• It's Complicated's Alec Baldwin has amazing body image. "I have a great ass, if I may say so. That's a part of my body that needs no surgical enhancement or rearranging." But when it comes to cosmetic surgery, Baldwin says:

"I'm not saying I wouldn't do something! I intend to do something, I probably will. Let's put it this way: I wouldn't rule it out because... You don't think I wake up every day and wish I looked like this and this and this? But I can't let that bother me." Costar Meryl Streep is not convinced: "If you've ever even contemplated that stuff and looked at what can go wrong in any of those magazines, it's terrifying!" [Us via Entertainment Weekly ]

• Oooh! Julianne Moore on 30 Rock! Maybe as Alec Baldwin's love interest! [E!]
• Britney Spears' Australian tour has yet to begin, but it's already controversial: People have heard she'll be lip-syncing, and they are not happy. [AFP, Sydney Morning Herald]
• The Michael Lohan mess continues! Now Lindsay has Twittered, "Haha he's needs the book for dummies on HOW TO BE A MAN." In response, Michael says: "Lindsay is grasping at straws and when she gets angry she lashes out." And! "I want her to go into rehab." Yeah. We know. [RadarOnline]
• Lindsay also Tweeted that her father is a "loser" and, in reference to her mom, says: "She blames herself for staying w/him for so long, I'd beg her not to leave b/c he always threatened to kill her if she did." Michael Lohan responds: "That's a lie. I guess Lindsay is on more drugs than I thought to say something like that. Now I'm going to release more recordings that prove everything she is saying is nothing more than a bunch of lies. No wonder why God is taking her entire career away from her. Because she's forsaken everything He's given her and she's done nothing but misuse all the gifts she's given." [Page Six, ABC News]
• Want video of Michael Lohan saying Lindsay lies and so on? You got it. [Radar Online]
• Speaking of Michael Lohan, he and Hailey Glassman are among the witnesses TLC plans to subpoena in a breach of contract lawsuit filed against Jon Gosselin. That should be fun. [People, Radar Online]
• OMG OMG! The White House will host an episode of Iron Chef America, and contestants will use food from Michelle Obama's garden! [NY Daily News]
• Levi Johnston is pissed that William Shatner read his Tweets on The Tonight Show. His rep released a statement which reads: "My client, Levi Johnston, is being impersonated on your media (Twitter) and this is leading to libel and slanderous statements being attributed to him. ... We want you to put an immediate end to this illegal activity. ... You are being used as a medium to promote this illegality and we want immediate action." Etc., etc., etc. [ET, TMZ]
• Levi Johnston went shopping for hockey gear. For his ten-month-old son, Tripp. [ET]
• Levi Johnston is getting an award from our sister site, Fleshbot. [E!]
• Kate Hudson and A-Rod celebrated the Yankees' win by partying late. [NY Daily News]
• Will Oprah move her show from Chicago to L.A.? In a word: No. Not in the immediate future, anyway. But since her network, OWN, supposedly launches next year, she may move the show. But a source calls the OWN company "rudderless." [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Oprah Winfrey is removing gospel singer BeBe Winans from her show's 'karaoke challenge' until charges against him for allegedly pushing his ex-wife to the ground are resolved." [AP]
• Colin Farrell's sex tape has come back to haunt him, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend's family. [Irish Central]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are house-hunting together, if you care. [People]
• As you may have read in Midweek Madness, the stripper who claims she hooked up with Josh Duhamel claims that they fell asleep together after doing the deed, but "he kept waking her up for more sex." [Us]
• Awww: Slumdog Millionaire director Danny Boyle says Freida Pinto and Dev Patel are "soul mates." [Mirror]
• Um, David Gest plans to hold a seance tonight to attempt to contact Michael Jackson. You know who Gest needs to contact? A good hairdresser, because there is something WRONG. [The Sun]
• Kevin Spacey made a joke about Simon Van Kempen, Alex McCord and Ramona Singer of the Real Housewives of NYC, but they didn't think it was funny. [Gatecrasher]
• A suicide prevention group is not happy about the scene in The Office when Michael tries to scare kids by hanging from a noose. [AP]
• Jesse James is ordering his ex-wife to leave new wife Sandra Bullock out of their custody battle. Sandra has been helping Jesse raise his 5-year-old daughter ever since January, when Jesse's ex-wife — porn star Janine Lindemulder — wen to jail for tax evasion. [People]
• Mean! Sharon Osbourne thinks that Susan Boyle "looks like a hairy [bleep]hole." [Page Six]
• Spotted: Paula Abdul bawling at a screening of Precious. [Page Six]
• Stephen Colbert saw Bob Woodruff trying to tape an interview with Bruce Springsteen near a bathroom, so, naturally, Colbert flushed the toilet every time Bruce started to talk. [Page Six]
• Kevin Federline certainly likes to procreate. The National Enquirer is reporting hat his girlfriend is pregnant. That's K-Fed's fifth kid. [Perez]
• "Morgan Freeman has settled a lawsuit related to a 2008 car accident that seriously injured him and a passenger, according to court records posted Thursday." [USA Today]
• Pamela Anderson has been living in a trailer while her home was being worked on. "I moved there because I was waiting for this damn house to be built in this posh part of Malibu — then I realized I was so much happier." But now she's ready to move back into her house, although, she says: "The kids don't want to leave." [Daily Express]
• MTV host Alexa Chung celebrated her birthday with Agyness Deyn, cake, and ice cream. [Page Six]
• James Gandolfini doesn't like it when you film him without his consent. In this video, he tells a guy with a camera, "I'm gonna break your fucking face." Jeez. Do not make Tony Soprano mad! [Gothamist]
• Whatshername's kid is okay and out of the hospital. [The Sun]
• "Being out and just open: It's very liberating. Now I don't have to dance around anything. I don't have to think 'Well, if I say that, they're going to figure this out and that's going to lead to this.' Now, everything is out on the table. I don't have anything to hide; I can be even bolder." — Wanda Sykes. [USA Today]
• "There's that saying, what other people think of me is none of my business? But I don't really care. And I've dined with my heroes, man. If we're talking about comedians and people that have taken shots at me, I don't get it. I don't get that, 'cause I know that the Chris Rocks and the Steve Martins and the Billy Cosbys and the Rodney Dangerfields, guys that I loved, embraced me. Other comics, what people deem 'alt comics,' a lot of them have egg on their face 'cause they're now making talking-animal movies. 'Cause they sold out hard-core. And they have to answer to their fans now - 'Hey, I took a shot at Dane,' but you're in Alvin and the Chipmunks. And you know what? More power to you. You did a movie that goes against what you preached, and what you hard-core vehemently nailed me on. I know you got a kid to feed. You might have a sick mom that you have to take care of. And that's okay. I'm not gonna take your legs out from under you. But I am aware that you put your head in your pillow, and maybe you should have bit your tongue a little bit." — Dane Cook. [NY Mag]
• "I've done a few things, playing around with the OCD thing — when I leave my house I do a few things just to see what that's like. It's fun — you just have to maintain a real level of stillness. There's an air of confidence that comes through that stillness which dictates on the character so it's been a fun ride." — Dominic Monaghan pretends he has OCD because he plays a character with OCD on FlashForward. [Mirror]
• "Pepsi has created a soda that has Viagra in it. It's not going to be called a soft drink anymore." — Bruce Springsteen. [Gatecrasher]
• "I wouldn't have made it on that show. The pressure is unbelievable. Success wasn't measured back then as it is today — it took us three albums to make it big and I don't think they would have let happen now." — Jon Bon Jovi on X Factor. [Telegraph]
• "We are not supposed to still be here." — Jon Bon Jovi on being in the biz for 25 years. [BBC News]
• "I'm gonna get in trouble for this, but I don't watch any of the shows! The only show that I've seen anything on was a couple episodes of Atlanta and that's because I'm really good friends with [Atlanta's] NeNe and she was telling me about something and I was like, 'Oh, that sounds juicy. I gotta watch it!' I just developed a makeup line called Gretchen Christine Beaute and I'm working on the Gretchen Project and I just don't have time to watch TV — it's hard enough to get me to sit down and watch the show I'm on! I already have enough drama, obviously, in my life, so I don't need to watch the drama of the other ones." — O.C. Real Housewife Gretchen. [PopWrap]
• "I just finished writing a script and I am trying to get funding and casting for it, believe it or not. It's called We and it's a love story… It is two parallel love stories told from a woman's point of view, obviously. One is a historical story that took place with the Duke and Duchess of Windsor. And the other is one I made up about a couple in New York." — Won't you please fund Madonna's film career? [Daily Express]
• "No more farm animals — and no more children!" — George Clooney. [CNN]

Kelly Osbourne and Luke Worrell as Bacon and Eggs: Yes, I know this combo costume has been done to death, but these two are so cute that it totally works. They look warm and happy. And how fun is Kelly's bow?

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

The Stefani-Rossdale Crew Gwen and the boys, Zuma and Kingston, look adorable, but Gavin totally blows it by not bothering to wear a costume. Unless, of course, he's one of those people who says things like, "I'm Captain Holey Jeans," to explain his lack of Halloween gear. But still. Come on, dude.

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Brooke Shields: Her daughters are clearly an angel (or a butterfly?) and a mermaid, but I'm not sure what Brooke is dressed as. Any guesses?

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

The Pitt-Jolie Crew: I'm not sure what Angelina is dressed as, but Brad is clearly dressed as DJ Lance Rock from Yo Gabba Gabba, which is beyond awesome.

[Image via RadarOnline.]

LaToya Jackson: I'll admit that I'm not quite sure what LaToya Jackson is supposed to be, but she did spend her Halloween night raising money for "AIDS Project LA" by posing with impersonators of her late brother, Michael, which is simultaneously sweet and creepy, though I guess the fact that it was all for a good cause moves it more into the sweet column.

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Heidi Klum Heidi, who is somewhat known for her love of elaborate Halloween costumes, ended up going as "a black crow," as did her husband, Seal.

[Image via WENN.]

Christina Aguilera and her son, Max, wore matching skeleton suits. Very cute!

[Image via WENN.]

Christina Ricci and her boyfriend, Curtis Buchanan, did the mime thing, and quite well.

[Image via INFDaily.]

Paul Rudd and his son, Jack, apparently went as adorable for Halloween.

[Image via INFDaily.]

James Gandolfini, meanwhile, put on his best Homer Simpson disguise.

[Image via INFDaily.]

Ice-T and Coco Coco decided to go devilish...

[Image via Getty.]

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon while Mariah and Nick decided to be angelic.

[Image via Getty.]

Gene Simmons And finally, Gene Simmons went as, well, Gene Simmons.

[Image via WENN]

Where The Wild Things Are, of course, is based on the beloved children's book by Maurice Sendak, which presented a challenge for director Spike Jonze, who also wrote the screenplay with Dave Eggers. (The story only contains 10 sentences.) To turn the book into a full-length feature, Jonze and Eggers don't reinterpret it but expand on it, showing what prompts Max (Max Records) to misbehave and get sent to his room with no supper in the first place. In the film, which opens today, Max gets upset when his teenage sister Claire (Pepita Emmerichs) and her friends destroy his snow fort and his single mother (Catherine Keener) pays more attention to work and her new boyfriend (Mark Ruffalo) than him. Max acts out and then runs away from home in his wolf costume. In his imagination, he travels by boat to an island where he befriends giant creatures who make him their king. The creatures (voiced by James Gandolfini, Paul Dano, Lauren Ambrose, Chris Cooper, and Forest Whitaker) embody Max's various emotional issues from feeling abandoned, bossy, needy, or too wild.

Many critics call the film one of the year's best, both for honoring Sendak's book and accomplishing Jonze's goal of capturing "the feeling of what it is to be 9." Other reviewers aren't as enchanted, saying it is less representative of what children are actually like, and more about adults wistfully longing for their own childhoods. While many parents are worried the "Wild Things" will scare children, the critics say they're more likely to be bored by the creatures' neurotic problems. As for adults, while many scenes of Max's "wild rumpus" provide an "undeniable rush of pleasure," their enjoyment of the film may rest on their willingness to ponder the emotional world of children while listening to an indie rock soundtrack.

Entertainment Weekly

Sendak's great gift to readers, old as well as young, is the seriousness with which he presents even the wildest mayhem, the deepest contradictions in human (and Wild Thing) behavior; the author empathizes with fantasists but has no time for cuteness. In his transcendent movie adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are, Spike Jonze not only respects the original text but also honors movie lovers with the same clarity of vision. This is one of the year's best. To paraphrase the Wild Thing named KW, I could eat it up, I love it so.

The Wall Street Journal

The filmmaker, Mr. Jonze, has done only two features until now, Being John Malkovich and Adaptation. Both were strikingly original, marvelously intricate and notably erratic in their plot and structure. They made him an exciting choice to direct this one, though also a risky choice, since the Sendak book is essentially plotless. (Boy misbehaves, boy's unseen mother sends him to bed without supper, boy's room becomes a forest populated by bizarre creatures who make him king and do his bidding until he feels hungry for love and heads back home.) Happily-and improbably, given the potential for outraging whole generations of readers-the risks have been managed by taking greater risks, and some brave ones. This adaptation, by the director and his celebrated co-writer, Dave Eggers, makes Max a somewhat older (maybe 8 or 9) and much angrier child than the original-all that wildness doesn't come from nowhere-as well as a wrenchingly vulnerable child whose adventures are elaborately rooted in his everyday life. His mother is not only seen but powerfully felt: Catherine Keener, an actress of unforced warmth and uncommon humor, has never been so affecting, even when this loving mom vents ample anger in her turn. (Mark Ruffalo appears briefly as her boyfriend.)

The New York Times

Much is left unexplained in Mr. Jonze's adaptation, including Max's melancholia, which hangs over him, his family and his wild things like a gathering storm. But childhood has its secrets, mysteries, small and large terrors. When a hilariously bungling teacher explains, rather too casually, that the sun is going to die, the flash of horror on Max's face indicates that he understands that the sun won't be the only one to go. There are other reasons, perhaps, an absent father, a distracted mother. (And when a frightened Max listens to an argument between Carol and K W, you hear the echoes of parental discord.) But such analysis is for therapy, not art, and one of the film's pleasures is its refusal of banal explanation.

The Washington Post

Viewers expecting a consoling, soft-focus version of an anodyne children's story should be forewarned: Jonze takes the story to the dark and edgy place where devotion slips into aggression, where loneliness and fear are indistinguishable from liberation and desire. This isn't to say that Where the Wild Things Are isn't suitable for children; it's just that it will probably be most enjoyable to children with a working knowledge of Bruno Bettelheim's "The Uses of Enchantment" and psychoanalytic theory.

The A.V. Club

Though little happens, it doesn't much need to. Max gets to know the wild things in ways that simply ring true, and that's story enough. He favors Gandolfini, all but ignores the timid goat-beast voiced by Paul Dano, tries to impress big-sister figure Lauren Ambrose, and bosses around Chris Cooper's bird-man. And in a subtle, daring, but thoroughly effective move, Jonze has Max fearfully avoid the nameless, near-silent bull, who often appears alone and in the distance, unremarked upon. Whether the action is grand and exciting, as when Jonze brings to life a massive fortress made of twigs, or simple and human, as in touching one-on-ones that Max has with Ambrose, Dano, and Gandolfini, it all feels genuine to the actual experience of childhood in ways that children's movies generally don't. Max learns about himself, to be sure, but Jonze never considers making the sort of broad-stroke, "Here's what everybody learned!" gestures that attempt to stand in for actual emotion. Instead, he lets a little kid loose to explore the terrain of his own mind, which turns out to be an amazing place.

USA Today

Eggers has said he and Jonze wanted to avoid depicting Max as so many movie kids are shown: "de-fanged." Max certainly has fangs - and he's not afraid to use them. The uneven pacing and tone are stirring, blending melancholy with boisterous fun. When you think about it, those polarities best capture the most indelible images of anyone's childhood - those which hurt or frighten, and those which thrill... Where the Wild Things Are is a fiercely innovative film with surprising texture and nuance. It captures the joy and exuberance of childhood without shying away from its very real pains and woes.

New York Magazine

Jonze and Eggers's most agreeable innovation is turning Sendak's rather anonymous beasts into complex, conflicted personalities. They sit around quarreling, smashing things, making holes in trees, staring into space, and wishing for a leader. They're like a counterculture commune after all the hippies and their woks have left, after the drugs have stopped working so well. And then comes little Max, who proclaims himself a king to keep them from devouring him. Max Records (I still can't get over that name) has a mop of dark hair and a sweet face, but his Max is petulant and edgy. It's a wonderful performance; you'd never know he was acting opposite nine-foot puppets.

The Chicago Sun-Times

The movie felt long to me, and there were some stretches during which I was less than riveted. Is it possible that there wasn't enough Sendak story to justify a feature-length film? In a way I suppose the book tells a feature-length story just in Sendak's drawings, and Jonze and Eggers have taken those for their inspiration. All the same, the film will play better for older audiences remembering a much-loved book from childhood, and not as well with kids who have been trained on slam-bam action animation.

Reel Views

The only actor with significant screen time is relative newcomer Max Records, whose only previous feature credit is a small part in The Brothers Bloom (he played Stephen as a boy). Records' greatest strength is his incredibly expressive face. He conveys emotions through his expressions; his delivery of dialogue is less certain. It remains to be seen whether his career trajectory will lead him to become the next "big" child actor or whether he'll perform on the periphery until puberty hits. Catherine Keener has a small role as Max's mom, and her confident presence in her few scenes makes us wish Jonze had found a way to expand her screen time. The vocal casting is perfect: James Gandolfini as Carol, Lauren Ambrose as KW, Paul Dano as the goat Alexander; Catherine O'Hara as the perpetually negative Judith; Forest Whitaker as Judith's sadsack companion, Ira; Chris Cooper as Douglas, this film's Big Bird; and Michael Berry Jr. as the taciturn Bull. Only Gandolfini's voice is immediately recognizable; everyone else blends anonymously into their parts, and the Tony Soprano connection serves only to invest Carol with an extra edge.

The Boston Globe

While this much-awaited, long-in-the-works film has more than its share of wild rumpuses, its big, shaggy heart is in what happens after the rumpus dies down: insecurities, misunderstandings, fears. Where the Wild Things Are isn't for little kids so much as it's about them, and parents and tykes expecting the next Shrek or even a seamless work of Pixar genius will be sorely disappointed if not a little freaked out. The movie is a wild thing, and that's not such a bad thing at all.

The Hollywood Reporter

The film does surmount one of its two difficult challenges: Through puppetry and computer animation, the filmmaking teams have successfully put a world of childhood imagination on the screen. Where the film falters is Jonze and novelist Dave Eggers' adaptation, which fails to invest this world with strong emotions. Children might enjoy the goofy monsters and their fights and squabbles, but adults likely are to grow weary of the repetitiveness. In the end, the book probably was too slender to support a 102-minute movie. Without a quest to propel the story, such as Dorothy's journey in The Wizard of Oz, the movie turns into an afternoon-special with an easily digested moral that fails to grab youngsters by the collar and shake them up with an exciting adventure.

Variety

The wild things move around pretty well and interact with Max in a credible way that fully justifies the no doubt difficult decision not to use CGI all the way. All the more ironic, then, that the film's biggest problem is not the look of the creatures but the manner in which they speak. That said, the thesps provide low-key, nuanced readings, with Gandolfini and Lauren Ambrose particularly distinguishing themselves with dialogue that often seems odd coming from the toothsome mouths seen onscreen. Excellent production values stress the relative realness of what's on view compared to the digital worlds of most kidpics these days. The alt-rock tenor of the music scoring is refreshing at first, but the predictability of the music cues proves increasingly wearisome.

The Village Voice

What's best about Jonze's movie is its kinetic feel for physical play-herky-jerky camera as Max and the WTs zip and bounce through the forest-not surprising from a former skateboard punk like Spike. What's weakest is its blandness, the sense memory of a child raised on Sesame Street. The psychic environment is less King Kong's Skull Island than Fred Rogers' neighborhood: Where the Wild Things Aren't. Wild Things isn't overlong, but it is underwhelming. Who is the audience? Children brought to see it might find it a downer-a case of what the New York Times has called "misery for art's sake." Triumph or travesty, this movie is more likely something for Jonze's generational cohorts to love or loathe. (How many suburban garage bands had the name Wild Rumpus?) For me, it seemed like group therapy with the muppets.

The New Yorker

Jonze and Eggers have spoken of their desire to keep the film close to a child's needs, but have they done that? Kids like danger, followed by a release from danger and a return to safety, yet the only danger posed by these creatures is that they will turn Max into someone as messed-up as they are. The filmmakers may have wanted to link Max's anger to the creatures' wounds, but the connection is fuzzy-Max isn't the one who hurt them. I have a vision of eight-year-olds leaving the movie in bewilderment. Why are the creatures so unhappy? That question doesn't return a child to safety or anywhere else. Of one thing I am sure: children will be relieved when Max gets away from this anxious crew.

Slate

When the wild things race through the forest to the sound of a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song or leap atop Max and one another in a great, snuggly pile, there's an undeniable rush of pleasure. (You can get it in its purest form by watching the trailer.) But in between these hits of energy are long swaths of desultory narrative about the relationships among the wild things themselves: Judith is jealous of Carol because of his special closeness to Max. Carol is bummed that K.W. has made friends outside the wild-thing community. Alexander struggles with the self-esteem issues you might expect from a puny, introverted goat. Essentially, the entire middle section could be summed up as follows: Fuzzy guys build a stick fort, sit inside it, and mope. If I avoid taking my 3-and-a-half-year-old daughter to this movie, it won't be because the wild things would scare her. (They might frighten some children, but I live with a miniature adrenaline junkie.) It'll be because their endless therapeutic workshopping would bore her stiff.

The Los Angeles Times

The problem with this cast of characters is not so much their personalities but the way screenwriters Jonze and Eggers have turned them into neurotic adults with dysfunctional relationships. To hear them talk among themselves is to feel like you've stumbled onto a group therapy session involving unfunny refugees from an alternate universe Woody Allen movie. It's not a good feeling. Max does utter the book's signature line, "Let the wild rumpus start," but he spends a lot of his time not really being sure what he's doing. When Jonze told the New York Times Magazine, "Everything we did, all the decisions we made, were to try to capture the feeling of what it is to be 9," he's telling the truth. Unfortunately, in this case, that's not a very interesting place to be.

Salon

That right there is enough to make me urge any filmmaker to stick to his vision. It isn't, unfortunately, enough to make me like his movie. Where the Wild Things Are may be a childlike picture, but it isn't an innocent one. The movie is so loaded with adult ideas about childhood — as opposed to things that might delight or engage an actual child — that it comes off as a calculated, petulant shout, the kind of trick kids play to guilt-trip their parents into paying attention to them. It appears to be a movie made by, and for, members of a generation who feel it's unfair to have to grow up. Jonze isn't channeling the feelings of 9-year-olds so much as he's obsessively fingering his own, like the silky edge of a blanket. "Who cares about the children?" is Jonze's sulky rhetorical question. "What about me?"

• New day, same rumor: The "doc" is a diva. So. Did Katherine Heigl get dropped from the cast of cringe-inducing flick Valentine's Day because she wanted too much cash? Her rep says:

"The story is ludicrous." And: "Katherine walked away from this project for multiple reasons." Hmm. Julia Roberts, Jennifer Garner, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Shirley MacLaine and Bradley Cooper are still in. [Page Six]

• Celebrities are speaking out about the gay marriage ban in California: Melissa Etheridge says: "So, will anyone be sleeping better tonight? Those full of hate and fear will surely be disappointed that 18,000 same sex couples will be living in wedded bliss, kissing their spouses goodnight, checking off those little 'married' boxes on all those forms we fill out nowadays. That's really going to drive them crazy." Lance Bass says: "The decision to uphold Prop 8 is deeply disappointing. I can only hope to one day live in a country that grants equal rights, opportunity, and freedom to all citizens." [Radar Online]
• George Clooney says of the ruling on Prop 8: "This just should invigorate people to get it back on the ballot in 2010 and 2012 and every two years until all people are allowed a basic civil right." [E!]
• Twitterholics Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are threatening to quit Tweeting if Twitter goes forward with its plans to launch a TV show. [NY Mag]
• More Demi Moore: She will make the trip to the UK to watch Susan Boyle in the Britain's Got Talent finale. Simon Cowell offered her (and hubs Ashton) first-class plane tickets. [The Sun]
• This video clip may or may not be footage from the new Amy Winehouse documentary Saving Amy. One thing is for sure: It's boring. If you want to see Amy's dad talk about the villa in St. Lucia for 10 seconds and then see Amy say something unintelligible for about 2 seconds, then go ahead and click. [ONTD]
• News you cannot use: Someone somewhere says of Jesus Luz: "Leave it to Madonna to find the only Jew who's a hot Latino with an uncut penis." Brazilians aren't Latino, though, right? [Village Voice]
• Speaking of Madonna: Artist Peter Howson has created an oil painting of her Madgesty in the nude with her ex, Guy Ritchie, touching her thigh. Honestly? It doesn't exactly look like her. But it's up for auction this week, if you have £22, 000. [Mirror]
• Oh! Jesus Luz speaks! He and Madonna bought jewelry together, but it's not because they're getting married: "I received these pieces of jewellery because they are inspired by Kabbalah," he says. "If I want to present them to somebody, it could be my mother or a friend of mine. I don't have any marriage plans or any wedding present." [Mirror]
• Hugh Jackman's nine-year-old son uttered the following: "Hey dad, 2 o'clock, hot chicks." And, apparently, the kid, Oscar, went up to the girls and said: "Hey, you know that my dad's Wolverine?" [Mirror]
• Michael Lohan was arrested last month when he threatened to kill his fiancée and himself when she tried to dump him. Not good. [Page Six]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are moving to a bigger house in preparation for the twins. [Daily Mail]
• It's not a Mariah Carey gossip item without hairdresser drama and diamonds! [Page Six]
• Robert Pattinson may or may not have hooked up with a blonde chick when he was in the South of France for the Cannes Film Festival. Star spoke to the lady in question, who says: "We had a great time together! Rob's very sweet." Scintillating. [Star]
• If you see a "parade of rats," follow them! You might find Gisele Bundchen, Michael Cera, Rupert Everett and NBC news anchor Lester Holt, who are all experiencing a serious rat problem on their street in the West Village in NYC. [Page Six]
• Russell Brand, who hosted the MTV Awards last year, has advice for Andy Samberg, who's hosting the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday: "Do not jokingly criticise the Jonas Brothers — you will receive less-threatening death threats. There's nothing worse than opening a letter and then seeing in it a death threat. You think, 'Hold on a minute. I wasn't looking forward to the letter particularly. Now I fear death. Ruins a perfectly good read.'" [Mirror]
• Hey, Page Six: This item is called "Kelis & Nas Celebrate Their Baby," yet they're in the middle of a bitter divorce! [Page Six]
• Kevin Kreider, brother of Kate of Jon & Kate Plus 8, says the kids are being exploited and viewed as commodities. Sigh. [CBS News]
• Kirsten Dunst is selling her L.A. home on Nichols Canyon Road; it's got 3 bedrooms and 2 baths, exposed beams in the living room and cute outdoor spaces. Kiki is accepting offers starting at $1,700,000. Go! [Real Estalker]
• Kim Kardashian is not engaged. She doesn't know when she will get engaged. And yet. She is picking out rings. "It's just easier," she explains. "Isn't it easy if someone's like, 'This is exactly what I want.' It'll make your life so easy." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Breaking news from Lady GaGa: "I like boys that look like girls." [Fox News]
• Gavin Rossdale is on the road touring to support his new album, and little Kingston is with him! "Sometimes we'll go to museums of modern art so he can see a big splash of color on the walls… I found a way to kill some time in New York by asking him to look out the window and tell me every time he saw a yellow taxi," says Gavin. "He was so into it. We had a really good time." [People]
• Kelly Osbourne's fiancé saved her dog's life! Little Goldie was bitten by a rattlesnke and Luke rushed the pup to the vet. Kelly Twittered: "Thanks to Luke we got her there just in time. Luke was amazing, if he was not there I don't know what would have happened!" [The Sun]
• "Lifetime Movie Network Tuesday announced plans to air two fashion-themed murder mysteries this summer." LOL. Maggie Lawson stars as Lacey Smithsonian, a Washington, D.C., fashion reporter whose beat turns deadly. LOL! Mark Consuelos, Mario Cantone, Finola Hughes, Mary McDonnell and Victor Webster will be cast in the flicks, titled Killer Hair and Hostile Makeover. LOL. [UPI]
• Jodie Sweetin — aka Stephanie Tanner — has penned a book, UnSweetined, which details her past as a meth, coke, ecstasy and booze abuser who finally straightened out after she discovered she was pregnant. [Page Six]
• James Gandolfini, Will Ferrell, Nicole Kidman, Anne Hathaway and Kevin Spacey will be presenting at the Tony awards. Fingers crossed that they'll all do a musical number together! [Variety]
• James Brown died Christmas 2006, but legal battles over his estate have lived on. Yesterday a judge ruled that half of his assets will go to his charitable trust; a quarter to his wife and young son, and the rest to Brown's adult children. [USA Today]
• Ed McMahon's lawsuit — regarding slipping on a ramp-like staircase at a mansion and hurting his neck — has been settled. [TMZ]
• The promoter who sold tickets to see a fake Toni Braxton sing says that the Braxton impersonator was unaware of his scheme; she thought that everyone knew that she was an impersonator, and didn't find out until later that people purchased tickets expecting to see the real Toni Braxton. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Starting today, fans who visit Graceland get to go in the stables. [USA Today]
• Blind item! "Which beauty now going through a divorce told a pal over lunch four years ago, 'I've had several abortions. If my husband ever found out, he'd throw me out of the house?' Looks like he found out." [Page Six]
• "It's all about history. What we as mothers are doing is creating history with our kids that we can look back on. When they're adults I want my kids to say 'Mom worked so hard, but she was always there for us.'" — Britney Spears, who says she was encouraged by Madonna to take her kids on tour. [The Sun]
• "Playing a bad guy is always a freeing experience - because you don't have the same envelope of restrictions that you have playing a good guy." — John Travolta, who plays a bad guy in The Taking Of Pelham 123. [Mirror]
• "You want people to talk about you, because once they stop talking about you that's when you're really in trouble! I'm happy to have people talk about all the craziness they want to talk about, whether it's things like every year we're getting divorced or we're an open family or Will's gay, or I'm gay." — Jada Pinkett Smith, who graces the new cover of Ebony. [Just Jared]
• "I was on my way to a festival [in Chicago], I was on the street and he (a police officer) stopped me. He said 'put your ass up against the fence,' there were kids around so I guess he wanted me to cover up my butt — quite a bit was showing. But it was quite an epic moment for me, I was up against the fence going ‘it's fashion, I'm an artist!' I signed his ridiculous piece of paper and left. I was being wildly disrespectful to him, he looked like some park ranger on a bike." — Lady GaGa. [Fox News]
• "I had a gentleman turn up on my doorstep all the way from Peru. He said he'd seen my clip on YouTube and had to come congratulate me. That was pretty weird." —Susan Boyle. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I met Randy Jackson, and he asked me to sing on American Idol. I was like, 'Um, I'll stick to dancing.'" —Shawn Johnson. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I've always approached this from the place where I don't compete with other girls. I don't compete with other people in the industry, I compete with myself. If I looked at every other girl in the entertainment industry as competition, my life would be really lonely. I wouldn't have some of the coolest friends that I'm so glad I've gotten to know over the last couple of years. ... It's really awesome to get to hang out with those girls [Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez] and to call them friends." — Taylor Swift. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "I'm home from the hospital and feeling great. Thanks for all the love and support!" — Elizabeth Taylor, via Twitter. [Reuters, Liz Taylor's Twitter]
• "I couldn't marry John Mayer, it'd be so intense. I'd definitely shag the shit out of him though. I'll go on record saying that." — Katy Perry. [The Sun via Complex]

[Park City, Utah; January 22. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• The crew on Madonna's world tour is threatening to quit because they had to stay at a cheap airport hotel while she stayed in an £11,000-a-night castle. It cannot be confirmed whether or not Her Madgesty said, "Let them eat cake." [Mirror, WOW Report]
• Here's the latest on David Duchovny: He may have had an addiction to online porn. And he may have released a statement about it because he was already in treatment and a fellow patient was about to sell info to the tabloids. [Fox News]
• Looking back at old interviews, Duchovny revealed his love of porn and '80s porn stars. [People]
• Meanwhile, Tea Leoni has canceled her appearance at the Toronto Film Festival. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan hung out with Sam Ronson instead of going to her grandfather's wake on Long Island. [The Sun]
• Lindsay signed a MySpace message "This song is for SR… ILY." Translation: "This song is for Sam Ronson. I love you." [Pop Dirt]
• Are Queen Latifah and her long time partner Jeanette Jenkins planning on adopting? Are they out now? [ONTD]

• Some dude's been arrested for stealing a digital camera that had pictures of Kate Middleton and Prince William vacationing in Mustique together. The camera belonged to Kate's little sister Pippa and the guy intended to sell the snaps to the tabloids, obvs. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Spacey: Seen pinching the bare bottom of some dude. [Mr. Paparazzi, via Perez Hilton]
• Says a witness: "Kevin looked like he was having a brilliant time." [The Sun]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck of The View is heading to the Republican National Convention on Thursday. She'll fly in and out on the same day. "I must really want John McCain elected," she says, "because I would not get on a plane like that for anyone else." Oh, the sacrifice! Thank God McCain has you. [NY Daily News]
• The apocalypse is nigh: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are opening a bar. In NEW YORK. To be called The Hill. [W]
• Save Katie! The anti-Scientology group Anonymous will be protesting at opening night of Katie Holmes' Broadway debut in All My Sons. "We aren’t looking to shut it down, we just want to prove a point," says a spokesperson. [MSNBC]
• Josh Hartnett and and unnamed female friend went into a little-used library at a SoHo hotel and started getting "hot and heavy." Since the hotel — and the library — are under security camera surveillance, the staff saw a little show on a monitor. No video link, sorry! [MSNBC]
• Michael Phelps shot a cameo for the new season of Entourage. "It was like being in New York City with one of the Beatles," Kevin "E" Connolly says. "People were stopping in the streets and climbing up things to see him. They were going nuts. He's like a superstar." [Yahoo News]
• Meanwhile, Michael Phelps is totally not talking about the ladies and doing his best to have some privacy: "I never said I have a girlfriend, and I never said I don't have a girlfriend," he says. [People]
• DNA evidence has linked an air conditioning repairman to the 2001 stabbing death of Ashley Ellerin, Ashton Kutcher's former girlfriend. [Yahoo News]
• Johnny Depp was on stage with his old band! One night only! He played guitar and sang backup! It was for charity. [Yahoo News]
• This was probably inevitable but still: Oy: Agyness Deyn is working on a Hollywood career. [Daily Mail]
• Not that you asked, but Britney has been working out "super hard" and is in "great shape." [Page Six]
• Angelina Jolie would like to work on a European film. "No one has asked me yet," she says. "When I can really speak it, maybe I'll try out for a French film in a few years." [Breitbart]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Moving in together? They looked at a $22 million mansion in Malibu and Sienna liked it. (At that price point, what's not to like?) [Perez Hilton]
• Maroon 5's Adam Levine: Seen hitting on newly single Anne Hathaway at the Vanity Fair DNC party. Uh-oh, isn't Adam on that herpes chart? [Fox News]
• James Gandolfini, 46, married his fiancée Deborah Lin, 40, in her hometown of Honolulu, Hawaii on Saturday. "They both wore long, green leis around their necks," says a source. "There were lots of white flowers on the tables and Gandolfini was beaming." [People]
• French actress Emmanuelle Beart and director Fabrice Du Welz are defending their latest movie, Vinyan, in which Beart stars as a mother who loses her son to the 2004 tsunami but refuses to believe he is dead. The character and her husband go looking for the kid in the jungle of the Thai-Myanmar border and stumble across a terrifying world ruled by savage children. It's a horror film, but the director says, "I tried to be as respectful as I can. I don't want to be unpleasant to people who have really suffered from the tsunami." [Yahoo News]
• John Mayer got really drunk and partied with a blonde cocktail waitress on the last night of his world tour. On stage, he mentioned reading The Secret and said "I had a conversation recently, and a lot of tears were exchanged." Jen Aniston, sniff, sniff. [People]
• This is just coming out now, but apparently Amy Winehouse overdosed twice last year: Once in July, from smoking hash for 36 hours; next in August from cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, ketamine and crystal meth. Now she might have brain damage or schizophrenia from the drugs. [The Sun]
• Another "Amy Winehouse may have brain damage" story. [Daily Mail]
• Headline of the day: "Could Scarlett Be The Next Spielberg?" Yes, Ms. Johansson wants to direct. [Daily Express]
• Mel Gibson has become "close to" a "glamorous Russian musician" on the set on his new movie but he says she's just a colleague and he remains happily married. [Daily Mail]
• The stage musical version of 9 To 5 features 19 new Dolly Parton songs. "She's so lovely and so humble," producer Robert Greenblatt says. "She says, 'I'm not sure I'll get you the whole way there, but I'd love to give it a try. If something doesn't work exactly, I'll rewrite it.'" [Variety]
• Colin Farrell saved this homeless guy's life by giving him cash and telling him: "You need to get your life together, man, promise me. And make sure you go see my new movie." [Toronto Sun]
• Jude Law is visiting Afghanistan to promote peace. Yeah, I dunno. [AP]
• Sign of the recession? Diddy had to give up his private jet. [The Star]
• Natalie Portman won a humanity award at the Venice Film Festival, where she made her directorial debut with a short film called Eve. [The Star]
• Duran Duran fan? Maybe you wanna read about how cocaine destroyed the band. Written by Andy Taylor! [Daily Mail]
• Sixty-two year old Cher has a 36 year old man and she hired a private jet to fly him and two of his buddies to Memphis to catch a Merle Haggard show, which is kind of awesome. [Page Six]
• Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze: Still on. [Page Six]
• Leanne Rimes, 26, has been married for seven years, and says she is ready for a baby. [People]
• "You are bugging the fuck out… No disrespect. …Alaska? I don't even know if there's any black people in Alaska. If you really think we're gonna let you win the election with these crazy decisions that you're making, you're bugging." —Diddy's thoughts about Sarah Palin in a video directed to John McCain. [Perez Hilton]
• Jerry O'Connell says pregnant wife Rebecca Romjin craves lemonade and soy cream cheese. "Can't be cream cheese. Soy cream cheese. Do you know how difficult it is to find soy cream cheese? It's usually in the corner of the supermarket someplace!" [People]
• "The easiest sex scene I have done was in Mulholland Drive because it was with another woman. There was no awkwardness. There was no sexual tension." — Naomi Watts. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "When it comes to fashion, I know about as much as Betty. I love to play dress-up and it’s fun, but I’m not interested in the fashion world. If I wasn’t an actress, I’d probably want to be a teacher." — America Ferrera. [Mirror]
• "I always knew I was never the prettiest or ugliest girl in the room. Life's too short to inject botulism into you face to get rid of a tiny line because you've laughed too much. I don't feel a need to lose weight, because I'm not 21. I'm happy with my package." — Ashley Jensen, aka Christina on Ugly Betty. [Daily Mail]
• "It's very strange to be here in London without Anthony Minghella, whom I loved very much, and very painful. I was so frightened in the first week of shooting The English Patient, I was trembling, but he was trying to find a way to win my trust, and he just said to me, 'Well, fly...' and I did and it changed my life." — Juliette Binoche. [Independent]
• "Victoria and I are very different. People bracket us together because we live in the same city and we’re both interested in fashion. Victoria’s fashion line has been very successful and, hopefully mine will be too. But that’s where the similarities begin and end." —Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown. Not that you knew she had a fashion line. [Daily Mail]
• "The only thing I can cook really is mince meat, which is ironic because I'm a vegetarian. But I like calzone and lasagne. I cooked every day in Spain so David and the boys lived off minced meat for four years. I cook a Sunday dinner every single Sunday I'll have you know. My kids like Yorkshire pudding so I make that, I can make it from scratch and I make Dora the Explorer cakes for afters because the kids love them." — Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. [Daily Mail]
• "I can't even think about having another baby right now. The boys take up so much of my time." — Victoria Beckham. [Mirror]
• "I don't care for [romantic comedies] where the guy is emasculated, tossed around by the woman, and lacking a point of view. It's a disservice to both the male and the female. I like to give my guys some balls" - Matthew McConaughey to Plenty magazine. [Page Six]
• "I kind of want to see how the audience responds first. I don't want to overstay my welcome." — Shannen Doherty, on whether she will stick with the new 90210. [LA Times]
• "I informed British Airways of my late arrival. I told them I was a kind of minor celebrity and I might get a bit of hassle at the airport. Turns out they are complete arseholes. Even when I fell over and badly creased my hat, I had no assistance. I was crying but I didn't want them to see. A cynic might say I missed the plane, an honest man might say I went to the airport a little late." —Pete Doherty. [Mirror]
• "I think manipulation is something that women do a lot, it's still our number one problem. You look at those characters [in The Duchess] — Georgiana and Bess — and they're hugely trying to outmanoeuvre each other, but I think it's also possible for intense love affairs to happen between women — not necessarily sexual, but things can obviously take a sexual turn. Women do get obsessed with other women — whether they love them or hate them, and I think that line is very easy to cross." — Keira Knightley [Guardian]

• KATE MOSS VERSUS AGYNESS DEYN! "'Kate can't stand her. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that Agy is her nemesis...It's not about Agy's personality, but what she represents. She's younger, fresher, everyone loves her and she's got everything ahead of her. Now she's singing with a band, something Kate has wanted to do for years. Kate's 34 now and she realises her days as a model are numbered. Everyone's calling Agy the new Kate Moss - and that hurts.'" [Daily Mail]
• Is the panty party over already? The University of Minnesota seeks to 'distance' itself from Victoria's Secret college line. [US News]
• Taylor "Little J" Momsen, the 14-year-old Gossip Girlie, has signed on to model with IMG. [People]
• Which makes sense, as apparently this WWD model is a GG regular... [Fashionista]
• ...in stories like this one, about the changing streetwear market! [WWD]

• Brooklyn band (and Wesleyan alumni) MGMT inspire Gucci show! [Nylon]
• Diesel co-brands with Roskilde music fest. [WWD]
• "Britain's most beautiful disabled women are to be given the chance to become a top model in a ground-breaking BBC television series." Just...read the story. [Telegraph"]
• After fashion sabbatical, Christian Thomas Roth relaunches line. [WWD]
• Class-action suit against Louis Vuitton for dubious, ridiculous merchandising at the Brooklyn Museum. [Time]
• Recession breathes down Nike's neck. (Skinny part of the swoosh, methinks.) [Reuters]
• Fendi unveils 3" wedges. For men. [The Times]
• Australian designer Wayne Cooper charged with domestic abuse. [SMH]
• Katharine Hamnett gets on the organic denim bandwagon. [WWD]
• Sinister, hair-baring "super-v-neck" worst trend of summer. [BlackBook]
• Radar terms it "the douchebag neck" [Radar]
• Shockingly, novelty-Vogue-intern Sean Avery's experience was not typical. [New York Magazine]
• Amazon acquires fabric.com. [TechCrunch]
• The suggestion is that the model in the new Chanel campaign looks kinda like a contorted Barbie. [PhotoshopDisasters]
• Tony Soprano's wardrobe bags for $187,750 Wounded Warriors charity; 'hit' costume the biggest seller, obvi. [MSNBC]
• The politics of button-placement: a thorny issue! [New York Times]
• Sweatshops? Jennifer Love Hewitt's for 'em, personally. Or so claim some college kids. [Reason.com]
• In the wake of the groundbreaking Italian Vogue July issue, rumors are swirling that Lanvin will feature an "all-ethnic" lineup. Can't be behind a trend! [Fashionista]
• Other trends? Stars and stripes, apparently. No wonder Tommy's up! [New York Times]
• Founder of Tom's Shoes is apparently a madman. [Style.com]
• Penney's scales back. [Financial Times]

• Britney Spears is in Louisiana! Her 17-year-old sister Jamie Lynn should be delivering a baby super soon. [People]
• Jamie Lynn's induced labor could be happening RIGHT NOW! (Possible baby name: Cailynn, a composite of Casey and Lynn.) [ONTD]
• It could be a C-section, you guys. [DListed]
• Kevin Federline has a new gal and she might have an arrest record. [TMZ]
• Cynthia Nixon had breast augmentation? And Kristin Davis had varicose veins removed? Really? [Page Six]
• In an old voicemail Charlie Sheen left for Denise Richards, Charlie dropeed the N-word and a bunch of F-bombs. Sez Charles: "I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended, especially to Tony Todd, an African American, who was my best man at my first two weddings." Uh, yeah, that makes it all better. [E!]

• Mary Tyler Moore! Back on TV! Lipstick Jungle! "I'm fortunate to have had a front row seat to the evolution of working women on television," said Moore. "It's been great fun to watch the strong female characters of Lipstick Jungle go at it week after week. I absolutely adore Brooke and I'm delighted to be a part of a show which is so well written." [NBC/Universal]
• OMG. Ali Lohan is up for the lead in a remake of the movie Troll? [E!]
• Anne Hathaway and ex Raffaello Follieri: The break up is "very amicable." [Page Six]
• The dude who judges America's Got Talent (and is not David Hasselhofff), Piers Morgan, was apparently the "cupid" who introduced Paul McCartney to Heather Mills. Whoops! "I was fooled into thinking that she was a good person," Piers says. [Page Six]
• Music mogul Tommy Mottola had the audacity to throw a CD launch party and not offer free food to the press attending. [Page Six]
• Cops call James Gandolfini "Jesus Christ." [Page Six]
• Ann Rice was a virgin until she got married? [Page Six]
• Justin Timberlake's best friend and business partner, Trace Ayala, is engaged to Reba star JoAnna Garcia. Congrats! [People]
• Ashlee Simpson was at the opening of Pete Wentz's new bar and showed off her "baby curves." [People]
• So you know how, back when she was a stylist, Kim Kardashian worked for Brandy? And Brandy's mom says KK still owes her more than $120,000 in unauthorized charges on her credit card? And she filed a lawsuit? There's a trial date! February 17, 2009. [E!]
• Jennifer Hudson wishes Barack Obama would call her. [E!]
• Ooh, Rue McClanahan talking about her "sordid" life. Golden Girls Gone Wild! [ONTD]
• J.J. Abrams, creator of Alias and Lost, is working on a film based on a New York Times article called Mystery Of Fifth Avenue. [ET]
• The Emmy nominations are being announced by Neil Patrick Harris and Kristin Chenowith this morning! [ET]
• Does Calum Best want Lindsay Lohan back? A source says he's been secretly texting LL. And! When they were together, "Lindsay couldn't get enough of his bedroom antics." Ha, well, things may have changed. Coughlezebelcoughcough. [Mirror]
• Since Amy Winehouse is in the hospital, will she miss Nelson Mandela's birthday show? [Mirror]
• Baby mama drama for 50 Cent: Shaniqua Tompkins, the mother of his 11-year-old son, says Fiddy is responsible for the fire that destroyed her Long Island mansion last month. 50 says that's not true and that Ms. Tompkins has made it "practically impossible" for him to speak to his son since the fire. (Girl… It's easy to love me now. Would you love me if I was down and out?) [Rush & Molloy]

The Good:
Note to self: Look as awesome as Iman every day. (Must find floral dress that is feisty, not frilly.) Also, accessorize with David Bowie.
Martha Stewart: Her basic black look is chic and fresh. It's a good thing.
Okay, considering that Donna Karan typically turns up looking somewhere between crazy cat lady and homeless, I'm relieved to see her in something fitted and a little funky. Also, totally digging the shoes.
Russell Simmons and Porschia Coleman: Gorgeous couple, great sense of style.
I only hope that Robert DeNiro appreciates the vast awesomeness of wife Grace Hightower's caftan.


The Bad:
It appears that Sigourney Weaver showed up in her pajamas.
Natasha Richardson's dress is just a wee bit too short, no? And Drena DeNiro is a little too made up.
As the heir apparent to the universe (she is Oprah's bestie after all), surely Gayle King could have mustered together something a little more impressive than this.
Dear Seinfelds: Stop looking so smug. Especially since Jessica's shoes are sure to embarrass you in years to come.


The Ugly:
I can't get over Deborah Lin's shoes. Even the intimidating presence of James Gandolfini isn't enough to distract from footwear that bears an uncanny resemblance to the first shoes-with-heels I ever owned. The year was 1997. The occasion was my Bat Mitzvah.

[Images via FilmMagic and Getty.]

• Uh-oh... Tracie Rice, the woman who was in the car Lindsay Lohan chased at high speed right before her DUI arrest last July, claims she has spent upwards of $3,500 on therapy since the incident (and lost her job). Guess who she wants to pay for the shrink? Papers have been filed! [TMZ]
  
• Lindsay is also being sued by the busboy who was injured when her car smashed into his vehicle in 2005. Raymundo Ortega is also naming The Ivy restaurant in his suit; he claims the hotspot supplied LL with booze before the accident. Linz had better quit shopping and start working. [TMZ]
  
• The cancellation of the Golden Globes means no movie studio parties, no magazine parties, no hotel room reservations, no limos, etc. The Los Angeles economy will reportedly take a $100 million hit. [Page Six]
  
• The LAPD issued a restraining order to Britney Spears last Thursday night during her custody standoff. The emergency protective order is enforced for five business days and dictates that the person it's placed on stays 100 feet from the other person or face arrest. Sick of this story yet? [People]

• Rapper Eminem was rushed to the hospital over the holidays for pneumonia and a heart condition. Sources say his weight has "ballooned" to 212 lbs. Thick Shady? [TMZ]
• Preggo teen Jamie Lynn Spears: Loves the soundtrack to Juno. No, really. [Page Six]
• Zoey 101, Jamie Lynn's Nickelodeon show, is experiencing its highest ratings ever. Nothing says "hot teen entertainment" like a knocked-up star. [E!]
• And hey, Jamie Lynn is attending parenting classes with her mom, so that could be good. [MSNBC]
• Dita Von Teese is suing an L.A.-based dominatrix who allegedly stole the proceeds to a film Ms. Von Teese made in 2001. Not sure how you get a dominatrix to back down... maybe Dita needs a "safe word"? [Page Six]
• Blind-esque item! "Which former presidential daughter is on the 'Anna Wintour facial refreshment plan'? Before she went on a book tour last year, she paid a visit to her dermatologist to get Botox, restalyne and collagen injections so she could face the public looking like her old self." [Page Six]
• Will Smith: Loving Scientology! He gave the crew of a film gifts when the movie wrapped: cards good for a personality test at any local Scientology center. Which, incidentally, you can get free. From the Church of Scientology. [Gatecrasher]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: Getting drinks even after the bar was closed at the Critics Choice Awards. Sucks not to be them. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which distinctively named member of a chart-topping pop group swings both ways? He surprised his male talent escort at a recent Hollywood red-carpet event with an invitation back to his hotel room." [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm not going to tell her to go to rehab. She's not an idiot, she knows what her problem is." — Kelly Osbourne on Amy Winehouse. [Mirror]
• Right before the new season of American Idol begins: Paula Abdul had a "nervous breakdown that lasted 10 minutes" at the Continental Airlines terminal at LAX, says a source. "One minute she was hyperventilating and on the verge of passing out; the nest she was yelling into her cell phone in this deep, rage-filled Poltergeist voice." [MSNBC]
• An anchor on the Golf Channel (?) said that other golfers should "lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley." Absolutely unconscionable. [Perez Hilton]
• Sopranos star James Gandolfini has asked his girlfriend, former model Deborah Lin, to marry him. She said yes. [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Lopez says there was "massive pressure" from her family to get knocked up. "When Marc and I first got married, my mother rang me every day asking if there was any news," she spills. "I come from a Latino family where it's all about children." Surely her mother will be doubly psyched when J. Lo gives birth to twins? [People]
• A carbon footprint organization has rated green rock bands and Pete Doherty is greener than Sting. And not green as in he smokes green. [Mirror]
• Jude Law's ex-wife Sadie Frost, 42, has been shagging men in their 20s. "It's not a conscious thing but dating a younger man seems to work," she says. "They're not so intimidated by the fact that I've got a family." (Sadie's got four kids!) [Daily Express]
• Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil is "falling apart" in prison. He's had to receive medical attention for self-inflicted injuries; he's been slashing his arms and breaking down in tears. [TransWorldNews]
• Jessica Alba on teen heartthrob Zac Efron: "He looks like a child with a lot of makeup. I was like, My God, you're just a little kid." [News.com.au]
• Fergie is a sex freak. Yeah, didn't need to know, but there it is. [The Sun]