Kim Kardashian was rushed to an L.A. hospital in tears on Tuesday night after she felt something had gone awry with The (Second) Most Important Baby of Our Time, shortly after she got off a plane from Paris. (She was seeing a Givenchy show with Kanye West.) She's fine, fortunately, and was sent home the following day…
Yet Another Sad Dude Pines for the Days When James Bond Had a…
Remember when a micro-violin had to be specially made and tuned to assuage Washington Post columnist Richard Coen's anxiety about how James Bond's screen evolution from slack-limbed inebriate to P90X infomercial model meant that cantankerous old lechers like Richard Coen might no longer be able to impress attractive…
Old Man Sad to Learn Old Men No Longer Automatically Get Laid
BREAKING! Cranky old man confronted by an idealized male physique in the form of Daniel Craig's James Bond, experiences hurt feelings over the fact that the universe doesn't revolve around his self esteem, writes whole big column about it. A waahmbulance has been called to the scene.
There's No Female Bond Because Women Don't Ever Just Bang Someone For…
Just in time for the release of Skyfall, there's a lengthy piece on Hollywod.com about the lack of female Bond figures, short of a few facsimiles who hardly stand the same test of time: Sydney Bristow from Alias, say, and damn near every Angelina Jolie franchise. Two primary issues are cited as the roadblocks between…
Cee Lo Is Definitely Not a Sex Criminal, Says Some Lady Who Has No…
I mean, believe me, lady. We're all hoping that Cee Lo does not turn out to be a sex criminal, so that he can go on being a 400% lovable Weeble person cranking out hilarious nonstop jams. BUT. I'm not sure your position as "eliminated former Voice contestant" qualifies you to soothsay about criminal penis activity. Of…
James Bond Was Cool, But There Were Hot Messes at the Skyfall Premiere
Last night at the Tate Modern in London, the Royal World Premiere of Skyfall took place. British red carpets are rather amusing: Prince Charles and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall were rubbing shoulders with former Page Three gal Kelly Brook and tacky heiress Tamara Ecclestone. Most of the luminaries on hand looked…
Did You Know That Diane Keaton Was Once a Bond Girl?
In an alternate universe in which maybe the SLIDING DOORS of a subway car closed in Woody Allen's face and he didn't get to meet Diane Keaton in quite the same way and therefore never worked with her and so instead she picked up some work in a Bond movie, setting off a chain reaction in that alternate universe whereby…
James Bond Attempts to Make Beer Thrilling and Sexy
Skyfall hits theaters in November, and dashing Daniel Craig is back as James Bond. But this time, thanks to some misguided demographic target marketing, instead of throwing back martinis, Bond drinks beer. Specifically Heineken, which, you know, is European, at least? But still. It might be realistic for a sexy spy…
Queen Elizabeth Parachutes into the Olympics and the World Giggles…
If somebody took a time machine back to 1946 and told King George VI that one day his daughter would take part in a stunt that made it appear as if she was jumping out of a helicopter and that this would be hailed in the media as a turning point in the British monarchy's uphill effort to rebrand itself as "hip," he would …
Get Ready to Find Out What James Bond Smells Like
The new James Bond 007 fragrance debuts at Harrods next month, coinciding with the 50th anniversary of the James Bond film franchise, and release of the 23rd Bond film, Skyfall (which hits theaters in the US in November). Because nothing says "secret spy" like having your agency code number on a fragrance bottle. So,…
