• There's the usual gloom, sex, scandal and, ahem, 50 Cent's makeup line - today, but first, brace yourselves: Michelle Obama has not RSVP'd to Fashion Week. This woman's priorities are way out of whack! [WWD]

• About Fitty: he's starting a men's grooming line, containing both moisturizers and supplements. Quoth "someone," "his range will be for the guy who likes to be pampered, but the supplements will make it more butch." [Yahoo via New York]
• Katie Holmes' latest batch of Miu Miu photos is "softer" than the last: Read, she's lying around dreamily in firelight. [Popsugar]
• A bunch of children's Harajuku Lovers Hooded Jackets by Gwen Stefani are being recalled in California because their defective ties are a "strangulation risk." [CPSC]
• Kelly Cutrone, who's cut an awesomely bitchy swath across the reality show landscape, may now be getting her own. Fashion PR doyenne Cutrone, who's stirred pots on The City and The Hills, has inked an eight-episode deal with Bravo for a show that follows her, presumably, insulting people at her company People's Revolution. [New York Post]
• Alexander McQueen brings a touch of punk to a Target near you: "The heart of McQ is rebellious youth culture, a certain spirit that embodies the regular line as well as the Target collection. It's an ‘eighties punk aesthetic that evokes the anarchy and social change of the time. Youth culture now really looks back and embraces the past, but keeps it contemporary but not sticking to one particular style." [New York]
• Victoria's Secret is introducing a new, green fragrance line to the bordello, plus a perfume that "smells like lace." [Racked]
• It would seem that the president of Theory was one of Madoff's manifold victims, along wit a score of other fashion insiders. Bernie, meanwhile, is still sitting pretty under house arrest - one hopes not in a Theory suit! [WWD]
• It's not much, but they'll take it: LVMH reported a "slim annual increase" and flat profits for the year. [WSJ]
• In case no one was sure that Lorenzo Martone was Marc Jacobs' boy toy, the Brazilian looker sported, to the premiere of He's Just Not That Into You, a shirt bearing the immortal words: "Do me in the park. Marc." [New York Post]
• Sometimes there's just no point in paraphrasing the perfection of the British press:
  "Alice Hawkins looks like Dolly Parton and likes to hang out with gangsters, showgirls and topless models. She also happens to be one of the fashion world's hottest photographers." [Telegraph]
• Oh noes! Teri Agins, the respected Wall Street Journal fashion writer, is a recession casualty. [Forbes]
• Hey, remember that cute "I die. Bananas" tee? Yeah, cease and desist. Zoe has them trademarked. [New York]
• DVF just threw an odd luncheon, the guest list of which included Diana Ross, James Frey, The City + cameras, and a bunch of designers. Stars: they're nothing like us! [WWD]
• Ugh: The UGG index is up, which is bad news for real shoes, the economy. [MSNBC]
• UGGS, at least, are total depression-wear: dreary, warm, stolid. The continuing popularity of Crocs? Totally baffling! [Telegraph]
• Zara, one of the other indestructibles, expands its sorta-fast fashion to India. [FT]
• We can add nothing to this: Lilly Pulitzer-print Jeep. [Fashion Week Daily]
• What can we say? Digging on Julia Roitfeld's ads for Mango! [Fashionista]

• Before we tackle today's inevitable layoffs, liquidations and bankruptcies, look at David Beckham. Look at semi-naked David Beckham. In his very important new Emporio Armani ad. Why, good morning to you, Dave. [People]

• Unfortunately for Heidi Montag, clothing lines whose main qualification as same is the attachment of a famous name are not faring well in the downturn. (Please, let someone therefore piece it together that continuing to announce B-List Star for Major Middle Market Retailer arrangements isn't a recession-proof move.) [AdAge]
• Unfortunately, the news came too late to stop Hilary Duff for DKNY Jeans... [WWD]
• ...and to stop Jessica Alba from dipping her toe into the designer waters. [Fashionista]
• And Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen menswear. (OK, so The Row technically should get a pass for being, actually, kinda good, but it's the principle of the thing.) [Elle]
• But getting a celebrity to wear your dress on a red carpet is still worth a starlet's weight in gold. [WSJ]
• The recession will not, however, kill Spanx, which had sales volume of over $350 million last year. Because while the shitty economy is temporary, hating your body enough to want to squeeze and yank and pull it into a girdle is forever. [Reuters]
• The economic situation is making it tougher perhaps than ever for young designers who were in the midst of expanding in line with pre-recession demand and fanfare. [NY Times]
• Esprit has reported its first interim drop in profits in ten years. Sales are slow worldwide, and particularly so in Europe. [Financial Times]
• Estee Lauder's second-quarter profits are also down by 30%. The company will restructure 2,000 workers out of working existence. [The Street]
• Elizabeth Arden, however, beat analysts' expectations for the second quarter by 2 cents a share. Sales still fell 12.7% and net profit was down from $33.8 million one year ago to $17.4 million now. [Reuters]
• A handful more details about the Mathew Williamson line for Target: it launches on April 23, it will be colorful (which, frankly, if anything at all comes to mind when you think "Mathew Williamson" you already knew), and in addition to the regular frocks and tops, there'll be jumpsuits. Controversial move! [Blackbook]
• Kim Gordon discusses her line for Urban Outfitters, Mirror/Dash, with the New York Times, but although they hit stores on February 16, there's only one picture of the actual clothes. She's surprisingly realistic about Mirror/Dash's design process — she admits she doesn't actually sketch so much as talk about fabric and "ideas" with her partner before sending away to Urban Outfitters' sample houses. [The Moment]
• Never to be outdone by Vogue and its eyebrow-raising Sean Avery internship, Elle now has for an intern the fashlete (did I just make that up? I think I did. Let's go with it!) Stew Bradley, an actual Philadelphia Eagle. May he cherish the coffee-schlepping, xeroxing, and sexual harassment that are the hallmarks of any true New York media internship. [The Cut]
• Except, on his first day, Bradley went to lunch with Diana Ross, Diane von Furstenberg, Jessica Alba, Jason Wu, Anil Kapoor Veronica Webb, Eva Amurri, John Frey, Roberta Myers, Joe Zee, Anne Slowey, Whitney Port, and Olivia Palermo. At Diane von Furstenberg's studio. [WWD]
• Now, if she'd only worn her favorite label, Carhartt, on the campaign trail, Sarah Palin might have had a shot at the Brooklyn hipster vote! [US News]
• Janie Bryant, the costume designer for Mad Men, is crafting a contemporary, not vintage, clothing line. And that's about all she's willing to say just now. [WSJ]
• High-end Baltimore fabric store Michael's Fabrics says it has the lemongrass embroidered wool Isabel Toledo used to create Michelle Obama's inauguration day outfit. It's 33" wide and yours for a mere $500 a yard. Just in case you want to whip a dress up at home. [Unbeige]
• Isabel Toledo is still reeling from the media attention following dressing Michelle Obama. (Her husband, the fashion illustrator Ruben Toledo, calls it "Obamathon.") An exhibition of her dresses is going up at the museum at FIT in June. [WWD]
• Monique Lhuillier is introducing a new, more moderately priced line for fall. Given her regular dresses retail for $3,000-$7,000, "moderately priced" in this sentence means around $2,500. [WSJ]
• The Washington Post saw Jill Biden and her security detail nip into Bloomingdale's to buy some Tory Burch shoes. [Washington Post]
• UK Elle has Vivienne Westwood's handwritten "manifesto," and it includes such worthwhile tips as "DIY Suggestions: Necklace of safety pins" and the reminder "We need an estimated $30 billion per year to save the rainforest. $30,000,000,000,000,000,000,000etc-->" Also, she believes Leonard Peltier is innocent. [Elle]
• PETA Photoshopped a Pinocchio nose on to Giorgio Armani's face for a full-page ad in Variety after the scrappy perma-tanned Italian allegedly went back on his word after pledging to no longer use fur in his collections. Armani's people say they use only rabbit fur from animals raised for meat. [New York Daily News]
• Now, this should be fun: Lynda Carter, Valerie Bertinelli, Katie Couric, Natya Liukin, Jennie Garth, and Tori Spelling are among those modeling for a fashion week show dedicated to heart health. Designers include Christian Siriano, Carolina Herrera, and those guys at Badgley Mischka. [WWD]

Hoffman realized the book had been published after seeing a photo of Peggy and her daughter, Rya, in the Times' "Home & Garden" section last week. That story described Peggy's pink hoodie, "gangland slang" and acrylic nails, and congratulated her for her grit in overcoming her underprivileged existence. (Sample passage: "'The first time my o. g. visited me here'" — meaning original gangster, the gang's leader — 'he slept 20 hours straight. In L.A. your anxiety is so high you sleep three hours a night.'") The Times had been creaming themselves over Love and Consequences until the fabrication news broke. In addition to the "Home & Garden" profile, the notoriously poison-tongued and powerful book critic Michiko Kakutani had given Love an outright rave.

Sarah McGrath, Peggy's editor at Riverhead (the same imprint that published James Frey's My Friend Leonard), is devastated. "It's very upsetting to us because we spent so much time with this person and we felt such sympathy for her and she would talk about how she didn't have any money or any heat and we completely bought into that and thought we were doing something good by bringing her story to light," McGrath told the Times. McGrath added: "There was a way to do this book honestly and have it be just as compelling." (McGrath is absolutely correct. If you want to read a well-researched book about the inner city world of drug running, try Random Family by Adrien Nicole LeBlanc.)

Peggy sounds only semi-contrite about lying her way to a book deal. "For whatever reason, I was really torn and I thought it was my opportunity to put a voice to people who people don't listen to...I was in a position where at one point people said you should speak for us because nobody else is going to let us in to talk." Peggy did work with gang members in South Central and, for a time, attended Grant High in a poor section of the Valley; she based the book on the experiences of those around her. "Trust no one. Even your own momma will sell you out for the right price or if she gets scared enough," she writes in Love and Consequences. Sadly, book editors may have to start heeding that advice more and more.

Author Admits Acclaimed Memoir Is Fantasy [New York Times]
A Refugee From Gangland [New York Times]
However Mean the Streets, Have an Exit Strategy [New York Times]
Gangbanger Margaret B. Jones Is Really Peggy Seltzer, Valley Girl [Mediabistro]
Why Do We Keep Publishing Fake Memoirists? [Mediabistro]

Related: Fabricating Writer's Hilarious Interview

At this point, we hope that Ms. Conner and Ms. Begue both learn a thing or two from those most notorious of shamed pageant queens and "memoirists": Vanessa Williams and James Frey. Because not only can losing a pageant title can be the ticket to a successful career in pop music and television, making shit up in a non-fiction memoir will get you an even bigger book deal the next time around!

Miss France Keeps Title Despite Photos [Yahoo]

Tara Conner To Write Memoir Of Her Rehab Experience [People]

Related: Fuck The Bullshit: It's Time To Throw James Frey Down

Earlier: Miss New Jersey's Raunchy Photos Revealed At Last

• Heath Ledger: continuing his "Michelle who?" tour by being seen making out with model Helena Christensen. [Page Six]
  
• Heath was also seen getting the digits of a "waifish 6 ft blond" who was David Blaine's date. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Stuart Townsend on Charlize Theron: "There's no big official story on a wedding, but we are married. ... I consider her my wife and she considers me her husband." [People]
  
• Britney Spears and Kevin Federline met at her lawyer's office yesterday — Jayden's first birthday and five days before they're due in family court. Britney was to end the "public debacle" but Kevin "needs more money." Sigh. [People]
  
• Even wildlife live in fear of Naomi Campbell: She has plans to open a five-star casino and hotel on the Indian Ocean — which marine experts say will have a negative effect on the sea turtle population. [Page Six]

• Bouncers "escorted" James Garfunkel, the "skinny" 16-year-old son of Art Garfunkel, out of the fashion week tents right before the Anna Sui show for reasons no one seems to know. [Page Six]
• Viggo Mortensen fans should be sure to check out his new flick Eastern Promises, in which he is naked in a steam room for ten minutes while fighting off knife-wielding killers. [Page Six]
• Carmen Electra "performed" at a 2(x)ist fashion week show, but only one person was allowed to take pictures: Her manager's brother (who is a photographer). Makes sense. [Gatecrasher]
• Justin "Hi, I'm a Mac" Long: Seen drunk and spilling stuff on himself, yawn. [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
• You've hear this before, but a source at Diddy's party — 12 hours before the show — says Britney Spears was so drunk "she couldn't stand." [Gatecrasher, 3rd item]
• Blind item! "Which white-hot young actor had to be asked by a Los Angeles nightclub manager to at least take his cocaine to the bathroom if he was going to do it in the middle of the club?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• LL Cool J thinks Kid Rock and Tommy Lee should brawl on pay-per-view. We'd watch. [Rush & Molloy ]
• Simon Cowell thinks Britney Spears can "turn it around." [TMZ]
• Foxy Brown, despite what she told the New York Post, is not pregnant. [TMZ]
• Christina Aguilera is pregnant, but you already knew that. [OK!]
• Is Jennifer Lopez pregnant? [The Sun]
• Pete Doherty, football team manager? [TheSun]

• WWD turns to everyone's favorite reputable source, reluctant fiction-writer James Frey for comment on the literary merits of Cynthia Rowley's new children's book, Slim. "I am very familiar with the genre of fantasy memoirs," he says. [WWD, 1st item]
• Vogue publishing director Tom Florio credits Men's Vogue as having "launched [Barack] Obama's campaign, right or wrong." [WWD, 1st item]
• Chloe Sevigny says her rebel-girl style stems from her disgust for the "homogenized, blonde, blue-eyed preppy girls" populating her Connecticut hometown. [Vogue UK]

• Fret not, Grey's Anatomy fans. Kate Walsh didn't take the plunge and chop her 'do into fierce bangs, as recently spotted at the GLAAD Media Awards: It's a wig. [People]
• Coulda-been-a-princess Kate Middleton gets offered a job by Tom Ford. [Fashionista]

What is it with Oprah Winfrey? Anyone who witnessed the flamingly heterosexual Tom Cruise pounce on her couches ranting of his love for poor dear Katie Homes must have wanted to wack Oprah round the head with a copy of A Million Little Pieces, when she went on to crucify James Frey. Is there an in-crowd and an out-crowd for liars? Tom - have a couch and bounce, bounce, bounce for your fake love. James, screw you, you lying little bastard.

Which brings us to this month's O magazine. Or rather, the editor's letter, where the World's Most Powerful and Book-Embracing and Healing Female Billionaire perches randomly on a rock, contorted strangely, but precisely, to minimise sight of any flab, and airbrushed from a size 14 to a size 6 with the wonder of modern technology. But not even the best airbrush artist in the world can distract attention from her posterior, which seems to be ominously inflating, as if it's desperate to fly away, make a bid for statehood and maybe cure cancer at the same time.

But don't think that any of this is about Mother Teresa Oprah being self-conscious about her weight. Perish the thought. In the June "Body Issue" of O, America's Future First Female President and Winner of the Nobel Prize for the Promotion of Mediocre Literature tells us she's finally made peace with her body. No, really.

"I don't know if embracing tummy flab will help save the world [don't worry folks, she'll get back to you on that once she's done it], but I promise that getting comfortable in your own skin will save you a lot of grief."

And if that doesn't work, perch yourself uncomfortably on a rock, and have an airbrush and your delusions close to hand.