that, right? Anyway an exclusive interview scored by NBC's Today show was lifted by NBC's Access Hollywood and now NBC producers are pissed at each other. [Page Six]
  
• It was Jack Black who spilled the beans about Angie's twins, actually. [People]
  
• Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo might still be together. Unfortunately, that's not as interesting as if they were broken up. [E!]
  
• Um, more Britney pregnancy rumors. I'm scared. Someone hold me. [Mirror]
  
• Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty kissing. This is one of those pictures where obviously the buss was on the cheek but it kind of looks like they were heading for the lips. In any case, the paper calls them a "gruesome twosome." [Mirror]
  
• To be honest, Pete's got something weird on his lip and face. It is kind of gruesome. [The Sun]
  
• Meanwhile, Blake Incarcerated says Amy Winehouse will die without him, but he doesn't want to go back to her when he gets out of jail because she is doing drugs. [News.com.au]

• Madonna's court adoption ruling has been delayed. The judge needs to review some paperwork. [Reuters]
• Mariah Carey's ex-boyfriend, producer Mark Sudack, whom she was with for almost four years, is "shattered" that MC is suddenly married to someone else. He and Mariah just broke up in the beginning of 2008. [MSNBC]
• Fantasia was a "trainwreck" on American Idol. [Perez Hilton]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs is looking for sponsors for his Cannes yacht party. Any takers? [Mirror]
• Actress Michelle Trachtenberg (Buffy, Gossip Girl) fainted in the middle of a downtown NYC party. But! Homegirl rallied and stayed out the rest of the night. That's how Georgina Sparks would do it! [Page Six]
• Rumor has it Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz will be getting married this weekend in a seven-figure ceremony. Friends and family were notified via Evites, haha. The good news is they were apparently made for each other; a source says: "Ashlee is so needy, she just hangs all over Pete. But he loves it. He's always had a thing for vulnerable girls...They complete each other." [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which young actress may be a little too much like her TV character? At a wrap party for her show, the tween got totaled at the bar and had to crawl into a waiting taxi." [Rush & Molloy]
• Anne Heche's show, Men In Trees, was canceled and now she can't afford to pay child and spousal support. Unemployment sucks. [People]
• Halle Berry has a new diamond ring! On her ring finger. But it's not from her baby daddy. She bought it for herself. So very modern. [People]
• Star Jones is "sexy, single and heating up the Cannes Film Festival." Wait, what? [ET]
• The Season 3 finale of Flavor of Love is the show's finale episode. Ever. It's the end of the series. Well, we'll always have Under One Roof. Ugh. [UPI]
• A contestant on Australia's Next Top Model came close to a nervous breakdown from being bullied by the other girls in the house. [News.au.com]
• Hugh Grant, Liz Hurley and her husband Arun Nayar won £58,000 in damages for invasion of privacy over photographs taken of them on holiday. That's enough cash for another trip! [BBC News]
• Superbad star Jonah Hill in a modern-day 21 Jump Street? Dude is no Johnny Depp. Or Peter DeLuise, for that matter. [Variety]
• A hybrid car was flown from Japan to Paul McCartney in London and critics are saying that any environmental benefits from using the car would be undermined by its mode of delivery. Sigh. [Guardian]
• Sean Penn lit up two cigarettes at the Cannes Film Festival, in violation on French laws against smoking in public buildings. Badass! [USA Today]
• The ladies of Sex And The City are on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, because they have not had enough publicity lately. [Just Jared]
• Oprah's dead dogs, commemorated in sculpture and sitting on her head. [TMZ]
• PETA still hates Mary-Kate Olsen. [Peta2]
• James McAvoy in Mean magazine: Hot. [ONTD]
• "I put on 40 pounds with Moses. And I found it really hard to loose the last 20 pounds. I didn't mind having the big boobs. But it was the stomach roll, the back fat, and the post-pregnant butt. And it was so hard to get rid of." — Gwyneth Paltrow. [People]
• "Samantha, she's Aphrodite. She loves them and leaves them. She has no guilt about her desires. If I'm associated with sexuality until the day I die I'll be happy — because I intend to be sexual until the day I die." — Kim Cattrall on her Sex And The City character. [The Sun]
• "When I see pictures [of myself] I do sometimes think, 'You miserable cow!'" — Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. [Mirror]

• While Justin Timberlake was working with Madonna on her album, Madge offered JT a B-12 shot. "She proceeds to pull a Ziploc bag of B-12 syringes out [of her purse] and says, 'Drop 'em.' I don't know what you say to that, so I immediately dropped my pants," Justin says. "She gave me a shot in my ass and looks at me and says, 'Nice top shelf.' That was one of the greatest days of my life." [People]
  
• Last night, Madonna was been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Music. Makes the people. Come together. Music makes the bourgeoisie and the rebel. [Mirror]
  
• A source calls Lindsay Lohan's new friends "leeches." Maybe LL is used to that? CoughmommyDinacoughcough? [Page Six]
  
• Dina Lohan on her show, Living Lohan, which begins shooting on the 16th and will air around Memorial Day on E!: "Be nice to us." [Gatecrasher]
  
• "I may be Eccentric, i certainly speak my mind and am slow to put out a record i need to mean the world to ME, and im sure i am quite Nuerotic [sic] but 'Bi Polar'. Thats just slander." — Courtney Love. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Yeah, yeah, we know. Patricia Heaton has no belly button. [TMZ]

• On her MySpace page, Brooke Hogan speaks out against her friend who had a fling with her father, Hulk Hogan: "I think she shoulda thought about what kinda press she was gonna get when she slept with her best friend's famous father . . . I think we're all seeing just exactly how karma works Christiane. Nothing you say will ever put my family back together." [Page Six]
• Superbad star Jonah Hill: Smokes his weed out of an apple bong. Just like Charlize! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which 8-year-old son of a daytime TV personality told gossip reporters on the red carpet that he had recently come down from bed to find his famous mom drinking margaritas on the terrace? 'She told me she was going to do the dishes, but she lied to me!' the tyke complained earnestly." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which clean-cut pop star is a jerk behind closed doors? When a top model accidentally sat on his jacket at a recording studio, the warbler sprinted over and demanded she move immediately." [Rush & Molloy]
• Britney's lawyers are trying to get Kevin Federline to pay his own legal bills; K-Fed pleads poverty — despite recently tipping a waitress $2000 on a $365 bill. Being a bad-ass baby daddy is expensive! [Rush & Molloy]
• Meanwhile, Britney may get some financial independence back: A judge ruled that Dad Jamie can give her a debit card that has a $1500 per week limit on it. [TMZ]
• American Idol alum Sanjaya appeared at a Bat Mitzvah on Long Island and sang two songs — for free. Oy. [TMZ]
• Jessica Simpson does not have her pricey hairdresser with her in Kuwait; she flew a commercial airline and not a private jet, and she is staying in the barracks. "She has significantly scaled back her entourage," he rep says. Just so you know. [People]
• Project Runway winner Christian Siriano says the Saturday Night Live skit in which Amy Poehler does an impression of him was "SO FUNNY. The hair was absolutely perfect. I don't think I could have done it better myself. It was fierce!" [People]
• Mark Ronson will notbe DJing Suri Cruise's second birthday party. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." [ONTD]
• Aww! Emma Watson, aka Hermione Granger, has a new boyfriend. "We've only been going out together for three weeks, but it's brilliant at the moment." [Mirror]
• Uh, this paper claims Jennifer Aniston has dumped her man, Brian Bouma, a crew member on a film she was working on. Did you even know they were seeing each other? Wasn't she with Jason Lewis? [Mirror]
• James McAvoy says Angelina Jolie was rough with him in their new film, Wanted: "She kicked seven colors of poo out of me but, thankfully, I'm still in one piece." [Mirror]
• "Cheeky" photographs of Gisele Bundchen and Kate Moss are being auctioned off. And by cheeky we mean naked. [The Sun]
• HBO has ordered 13 episodes of The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, a show based on the best-selling books. Singer Jill Scott stars! [Concrete Loop]
• Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch is in ruins. The Ferris wheel has rusted, the mansion has broken windows and the paint is peeling. The perfect set for a horror film! [The Sun]
• Rosie O'Donnell and Kathy Griffin made a video where they talk about Barbara Walters, lube, Helen Mirren, etc. [Perez Hilton]
• Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis is free. He's out of a Nevada jail and headed to Florida, where he'll face charges related to filming underaged girls. [USA Today]
• Janet Jackson is co-writing a book about her journey as an "emotional eater." Um, yay? [Reuters]
• Tori Spelling has a book, too! It's called Stori Telling, of course. She talks about her nose job, boob job, a passionless marriage and trouble with her mother. Also: When her dad died, she only got $800,000 of his estimated $500 million fortune. [USA Today]
• Van Halen continues to postpone shows as Eddie Van Halen continues to undergo tests for an undislosed medical condition. [Reuters]
• Gene Simmons: Bald. [Seriously OMG WTF]

• Oscar winner Marion Cotillard has conspiracy theories! She questions the attack on the World Trade Center towers: "We see other towers of the same kind being hit by planes. There was a tower, I believe it was in Spain, which burned for 24 hours. It never collapsed. None of these towers collapsed. And there (in New York), in a few minutes, the whole thing collapsed." Plus! She doubts Neil Armstrong! "Did a man really walk on the moon? I saw plenty of documentaries on it, and I really wondered," she says. "I don't believe all they tell me, that's for sure." [Variety]
  
• Are Britney and Adnan Ghalin dunzo? Did she throw his iPhone into the pool after finding "saucy" texts from another woman? [The Sun]
  
• Jennifer Lopez has indeed, as previously reported, named her twins Max and Emme. A reader points out that those were the names of the kids in the cartoon Dragon Tales. WTF? [CNN, YouTube]
  
• Colin Farrell is hooked on Russian steam baths. "There's something very basic about rubbing honey on your skin and going steaming with a bunch of strange Russian men," he says. Well, it's healthier than drugs and alcohol, for sure. [UPI]

• Jamie Lynn Spears' unborn kid is prolly a boy. Hopefully we won't be named Casey Lynn. [MSNBC]
• A new photography show features the tattoos of Lindsay Lohan. Highbrow! [Page Six]
• Family drama! Atonement star James McAvoy hasn't spoken to his father, James McAvoy Senior, in 21 years. And his 18-year-old half-brother, Donald, is in the clink for stabbing a man eight times. [Daily Mail]
• Simon Cowell doesn't believe in marriage, for financial reasons. "The truth is that you get married and in a year or two they clean you out! We have contracts with artists that are 120 pages long and last five years. Then you go into marriage with no contract and the laws are a thousand years old." [Mirror]
• Oh, and Simon was offered a million dollar deal to be the "face" of Viagra. His response: "Sorry, but that has to be a fucking insult." [The Sun]
• What??? A plot to kill Mick Jagger??? Oh... In 1969. [USA Today]
• Aussie model Gemma Ward, who was linked to Heath Ledger, says, "He told me to always be a punk and 'stand up for yourself.'" [Sydney Morning Herald]
• One of Paris Hilton's dogs is "mating" with the Yorkie of Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson. [Gatecrasher]
• While filming The Other Boleyn Girl, Scarlett Johansson was voted the world's sexiest woman by a men's mag. Some of the crew said she looked more like a grungy teenager; Scarlett heard and "lost her temper." Who could blame her? [UPI]
• Meanwhile, Scarlett is offering herself up on eBay; a night with her is being auctioned off for Oxfam. [Mirror]
• Paris Hilton has been seen hanging out with a "bearded guru." [Mirror]
• The spirit guide blessed a necklace Paris was wearing and then advised her to give it away, so some chick at Urth Cafe was the lucky recipient. [TMZ]
• Blind item! "Which single-ish A-list actor is back to his old ways since splitting with his wife? He was seen handing off a suspicious-looking vial to a hard-partying TV thesp who is about to hit the big screen." [Gatecrasher]
• Fall Out Boy Pete Wentz is opening a punk-themed unisex beauty parlor in his native Chicago, so everyone can be flatironed into oblivion. Joy! [Rush & Molloy]
• Jason Davis, brother of Mischa Barton's ex, Brandon Davis, was arrested for cocaine possession over the weekend. [TMZ]
• Mark Ronson is DJing Suri Cruises' 2nd birthday party? Seriously? [TMZ]
• Sophie Monk has released a statement: "Benji Madden did not leave me for Paris Hilton." Hmm, we never thought that, but whatever. Also: Paris has a new ring on her "engagement finger," is it from Benji? [People]
• Now that the writers' strike is over, Eva Longoria-Parker is getting back in shape, because apparently the pregnancy rumors stemmed from her gaining weight. Except she is plenty thin! What is wrong with people? [People]
• Prince Harry, back home from Afghanistan: "I wouldn't say I'm a hero. here were two injured guys who came back on the plane with us who were essentially comatose throughout the whole way. One had lost two limbs — a left arm and a right leg — and another guy who was saved by his mate's body being in the way but took shrapnel to the neck. Those are the heroes. Those were guys who had been blown up by a mine that they had no idea about, serving their country, doing a normal patrol." [People]
• Rapper Juvenile is "shocked and devastated" after learning that his 4-year-old daughter, her mother and another child were shot dead in their home in Lawrenceville, GA. [MTV News]
• Miley Cyrus and her dad are on the cover of a magazine called Cowboys & Indians. [ONTD]
• A judge dismissed part of actress Hunter Tylo's lawsuit against her late son's therapist. Her 19-year-old son drowned last October and Tylo sued the therapist, who had counseled the family. [UPI]
• Vanessa Williams and ex-husband Rick Fox were making the rounds Saturday, helping their daughter sell Girl Scout Cookies. [Concrete Loop]
• American Idol reject Robbie Carrico swears his hair is not a wig or weave. "I've been growing this hair for a very long time," Carrico says. Perhaps it's time to cut it off? [People]
• Mariah Carey on the cover of Allure! [The.Life Files]
• Will Ferrell's new flick was a dud at the box office, making a mere $15.3 million. [Reuters]

[Image via Getty.]

Lenny Kraviz: Let Love rule.

[Image via AP.]

James McAvoy, oh, boy.

[Image via AP.]

Eva Mmmmmmmmmendes.

[Image via AP.]

Joaquin: Feel the flames from the fire of the Phoenix.

[Image via AP.]

Mary J. Blige: Real Love.

[Image via AP.]

Toro! Toro!

[Image via AP.]

The Good: Kimberley Stewart is shockingly ,the only one who got the memo about keeping things classy. God bless Kylie Minogue: The woman only gets better with age. Naomi Harris looks gorgeous and glowing in orange. Love orange. Also nom nom James McAvoy!

The Bad: Another day, another opinion: This morning I feel totally over Lily Allen's dopey florals. Kelly Brook is dressed for the prom? I really want to like Kate Hudson's dress. But I can't.

The Ugly: Hey look! It's the girl from the Blind Melon music video! Hey look! It's Janice from Mean Girls! Just horrible, Hagyness.

[All photos via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Diva drug discovery! Before she went to court to support her jailed husband, Amy Winehouse snorted ecstasy, cocaine, and smoked crack. Friends asked her to come out with them and she said, "I'd be useless to you because I've had about six Valium." Wait, what? [Page Six]
  
• Holy crap and here are pictures — and video of Amy smoking crack. Ugh. [The Sun]
  
• Britney showed up for her deposition. She testified for two and a half hours, and could come back for another round. Progress! [TMZ]
  
• "Britney calls the paparazzi before she goes out," says photographer Alison Silva. "We know 15 minutes before she leaves the house. It's all staged." [Page Six]

• Oscarwatch: A "senior Hollywood figure" says: "I am 90% confident the Academy Awards will not go ahead." [Gatecrasher]
• Carla Bruni was asked if she is indeed married to French President Nicolas Sarkozy. "Not yet," she said. Those crazy kids. [Reuters]
• Sundance news: Nicky Hilton's boyfriend David Katzenberg was seen pulling down his pants and photographing his "private parts"; Paris Hilton kissed and gave a lap dance to Jared Leto. Anyone see any movies? [Page Six]
• Meanwhile Paris has been scooping up loads of free shit, like a $1500 baby gift basket (probs for Harlow Madden) an iPhone and an XBox. Because, you know, she can't afford that stuff on her own. [MSNBC]
• Oooh, Gossip Girl gossip! Leighton (Blair Waldorf) Meester and Blake (Serena van der Woodsen) Lively "avoid each other like the plague," says an insider. Xoxo! [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which legendary singer is being kept on a tight leash by her producer as she works on her comeback album? She was not allowed to attend a glitzy weekend celebrity event over fears for her sobriety." [Gatecrasher]
• John Travolta is coming to the defense of fellow Scientologist Tom Cruise. "We all have — the right to practice how we feel," he says. And he feels like the power of Xenu is awesome! [People]
• Dr. Phil says he's not sorry for trying to help Britney while she was hospitalized, and that he does not need to apologize for reaching out to a friend. Yawn. Go away. [AP]
• Oh, and the staff of Dr. Phil's show is disgruntled and "fed up." [MSNBC]
• Guess who else is mad at Dr. Phil? Oprah. Uh-oh. [MSNBC]
• The father of R&B singer Usher has passed away, though the cause of death is not known. [UPI]
• Unrelated: Hot pictures of Brad Pitt! [Perez Hilton]
• Hot pictures of James McAvoy! [ONTD]

US
Britney is SICK! Declares the cover, showing Brit with her broke-ass weave and hideously unflattering Halloween costume. Inside we learn that Spears got straight Fs on the Parenting Report Card graded by her court-appointed parenting coach because her home life is "chaotic." A "confidant" thinks Brit is suffering from adult onset ADD or postpartum depression. Us then provides a handy chart delineating the signs of mental illness for those of us not already convinced that Brit is batshit. In Hills news, the axis of evil known as Spencer Pratt is allegedly shopping a sex tape "under the guise that it had been 'stolen.'" The tape shows Pratt n' pals hooking up with a bunch of Brazilian hussies. Later, Audrina catches JustinBobby making out with a redhead at L.A. club Opera and has since begun dating Australian pro BMXer Corey Bohan. Also inside: did Katie Holmes run the marathon without a bra (but with lipstick and eyeshadow)? Are Jessica Simpson and Owen Wilson really dating? "Did Brad Get Dissed by Barak?" Are Christina Applegate and ex-husband Johnathon Schaech back together? What is the meaning of life?
Grade: C- (cold mac n' cheese the next morning)

Life & Style
Angelina's Sexy Kiss With Another Man! chastises the cover (and hey look, they went back to the old logo!) though inside we learn that her kiss was part of a scene with Scotsman James McAvoy for her upcoming movie Wanted. It's called ACTING, people. But we are reminded that Angie has a history of boning her costars, as she hooked up with Brad and exes Billy Bob Thornton and Jonny Lee Miller on set. Allegedly Brad is jealous of her steamy scene and also of her hot new bodyguard, another Scottish bloke named Billy. Britney's mom gives L&S an exclusive interview in which she says "I blame myself," for Britney's erratic behavior. It's kind of a bummer! In addition: Bennifer v. 2.0 is purportedly feeling the strain of their busy schedules, as Jennifer Garner is in New York acting in a revival of Cyrano and Ben is on the road promoting his directorial debut Gone Baby Gone. As a result, Ben's been hitting the sauce pretty hard again. Finally, there is a spread of Jennifer Aniston high school photos where she sports sweatpants and also her old nose.
Grade: D+ (cinnamon raisin bagel dug out of the garbage)

OK!
The cover shows adorable Jayden James and Sean Preston saying "Mommy We Miss You!" The "two forgotten princes of Malibu" are left in the car while Brit goes chandelier shopping and she never lets them have playdates with other, possible more hygienic children. An interview with "the anti-Britney" Carrie Underwood reveals that she loves the bad boys and enjoys drinking Coors beer, long walks on the beach and dolphins. "They're like giant, rubbery, wet dogs!" Kate Hudson and Orlando Bloom sucked face at her Halloween party (in front of ex-boyfriend Dax!!) but they're not really dating. Tyra Banks is dating a 50-year-old banker named John Utendahl, and his buddies are not pleased with Ty Ty's divaness. "Tyra insisted his friends delete iPhone pics they had taken as a group because she hadn't been styled!"
Grade: D (warm cottage cheese and prunes)

In Touch
Tom's still keeping secrets from Katie, the cover tells us. A new book by Andrew Morton (of Lady Di bio fame) exposing Tom's "deepest demons" is hitting bookstores next January. Katie is worried that Suri's paternity might be questioned by Morton because the alien baby's birth certificate was not signed until 20 days after she was born. In addition, Morton explores the gay innuendos that have plagued Tom since his marriage to Mimi Rogers, who had said he was celibate during their union. The book also rehashes the old rumor that Katie auditioned to be Tom's beard... er, wife, along with fellow starlets Jessica Alba and Kate Bosworth and alleges that Tom's past relationships were "photo opportunities" rather than "romances." In Touch carries details of the fracas at Oprah's South African academy. Disgraced school matron Tiny Makopo reportedly "grabbed a student by the throat and threw her against the wall." Also inside: George Clooney and Fabio got in a fistfight at Madeo in West Hollywood over some photos being taken by Fabio's party. Clooney asked one of Fabio's companions to stop taking pictures, and Fabio told George to "Stop being a diva." Zing! A scuffle ensued between George and Fabio but waiters broke it up before it got too intense. The Olsen twins had a garage sale and made a cool $25,000 off their homeless chic cast-offs.
Grade: C (peanut butter and jelly on untoasted Wonderbread)

Star
The cover asks whether Angelina and her bodyguard have become "too close?" Bodyguard Billy (no one knows his last name!) escorted Ange to a screening of A Mighty Heart. A friend of the couple says that Angelina "finds [Billy] attractive and she's reacting to it. She's flirtatious. She's a sexual creature." Britney's ashamed of her childhood because she grew up poor, says mom Lynne's forthcoming book. Also, her break-up with Justin was scheduled. According to a family insider, apparently things had been in decline for a while and towards the end, both Timberlake and Spears were using their bond for publicity. Finally, Lynne is in dire financial straits because Brit stopped giving her money. Helena Bonham Carter farted during a sex scene with Paul Bettany while filming The Heart of Me. Star also links Shia LaBeouf's recent Walgreens arrest to his break-up with Rihanna. Shia is allegedly insane with jealousy over her new relationship with Josh Hartnett.
Grade: D- (possibly rancid leftover General Tso's)